Response to BloodShedVerse Challenge #286. Only requirements are to have smut, wackiness, and spuffy=P
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“Look out below!”
Spike glanced up in time to see about 500 hundred slayers drop on their heads from the buildings above. He grinned as Buffy landed directly in front of him. “Miss me, Blondie?” Spike just rolled his eyes and the two of them moved as one to defeat the demons hording into the alley at a breakneck speed – for a turtle.
“Honestly, if we’re going to get attacked by hundreds of demons sent by the bloody Senior Partners, you’d think they would chose actual superhuman demons that knew how to fight.” As Spike said this, he killed three more and was working on his 4th.
Buffy laughed, “Aww but who wants to fight hundreds of demons that can actually fight back? Tends to up the ante of death, and right now, I just want to go home. No, not home, the Slayer Academy.” As she moved in to stand directly behind Spike, both of them working on two demons at once, a smile lit her features and an idea sparkled into her hazel eyes. “You guys should come! All of you! Well… those of you that are left anyway.” As she was fighting, she had only noticed Spike, Angel, Illyria, and Gunn who had fallen just as they got there.
Spike returned the smile sadly, feeling the pain of losing his friends but putting it out of his mind for the time being and attacking the hordes with renewed strength.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Andrew had hot chocolate and bandages waiting when the girls walked into the Hyperion, accompanied by two badly beaten vampires and what looked to be the demon-form of some Queen by the way she was carrying herself. Andrew’s eyes had gone wide in shock when he took in Spike’s broken arm and the huge slice cutting his stomach open. Ignoring everyone else, Andrew moved swiftly to take care of his vampiric hero.
“Ah, Buffy, I see you’ve survived. Along with almost all of our Slayers, excellent.” Giles came down the stairs, silently counting how many had survived and how many bodies would be needed to be found, or memorialized.
Buffy rolled her eyes, tossing her long golden hair. “Duh, Giles! They were the easiest demons in the world to beat. But lucky Angel got to defeat the dragon.”
Hearing his name, Angel raised his eyes and grinned, “Don’t feel so bad. Three of your girls had to run in and help me.”
Spike smirked, “That’s cause you’re getting weak in your old age.”
“Actually, it’s because dragons are huge fire breathing creatures with the ability to fly.”
Everyone’s eyes shot to the door at the new voice entering their midst. Only Buffy and Angel’s eyes seem to darken at the bowler hat wearing man with the fashion sense of a fruit fly.
“Hello, Whistler.”
“Hey, Kid!” Whistler said to Buffy happily. “Wow, been awhile since I helped you with that whole apocalypse thing.”
Buffy glared, “You told me to kill him. I don’t see how that helped matters.”
Whistler turned in a wide circle, arms outstretched, “World’s still here isn’t it?” Buffy looked away, knowing it was true. Whistler grabbed a cup of hot cocoa, and then smirked, “So you all survived another one, huh? Good for you.” Plopping down on the couch, Whistler surveyed the damage everyone was enduring in the room. Waving his hands, everyone was suddenly blemish free and able to stand up straight without wincing. “It wouldn’t do to have you all half-dead when you go on vacation.”
“Vacation?”
Whistler turned his gaze to the mousy haired boy currently attending Spike’s wounds. “Andrew, right?” He ignored the boy’s surprise at him knowing his name, and just grinned, “Yes vacation. I figured you all earned it, and so did those pesky Powers, so voila! Instant vacation.” Buffy looked about ready to protest so he snapped his fingers before she even had a chance to say ‘but’.
*SNAP!*
* * * * * * * * * * * *
With a groan, everyone fell forward onto the hot sand of a beach. Standing up, they noticed they were wearing beach clothes and had bags beside them, containing what looked to be their luggage.
“AWW!!! Bloody fuckin’ hell!”
Buffy glanced over and burst out laughing as the two vampires began running around in circles, waving their hands in the air to fend off the menacing sun. Or… wait a minute.
Spike stopped at the same moment Angel did and both of them stared at the other. “You Shanshu’d?” they asked at the same time. “No,” came their simultaneous reply. Then staring at the other, their heads turned at one and both yelled, “BUFFY!”
Rolling her eyes at the immature vampires she walked over and placed one hand on both of their chests. “Nope, neither is human. So my guess is we aren’t in Kansas anymore, Toto.” Turning back to everyone, the scenery hit her like a brick rock. Staring slightly, everyone followed her gaze into the forest behind them. The bright pink forest.
Every single tree was pink and orange. The grass was blood red, and the rocks were all as blue as Earth’s sky. Looking up the sky turned out to be a lime green, and the ocean was as clear as glass. It made it easier to see the creatures swimming around. They looked like normal Earth animals, except for odd fins and weird tentacles. Plus every single one of them was odd colors like orange, pink, and green.
“Definitely not in Kansas!”
Buffy glanced up and a huge grin broke her face when Willow, Dawn, Faith and Wood came running down the beach to meet them. Enveloping Dawn in a hug the girls fell to the sand, which was purple, laughing. Breaking away Buffy looked down at her bikini top and sarong, and realized with a giggle her hair was pinned back with barrettes and she had flowers in it. “It’s like some sort of alternate realty Hawaii!”
When all the hugs and kisses had been given out, Buffy looked around her. “Where’s Xander?”
Willow smiled, “He opted to stay at the mansion. Which is actually the size of the friggin' Burj al-Arab!” Buffy’s eyes grew wide, thinking of the largest hotel in the world. “Anyway he took our bags to our rooms. And all our rooms have our names on the door, and there was a roster inside the main doors that said the floor and number of everyone’s room. This was apparently well thought out. Any idea how we suddenly ended up here?”
Giles stepped up, “Some demon named Whistler said the Powers are giving us a vacation. I take it this would be the vacation.”
Willow just grinned, “Just you wait and see. This vacation holds quite a many surprises.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Standing outside the mansion everyone was craning their neck up. It wasn’t as big as the Burj al-Arab like Willow said, but at probably about 25 floors, it was tall enough to make Buffy’s neck hurt looking up.
Willow just grinned at their reactions and even Faith was grinning in anticipation. “C’mon B! Shake some tail!” Buffy looked down to see everyone was waiting for her to get over her original shock. Shaking her head sheepishly she followed everyone in.
And promptly stopped dead in her tracks.
“What the hell?” She whispered, taking in the cheery faces of not only Xander like she had expected, but hanging off him was Anya, and Willow was joining hands with Tara, and standing a little ways off was Joyce and Jenny. Then turning her head, Wesley and Fred came into view, with Gunn standing beside them grinning. “You’re all dead.”
Joyce smiled at her daughters antics, “This is heaven, sweetie. We can be whatever we want to be here. But yes, technically we are all dead.”
Looking around with panicked eyes, Buffy took in all of her slayers, Giles, and everyone else. “Are we all dead too?”
Jenny’s laughter joined Joyce’s, “No, Buffy. You’re on vacation right now. A vacation from life, so to speak.” Still at their blank looks, she rolled her eyes toward Joyce who joined in with the younger girl’s amusement. “You did good, so the Powers rewarded you with heaven for the time being. You can stay here for three weeks, and then it’s back to the real world. Although no time will have passed down there.”
Giles suddenly came rushing forward and hugged Jenny close to him, “No, it’s not bloody fair! Why re-unite us with the ones we want the most in the world only to steal them away about three lousy weeks?”
Jenny’s eyes shone with tears as they meet Giles’ and her hand went to cup his cheek. “Don’t worry, it’ll all be okay. You have to let the three weeks play out though, not let those three weeks pass you by.” Leaning forward, she captured his lips in hers and they shared the most gentlest kiss either of them could remember having. “I missed you so much.”
Giles’ hands tightened, “I missed you too, Jenny.”
Buffy wiped the flood of tears off her face, but they didn’t stop coming. Coming up behind her, Spike wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear, “I missed you too, kitten.”
Buffy tilted her head to smile at him and caught his lips in a kiss.
Angel chose that moment to growl. “That’s all well and good, everyone, but how come you all got to come back and she didn’t?”
Wesley grinned and pretended to look curious, “She who?”
Angel’s growl rose in volume, “You know exactly who.”
“Me who?” A voice said from behind him.
Angel spun around and smiled, “Hey Cordy.”
“Hey Champ,” and that’s all they got out before their lips meshed together in a desperate kiss.
Dawn rolled her eyes, “Okay everyone better stop kissing before this entire thing becomes an orgy. Can we please just go find our rooms and get settled in?” Everyone was more than eager.
A/N – Yeah, I know, it’s odd. But I liked the idea and decided to run with it. For future clearance, since I don’t like her, Kennedy died. I don’t know how, I don’t care how, but she’s dead. And since Tara came back to Willow, Kennedy stayed away – awkwardness and whatnot. The original challenge said ‘one weekend vacation’ but it wasn’t a must have I don’t think and one weekend wouldn’t be enough. So I lengthened it=P
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!