January 23, 2006
Spike walked into the roadside dinner, hand in hand with Harmony, his girlfriend de jour. She was blonde and brainless, and yet fragile and weak. She was nothing like the woman he'd loved years ago, and Spike liked it that way. She was predictable and she could make him smile, and while Spike knew that she was only with him for his fame, it didn't really bother him.
"I don't understand why we couldn't have just stopped to eat in L.A." Harmony pouted. "I mean, you're a world famous writer, shouldn't we be eating like you are." She glanced around the small diner disapprovingly.
Spike sighed. "Because you git, I don't wanna get stuck in traffic. And because I like roadside food. Grease, it's what America was founded on." H paused looking around for a moment. “Besides, Thus far I’m only really popular in America, England, Germany and Japan.”
Harmony gave Spike a disgusted look. "Didn’t they build America on dirt? Hellooo."
Spike rolled his eyes. *dumb little chit* he thought to himself, before a waitress came to show them to their booth. He sat across from Harmony and they both looked down at their menus. Everything looked delectable, and Spike realized how truly hungry he was. He'd spent all day in L.A. talking with a producer who'd read a couple of his books and wanted to turn they into a movie. The idea of seeing his thoughts, time and effort, vomited onto the big screen, with the role of Joan his wise cracking beautiful Vampire huntress played by some Harmony clone made his whole body want to convulse, but his publisher said it was worth the meeting. The studio had offered to let him write the script, and it was willing to negotiate with him on how much input he got to provide, still Spike was unsure.
"Blondie bear, there isn't a thing on here that's diet! Or vegetarian!" Harmony whined. "You know I can't eat any of this! Can't we just go back to your place and order take out?! We're only an hour away."
Spike groaned as he looked into her pleading face. Her perfectly siliconed lips were pushed into a pout. "Fine." He said, throwing his menu down. "But I'm getting something to go then."
"Goodie!" Harmony clapped, wiggling contentedly in her seat.
"Listen, I've got to hit the pisser, before we go, so when the waitress gets back order me some chicken and biscuits to go, okay?" He said standing.
"Whatever you say my little Blondie Bear." Harmony cooed in reply.
Spike sighed and headed into the washroom. When he got there, he leaned on the sink and gave himself a good long look in the mirror. "You look right tired, you dumb git." He said to himself: And he was. It seemed like life had been going on at an achingly slow pace lately, and everything was the same. He was writing the same stories, watching the same movies, seeing the same cookie-cutter woman, and it was exhausting him. He turned the cold water on, dipped his hands in, then splashed his face. It woke him up a little, shook his from his stupor, and he laughed at himself, as he pushed his processed blonde locks back, keeping them slicked to his head. "Why did you even bother stopping?" He asked himself. He had known Harmony wouldn't let him eat here. But something about the place had drawn him in. He laughed again. *Well, at least I got to see something other than road.* He thought before drying his hands on a paper towel and then stepping out of the men’s room.
As he neared his table though, something caught his eye: not something, but rather, someone. It was her.
Spike rubbed his eyes, as if they were playing tricks on him and he could simply wipe her image away. When he opened them again, she was still there. A little thinner, blonder, a little more frazzled and infinitely more beautiful than she had been the day she'd left him. The name tag pinned to her red and white checkered uniform read "Anne", but Spike was no fool. He would be able to recognize Buffy if he were blind and deaf. Love, even if it was forgotten or deserted, recognized love, and he loved Buffy: more than he could stand at times. Which was why, when he saw her, his heart nearly leapt from his chest, and his breath caught in his throat.
*Of course* He thought. *The moment I stop looking, is the moment I find her.* He reached instinctively for the worn and faded post-it, tucked safely inside his wallet, and wondered what he should do. He'd dreamed of the moment when they were finally reunited. He would run up to her and wrap his arms around her. She would kiss him, as tears began to fall, and she would say how sorry she was for leaving him, and how much she regretted losing the life that could have been. Spike new that this would never happen though. Truth be told she had left him, destroyed their unborn child, for whatever reason, and never looked back. Six years of silence, with only a feeble goodbye scrawled on a faded yellow post-it note to comfort him: "I'll miss you." It had read. He chuckled to himself, pulling the piece of paper out of its usual place and stared at it for the millionth time. "You didn't miss me, did you love?" He asked it, speaking softly so as not to draw her attention. Now that he had her here in front of him, the paper seemed to mock him, and without thinking he crumpled it up and tossed it onto a dirty table, and walked out of the dinner in agony and disgust.
He walked straight to his car, threw open the passenger’s side door and began rummaging through his glove box for his pack of emergency cigarettes. He’d quit 6 years ago when he’d heard they news that he was going to be a father. He’d wanted to grow up, and be more mature for his future son or daughter, and after Buffy had left, he’d held on to the hope that she’d be back. “Well sod her!” Spike yelled, biting back the well of emotions that were pouring through him. He ripped open the plastic wrap and pulled the cigarette from its packaging. With a flick of his wrist, his lucky zippo was out of his pockets and had spouted a flame, and without a second thought, Spike lit the cigarette and took his first drag in six years. He leaned back against his black mustang and let his lungs adjust to the familiar burn, his hands crossed defensively against his chest. “Who sodding needs her and her stupid…” Spike trailed off, and realized tears had pooled in his eyes. He quickly wiped them away and took another drag from his cigarette, not knowing what else to do.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!