By Chapter 1:
"You know what love, I'm sick of you following me around giving me moon eyes all the time…We’re not friends anymore okay, so quit acting like we are. Get that into your thick head, yeah?" Spike said looking at Buffy, who had streams of tears running down her face.
"But…you said we'd be friends forever," her voice was barely a whisper, as she looked up into his crystal blue eyes.
"I could never be friends with someone like you, Summers. You’re beneath me," he spat out.
"Ha-ha, what a loser!" Cordelia Chase, the school's resident queen bee laughed, coming to stand behind Spike and resting a hand on his shoulder. Her laughter caused a chain reaction of what seemed to be nails on a chalkboard to Buffy’s ears, and soon the whole hall was laughing at her. "Hear that, Betty…? Toddle off now." The tall brunette cheerleader waved her hand off at Buffy as if she were a fly.
"You're an asshole Spike." Spikes twin, Drusilla, had witnessed the whole scene in the cafeteria. She came to stand beside him, their similar pale features even more apparent as they stood close, and smacked him upside the head before walking over to Buffy.
"Sweetie, come on," Dru whispered putting her arm around Buffy's shoulders and leading her away from her brother and his new set of laughing friends.
"Man, you sure showed her," Angel O'Connor laughed, slapping Spike on his back.
"Yeah…" Spike whispered, watching the only best friend he'd truly ever had, the only girl he'd ever love, walk away from him in tears. Tears, which he had caused. He wanted to beat the living shit out of himself for hurting Buffy like that. His stomach twisted into knots before rising up his throat.
"I don't know why you hung around her, man. She's such a loser," Angel continued as their group started to move.
'God! what have I done?' Spike thought watching from a distance as Buffy burst into another round of sobs as she wrapped her arms around his sister.
"Spike! Are you even listening to me?" Cordelia slapped Spike's arm, breaking his gaze that had just been on Buffy and Willow, who were scribbling notes to each other on a piece of paper, and putting an end to the flashbacks of what he had done to the person who used to be his best friend. God he hated the memory of what he'd done.
"Yeah pet, Andrew and Jonathan being gay," Spike said stealing one last glance at Buffy.
Buffy you have to tell him!
No way!
But..
The piece of crumpled paper was ripped out from under the redhead’s hands before she could write anything else.
There is no way that I am telling Spike Giles that I'm in love with him.
Buffy slid the note over to Willow so she could read it. At seeing the red heads furrowed brow, Buffy brought the paper back to her side of the desk and began to write into further detail.
Will's…he was my best friend for years. He hurt me real bad in front of the whole school ages ago. But, and I don't know why, but I still love him. I don't think I ever stopped.
Buffy stopped to look at her dear friend with sad eyes, as if she was apologizing for the way her stupid heart was behaving.
I'm a loser Will and that's all he's ever going to see me as……… He doesn't even look at me anymore. He probably doesn't even see me…
Buffy stopped herself and tried another reasoning.
There is no point in telling him because I'm just putting myself up for more heartache!
Buffy passed the note back to Willow and sighed, smiling sadly as Willow looked up at her.
I still think you should tell him, and he does see you Buffy. You may not notice, but I do!
I'll just watch from a distance…like I always have.
Buffy sighed, laying her head in her hands, and stealing a glance across the classroom at Spike. He was talking to them again. The blonde bimbo Harmony Kendal and the other Barbie Cordelia Chase. That was the group he had associated with when they first started high school, the popular crowd.
"I think you should tell him," Willow leaned across and whispered, seeing the sad look on Buffy's face. Willow had known for a while that Buffy was in love with Spike, and the fact that Buffy didn't think Spike even saw her was totally off. Willow knew Buffy couldn't see it, but whenever she looked over in his direction, she would catch a glimpse of Spike staring at Buffy, smiling to himself.
Spike, aka William Giles, and his twin sister Drusilla had moved from England to Sunnydale 10 years ago following the sudden death of their mother when they were eight years old. The house they had moved into with their father was next door to the Summers residence.
Buffy's mother had forced her to come along to meet the next-door neighbours and from the very first time she had laid eyes on William, she had known they would be friends forever. However, the current situation told Buffy she had been very wrong.
They spent weekends together back then, had movie nights and even played in the small pool that Joyce had bought them. They played dress-ups with each other and attempted to stake each other as pretend vampires. When high school came around, things changed. Spike became hot and popular while Buffy was dubbed a loser.
The bell rang and Buffy was shaken from her musings. She and Willow packed their books in their bags and watched as everyone made a mad rush to the door and out the school gates, all breathing a sigh of relief that summer break was finally here.
"Freedom at last!" Xander yelled running up to Buffy and Willow as they walked down the front steps of the school. Xander and Willow had met Buffy shortly after the incident with Spike in the cafeteria. They were great shoulders to lean on and Xander could always cheer the little blonde up by saying he was going to ‘kick Spike’s ass’. Not that he ever put that plan into action, but it still made her laugh.
"So I take it you’re excited about summer break, then?" Buffy laughed as Xander wrapped an arm around her and Willow's shoulders.
"You’re damn right I am!" he beamed. "Lots of breaky goodness away from this Hell hole, before we have to come back and do it again for Senior year" he grumbled the last part. Willow just smiled excitedly.
"Cheer up munchkins…next year holds so much excitement!" Drusilla smiled catching up with the friends that she had never given up unlike her brother.
"You’re coming to the Bronze tonight?" Willow asked looking at Buffy, Dru and Xander.
"I'll be there… But I can't stay long, you know the drill," Buffy sighed.
"Me too!" Dru smiled, wrapping an arm around Buffy's shoulders.
"You’re still going away with Captain Peroxide?" Xander asked looking at the petite blonde. At Buffy's nod, Xander sighed. "I don't know what you see in him Buff, he treats you like crap for the last 3 years and yet, every time he walks past, you manage to go all doe eyed." If looks could kill, Spike would be in severe pain from the daggers Xander was sending his way, as he walked past them and accidentally bumped into Buffy, without a single look or word of apology.
"Xander!" Willow exclaimed, slapping Xander on the arm.
"Hey, I have nothing against what he just said," Dru said. "He is an asshole." Xander pointed at Dru and smiled, the look of 'See? That's exactly what I mean' was pasted on his face.
"Spike, can you give me and Buffy a lift?" Dru yelled out to her brother as he was getting into his car. He chose to ignore them and started the engine, kicking his car into reverse and driving out of the school parking lot.
"It's ok, we'll walk," Buffy sighed watching Spike drive away, not helping but feeling a little hurt. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done it before. "I'll see you guys tonight, okay?" Buffy watched Spike's Desoto turn the corner and sighed. She remembered when he offered to drive her home in the first few months of high school. Not any more. Turning and hugging her friends goodbye, she started walking with Dru as they made their way down the path walk that would take them at least 30 minutes to get home.
"Bzzzzzzzz bzzzzzzzzz bzzzzzzzz" Buffy, sat up quickly, startled. She reached over to smack her alarm and lay back down in her bed. Lifting her head slightly from her pillow, she looked at the time and let out a groan. She shouldn't have gone out last night. ‘I think I danced too much, I completely wore myself out.’
"Buffy, are you up?" There was a banging on her door. "We’re leaving in 45 minutes and you’d better be ready!" Her mother’s voice could be heard through the door.
"It's un-natural for anyone to be awake this early," Buffy muttered as she pulled the covers off herself and rose to trudge her way down the hall to the bathroom, passing her mother along the way.
"Yes, well, if we want to beat the traffic you’d better hurry your self up, missy" Joyce smiled seeing the disarray of her daughter’s hair.
"I'm going, I'm going," Buffy mumbled, shutting the bathroom door and turning the shower on.
"William! Oh it’s going to be so wonderful…. Such pretty sounds she makes," Drusilla laughed as she walked into her brother’s room.
"Dru, sod off it’s 5:30," Spike groaned pulling the covers over his head. He tried counting sheep, one, to help him fall back asleep, and two, to calm himself down so he didn’t throttle his loony sister for trying to wake him so early.
"We’re leaving soon…oh wow!" Dru smiled looking at the ceiling and nothing in particular. "So you’d better hurry up and get ready."
Spike lifted his head and watched his sister as she stared off into the distance. "Dru, what are you doing?" He ran his hand through his hair a few times and blinked, slowly waking up.
"You have to wake up or you're going to miss it!" She smiled, walking out of his room giggling.
"You're right bloody crazy, you are," Spike said standing up and walking to the bathroom.
"William. Ah, there you are," Giles exclaimed, catching Spike before he went into the bathroom. "You'll be taking Buffy and Dru in your car. There’s not enough room in Joyce's with all the stuff that we've got," Giles smiled.
"Great," Spike fake smiled shutting the door. "Just bloody great," he sighed turning the faucet on for the shower. Hours of dealing with his sister’s random ramblings and sitting in the car that was sure to be full of tension.
Spike was oh-so looking forward to it.
"Don't touch anything. Don't fiddle with any dials…just, don't touch my stuff," Spike said watching Buffy like a hawk as she sat in the front passenger seat of his car.
"Hey! Be careful with that," Buffy, said glaring at Spike, as he carelessly chucked her guitar case in the boot of the Desoto.
"It's fine, Summers. Quit your whining," Spike sighed shutting the boot.
"Play nice, kiddies," Dru said sitting herself in the back seat. ‘God knows why she couldn't have sat in the front., Spike thought.
"This is going to be so much fun," Dru giggled from the back seat. Buffy turned around and smiled at her.
"Dru, we do this every year. And every year it’s boring as bat shit," Spike said pulling away from the curb and following Joyce's car down the road.
"That’s cuz you ruin every holiday," Buffy grumbled looking out her window.
"Oh, but the sunshine makes such lovely noises this time," She smiled at Buffy, who was now staring at a notepad in front of her, tapping her pen against it. Spike followed his sister's gaze and shook his head. Yep, she was bonkers alright. ‘Thank God we don’t share that trait.’
"I said don't touch anything," Spike said before Buffy's hand even reached the dial.
"God! If we can't listen to music, can we at least talk…the silence is making me insane!" Buffy exclaimed glaring at Spike. They hadn't had a proper conversation in years, she'd always been too nervous to talk to him in school after what had happed. Always fearing something worse would happened.
"Fine, what do you want to talk about, Summers?" Spike said resting one arm on the window ledge, his hand still on the steering wheel.
Drusilla sat quietly in the back. It was obvious she was in her own little world.
"I don't know. Anything…" she sighed. "How was your night?" she asked looking at his face.
"Went to the bronze. Hung out," he shrugged glancing at her quickly. She'd changed a lot in the last couple of years. Gone was the scrawny little kid he'd been so used to and now came the curved body of the woman she had become. Her hair had been cut differently; it came down past her shoulders in waves now, the sunlight making it shine. She was really beautiful, and it had never gone unnoticed by Spike either. Not that he'd ever let her know that. She hated him for what he'd done and said to her in their early years of high school.
"Oh, come on. What did you do? Dance, drink, what?" Buffy asked as she tried to get the conversation rolling. She knew he had been at the Bronze, she also knew what he had been doing. Talking to Oz and laughing with his mates. Not once looking at her.
"Hung out with the usual, Harmony, Cordy, Angel, Oz," he smiled remembering last night. He also remembered seeing her dance. "Though it was really just me and Oz," he laughed. "Cordy and Angel spent the whole night mackin’ on each other and Harm, well she tried to. But it was just me and Oz talking ‘bout stuff, " he smiled, remembering Harmony's face when he had shot her down.
"I thought you were going out with Harmony?" Buffy asked looking into his eyes. He glanced at her and blinked. She hoped it didn’t’t seem too obvious that she was eager to know whether they were together or not.
"Yeah I am. Just… it's complicated, luv," Spike turned his gaze to the road again. ‘Luv? Why'd he have to go and call her that?’ Buffy however smiled at the old pet name he had used.
"Do you love her?" Buffy asked not knowing where that question came from. Not that Spike was ever going to be interested in her, but she always hoped.
"Don't think I'll ever fall in love," he said nervously running a hand through his platinum locks. He’d thought at a time he had loved one person, when he was younger. But who knew what love was these days. Just ‘cause you swam half naked in your neighbour’s paddling pool and played dress ups with them didn't mean you loved them. Wait, since when did he start having deep and meaningful about Buffy?
"Never fall in love,” Buffy laughed nervously. "Shyeah right!" She turned her gaze out the window and watched other cars pass by. She was in love. Not that he'd ever get to know that. Breaking the silence that followed that exchange, Spike started to tell Buffy a joke Oz had told him.
"So Oz said that wh….." His voice became a blur as Buffy picked up her pen and paper and started to write. A few seconds later, she turned and smiled at Spike, noticing he had stopped talking and was quietly laughing.
In the back seat of the car Dru sat watching the two talk and started humming to herself. She smiled when she saw Buffy write a few lines in her note pad. It was going to be a very interesting holiday indeed.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!