Prologue


She had stopped screaming a long time ago, even before she’d stopped fighting. It was strange how your body defended itself, hers had just shut off. Now when he came she was simply an audience. Far away she felt his ice hands roaming over her body; felt it without feeling it.

His body was heavy, pressing hers against the cold floor, dark eyes sparkling as they stared into hers. They had sparkled even more when she had squirmed beneath him, tears streaming down her cheeks as she begged for mercy. Begged for mercy – how ridiculous that seemed now. He didn’t even bother to hold her down anymore, and still she just lay there. A dark haired woman came now and then too. Sometimes to watch, sometimes to taste her blood, sometimes to fuck with him in front of her. Those were the best times; she knew he wouldn’t touch her for a while and neither was she alone in the dark, just waiting.

From time to time she would wonder how long she had been here; lying on the stone floor with her hands chained to the wall. It felt like she had been here forever, but she couldn’t say for sure how much time that had passed. Maybe weeks, maybe days. It had been more than four days, that she was sure of; she’d counted the first days by watching the only, small, window in the room.

It was almost… silly. When she had become the Slayer she had felt so strong, close to invincible. She’d never wanted the power, no, but she could not deny what coursed through her veins. Strong, ha! The word bore no meaning. He would soon return, with his hands of ice and eyes of blackness, and she would not fight.

***

“Long time, no see, Peaches.”

The unfamiliar voice made her startle a little and she tilted her head slightly to the side, towards whoever had spoken.

“Well, Willie, it wasn’t I who decided to run away again.” That was him. “But there’s no need to worry; I’ve been keeping Dru warm for you.”

“I’m sure.”

She felt eyes on her and turned her head back towards the stone wall again.

“I can see you’ve been...” The unfamiliar one drew in a sharp breath. “Bloody hell… the Slayer?!”

A shadow fell over her and there were hands on her body, gentler than she was used to but the skin had a vampire’s coolness. She flinched once and stilled entirely. The hands ghosted over the bruises on her hips and touched the fang mark just above one of her nipples.

“How did you get her? You must’ve tricked her somehow, I’ve never seen a Slayer who-“

He snickered. “Yeah, and you’ve ‘met’ so many.”

“I didn’t gain the title ‘Slayer of Slayers’ for nothing, mate.”

Laughter echoed in the room but the vampire beside her didn’t say anything more, even though she could almost taste the anger that rose in him. A hand returned to touch her. It grazed her dirty hair for a moment before it tangled in it and roughly forced her head backwards. She knew what he wanted now; reaction.

“Have you put a spell on her or something?”

“Nope. That’s what twenty days of torture does to a Slayer,” he said.

“You mean raping and blood drinking.”

“And some whipping and beating.”

The hand slowly relaxed its hold and glided down her bare arm to grip her right wrist. It pulled once, twice, and then its owner chuckled lightly and stroked her cheek. The sound of light footsteps made him freeze in the middle of the movement.

“My William,” a female voice said, “the moon whispered about you coming back.” It halted for a second. “Daddy brought Sunshine here for me, do you like her?”

“She has a certain… charm.”

Suddenly a harsh growl vibrated through the air.

“You’re mine! You cannot make Sunshine yours! She’s forever lost to –”

There was a small shriek and next sounds of shuffling and humming. She heard him saying something but couldn’t make out the words. The vampire at her side stood and moved over to the pair. She stopped listening. Her eyelids were becoming heavy. Sleeping was freedom and she gratefully lost herself in it.

When she opened her eyes anew she wasn’t alone.

“Happy to see you’re finally waking up,” the unfamiliar vampire said, “was beginning to think you’d sleep the night away.”

He sat beside her, so close that she could feel how warm he wasn’t. The smell of cigarette smoke reached her and she blinked slowly.

A hand petted her hair, once, twice. She was not sure if he was mocking her or not. When the hand travelled lower though, glided down her throat to her breast, she fixed her eyes in the ceiling and searched for the place in her mind where she was a goner. She knew where this was going. But the hand went stock-still over her ribs.

“Are you flying away, pet?” he murmured. “No need to worry. I don’t fuck Slayers, I kill them.”

‘Pet’ – the perfect nickname for her. This one was more clear-sighted than him. Maybe he would kill her. Please kill me.

“No need to feel offended,” he said ironically and she nearly frowned, “I’m sure you’re a pretty little thing underneath all that dirt.”

Why was he talking to her? She wanted to go back to sleep, but had a feeling that he wouldn’t let her. She was right. When she began to close her eyes, the fingers on her chest began to tap against her skin. He snickered.

“Ah, ah, Slayer,” he said. “No nap for you. You and I are having a chat and it would be impolite to fall asleep.”

She obeyed and fixed her gaze in the ceiling. Silence filled the air for a long time and she had just started to think that he wouldn’t say anything more, when the fingers took up their tapping and he at last spoke.

“I want revenge. You can give it to me,” he declared. “I want to kill them, both of them.”

Her? Inside her mind she laughed. This one was even more insane than the vampiress.

Next there was, all of sudden, a face right in her field of her vision. Pale skin. That was all she needed to know.

“You’re not looking at me, Slayer.” A hand grabbed her chin. “I can get you out of here, if you promise me you’ll help me kill them.”

The hand became rougher and a warning growl vibrated through the air.

“Stupid bint! Are you going to let Angelus get to you? Come on, you’re the Slayer for fuck’s sake!”

No, I’m not.

A beat of heavy silence. Slowly, the vampire let go of her and she heard him sigh. There was a sound of clinging metal, and suddenly her arms fell heavily down onto the floor. One wrist was lifted, then the other and she was free. So he had decided to rape her after all. Wait... he’d said she was too dirty. Maybe he would just drink from her then. Silly vampire. He didn’t need to let her loose to do that.

There was some rustling before a pair of arms came around her. They began to lift her, only to let her down again. More shuffling. Something soft was pulled around her. Then the arms came back and she was pressed against a hard chest. Hard chest. Like his, but still not.

The whole world rocked, almost like when she had been Mommy’s little girl and swung in the garden. The feeling was surprisingly comforting. Next minute the vampire held her with only one arm as he fumbled with something. She realized that they were outside. Air. She opened her mouth slightly. Fresh air. A sound and then she was lifted into... a car. Yes, it had to be a car; it started to roar when the vampire sat down on her right side. The sound of the engine made her sleepy again and she gave in.

***


What the bloody hell was he thinking?! Spike threw a glance at the sleeping Slayer beside him and quickly locked back out through the window. He stepped harder on the accelerator. She had fallen asleep as soon as he’d started the car. If he hadn’t heard her steady heartbeat he would’ve thought she was dead. She lay deadly motionless, slumped in the seat, one head lolled to the side and her mouth slightly open. Even the steady rise of her chest was close to invisible.

He must’ve gone insane; maybe all the years with Dru at last had begun to affect him. The girl in the car was in no shape to fight. Why did he rescue her again? The answer came immediately; Angelus. It was almost worth it just for the look on the bastard’s face when he found that his toy was gone – if Spike had only got to see it. He supposed he could just drain the girl, and leave her in a ditch somewhere, Slayer blood tasted like heaven after all. Why was it he didn’t do that?

“Nothing tastes as sweet as revenge, William.”

The dreams were still clear in his mind, that was why. Spike slowed down when he reached ‘Sunnydale Motel’, this place was as good as any. It would do for the day. Hopefully Angelus wouldn’t think to look for him here.

He parked the car and got out, shutting the door carefully not to wake the girl. The clerk in the reception was a small woman who stank of sweat and wore a very low cut shirt. She leant over the desk, and pushed her chest out like he hadn’t already seen enough. He didn’t even want to eat her. Quickly, he made his way back to the car. The only garment the girl wore was his red shirt and it wasn’t even buttoned up properly. He glanced at the motel doors and sighed before he shrugged out of his duster and swept it around her. She woke up when he lifted her and blinked slowly against him, but he didn’t think she really saw him. Her eyes were empty and she lay boneless in his arms.

The clerk eyed him curiously when he stepped back inside with his burden. He let his eyes flash yellow once and a second later she was looking through a bunch of papers. The people in this town were not stupid.

As he stepped into his room he frowned, putting the girl down. She swayed and sank to the floor, her back against the door.

“Snap out off it, Slayer!” Spike said, waving a hand in front of her face.

She didn’t move, just blinked again. It wasn’t enough for him. Spike snarled and kicked the wall.

“Bloody…! Angelus is gone! And I told you I wouldn’t touch you!”

In direct contrast of what he’d just said he gripped her shoulders and shook her. Still nothing, she didn’t even blink now. He let her go and she slumped against the wall again.

“Whatever!” He raised his hands in defeat. “You just do whatever you want.”

He sat down on the bed and removed his boots. His t-shirt landed on the floor, but he halted when he reached the belt clasp. If she decided to flee it wouldn’t do to run around starkers in the hall. He pulled the blinds over the window and threw himself onto the bed.


***


She didn’t know where she was. The room was almost completely dark after the vampire covered the window. She suspected that it meant the sun was rising.

She wasn’t cold. For the first time she wasn’t cold. Something heavy lay around her shoulders, something the vampire had put there. She had no idea why. He had yelled at her for a while, and then he’d seemed to just give up and walked over to the bed. Right now, he was asleep; she could hear his deep breathing. That was weird. Never before had she known a vampire to breath, he most definitely hadn’t.

She’d been sitting on the floor for a very long time. The vampire would most likely wake up soon. She wasn’t tired anymore. Her arms didn’t hurt. This forgotten feeling almost scared her.

There were movements from the bed and she flinched. The one who lay in it rolled over onto his back and yawned loudly, before sitting up.

“Haven’t moved, have you?” His voice was husky from sleep and she flinched again.

Slowly the vampire stood and stretched. She watched him out of the corner of an eye as he began to walk towards her.

“It didn’t occur to you... I dunno, wash up or something?” he said. “Vampire noses are pretty sensitive, but I suppose you know that.”

She did know that. Wash up, was that what hadn’t occurred to her?

“Well, you bloody well can’t just sit there!”

She wanted to melt into the wall.

“Come on.” He said and grabbed her forearm.

He literally dragged her into the bathroom. It was small with white tile and the sharp light hurt her eyes after so many hours in the dark. Well in there he held her up with one arm around her middle as the other ripped the shirt of her body. In the light she felt more naked than she’d done when he had been lying on top of her, holding her down as he thrust inside her.

“Can you stand on your own?” he asked.

When she didn’t respond a low, irritated growl rumbled through his chest. He pushed her inside the shower and she fell to the floor. Her head hit the tile and dizziness washed over her for a few seconds. That was all the time the vampire needed to get rid of his jeans and step in after her. Next there was warm water streaming over her. She found herself lifting her head so it would flow over her face. He reached for her again and helped her sit up. She turned against the water anew.

“Feels good, huh, pet?”

She directed her attention to him and blinked. Then again. A pair of eyes. Blue colour. She wanted to touch it. Her hand flexed and he saw it; the eyes lit up for a second.

“That’s it,” he murmured. “Now I’ll just clean you up, yeah? You’ll feel even better once all that grime is gone.”

Hands all over her body; her scalp, face, shoulders, breasts, arms, between her legs, thighs, calves, feet. At last he rose to his feet and pulled her up to rinse her. It felt like the water was shut off all too soon and she shivered. If it was because of the cold or not she wasn’t sure. The vampire draped a towel over her shoulders and when he took a step backwards to dry himself, she stood. Her legs trembled but she stood. He grinned at her and the pretty blue sparkled.

“Just what you needed?” he said as he dressed himself in the jeans again.

Soon he stepped forward to roughly dry her and then he took her arm and led her back into the room. She managed to take six steps before her legs gave out. He caught her before she crashed to the floor. Muttering something under his breath, the vampire placed her on the bed.

“Sorry, I don’t have anything girly.” The vampire handed her a black t-shirt. He rolled his eyes when she made no move to take it and pulled it over her head himself.


***


What was he supposed to do with her? The girl in question sat on the bed with her eyes fixed on the floor. She didn’t appear as lost now as when he had brought her here, no, she’d actually stood on her own two feet. But now what? Spike started to pace. If she didn’t come back to herself... how in hell was she supposed to fight? Should he take her home and hold a close eye on her until she recovered? Or keep her here and take care of her as best as he could? Weren’t Slayers supposed to have faster healing than normal humans, mentally as well as physically?

Abruptly he spun around and went over to kneel before the girl, as he rested his hands on the bed on either side of her. She looked up at him, right into his eyes and he felt a sparkle of hope begin to burn.

“Look, Slayer,” he said. “I really don’t know what to do with you. Do you think I should take you home or...?”

The only answer was a twitch in the corner of her mouth, Spike took that as a sign of that she was listening.

“The faster you recover the better,” he mumbled, more to himself than to her. “Don’t think that I’ll forget your promise to me though. I’ll keep a close eye on you.”

A very close eye.

He lifted his head and his gaze met hers. She didn’t look away, just kept on staring and he couldn’t help but stare back. He caught himself raising a hand to touch her hair and shook his head.

“Yeah, that’s what I’ll do,” he murmured. “Take you home.”

Wait. He didn’t even know the chit’s name and she hadn’t said one fucking word so far. How was he supposed to know where she lived?

“Bugger.”

He stood up and... News. Missing girl, there had to be something; papers, telly... That was what you did when your kid disappeared, wasn’t it?

“I’ll be back in a sec, love.”

He locked the door behind him as he left the room.

‘Something’ wasn’t the word to call it. The placards showed a picture of a pretty blonde with a wide smile, who he barley recognized as the girl he had stolen. The mother was obviously begging the kidnapper to step forward or some shit like that. Spike rolled his eyes as he scanned through the article in the newspaper.

“Hey! You gonna pay for that?”

The highly irritated voice belonged to a middle aged man. The smell of blood was suddenly overwhelming. It had been three days since he’d fed and the two of them were alone in the small shop. Spike took a step forward and slipped into game face.


***


1630 Revello Drive. Spike stopped the car and looked over at the girl sitting in the passenger seat. Her name was Buffy. It had to be one of the most ridiculous names he had ever heard. Yet, Joyce Summers had obviously found it perfect for her only daughter. There was a light on in the house even though it was past midnight; the woman must be awake.

“We’re here, pet,” Spike said and wondered for the thousandth time if this was the right decision. Should he really let her out of his sight? What if the mother decided to move? After this encounter, with her child missing for days, that seemed very plausible.

Still, he stepped out and walked around the car to open the passenger door. The girl was staring at the house. Was that... recognition? Maybe this was what was needed to get her to really snap out of herself.

“Hey, Slayer?” She turned to him. “You know this place?”

Her gaze was in his, but she said nothing. He hadn’t really expected her to. He gripped her arm to pull her out of the car.

“No.”

The voice was no more than a whisper, but firm, strong. His hold loosened but he didn’t step back. The Slayer wasn’t in her right mind. She’d rather stay with a vampire, the same sort of creature that had raped and tortured her, than in her own home with her mother? But her hesitation made his thoughts spin again. Stupid bint. He began to pull on her.

“No.”

It wasn’t a whisper any longer. It was a woman’s voice, a demand. Spike tilted his head and looked at her.

“No? ‘No, you don’t want to go inside’?”

She didn’t answer.

“Well, you bloody well are! I‘m not gonna take care of you!” He came close to shouting and forced himself to lower his voice, “I got you out of there, it’s you who owe me now, Slayer.”

He meant to grab her again but she pulled away, as far as she could in the seat anyway, and he halted. Straightening he slammed the door shut and kicked the car in the wheel before walking around it and slipping back into the driver seat. He sighed deeply.

“So what do you suggest, huh?” he asked. “I take you away and we live happily ever after? Do you even realise that you could be tucked up in your own bed right now?”

Still nothing.

“Sodding....! Listen, alright?”

He gripped her chin and roughly forced her to look at him. For a second he thought he saw a glint of fear flash over her features, but then it was gone and she was just... nothing. He took hold of her shoulders instead and shook her. Still no reaction. Spike forced himself to take a deep breath.

“You’re going into that house. Right. Now.”

What had he been thinking? Listen to the girl?

This time Spike did not hesitate a second as he pulled the Slayer out. She stumbled and would’ve fallen if he hadn’t held her. Putting his arm around her waist he led her towards the door. She trembled against him.


***


Memories of white walls flashed before her eyes. A man with a dark beard who looked at her as if she was four years old. Feminine voices “Buffy, it’s time for your medicine”, women with clothes as white as the wall.

I won’t go back there.

She stopped but the vampire didn’t give away. They were in front of the door. The sound of knocking seemed to echo in the night. After that; tears and arms who desperately pressed a body against her. Mom. Mom with dark shadows beneath her eyes and who looked at the vampire like he was the world’s saviour.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Mom said and embraced the vampire too.

He was taken aback by that, probably he’d just wanted to sneak away in the quiet. There were talk about the police and calling people and questions. Still, it didn’t take long for Mom to become silent and look at her.

“Honey, how are you?” Mom gave a shaky laugh. “Stupid question, isn’t it? Of course you’re not alright.”

The vampire shook his head and smiled politely, then said something and did his ‘sneak away’- thing. She forced her mouth to open.

“I’m better now, Mom.” she said, her voice hoarse and small. “I’m home.”


***


He watched from the shadows how the Slayer stepped inside the house with her mother. The older woman’s arm was wrapped securely around her daughter’s shoulders and her lips were moving. Spike didn’t give a damn about what she said. He’d heard the girl speak though. It seemed like the mother could be the key for her to come back to herself. With one last glance at the house he turned around and walked away.


TBC