Disclaimer : The characters are the property of Joss Whedon. He is a God even if he made some mistakes. Us loving fans are only striving to correct them. All bow to Spike’s creator. I sure do at least.
Timeline: Set during S5 but I screwed around with some of the timing. Riley left at the end of S4 because he couldn't deal with the slayer side of Buffy. Joyce is not sick yet and No sign of Glory. The Scoobies are slowly starting to accept Spike and he and Buffy have a friendly animosity going on.
a/n This one is dedicated to 2 wonderful writers, HollyDB and Eurydice. They don’t know me but their stories are the reason I write. I worship them. Cortina and Holly, Rosa and Zach rocks. With many thanks, I hope you like this if you ever read it.
Currently unbetaed.
There was something deeply soothing about rain. Not the hard and heavy kind but the soft kind, the one that fell gently to pelt on the windows. The kind without the fireworks of lightning and thunder, the kind that made you want to curl up on the couch with a book or a movie, dressed in pajamas.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the kind that was falling outside. No there had to be wind and it had to be a downpour. Blah, she thought, trying to convince herself that it was still comforting, and that it might cool her a bit. The heat was oppressive and a cool shower would be great. Except, it wasn’t a shower, it was a thunderstorm, and she didn’t want to have to go outside. Especially since patrol had been a bust lately. But the slayer took no vacations and she was somehow sure that one night off would be all that was needed for the next apocalypse to roll into town.
Man, this was California , the land of the sun, didn’t Mother Nature knew that? Not for the first time, she wished that she could truly share the burden of her calling with someone else.
Oh, the Scoobies were great, but they were also human, even if Willow and Tara ’s powers were kind of nifty. She sighed dejectedly and opened the door she had been staring at for the last fifteen minutes. The curtain of rain she faced had her reaching back to pull her long hair in a ponytail that wouldn’t get in her way as she, hopefully, fought. It would also prevent the rain from blinding her too much. How was it that she could fight vampires and demons but that she had to gather her courage to go out in one little storm?
She shook her head, a smile of irony on her lips. Maybe it was because storms on the Hellmouth usually signified something bad was about to happen. It could also have nothing at all to do with the storm and everything to do with her frame of mind. She had been feeling so damn lonely lately. Her friends were in love and didn’t seem to realize that she existed anymore, and Giles was to busy with the Magic Box to have noticed anything. Even her mom and Dawn seemed oblivious. She almost wished that Riley hadn’t left, because then she could have gotten smoochies. Granted, they weren’t exactly earth shattering smoochies, but still. You know you’re going crazy and too long without a guy when you start missing Riley. Any guy who leaves because he couldn’t handle who she was…Hell, I can’t even fool myself. Most days I can’t even handle who I am but do I leave? This leaving thing was driving her crazy, was something wrong with her?
She set up toward Restfield, thinking that a fight with the bane of her existence was exactly what she needed. Whatever you thought about him, and she did think a lot of things about him, he could always cheer her up with an old fashioned round of insult. Okay, she would have preferred a real fight, no holds bared but since that was impossible with the chip in his head, she would have to do with a shouting match. She was already planning which insults would work best when she was grabbed from behind and she only had a second to realize that she had never felt anyone was near before she felt a pinprick on her neck.
She started to turn around, happy to have a chance to break the funk she had been sinking in when the world started to blur. She shook her head, and when her vision cleared she put the episode on the fact that she had forgotten to eat lunch. She whirled and ducked, before sending a spin kick toward the aggressor that still remained unseen. She started to swing when her body went numb. She was rooted to the spot, her body feeling as though a thousand ants were making their way across it. Her skin itched and her blood burned and she couldn’t seem to raise her hands to do anything about it. She dropped to the sodden mud, her body alive with pain but unable to move, her eyes unfocused and her heart beating wildly in her chest. The world surrounding her went black as she lay there, trying to understand what was happening. She had a minute to wonder if maybe the storm had really been a sign before she felt hands on the band of her low rise jeans. She tried to scream, knowing there was a chance Spike was out hunting vamps in the cemetwry but she couldn’t get her voice out. The only things that seemed to be working were her brain and her lungs. And I guess my heart, because if it wasn’t working then I’d be dead, right? She had been so busy with trying to analyse what part of her body were working that she failed to notice that she was being divided of her pants and underwear. She came back to what was happening, blind to everything when she heard a strangely distorted voice above her.
“Well, I see we got ourselves a slayer. Boys, we will be famous after this. I’ll be the idol of every demon and vamp in the world for this. A slayer, THE slayer, drugged, raped, tortured AND killed. My name will be whispered in awe and fear.”
The words and the feel of a blade sliding across the skin of her tight had her grasping what was happening. God, please, not this. I’m the slayer, I’m supposed to die preventing an apocalypse or fighting something, not like this, not helpless. Please, I can’t let mom and Dawn down. God, I know I have an expiration date, but not so soon, I’m not ready to die yet. Who will take care of Wills and Xander, and Anya and Tara and Giles? Who will make sure Spike doesn’t do something stupid and gets dusted? If he’s going be dust, I’m the one who should do it, he’s my vampire after all. He’s been helping a lot lately, with the Dracula thing and with Tara ’s family, and with the Dawn-sitting. Lost in terror, she didn’t realize that he was the one she was scared the most about. Some part of her knew that the others would managed but Spike…Stupid vamp. Why is he always around but when I need him to come to the rescue, he’s not? Spike! Get your bleached ass here and help me or I swear I’ll dust you dead! She cried out silently to the missing vampire, while her body was cut, her blood slowly drained out of her body as it was violated repeatedly by a number of faceless bodies. After several long moments, she was left alone, her life slipping away as the priceless slayer blood soaked the earth beneath her, her soul still crying out desesperatly for the one person she knew could save her.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!