Chapter 1
I fall back onto my couch with a thud. I’m tired. I’m hungry. I want to watch my telly. I want to –
“What are you doing?”
I sigh. “I just got home. I need to – “
“We all need, Spike. Did you get it?”
I push myself off the couch and face her. “Yeah, I got it. You could ask nicely, you know.”
I hold the trinket out to her and she grabs it from me. I shake my head. She was so different now. It saddens me which also pisses me off that I care in the least.
“Be nice, sweetie. He risked life and limb.”
“Thanks, luv. I appreciate it.”
“You didn’t use this, did you?”
“Why would I, Red? Don’t even know what it’s for.”
Willow looks at me, skeptical, but nods. “Let’s go.”
“Hey, a thank you would be nice to hear.”
“I’ll thank you if this works.”
I focus on Tara. “What’s she up to, Glinda?”
“It’s nothing,” she lies and not very well.
“If we need any more of your help, I’ll ask.”
“Don’t bother. Won’t be taking any more orders from you,” I tell her.
“What if I can deactivate the chip?” Willow asks, an eyebrow cocked, knowing me all too well.
“That little thing can do that?”
“No, we can,” she answers, pointing to herself and to Tara. “You help us with anything else we need in regards to this,” she holds up the gold circle,” and I’ll help you with the chip.”
“Slayer wouldn’t like that, Red. And you know it.”
Willow looks at the ground before exhaling loudly. Tara’s hand goes to her back and she rubs her shoulder, trying to comfort her. She looks back up at me and the steely resolve I find in her eyes makes me uneasy.
“Well, the Slayer’s not around to really say anything about that, is she?”
She turns and walks out of the crypt, leaving Tara standing there.
“What’s she planning? Giles know?”
“It isn’t anything. We’re just looking – “
“Into?”
“What happens when you die going through a mystical field of energy?” Tara answers, quietly and unsure.
“Bloody hell. You witches just can’t leave well enough alone! Aren’t you against all that rot?”
“It’s a different circumstance,” Tara begins, watching me pace back and forth along the dirty cement floor.
I stop, start to say something and stop again, shaking my head furiously. “Whatever you twits are planning, unplan it. Leave the Slayer where she is, yeah?”
“Willow thinks…thinks she’s in hell. Suffering.”
I’m taken aback. The thought had never occurred to me. After all the good she did, wouldn’t she go where all the good people go? Why would she be left to the same fate as those she destroyed? It didn’t seem right. It didn’t seem fair. And right there was Buffy’s life in a nutshell.
“That gold circle going to tell you where she’s at then?”
“No, that’s…something else.”
I say nothing, just raise an eyebrow.
“It brings you places.”
“Places? It teleports you?”
“Well, yes but…”
“But? Spit it out!” I yell, entirely losing my patience. When she flinches, I feel a little guilty. She’d been nothing but kind to me and even stayed behind answering my questions, which none of them ever did. “Sorry, but it’s like pulling teeth with you.”
“Willow would flip out if I told you.”
“Do the others know?”
“No. We wanted to make sure before – “
“Before what, Tara?” I ask, my voice strong and demanding.
“The circle…it can bring you wherever you want.”
“Yeah, you said already.”
“Whenever you want.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sneaking into the Slayer’s home had always been easy. I can’t count how many times I’d done it. Especially when I was going through that issue. I sigh. I can admit the truth now. My obsession with her. That embarrassing mess I made. How badly I had handled the entire situation. I wish things had gone differently. That she didn’t find out the way that she did. That I hadn’t thought the cattle prod was a good idea. Or the chaining her to the ceiling. Or the adding of Drusilla to the situation. Wasn’t the smartest decision I ever made. I was a vamp consumed. Logical thought didn’t make a difference then.
Hell. Apparently doesn’t make a difference now either, since I find myself breaking in again, even after staying away for 32 days. Near 33. Couldn’t come within a yard of the place once she was…I’d meet Dawn on the sidewalk, the street, just so I wouldn’t have to go near it, much less go in. Never thought I’d be able to stomach it, being inside again. But here I am.
I can smell her from the street corner. I get dizzy standing in front of her house where she had passed a thousand times. And I am positively overwhelmed as I open the back door and quietly let myself in. I have to wait a moment, my back resting on the door, eyes closed, waiting for it to pass. Eventually I have to move. I know that. Just as I know the feeling will never go away. Her scent had always brought me to this, always shut me down. It was as much a fact of my unlife now as drinking blood and hating the sun. It was just a part of me. Nothing can be done.
I open my eyes and shake my head, clearing it as best as I can. I make my way into the living room, look around and see nothing. Other than that no one is making Dawn do her chores. I’d have to talk to her about that. I walk past the staircase – no need to go up there unless I have to – and into the dining room. This looks promising. I go to the end of the table where Willow’s laptop sits, along with loose papers and books. I skim what’s there and throw them back on the table, disappointed. They’re school things. No use to me at all.
I go back to the kitchen and take another deep breath, fighting through the smell of her to find something I can use. There it is. Sulfur. Matches. Candles. I turn around and find the door to the basement and open it carefully, knowing it squeaks, and make my way down the stairs.
I smile when I get to the foot of the stairs. Exactly what I’m looking for. There are charts and spells and more talismans than I ever care to be around at the same time. I see the open book with the gold circle on top of it and make my way over. Taking a step onto the rug, a loud alarm sounds and I throw my head back and growl.
Damn witches and their spells.
I grab the circle and the book, slipping my fingers between the pages to hold the place. I quickly look at the other crap she has lying around and I may have to come back for them but for now, I’ll take only what I need.
I can hear them coming. I didn’t want to do this. I wanted to bring it to Giles, to have him figure it all out before I went all frying pan fire but I don’t have much of a choice now. If Willow catches me, I’ll be dust or possibly worse with her track record.
I open the book and read it over, not finding anything significant. Not seeing a spell or anything that would help me get out of this situation. I can hear Willow yelling my name as she runs across the dining room floor above. I’d be offended that she just assumed it was me but I don’t have the time. I grasp the circle and hold it up to my face, trying to find something.
“Get me out of here, you stupid, bloody useless thing!”
“Spike! I’m going to kill you!” Willow yells as she opens the cellar door.
“Willow!” Tara calls after her. “Don’t do anything stupid.”
“Now would be good,” I whisper, feverishly.
I hear Willow say that she never trusted me and then I hear nothing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I land with a thud. I grimace in pain and curse. I stand and wipe myself off. I put the circle into my jeans pocket and look around. I know where I am instantly. It’s my home after all. I see the Alpert crypt and make my way over, only to stop suddenly.
There was that smell again. Her. Fresh. Close.
“Ahem.”
Too close.
I turn slowly, wanting to see her. Needing to see her. Dreading to see her. My eyes widen when I finally do.
“A vampire with a book. That can’t be good.”
I can’t say anything. I don’t know what to say. She looks so…young. Too young to be the Slayer and yet here she is with a stake at the ready.
“And knowing you, none of this can be of the good, you know?”
I continue to stare at her. She knows… knew, not too long ago, that I was never up to anything good.
“Why are you gawking at me? I’m more than prepared to go mano y mano with you tonight.”
“You sure about that, pet?” Thank Hell, I finally found my voice.
She turns red. “Don’t get cocky. I don’t need my axe-wielding mom to take you out this time.”
I smile. Good times.
“What’s funny?” she asks, her voice hostile, her hand raising the stake dangerously.
“I’d love to have a go with you, Slayer, but I have somewhere I need to be.”
“Not with a book old enough to make my Watcher drool.” She gestures to the tome in my hand. “Sorry, can’t let you.”
“Luv, you don’t have much of a choice. Even if I was up for it, you’re not ready yet.”
Buffy scrunches her forehead in confusion. “Huh?”
“There are plenty of years to do this. And we’ll have a good old time of it, I promise. But right now, I have something else to do.” I nod at her and turn on my heel.
“But – “
“Another time, pet!” I tell her, amusement filling my voice.
“Stop calling me that!”
I halt my steps and turn to look at her, now that there’s enough distance between me and her stake. “Tell me something, Slayer.”
“Okay?”
“How long ago was that little tête-à-tête with your mother?”
“You don’t remember?”
“Vampires have piss-poor memories.”
She purses her lips and looks annoyed. “That’s totally not true.”
“Angel must be boring you with stories from two hundred years ago,” I mutter under my breath. “Humor me.”
“Whatever. It was like a month ago.”
“Has Halloween happened yet?”
“No…it’s next week. Did you fall down and hit your head?” she says, her voice suddenly light and jovial as she twirls her stake. “’Cause I can help! Quick stake to the heart. Out of my misery.”
I try not to smile. I miss her so much. Even this Buffy that I don’t really know.
“Some other time, I promise.” I run away, avoiding any further discussion. I have to get to where I am going before she gets there. I have to try and reason with him. To explain how this all happens as best as I can.
I must get to Giles.
tbc...
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!