This takes place at the end of Fool for Love, but things go very AU. No Harmony, Riley, Joyce isn’t sick, and Buffy also found out about Glory sooner than she did in canon. It’s something I wrote to cure boredom and it ended up being longer than I planned. I told myself that I was done writing multi-chapter stories since it seems no one is interested anymore, but the muse has a mind of its own. It’s still not that long, only about 9 chapters. This is mostly fluff with some angst thrown in. I know it might not seem that way with how it starts out, but there is a method to my madness, and it just wouldn’t be Spuffy without some drama. Anyway, for anyone who is interested, I hope you like it!
Chapter 1
“Beneath her, am I? I’ll bloody show her, bitch will finally be a footnote in history.”
He cocked his rifle, thinking about the look on Buffy’s face when he showed up at her house with the weapon. A house that held her mother and sister, a woman who had been nothing but kind to him, and the Nibblet was the only one in the Slayer’s little group who looked at him like he was worth something. And Buffy, even though he was pissed at her for what she said, he still loved her just as much and could never think about pulling the trigger. “What the fuck am I doing?” Spike didn’t give much thought to his actions, nor did he register the sound of the crypt door opening as he flung the rifle away, shielding his head when it went off. “Bloody smart, you wanker, what kind of moron throws a loaded gun?” he asked himself, noticing a sudden scent of blood in the air. It was familiar blood. Slayer. “Oh no, fuck, no,” Spike claimed in a panic, running over to the doorway to see Buffy lying there motionless, blood soaking through her shirt where she was hit by a stray bullet.
“Buffy!” he yelled, picking her up as he cradled her against his chest. She wasn’t moving, but he could still pick up a faint heartbeat. She didn’t have much time left and he knew that she would never make it to the hospital. “Oh, love, I’m so sorry. You have to stay with me, okay? You can’t let that greedy bitch death win; it’s not your time yet. I don’t care what I said at the Bronze, you hear me? You have to come back for your mum and the bit, they need you. Please, Buffy, don’t do this.” He was openly crying now at the thought of losing her, this was all his bloody fault.
Spike pulled her closer, wiping his eyes of the tears that he shed. “I’m sorry about this, sweetheart. I know it will just make you hate me more, but I can’t be without you.” He bit into his wrist, holding the bloody gash over her mouth and hoping she would take the red liquid inside before time ran out. “You have to drink, pet; I know you can do it.” Spike was about to give up until he felt her lips suck on the wound, sighing in relief as he ran his fingers through her hair. “There you go, just like that. It’ll all be over soon.” He just prayed that when she awoke, she wouldn’t stake him for what he did.
* * * * *
It’s been two days; Spike knew her family and friends would be missing her. They came by to see if he knew where she was, but he had to lie. He wasn’t ready for them to know what he did yet. Spike knew that once the truth came out, everyone would be lining up to kill him. Buffy was the Slayer, and he turned her into the one thing she hated the most. There would be no coming back from that.
He broke out of his reverie when she started to stir; it was hard to imagine that she was now undead. She looked beautiful, so full of life, but her face was now full of ridges, yellow eyes staring at him instead of the green he was so used to. “Hello, cutie,” he said to hopefully break some of the tension.
Buffy glanced around at her surroundings with new eyes, gasping as she touched her face, pricking her finger on a fang in the process. “Oh, God, what did you do to me?”
“I’m sorry, Buffy, I didn’t have another choice. You were dying.”
“Why couldn’t you just let me die?” she cried out, jumping off his bed. “How could you do this? Do you hate me that much?”
He felt tears in his eyes at the look of anguish on her face, noticing that she reverted back to her human guise without even realizing it. “No, I was selfish, only thinking of myself. I just couldn’t lose you. I’m so bloody sorry, Buffy, I never wanted this for you, but at the time I thought it would have been better than the alternative. This way you’re still here, it won’t be so bad. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about being a vampire; you can still see your mates and family. Nothing has to change, except for your diet,” he finished to hopefully lighten the mood.
She shook her head, tears clouding her vision. “Everything will change; I can’t be around my family ever again. My friends will hate me; they’ll try to kill me just to stop me from killing someone else.” As soon as she said that, she felt that something was off. “Why don’t I have an urge to kill anyone?”
“Because you still have your soul, Slayers keep their souls when they’re turned. That’s why no vampire is ever stupid enough to turn a Slayer; they know the first act would be her killing her sire.”
“You knew that, and you still risked turning me?” Buffy wondered in confusion, but felt relieved to know that she wouldn’t be going on any killing sprees.
Spike graced her with a sad smile. “I was willing to take that chance, I couldn’t let you go. Why were you even here? After the night we had, I didn’t expect you to come back.”
“I felt guilty for what I said and came here to apologize, but now I wish I didn’t. I guess it was my own fault for just barging in like I owned the place. I don’t even want to know why you had a gun; I could guess what your intention was. I suppose I should say mission accomplished.”
“No, don’t say that, this is not what I bloody wanted. I never wanted you to be like me, you shouldn’t have to be stuck in the dark,” he explained.
“It doesn’t matter now. I have to get home; you’ll want to stay away from me for a while. I just need time to think, I’ll come back when I’m ready. Whether I like it or not, you’re my sire and I’m going to need you. As much as it pains me to admit, but I can’t be around you right now.”
He nodded in understanding. “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
Buffy nodded as well, heading up the ladder and out of the crypt, wondering what she would tell everyone when she returned home.
* * * * *
She knocked on the front door of her house, feeling like a stranger. It was hard to keep the tears in when her mother opened the door.
“Sweetie, what’s wrong? Did you forget your key? Is that blood on your shirt? Were you hurt during patrol? We’ve all been worried about you.”
Buffy shook her head at all of the questions. “You’ll have to invite me in.” Joyce’s face turned pale at that implication and Buffy felt her heart break, even if it was no longer beating. “Please, don’t be afraid of me. I won’t hurt you.”
Joyce could tell that she was sincere, no matter what; Buffy would always be her daughter. “You can come in.”
Once Buffy crossed the threshold, she burst into tears and threw herself in her mother’s arms. “I’m so sorry, Mommy. Don’t hate me, please, don’t hate me.”
Joyce cried right along with her, holding her little girl tighter as she closed the door. “It’s okay, honey, I could never hate you. Everything’s going to be okay,” she whispered, but at that point, she didn’t even think Buffy heard her through the sobs.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!