Having been intimately familiar with the variety of supernatural occurrences the world had to offer, he couldn't say this surprised him too much. He lived on the hellmouth. Of course he was going to wake up in a woman's body one day.
He sat up in bed and let the covers fall to his strangely empty lap. A quick brush of the hand confirmed that his hair was still short. He definitely had tits, though.
They weren't Harmony-size. In fact, they were more comparable to Buffy's tiny mounds. Spike palmed one and squeezed. It was like a bag of pudding stuck to his chest.
Looking down further revealed that, indeed, he had a pussy where his dick had been. The snatch was neatly trimmed as his pubes had been previously, but his legs were unshaven. It seemed like his previous grooming had carried over to the new body.
He wondered if Willow had something to do with this. The way that girl had been working the magics, he wouldn't put it past her to flip the genders of everyone in Sunnydale.
That'd be a laugh to watch. The entire city swapped around. In a panic.
Spike got out of bed and fetched his jeans. They were a couple inches too long for him, but he rolled up the cuffs. He also had to cinch the belt several notches to account for his new hips and waist. He pulled a t-shirt on and shrugged into his jacket. Dusk should be coming around soon, so he could go out and see what chaos Willow had wrought. Maybe even check on Buffy.
He ascending to the upper level of his crypt with a cigarette danging from his lips. As he did so, his crypt door banged open and a man entered.
The scene was familiar as Buffy's, though she'd definitely gone through her own transformation. Her hair remained long, and she'd pulled it back into a low ponytail. She looked to be slightly taller than him. Short for a bloke. If he had to guess, he'd say that she was wearing some of Xander's clothes. They were about three or four sizes too large, though, and the baggy look hid her new, masculine figure. She had a five o'clock shadow, and she looked righteously pissed.
She stopped when she saw him, looking like she'd been hit by a fire axe.
"You too?" Her voice was lower in pitch, though still high for a man. Man or woman, she remained Buffy.
"Just us?" Spike asked. He exhaled cigarette smoke through the air towards her.
Buffy nodded. "Those stupid nerds - we think they did something to me. Well, us. We don't know what or why or how, but..." She trailed off. Then she gave a moan of frustration and sat on his ratty sofa, facing away from him.
Spike walked over. He laid a tentative hand on her shoulder. "No big deal, pet. We'll get it sorted."
"This is just awful! I have a penis! Spike, I have a penis! And it just hangs there and gets in the way and sometimes it gets smushed and I have to adjust and I think Anya was giving me the eye which is all wrong. Why are they doing this to me? And why did they do it to you?"
"Who knows why those losers do anything?" Spike attempted to sound comforting, though he was distracted by the smell of Buffy. She'd used her regular girly shampoo and body wash. From his angle above her, he could see down her shirt to the smooth expanse of her chest.
Buffy closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the top of the sofa. "We should go back to the others and let them know you were affected, too. The sooner we can get this fixed, the better."
Spike raised an eyebrow. "We could go, yeah. But..." He trailed a finger along the top of her shoulder down to her collar bone. "We could take our time getting there. Spend some time...exploring."
Buffy jumped up and away. "Ew! Spike, gross! You're a girl and I'm a boy!"
"Yeah?"
"Don't be disgusting."
Buffy backed up to the wall as Spike closed the distance between them. With a hand on either side of her head, he pinned her against the wall. He grabbed her crotch and smiled when he felt her cock thicken inside her jeans.
"Don't tell me you broke off your research just to check in on me, pet. You gotta admit, you're curious." Spike wasn't used to looking up at Buffy in situations like this. However, he was used to that look of tortured temptation on her face as he managed to push her buttons. She could deny it all she wanted, but she craved him. "You know you want to be inside me, Slayer," he whispered.
"Spike, stop it," she said with a gulp.
"Make me." He unbuckled her belt and began to unzip her jeans. The next second found him thrown across the room. He landed hard against the sarcophagus with his head spinning at the impact.
He didn't have time to think. Buffy had him up by his shirt and had slammed him back on top of the sarcophagus. She crawled on top of him and pinned him down.
"Just shut up," she said through clenched teeth. "Don't say anything."
Before he could even reply, her mouth was on his. It was a bleeding kiss, her tongue and teeth and lips violently exploring his. Pretty much the status quo with their relations.
It was the body that had changed. Her weight was heavier on top of him, making it easier for her to hold him down. His hands wandered as best she allowed them to. She was still muscular, but more bulky. Still lithe and slender, but in a masculine, poofter way. Her whiskers grated against his face as they kissed, intensifying the harshness.
When she finally let up for some air, Spike took the opportunity to whisper, "Let me blow you, love."
Her entire body tensed, but he could feel the lump in her pants practically vibrate with excitement. He attempted to slip a hand between them to feel it, but she batted it away.
"It's gross," she said.
"I'll make it feel good." He'd had plenty of practice on Angelus back in the day. "Come on, Slayer. Let me have your dick."
The very idea was obscene to Buffy. She had a penis. That penis wanted to be touched. To be tasted and teased. By Spike. Who was now a girl.
If the nerds were trying to make her head explode, they might well have succeeded by the end of the night.
She'd always thought the idea that guys' penises had a mind of their own was overblown, but she was beginning to understand where they were coming from. The idea of visiting Spike had struck her in the middle of research, and her brand new penis had gotten hard almost immediately. Fortunately, there was enough room in Xander's too-big jeans to accommodate it. However, ever since then, she hadn't been able to dissuade it from the idea of visiting Spike.
Even when she'd walked in to discover that Spike was a girl, her penis still saluted happily in her jeans. This was a nightmare of the highest order.
Now with Spike whispering to her about how he wanted to lick her cock with that deep, sultry female British accent (since when did female voices turn her on?), Buffy felt that if she didn't get someone to touch her penis she'd go insane.
She sat up on top of Spike, ooching herself forward so Spike's head rested between her thighs. She still wanted to keep control of this ultra-bizarre situation.
Spike pushed up on the bottom of her thighs, though, and sent her falling off the sarcophagus and onto the floor. He landed on top of her, and his nimble hands went again to her jeans.
"Now, Buffy. I'm giving you a treat. This is the proper way to get a blowjob."
Then his hands were on Buffy's penis, and she couldn't find it in her to protest. She groaned and her head fell backward to hit the dusty crypt floor.
Spike's hand was firm as it pumped Buffy's cock.
This was the weirdest feeling in the world. Buffy had spent far too little time actually looking at her penis. It had disgusted her, and examining it came too close to acknowledging it. She knew she was uncircumsized. Also, not as big as Spike, but bigger than Riley had been. A bit on the thick side, as well. She realized that she was hoping it passed Spike's approval.
She glanced down to see Spike looking up her body. He grinned as their eyes met.
"Your dick is good, Buffy."
How did he always know what she was thinking?
He lowered his head to swirl around the head of her cock. Buffy gasped. It felt like when Spike tongued her clit, just moreso. Spike raised up slightly to spit on Buffy's dick, then lapped a tongue up the underside from bottom to top. Once he reached the tip, he lowered down to engulf the dick with his mouth.
Buffy's hips jerked and a strained cry escaped her lips. Spike chuckled low in his throat as he began bobbing his head up and down.
Up and down.
Up and down.
Sloppy blowjob sounds filled the crypt, and Buffy found herself hyptonized by the sight of her cock disappearing into Spike's mouth. At one point, Spike gulped and took the entire penis in. Buffy felt the back of his throat. Spike released her penis with an inhale of air and a wet plop and began bobbing again. His left hand held the base and massaged up to meet his mouth with every stroke.
Buffy felt like she'd been turned inside out.
Spike's other hand struggled into her jeans to cup her balls. Buffy yelped, but he didn't relent.
"God, Spike...Spike...that's..." Words kept failing her.
Spike must have sensed her getting closer. He held the head of her penis firm in his mouth, sucking hard enough to sink his cheeks in. His left hand stroked quickly along the base. All it took was on swipe of his tongue along the slit and Buffy exploded.
She arched her back and scratched at the crypt floor. She felt herself spill into Spike's mouth, liquid meeting moisture. Her cries rose in pitch to mimic her former girlish tone.
"Oh fuck," she said as the last waves of her orgasm finished washing over her. She collapsed down onto the floor with splayed legs, completely sated. "That was...wow..."
Her eyes were closed, but she heard Spike's laughter.
"You like that?"
She grudgingly opened her eyes. He'd moved up beside her to gaze down at her face. He looked like he just won the lottery - or killed another slayer.
She hated when he got cocky. God, she hated that he always knew exactly how to make her come. Make her keep coming back. She hated that her life was so miserable, she craved him, even when stuck in the wrong body. She hated what that made her.
Feeling a second wind, Buffy grabbed Spike and knocked him to the floor, crawling on top of him.
"Okay, Spike," she said. "You've seen mine. Now I get to see yours."
He could fight back if he wanted to. But he didn't want to. Having Buffy take charge was enough to cause a flood to pour down his thighs.
This being a woman shtick wasn't so bad.
Buffy roughly grabbed his jacket, lifting him just enough to remove it. Then she yanked his shirt up and over his head. She paused, eying his breasts.
Spike smiled and waited for her. He threw his shoulders back, thrusting his tits out for her perusal. She looked annoyed.
"Like 'em?" He bounced slightly, enjoying the jiggle that rippled through his tits.
Buffy glared. She shoved his head to the floor, keeping a hand over his face. She leaned forward and bit his left breast. Hard. Her teeth sunk into the flesh. Spike shrieked and tried to push her off, but she managed to restrain him with her larger frame.
When she lifted her head - and hand - Spike protested. "What the fuck?"
Blood coated her mouth like a lip gloss. "This is so gross."
"Yeah? You got off on it before."
"Shut up."
"Don't play coy. You know you left your Scoobies cause you had an itch needed scratching. Doesn't matter what body we're in, pet, you need me."
"Shut up!" Her lips crashed down on his again, but her hand went to the fresh bite mark on his breast. She squeezed, amplifying the pain. If Spike were wearing panties, they'd be soaked through and then some. No matter how much she hurt him, he'd always enjoy it and ask for more.
The next few minutes consisted of a fumbling derobing. Buffy's shirt was tossed aside, revealing her bronzed and hairless chest. She kicked her jeans off all the way. Then she stripped off Spike's jeans to reveal his cunt.
She sat back to inspect him. Spike opened his legs, giving her the best view possible. His pussy gaped in readiness with fluid oozing freely.
"You know," he said. "Tit for tat. You got to experience a blow job. Gotta admit, I'm curious about your end of things."
"Don't be disgusting."
"Not disgusting. I do it for you often enough. Nothing like having your tongue buried deep in a woman's - "
Buffy dug her knee into Spike's crotch, grinding it down in the most painful fashion she could probably think of. Spike grunted.
"We're not playing your game, Spike. We're playing my game. And I'm not putting my mouth near your...thing."
Spike smiled. "You just gonna fuck me, then?"
Buffy scowled. She shoved her fingers into his vagina, causing him to gasp. That was a new sensation.
She took her time coating her fingers in his juices. With a steady hand, she presented the slicked-up digits to him. He darted his tongue out to lick at her fingers before sucking them into his mouth. He watched Buffy's eyes narrow with desire. A quick glance down revealed that her cock was hardening again. Seems that slayers had vampire-like refractory periods. More fun for him.
The finger-sucking appeared to have pushed Buffy over the edge. She shoved Spike's legs open and angled herself over him to rub her cock at his entrance.
"We never speak of this again, okay?" Buffy said.
"Just give it to me, Buffy. I want you."
He tried to thrust his hips up to meet her, but she pressed him back down. He didn't have a chance to protest, though. The next second had her plunging her cock all the way into his pussy. He squawked, unused to the feeling. The sensation was foreign, and his vagina had apparently been new. She'd burst right through his maidenhood, resulting in a surge of pain. Now, his tight walls struggled to accommodate Buffy's cock. Spike squirmed, hoping it would loose up a bit, while at the same time enjoying the ache.
When he looked up, Buffy's eyes were closed. She hadn't even hesitated before she began to fuck him. Apparently, she hadn't noticed Spike's initial discomfort. The muscles in her arms tensed as she thrust.
"You like my cunt?" Spike whispered. His tits bounced with every heave. "Like fucking your vampire with that cock of yours? Can feel it ripping me open - "
"God, Spike, do you never shut up?" Buffy paused in frustration. With an irritated sigh, she lowered herself down so her body pressed down on top of Spike's. With her arms free, she wrapped them around Spike's head and raised onto her knees.
Spike gasped. The penetration was even deeper now. Buffy's dick kept hitting against his clit, sending sparks of pleasure through him. His pussy gripped her cock with a vise grip, and Spike felt full. Full of sex and Buffy and his love for Buffy no matter what body she was in. With her arms wrapped around him, and her hard body surrounding him, he couldn't help but give in to the desire for reciprocation. To know that she felt this, too, and that it was incredible.
He wrapped his arms around her back, stroking down her spine.
"I love you, Buffy," he whispered directly into her ear. He enjoyed hearing his own voice sound so feminine.
She stopped in mid-thrust when he spoke. Spike moaned in protest. She raised herself up to look at him with an exasperated expression.
"Why can't you just stop talking?" she asked.
She sat up then, withdrawing her cock. Spike felt an aching emptiness in his cunt. He wriggled in an attempt to entice her back in. Buffy didn't waste time, though. She flipped him around so he lay on his stomach.
Spike knew the drill. He raised to his knees, but kept to his elbows. Buffy had re-entered him before he could get his balance. He toppled forward onto his face. Buffy leaned over him to put a hand on his head.
"Stay down," she commanded.
Her balls slapped against his stomach, and she began to grunt with every thrust. Spike slammed his hips back to meet her, enjoying the loud clapping sound as their bodies collided.
The pressure within him had been building. Buffy was hitting something deep within his core, and the pleasure grew with every second. Spike gritted his teeth as he felt it sweep over him. His fingers clawed uselessly into the dirt floor, and he cried out in pleasure, his body tensing in its already-constrained position.
Buffy cried out with a violent jerk of her hips. Her fingers dug into his sides enough to leave bruises. Her penis pulsed inside him, and Spike's vampire senses allowed him to feel her release spill against his pussy walls.
"Fuck, yes," he sighed. His body was still spirally into ecstasy. He gripped the ground while he waited it to calm down.
Buffy's didn't appear to last as long, though. She shoved him away and fell back on her ass. Her hands covered her face.
"God, why did I do that? That's disgusting. I'm disgusting!"
Spike pulled himself up. His cunt throbbed from the excitement and loss of the cock that had previously been plundering it. There were more important things to think about now than getting more of that dick. Spike reached a hand out to Buffy's shoulder, but she slapped him away.
"I hate this! I hate you! I hate my life and I hate the nerds and I hate the fucking Scoobies who brought me back!" Tears streamed down her face. "And now I hate this body and I hate that it wants your body! And I hate myself!"
As she broke down into fierce sobs, Spike wrapped his arms around her and held her to his breasts. She'd stopped resisting. Instead, she tucked her head under his chin and held on tight.
He didn't know what to do with her anymore - how to help her. Everything he tried seemed to make her worse, and now it seemed she was drifting away even from him. Why couldn't she just be happy?
Spike almost missed the change, so preoccupied he was with comforting Buffy. However, his vampire senses alerted him to the shift in body structure and size between them. When Spike looked down, Buffy was a woman again. A quick glance further revealed his own male body.
"Buffy, look." He shook her shoulder.
She paused in her tears and lifted her head. Her eyes focused on his breast-less chest, and then she looked down at her own body. She sat back, pulling away from Spike.
"Oh, thank God." Her hand traveled over her face, chest, stomach, teasing around her pussy. "Thank God," she repeated.
"Whatever the nerds did, it must've wore off," Spike said.
Buffy nodded. Her tears had stopped, but her face was blank and impassive. She looked like she had when she'd first been resurrected.
Spike resorted to the only way he knew to make her feel good - better. "If you like." He extended a hand to her abdomen. "I can welcome your lady-parts back good and proper."
He almost expected her to refuse. Usually around this time, she'd run out of the crypt to disappear for a day or two. Instead, she nodded. She kept her eyes downcast.
He moved slowly, intent not to break the spell of calm that had fallen over them. He grabbed her hand and helped her to her feet. Then he gently laid her back on his sarcophagus, wishing he'd had a pillow or comforter ready. She didn't seem to notice, though. She closed her eyes and let her legs splay open, presenting her moist pussy to his attention.
Spike eagerly leaned forward to stab his tongue deep inside her. His thumb circled her clit. He didn't want to tease her right now. She needed a familiar release, and he was damn well going to give it to her.
He went according to her noises of pleasure - something she couldn't suppress. When he finally swiped his tongue across her clit, she arched up with a yip and wrapped her hand through his hair. She fell back against the sarcophagus, and her hips began to buck against his mouth.
He added two fingers, hooking them in an attempt to find that spongy spot. As he did so, his tongue played a dance along her clit. He increased the pace and thrust his fingers more forcefully as her body jerked in response.
Her vocalizations increased in pitch and volume until she hit her peak. Her thighs closed around his head, and her fingers scratched his scalp. Spike jammed his thumb down on her clit and held a firm grip against her g-spot, riding out her orgasm.
After the few seconds of ecstasy, her body fell. She released gasping moans, and her legs fell back open. Her hands released his hair.
Spike gave a final lap at her pussy, then looked up. Her eyes were closed, her mouth hanging open slightly. Her chest rose and fell with an exhausted rhythm. Spike kissed her inner thigh. She didn't respond.
Spike stood and walked around the sarcophagus. He got up to lay down by her side. There wasn't much room for the two of them, but he managed
Buffy's eyes opened, her gaze focused on the opposite wall. "I should go," she said flatly.
Spike kissed her neck. "Please stay." His hand went to her stomach, and he teased patterns around her navel.
Buffy lay silent for a long while. Finally, she placed her hand over his.
"Okay."