Spike is in the school basement sitting on the floor being talked to by The First who he thinks is Cassie. The First is trying to drive Spike more insane and is doing a good job of it. As soon as he got back from helping Cassie, Spike is being taunted by The First who looks like Cassie and told him he failed. He is feeling guilty that he let her down and Buffy.
The First/Cassie: You did a fine job of helping me today Spike. I was your average teenage girl with everyday hopes and dreams. I didn’t have the perfect family household because my parents were divorced but I had parents who loved me. It’s too bad I’ll never get to see them again. There was so much I wanted to experience but will never be able to. This was this guy I was hoping was going to ask me to the dance but I’ll never get the chance to go. Spike are you even listening?
Spike: I am so sorry. I couldn’t protect the girl. I am useless. I do nothing but hurt the girl.
The First/Cassie: I know you let me down but the important thing was that you tried. You tried your best didn’t you Spike?
Spike: I had to help. No hurting the girl. I hurt the girl. Now I killed the girl.
The First/Cassie: Got that right Spike. I wouldn’t be here down with you if I wasn’t dead would I. But you didn’t actually kill me though it was those other creeps who killed me. Do you want to know how it happened?
Spike: No. I don’t want to know how they hurt you.
The First/Cassie: Well I think that you really should hear how I died. Buffy did try and help but it was a little too late. See when you got up and left one of those guys killed me with a bow and arrow. She did all she could to save me but I was already dead.
Spike: Should have stayed. I could have saved her.
The First/Cassie: Maybe if you would have stayed just a little bit longer I would still be alive. I guess I got no one to blame but you. But being dead does give me forever to work on my poems. Would you like to hear my new poem I wrote? I wrote it after I died.
Spike: I don’t hear you. I don’t hear poems from the dead one.
The First/Cassie: Spike I have a name it’s Cassie. I really think you should hear it. It’s new and I need some feedback even if it’s from you.
Spike: Can’t too much. Pain is too much.
The First/Cassie: Another time maybe. I got all the time in the world being dead. Maybe I’ll see you in a little while. I know where to find you. Bye Spike (disappears).
Spike: No more. Can’t help because I always hurt the girl, no making the girls cry. They always cry because of me. No more fighting. I must pay for hurting the girl again.
Cut to:
Buffy is finishing up with her last student for the day and decides she needs to see if he is still in the school basement. She walks over to the basement door entrance and looks for him. Spike is still in the basement and he sees Buffy walking toward him. He tries to hide from her and but has nowhere to go so he sits against a chain linked fence. She walks up to him.
Spike: I don’t trust what I see anymore. I keep seeing people and hearing voices. I hear voices of different people. I don’t know what to believe anymore. I don’t know if I can continue to fight this before I go completely sack of hammers like Dru. I am starting to see things like her now.
Buffy: Spike.
Spike: This thing Buffy whatever it is beneath us is bad. I’m in deep trouble with it.
Buffy: I can help you.
Spike: I could never ask you not after…
Buffy: It’s different. You’re different.
Spike: Am I? How could I ever ask you for anything?
Buffy: Spike, it’s me. It’s you and me, and we’ll get through this.
Spike: No…
Buffy: We’ll get through this.
Spike sees someone else coming toward him and its Buffy.
Buffy: Spike. This basement is killing you. This is the Hellmouth. There is something bad down here, possibly everything bad.
Spike: (looks up at Buffy and then back down) I can’t hear you. Can’t hear you.
Buffy: You have a soul? Fine. Show me.
Spike: Say what you like pet but I deserve to be here.
Buffy: Get up and get out of this basement.
Spike: I have nowhere else to go. This is where I belong. Old evil William stays on the Hellmouth.
Buffy: I am not listening to this. I am tried of you feeling sorry for yourself. Come with me because I am taking you out of here.
Spike: Bloody sunshine and paradise.
Buffy: (sighs) No. I’m taking you to Xander’s.
Spike: Can’t leave really, this is my new home. Where I deserve to stay.
Buffy: Is there something keeping you down here?
Spike: From beneath you it devours. Its coming Buffy.
Buffy: I know that Spike. That’s why I need your help. Get out of this basement so you can help us.
Spike: Thanks for stopping by. This one’s on me. Go gallop away on your high horse now.
Buffy: Spike of all the things. I know that you are a lot of things Spike but now I can add something new to the list. And that’s quitter. Are you quitting on me Spike? Are you just gonna let this thing beat us while you stay down here in your grave of pity. We are in the fight of our lives and I need your help now more than ever.
Spike: Can’t be of any use to you because I always hurt the girl. Hurt too many to be of much use.
Buffy: Spike you didn’t hurt me this time. You just disappointed me.
Spike: Anything else to say? Can I be in peace with all the rest?
Buffy: (sighs) You were better when you didn’t have a soul. At least he was still able to fight back. All you can do is just sit here. See you around Spike (leaves).
Cut to:
Buffy arrives back home at her house and goes straight to her room. She has a seat on her bed and wonders if Spike will snap out of whatever he’s going through. Spike is going through a lot right now and Buffy is beginning to realize how bad it must be for him. He got his soul for her and now it’s causing him so much pain and hurt. She is starting to realize that he will forever be a changed person now that he has a soul. But she doesn’t know what he has changed into. Will he be stuck in the basement forever? She really needs Spike right now in this fight that she’s in but she knows that she can’t force him to help. It seems like he’s given up and doesn’t want any of her help. But she has other things that she needs to focus on right now. Xander walks in.
Xander: So when are we going to pick up my new house guest?
Buffy: He’s going to stay in the basement. He doesn’t want to leave.
Xander: Great, nice dark basement. And away from me works out perfectly. Now I don’t have to worry about him cramping my style. Not that it was all that great to begin with but…
Buffy: Spike still needs our help Xander. Something is making him crazy in the basement. I don’t know if it’s just his soul or what but he needs help.
Xander: Perhaps the psychic hotline or the suicide hotline for evil vampires who like to kill and attempt to ra…
Buffy: (cuts him off) Xander!
Xander: Look if he wants to stay in the basement that’s his decision. I think that right now he is far away from us and especially you. Let him has his fun in basement as long as he isn’t hurting you.
Buffy: Something is going on with him and we need to help him. I think that he needs a little more time to figure it out for himself. I am not just going to leave him there.
Cut to:
Spike is roaming around the basement and is being followed by himself. He sees an exact image of himself and knows that he can’t face looking at another Spike. Finally Spike is cornered by The First and he starts talking to him.
The First/Spike: You know you should have taken up the Slayer on her offer.
Spike: You are not him.
The First/Spike: The Slayer really thinks she can stop us. But I am coming and it shall be fun watching her fail.
Spike: No we don’t hurt her. We don’t hurt Buffy. No one hurts Buffy.
The First/Spike: You really think that you can help her. You can’t help yourself. You enjoy being down here don’t you.
Spike: Belong here. All evil beings are down here. No other place for me. Hate this place and I hate me. I need to be in control again. I need these voices to stop. No good to anyone until the voices stop.
The First/Spike: But we killed all those voices Spike. I watched your face when you did it. You enjoyed every bit of the crying and the screams we caused. Now you want them to stop.
Spike: I was different then. I was a monster. All a monster could do then was killing. And I killed but now I can’t enjoy what I did. It’s too much blood for one monster. Too many screams. They all cried because it’s no fun if they don’t cry. I hate making them cry now.
The First/Spike: You can’t tell me that our time in Europe wasn’t the best of show. Remember you didn’t do it just for us. You did it for (morphs into Druscilla) me.
Spike: No. You are not her.
The First/Druscilla: Poor weakling you are. All the screams for me. I loved them. How you made the little ones scream for mummy and daddy. Always shared them with me.
Spike: I did that because it was what you wanted. Screams were not for me only you. Now they won’t stop.
The First/Druscilla: You want the screams to stop. Flying through your head. I can make them stop.
Spike: Please make them stop. Make it so I don’t hurt anymore.
The First/Druscilla: Can’t not for you. Not yet. You made me very angry. You left me for her. Now she doesn’t want you. No one wants you. Little Spike is all alone.
Spike: Tell me how to make them stop. They won’t stop every since I got it back. It only burns now with hurt.
The First morphs back into Spike.
The First/Spike: I didn’t want that bloody spark in me. You just thought you get back our soul and the Slayer would jump in our arms. It’s all bloody your fault why we are here.
Spike: I thought it was what she wanted. What she needed. The only thing I didn’t have that made me fit.
The First/Spike: We kill her kind. We kill Slayers and you go off and fall in love with one you bloody disappoint me. I was once a great warrior. I killed so many and left my mark everywhere I went. Now you bloody ruined the whole party. First the chip. Can’t hurt another living person. So what, I should start fighting demons. I am a demon. Then you have the guff to fight along with the Slayer instead of killing her. You lost your fire. The passion for the kill.
Spike: The chip stopped me from hurting anyone. I didn’t ask for it. It was what they put into me. Fighting was the only thing I was good at. So I fought demons because I couldn’t hurt her. I longed to kill her then but now I see things clearer. I have the fire and it burns inside me. Only thing it does is burn.
The First/Spike: This soul of yours is the real deal. You thought it wasn’t going to hurt once you got it back. I was quite happy without one. But I know what you really want. You think it’s gone but it never goes away. We might have a soul but it still breathes inside you. The need for the kill.
Spike: No. I need this to stop. I need these voices to stop.
The First/Spike: I can help stop the pain. The hurt and all of it. But you have to do something for me.
Spike: I can’t hurt anymore. I don’t want to cause anymore hurt.
The First/Spike: All you have to do is be your true self again. Once you do we can both be happy again.
Spike: I am a new man now. I don’t want to do that anymore. Nothing you can say will change that.
The First/Spike: What would mum think of us now?
Spike: Mum?
Cut to:
Buffy is in the living room with Willow and Dawn. They are discussing how they need to find out more information about what they are going up against. Buffy suggests that they are going to need a lot more help.
Dawn: We got only what like five people on our side right now.
Buffy: That’s why we need all the help we can get right now. I already tried to get a hold of Giles and no luck so far.
Willow: We still don’t know exactly what we are up against Buffy. So far we only got your dreams to go off of and my feelings too that something bad is coming.
Buffy: We don’t know when Xander and Anya are going to be ready to help out in full force so we need to give them some space right now. But there is someone that we need to help right now. We need him in this fight. We need Spike. (they both look at Buffy) He needs our help right now. He’s going crazy in the basement.
Willow: Last time I checked crazy vampires don’t make the best help. They are after all― crazy.
Dawn: Why should we help him at all? Let him stay down there in the basement.
Buffy: It’s not just a basement Dawn it’s the Hellmouth. Something is keeping him down there. He’s different now since he came back. I know it.
Willow: He has a soul now.
Buffy: Yes, and that’s why we need to help him.
Dawn: What does that mean exactly? He has a soul but he’s still Spike isn’t he?
Buffy: I don’t know what it means really. But I know that it can’t be easy for him right now.
Dawn: Why are you so worried about Spike right now? You are not going to start up the whole…
Buffy: No, a thousand servings of no. It’s different. I know he wants to help but he can’t right now.
Willow: Why did he decide to stay in the basement? Did he suddenly develop a Xander allergy?
Buffy: Whatever it is it’s driving him crazy. Something is messing with him big time.
Cut to:
The First is talking to Spike trying to get him under their control. Spike is trying to fight back but is having a hard time doing so.
The First/Spike: You haven’t forgotten about her have you?
Spike: Please no bringing her up. She’s gone and there’s no need to bring up the past.
The First/Spike: You killed her, not me. I wanted to make her well. But you were the one to kill her.
Spike: I had to. She was completely mad. I couldn’t let anyone see her like that.
The First/Spike: Do you hear her in your head? Can you hear what she is telling you?
Spike: Not listening to her. She has no words for me.
The First/Spike: All the women in our lives sing songs. Such lovely tunes, pleasing to the ears aren’t they. You remember my song don’t you (morphs into Druscilla) let them scream for me. Louder! Louder! Oh you are making this so delicious Spike.
Spike: Don’t sing to your tune anymore.
The First/Druscilla: You are so weak now. Who made you so weak. I know who make my Spike so weak (morphs into Buffy) it was me.
Spike: Not helping luv. None of you is helping at all. I need to stop them. Stop the hurt.
The First/Buffy: Spike I don’t think anyone is listening to your babbling. I don’t listen to anything you say. You really need some serious help Spike. I know that you want me to help you.
Spike: I do need your help. I’ll do what you ask if you make the voices stop.
The First/Buffy: Are you ready to become who I know you are? You ready to get to work Spike. First thing I need you to do is get out of this basement and get some fresh air.
Spike: If I do this will the hurt stop. Will I stop them from talking to me.
The First/Buffy: Yes Spike, it will all get better for you and me. Come on and let’s go for a walk.
Spike walks out of the basement and is followed by The First.
Cut to:
Spike is walking around the college campus at night. He isn’t going anywhere in particular and seems to be walking around aimlessly. He takes a seat on a bench and The First sits next to him.
The First/Buffy: I love this place. So many different types of people in one place and time is great. I think that you should get to know someone here.
Spike: No one is here. It’s just the two of us and them. You said the voices would stop and the hurt would go away.
The First/Buffy: Spike I did say that didn’t I? Well Spike like I said earlier if you just let go and be the person I know you to be everything will become so much simpler. Everything will be clear. Just like old times.
Spike: Where should I look? Where can I find it? Is it here?
The First/Buffy: You’re just in luck. Look over there (points) do you see her. She has everything you’ve been looking for. Why don’t we go and have a chat with her.
Spike: She can take the hurt away? She has the power to do that? (stands) I’ll ask her to take the pain away.
Spike starts to walk toward a college girl who is walking alone back toward her place. She doesn’t notice Spike who is slowly catching up with her. She is walking along a small path on campus and Spike catches up to her.
Spike: You really shouldn’t be here walking alone.
College Girl: (starts walking faster) Kinda noticed that. I really need to get back it’s late.
Spike: But she said you have something for me.
College Girl: Uh what are you talking about? Who said I have something for you? I don’t know even know who you are or what your name is?
Spike: (walks in front of her) Right I’m Spike. I need your help.
College Girl: Spike, I don’t know you so please get out of my way.
Spike: Please help me. She said that you would do it. Help me and I’ll leave.
College Girl: (tries to walk around him) I’m sorry but I can’t give you what you need, whatever it is. I have to go.
Spike: (grabs her arm) What’s your name. I need to know your name because you are the one who is going to make them stop. Help me stop the hurt.
College Girl: It’s Jasmine. Let go of me or I’m gonna scream.
Spike: (lets her go) Jasmine make them go away. She said you could.
Jasmine runs away from Spike. He stands there for a second and doesn’t know what to do.
Spike: Why did she leave you said that she was going to help?
The First/Buffy: You need to follow her before she gets away. Hurry up now before she gets home.
Spike takes off after her and is in pursuit of Jasmine who panics as she sees Spike following her. She runs behind a building and tries to hide behind a dumpster. Spike knows she nearby and goes immediately to her. She screams as Spike grabs her and pushes her up against a wall.
Jasmine: (cries) Please let me go.
Spike: I don’t want the hurt. Make the voices go away.
Jasmine: I don’t know what you want me to do. I can’t do that for you.
Spike: (pushes her up against the wall again) I just need them to stop. They won’t stop.
Jasmine: Please your hurting me.
The First/Buffy: It doesn’t look like she wants to help you. Maybe you need to teach her a lesson.
Spike: (turns his head) Why doesn’t she want to help me? I thought you said she would make it better.
The First/Buffy: Well I did too but she is just being a selfish bitch. You know what I want you to do.
Spike: I can’t. Don’t want to cause anymore hurt.
Jasmine: Then let me go.
The First/Buffy: Go on and make her pay. You know you wanna. Go and be the man I know you are. It’s so easy you’ve done it so many times before. Once you do you’ll feel better I promise.
Spike: No, not like this.
The First/Buffy: What did I say Spike? Just do this little thing and everything will be like it was. Just one bite, I won’t tell anyone.
Spike: (yells) No! (let’s go of Jasmine) I can’t hurt anymore.
Jasmine runs away scared. Spike just stands there punching the wall in anger.
The First/Buffy: I thought it was what you wanted.
Spike: No more hurt to stop the hurt.
The First/Buffy: What makes you think you have a choice here? I was gonna make it easy for you make it real simple but you messed that up. Now we have to do it the hard way.
Spike: I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m gonna stop listening to you.
The First/Buffy: Will you listen to me then (morphs into Spike’s mother) son you don’t look well. Want me to make it all better.
Spike sees his mother and runs off. The First just stands there and smiles.
Cut to:
Buffy is at the school and is ready to go home but decides she needs to see Spike. She gets up and walks toward the basement door and enters. She has a look around and doesn’t see him so she calls out for him. She doesn’t get an answer so she decides that maybe he needs some more time to think things through. She goes back up the stairs and leaves.
Cut to:
Spike is back in a small corner of the basement and is walking around in circles trying to make the voices stop. Suddenly The First shows up and talks to him.
The First/Spike: You know this isn’t going to get better until you let us help you (morphs into Buffy) I really want to help you Spike. But you have to listen and do what I say.
Spike: No listening to you. I will not listen to you. I’d rather listen to them than to you.
The First/Buffy: You just gonna stay here forever and not let me help you. No one wants to help you. No one wants poor Spike. No one wants anything to do with you. But me.
Spike: (covers his ears) Not listening…
The First/Buffy: Fine Spike looks like we are gonna have to find someone you will listen to (morphs into his Mother).
Spike: You are not my mother.
The First/Mother: William I want you to know that I forgive you my son for killing me. You made me so proud by turning me into a creature of the night. I’d only wish that I could have experienced more of it.
Spike: I’m sorry for what I did to you. I made a horrible mistake. That life wasn’t meant for you.
The First/Mother: Son you always made me proud. I could always trust you could make the right decisions in life. I taught you well.
Spike: Stop this. Mother this isn’t you. I don’t want to remember you like this. You were always a kind woman. Not the demon that I remember.
The First/Mother: Is that what you think of me now? I am demon to you. I gave you life and you gave me another life. But you also ended it.
Spike: (walks away) I am not gonna talk about this with you.
The First/Mother: Do you remember how I used to walk you to school every morning? Everyday I walked little William to school hand and hand. You never wanted to let me go once we were at school. You said to me “Mother please don’t leave me. I don’t want to go to school today. The other children are mean”. What did I tell you son how you must be a big boy now. You were a young man and you still asked me to walk you to school. Did I ever tell you no? Now you don’t want to listen to your own mother. You are such a terrible son to disobey his mother.
Spike: Mother please…I don’t want this.
The First/Mother: Son can you grant one last wish to your poor old mother. Just one last thing and I will leave and be in peace. Don’t you want me to be at peace dear William.
Spike: I do, but you are not her. I know that you are not her. My mother was a great woman that never talked to me this way. She had the kindest touch and the most beautiful voice. Not like you.
The First/Mother: How must I prove it to you son? I know how I can make everything better just like I used to before I became sick. Do you remember how?
Spike: No. I don’t want to hear it…
The First/Mother: I’ll sing your favorite song for you William. You haven’t forgotten it have you. It was your favorite song I sang you since I gave birth to you.
Spike: (covers his ears and starts rambling to himself) All I want is this to go away…all a terrible nightmare…wake up…wake up…wake up…
The First/Mother: (starts singing) Early one morning…just as the sun was rising…
Spike: (starts to throw stuff around) Stop this…
The First/Mother: (continues singing) Oh don’t deceive me…oh never leave me…
Spike: (vamps out and continues to throw and break things) Please, stop this mother…
The First/Mother: (singing) How could you use a poor maiden so…
Spike: (continues to break things) Enough I do what you ask if you stop.
The First/Mother: That’s my William…that’s what mother was looking for. Are you ready to make mother proud one last time…
Spike: As always…
Cut to:
Buffy goes home and has a talk with Willow about Spike.
Willow: Are you sure that you want Spike around? Can we really trust him?
Buffy: I know he wants to help but something is happening to him. We need him in this fight.
Willow: Buffy if he’s crazy like you said I’m not sure if he will make the best partner in this.
Buffy: Look he helped earlier like with the guy Anya turned into a worm and he helped with trying to save Cassie. I know he wants to help. He’s just going through some stuff right now and we need to help him. I tried to look for him earlier and I couldn’t find him and it’s starting to worry me.
Willow: Do you think he is on the loose. Crazy vampire walking around would definitely be making more headlines wouldn’t he?
Buffy: He doesn’t want to hurt anyone. He’s can’t anyways if he wanted to. Remember the chip. But him walking around by himself does scare me a little though.
Willow: Are you sure that he wasn’t in the basement?
Buffy: I had a look around but I didn’t see him. I don’t know where he would go though. I think I need to have a look for him. I’m going to go patrol and see if I run into him. Can you stay here if he happens to come by?
Willow: What do you want me to do if he shows up, lock him up here until you get back?
Buffy: No just keep him busy until I get back. I don’t think he will show up here though. Thanks Will (leaves).
Cut to:
Spike is walking around the streets and is followed by The First. They walk toward the Bronze. They wait across the street and The First tells him not to go in but to wait outside for someone to come out. Someone walks out alone and The First tells him to follow. A guy walks toward his car and Spike walks up to him.
Spike: I’m sorry I can’t do this.
Guy: Excuse me. Can I help you?
Spike: This is too much for me. Please don’t make me do this.
The First/Spike: You remember what Mother said. Now do what she asks.
Spike vamps out and the guy gets scared and tries to run. But Spike grabs him and slams him into the car. He throws him on the floor and picks him up. He tries to bite him but hesitates. The First starts to sing and Spike goes crazy and bites him. The First smiles as he watches him. Spike suddenly drops the guy and realizes what he done. He runs off in shock.
Cut to:
Spike is back in the basement in disbelief to what happened. He doesn’t believe what he just did. He starts talking to himself.
Spike: Wasn’t me…really wasn’t…can’t be me…I know I didn’t…not hardly useful…
He continues to talk to himself for awhile.
Cut to:
Buffy the next morning turns on the news and sees a newsflash about someone who was killed by a neck wound. The victim looks as if something or someone bite him and he died from massive blood lost. Buffy is shocked to hear this and wonders to herself if Spike had anything to do with this. She immediately turns off the TV when Dawn comes in.
Dawn: Ready to go Buffy.
Buffy: (calms herself) Yeah be right with you.
Cut to:
Buffy is at her desk and is wondering about Spike all day. She keeps looking at the clock to see if school is over so she can look for Spike again in the basement. Finally school is over and she goes immediately to the basement looking for Spike. She looks for Spike and calls out for him. She again doesn’t see him but she continues to look for him. Buffy finds him sitting against a wall in the basement. He doesn’t move or react to seeing her.
Buffy: Spike I need to talk to you. Spike…
Spike just sits there staring blankly ahead.
Buffy: (sighs) Spike I have to ask you this. Where were you last night? I was looking for you yesterday and I couldn’t find you. Did you leave and go somewhere?
Spike continues to ignore Buffy. She starts to get angry and crouches next to him.
Buffy: What’s wrong with you Spike? What’s going on? What’s happening to you down here?
Suddenly The First appears behind Buffy. Spike looks up to look and Buffy sees his reaction to something and talks to him again.
Buffy: I want you to leave and get out of this basement whatever is happening to you is doing this to you down here. This basement can’t be good for you.
Spike: (to The First) I did what you wanted and the pain went away but only for a second. I don’t think I could do this anymore.
Buffy: Did you finally get out of this basement? Where did you go last night?
Spike: (to The First) Why didn’t the hurt stop? Why did you lie to me?
Buffy: Tell me what happened? I’m not leaving until you tell me what happened last night.
The First/Buffy: Tell me Spike I so want to hear what you did last night.
Spike: (covers his ears) Not listening…I don’t hear you…
Buffy: (stands) You need more help than I think I can give you right now. I’ll check back on you later (leaves).
The First/Buffy: I did exactly what you asked to me to do Spike. You wanted the pain to go away and it did. Right when you sang your teeth into that guy last night. Wasn’t it great not to feel that hurt anymore? Now all you have to do is keep on doing it and eventually the hurt will go away forever. Doesn’t that sound like a plan Spike?
Cut to:
Buffy is home talking to Dawn and Xander telling them that Spike needs her help now more than ever.
Buffy: Guys Spike is in serious trouble and needs our help. I think he went out last night and left the basement by himself and he must’ve done something bad. I’m just not sure what.
Xander: Crazy vampires roaming freely, definitely not good news.
Dawn: What do insane vampires like to do for fun? I doubt he could go anywhere and not make a scene.
Buffy: We need to drag him out of that basement and so he can tell us what been happening to him. Xander we’re gonna need to bring him to your place.
Xander: Look I know nimrod can’t hurt me. But I’m not sure he is completely house trained to stay at my place.
Buffy: Xander he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. I know it. He’s just adjusting to his new soul.
Dawn: Not having a soul since forever and then getting one must do stuff to you.
Buffy: He keeps talking like he’s there but not there sometimes. It’s like he keeps hearing voices in his head and has to respond to them.
Xander: At least he will never be lonely. He has a talk radio show inside his head that never ends.
Buffy: Xander I need you to go home and make things ready for Spike to stay there. Dawn I want you to go to bed.
Dawn: Why it’s still so early?
Buffy: Please Dawn just go to bed. Are you ready Xander?
Xander: Ready for the Oscar nominated craziest vampire of the year, sure you bet.
Cut to:
Spike is in the basement feeling extremely guilty for what he did. The First is not making things any easier on him as he tries to block out all the voices in his head from talking to him.
The First/Buffy: Spike how long you are just gonna sit here while I have already told you how to stop all those voices in your head. The ball has already started rolling Spike. I know that the need is still building up inside you. How about we go and fill that need some more tonight?
Spike: Can’t do it, much to busy to handle that. Please go away.
The First/Buffy: Spike you always have time for me don’t you. I know a place that is perfect this time at night. Let’s take a walk down the promenade. There are plenty of people who can help you. They can feed your need and make the voices go away.
Spike: Don’t like that idea much. Too much pain involved. Through with the pain, through with all of it. Through with you.
The First/Buffy: How could you say a thing like that? You wanted me to help you and I did. You wanted the voices and the pain to stop and it did. I did exactly what you asked me to do. Come on Spike. I can make them go away forever.
Spike: How exactly? How much more pain must I cause to stop mine? Not bloody worth. Not in the least bit worth it.
The First/Buffy: They will only get louder Spike the more you hold out. I am offering you a way out. You can be on the first cab off this insanity road of yours. If you don’t start now there is nothing anyone can do to save you. Do you know why the moment you sang your teeth into that guy last night everything was quiet. Only when you embrace the need inside you will it go away. Then they won’t bother you anymore.
Spike: There has to be another way. Can’t be the only exit. Must be another one around. I can’t accept this any further.
The First/Buffy: You’re the only one not seeing the big picture here Spike. What are those voices in your head telling you? Aren’t they saying that you are a killer? You know you are so accept it. I know you are and I always believe that you will be. The only person fighting this you. (morphs into Spike) I accept it but I can’t do it for the both of us anymore now can I. Your the last one mate.
Spike: Really not sure I can keep fighting this any longer. Who am I to argue with everyone? I’ve always made terrible decisions my whole life. You all must be right about me.
The First/Spike: How’s about we take a walk? Just the two of us.
Spike: Ok, I think I am beginning to understand now. I know what needs to be done.
Spike starts to walk out of the basement and is ready to do whatever is necessary to calm the voices and the hurt. He is determined to end his endless nightmare. So he starts to listen to The First and is no longer able to resist as everyone is calling him a killer and he starts to believe he still is one. He reaches the front of the school and Buffy sees him. She quickly walks up to him.
Buffy: Spike, off to another evening stroll. Mind if I tag along.
The First/Spike: Tell the Slayer that you are just going to have a night on the town and feeling better. No need for her putting you on a leash. Let her know you want her to piss off for now.
Spike: (nods) I’m feeling much better Buffy. I need some fresh air from the damn basement and I don’t need you to holding my hand while I go for a walk. I’m very capable of going out on my own.
Buffy: You seem a lot different than last time I saw you Spike. What’s going on? You were ready to give up last time I saw you. Now all of a sudden you are not attached at the hip to the basement anymore.
Spike: No need to worry luv. Now run along and be on your way. I need a bit of alone time while I go for a walk. I’ll be seeing you Buffy.
Buffy: Spike I think that you need some more time to figure things out. I don’t think that you need to be walking around by yourself in case something happens. Maybe you should come with me to Xander’s place and you can…
Spike: I don’t want your sympathy Buffy or your pity. I can take care of myself. I’m over that little bit of craziness I was going through in the basement earlier.
Buffy: I just want to help you. I want to make sure that you’re alright.
The First/Spike: Let us be on our way. The Slayer won’t stop us. Not much further until we can be ourselves again.
Spike walks off without acknowledging Buffy and just leaves her standing there. She decides to let him go but to follow him and make sure that he doesn’t get into any trouble. He heads toward the promenade looking for someone to take the pain away from him.
Cut to:
Spike is walking along the promenade looking for someone who catches his attention. The First is also with him walking behind him. He finally sees someone that he likes and goes over to her. He introduces himself and tells her that he would like to get to know her. She leaves with him and they walk over toward a bench and sit down. Buffy is watching them from a distance. She is peeking around the corner of a building watching what Spike is up to. She begins to get bored watching Spike and another woman talking and laughing. She wants to leave but then suddenly they both get up and she watches them walk away. They walk through a crowd of people and Buffy loses sight of them. She tries to look for them but can’t find them. Eventually Spike and the woman end up in an alley.
College Girl: So, your name is Spike. Is that a nick-name or what?
Spike: Just a name I gave myself long ago.
College Girl: Sounds like you have been a bad boy…
Spike: I’ve never been a bad boy. I’ll admit to being a bit naughty recently though.
College Girl: Hmm…what kinda naughty.
Spike: You really want to know?
Spike goes in to whisper in her ear when suddenly The First shows up behind her.
The First/Buffy: Tell me…no show me how naughty you’ve been.
Spike proceeds to bite the woman without The First singing to him. This is the time that Spike does it without thinking following his instincts. She tries to yell but no one can hear her. Finally Spike drinks all her can from her and lets her go. She’s dead and Spike looks over at The First.
The First/Buffy: See how easy that was? You don’t need my help anymore. You are becoming what I always said you were and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t think we should leave her here where someone might find her.
Spike proceeds to carry the woman away. Buffy eventually finds her way to the alley and finds no trace of either one of them because it is dark. She walks away disappointed that she couldn’t keep track of him and goes home.
Cut to:
Spike is back in the basement talking to The First. This time he doesn’t have any regrets as he feels his mind clearing finally of the voices that were haunting him.
The First/Spike: My work here is done. We finally are our old selves again. Doesn’t it feel great not to have to think about the hurt? All silenced because we are back. (morphs into Drusilla) Daddy, is it really you? You returned to mummy. Never forgot us. Our song will always play. Screams of joy will always play for us. But you found a new mummy to replace me. Just treat her like me. Make new mummy happy like you did me for so long. (morphs into Buffy) I really have to hand it to you. You’re really everything I thought you could be. No more this stupid act of trying to be noble. I always needed some bit of monster in my man and you’ve given it to me. Still no one is prouder of what you are than (morphs into his mother) me. William dearest, my song will always hum for you because I will always be a part of you. I will live on my son through my song and your blood. I carried you and brought you into this world of light. You helped bring me into the world of dark. I see things much clearer now. You too must keep on in this world to make mum proud. I am so proud of you to return to me. But I’m finally ready to let you go off into the world again. I’ve helped you my son and freed you from this torment of a soul. No longer will it harm you as long as you stay true to yourself. Goodbye my son. Mum will always love you (disappears).
Spike’s insanity has reached its peak as he fully believes in what he is doing. No longer does he feel any guilt or pain from his soul and memories. The First has convinced him that being a monster is the only way he can free himself.
Cut to:
Buffy once again ends her school day and goes to look for Spike. She finds him sitting calmly in a corner of the basement. She walks up to him to confront him about last night.
Buffy: So where did you end up going last night after we talked?
Spike: Took myself a nice walk along the promenade. Quite a soothing experience I must say.
Buffy: Did you did anything or talk to anyone?
Spike: Nothing special.
Buffy notices his calm and cool demeanor.
Buffy: You seem different somehow. Is everything Ok?
Spike: Doing fine and how are you.
Buffy: Much better now that I found you. It seemed for awhile that you were here but not here. Like some part of you was always off somewhere else. Yet I look at you now and wonder what happened and why the sudden change.
Spike: Everything always seems a bit clearer after you can finally accept things for how they are. I know who I am and accept everything that comes along with it now. No more pain because my soul is finally giving me peace.
Buffy: I’m glad to hear that so does that mean you are finally gonna come out of this basement. Will you finally help me in this fight I’m in against whatever is beneath us?
Spike: I’ll be glad to do what I do best. I can leave now as there is no reason for me to stay here.
Buffy: Great you’re coming with me to Xander’s place.
Spike: Nice to see that I’m moving up in the world. You sure that bloke wants me as his room mate?
Buffy: We’ve talked it over and it will be fine. He’s expecting you.
They both walk out of the basement together but Buffy still has something she needs to get off her chest.
Buffy: Spike there was a person who was bitten and left for dead the other night. Do you know anything about it?
She tries to pay attention to his reaction.
Spike: (calmly) No, I don’t know anything about that.
Buffy: (suspicious) What about last night? I saw you with someone but I didn’t see where you went afterward. Where did you go?
Spike: We talked and I got bored so we parted ways.
Buffy: That’s it. You just talked and that’s it.
Spike: (offended) Are you trying to imply something here?
Buffy: No it’s just that…
Spike: What, I’m just the one person you can blame for everything in this bloody town. I had nothing to do with that guy getting his neck chewed off. Last night I went out and chatted it up with a bird I liked until she bored me. There is nothing else to talk about.
Buffy: Alright fine. I just needed to know that I can count on you.
Spike: You can count on me…to make you proud. I’ll be exactly what you want me to be…Buffy.
They walk off together toward Xander’s place. Buffy still has something inside that tells her something is wrong with Spike but hopes that this calmer Spike will prevail. Spike goes with Buffy knowing that she is starting to trust him. His insanity leads him to believe that Buffy ultimately still believes him to be a monster and is setting him up for failure. He doesn’t want to disappoint her.
I think that if Spike stayed in the basement a lot longer he would have eventually turned insane. Buffy still wants to help him because of his soul and her belief that he can be a better person. I think his wanting the hurt and pain to end would ultimately drive him to do anything to get rid of it. So tell me what did you thought. Was it good or bad? Any and all feedback is appreciated. Thanks for reading.
Buffy: Great no power in the house…Dawn…Willow…anyone…do I have to do everything around here…where did I put those candles…there we go…some nice light in the house…where the hell is everyone…don’t tell me they’re all asleep…Ok that makes sense no one in the house…did they all go out without me…phone’s dead too…something is going on here…what the hell was that…(picks up a stake)…is someone here…(walks to her room)…I know someone’s in there…and you better not be stealing my stuff…(opens the door)…what the hell are you doing here…I thought I told you to stay at Xander’s…