Disclaimer: Yes, I own all of them, in fact I am Joss Whedon myself writing fan-fic incognito to express my deepest hidden thoughts. Of course is Spike mine, mine alone and I don’t share.
Hm, I was told that lying was nothing a lady should indulge in, but as I use to call it, not telling the whole truth is not a lie. Sadly that was one of them hiding truths thingies, so please don’t sue, me truly own nothing but my computer this was written on and the crazy mind that cooked up this little story. Joss is still God and I shall bow down before his Greatness.
Author’s notes: This is my response to this challenge I’ve read several wonderful stories about. But since I noticed that they are all a bit dark in nature, I decided to go for something lighter; something with a little more humour in it. This is parody, baby!
Spoilers: Way Post 'Dead Things', but before 'Hells Bells'. In fact after 'Dead Things' kinda nothing did happen exactly like on the show. Also, nothing really spoilery beyond that since hadn't seen these episodes yet when starting on this fic. Also, the Willow/Tara break-up? Didn't happen in my universe.
Special thanks to my wonderful fun beta Kiva, you always make me write these wonderful comedies and encourage me to write even more and to the person who issued the challenge.
Spike’s brain
by Belladonna
~Prologue~
The Hellmouth on the Edge of Forever
I am the Watcher.
It is my sacred and sworn duty to look out over the Chosen One, for she alone has been destined to slay vampires and other forces of evil that are crawling around in the darkness of a never ending night.
And right here, on the Mouth of Hell that Sunnydale resides on, they have gathered, trying to best her. They walk amongst the unsuspicious humans, their features, their true faces disguised underneath their human masks and waiting for their prey to come out.
I am her Guardian.
I have been chosen to train her in how to perform her duty best; to guide her in her eternal fight against the dark ones, the creatures of the night.
I am never to interfere in her fight, but only to give guidance and support where and when it is deemed necessary.
It is my duty and I will fulfil it with my heart and soul because it is what is demanded from me. I will do it with the same compassion and devotion that those before me had performed it and will continue to do so when I will be no more.
I am there to simply watch from my assigned place and to never intervene, no matter at what cost.
…
“Cut the crap, Giles and on with the story already!”
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!