Chapter 1

“I know you’re there.”

He stepped out from the shadows, gracing her with a friendly smile. “You can sense me now, can you?”

She smiled as well. “You missed my mother again.”

He shook his head. “You know she wouldn’t like me being here.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “I’m nineteen, yet she still treats me like a child. She thinks you’re trying to corrupt me with all your devil worship.”

Spike chuckled. “I bring a book to read to you that’s not exactly the bible, and she thinks I’m Satan. Someone should tell that woman it’s the twenty first century.”

The room grew quiet, until she glanced into his clear blue eyes. “I know what you are. Why do you keep hiding yourself from me? You’ve been coming here for weeks now; I thought you would have trusted me more.”

“I would rather you not see that part of myself. In fact, I should let you rest.” He headed to the doorway, stopping at her voice.

“I’m ready to be like you.”

Spike turned back to her, shaking his head. “You don’t know what you want.”

“Isn’t that for me to decide?” she wondered, taking in a deep breath. “I’m tired of being coddled by my mother and her beliefs. She’s kidding herself if she thinks I’m just going to suddenly get better. No matter how many times she brings our family priest here to pray for me, it won’t work. We both know there’s only one thing that will.”

“Please, love; you don’t know what you’re asking of me,” he pleaded.

“Then why do you keep coming here if not to help me? I’m not afraid anymore, but I don’t want to die. Not like this. Do you know that my brain will be the first thing to go? They tell me that I won’t even remember who I am, or who anyone around me is. My body will give out, and I won’t be able to hardly lift a finger. I’ll be a vegetable, and I can’t go out like that. I won’t.” Tears flowed down her face, but she quickly wiped them away.

Spike sat at her bedside, taking her shaking hand in his. “If you do this, you won’t remember yourself either way. The demon fully takes over; all you’ll want to do is kill everyone who had any impact in your human life. I don’t think you’re ready for that.” His face shifted then, so the vampire was staring back at her. “This is what you will become. You’ll live an eternity watching everyone around you grow old and die. You will be completely isolated, alone for the rest of your days. I wouldn’t wish that existence on my worst enemy. I’ve lived a long bloody time, Buffy, done things to innocent people that I can never take back.”

She shook her head. “But you’re not like that anymore, right? You could teach me, I know you wouldn’t let me hurt anyone.”

He gave it some thought, turning away from her. “I’ll be back in one week. If you still wish for this when I return, I’ll do it for you, but you need to think this through more. Once the transformation happens, there is no way to reverse it.”

Buffy nodded. “Waiting a week won’t change my mind, but I’ll do it. I think you’re the one who’s not ready.”

It amazed Spike by how much she already knew him in just a few short weeks. With one last nod, he left her room and took off into the night, thinking about how his unlife had changed. He first came to the hospital over a month ago to stock up on blood once his supply ran out; Spike overheard the doctors talking to a sobbing mother about how the cancer was slowly eating away at her daughter. So young, just recently out of high school, they had no hope that she would recover. He peeked in on the sleeping girl, and was taken away by her beauty. He hadn’t felt anything like that in many years.

Everything changed in that moment, Spike knew that he had to be there for her, anyway he could. At first she didn’t think he was real, just a figment of her imagination. He knew it was dangerous, getting close to a woman that was so near to death. He could smell it on her; she most likely only had a few months left. Spike couldn’t help but wonder that if the cancer was found sooner, she might have had more of a chance, but there was no point in dwelling on that.

He arrived at his crypt twenty minutes later, taking his leather duster off and placing it carefully on his chair.

“You were at the hospital again, weren’t you?”

Spike shrugged, taking a drink from his flask. “What’s it to you?”

“Bloody hell, mate, you reek of sickness. When are you going to stop doing this to yourself?”

“And just what is it that you think I’m doing, Charles?” he retorted. “You’ve been my best mate for a century. I’m glad you’ve decided to stick with me for this long, but I don’t need a lecture right now.”

Charles rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a bloody sod, William; you need to let this girl go. You don’t want history to repeat itself, do you? It’ll be Alona all over again, and need I remind you that I warned you about her as well? You never bloody listen to me. I know you cared for her, but you can’t forget about what happened. You turned her into a demon, just like the rest of us. She got away and went on a killing rampage, which didn’t help us keep a low profile and we had to find another scene. I know it still hurts that you had to stake her, but you made the right choice in the end. I just can’t see you go through something like that again. You hardly know this girl, and the time you’ve spent with her has only been in some infirmary. It shouldn’t be hard to walk away.”

Spike gave a sad smile. “It’s a little too late for that.”

With the look in his friend’s eyes, it was very clear to Charles why. “Bollocks, you’ve gone and fallen for her already, haven’t you? I can’t bloody take you anywhere.”

“I didn’t plan on it, and this time it’s different. Buffy asked to be turned; it won’t be forced on her like Alona. I can keep a close eye on her, she even asked me to guide her through it. Now that I know what to expect, we’ll have better precautions this time, but I need you with me. I’ve given her one more week to think it over, but if she still asks this of me when the time comes, I’m going to do it. I can’t watch her suffer in that prison any longer.”

Charles let out a sigh, but knew there was no chance he would ever turn his back on a friend, especially not one who was always there for him. “I hope you’re right about this.”

Spike had to agree. Once the week was up, there would be no going back.