He was going to do it. This time he was going to stop being a complete pussy and ask the girl to the bloody dance. They were friends, sort of. She probably wouldn’t even think anything of it. At worst she’d say no and he’d have to play it off like it didn’t matter. He could do that. He’d been doing it for two years.
Except that wasn’t really the worst that could happen, was it? No. Not the worst thing. The real worst thing would be her finally seeing the truth and looking at him like he was a complete and total idiot. Which he was, he had to be, since only a complete fool would spend two years trying to find the words to tell a girl that he liked her. Or loved her. Love was closer to the truth than like was, obsession was probably even more accurate but it held implications and insinuations that he didn’t like.
William wasn’t a stalker. He wasn’t. He just liked watching her. She was beautiful and interesting. Her eyes were green and big and reminded him of the princesses in animated movies and her hair was the color of the champagne he’d drank at his cousin’s wedding and seemed to be moving all the time. He hadn’t realized a real girl could look like that before he met her. He wanted to worship her or at least make her smile. And he wanted to touch her. God, he wanted to touch her. Of course he took pictures sometimes. He also took pictures of clouds and the marks that autumn leaves left on the sidewalk after a rainstorm. The pictures weren’t creepy. She even knew about most of them.
He walked over to her locker and stood quietly behind her while she chatted with a couple of girlfriends. No one acknowledged him.
When they finished talking and the other girls had flitted off, Buffy turned and gave him a quick smile. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
“Are you going home right away?”
William nodded. As always, he gave a quick and silent thank you to the powers that be for letting him live next door to Buffy Summers. It was his in. He was the boy next door, always around when she needed a hand with something or wanted a ride to school. “Yeah, did you want a ride? I mean, I could hang for a little while if you need to do something first.” He groaned inwardly. He was supposed to play it cool, make her ask for the ride and then say yes, like he was the one doing the favor. He was not supposed to fall at her feet and beg for the privilege of driving her home. Some days he really couldn’t stand himself.
Buffy was staring down the hallway at a group of students fooling around with a football. William followed her gaze and frowned. Why didn’t anyone stop them? They could easily break the glass of the trophy display case. But he knew the answer. Jock kids always got away with stuff normal people couldn’t do. If he started throwing things in the hallway he’d be pulled into the office in a second and lectured about the importance of a clean record and how everyone knew he was going to attend a good college and shouldn’t do anything that might put his scholarships at risk. It was totally unfair. He looked back down at Buffy. She was smiling like she thought it was great that the buffoons were rough-housing near the trophy case. He wondered if she even knew that the chess team had a trophy in that case.
He sighed. “Look, are you going home?”
“Oh. Yeah. That’d be great.” She smiled at him again.
William felt his cheeks heat up and he quickly looked away. If she ever stopped smiling at him, he might stand a chance of moving on.
He waited until they were nearly at his car before bringing it up. “So, I guess there’s a dance this Friday.”
She smiled broadly. “Yeah. Are you going to go?”
“Umm…” He froze for a second. He’d imagined a dozen scenarios, but not this one. “I don’t know. I mean maybe. Are you…has someone asked you?” His heart was beating too fast. Once before a big test he’d had a panic attack and the guidance counselor made him breath into a paper bag to calm down. This felt worse. It occurred to him that he might die. Asking Buffy Summers to a bloody high school dance might actually kill him. He wondered how anyone could be so dysfunctional.
Buffy laughed. “No. Of course not.”
His brow furrowed and he frowned. “What?”
“William, it’s a Sadie Hawkins dance.”
“Right. So?” He unlocked and opened the passenger side door.
She ducked under his arm to get in. “Girls have to do the asking.”
He scowled as he closed the door and walked around the car. “Why?” He sat down and turned to frown at her.
“It’s a thing.”
“A dumb thing.”
She frowned. “No, it’s not. It’s kind of…it’s supposed to be like empowering, you know, for girls. I guess it is a little old fashioned now. Girls ask guys out all the time now, right?”
“They do?” He looked skeptical.
“Sure.”
He started the car. “Do you?” He chewed on his lip and forced his eyes on the parking lot.
“I haven’t, but I could. I’m going to, actually.”
“Oh.” He focused on her words. She was going to. As in she would in the future, so she hadn’t yet. He still couldn’t catch his breath. He pulled out of the parking space and carefully maneuvered through the lot and on to the road.
“Look, you’re a guy, right?”
“Had all the right parts in the shower this morning.”
“Eww…William!” She swatted at his shoulder. “Way too much information.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t say I did anything. I just—you asked a stupid question.”
She sighed. “Never mind. I forgot that you could be such a jerk.” She turned to look out the window.
After a few moments he groaned. “I’m sorry. Okay? I’m just tired or something.”
Buffy didn’t say anything for a few minutes. She sighed. “I’m going to ask Liam O’Brian, you know, Angel. Do you think he’ll go with me?”
William suddenly realized why Buffy had been watching the ruckus in the hallway earlier. Liam O’Brian, nicknamed “Angel” for being the saving grace of Sunnydale High’s notoriously bad football team had been the one showing off with the ball. His grasp on the steering wheel tightened until his knuckles were white. “You…like him?” He tried to sound casual but ended up sounding sort of surprised and confused. He hoped that was better than the actual mixture of repulsion and horror he actually felt.
“Well, yeah. That’s why I want to ask him.” She laughed softly.
“Why?”
Buffy turned and gave him a strange look. “You know. He’s cool and handsome and nice and stuff.”
“Right. So, you’ve talked to him?”
“Yeah.”
“Like actual conversations?”
She frowned. “Why are you being like this?”
“I’m just asking. What do you even know about him?”
She blushed. “I know plenty. He plays football and he’s really good. And he umm…he’s…sometimes when he talks he’s got an accent-‘cause his parents are from Ireland- which is really cool and—”
“He was born in California!” Since when did Buffy think having an accent was cool? When he’d first moved from London two years ago, she’d said he talked funny and that he should learn to speak English.
“I know that.”
“So you know that it isn’t even a real accent?”
“Yes it is.”
“Bollocks! He’s only doing it to impress stupid girls.”
“How would you know anything? You’ve probably never even talked to him.” She glared at him briefly before turning to look out the window. “I’m not stupid.”
“I didn’t say you were.”
“Yeah…you did.”
“I didn’t mean…I just meant that was the type of girl who…not you.” He was pretty sure that his life was going to start flashing before his eyes at any moment.
“Whatever. If you don’t think he’ll go with me just say that.”
“That’s not what I said. I…I just don’t know why you’d want to go with him anyway.”
Buffy looked at him like he was crazy. “He was Homecoming King last year when he was only a junior. That’s like…unheard of.”
“Fine.” He’d never been so happy to pull on to their street. Usually he wanted to drag out the trip home as long as possible, today it was torture.
“Did he like tease you or something? I’m sure he was just kidding.”
“No. Why would you even say that?” He had. But that wasn’t the point at all.
Buffy shrugged. “I don’t understand why you’re getting all upset.”
“I’m not.”
She sighed and unbuckled her seat belt before he even reached her house. “Fine.”
He stopped the car and watched sullenly as she quickly jumped out and mumbled her thanks for the ride. He didn’t say good-bye.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!