After a worthless patrolling session, Buffy headed to the Bronze and walked inside, pushing her way through the throng of young adults who had come to celebrate New Year’s Eve. She made it to the bar and sat down, remembering when she had done the same thing days earlier after Willow’s spell went wrong and she and her friends had lost their memories.
When I kissed Spike by the stairs, she thought, images from that night filtering through her head. If anyone would’ve seen us, I don’t know what I would have done.
A bartender came over and took her drink order before handing her a glass. She sipped from it for a moment before looking at the ice cubes that were floating at the surface.
And then things got worse when we… slept together, she said to herself. If that’s what a person would even call it. To me, it was more like fucking. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. It must have been a dream come true for him, having sex with me. He’s been in love with me for so long, and all I did was use him. It meant nothing. She drank more of her soda and looked away. Keep telling yourself that- maybe you’ll believe it someday.
“This seat taken?” a familiar voice asked. She turned her head to see Spike standing there, looking somewhat anxious. “Or is someone from the Scooby gang using it?”
“No one else is here,” she answered. “Go ahead.”
“Thanks,” he said, sitting on the stool beside her and ordering a beer. “Fancy seeing you here- I thought you’d be spending time with Dawn.”
“She’s not too happy with either Willow or I right now,” she said. “I figured I’d let her cool down before trying to talk to her.”
“How’s Red doing?” he asked. “She looked pretty bad last night.”
“She’ll survive,” she answered, sighing. “She ‘s been taking Tara’s absence pretty badly, but I think once she stops using magic so often and learns to stop depending on it, she’ll get better. The next few days, though, definitely won’t be easy. For any of us, for that matter.”
“Is there anything I can do?” Spike asked, studying her withdrawn expression.
“I think you’ve done enough, don’t you?” she asked sharply before frowning and drinking some more soda. “I’m sorry- that was uncalled for.”
“I’m sorry, too, you know,” he replied, and she raised an eyebrow. “I haven’t been terribly good to you as of late.”
“You tried hurting me once you figured out your chip wouldn’t zap you if I was your target,” she said, looking at him. “I’m not surprised, Spike- it’s in your nature to try to kill the Slayer.”
“That’s not quite what I was talking about, but I’m sorry for that, too,” he said. “Though I enjoy sparring with you- your level of passion never ceases to amaze me.” He paused and smirked. “Speaking of passion, it’s nice to know that you exude it in other areas of your life, like fu-”
“Don’t finish that sentence unless you want it to lead to a dusty ending,” she warned, narrowing her eyes at him.
“You wouldn’t dare,” Spike replied flippantly. “You felt something the other night- admit it.”
“There’s nothing to admit,” she muttered. “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be sulking in your crypt?”
“It’s a holiday, pet- I don’t sit around when there are parties going on,” he answered. “Well, except for Halloween, but you already knew that.”
“Yeah,” she said absently, looking at her glass again.
“Why are you here alone?” he asked after a moment. “No one wanted to come out and enjoy the festivities?”
“It’s just New Year’s Eve- it’s not that big of a deal,” she replied.
“Sure it is,” he said, smiling. “It’s a time for reflection, for thinking about this year and everything that happened.”
“I missed about five months of it, or have you forgotten?” she asked sternly, leveling him with her gaze. “I don’t have too much to reflect on. I dealt with Riley leaving, my mother dying, Glory coming after my little sister, deciding to essentially commit suicide to save the world, and all of the ramifications of being brought back to life. It hasn’t exactly been a year I want to dwell on.”
“But there were some good parts, weren’t there?” he asked. “I mean, you had to have fun at least once this year.”
“When?” she asked sullenly. “When I buried my mom? When I jumped off that platform? When I woke up in a coffin and had to dig myself out of my own grave?”
“How about when you put that Council bloke in his place?” he asked. “You seemed pretty pleased with yourself- I remember you mentioning it after he and his cronies of tweed-wearers left town.”
“That wasn’t fun- that was business,” she corrected before smiling slightly. “And Quentin deserved it.”
“How about that robot thing with Warren?” he asked. “April, was it? Having a psychotic robot to take down must have been a nice change of pace.”
“Also business,” she replied. “And quite lame.” She paused and looked at him in amusement. “That mess was soon followed by dealing with the robot you had made to look and act like me.”
“Wasn’t that fun?” he asked sheepishly, quickly ordering another beer.
“Fun for you, maybe, but it was creepy as hell for me,” she said.
“Well, you got to see me after Glory damn near killed me,” he murmured. “That must have been a pleasant sight for you.”
“I don’t like seeing one of my soldiers get hurt,” she replied, looking away.
“I’m one of your soldiers?” he asked, smiling slightly.
“You know you’re the strongest fighter I’ve got on my side,” she answered. “And if you haven’t realized that by now, you’re pretty blind.”
“I’m not as good as you, though,” he said, getting her to look at him. “Couldn’t kill you before I got the chip out of my head- you’re very talented, Slayer.”
“We’re equals,” she replied. “You fought just as hard as I did. And hey, you’re not in a pile of dust somewhere, so that’s a good indication that I couldn’t take you down, either.”
“Maybe that’s why I couldn’t kill you- we’re on the same playing field, and I like having company,” he said, their eyes locking for a long moment. “I’m sorry this year has been so bad for you, luv, but look at it this way- this next year can’t be any worse.”
“Sure it could,” she said, smirking a little. “I could die again and Willow could fail at bringing me back.”
“Don’t make jokes like that,” he said, angry. “And we both know that I’d do everything in my power to bring you back, myself.”
“What, like turning me?” she asked, frowning when he nodded. “No matter how much you claim to love me, there’s no way you could put up with me for eternity. Besides, if I became a vampire, I’d be ten times as powerful as you, and you can bet your ass that I’d stake you for making me be like you.”
“I seem to remember you liking my ass quite a bit,” he said suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows. “I don’t think you’d do anything that would jeopardize it.”
“Wanna bet?” she asked, giving him a challenging look.
“Go ahead and try it, honey,” he said, standing up and putting money down on the bar to pay off his drinks and hers.
“I could, you know,” she said. “I’m just not up for it right now.”
“Whatever you say, Goldilocks,” he replied. “Have a good night, Buffy. I’ll see you around.”
“Bye, Spike,” she said, watching him turn and leave the building.
As she ordered another drink, she began to think about their conversation and what he had said to her.
He’s right- this coming year can’t be nearly as bad as this last one, she said to herself. And sitting in a bar alone isn’t the best way to ring in the New Year.
“Never mind about the drink,” Buffy said, looking at the bartender she had ordered from. “I’ve changed my mind.”
She stood up and walked out of the Bronze, wrapping her arms around her body as she began to go through the downtown area, noticing couples milling about. She watched them enviously before realizing that if she gave it a chance, she could have what they had, too. Turning around and quickly heading in the opposite direction, she made it to the cemetery in a matter of minutes and stopped to stand in front of Spike’s crypt, taking a deep breath and trying to collect her thoughts.
Before she could put her hand on the doorknob, Spike opened it, wearing only his jeans and smoking a cigarette.
“This is how you’re celebrating?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I should ask you the same question,” he said. “What’re you doing here, Slayer?”
“I thought that I… that you and I… I want to start this year off right, and I figured that it would be nice to spend the night… with you,” she managed to say, wringing her hands nervously.
He studied her eyes for a long moment, wondering if she had an ulterior motive or if she was joking, but when he saw the anxiety playing on her features, he opened the door wider and let her walk into the crypt.
“You’re sure about this?” he asked. “You could be anywhere tonight with anyone, and you’re choosing to be in a crypt with me?”
“You make it sound so bad,” she replied, giving him a small smile. “If you want me to leave, I can.”
“Do you really think I’m going to let you walk away?” he asked, grazing her cheek. “As far as I’m concerned, luv, I don’t think I ever want you to leave.” She sighed and looked down. “But I’ll settle for one night.”
“That’s all I can offer right now,” she said before hesitating. “But maybe… that will change.”
“I hope it does, pet,” he replied, taking one of her hands in his. “Want to go downstairs?”
“You’re not expecting us to…” she began, trailing off as she saw the blank expression on his face.
“I’m not expecting anything, Buffy,” he said before grinning. “But then again, I’ve learned to not expect things from you- you do an excellent job of surprising me all of the time.”
He chuckled as she blushed before leading her to the lower level of his crypt.
* * * * *
As Buffy and Spike lay beside each other on his bed, she stared up at the ceiling and tried to push aside the thoughts that were filling her head.
“Everything okay?” Spike asked, noticing the sad look on her face.
“Why do you love me?” she asked quietly. “I mean, I’ve treated you so badly over the years, even when you’ve helped me. What I said in the house the other night-”
“Don’t,” he cut in, frowning. “We both said things that were out-of-line that night- let’s not talk about it. Well, the things before we fell through the floor- everything we said after that can be repeated.”
She playfully smacked his chest and sighed before saying, “I should probably go home soon. I don’t know how safe it is to leave Dawn alone… or even a Wicca going through magic withdrawals.”
“They can survive a little while longer,” he replied. “Stay with me, luv.”
She looked into his eyes and saw the hopeful expression that was beginning to form on his features.
I shouldn’t stay, she thought before letting her gaze travel to his naked torso, studying his body. But I don’t want to go. Not yet, at least.
“I’ll stay on one condition,” she said quietly.
“And that would be what?” he asked curiously, surprised when she took off her boots before slowly pulling off her shirt, fighting off a chill that ran through her, both from the cold air and Spike’s darkening eyes.
“Prove to me that you love me,” she answered, gasping when he pulled her body on top of his and began kissing her, their tongues tangling as both fought for dominance.
He laid her down and covered her with his body, pressing his hardness between her thighs and delighting in the feel of her warm body beneath him. When she needed to breathe, she pulled away and smiled softly when he began to kiss a path down to her neck before his lips traveled lower, right above her rapidly-beating heart.
“I’m not talking about what happened the other night- that wasn’t love,” she murmured, arching her back up when his hands moved behind her to unclasp her bra.
He deftly removed the scrap of cloth from her body, running his hands down her sides before moving them upwards again, gently cupping her breasts in his hands. She watched as he lowered his head, reverently kissing her skin before circling his tongue around one of her nipples. She ran her hands up his arms before clutching at his biceps when he nibbled at the hardened bud he had been attending to.
“You know, I think I take it back,” she managed to say, squeezing his arms tighter when he began to repeat his ministrations on her other nipple. “Going slow might kill me… again.”
“I think it’s killing me more than you, baby,” he replied, grinding his erection against her and smirking when she ran her hands down his body and began to unbutton his jeans. “I thought you wanted me to prove how much I love you.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to go so damn slow,” she muttered impatiently, pulling the zipper down before pushing his jeans down his hips, watching as he took them off and tossed them aside. “Want to do the honors?”
“I’d love to,” he said. “Especially since you were the one who took off your skirt last time. Well, that is, after the first round of amazing shagging.”
“I didn’t hear you complaining,” she replied, watching as his fingers undid her jeans and tugged them down her legs, throwing them onto their growing pile of clothing.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked. “You can’t claim tomorrow that it didn’t happen or that it meant nothing, either- if we do this, you have to start admitting that there’s something between us, something real.”
“I know there is,” she said quietly, leaning up to kiss him as he settled between her thighs. “I think there’s been something for a while. Since I came back, at least.”
“Yeah?” he asked, gently squeezing her thighs and pulling them up, happy when she wrapped her legs around him.
“If you don’t continue, I might die,” she warned jokingly. “And I don’t think you really want to explain to my friends why you have a very naked and unsatisfied Slayer corpse in your bed.”
“I could write it off as how I kill my Slayers- no one would know better,” he said, winking at her when she narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you really think I’d stop now?”
“No… Oh!” she gasped as he thrust inside of her slowly, sheathing himself fully inside of her after a moment.
Spike looked down at her face and frowned when he noticed that her eyes were closed. He lowered his head to her ear and whispered, “They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. Let me get a glimpse of yours, luv.”
She slowly opened her eyes and looked into his, seeing the look of adoration on his face.
“Like what you see?” she asked, smiling when he pressed his forehead to hers.
“Always,” he answered, beginning to slowly pull back before moving inside of her once again.
They worked together, creating their own rhythm, before Spike began pumping into her quicker, both nearing their peaks. Buffy sank her nails into his back as her body began to tremble more, her orgasm washing over her in waves of pleasure. Spike growled as he came, thrusting even faster as he emptied himself inside of her.
As both came down from their climaxes, Spike nuzzled his face into her neck and playfully nibbled it, enjoying the sound of her heart beating frantically and her labored breathing.
“Was that what you were hoping for when you came here tonight?” he asked quietly, holding himself up slightly to look at her glowing face.
“Maybe,” she said coyly, smirking when he laughed, not surprised when she began to feel him harden inside of her again.
“Did that prove my love for you enough?” he asked, beginning to slowly rock his hips against hers.
“I think I might need more proof,” she managed to get out as he sharply thrust inside of her.
“Pretty good way to start out the year, isn’t it?” he asked, grinning.
“You have no idea,” she answered, smiling. “Happy New Year’s, Spike.”
“Happy New Year’s, baby,” he replied, pulling back before sinking into her body again, pressing his lips to hers as she moaned.
It was the first New Year’s they spent together, and it certainly wasn’t their last, but none of the following New Year’s celebrations ever topped their original one.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!