Love’s a funny thing, isn’t it? Love is the one emotion a person fights for, yet against. Seeks, yet hides from. Admits to, yet denies. Love makes you strong, yet weak at the same time. Some give it freely. Others hold on tightly to this intricate and potent emotion, keeping it from the world, guarding it within self-made, symbolic walls of stone and steel. They never allow another person to pass into this well-guarded realm.
My Slayer…wait-- she’s not really mine. Not truly, she would never let that happen. See, I’m her dirty little secret. She comes to me in the dead of night craving what only I can give—an escape.
She doesn’t think I see, that I don’t understand, but I do. I know this desire to escape all too well. During my human life, I longed for an escape. I longed to be released from the hindrances of society’s rules, and their judgmental stares and cruel words. Then, in one glorious moment, I was saved. I was shown there is so much more beyond mediocrity and this mortal coil.
Now, it’s my turn to be the one who saves. Save her from her calling. From her leech-like friends that suck the life from her and from all the memories of her past which cause her pain. Even save her from the ever-present memories of the heaven she was torn from.
That is why night after night my body is a blank canvas for her to mar. Her fists bruise my flesh. Her teeth and nails score and mark my skin. Each blissful blow and slash releases my blood into small rivulets to travel over battered confines. Her hateful words rip into my heart deeper than any stake could ever go.
She craves what my mouth, cock, and hands can create—pleasure from pain. She deems me the professor and her my pupil—yet, she is the one who controls every lesson. Despite my extensive knowledge on this subject, I could never teach another that type of unbridled passion and insatiable hunger. It’s innate.
In my hundred plus years, I’ve taken part in almost every depravity known to man. I’ve gorged myself on rivers of blood. I’ve created nightmares and stolen dreams. Instilled fear in the brave, silenced the boisterous, and tainted the pure.
I’ve felt rage, delight, lust, passion, hunger and a thousand forms of those above, but in all that time, I’ve never experienced the one emotion that is her constant companion—self-loathing. I guess it’s a soul thing, bloody glad mine’s long gone.
She demands the demon that dwells inside of me, and its nature to create this blissful combination she craves. Yet, in the same moment, she loathes that it exists. She loathes that the demon, and only the demon, is what makes her to cry out in sheer ecstasy as another mind-shattering orgasm causes her cunt or ass to violently clamp onto my cock, fingers, or whatever else I’ve shoved inside.
“You’re a vampire!” she constantly screams; all the while, hate lacing her words and contorting her features. The way venom drips from these words it is as if being a vampire is something to be ashamed of. I’m not, nor will I ever be. She knows what I am. Yet she comes to me all the same. I’m not the one who doesn’t know their place in this world. I know who I am, but the question is, does she?
When all is quiet, like it is now, my mind starts to churn. Questions are raised, which I answer, but I’m not the one that needs to. I try to drown them away in bottles of Jack, yet they remain.
Why does she hate this escape I give her? Is it that she knows I’m the only one who truly understands the torrent of emotions inside her? Why does she fear the darkness, when she is made for this world? How can she deny the primal force inside screaming out for its release and for its equal match that is me?
I believe I’ve finally found a way to defeat this mighty Slayer. I remember years ago Angelus saying, “To kill this girl, you have to love her.” I guess that bleedin’ git was right, for once in his god-forsaken life. I do love her, and with this love, I could destroy her.
It’s strange, at one time, with this knowledge on how to defeat my third Slayer, I would have instantly used this advantage, exposing this weakness of hers and used it against her. In the end, which would be hers, I would take her life. Fulfilling the death wish she so craved.
But here I am, even though I know her Achilles heel, I will never use it. I’ve gone soft, but the kicker is, I would never hurt this girl, even though night after night she destroys me slowly.
She demands my body, but never wants me. Not my mind. Not the tender words I long to say or the brimming feelings of devotion and love, I want to show her. None of the true me is welcomed here.
The moment she begins to feel anything beyond the pounding of her flesh, she runs away. Despite how real she feels under my hands and mouth, she is but a mere shell of whom she used to be. I know the longer I let her feed from me; I will soon be as hollow and empty as she. The funny thing is I don’t care. Not when being inside her feels so glorious, yet at the same time painful, as she devours another piece of me.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!