Que sera sera
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, “What will I be?
Will I be pretty, will I be rich?”
Here’s what she said to me
Buffy smiled at her reflection, “Hi, I’m Buffy O’Conner. Hi, I’m Mrs. Liam O’Connor…Hi, I’m Liam Angelus O’Connor. Hi, I’m Liams’ angel”
Willow stepped in at the last title and smiled wide at her friend, “Does he call you that?”
“Every single night” Buffy answered honestly and smiled at her friend, “You look beautiful” Buffy gushed.
The red head looked down at the tasteful gown Buffy had chosen for her, a deep emerald green, sans the taffeta that Anya had suggested to “keep the eyes on the bride where they belong”. The dress fell to mid calf, a backless halter dress that luckily suited each of her brides maids, however the color on each one was different, just like her friends. Anya’s was a deep slate gray, Faith’s a crimson red.
And Buffy’s dress, well it was ivory and everything little girls dreamed of growing up. She looked like Cinderella and she looked in love, Willow had never seen her more beautiful.
Anya came rushing in with Faith, “It’s almost time Buffy, if you’re going to expel food I would do it now.” Anya blurted out and the girls laughed, all knowing she was without a doubt, serious.
“SHIT, I don’t have something blue” Buffy panicked before Faith’s eyes landed on one of the bouquets in the dressing room, she quickly plucked a small blue bud and placed it in Buffy’s hair.
“There you go, problem solved B” she said with a smile and a swat to the bride to be’s ass, “Now lets go get you hitched bitch.”
“Jesus Faith” Buffy laughed out and took a big breath, “This is it guys, let’s go get me married.” Buffy gushed.
When the double doors opened and Willow, being the first one to walk down the aisle, saw Angels face she knew her friend had made the right decision, people were always so focused on the bride that they seldom looked at the groom, and he was glowing.
He gave Willow a small wink and she nodded her head, smiling the whole time. Faith was close behind her and from the laughter that erupted Willow could just imagine what Faith was doing, it was a tie between winking at the single males or blowing kisses, she didn’t turn around to see but she knew the girl well enough.
She knew Anya had commenced her walk when she heard the overly loud whisper of “See Buffy, without the taffeta all eyes are on me”
Buffy rolled her eyes lovingly at her friend and took a deep breath as their organ signaled that it was now her turn.
With a smile she couldn’t hide even if God himself told her to she began the walk towards her man, a series of gasps erupted and she fought the urge to say “screw normalcy” and run down the aisle to the man waiting to spend forever happily in her arms.
It was as if a fog surrounded her though and her eyes refused to tell her brain what she was seeing, what the gasps were for.
Angel had not collapsed, a strangled “Buffy” had not been torn from his lips. He was not lying on the floor, eyes still on her, she was not the last thing his soulful brown eyes had seen.
Shouts were going out all around her as she stood there frozen, “Check his pulse” and “Get her the hell outta’ here’s” flying around the room and bouncing off the walls before breaking through the haze of her mind.
“Angel?” she whispered out, “Angel?”
Time seemed frozen as she ran, the petals of her bouquet scattering, each one a now dead dream of what was supposed to be.
People cleared the path for her and when she sank to her knees and pressed a kiss to his lips for the first time in her life with him she got no response.
And that’s when the images assailed her.
“I’m not looking for a friend” the sassy cheerleader had snapped at the jock, who had simply smiled and turned around, “I never said I was yours”
“Last time I checked, you were here with Darla” Buffy said with an eye role.
“Last time I checked, you turned me down thirty times” Angel countered.
“Go back to the ho bag Angel.”
“How long are you going to fight this Buffy? I want to be with you.” She smiled despite herself and took his hand as he led her to the dance floor.
“By the way, I really like your dress.”
“Yeah yeah, big hit with everyone” she said, and despite the tone, lacking in affection, her head landed on his chest and she smiled despite herself.
“Do you love me?” he asked softly.
“What?”
“Do you?” he asked again, running his hand through her hair.
“I love you. I don’t know if I trust you.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t do either” he whispered, pulling her closer to him.
“Maybe I’m the one who should decide” she answered angrily, before closing the distance between their mouths and leaving them both breathless.
“Shhh. I…”
“You what?”
“I love you. I try not to, but I can’t stop.” He told her as he cut off her ramble and checked her back, the small cut she’d gotten when she’d fallen running out of the rain and into his apartment already not bleeding anymore.
“Me…me too, I can’t either” she whispered.
“Why do you want to marry me?” she asked him, drawing lazy patterns on his chest not 36 hours ago.
“Because more than ever, I know how much I love you.” Came the quiet, and she knew, honest reply.
“I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget” she wailed out over and over again unknowingly, holding his lifeless body to hers, too lost in the grief to hear the sounds of anguish around her, the sound of her heart breaking the loudest of them all.
“Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be”
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!