Author's Note #1: I am a first time writer so constructive criticism is welcome. This is definitely a spuffy story but the tale is long and there's ground to cover before any spuffy action is involved. This is not a fluffy spuffy fic, however. Also, there is within the story sexual assault and rape, although not graphically described, so if you do not wish to read about that I will notate it when it appears so that you may skim over that section. Author's Note #2: The federal, state, and municipal laws referenced in the story are very complex and underwent massive federal and state changes in the late 1990s and early 2000s, and also vary widely from state to state and city to city in how they are enforced or interpreted. It is therefore not possible for me to pin down exact laws, in exact places, at exact times, as they are exactly enforced or not enforced by local law enforcement and social service agencies, there's too much variation. I've researched up the yazoo to be as accurate as possible but there will always be some differences between the law and how any particular law enforcement agency or social service worker decides to interpret or misinterpret it, even within the same local agency. Where a club mentioned in the story is concerned I have chosen to entirely ignore recent California laws that make certain club rules vastly different than the reader would expect and went with what worked best for the story.
Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.
Part One
"This is the springtime of my loving-
The second season I am to know
You are the sunlight in my growing-
So little warmth I’ve felt before.
It isn’t hard to feel me glowing-
I watched the fire that grew so low.
It is the summer of my smiles-
Flee from me keepers of the gloom.
Speak to me only with your eyes
It is to you I give this tune.
Ain’t so hard to recognize-
These things are clear to all from
Time to time.
I’ve felt the coldness of my winter
I never thought it would ever go
I cursed the gloom that set upon us...
But I know that I love you so
But I know that I love you so.
These are the seasons of emotion
And like the winds they rise and fall
This is the wonder of devotion-
I see the torch we all must hold.
This is the mystery of the quotient-
Upon us all a little rain
Must fall."
The Rain Song
Led Zeppelin
Chapter One
Baby Love
"I want to see her."
"Now Buffy, you know better than that."
"Bring her to me."
"We can't do that, sweetheart. It'll only make this harder for you."
"I don't care. I want to see her."
"It's against policy -"
"I don't care!" her voice broke, "I need to see her. Just this once....please."
Sister Margaret sighed unhappily. This was the moment when the girls were most vulnerable and she had hoped she could avoid this scene where Buffy was concerned. The girl had not appeared to be interested in her pregnancy nor in the baby itself throughout her time at St Anne's Maternity Home. She knew how vehemently the girl's parents insisted on adopting this infant out and returning to a 'normal' life again. Buffy was only fifteen years old, and hardly capable of providing a home for a baby, especially without parental assistance. No, adoption was the only alternative. Everyone had agreed.
But here, now, a mother was demanding to hold her baby. No matter that the mother was still a child herself, Sister Margaret knew she couldn't prevent this. But she'd make one last try.
"You've met the Andersons. You know they are good people and will provide the baby a happy and secure upbringing. And you know that seeing her will only hurt you in the end, child. Please, don't put yourself through this."
Tears were coursing down Buffy's cheeks and her chin trembled. "Please."
Sister Margaret let out a heavy sigh and turned to the nurse standing nearby. "Please go get the Summers infant." She turned back to Buffy and smiled gently at the sight before her. Buffy brushed the tears from her face and sat up straight in her hospital bed, arranging her blankets in readiness to greet her baby for the first time. Sister Margaret passed Buffy some tissues and tucked an errant strand of hair behind the girl's ear. No, this wasn't going to go smoothly at all.
****
In the end, Sister Margaret had been right. That this was not going well was an understatement.
Buffy held her daughter carefully, and as had new mothers before her, counted the little fingers and toes, inspected her carefully, and then settled back, awestruck at the tiny creature in her arms. Not in her wildest dreams did she think that she would feel like this. This miraculous, beautiful, tiny little being rooting for her breast was her daughter. Her daughter. Her daughter. How could they have failed to tell her how amazing this was, how deeply this scrawny red little creature with her honey-colored hair and wrinkly skin would burrow itself inside her heart. How quickly her entire life would change when a tiny hand grasped her finger and held on. Give her up? How could she -
"Buffy, what are you doing!?"
Buffy was jolted down to earth by her mother's angry shout. "It isn't supposed to be here with you. Who gave you -"
"Mrs. Summers. Perhaps we should go into the hall and discuss this." Sister Margaret placed a calm hand on Joyce's arm and attempted to lead her away. Joyce would have none of it.
"No, I'm not leaving the room and I demand that you remove it immediately. This child is being adopted into a good home and there is absolutely no reason that Buffy should be holding it. You said yourself, there is no point in getting attached to it when it's not coming home with us." Joyce turned toward Buffy, "It's not coming home with you young lady, don't get any ideas - and you can turn the waterworks off too. You knew all along that this was going to happen and if you're upset you only have yourself to blame. Now give it back to the nurse."
"Please mom. I can do this. I know I can. Please." Silence. "She's my baby."
One look at the poor girl's face, pleading miserably, could melt the hardest heart, Sister Margaret thought. But not this mother's heart.
Joyce gazed stonily at her daughter in complete silence. Tension stretched taut between the two females for what seemed like an eternity. Joyce stepped forward slowly and finally broke the silence.
"You are fifteen years old, Buffy. There is no one going to give a fifteen year old girl custody of an infant without some sort of assistance, and believe me, you will get no help from your father or me on this. You're the one who decided you were so grown up and sneaked around with a 20 year old guy behind our backs and got yourself pregnant. And where is Mr. Wonderful now? Gone, that's where. Because at least he's smart enough to know that having a child at your age is ridiculous. You can't be anyone's mother, you haven't even started eleventh grade. You will hand this infant over to Sister Margaret now, and when it's time to sign the adoption papers you will sign them. Because if you don't sign them, we won't be taking you or it back home with us."
Joyce let that piece of information sit for a moment and then continued on quietly, "Do you know what PINS means, Buffy? It means a 'Person in need of supervision'. And that is what you will be if you try to walk out of here without signing those papers. Because your father and I will not put up with this. You've had your fun, played the party girl, the slut, sneaked out of the house, and now had a baby out of wedlock at fifteen years old. It would be a very simple thing for us to go before a judge and simply tell him that we've tried our best with you but you are simply incorrigible and you need to go to juvenile hall. And you know what will happen to your baby then, Buffy? Foster care, that's what. And foster care is not a place you want to see your baby grow up in. But that's exactly what will happen if you refuse to go through with the adoption. I promise you as God is my witness, whether you sign those papers or not, you will not be raising this child."
****
In the end the nurse took the baby away to the nursery. Buffy couldn't believe how hollow and miserable she felt as she watched her child whisked away forever. Her mother was saying something about her father being out of town so he wouldn't be coming to the hospital to visit her, and that after all it was for the best, they could 'get on with their lives' once again now this 'terrible period had passed', blah blah blah. Buffy tuned out her words, staring blankly at the wall. She was concentrating hard to remember forever the feel of her daughter in her arms, the way she smelled, the softness of the downy hair on her head, the tiny little fingers closing around her own finger...these she must not forget, must always remember. Eventually her mother went home for the night.
The nurse returned with dinner and tried to cheer her up with happy talk about boys and dates and school and all the things that Buffy had to look forward to just as every young girl does.
"Don't worry Buffy, your life will pick up again and before you know it you'll have forgotten all about this and be having the time of your life in high school, dating and going to the dances. This is the best time of your life. Just have a little faith, you'll see how this will all work out for the best." Nurse Susan chirped happily as she took away the uneaten dinner and straightened up the bed clothes.
Buffy gave no indication she was really listening and Nurse Susan sighed deeply and left Buffy to the silence of her room. To anyone watching, Buffy looked for all the world like a girl who had lost her best friend and was in a serious depressive funk, but they'd be wrong. Nurse Susan had said something that sparked the turning of gears and the making of plans, serious and foolhardy plans. Maybe there was a way to keep her baby after all.
"You've just gotta have faith," Buffy whispered to herself. Faith.
~~~~~~~~~~
The story has begun. Hope you enjoy, and please leave a review if you can. Thanks.
Sara