Chapter 2.
Messy goodbyes.
It had been three weeks, three long and agonizing weeks since that night. It had been the most amazing night of Buffy’s life. The hard part was figuring out if Spike felt anything towards her. Was making love with him all one big mistake? Was she just another notch on his belt? Or was she just convenient?
Buffy had tried her hardest to act normal around Spike, to pretend that nothing had happened between them, that nothing had changed in their relationship.
But her attempts had been in vain. Something had happened, things had changed. It wasn’t something Buffy was just going to be able to forget and move past.
She was in love with Spike and a small part of her almost hated him for what had happened.
How could he do that?
He was her best friend. He’d given her the most amazing night of her life, made her think he had felt the same way that she did.
But he didn’t. Her dreams of them ever becoming a couple had shattered the moment he had walked out that door.
Buffy had replayed that morning over and over in her head thinking of all the different ways it could have gone. She could have confessed to Spike how in love with him she was. Spike would have confessed to feeling the same and they’d fall back into bed and make love for hours.
It was nothing more than a dream. A foolish dream in which Buffy was reminded of over and over again.
Drusilla had been spending almost every night at their apartment, silently mocking her. She would look at Buffy, stare at her as if she knew what had happened between them. It shook Buffy to the core and only forced her to snap herself out of her fantasy world.
She came home most nights to see Dru and Spike wrapped up in each other’s arms, kissing and pronouncing their love for each other. There was only so much of their affections towards each other she could handle and it had become to much.
Buffy needed a break. Not just from Spike but from Sunnydale as well. She’d been talking to her cousin Faith, for weeks about the situation and Faith had suggested on more than one occasion that she should come and stay with her in New York, where Faith attended university. Faith had lost her mother just over a year ago. A drunk driver had failed to stop at a red light and had run head on into her car.. Faith still wasn’t coping well.
Buffy unlocked the door to the apartment, silently praying that Dru wasn’t inside, she needed to talk to Spike privately. Dru’s car hadn’t been parked out the front and that was always a good sign. Buffy closed the front door behind her and placed her keys and bag on the kitchen table that sat to her left. She almost jumped out of her skin when Spike came out of the hallway.
“Hey,” Buffy said, quickly collecting herself together.
“Hey, luv. I didn’t think you were home tonight?”
“Well, I thought I’d spend the night in. I-I haven’t seen you much in the last couple of weeks since…” Buffy trailed off. “I thought we could hang out? There’s actually something I need to talk to you about.”
Buffy suddenly became very nervous.
“I really need to talk to you about something too. B-but you go first,” Spike stammered.
“You remember my cousin Faith, the one who lives in New York?” At Spike’s nod Buffy continued. “Well her mom passed away a year ago…”
“She was hit by a drunk driver wasn’t she?”
“Yeah….” Buffy sighed. “Faith’s been having a hard time dealing with everything and she’s…. she’s asked me to come stay with her for a while.”
Spike couldn’t breathe. Was this Buffy’s way of telling him she was leaving Sunnydale?
No. He was wrong, he must have misheard her. Buffy would never leave him.
“What? Did…did you tell her you have school and friends here?”
“She really needs my help,” Buffy sighed, running a hand through her hair.
“You’re going aren’t you?” Spike’s features saddened. “You’re going to New York?”
“Yes.” Buffy stated simply, not meeting his eyes.
“But… but just for a few weeks right? Then you’ll be back?” Spike stammered, hoping, praying that she would say yes.
“I’ve transferred to New York University. I’m,” Buffy met his eyes briefly. “I’m going to live there permanently, with Faith.”
“You’re leaving me?” Spike said, sounding almost like a wounded lover.
“I’m not leaving you, Spike. I’m leaving Sunnydale.” Buffy said trying to sound convincing. “NYU has some really great courses. Courses that UC Sunnydale can’t offer me. This could be a really great opportunity for me. I might never get this chance again,” she tried to explain.
“Is this about what happened between us?” Spike snapped. Buffy felt her cheeks flush at the mention of their one and only night together. They hadn’t spoken a word about that night, not since he’d walked out their front door and into Dru’s arms.
“What? No?” Buffy exclaimed, her voice rising in a defensive tone.
“You’ve have been avoiding me ever since that night…”
“Not everything is about you, Spike! I have other people in my life that I need to think about too. People I care about. People who need me…” Buffy was getting madder and madder by the minute. All the hurt, humiliation and pain of that night was boiling to the surface and threatening to spill out.
“I have a life outside this house you know,” she glared. “And Faith asked me to come to New York weeks ago. I’ve been making arrangements for a while now. S-seeing if I could transfer to NYU, looking for a job there, packing…”
“Packing? I haven’t seen you packing, luv.”
“That’s because you’re rarely ever here!” Buffy yelled, eyes narrowing. “You’re to busy chasing after your precious Dru,” she hissed.
“It is about what happened between us? You’re angry and jealous that I took Dru back.”
“Get over yourself, Spike.” Buffy folded her arms across her chest. “It’s not like the events of that night were earth shattering. You know what? Yeah, I am a little annoyed. Not because we slept together but because she cheated on you.” Buffy raised her arms in frustration. “She treated you like a fool. Dumped you like a piece of rubbish is thrown in a bin and you know what the real kicker is…you took her back.” Buffy laughed, meeting Spikes eyes. “She couldn’t care less if you lived or died. You’re just…. Convenient.”
Buffy knew by the look on Spike’s face that what she was saying was beyond hurtful but it was time he knew the truth about his precious Drusilla. It was cruel to think it but there was small part of her that wanted to hurt him.
A part of her felt bad for saying such cruel and hurtful words to Spike but the other part was glad she was finally doing it. It was time he realized what Dru really was and how little she actually cared for him.
With a sigh Buffy picked up her bag and keys off of the table.
“I leave tomorrow morning,” she whispered, slowly walking past Spike.
“What? I don’t underst-…H-how can you just up and leave like this?” Spike whispered, shaking his head in disbelief.
“It’s for the best.”
“Is that what you think? Telling me lies about Dru. Is that you doing what’s best too?”
“You know what,” Buffy growled, frustrated. “You’re precious Dru has slept with more than half of the school’s male population and that’s only counting the people since you’ve been dating her. She’s a whore. The sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be, William.” Buffy spat.
“Well I’d rather be with a whore like her then be sleeping with a geek like you,” Spike growled, glaring at Buffy.
Buffy’s hand left her side before she could even register what she was doing. She slapped him hard across the face, fighting back the tears the threatened to fall.
“You made that very clear weeks ago,” she whispered, hurt. She turned and stormed out the front door.
“Buffy… Buffy, please wait!” Spike yelled, his pleas fell on deaf ears as she slammed the door behind her.
“Oh bullocks,” he whispered.
Why had he reacted so badly? What had he done? He'd just pushed his best friend, someone he deeply cared for away.
She'd be back.
Buffy wouldn't stay away from him for that long. They'd get over their fight and make up, be best friends again.
But why did it hurt so much? It shouldn't be hurting like this.
Spike slid onto the couch, eyes wide. He cared for Buffy, she was his best friend and had been for years but a part of him had shattered when she had announced she was leaving. He had a girlfriend. Drusilla was his dark goddess, she wouldn't betray him would she?
Buffy's words flooded his mind.
“You’re precious Dru has slept with more than half of the school’s male population and that’s only counting the people since you’ve been dating her. She’s a whore. The sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be, William.”
Realizing he'd just lost his best friend, Spike wept, wept like he hadn't cried in years.
It shouldn't be hurting this much.
Why did it hurt so much?
'You're in love with her you stupid git,' his mind screamed, furious that he'd been so blind.
"Oh God!"
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!