Disclaimer: I own nothing…
Summary: Short fantasy songfic to Trisha Yearwood’s “Walk Away Joe”. (Buffy/Spike)
Spoilers: None… It’s Fantasy/AU…
Rating: PG
Author’s Notes: When I heard Trisha Yearwood‘s “Walk Away Joe” again, I just had to write it. If it seems rushed that’s because it is… Obviously, it’s not exactly a happy fic. I guess this little story is just my way of preparing myself for a couple of my longer fics that are gonna have less than happy endings…
Also, to those of you who are reading “Concrete Angel” and “Still Holding On”, new chapters are on the way…
Distribution: If ya want it, take it, just give me credit… And, if ya could, let me know where it’s going.
Feedback: You can send it to brock3005@aol.com or otownfan1520@yahoo.com.
~*~*~*~
Walk Away Joe:
~*~*~*~
Momma told her baby girl take it real slow
Girl told her momma hey I really gotta go
He’s waitin’ in the car
Momma said girl you won’t get far
Thus are the dreams of an average Jane
Ninety miles an hour down a lovers lane
On a tank of dreams
Oh if she could’ve only seen
But fate’s got cards that it don’t want to show
~*~*~*~
She felt a hand on her arm; the grip strong and demanding.
“Buffy, please, don’t do this.”
The voice was pleading. She could feel the tears that were spilling with those five simple words. And yet she didn’t hear it. Couldn’t hear it… It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.
Nothing but him.
All she could see was a life full of love and promise. They had nothing. They were nothing. But it didn’t matter. She was his. He was hers.
Nothing else mattered.
The hand was shaken from her arm as she pulled away abruptly. And for a moment, just a moment, the room was silent and still as the darkness that floated just beyond the door that stared back at her; daring her to walk.
She couldn’t take the silence. It was deafening. It tore away at her insides; squeezed at her heart until she believed it would burst. She couldn’t move; couldn’t breathe… Not as the calmness of the room consumed her; making her feel helpless and unsure. All the insecurities she had about herself and this decision were suddenly rushing at her full force; knocking the air from her lungs.
She was really doing this. It was really happening. She was leaving. Leaving home. Leaving her family. Leaving the one place that would always hold comfort and love. Leaving safety… To be with him.
And if she walked out that door, she could never come back.
“He’s waiting.”
And in a flurry of golden curls and pretty pink fabric, she was gone. Lost to blind passion.
He was bad for her. Every mother’s nightmare… But he was her dream, and she would follow him to the ends of the earth. If it meant touching that perfect world just once, it would be worth it. Because the girl was in love. And, though never kind, love is everything…
“We love you, Buffy.”
~*~*~*~
And that boy’s just a walk away Joe
Born to be a leaver
Tell you from the word go
Destined to deceive her
He’s the wrong kinda paradise
She’s gonna know it in a matter of time
That boy’s just a walk away Joe
~*~*~*~
Her fingers curled around the metal of the door handle, but hesitated. She could still go back… Still turn away from him, to save her family. To save herself.
But she wouldn’t. Her mother knew it, he knew it… And most importantly; she knew it.
This was real. This was love.
No one understood her here. She was more than the innocent child they believed her to be. She had the capacity to love. The ability to survive. Because she had to. Love, like the strongest drug, created an addiction. It was a habit she couldn’t break. Because this love was all consuming.
She needed him.
So the door to the old, battered DeSoto was opened, and it was suddenly the door to her future. The only one she could choose.
With him.
And so she curled herself into the soft leather of the jacket he wore, and his arm slipped around her; pulling her close. She breathed a sigh of relief, taking in the sent of leather, tobacco, and alcohol, mixed with something that was purely him. It provided a comfort she had never before been aware of. A sudden air of perfection, like a slice of Heaven sent to earth for her and her alone. Something only she could touch. Only she could feel…
Him…
As the car roared to life and screeched from it’s place at the side of the road; it was the soft beat of his heart and the gentle breath that caressed her cheek, which lulled her into a peaceful, contented slumber…
Him.
~*~*~*~
Now just a little while into Abilene
Pulls into a station and he robs it clean
She’s waitin’ in the car
Underneath the Texaco star
She only wanted love didn’t bargain for this
She can’t help but love him for the way he is
She’s only seventeen
And there ain’t no reasoning
So she’ll ride this ride as far as it can go
~*~*~*~
Power.
It was all about power… It was a game. He wanted to know exactly how much he could get away with before he was caught… How much power he held. Over the world. Over her… Over the law.
And so she waited, her arms curled around herself in an attempt to evade the fear that had collected deep in her heart. She hadn’t wanted this. This was wrong… But she couldn’t turn away now. She would never turn away. Because he held her heart in the palm of his hand, and it wouldn’t take much to crush it to dust.
So she waited.
Because he was it. There would be no more love lost. Because he would not hurt her.
He was forever.
This was love, and she would stand by with open arms for as long as she had to. Losing him would be death. It would break her in two, and that was something she couldn’t handle.
And so she waited.
She would be his, no matter what the cost. She would watch faithfully as he did what he felt he needed to do. Trying to stop him would do no good. It would simply push him away… So she let him be.
She knew it was wrong. Knew she was wrong. But love was not meant to make sense…
She waited…
~*~*~*~
‘Cause that boy’s just a walk away Joe
Born to be a leaver
Tell you from the word go
Destined to deceive her
He’s the wrong kinda paradise
She’s gonna know it in a matter of time
That boy’s just a walk away Joe
~*~*~*~
That night, he was her first.
It was gentle; loving… It was beautiful…
Perfection.
There was no other way to describe what he had made her feel. It had been perfect. As he had made love to her there, as crummy and rundown as the motel had been, her feelings for him had grown with each moment she had spent in his arms. Her heart had expanded with the love that she had been sure could grow no stronger. But it had… It had grown so much stronger.
And with the passing of that night, she became his. Fully and completely.
And it was that night that she told him…
“I love you, Spike…”
It should have been her first clue.
He said nothing…
~*~*~*~
Somewhere in a roadside motel room
Alone in the silence she wakes up too soon
And reaches for his arm
But she’ll just keep reachin’ on
For the cold hard truth revealed what it had known
~*~*~*~
As she awoke, early the next morning, she reached out for him; searching for the man she had come to love more than her own life. But he wasn’t there…
“Spike?”
Her voice was soft, though pleading, as she pushed herself into a sitting position; her eyes wide with terrified confusion. She knew. She tried in vain to convince herself that he was simply in the bathroom. Or maybe he had gone out for ice, a cigarette… Something. Anything that would give reason to his disappearance... But there was none.
He was gone.
In her heart she knew. Something inside her; something deep down, hidden in the painful darkness of doubt, was whispering the truth to her heart. Telling her that he would not be coming back for her. She wanted more than anything to ignore it. To keep believing that he would walk through that door, and he would be hers. Truly hers.
But he wasn’t… And the knowledge burned her like acid; melting away every drop of hope that she held within her. He didn’t love her.
He could never love her…
Gone.
~*~*~*~
That boy’s just a walk away Joe
Born to be a leaver
Tell you from the word go
Destined to deceive her
He’s the wrong kinda paradise
But it was just another lesson in life
That boy was a walk away Joe
~*~*~*~
The tears dripped slowly; indiscernible from the freezing rain that poured down on her as she stood there, waiting for her future to be decided for her. Would she be turned away? Or welcomed with open arms? She couldn’t say… But she had to try.
Because this was where she belonged…
Home.
As the door was pulled open, she hugged herself tightly, the chill suddenly unbearable. Slowly, her sad, bloodshot eyes raised from the ground to meet those of her mother, beyond whom stood her baby sister; both of them looking shocked and relieved… But worry once again etched itself across her mother’s face as she noticed to worn, dreary look that her eldest daughter wore written on her pretty features.
And it was then that she knew she was welcome. This was home. This was where she belonged… With the family she had left behind…
“Buffy?”
The word was uttered gently; soothingly… With all the love in the world.
“Mommy… Could you please not say I told you so?”
Her words were weak as a tiny sob worked its way from her throat.
And she broke down.
Falling into her mother’s comforting arms, she cried out the pain she had been doing her best to hold inside since she had found him gone that morning. She clung to her mother with all her might. She was finally safe again. Here nothing could touch her…
This was home.
“I love you, mommy… I’m so sorry. I ruined everything.”
Hushing her gently, her mother stroked her hair softly as she held her; offering the comfort Buffy had believed she would never again be offered. Because this was home. This was family.
This was unconditional love…
~*~*~*~