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Authors Chapter Notes:
Okay, this is going to be an angsty fic. Spike, Buffy and Xander are the main characters. Xander seems to be rather not a nice guy in this one, so keep that in mind.


Chapter 1:

Buffy Summers-Pratt was having a quiet night in. Her husband was out of town on a ‘business meeting.’ Buffy was getting some well deserved R and R. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. She frowned, looking at her watch. It was 10.15.

Whom could that be?

She tiptoed to the door, then looked through the peephole. The boyishly handsome face of Xander Harris peered back at her. Her husband’s friend and boss and all around good guy. In fact, over the last couple of years, he and Buffy had become fast friends as well.

She unlatched the door to find him looking a bit haggard. His usually well combed hair was unruly and he his shirt and tie were undone.
“Hey Buff,” he said, waving a folder at her. “Can I come in?”
“Of course,” she said, stepping aside.
“Are you okay?”

“We need to talk,” Xander said, walking into her living room.
“About what? Buffy said, her eyes knitted with a frown. She did not like the grim sound of his voice.
“Spike,” Xander said, looking down at the floor.

William?

“Spike isn’t…” Buffy began, but Xander cut her off.
“Here…I know. That’s why I’m here.”

She folded her arms over her chest.
“What is this about?” she asked, her voice anxious.
Xander swallowed, then gave the file to her.
She opened it, leafing through the pages.
“I don’t…….”

“Spike’s been stealing,” Xander said simply, sitting down on the couch.
“From the firm.”

Buffy’s felt her heart drop.

“No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “No.”
“He wouldn’t,” Buffy said frantically. “He couldn’t.”

“Has Spike been…..acting any differently?” Xander asked softly.
Buffy’s eyes widened. Spike had been awfully quiet lately. As if something was bothering him. She’d tried to talk to him about it, but he just waved her away.

“Why would he do this?” Xander asked his eyes filled with pain. “I mean, he made two-hundred thousand dollars last year. Why would he do this?”
Buffy felt her heart rip.

Oh no. Oh please no.

Her mother’s gallery had suffered heavy losses over the last year. Buffy had taken over after her mother’s death. The first year had been an unmitigated disaster. Buffy had even considered selling it off, but Spike had talked her out of it.

“We’ll manage,” he had sworn.
“But the money,” Buffy protested.
“I can get money,” Spike had chuckled which had caused her to roll her eyes.
“How?”
“I steal from the rich and I….”
“Give to the poor?”
“Sod the poor,” he growled, winking at her, which made her laugh.
“I keep it all.”

At the time, she’d thought nothing of it. But now…..

“Buffy,” Xander said. “I have to let Spike go. I just have to.….”
She nodded her head, numb with grief and anger.
“You should call a lawyer,” Xander said sympathetically, breaking through her fog.
“What?……” Buffy said, still unable to comprehend his words.
“The cops Buffy,” Xander said, as if he were dealing with a small child.
“They’re going to want to investigate.”

“You’d…..you’d do that?” Buffy whispered.
“You’d do that to us? To your friends?”
“What choice do I have?” Xander said, unable to meet her eyes.

“Don’t,” Buffy said, sitting down next to him, touching him on the arm.
“Please. I’m begging you. We’ll be ruined.”
“Buffy,” Xander protested.
“Please Xan,” she begged in desperation. “Please.”

He loosened his tie, tossing it aside. “I guess I could leave the cops out of this,” he said, finally.

Buffy felt relief flood through her.
“I could convince the senior partners not to press charges. Let Spike resign quietly and pay back the money.”

“Xander….” she said effusively, “I don’t know how to…..”
“But I need a reason,” he said, looking up at her, his voice low and and his eyes strangely intense.

“You need to give me a reason not to.”

Buffy withdrew her hand, as if she had felt a shock. Her heart began to race.

What does he mean….

“Xander?” she asked, her eyes questioning him.
“I need a reason Buff,” Xander said, his eyes flickering to her lips.
“A reason not to.”

“I don’t under…..”
“Yes you do,” Xander cut her off, touching her on the leg, his hand gently squeezing her thigh, making her suck in breath.

She looked at his hand, her eyes as wide as saucers.

“You want your husband not to rot in jail for the next ten years,” Xander said, his voice soft.
“And I…..want you.”

“You want me?” Buffy echoed, her head dizzy and her mouth incredibly dry.

“You know I do,” Xander said, his voice heating up, his hand squeezing her leg.
“I’ve wanted you since the day we met.”

“I….I…….” Buffy stuttered, moving away.
“Don’t deny it,” Xander said harshly.
“We both know it’s true.”

That forced her to think about it. How she’d tumbled into his arms the first time he’d arrived at the gallery.
“Can I have you?” he’d asked.
She’d laughed and held up her ring.
“Married. Sorry.”

She’d seen the flicker of disappointment in his eyes, but to his credit he’d recovered well enough. They’d had a good laugh after they’d discovered he was her husband’s boss. They’d become close friends as well, laughed
and flirted and hung out. More than once she’d noticed him notice her, but had dismissed it with a knowing smile. Looking back, Buffy realized that she always knew that he wanted her. She’d just never given it any real thought.

“I can’t,” she whispered, her eyes pleading with him.
“We can’t. I love my husband. I can’t betray him.”
“Love me tonight,” Xander said, taking her hand.
“And you’ll still have a husband to love tomorrow.”

Buffy slapped him. Hard. She gasped at the pain she felt in her hand and at what she’d done. She almost apologized to him before she remembered what he was asking of her.

“Get out,” she said, the thought now making her shiver with rage. The nerve of him. Coming here and expecting her to….
“No,” he said simply.
“No?” Buffy said, her eyes flashing with rage.
“Are you going to rape me or something?”
“Never,” he said, genuinely shocked. At least he pretended to be.
“I’d never hurt you.”

“Leave,” she insisted.
“Please.”

“I wanna make love to you,” Xander said.
“With you.”
Buffy felt her knees shake.
Make love? To me? With me?

“Not a chance,” Buffy said, outraged.
“Spike stole two million dollars,” Xander said.
“That’s ten years. Without parole.”
That deflated her. Ten years? Ten fucking years? She couldn’t bear the thought of him being away for ten days, let alone ten years.
Her eyes filled with tears.

Spike….you stupid, proud ass.

And then he’d be out, a voice whispered. Without a license. Without being able to do the only thing he’d ever loved. And then what? And then what’s left?

She looked at Xander then. He was looking up at her with his soft brown eyes.

Would it be so bad?

The fact that she’d even considered it shocked her to her very core. She’d never have thought herself capable of even considering it. But then, she’d never have thought Spike capable of stealing. And she was desperate.

No. No. I can’t. We can fight this. We can fight this…

“Be with me,” Xander said, extending his hand.
“Be with me tonight and this all goes away. I promise.”

Buffy looked at his hand. Her heart wasn’t racing anymore, it was about to burst from her chest.

No. No. No. You don’t have to.

“Spike doesn’t have to go to jail,” Xander said, his voice soft and soothing.
“I can help you. If you’d only let me.”

Buffy looked at him, for the longest time.
“If….if we do this,” she stammered, unable to believe her own ears.
What am I saying?

“Buffy,” he whispered, his eyes lighting up with joy. He came forward,attempting to take her into his arms. Her hand shot out, restraining him.

“IF….we….do….this……” she said, making it amply clear that this was far from a done deal.
“Everything goes away,” Xander said.
“I promise.”
“Which means?” she said, pulling away. She needed some distance between them.

Xander sighed. “I let Spike resign. Quietly. Spike finds a new job. He pays us back. With interest. Thirteen percent. No cops.”

“And I’m supposed to what….just trust you on that?” she said, scowling.
“Being the boss has its perks,” he shrugged, almost shyly.

“So you could help us?” Buffy asked, her eyes wide.
“Without…..”
She couldn’t even bring herself to say it.
Us sleeping together.

“My ass would be on the line,” Xander said, trying to make her understand the gravity of it all. “My reputation at the firm. My career, if I’m ever found out. I could lose everything if I’m caught covering this up. God knows the senior partners wouldn’t lift a finger. I might even
end up sharing a cell with your husband.”

She stared at him, unable to comprehend him.
“Then why would….?”
“For you,” he said simply.
For me?

“I’m not worth….” she said frantically.
“You are,” Xander said, “you are to me.”

Suddenly she had a thought. If Xander was so infatuated with her, then chances are he was lying to get her into bed. This whole thing could be a con.

“I need to talk to Spike,” she said, thinking quickly as righteous anger rose within her.
His face fell. “You think I’m making this up?”
“No,” she blurted out, eager not to offend him. On the off chance that what he was saying was true, she’d need him.
“I just….need to…..hear him say it.”

He folded his arms, his eyes darkened. Buffy felt hope flare in her heart.

“Just once,” she said. Xander picked up the phone,
dialled Spike’s number.
“Go ahead,” he said. The flare died. Instantly.
“You didn’t hear this from me,” Xander said, sitting down on the sofa, rubbing his hands through his hair.

Buffy held the phone to her ear, letting it ring.
“Hello love,” she heard a voice say suddenly. “Miss me?”
“Will,” she said, her voice shaking.
“What is it?” he said, his voice filling with concern.
“Is it true?”
“Is what true love?”

She could barely bring herself to ask.
“Two million dollars,” she said.
Silence. She could hear him suck in a breath.
“Who told you?” he said, after a long pause. He voice sounded miserable.
“Anya,” she replied, looking at Xander, her voice quaking.
“Yeah,” he said finally. “It’s true.”
The pain in his voice was an arrow through her heart.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Buffy whispered.
“Baby, I wanted to,” Spike said, his voice breaking. “But…”
Buffy didn’t want to hear anymore. She threw the phone into the wall, shattering it.

“I’m sorry,” Xander said tenderly.
“No you’re not,” Buffy snapped.
“You’re not sorry at all.”

“I am,” Xander insisted. “I’m sorry for you.”
“Me?” Buffy said.


“You don’t deserve Spike,” he said, shaking his head.
“You deserve….”
“You?” Buffy mocked, “Prince fuck me or I’ll send your husband to jail charming.”

For the first time this evening, Xander’s face hardened.
“It’s your choice,” he said casually. “One night with me, or ten years alone. Fifteen if the prosecutor wants to make a point.”
She looked at him with disdain she had to work hard to disguise.

Her eyes flashed, then faded.
God help me.

“Okay,” she said softly.
“Is that a yes?” Xander asked, unable to believe his ears.
Buffy felt the air go out of her. She was too tired to argue anymore. She just wanted it over with. So she could forget.

“Yes,” she said, to the empty room. Xander stood, then closed the distance between them, intending to take her into his arms.
“Wait,” she said. He looked at her expectantly.
“Promise me,” she said, biting her lip. “Promise you’ll…..help. After…..tonight.”
She knew how damn naive she sounded. He was trying to get her into her pants. Of course he’d say yes. He’d promise her the sun, the moon, the earth and all the stars in the universe. And then….

“I promise,” Xander said as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. Buffy looked into his eyes, trying to determine if he was lying. They were earnest brown and shining with something she couldn’t
quite comprehend. It distressed her. She could understand lust. Disgusting as his actions were, she could understand lust. But lo….

No. No. He doesn’t love me. If he really loved me he’d never do this.

“Rules,” she said suddenly, as if she remembered. He raised a brow.
“We need….to….set…. ground rules,” she faltered.
“Just one rule,” Xander declared, in a tone that brooked no argument.
“Tonight I get to have you. All of you.”

As if to make his point, his hand slid down from her waist to cup her bottom, squeezing it possessively. Buffy gasped at how casually forward he seemed. But he wasn’t done talking.

“Everything I want,” he said. “Everywhere I want. And as many times as I want.”
He squeezed her ass again and again and again, as he made his demands, making her nostrils flare.
Mine, his eyes seemed to say.
Tonight, you’re all mine.

That wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. She was hoping for a quickie in the dark after which he’d get the hell out. She thought to protest, but he cut her off.

“And tomorrow, you get everything you want,” he whispered. And then they just stared at each other, knowing that this was it. The point of no return.

Yes or No?


Buffy put her hands on his hands, which were firmly on her ass. She enjoyed the bitter disappointment that flashed in his eyes when she pushed them off her.

How do you like them apples?
“Okay,” Xander said dangerously, turning to go. “Jail it is.” “Wait,” Buffy said, after he’d taken two steps away, her voice faltering. Xander looked back to see a pained, angry look cross Buffy’s face. And then she was stepping back into the shadows. Xander waited two beats then followed. He saw her standing by the bedroom door, facing him, her face obscured by darkness. She looked his way for a long time before she stepped inside. Leaving the door open. Xander’s lips curved upwards as he stepped forward, running his hand across the face of the door, then closed it behind them.


Chapter End Notes:
So, tell me what you guys think? Just don't get too personal. LOL.




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