“Are you hurt? You’re not moving so well.”
“Get out.”
“We have to talk.”
Buffy shook her head in the negative. “We really don’t.”
“Well this isn’t just about you as much as you’d like it to be,” Spike said shutting the bathroom door.
“You spoke. I listened. Now leave,” she replied folding her arms over her chest.
Spike looked her in the eye, the expression on his face tender.
“I’m sorry. Not that it matters anymore now. But I needed you to know that.”
“Why?”
“Cuz I care about you.”
“Then you might want to try the not sleeping with my friends.”
“I didn’t go to Anya for that. I was looking for a spell.”
“You were going to use a spell on me?” Buffy asked in disbelief.
Spike sighed. “It wasn’t for you. I wanted something, anything to make these feelings stop. I just wanted it to stop.”
Spike looked down and sighed again.
“You should have let him kill me,” Spike said under his breath, the anguish evident in his voice.
“I couldn’t do that,” Buffy whispered.
“Why?” He glanced back at her, his face hopeful.
“You know why.”
“Because you love me.”
“No I don’t.”
“Why do you keep lying to yourself?”
Buffy who was bent over the tub turning off the water, spun around and faced him.
“How many times—I have feelings for you. I do. But it’s not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love.”
Spike laughed and shook his head.
“Trust is for old marrieds, Buffy. Great love… Is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and it consumes…”
“Until there’s nothing left. Love like that doesn’t last,” she said cynically.
“I know you feel like I do. You don’t have to hide it anymore.”
Spike moved around in front of her, agitated.
“Spike, please stop this.” Buffy rolled her eyes and sighed.
“Let yourself feel it.” Spike closed the distance between them and slid one arm about her waist.
“No.” Buffy pushed his arm away.
“You love me,” Spike said attempting to hold her.
“Ow, no. Stop it!” Buffy tried to push Spike off of her but he held steady.
“You love me,” he insisted moving closer still, trying to get his arms around her.
“Spike, stop! Ow! What are you doing? Ow!” Buffy started to get a little scared of his manhandling. Spike was acting totally out of control. He repeatedly tried to grab her and she desperately started to fend off his attack. He paid her objections no mind, his movements becoming frenzied as his hands groped her body. He appeared as if he were in a trance, like he wasn’t even aware that he was hurting her.
“Ow! Ohhhh!” Buffy fell backwards trying to escape him. Her hands grabbed a hold of the shower curtain and it gave way. She fell on the side of the tub hurting her already injured side, the shower curtain still clutched in her hand.
“Let it go,” Spike urged desperately, reaching for her and trying to kiss her. “Let yourself love me.”
“Buffy. Buffy...” Spike said, his hands framed on either side of her face. He tried desperately to kiss her.
“Spike… NO! Ow! I’m hurt!” Buffy protested.
She attempted to move away from him, desperately seeking to put some distance between herself and him, and ended up sprawled on her stomach. Spike straddled her waist, his legs on either side of her pinning her in place. The look on his face, as he gazed down upon her, was purely animalistic - as if his demon was suddenly in control.
“Stop! Ow! Stop it!” Buffy cried, tears gathering in her eyes to slip silently down her pale face.
“I knew you felt it...when I was inside you.”
Buffy grunted, her head vigorously shaking in a negative as she tried to throw him off. “NO! NO!”
She finally succeeded in kicking him off her prone body, but as he fell he grabbed her legs and pulled her back towards him. He flipped her around and got on top of her again, using his superior strength to pin her hands above her head.
“Please. Please!”
“Spike! Please stop!” she whimpered.
“You’ll feel it again, Buffy,” he said as he maneuvered himself between her legs.
“Spike… please, don’t do this.” Buffy frantically twisted her head and upper body from side to side trying to get mobile. She was desperate to get free as she struggled against him, not understanding his sudden violence towards her.
“I’m gonna make you feel it!” Spike roared his face full of anger, oblivious to her struggles and protestations.
“Stop! Please stop!” Buffy screamed.
Spike ripped at her robe, trying to get it off of her body. Buffy screamed louder, grabbing at his hands. She managed to get one of her legs up between their entwined bodies and kicked him hard in the stomach, sending him flying backwards into the wall. A shelf loaded with knick-knacks fell to the floor, shattering.
Buffy got shakily to her feet, pulling her robe together as she stood. She turned and looked at Spike, pure ice in her eyes. Spike got up and looked at her, his face blank, his mind asking him what the hell had just happened.
“Ask me again why I could never love you.” Her voice dripped pure venom.
“Buffy, my God! I didn’t mean...” Spike trailed off, his voice full of remorse.
“Because I stopped you!” she raged. Buffy’s eyes were full of tears as she clutched the front openings of her robe tightly together. “Something I should have done a long time ago.”
*~*
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!