I fall to pieces
Each time I see you again
I fall to pieces
How can I be just your friend?
You want me to act like we've never kissed
You want me to forget (to forget)
Pretend we never met (never met)
And I've tried and I've tried
But I haven't yet
You walk by and I fall to pieces.
I fall to pieces
Each time someone speaks your name
I fall to pieces
Time only adds to the flame.
You tell me to find someone else to love
Someone who'll love me too (love me too)
The way you used to do (used to do)
But each time I go out with someone new
You walk by and I fall to pieces.
You walk by and I fall to pieces...
Buffy watched him walk away, hot salty tears slowly rolling down her face, turning to gut wrenching sobs the further away from her house he got. She fell to her knees ‘I can’t breathe. I feel like I can’t breathe.’
&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&
“I've been thinking... about our future. And the more I do, the more I feel like us, you and me being together, is unfair to you.
You deserve more. You deserve something outside of darkness. You should be with someone who can take you into the light. Someone who can make love to you.”
“I don't care about that.” Buffy replied angrily.
“You will. And children.” Angel sighed. ‘Does she think this is easy for me?’
“Children? Can you say jumping the gun? I killed my goldfish.”
“Today. But you have no idea how fast it goes, Buffy. Before you know it, you'll want it all, a normal life.”
“I'll never have a normal life.”
“I'm sorry. Buffy, you know how much I love you. It kills me to say this.”
“Then don't. Who are you to tell me what's right for me? You think I haven't thought about this?”
“Have you, have you thought about it rationally? Have you thought about what our future would really be like?”
“No. No, of course not. I'm just some swoony little schoolgirl, right?” She rolled her eyes in frustration.
“Don't.” He held up a hand, turning slightly to save himself the pain of seeing her tears.
“Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you.”
“I don't.”
“You don't want to be with me? I can't believe you're breaking up with me.”
The heartbreaking conversation she had with Angel kept playing over and over in her head. Drying the fresh tears the memories brought she grabbed her slaying bag. Throwing it over her shoulder she made her way out into the night.
‘Who the hell does he think he is not giving me any choice in the matter? How could he just walk away if he loved me so much?’ She had gotten past the tears and bitterness, now came the anger.
‘I need to meet a guy and flaunt him in front of Angel so he realizes how wrong he was and wants me back.’ Now that she had a plan she was feeling a little better. ‘Not much out tonight.’ She realized with a hint of bitterness. ‘Great. When I need something to take my frustrations out on there’s nothing around.’
Suddenly she felt the tingle that signalled vampire. She glanced around and saw him. He was crawling out of a grave. Not in the mood for her usual banter she punched and kicked until he was just a writhing bloody moaning mass of flesh huddled on the ground.
Realizing what she had done filled her with horror and she quickly dusted him.
&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&
“That's my gem.” Spike growled softly pointing to the ring adorning her perfectly manicured finger.
“Fine…take it if that’s all that matters to you.” Harmony cried yanking the ring from her finger and throwing it at him.
“Gonna go find me the slayer.” Spike almost purred. He placed the ring on his finger humming softly to himself.
&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&
“Nice to meet you. I’m Buffy.” She said introducing herself to the cute guy that may just have Angel running back to Sunnydale to declare his undying love.
“Parker…” He smiled extending his hand. They talked for a few minutes until Parker glanced towards the school. “Oh…there’s my girlfriend…I’ve gotta go before she gets seriously pissed…see you around Buffy…”
Buffy smiled back. “See ya…” When he was out of her line of sight Buffy’s smile turned to a scowl. ‘Asshole had a girlfriend. How the hell am I supposed to meet a guy to make Angel jealous when they all have girlfriends?’ She was so in to her inner rant that she didn’t notice the bleached blonde vampire coming up behind her.
“Birds singing, squirrels making lots of rotten little squirrels. Sun beaming down in a nice, non-fatal way. It's very exciting, I can't wait to see if I freckle.” Spike said conversationally, sexy smirk in place.
“How?” Turning around to see him. She stared unbelievingly at the sight of Spike standing in the sun. ‘How can he be here standing in direct sunlight and not burning to a crisp?’
He took a step closer; Buffy grabbed her stake and moved towards him, dropping her books and bag on the ground. She punched him hard, he punched her back. She flew a few feet and landed on the ground. He tried to jump on her; she kicked him back and got herself into a fighting stance again. He staggered, but jumped forward again, Her stake embedding itself in his chest where his heart should be.
“Oh, do it again. It tickles. You know, in a good way.” He smirked.
Buffy withdrew the stake and the wound that should have dusted him healed over quickly, she stared at him in shock, her eyes wide, mouth hanging open.
“The gem of amara.” He grinned taking a step closer to her. He held up his hand so she could see the ring, and then backhanded her. She hit the ground again. “Official sponsor, of my kicking your pretty arse.”
Buffy looked up at him from her position on the ground, noticing for the first time the huge bulge in his jeans. “You’re getting off on this…” She retorted disgustedly.
“Oh no luv…not getting off, just love the rush of fighting you…you’re so powerful and sexy, can’t help my manly bits taking notice…can’t blame a bloke for noticing the way you move…the way you smell…the way the sun makes you glow…”
“You…you’re attracted to me?” She asked uncertainly. Her heart rate increased, blood pumping faster. ‘Perfect. This is perfect… there is no one Angel wouldn’t want me with more than Spike.’
“Have to be blind not to be luv…you may be the Slayer, but you are one sexy creature…can appreciate that. Always thought you were sexy since the first time I saw you dancing in the Bronze.”
‘He has? Is that why he’s never really tried to kill me?’ Suddenly she was on her feet lunging for him. Instead of punching him as he was expecting she grabbed him by the lapels of his duster and pulled him close. Her mouth collided with his and she kissed him roughly, tongue demanding entrance into his mouth.
His arms wound around her and pulled her closer, she could feel his hardness pressed up against her stomach. “What the bloody hell…” Spike said pulling back and searching her face.
“I…I’m sorry…I just…it’s been so long since anyone’s touched me…” She said softly, taking a few steps back. ‘Come on Spike…I need you to want this…I need him back…being with you would absolutely ensure it.’
“Has it now?” He smirked. “Betcha I could make you shiver deliciously…” His tongue curled behind his teeth and he looked her up and down.
“Could you? Could you make it good for me? Angel couldn’t even make me cum.” Looking innocently at him Buffy grinned inwardly. ‘Kay big with the lying but that’s gonna do it. Spike can’t back away from a challenge. Especially where Angel’s concerned.’
“Come on.” He grabbed her hand pulling her along behind him. Her belongings, forgotten on the ground, she followed him willingly. “If this is some kind of trick slayer I swear…”
“No…no trick Spike. I really do want you… I know you can smell me…can’t you tell?” She asked. She watched him. He half turned, her hand still clenched in his and inhaled deeply. Obviously satisfied with the scent he picked up he flashed her a predatory grin and pulled her along beside him once again.
‘He doesn’t need to know that fighting always makes me horny and hungry. I’ll just let him think that it was him. All him.’ She glanced over at him. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” He glanced over at her. ‘This is wrong. This is so bloody wrong. I know it. But I can’t help myself. Angel couldn’t satisfy his one true love I sure as bloody hell will and rub it deliciously in his face.’ His grin grew.
&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&
“The mansion? You brought me to Angels’ mansion?” She asked unbelievingly.
“Wot of it Slayer? There are some really nice furnishings here…would you rather go to my crypt? My bed’s not as cozy as this.”
“Oh. Didn’t think of that and it’s not like I could take you to my house either…or my dorm room. Willow would totally get the wiggins, then she’d tell Xander and Giles…” She frowned worry etching itself onto her face.
“You sure you want to do this Slayer?” Spike dropped her hand to let them into the house.
“Wh…what do you mean?” She asked suddenly nervous. Her heart was hammering in her chest her breath coming a little faster, and yet she followed him inside.
“Just a question Luv. Giving you one chance to change your mind.”
“Spike…I…I want to do this I just…no biting ok? Please?” She cringed. ‘Ok now I sound like a scared little girl.’
“No biting.” Spike repeated. “I’m a vampire Luv. T’s what I do…”
“I know but…I…” Spike silenced her with a kiss. His body moulding against hers, arms snaking around her body to draw her closer.
Buffy moaned into the kiss. She could feel herself getting wetter. ‘Just from a kiss?’ She asked herself. She felt him undoing the buttons on the front of her shirt. Her hands went to his shirt and un-tucked it from his jeans. Her fingers took on a mind of their own, trailing under his shirt to touch his cool flesh.
Spike growled low in his throat at the feel of her warm hands dancing across his skin. He finished unbuttoning her shirt and pushed it off of her shoulders. Hands winding around her back he quickly dispatched her bra. He could feel her heat pressing into him, warming him.
Buffy pushed his duster off of his shoulders and let it fall to the floor behind him. She tugged impatiently at his shirt trying to pull it off. Spike backed up a step and helped her pull the constricting garment off. He reached down and adjusted the painful hardness in his jeans.
He turned hungry eyes to her exposed flesh. Taking in the sight of her small pert breasts he licked his lips hungrily. Leaning forward he captured one rosy tip in his mouth. Buffy arched into him and moaned. He brought one hand up to the other breast and massaged it gently, rolling her nipple between his skilled fingers.
Buffy was trembling with desire. Her fingers threaded into his hair, holding him against her chest.
Spike chucked low in his throat. He glanced up at her. “Greedy little minx aren’t you?” He asked.
Buffy met his eyes, her own glazed over with lust. “Don’t stop. Why are you stopping?” She asked.
“Just want to move us to a bed luv. I’ve got plans for you…not gonna stop…” Spike scooped her up and carried her into the closest bedroom. Laying her gently on the bed he couldn’t take his eyes off of her naked flesh. ‘God she’s beautiful.’
Becoming self-conscious under his unwavering gaze Buffy started to bring her hands towards her breasts. Brought out of his daze by her movement Spike reached for her hands stilling them at her sides. “Don’t cover yourself Luv. Just want to get a look-see, never seen anything so beautiful.” He ran a finger slowly over the tan lines on her chest.
Buffy blushed down to her roots, her eyes strayed to his chest and absorbed the sight of his perfectly chiselled alabaster skin. ‘Wow. Didn’t know he was hiding a body like that under all that leather.’
Spike crawled onto the bed with her and lay down beside her. Not saying a word his hand reached out to cup her breast firmly, he leaned forward and flicked his tongue over her sensitized flesh. Buffy hissed in response, back arching off the bed to bring her chest closer to his mouth.
Spike’s other hand slipped underneath her, drawing her closer. His mouth moved down her body, licking and nipping at her skin.
Buffy let out an involuntary shudder of pleasure she felt his mouth press a soft chaste kiss to her stomach. His hands were already at the zipper of her jeans. He popped the button and unzipped her slowly. Buffy closed her eyes and gave over to the sensations he was creating in her body.
Suddenly his mouth was gone. She opened her eyes. He was pulling off her socks and shoes. Buffy watched him. He was concentrating on the task, not watching her face. He looked up when he was finished and noticed her eyes on him. Going back to his task of removing her clothing Spike gently tugged her jeans down her hips and leaving only her pink lace panties on.
Buffy arched her hips off of the bed to make it easier on him to remove her jeans. She continued to watch him the lust in his eyes was making her wetter by the second. Spike tossed her jeans in a heap on the floor. Picking up one foot he placed a chaste kiss on the inside of her ankle. His eyes met hers briefly before he continued. He placed wet open-mouthed kisses in two-inch intervals up her leg, finishing each kiss with a gentle swipe of his tongue.
When his lips reached the halfway point on her thigh he looked up into her eyes. He watched her face as he inhaled deeply.
She watched his eyes flicker from the most intense blue she had ever seen to yellow and back again. “Your smell…god Buffy it’s driving me wild.” He growled softly. His mouth descended on her flesh again, this time starting on the other thigh and moving his way downward.
‘He called me Buffy…’ She closed her eyes again.
Spike gently pushed her thighs apart. Leaning down he buried his nose in her panty-covered centre and inhaled deeply. One of his arms snaked around her waist and pulled her closer to him, arching her back off of the bed. Spike’s hands moved in search of the ties on the sides of her panties. He tugged gently, revealing her nakedness to him. His calloused thumbs parted her moist centre.
Buffy lay there flushed with embarrassment as he parted her folds. Embarrassment soon turned to desire when his tongue invaded her slippery folds. “Ohhhh”
“Like that do you kitten?” He inquired, taking the opportunity to slip a couple of fingers into her heated passage. She was panting softly. Spike curled his fingers, reaching deeply inside her he flicked his tongue expertly against her clit over and over until he had her writhing beneath him.
Buffy felt it building. She could feel her muscles clenching in anticipation of release. Her hips moved slowly, uncertainly against his skilled mouth and fingers. “Uhh…oh god…yessssss”
Spike quickened his ministrations. He knew she was close. ‘Tastes so bloody good. Can’t wait to have her wrapped around my cock squirmin’ like she is…’ Her hips were moving faster. Growling softly he felt her cum.
Buffy screamed and thrashed wildly as a powerful orgasm overtook her senses. He kept licking and sucking gently until she slowly came back to herself.
She lay there contentedly. Spike withdrew his fingers and slowly licked her cum from them, savouring the taste.
He undid his jeans and pulled them down his legs while he toed off his boots. Sliding the jeans the rest of the way off he left them piled on the floor. Crawling up her body he only stopped to place gentle kisses on her flushed skin. “Love the way you taste…” He murmured positioning himself between her parted thighs his cock mere inches from her soaked core.
Buffy’s bleary eyes opened and locked with his. “Wow…I…just wow…”
“That was just the beginning luv. I plan on pleasuring you for a long long time…” He purred. Leaning down he kissed her tenderly, his hand cupping her breast and massaging it softly.
“Can I…” She blushed hotly. “I want to…” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘Just say it.’ She opened her eyes again. “I want you in my mouth…”
“Yeah?” It was Spike’s turn to pant. She grinned, knowing he didn’t even need to breathe. She pushed against his shoulder gently. Spike rolled over onto his back. Her eyes widened in surprise. ‘He is huge.’
Buffy took him in her hand; stroking him gently. “Harder luv…please…” He begged rocking his hips in time with her hand.
Buffy’s hand tightened slightly and she began stroke him faster. She glanced down at his cock again, licking her lips in anticipation she leaned in and swiped her tongue along the weeping tip.
Spike let out a cry of pleasure, his hips shooting off of the bed caused him to be sucked further into her mouth. Buffy moved her mouth up and down his length taking in as much as she could. She could feel saliva running down her hand as she continued to stroke him.
One of Spike’s hands found it’s way into her hair and stroked it in time with her sucking. “Love to watch you suck me off…” He moaned
Buffy’s eyes flicked to his face. She pulled her mouth away for a second. “Am I doing it right?” She asked.
“Mmhmm doin’ great luv.” Spike said rocking his hips in time with the hand still attached to his cock. Buffy’s lips once again wrapped around his cock. Her free hand rested gently on his stomach.
She felt the fingers of Spike’s free hand trying to get a grip on the hand she was resting against his stomach. She moved it slightly and he entwined his fingers with hers. ‘He’s holding me hand?’
“Buffy…luv…gotta stop…” He said softly.
“Did I do something wrong?” Blushing she glanced up at his face. His eyes were shut tightly and his face was contorted. ‘He looks like he’s in pain.’
“No luv. I just don’t want to…you’re gonna make me cum if you keep doing what you’re doing…” He sat up a little, stopping the stoking of her hand. “I want…I need to be inside you…been dreaming about it luv…please…”
She could see the desire…the hunger in his eyes. Buffy was overwhelmed with the expression in his eyes. ‘He’s been dreaming about me?’
Spike leaned forward and cupped her cheek in his palm. He brought his mouth to hers and kissed her hungrily. His tongue sought entrance into her mouth, Buffy readily let him in, her arms entangling around his neck. Spike leaned her back on the bed, keeping his eyes locked with hers.
She felt his cock brush against her thigh and Buffy moaned. Positioning himself between her parted thighs Spike rubbed the head of his cock slowly against her slick pussy, building the tension in her body. She felt him slowly slide into her slick passage and she closed her eyes.
Spike stopped moving and waited for her to open her eyes. “I want to look into your eyes luv.” He murmured starting to push forward once again.
Buffy kept her eyes on his and raised her hips towards him. Spike moaned in pleasure. He pressed his pelvis against hers and started to rock his hips gently. One hand came up and cupped the side of her face. He leaned forward and kissed her softly.
Buffy opened her mouth and allowed him access. His tongue swirled around, rubbing against hers. She moaned in pleasure, her hips meeting his rhythm. Spreading her legs further allowed him to move closer. He kissed along her jaw line, taking her earlobe in his mouth he purred softly into her ear. She felt shockwaves of pleasure rip through her body. “Ohhhhh…Spike…” She whispered, arching her hips faster.
Spike buried his face in her neck panting heavily as he tried to restrain himself. He wanted to make her cum before he would allow himself release.
Buffy felt chills racing up and down her spine at allowing him to be so close to her neck. She dismissed it as she felt his hand slip between their bodies. She shuddered as he spread her nether lips and crushed his pelvis against hers again.
She screamed in pleasure when she felt him connect directly with her clit. She was writhing in pleasure. Lifting her legs with her hands she felt him deeper inside of her than she believed was possible.
“Oh…Buffy…yeah…oh god…gonna cum baby…gonna cum inside you…” Spike moaned into her ear.
His words, the cool whispers against her overheated flesh sent Buffy over the edge crashing into bliss. She saw stars she came so hard. Her breath was coming in gasps. Spike stiffened above her and she felt his cool seed let loose inside of her as he came with a roar of pleasure. Her walls clenched tightly around him. ‘That was amazing.’
“You’ve spoiled me for other women now luv I didn’t know lovemaking could be so intense.” He said softly. He kissed her ear gently. Rolling onto the bed beside her, his arm shot out and grabbed her around the waist. He pulled her against him, her back to his front. Placing one arm over her stomach he tightened his grip. Cuddling into her He buried his nose in her hair. She felt tears come to her eyes.
“Spike?” She whispered.
“Shhh luv. Get some sleep. I’m not nearly done with you yet.” He murmured.
&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&
Willow ran back to the dorm as soon as she saw Buffy’s things lying on the ground. “I’m positive she didn’t show up for class today Giles… and I found her books and her bag on the ground outside the main building.” Willow said gripping the phone tightly.
“Do we have any idea what could have happened to her?” Giles asked replacing the glasses on his face.
“I don’t know Giles. She wouldn’t just leave her stuff on the ground like that…are we sure Faith is still in a coma?” Willow asked nervously chewing on her bottom lip.
“Yes. I called the hospital as soon as I got off of the phone with you this afternoon…I also checked with Joyce. She hasn’t seen Buffy today.”
&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&.&
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!