Spike ran his hand through his hair and sighed, his flight delayed and his patience gone. This wasn’t where he was supposed to be at 24, he was supposed to be in England, teaching English literature at a university with his degree, a degree that was going to be put to no use for the next year or so because the man who had "replaced" his father but was in no way a father had passed away; had passed away and left him with a mess to clean up in the form of a ranch. The only reason he was going to Sunnydale was because he wasn’t a cruel man by nature and his mother needed him right now, needed his presence and his help since she had broken her leg in the accident that had killed the scum bag driving.
His lip curved up a little bit, it wouldn’t hurt to see Slayer, his all white prize winning Lipizzaner either, how he had missed her these last few years. But he couldn’t take a horse to the city, and he couldn’t stay with that asshole Ethan either. His leaving had only brought good things though, a Harvard degree was no laughing matter and he had met Druscilla…ok, so maybe that hadn’t been a good thing, but he’d lost his virginity so she got a big thumbs up for that, and he hadn’t contracted an std from the vapid she-whore.
He wondered if Fred was still living in the area, and Cordelia and Willow and Xander and Gunn…he winced, he hadn’t called them in ages, the chits’ would be pissed, a few beers and he and the guys would be on the mend no doubt.
He’d left 4 years ago at 20 after finishing college in the small rural town, and he was coming back a man, a part of him wished Ethan was around to see the transformation, if only so he could kick his ass. Another part was relieved that his mom would no longer be blinded by the love she’d somehow felt for that wad of shit.
He snapped out of his reverie and got up with the now standing passengers, their flight finally ready to board and heaved a sigh.
Jenny was bustling around the kitchen, William was due home any moment and she couldn’t contain her excitement. The kettle whistled just as the front door slammed open and closed.
“’Lo?”
“In the kitchen sweetheart” Jenny called, her smile, if possible widening. He walked in and picked her up in a bear hug, mindful of her leg, and gave her a kiss on the forehead before setting her down.
“You look wonderful mum.”
Jenny laughed, “Must be the air out here, keeps me young.”
Spike bit his tongue, not wanting to insult the dead but knowing that the color in her cheeks came from not being tied down to a miserable sod.
“Bollocks mum, it’s all you” he said with a smile and she giggled.
Growing up he and his mother had been close, he would read her his poetry and she would delight him with compliments and cocoa, going on about how lucky some young woman would be when he finally found the one. And of course he would smile and eat it up, a sappy ponce through and through. His father had passed before she’d even given birth to William, but he knew that he was named after him and that he had been a good man. Sometimes when his mother was up for it, she would regale him with tales of his father’s grandiose adventures and he would drink it all in, creating in his mind a world that his father lived in but when Jenny met Ethan everything changed, she changed…and he didn’t know how to forgive her for choosing a monster to share her life.
At first Jenny had just ignored her son’s distaste for the older man in the house, thinking it nothing more than insecurity but as the time slowly passed she realized her son’s animosity towards the man she’d fallen in love with had nothing to do with the immaturity that comes with adolescence. William hated Ethan with every fiber of his being. She’d tried to get her son to open up about it but he’d always remained tight lipped about the situation. If he’d even once told her one of the things Ethan had said, or done, the man would have been out on his ass in two shakes of a tail, but William never talked though she never ceased asking.
She looked at her son pouring the cocoa, going through the cupboards as if he’d never been gone and she smiled to herself, her baby was home.
He placed the two mugs on the table and sat across from her. “So, how you holding up?” he asked with genuine concern.
She shrugged her tiny shoulders, “I’ve been better, but it’s good to have you here. You’ve made an old lady very happy.”
Spike snorted, “You only just turned 40 mum, not old by a long shot.”
“I did didn’t I?” she laughed, “Maybe it’s the loss that makes me feel older…”
In a heart beat he was out of his chair with his arms wrapped around her, “It’ll get better mum, I promise, it’ll get better.” he said soothingly into her hair and she pulled away to get a good look at him.
“I know…now, what the hell were you thinking doing that to your hair?” she asked with a laugh and he shook his head with a grin.
“I was thinking Billy Idol had the right idea.”
“I took the liberty of contacting your old friends, they’ll be here at 7 to pick you up.”
He smiled wide at her, “Thanks, I can’t wait to see everyone again” Spike said honestly.
“You mind if I run out to say hi to Slayer?”
She nodded her head and made a shooing motion with her hands, her eyes twinkling at her son’s excitement.
He all but ran to the corral and whistled loudly. The horses’ ears twitched at the sound and she galloped full speed to the fence, Spike laughing at the show she was putting on, bouncing from one hoof to the next, head held high before she bowed for him.
“Git’ over here you silly bint” he chastised lovingly and in the next moment he had a face full of muzzle which he lovingly patted.
“Good to see you girl, s’been too long.”
“I bet you say that to all the pretty horses” came the sing song voice. His head turned to the right as the girl stepped out of the barn.
“Maybe I do” he laughed and stuck out his hand which she shook with a smile, though he could barely see her for the cowboy hat she wore. “Spike Calendar.”
“I’m Buffy, Buffy Summers.” She tipped her hat back to get a better look at him and smiled when he seemed speechless.
“You…you’re…”
“All grown up? Ya, I hear time does that to people.”
“I didn’t even recognize you Buffy, Christ but you’re a vision.”
She laughed, William “Spike” Calendar, who had never really noticed her, was complimenting her.
“Well, I’m not fat anymore, I grew out my hair and my boobs and got a bit older, but that’s about it.”
He laughed, “So that sums it all up huh? Somehow I doubt that.”
“Well, you really wouldn’t know anyway, would you William?”
He winced, “I never meant to hurt you Buffy.”
She shrugged her now mature shoulders and smiled, “Wasn’t your fault, I was a 13 year old with a crush on a senior, you had no choice.”
Spike did a quick mental calculation, she would be 20 now. He ran a hand through his hair and smiled at an old memory, “Never forgot that kiss tho’ kitten.”
“Well, Spike Calendar, neither did I.” she said with a wink before sashaying to her car and driving away.
***
Spike had just finished mowing the Summer’s lawn when Buffy had brought him a glass of lemonade, he remembered thinking it clichéd but sweet and had thanked her with a million dollar smile. He was aware that she had scooted closer while he drank it on the porch steps and inwardly smiled, she was after all, just a kid with a crush.
“You ever kissed a girl Spike?”
He smiled and nodded his head, “With your tongue?”
At that he had spit out his drink and sprayed the steps with the sticky substance.
“What kind of bloody question is that for a bloody kid to be asking?”
“I’m not a kid” she had pouted and he sighed.
“Look Buffy, you know I think you’re a sweet girl yeah?” she nodded her head, “But that doesn’t make me sweet ON you…you understand what I’m saying?”
“No.”
“You and you’re parents came here from England right?”
He nodded, “Well in England isn’t it ok to date younger girls?”
He laughed at that, “Well yeah sugar, but only once that younger girl is a certain age…know what I mean?”
She furrowed her brow and frowned, “If you like somebody why should age matter?”
“It makes a difference is all, like, would you date an 8 year old?”
“No” she spat out and then the tiniest “oh” came out of her mouth and she looked at him with watery eyes. “I’ll see you later Spike” she said and ran back inside, leaving her drink untouched next to him.
He stood up and sighed, he had the feeling that this wouldn’t be the last time sweet little Buffy Summers would make things awkward.
***
“William?” Jenny called from the porch.
“Coming mum” Spike called back, shaking the memories off with a smile.
Later in the shower he allowed himself to finish reminiscing over the memories that had started to play out that afternoon.
***
It was well past midnight when he’d gotten out of bed, unable to sleep, he’d thrown on a pair of shorts and nothing else and pedaled to the swim hole near the Summers place. He heard the soft sounds of someone crying and was torn between leaving unnoticed or asking the girl, it was a girl of that he was sure, if she was ok. Chivalry won.
“Hey, you ok?” he called out tentatively.
“Go away” came the angry reply and recognition hit him.
“Buffy, that you?”
“I said go away stupid face”
Ya, that was Buffy. He walked over and sat down next to her, “What’s wrong ducks?” he asked gently, rubbing her back a little to try and stop the sobs.
“Mom and Dad got into a fight and I told daddy to leave and he got mad and….”
“Shhh now, take your time.”
“I’m done talking, I came here to swim, that’s what I’m going to do.”
Spike bit back a smile at her authoritative tone, “I came to come swimming too, can I join you?”
She didn’t look at him, chin length hair hiding her face but he could feel her scowl.
“Do whatever you want, but if you get a cramp and drown I’m not helping you.”
“Alright, I’m swimming at my own risk, got it!” he said with a smile.
She jumped right in, shorts and shirt and he did the same, laughing at their antics.
It was when she emerged from the water that had pushed the hair back from her face that he saw the bruise and his heart snapped.
“Did your dad do that?” he asked gently, she bit her lip and nodded her head, the black circling her eye all he could see, that and the pain in the green depths of it.
“FUCK” he roared and got out of the water, punching the tree next to him and splitting his knuckles wide open. When he came down from his rage he noticed Buffy was gone and sat down, thinking about all the ways he was going to murder Hank fucken’ Summers.
About ten minutes later he heard her coming back and turned his head toward her, “Didn’t mean to scare you, m’ sorry I yelled.”
She didn’t say a word but sat down in front of him and pulled a first aid kit out of her bag.
“You didn’t scare me, you could never scare me” she said with a small smile and in that moment Spike wished with everything he was that she could be older.
He realized with a start that she had taken his hand into her lap and began to clean it before softly wrapping it in gauze.
“Thanks.”
She smiled softly in answer.
“I won’t let him do that to you again Buffy, I swear.”
She nodded and his heart ached for how much she trusted everything he said.
“It didn’t hurt.” She lied trying to make him feel better and he fought back tears.
“You know, you don’t act 13, you’re a mature girl Buffy, good things are gonna’ happen for you someday.”
She chose not to answer with words, instead throwing herself into his arms and giving him a fierce hug.
He squeezed her back for a moment, wishing she hadn’t had to suffer through what had happened tonight.
“Spike?”
“Hmmm?”
“Do you think someday you’ll like me too?” she whispered.
“I already like you pet, as a…” before he could add the word friend to his sentence her soft lips were pressed against his in a quick kiss, it lasted all of 5 seconds before he pushed her away gently but firmly once the shock wore off.
“Buffy, you can’t do that, I don’t like you like that. You’re way way too young for me princess.”
The way her eyes watered up broke his heart and the next sentence that came out of his mouth broke her heart, “I don’t love you, I can’t and m’ sorry, but you’ll find a nice young boy your age to hang out with I’m sure.”
She sniffled, “You don’t love me?”
“No, I don’t.”
“And you’re sure?”
“Yes, I am.”
And with that she took off leaving Spike alone with his thoughts, trying to shake off the shiver that her lips pressed against his had caused, she was only a kid for fuck sake! He hated himself in that moment, for hurting her and for wanting another kiss; he hated himself more than anything. But 3 years was too big a gap at that age, a lifetime really.
The next day he had asked Harmony Kendell out and Buffy hadn’t spoken a single word to him since. It had been a catch 22 from the start.
***
At least until today he thought with a smile as the cool water washed over him.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!