Shiver
“Hey, Spike.”
He’d heard her before he saw her, the sound of brittle twigs snapping beneath bare feet.
“Buffy.” He turned his head to look up at her, squinting his eyes against the late afternoon sun. She had her hair loose around her shoulders, and was wearing a yellow sundress.
“Whatcha doin’?” She settled herself down beside him, tucking her legs up and resting her head on her knees. Her tone was light, airy.
Spike cast her a worried glance. How much had she heard? “Not much. Thinking.”
“Hmm,” Buffy nodded her head. “Thinking’s good. Except if you’re thinking about something bad. Then it’s – you know – well… bad.”
Spike smiled at her less-than-articulate way of talking, and she rolled her eyes. “Shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything!” Spike nudged her shoulder. “Not my fault if you can’t even grasp the basics of the English language.”
“Like you’re one to talk, Mr. Bloody-Pet-Bollocks-Bleedin-Git!”
“You insultin’ me?”
Buffy stuck her tongue out at him, and Spike looked away, falling into silence.
Moments later, “It’s nice here.”
Spike, keeping his gaze fixed on the flat stretch of water in front of them, made a noise in the back of his throat, which Buffy must have taken for agreement.
“Good of your dad to let us use the cabin,” she said. When Spike didn’t reply, “Hey, you know what? We should all head down to Butler’s Common tomorrow. There’s a fair.”
“Sounds good, pet.”
“Gee, sound a little less enthusiastic, why don’t you?” Buffy rolled her eyes.
Spike sighed, and turned to look at her. “Why are you out here, Buffy?”
For a split-second, she met his eyes, but then quickly looked down at the ground. Her fingers trailed through the leaves and stones on the bank, and she shrugged, uncomfortably. “I saw you sitting here… thought you might like some company. I’ll go, if you want.” She made a move as though to stand up.
“Buffy.” He put his hand on her arm, and she stayed where she was. “Stop pretending. What did you hear?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Buffy.”
“Okay, so I might have heard you talking to Xander,” Buffy sighed. “But, you know, it’s cool. We don’t have to talk about that.”
“Sorry.” Spike bowed his head, staring at the worn knees of his dark blue jeans.
“For what?”
“Well it’s weird, now. Used to be able to talk to you ‘bout anything. Now look at us. S’all awkward.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Buffy said, meeting his eyes with a nervous smile.
“What do you mean?” Spike felt his heart lift, just a little. He didn’t dare hope- “I know you don’t… I mean, you’ve got… him. What’s-his-height.”
“We broke up a couple weeks ago.” Buffy shrugged. She didn’t sound too upset by it. “Things were bad for a while.”
“Oh.” Spike didn’t know what else to say. Well, he knew what he wanted to say but he had no idea if Buffy would want to hear it. He felt her hand on his arm, and shivered.
“Why d’you think I tagged along with you and the guys? I needed to get away for a little while.” She grinned, and nudged his arm playfully. “Not like you mind me being here, huh?”
Spike closed his eyes, wondering if she was making fun of him. Wondering if this was a subtle, backhanded way of saying that she’d heard all of what he’d said to Xander, and that she didn’t feel the same way.
He stood up, brushing the dirt off the back of his jeans, turning towards the path that led back through the woods to the cabin, looking anywhere but at Buffy. She stayed seated, but he could feel her eyes on him.
“Where’re you going?” Buffy asked, the tone of her voice indicating that she knew why he was upset. “Hey, come on. I didn’t mean it like that.”
Spike stayed facing the path. “What did you mean, then?”
Buffy sighed. “I don’t know. This is weird, for me. To find out- to know that… well. You’ve only ever been my big brother’s best friend. And now? I think, maybe… Spike?”
She looked up, but Spike had gone.
***
Buffy felt a little strange walking down to the lake wearing nothing but her underwear and a thick, fuzzy blanket. She felt bare, exposed.
She knew it was silly; the lake was isolated, miles from anywhere and her brother and his friends were out drinking in the nearest town. She’d been invited, but after all the awkwardness with Spike earlier that day, she’d declined.
Besides, she had always wanted to swim in a lake at night, and with the boys out of the way, this was the perfect opportunity. Not skinny-dipping, though. Despite the alone-ness, she didn’t quite feel comfortable enough to swim in the nude.
Buffy set the blanket down on the shore, folding it neatly. She slipped off her shoes, and turned towards the still water.
So far out into the countryside, away from the light pollution of the city, the night sky was a clear, dark blue, smattered with stars and a bright crescent moon. The silence was a little creepy; the only sounds the chirping of crickets and the rustle of leaves on the breeze.
Buffy padded down the wooden dock, shivering. She fought the urge to cover her body, telling herself that it was no different to go swimming in her bra and panties than it was to go in a skimpy bikini.
She slid into the water, goosebumps erupting across her skin at the chill. It wasn’t too cold, having retained the day’s heat. Still, it was enough to make her shiver.
Buffy started to swim towards the middle of the lake, keeping her feet off the ground, not keen on the feeling of the mud squishing between her toes. She had only swum a couple of metres, when she heard the wooden planks on the dock creaking under the pad of bare feet.
“Buffy.”
She froze at the sound of his voice, the husky tones sending tingles up and down her spine. Buffy heard the susurrus of cloth on skin, followed by the soft ‘whump’ of clothes being dropped to the ground. There was a splash, and she squeezed her eyes shut, willing him away, wanting him to be anywhere but here.
“You shouldn’t be out here all alone, pet. Never know what nasties might be hiding in the woods.”
She could feel him moving closer to her, ripples spreading across the water. “I thought you went to the bar with Xander and Angel?”
“Got halfway there and realised I needed to be back here.” Spike sighed. “Couldn’t stand leaving things as they were between us.”
“I kinda wanted to be alone.”
“That’s okay,” Spike replied. “I’ll be quiet. You can be alone with me here.”
Buffy turned around to face him, blushing when she saw that he didn’t appear to have her complex about swimming in the nude. “You couldn’t have kept your underwear on?”
Spike raised his eyebrow, and stuck his tongue behind his teeth. Buffy’s face grew even redder. “Oh.”
“Figured if overhearing my confession of love didn’t do it, seeing my tight, hot body might.”
“Spike…”
“I know, I know. Sorry.” Spike ran a hand through his hair. “This was a bad idea. I’ll go.”
“Wait!” Buffy took a deep breath, trying to work up the nerve to say what she needed to say. “When I heard what you said to Xander, it scared me. You were so- so intense. I’ve never seen you like that before.” She paused, and moved forwards, closing the gap between herself and Spike.
“’Cos I’ve never felt like this before,” Spike murmured, so softly Buffy had a hard time hearing him.
“And it confused me. So when I came to talk to you this afternoon, I guess I tried to keep things the same as they’ve always been. You know, good old Buffy, Angel’s annoying kid sister.”
“Not annoying,” Spike whispered, reaching out and stroking one long finger down the side of her arm. Buffy shivered, the tingles she’d felt earlier returning in full-force.
“I figured if I could try and keep things the same as they’ve always been, then it wouldn’t be so scary - knowing how you felt.” She smiled, wryly. “It didn’t work.”
Spike took a step backwards, a frown on his face. “Don’t want you to be afraid of me, Buffy.”
“I’m not scared of you, Spike.” Buffy paused, fixing her gaze on his, trying to think of the best way to put things. She took a deep breath. “I’m scared of how you make me feel.”
“How’s that, then?” Underneath the confident tone, Buffy could hear the shakiness in his voice.
“Like I can’t breathe. Like there’s someone squeezing my heart.” Her words were a whisper. Then, “I used to have the biggest crush on you, you know that?”
Spike’s eyes widened, and Buffy didn’t know whether it was from the odd segue or from what she’d said.
“Yeah. When I was like, fifteen. You’d just made friends with Angel, and he’d bring you around and I’d hide from you. Then other guys started asking me out and I thought I’d… well, guess I never got over it.”
“What are you saying, Buffy?”
“I like you. More than like… hearing what you said to Xander kinda made me realise that.”
Spike closed his eyes, and took a deep, shuddering breath. Buffy watched in fascination as his Adam’s apple moved when he swallowed, too caught up with staring to realise he’d stepped even closer, and then his mouth was on hers, kissing her, his hands gripping the tops of her arms so tight it almost hurt.
Buffy was surprised, shocked by the suddenness of the kiss, but she soon relaxed, opening her mouth under his, brushing her tongue against the seam of his lips.
Spike groaned, and pulled her closer against his body, running his hands down the length of her arms and then around to cup her bum, slipping the tops of his fingers into the waistband of her underwear.
Buffy’s heart was pounding, and a delicious heat was building, tingling between her legs. She slid her feet up the backs of Spike’s calves, hooking her legs around his waist, and she felt him shiver. She was pressed fully against him now, and she could feel him hard and hot against her, the only thing separating them the thin cotton of her panties.
She moved her hips, and a bolt of heat shot through her body. Buffy moaned, and Spike tore his mouth away from hers, trailing a line of kisses down her neck towards the curves of her breasts.
“Fuck, Buffy,” Spike stumbled towards the dock, sending ripples outwards across the water of the lake. “Want you. Wanted you for so long.”
-“Are you sure, man? This isn’t just some rebound thing from Dru?”
“Yes, I’m bloody well sure!” Spike ran a hand through his hair. “Me and Dru were over months ago. If anything, she was the fuckin’ rebound.”
“Hey,” Xander held up his hands in a placatory manner. “Just checking. It’s not like you’ve ever shown any interest in Buffy before.”
Spike chuckled, wryly. “Mate, that’s ‘cos I hid it. Don’t think Angel would’ve taken it too well, eh?”
“Oh.” Xander frowned. “This is just – wow. You’re in love with Buffy? My world is spinning off its axis.”
“Yeah,” Spike smiled. “I love her.”-
Her back hit the wood of the dock, and she gasped. Spike slipped his hands across her breasts, brushing her hardened nipples through the sodden lace of her bra, his touch moving downwards across her stomach and to her waist. He stroked the skin there, sending shivers down her spine, his mouth pressing light but lingering kisses to hers.
He lifted her up suddenly, sitting her on the end of the dock, and the rush of cool air after the relative warmth of the water and the heat of Spike’s kisses was a shock to the system.
Buffy reached out her hand to Spike, running her fingers down the hard planes of his chest. He gazed up at her with a look of such awe on his face that Buffy began to feel uncomfortable, suddenly all-too aware that she was sitting before him in her now see-through underwear, and that beneath the water, he was wearing nothing at all.
She dropped her hand, and scooted backwards, a flush of red spreading across her face.
“Don’t go, Buffy. We don't have to do anything you don't want. I'm crazy about you, I'd wait for you forever.” She relaxed at the sound of his voice, nervousness dissipating, and nodded, giving him a little smile, letting him know that it was all right to carry on.
She watched as Spike placed the palms of his hands flat on the dock, either side of her legs, then pushed himself out of the water. Buffy’s eyes widened at the sight of his fully naked form, as he settled himself over her, leaning her backwards so that she lay beneath him.
Buffy stared into his eyes, wondering if the emotions she saw there were reflected in her own gaze. She had never had anyone look at her with such tenderness, yet at the same time such burning passion.
Spike lowered his lips to hers once more, kissing his way from her mouth down to her breasts. He reached behind her and undid the clasp of her bra, slipping it from her shoulders without a word. Buffy moaned when his mouth closed around her nipple, arching her back, the flicker of his tongue against her flesh making her throb with need.
When he pulled away, she moaned in protest, and brought her hands to the back of his head to try and keep him there. She wanted more, and wrapped her legs around his, grinding her hips against his hard cock, loving his strangled moans.
“Buffy…”
She kissed him again, then felt his fingers move underneath the elastic of her panties. He started to slide them down her legs, and she knew then that there was no going back. She was going to have sex with Spike, right here by the lake, under the clear night sky. The thought sent a shiver of anticipation and heat down her spine that pooled between her legs. Buffy lifted herself up slightly, helping Spike get the wet cotton off of her, and then she lay back, her hands on his shoulders and every part of her pressed intimately against him.
Spike’s hand slipped between her legs, finding her wet folds. He stroked her once, twice, then slid a finger inside of her, feeling for the spot that would make her gasp. His thumb found her clit, pressing down on it hard and Buffy arched her back, white spots flashing behind her eyes. He brought her close to the edge, all the while kissing and nipping at her neck and chest. Before she could reach the blissful moment of completion, Spike withdrew his hand and lifted his head from her breast.
“Are you here with me?”
Buffy knew that he didn’t mean literally. He was asking her if she was with him emotionally, ready for what was about to happen between them.
She nodded. “I am.”
Spike smiled at her, a wolfish grin that she’d never seen on his face before, and she couldn’t help but smile back. Then, almost shyly, “Do we need… um, protection?”
Buffy shook her head. “It’s fine. I’m safe. Still on the pill… you know, from Riley.”
Spike’s eyes narrowed at the mention of her ex’s name, and he pulled back slightly.
“Don’t think about him,” Buffy said. “I’m here, with you.” She reached down between their bodies, and her fingers circled his cock, pumping it a couple of times, then positioning it at her entrance.
She met his eyes, and leaned up to kiss him. Spike pushed forwards, entering her oh-so-slowly, letting her become accustomed to the feel of him inside her.
“Oh, God,” he moaned, as they began to move. “You feel so… fucking… amazing.”
Buffy raised her hips to meet his thrusts, loving the feel of him. She was moaning now, the base of Spike’s cock hitting her clit with every push of his hips. “You – oh, God! – you, too.”
They started to move faster, lost in the sensations of each other. Buffy locked her legs around Spike’s waist, urging him on, feeling her orgasm begin to build, sending dizzying spirals of heat outwards from where they were joined.
Spike brought his fingers back to her clit, rubbing the hardened nub, and Buffy felt her inner walls begin to flutter as she reached her climax. “Spike! Uhhn, oh God!”
Spike thrust once more, twice, then followed her over the edge, his back arching and body shuddering as he came. “Oh, fuck! Buffy!”
He dropped his forehead to hers, breathing heavily. Buffy pressed her lips against his in a soft kiss, and then pulled back to look in his eyes. She smiled. “You okay?”
“Okay? I’m great.” Spike grinned, then his features softened and he tucked a loose strand of Buffy’s hair behind her ear. “Are you?”
“More than,” Buffy giggled. “That was amazing.”
Spike smiled, then rolled off her, reaching over to the pile of his clothes for his leather coat. He draped it over himself and Buffy, and she cuddled down into his arms. They lay in silence for a few moments, looking up at the sky.
Buffy kissed the top of Spike’s shoulder, and he sighed happily.
“Can I say it?” he asked.
Buffy didn’t have to ask what he meant. She turned her face into his chest, and nodded. The thought of it still scared her, a little.
Spike brought his mouth to her ear and whispered, “Love you, Buffy.”
Buffy felt a flood of warmth fill her cheeks. “I… I can’t say it back, yet. But I think the feeling is there. Guess my little crush wasn’t so little, huh?”
Spike chuckled, and hugged her tighter against him. Buffy felt his hand stroke across her stomach, and then down between her legs once more, the feeling of his hands making her shiver.
-END-
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!