It could have been worse. That’s what my grandmother always used to say to me when I’d come whining to her about some mishap. So, I thought, you know, the fall-out from Willow’s spell … it could have been worse. A. Lot. Worse.
No plot teasers here, but the cast of this story includes, but is not limited to, Buffy, Spike, Giles, Willow, Xander, Anya, Riley, a geeky bellboy, two dwarfs, four topless dancers, a dozen (give or take one or two) Hungarian demons, an Elvis impersonator, a chain-smoking grandmother from Des Moines, and Donald Trump.
Warning: if you are looking for something serious or angsty or even mushy romantic, this ain’t it. Please fasten your seat-belts, make sure your tray tables are in the upright position, and plant tongue firmly in cheek.
```@```
The tiny bell perched atop the door jamb heralded Buffy and Spike's departure from the Magic Box. The slamming of the door, which rattled said door on its hinges, indicated Spike's mood.
"Can't believe they're out of tagus root." Spike muttered, stomping along the sidewalk, his duster flapping behind him. "And they call themselves a bloody magic shop!"
Buffy lengthened her stride to catch up with him then sidled closer to the agitated vampire. Slipping her hand into his, she pulled him to a halt and turned him toward her. "Calm down, Spike. They said an order was coming in tomorrow. We can come back and pick it up then."
Spike looked down at their twined fingers, then slowly lifted her hand, turning it so that he could place a kiss on the soft skin of her palm. Looking down into her eyes, he smiled slyly, one eyebrow slowly on the rise. "Hell, Slayer, it's your watcher. I just wanted to get this soddin' blindness business out of the way so we could get down to—"
"Planning our wedding?" Buffy looked up into his eyes, actually vibrating with eagerness.
Spike let go of her hands, wiggling his index fingers into the waistband of her slacks, and pulled her to him. As their pelvises bumped, he felt his cock grow hard within the confines of his jeans. Wrapping his arms around her waist he held her tight. "I was thinking more about the honeymoon, Pet."
"Oh!" Her smile widened, and she blinked up at him, her green eyes sparkling with joy. She snuggled into his arms, her breasts flattening against the hardness of his chest, her cheek nestled on his shoulder. "Where do you want to go?"
Spike dipped his head, placing nibbling kisses along the slender column of her neck. He felt the Slayer shiver at his touch and moved his lips to the soft, sweet spot behind her ear. "Don't care where we go, luv. Just wanna be alone with you." His voice was husky, his breath cool against her skin. When Buffy sighed in contentment, Spike moved one hand from her waist slowly over the curve of her hip, his fingers seeking and at last finding the soft flesh of her rump through the thin cloth of her trousers.
Buffy looked up at him coquettishly through her lashes. "Spike," her chuckle ended in a shriek when he grabbed a handful of her ass and proceeded to grind himself enthusiastically against the apex of her thighs.
Before Buffy even knew what had happened, the lustful vampire had her pressed against the door of the shop next to the Magic Box and was ravaging her mouth with his. His tongue, cool and silky, moved to twine with her own, coaxing her and emboldening her to do a bit of her own exploring.
Buffy’s hands caressed the hard muscles of the vampire's back, her fingers trembling at the emotions that were surging through her. She knew that something about this was wrong – but for the life of her, she couldn’t pinpoint what it was. As much as she’d hated Spike only two hours ago, she now loved him in a way that set her heart to fluttering at his smallest glance. He’d been the bane of her existence and now it seemed he was the center of her universe. She wanted to figure this mystery out. She really did. But at the moment, the only mystery that she could wrap her mind around was how any man could have lips this soft.
“Buffy?”
The familiar voice filtered through Buffy’s hormonally charged brain and she wrenched her lips free from Spike’s and stood on tiptoe to look over his shoulder.
“Riley?” she squeaked.
It took Spike a moment longer to gather his wits and realize that the snogging session he’d just instigated had been rudely interrupted. As Buffy quickly straightened her clothing, he turned to find himself pretty much nose to chest with a rather impressive expanse of pectoral muscle. His gaze slowly flowed up until at last, chin raised, he looked into the hard stare of Riley Finn.
“Who the hell is this tosser?” Spike’s eyes never left the taller man’s face, even when he felt Buffy brush past him.
“Tosser?” Riley sputtered, his eyebrows rising.
Buffy moved between the two men and smiled up at Riley. “I think that’s some sort of British euphemism for ‘nice guy.’”
Riley narrowed his eyes at Spike. “Yeah. I’m thinking not.”
Buffy quickly spun back to Spike. “It’s Riley, Spike. Riley Finn. My psychology TA.”
Spike stepped around Buffy, appraising Finn from head to toe. The smirk that twitched the corners of the vampire’s lips indicated that he found the other man lacking. "Oh, so this is the wanker you had that picnic with?"
"Wanker?" Riley growled.
"Yes,” Buffy again inserted herself between the two men. “I think that means ‘big fella’."
“Okay, now I know that’s not true.” Riley took another step towards Spike, turning Buffy into what could only be described as the filling of a machismo sandwich.
Pressing both hands to Spike’s chest she shoved him away, then once again turned to Riley with a cheery smile. “Riley, I’d like you to meet Spike.”
Riley’s eyes shifted from the vampire to Buffy, a look of incredulity flashing across his face. “Spike?”
“Yes,” Buffy smiled, walking to Spike and linking her arm through his. She gazed into his eyes lovingly. “Spike. My fiancé.”
TBC
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!