I haven’t updated in awhile, but I haven’t stopped writing. In fact, I’ve been writing more than ever (and yes, it’s Spuffy, what else is there really?). I’ve been writing smaller stories for my friends on livejournal -- look it up, http://www.livejournal.com/users/facingthesun/ -- as Christmas presents. There aren’t all done, but I’m going to share them with you now as they are completed.
Thank you for reading. I hope to start working on my WIPs soon. (I don’t know about you, but I miss them).
Happy New Year!
--Jennifer (facingthesun)
(note: not all stories are R/NC17, to see all of them, go to my livejournal or the Spuffy Realm -- http://www.spikeluver.com/SpuffyRealm/index.php -- )
Title: Having My Baby
Pairing: Human Spike and Buffy
Rating: R
Disclaimers: I own nothing. Thank you to Joss for letting me play without being sued.
Gift for: braat44, who wanted a human, NC17, baby story
Beta’d: yes
Finished: yes
Careful not to make a sound, William gently closed the door to his apartment. He placed his briefcase on the carpet, slipped off his jacket and tiptoed through the dark living room.
“William? Baby, is that you?”
Startled by the faint voice, William turned to find Buffy bundled up from head to toe in a thick blanket. “Hey, what are you doing out here? It’s late.”
“I couldn’t sleep,” she answered, patting the empty spot on the couch and inviting him to sit next to her. “How was your day? Is it just me, or do they seem to be getting longer and longer?”
“It was alright. Nothing new happened,” he mused while loosening his tie. “Thank God it’s Friday though.”
“You can say that again. This has been one of the longest weeks of my life.”
“Staying home and watching the television for five days straight isn’t as fun as you expected, yeah?”
“Daytime TV sucks,” Buffy admitted, resting her head on William’s shoulder. “I never thought I’d miss my job.”
“You just need to take it easy these last few weeks.”
“I wish you didn’t have to work so much. I get lonely…I miss you.”
“Consider your wish granted.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I’ve taken the next two weeks off.”
“Really? William!” Buffy cried happily, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Oh, that’s great news!”
“Talked to some coworkers of mine and they told me about this brilliant concept called male maternity leave or something similar to that. Daddies need time off too, you know? So, one week is a present from the company and the other is me using up the vacation time that I’ve been racking up.”
“Oh, thank God.” Smiling, she kissed him and nuzzled his cheek with her nose. “I’m so relieved! Now we can finish the nursery, we can shop together and you can help me get off of the furniture!”
“You still getting stuck, sweetheart?”
“Don’t laugh! I feel like a bug that’s been tipped over on its back! I wave my feet and arms and…okay, you win, I admit that it must look pretty funny.”
When she started to giggle, William continued to chuckle as he held her close, finding the sound of her silly laughter both infectious and endearing. “You’re too much, pet,” he mumbled, brushing his lips against her temple.
“I’m just happy.”
“But you’re making me feel bad…like I’ve been abandoning you.”
“Oh, don’t. I’m looking forward to spending time with you, that’s all. I don’t think we’ve ever had a full two weeks together since we’ve, you know, been together.”
“I think you’re right. Do you think we can last fourteen solid days together? We’ll wake up at the same time, share every meal, be a part of each other’s daily routines…”
“If we can’t, William,” Buffy whispered into his ear, “I think we have a problem.”
“I hope that we won’t.”
“Me too. We shouldn’t.”
“We won’t,” William decided with a confident nod. “It’ll be a blast keeping you and your little bump company.”
“Little?” she laughed, taking his hand and resting it on her bulging stomach. “Feel me, honey. There’s nothing ‘little’ about me.”
“Oh, that’s not true. Everything else is exactly the same size. You’re still a tiny bit of nothing.”
“You’re sweet—a complete liar—but sweet.”
“That’s what I’m here for, to fill you with the most vicious lies, gorgeous,” he purred, slipping his hand under the elastic band of her pants. “Want to hear another?”
“What would I do without you?”
“Why? You thinkin’ about leaving?”
“No,” she snickered, keeping his fingers flat and curved around her lower tummy. “You’re stuck with me and my baby.”
“Poor me…”
“I know.” Closing her eyes, she savored the feeling of his lips peppering her face, neck, and shoulders with kisses. “Take me to bed?”
“So, you’re sleepy now?”
“Yup, you’re not getting any from me tonight.”
“Tease.” Getting to his feet with a soft groan, William held Buffy’s hands and helped her off the sofa. “My room or yours, waddles?”
“I told you not to call me waddles.”
“Do you prefer toddles?”
“Shut up,” Buffy pouted, hugging him as they headed to his room. “You shouldn’t be allowed to tease me. I’m pregnant.”
“All’s fair in love and war, sweets. It’s not my baby, why should I spare you?”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that…” Buffy sang, hiding her face into his chest.
***
**Approximately nine months earlier**
“She left me.”
“Why?”
“I’ll give you three guesses.”
“You grew apart as people?”
“No.”
“She ran off with another man?”
William shook his head and swallowed another shot, causing Buffy to drink hers as well.
“Blaaah. That stuff is disgusting.”
“Want another?”
“Yes, please. You didn’t perform well enough in bed?”
“No! How can you even guess that?”
“I know,” Buffy said, staring into her glass. “I think of you and sex and…ew!”
“Ew? Why ew?”
“You’re like a brother to me, Will. You never want to think about your family members getting groiny. It’s…it’s just ew-worthy.”
“Well, now you’ve done it. You’ve offended me. I am now offended.”
“Oh, I didn’t want to offend you!” In a drunken haze, she stroked his arm and cooed into his ear. “I was supposed to make you feel better since Dru dumped you!”
“Let’s announce it to the nice bar people, kitten.”
“Oh! I’m sorry! Forgive me? Please?” she begged. “What can I do to make you feel better?”
“Buffy, don’t—don’t, that tickles.” Laughing, he batted her away as she kissed the sensitive skin under his ear.
“I like it when you laugh.”
“I like it when you’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunk.”
“You are. Want another?”
“Yes, please.”
“Go sit back on your stool, baby. Dru dumped me because of you,” William explained as he filled her glass. “Said I think about you too much, that I see you too much.”
“Blaaah. What’d you say?”
“’Fuck off, I can see my Buffy if I bloody-well want to!’ Somehow she didn’t appreciate that.”
“Were you drunk when you said that?”
“A little,” he chuckled. “I had a rough day at work.”
“Angel…he dumped me too.”
“What? When? Why?”
Not answering immediately, Buffy burst into a fit of giggles. “H-he said that I spend too much time with you!”
“You’re kidding!”
“Do I look like I’m kidding?”
“Well…sort of…”
“Why is it that people always think that we’re together? It’s been like this since high school.”
“We’re close…people get jealous...”
“But I loved Angel.”
“I loved Dru.”
“But I love you more.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. So much more.”
William took one last drink before opening his arms and taking Buffy against his chest. “Your hair smells delicious,” he mumbled. “Like apples. Red ones, not green.”
“William, do you love me?”
“More than anything.”
“Really? More than your mom?”
“More than what I feel for all my family members combined and multiplied by three.”
“Good. I’m glad that I’m not the only one that feels this way.” Inhaling, she patted his shoulder before giving it a kiss. “Do you ever think…since they’ve always gossiped about us…”
“What you getting at?”
“I lied a few seconds ago.”
“About what?”
“You and sex…I don’t think ew. Maybe a few years ago because we were young, but now…ew does not come to mind.”
“Yeah?”
“Have you ever wondered if we were really meant to be together?”
“Sometimes.”
“Just sometimes?”
“Alright, a lot.”
“A lot?” Buffy smiled, biting her lower lip. “Take me home.”
“Now, pet?”
“Yes, right now.”
“I shouldn’t drive. I’ve been drinking on and off since five.”
“Call a cab. I’ll pay.”
***
“Oh…hell.”
“I know.”
“B-buffy?”
“That’s me.”
“Are, uh, you as naked as I am?”
“I haven’t checked. I can’t move.”
Opening his eyes, William found Buffy under the covers and curled up into a ball at his side. “I remember drinking whiskey…the rest…it’s all...fuzzy, like flashes...”
“Yeah, like one of those sex scenes from an artsy film.”
“You watch artsy films? You?”
“I remember the cab ride. You had your hands in my bra…up my skirt.”
“Bloody hell…”
“I remember…um, you had a hard time…getting hard and then you lost it rather quickly.”
“It was the drinking! I drank too much!” William cried, rubbing his eyes with balled up fists. “It’s perfectly normal for alcohol to have that effect!”
“Oh, William, don’t yell. Don’t be embarrassed. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult your penis. If it helps, I think I thought that it was big.”
“You think you thought…” Letting what she said sink in, he laughed seconds later. “Buffy, what the hell is this? What did we do? Why did we do it?”
“We had sex and since my legs won’t budge and my jaw hurts a lot, I’d say there was a lot of it. Now, we are having the awkward morning—night—whatever after. I plan on spending the next hour or so puking. Then, I’ll panic, as my head pounds, about what this has done to our friendship.”
“You’ll panic?”
“You’re my best friend. Haven’t you watched any movies-of-the-week? Friends, who have sex, start a more-than-friends relationship and then when they break up, they have no one. No significant other, no best friend, no nothing. Zip.”
“I can’t imagine being without you.”
“Me neither,” Buffy mumbled, moving the blankets as she spoke. “Okay…you’re as naked as I am…and about you being big…”
Feeling a draft, William looked down to see her peeking under the covers. “Buffy! Don’t do that!”
“Why not? I’ve seen it all, touched it all and, uh, tasted—,” Not finishing her sentence, she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face against his side. “You’d better answer the ‘what the hell is this?’ question, because I’m totally passing it to you.”
“We were hurting, we had confessed our love for each other…”
“You said that I smelled like apples; that made me smile.”
“Do you realize that we had our first kiss last night and I can barely remember it? We made love and all I can remember is the fact that you whimper twice and cry out once before you come.”
“And you could’ve learned that much from talking to that asshole Parker Abrams in high school,” Buffy snorted.
“No, no, there’s nothing like experiencing it firsthand…or as firsthand as you can while being stinking drunk.”
“You don’t smell bad. I’ve always thought that you smell amazing.”
William opened his mouth in a quiet gasp as Buffy began to brush her lips against his skin. “Pet, what are we doing? How far is this gonna go?”
“You must be sobering up, because that did not take much effort.”
He gasped again once she patted his semi-hard erection. “Buffy, look at me! We need to sort this out before…before…”
“I don’t want to have sex with you.”
“Oh…”
“I mean, not right now.”
“Oh?”
“Will you stop saying that?” Buffy giggled, scooting up so they were lying face to face. “I want to try this. Don’t you?”
“Yes,” William whispered. “Very much.”
“Are you even sure about what I’m asking?”
“No, but anything…yes.”
“I love you. I can’t imagine why we didn’t try this sooner.” Leaning forward, she teasingly brushed their lips together until William took the first move to deepen their kiss.
“Yum,” she hummed, “somebody needs to brush his teeth.”
“Look who’s talking,” William hummed back, kissing Buffy again.
***
“William?”
“Yes, dear?”
“You need to move. I gotta go.”
“Again?”
“Yup and badly. Roll me out of bed, please?”
“Alright, alright.” Barely awake, William got up from where he’d been sleeping with his head pillowed on Buffy’s thigh.
“How’s a bloke supposed to get any sleep ‘round here if you’re running to the john every five minutes?” With his hair messy and drawstring pants barely hanging on his hips, William walked backwards to the bathroom with Buffy holding his hands.
“You could try sleeping on a pillow—”
“I was.”
“—that isn’t connected to my body.”
“Where’s the fun in that? So, do you think this is how it’ll be like when we teach our precious he-or-she how to walk?”
“Maybe,” Buffy said, fighting the need to grin.
“Then it’s good that I practice, yeah? Knew there was another reason for doing this other than making sure that you don’t piddle on my carpet.”
“Don’t tempt me.” Releasing his hands, she walked as fast as she could before dropping her pants and plopping onto the toilet.
“Damn, woman, where does it all come from?”
“I think it has a lot to do with the baby, who’s just like you, but he-or-she insists on using my bladder as a freaking pillow.”
“Okay, now I feel much better.” Sighing, she flushed and pushed William aside so she could wash her hands. “What do you want for breakfast? I can make you something…well, as long as it doesn’t involve eggs. Just looking at them has been making me queasy lately.”
“Let’s go out. I wanna treat you and start our vacation on the right foot.”
“Can we have bagels?”
“Sure we can.”
“God, I’ve been craving them.”
“Didn’t we just buy you some?”
“I want the fancy kind, warm…fresh…a ton of cream cheese—the whipped kind—yum....”
As William took his turn in the bathroom, he looked over his shoulder to see Buffy turn on the shower and undress. “I’ve never understood,” he paused letting his pants gather at his ankles, “why do you wash your hands if you’re heading into the shower in a minute or two?”
“Um…because I take the five second rule very seriously?” Buffy laughed. “It’s just a habit, baby.”
“Like the way that you pull up your pajamas when you’ll drop ‘em again before you get into the shower?”
“You think too much.”
“I’m just observing. I like to watch you.”
“Well, I think you watch too closely.”
“Bah,” he snickered, following her into the shower. Once they were under the spray of warm water, he closed the curtain and stood closely behind her. “What else would you like to do today, pet?”
“Um,” Buffy hummed as he swept her wet hair aside and started to kiss along her neck. “I want to go shopping…baby shopping.”
“More? But we’ve got just about every unisex circus toy and decorative doodad known to man.”
“Not everything. We need a rug to put in the front of the crib and I think I saw the perfect one at that boutique across town. Do you remember? The shaggy rug with the primary colors and the elephant in the middle?”
“I’ve seen so many bloody elephants—fuck, I dream about them.”
“You chose them over bears, honey,” Buffy pointed out, lowering herself awkwardly to retrieve a bottle of shampoo. “We’re wasting water.”
“You’re hungry, aren’t you, sweetheart?” he smirked, knowing that she wasn’t worried about the water that was rushing down the drain as they spoke.
“I’m starving,” she admitted, tickled that he knew her so well. “And I’m really, really looking forward to my bagel.”
“Then we’d better stop yakking and get to the washing.”
“Yeah,” Buffy grinned as William started to massage shampoo into her hair.
***
**Flashback**
“We’ve been roommates since our freshman year of college…why didn’t you tell me that it was so nice to sleep in your bed?”
Keeping her head down as she straddled William’s body, Buffy’s hair spilled onto his chest while she kissed his already-swollen lips.
“I mean, I would’ve been in here every night and not just for the, ah, sweet lovemaking, because, damn, it’s incredible just to hold you…to be held by you.”
“It’s because I love you unconditionally. Those wankers that you dated before—”
“Wankers, every single one of them.” Scooting her hips down, Buffy eagerly sheathed his erection, tucking it inside her body. “But…my wanker boyfriends are nothing compared to your ho-ish girlfriends. Hello, Dru? I have no clue what you saw in that walking corpse. Whatta weirdo…”
“Shall I bring up Riley Finn?”
“Oh, God,” Buffy closed her eyes both in reaction to the name of her ex-lover and the pleasure of grinding against her current boyfriend. “Please, don’t…”
“Don’t?”
“Uh, don’t-don’t let me stop. I have two words for you: Harmony Kendall. Top that, William.”
“I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.”
“I was only sick this morning.”
“Do you think it was something you ate?”
“Probably.”
“I was worried.” With a grunt, William flipped them over so he was on top. “If you weren’t better, I was going to go all out tonight…chicken soup…girlie movies…the works. It was gonna be my first act as caring boyfriend.”
“I think this—it’s a pretty caring gesture, William.”
“Thought you’d say that,” he answered, rotating his hips in a way that caused them both to cry out and groan.
***
“Mmmm. This is fantastic.”
“That good?”
“Oh, come on, don’t look at me like that.” Smiling, Buffy licked cream cheese off her fingers. “You have cravings too. You love those onion things.”
“True. Can I have a taste?”
“You don’t like cream cheese.”
“But I like the taste of your fingers.”
“Be good and no, you can not suck on my fingers in public. Are you going to finish that?”
“Be my guest.” With his elbow on the table, William cupped his chin and watched, interested and eyes shining as Buffy finished her breakfast as well as his own. “You plan on licking the plate clean while you’re at it?”
“If I said that I was eating for two would I still look like a pig?”
“Absolutely. I remember how much you ate before your belly was full of baby.”
“Well, at least I can fool strangers. Let’s go, I can eat the rest in the car.”
“You need help?”
“No, I like these chairs. I don’t sink into them like the ones at home.” Buffy gathered her purse, half-eaten bagel and paper cup of orange juice as William cleaned the table. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“If only you cleaned like that all the time.”
“I do…sometimes.” He wrapped an arm around her as they walked out of the tiny restaurant. “Just wait a few years, we can make the bit do all the housework. We can call it chores and pay he-or-she a quarter a week.”
“A quarter a week? You sound like my grandparents.”
“Would you rather give them the minimum wage? What’s a toddler going to do with all that money, buy a cell phone? Pet, have you seen those spoiled brats with their bloody cell phones? It’s appalling.”
“It’s safe though. You can always get a hold of your kids when they have cell phones.”
“It allows them to run around like idiots and give a call to mum to cover their tracks. ‘Sure, mummy, course I’m at little Bobby Joe’s house’…when she’s really out…I don’t know, robbing ice cream trucks or whatever bad kids do nowadays.”
“Everyone knows that ice cream trucks don’t sell ice cream, they’re like snack bars for drug addicts now, and Bobby Joe? Now you really sound like my grandparents. I didn’t know you felt so strongly about this stuff.”
“Oh, I rattle on all the time, you just don’t listen. Have you heard my views on the educational system in this country? What a bunch of rot that is. I can give you an abridged version of my rant if you’d like.”
“I’ll pass,” Buffy smiled, taking a bite from her bagel.
***
**Flashback**
“Knock, knock.”
“Buffy? What a pleasant surprise! You should’ve called first though, I could’ve taken you to lunch.” Getting to his feet, William greeted Buffy with a kiss once she appeared at the door of his office.
“I was in the neighborhood and I needed to see you.”
“I was just thinking about you myself.”
“Um, can we close the door?”
“Sure, should we close the blinds too?”
“No. This isn’t a booty call—visit—whatever, you know what I mean.”
“Is something wrong? You look upset.”
“I-I need to sit down.”
“Alright.” William showed her to a seat and sat across from her. “What’s the matter?” he asked gently, noticing that she was avoiding his eyes.
“I don’t know where to begin…”
Recognizing her expression, William’s heart started to pound. “You gonna dump me? Already? What’d I do?”
“Oh, William. If anyone will be doing any dumping it’ll be you.” Inhaling deeply, she tried to compose herself. “God, I really don’t know where to begin…”
“Buffy, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”
“Just start at the beginning,” he whispered, giving her hands a squeeze. “Come on, whatever it is, it can’t be that bad. We’ll get through it, sweetheart.”
“I’m late.”
“Late? For what? You just got here.”
“I took the test and there was a plus mark.”
“You took a-a…”
“Pregnancy test.”
“Oh…you’re pregnant?”
“It explains why I’ve been sick...tired... William, it isn’t a bug or something that I ate, it’s morning sickness.”
“You’re really pregnant?”
“Yes, I am.”
“We’re going to have a baby… I wasn’t expecting this,” he muttered. “When they say that one time’ll do it, those blokes weren’t joking. It was our first night together that did it, right?”
Buffy nodded and opened her mouth to say something, but William continued to talk.
“You thought I’d dump you after hearing that you’re expecting?” Chuckling warmly and with a smile on his lips, he kissed the top of Buffy’s head. “Look at me, pet. I’m not mad. There’s nothing to be mad about. We’re going to have a baby.”
“You want it?”
“Of course. Don’t you?” William pulled Buffy against his chest and rubbed her back, trying to calm her down as her body remained rigid. “You don’t want to get rid of our baby, do you?”
Buffy closed her eyes, a sharp pain piercing her heart each time he called the baby theirs. “I want to have your baby, William…so badly.”
“Then let’s have it. I know that we haven’t been dating long, but I think we can handle something this long-term. You know that I love you to pieces.”
“I love you too.”
“And a baby will just bring us closer. It’ll be that ‘you and me and the baby’ll make three’ rot. I wonder what it’ll be, a boy or a girl? We shouldn’t even find out until the moment you pop it out. It’ll be a surprise…one of the biggest surprises of our lifetimes, really.”
“William—God, you are so wonderful!” Taking him off guard, Buffy suddenly broke in sobs. “I don’t deserve you!”
“What? Hey, love, what--.”
“I don’t know if you’re the father!”
“Come again?”
“Don’t! Don’t let go!” she cried, clinging to him with all her might, once he tried to pull back to see her face. “I’m sorry!”
“Buffy, what the hell are you talking about?”
“Before I went to the bar that night, I saw Angel.”
“Yes, I know that and the sod dumped you.”
“He dumped me after we had sex.”
“What? Buffy—damn it, will you let go? You’re going to strangle me.”
“I-I’m sorry,” she whimpered, hiding her hands in her lap and scooting away from him. “I just don’t want you to leave me.”
“What does Angel have to do with you being pregnant?”
“We didn’t use a condom.”
“And we didn’t either…fuck, you have no idea who the father is, do you?”
“No.”
“Bloody hell,” he whispered, getting to his feet to pace the office. “You’re having that asshole’s child? Can you imagine the forehead that it’s gonna have?”
“I’m not worried about my baby’s forehead.”
“Yeah, you’ve got to find him a daddy—you sure there’s only two of us to choose from?”
“Is that supposed to be a joke?” Buffy gasped. Her voice was strained and she sounded as if it were too painful for her to talk normally. “That is not funny, William. Why would you say that? I know that I did something stupid, but you don’t have to be a jerk--.”
“I’m a jerk?”
“I didn’t cheat on you! He was my boyfriend! I had no idea that he’d dump me! I had no idea that I might get knocked up!”
“Keep it down, people are trying to work here!”
“Then I’ll go. It looks like either way, my baby’s going to have an asshole for a father.”
***
“Oh, look!” Tugging on William’s hand, Buffy pulled him across the boutique. “I think I see it.”
“Really? You mean we won’t be driving all over town? Yippie-bloody-skippie. I was afraid we’d relive our quest for the perfect circus print wallpaper.”
“Shut up. Oh, here it is. Isn’t it cute?” Buffy cooed, picking up the rug and hugging it to her chest. “It’ll match everything else so well, don’t you think? Or—wait—is there too much green?”
“Well…” He scratched his brow with his pinky and studied the rug. “I think it’s perfect.”
“Really?”
“Of course. It’ll match the circus pillows and the blue color will play off nicely with the color of our rocking chair.”
“Really?” she whispered, petting the rug.
“It’s exactly what we need, cutie.”
Buffy bit her lower lip, pleased with his words and the kiss he pressed into her hair.
“Let’s put it in a bag and go home.”
“Go home and do what?”
“I’ll give you three guesses.”
“Are we going to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie? Oh! Are you going to rub my feet? Are you actually going to start building the crib so I can see how wonderful the rug is going to look in front of it?”
“Am I being punished? The doctor said it was alright as long as you feel comfortable. We have a green light to do it until the day you give birth. Are you going to make me beg or something?”
“You’re acting like you’ve been cut off for weeks.”
“Are you cutting me off? Why? What’d I do?” he pouted. “I’ve been on my best behavior.”
“I can’t believe you, whining about sex in a baby store,” Buffy whispered. “How long has it really been?”
“Long, kitten.”
“What, like forty-eight hours? What’s going to happen after the baby’s born?”
“It’s been seventy-three hours and counting.”
“Okay, how about tonight?” Buffy rolled her eyes once he nodded enthusiastically. “After we watch a movie, you rub my feet and after you finish the crib. Consider it a prize.”
“But you said I just had to start the crib a few seconds ago!”
“Shhh…I’ve been waiting for that freaking crib for nearly nine months. I’m due at pretty much anytime, William. You want to go without for nine months? Forty weeks?”
“Uh, no ma’am.”
“I didn’t think so.”
“Hell, I like it when you get all forceful like that…” he purred, stroking her face. “You have no idea what it does to me…”
“Yes, I do. Now, go pay for this while I go find a bathroom.”
***
**Flashback**
“Buffy?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I left work so we could…talk,” William said, his voice dropping on the last word.
“I’m not talking to you,” Buffy grumbled, packing more clothes into her suitcase.
“Where are you going?”
“A hotel for a few days until I can find an apartment. Unlike what you probably think, I don’t have anywhere else to go. I have no other lover to shack up with.”
“You don’t have to move out, Buffy.”
“Yeah, well, I want to. I’ve been here too long. I need a change in scenery…a change in roommates.”
“How did you expect me to react? One minute you’re letting me believe that I have a baby on the way and then a breath later, you’re ripping it away, crushing me….”
“I said it the best way that I could.”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“Not until I know for certain that it’s his. If I don’t have proof…I don’t want him involved unless he needs to be.”
“Buffy, please don’t go. Even if you want nothing to do with me, you can keep your room. We both work a lot and--.”
“I don’t know what we’ll do about the lease, since I’m not giving a two weeks notice and all.” Doing her best to avoid him, Buffy put on her backpack and lifted her heavy suitcase off the floor. “I’ll get the rest of my things later.”
“What if I took it back, pet?”
“You wouldn’t mean it.”
“I know that you aren’t cheating on me.”
“But do you know that I wouldn’t? That just the thought of betraying you like that makes me sick? Remember me, William, I was your best friend--.”
“You still are. You always will be.”
“I had to cheer you up when that floozy went out on you in our second year of college. I saw what it did to you, how it made you hurt. For you even to joke—to say something like that, even if you didn’t mean it…”
“I’m a bastard…a fucking jerk,” William said, stepping from the doorway to enter her room. “Don’t leave.”
“I need time. You need time. We need to be apart.”
“I don’t need any blasted time. Please?” Taking another step, he held a hand to Buffy’s cheek. “Let’s not end this over one dumb sentence. I love you too much to let that happen.”
“Do you love me enough to continue to see me and to be my boyfriend while a baby that may not be yours grows in my stomach?”
When William didn’t respond, Buffy’s face fell. “I knew that this wouldn’t be easy…”
“It’ll be harder if you’re out of the apartment. I’ll miss you.”
Fighting the need to tell her not to go again, William acted quickly. He shot ahead until their bodies were flush and he crashed his mouth onto hers. Determined to get his point across, he silently pleaded with her to stay through a mixture of painfully slow, sweet and deep kisses.
“Put your bags down, I want you to wrap your arms around me.”
“I’m going…”
“You can, but don’t leave me just yet,” he whispered, pushing the straps of her backpack off her shoulders.
“William…”
“I spouted off, I do that sometimes.” Taking her suitcase and putting it aside, he nudged her back until she sat on the edge of the bed. “My head had completely turned to mush. Here I was scared, relieved, happy, shocked, disappointed, confused, angry—it was a fucking emotional overload, pet.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”
“I hope…I pray that it’s yours.”
“Let’s not call the baby ‘it’.”
“What’s better? Assume that it’s a he? She? He-slash-she?”
“A simple he-or-she will do.” Feeling suddenly nervous, he knelt in front of her and touched her flat stomach before resting his head in her lap. “Never thought we’d be having a baby this soon.”
“We’re actually behind. Most people I know in their mid-twenties have at least one by now.”
“But I’m sure they’ve been together a bit longer than a month or two.”
“We’ve known each other since the sixth grade, lived together for almost seven years…”
“I thought about it the whole drive home and…Buffy, I don’t know if I’m ready to be father, but….”
“I don’t know if I’m ready to be a mom, but hey, I guess you have more decisions to make, more options to choose from, than I do.”
“I won’t leave you. Please don’t leave me.”
“William, what do you mean?”
Noticing stress in her voice, William looked up to find Buffy with more tears in her eyes. “I mean that I’m willing to do this. I might not feel ready, but—the morning after the bar, I said that I was up for anything.”
“But back then you couldn’t have guessed about this.”
“Let’s have a baby.”
“What if it isn’t...”
“The baby will be mine.”
“But--.”
“We’ll get a bloody paternity test. We’ll tell Angel that the kid’s his only so he can sign him over to me.”
“This is a huge decision. Y-you don’t have to make it so quickly.”
“I love you.”
“I know.”
“We might’ve made a baby, we might’ve not, either way, if my girl—if my best friend’s pregnant I’m not leaving her. Only a wanker would do that and—”
“You’re not a wanker, William. Not at all and I’ve meet my fair share of wankers.”
“And you’re not a ho or even a tad ho-ish.” He chuckled quietly and soon found himself tangled in Buffy’s arms. “Does this mean you aren’t leaving?”
“No, no,” she chanted between sobs.
“Oh, kitten, don’t cry.”
“Now, you’ve done it. I gave you a way out, but you blew it. You’re gonna be stuck with me and my baby until the end now. I hope you’re happy.”
“Little do you know…this happens to be exactly what I want…well, give or take a few details.”
“But I thought you considered that ‘you and me and the baby makes three’ stuff as all rot?”
“Well…I’ve got an open mind, my opinion can change.”
“I really don’t deserve you, William.”
“Funny, I’ve always thought the same about you,” William said with his own quiet sniffle before wiping her wet cheeks with his hands.
***
“What about something simple like Anne?”
“Isn’t that your middle name?”
Buffy nodded, looking out the window as they drove the long way home.
“Had to have something to tame down the ‘Buffy,’ yeah?”
“I guess so. We all can’t be as dull as you, William James.”
“I’ve always liked Cecily for a girl’s name--.”
“We are not naming my child after your first crush.”
“Ah, she was so gorgeous, my sweet Cecily. She was such a talent with her crayons, never drew out of the lines even once--.”
“When she wasn’t eating paste,” Buffy teased.
“Too bad she was stuck up. I could’ve shown her a good time, but no, every time that I asked to play house with her, the bird would reject me.”
“You poor thing. How about Joyce or a form of it, like maybe Joy or Josie?”
“As in Josie and the Pussycats?”
“Yes, as in Josie and the Pussycats.”
“Uh, I like Rhiannon. It sounds like Anne and it’s a good song.”
“Mmmm…maybe.”
“There’s also Angie…Sarah, Michelle, Layla—Lyla—that’s gotta good ring.”
“You aren’t going to suggest Mandy too, are you, honey?”
“Let’s go to boy names,” William said, leaning forward to change the radio station. “First off, no William juniors.”
“That’s understandable. I wouldn’t do that, not with the chance of Angel…well, you know.”
“Right. I want Caliban.”
“C-caliban?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that from a song?”
“No, Shakespeare. The Tempest to be exact.”
“Oh.”
“You hate it.”
“Uh, no! It’s just…different.”
“Is different a bad thing, Buffy?”
Narrowing her eyes at William’s smirk, she crossed her arms. “What about Toby? That’s a cute name from something Shakespeare-ish, right? I think we read it in, um, junior year…”
“Twelfth Night. Sir Toby, he’s the rowdy, heaving drinking, trickster guy.”
“On second thought…Caliban, huh? What kinda guy is he?”
“Well, he’s a servant and rightful owner of an island, but this bastard Prospero takes it away from him. Caliban can be a brute, but at other times he’s eloquent and pretty sensitive. He’s depicted as a monster, but underneath he’s okay…I think so anyway.”
“Caliban…no offense, babe, but I hope we have a girl.”
***
**Flashback**
“According to this, the baby’s length is already one-sixteenth of an inch. He-or-she has a spinal column, brain and heart already in development.”
“God, that’s tiny,” Buffy whispered, threading her fingers through William’s hair as he read her excerpts from the book on pregnancy that they’d just bought.
“Next week you’re vulva may be blue or purple.”
“Ew.”
“And your nose is gonna be more sensitive, that’ll lead to most of your morning sickness.”
“Great.”
“Then after that you’re gonna get the worst outbreak of pimples,” William chuckled. “And you’re going to be awfully constipated.”
“Let me see that book! I have to go through all that? I thought the worst that’d happen is that I’d get fat,” Buffy pouted.
“I skimmed the chapter on the second trimester, that’s when you’re gonna experience an increase in your sex drive.”
“Oh really?”
“Yup.” Grinning, William rolled over from where he had been resting his head on her stomach. “But I have a feeling that it’s going to be a long grueling wait until then.”
“Did you read the next paragraph? The part where it says that some women lose their sex drive completely?”
“Are you teasing me?”
“Look, it’s right here, in black and white, on page 192.”
“Well, what does that bloody book know?” he asked, pushing up her shirt to kiss around her belly button.
“You thought it knew a lot a few seconds ago when it was predicting the color of my vulva.”
“Bah, I don’t need a book to know that either.”
Buffy rolled her eyes as he tugged her pajamas down and hooked his thumbs under the band of her underwear.
“You’re so very predictable.”
“Yeah? What am I going to do next, my darling?”
“My underwear’s going away very soon.”
“Good guess,” he said, wadding up the pink fabric into a little ball and tossing aside to join her discarded pants.
“Next?”
“Um…” Staring up at the ceiling, she purred as William slid a hand between her legs to part them. “You’re going to lick me…”
“Where?”
“Down there.”
“Ha, wrong.”
“Wha--.” Not finishing, she giggled once William stuck his head under her shirt. “Oh, aren’t you tricky?”
“Yup, you’ll never know what I’ll do next.”
Buffy rolled her eyes and beamed while he licked and played with her nipples. “You’re so not Mr. Predictable.”
“And you’d better not forget it.” Coming out from under her shirt, he chuckled and kissed her twice. “Now, I’ll be right back.”
“Where you going?”
On all fours, he moved backward and settled between her legs.
“Oh…oh, how unpredictable….”
***
“William?”
“In here, pet.”
“Oh, William.” Finding him in the extra bedroom, Buffy rested her cheek against his back as she hugged him from behind. “I’m so happy to see you.”
“Was it that bad being with your mum?”
“Worse. So much worse.”
“Oh?” He patted her hands before turning in their embrace to kiss her forehead. “You’re back much earlier than I expected, you didn’t--.”
“Yes, I did. I faked sick. I know it’s bad to lie to your mother like that, but it was an emergency. I had to get away.”
“What’d she do, kitten?”
“She gave me all her ugly maternity muu-muus. I tried to turn them down, but then she guilted me into taking three full bags.”
“Muu-muus? Oh God, no.”
“I know! She also slipped in some shirts that look like freaking choirboy robes with these horrible bows around the neck,” Buffy cried, sniffling dramatically as she nuzzled her face against his t-shirt. “Then, she insisted on us walking around the block…William, nearly every person in Sunnydale has touched my stomach today.”
“What? You mean like complete strangers?”
“Even the mailman,” Buffy added with a nod. “And I heard so many horror stories…like did you know if I see something really ugly or horrible, that I’ll be doomed with an ugly baby?”
“That’s shit.”
“Not according to mom’s neighbor.”
“I knew there was a good reason to why we left that place the moment we turned eighteen--.”
“Then I had to suffer through all these questions about us. Mom’s very concerned. She wants to know why we aren’t married.”
“What’d you tell her?”
“That…well,” Buffy hesitated, knowing that they’ve never discussed the possibility of marriage. “I told her that when the time is right…when I’m not in a muu-muu, we might get married.”
“You should’ve told her that I’m working on it.”
“I didn’t know that you were working on it,” Buffy said, not sure if he was being serious. “What do you mean by working on it?”
“Did you notice what I’m doing in here, pet?”
“You’re changing the subject.”
“I took out my bookshelves, the desk and your treadmill.”
“It’s pretty empty. My voice echoes.”
“I’m going to paint the walls, but I haven’t decided on a hue. I know you’ll want a say in it. I figure, under the window, we’ll put a crib. Nearby will be the changing table and—”
“You’re making this the baby’s room?”
“Our bitty Buffy has to sleep somewhere, right? I didn’t think we’d be moving out since we’ve got the room. Maybe in the future we’ll get a house—I’ve always pictured raising a family in a house. There’s this discussion I could get into about families needing a solid foundation, but I’ll spare you.”
“You really are in this for the long-term…”
“Does that surprise you? I made a promise, I plan on keeping it.”
William kissed her forehead again before untangling himself from Buffy’s arms to walk across the room. “I got these paint samples. Think you could pick one without going too crazy-indecisive-pregnant-woman on me?”
***
“Do you believe in prepayment?”
“No.”
“You sure?”
“Positive,” Buffy sang from where she was curled up with her head on a pillow that was resting in William’s lap. “It’s going to go: movie, feet, crib. While you slave away with the manual labor, I’ll be napping and resting up for our sexcapades. How many hours have passed now?”
“Seventy-six.”
“Doesn’t the stuff that we do in the shower count?”
“No. It isn’t the same.”
“You’re so needy, honey. It’s barely been three days. Can’t you just be satisfied with spending time with me in a non-sexual kinda way?”
“I love spending time with you in any and every way that I can.”
“So, if you had to choose between sex and grocery shopping, which would you pick?”
“Well, it depends on a few things. One, had we already had sex that day? If one or two orgasms had already been had, I could take a short timeout in the name of food. Two, what are we buying at the grocery store? If we’re getting something that I really like, say more of my favorite snack mix, and if I’m completely out--.”
“You are so crazy when it comes to food,” Buffy laughed.
“Look who’s talking? Wanna bagel, pet?”
“Maybe I should think up a different example…”
“It’s alright, I get your point. You think I’d rather be sleeping with you than sharing the joy of completing everyday chores together.”
“Isn’t it true?”
“Let me run this theory past you. We were friends before we were ever lovers, right? Being best buddies that lived together, we cooked, cleaned…you name it, we did everything that didn’t involve sex, together. Now—I’m not saying that I agree—but, it would make sense if I were overly interested in having sex with you.”
“Huh?”
“Think of it as meters. Our friendly-fun meter is way up here,” he said, raising his hand above his head, “and our sex meter while it’s about here. It’s low compared to the other. Naturally—but only if I believed this stuff—one would desire to have level meters.”
“For someone who doesn’t believe, you sure know a lot about this.”
“I’m just thinking on my feet.”
“So, you’re freaking out about three days because it’ll make our sex meter unequal to our friendly-fun meter? Are you feeling okay, baby?”
“I’m freaking out over three days because I miss being inside you. Is it so bad that I want to make love to you? It’s all your fault anyway. You’re the one who looks so bloody beautiful, with your curvy body and pregnant rosy glow. God, you are so warm…your skin, it attracts me like a moth to a smoldering flame. Then, add the fact that you’re carrying my child--.”
“William--.”
“Don’t even mention him. I know it’s unfair and fucking stupid and that I’ll just end up getting more hurt before this is over, but I’ve convinced myself that you’re having my baby. It feels like mine, in my gut, Buffy. I see you waddling around, looking so downright adorable, and I get this rush of overwhelming pride. I’ve never felt more certain, more confident about anything…not this much. I know it’s mine.”
“I…I need a Kleenex.”
“Oh, fuck, I didn’t mean to…” William took a tissue for himself before offering the box to Buffy. “I hate it when you cry, Buffy.”
“I hate it when you cry. Come here, Will.” Opening her arms, she held his head to her chest while she used one tissue to dab her eyes and another to soak up his tears.
“I feel like a blubbering idiot.”
“I think you’re sweet…so sweet.”
“Well, it’s how I truly feel…no matter how ridiculous…”
“I feel the same way. I can’t imagine our precious he-or-she belonging to anyone else.”
“If Angel’s the biological father…it’ll break my heart.”
“William…”
“But, guess I’ll have to get over it if I want you in my life, which I do, more than anything. I hope to be a good father…a good husband too…”
Buffy closed her eyes, his words causing her heart to swell three times larger than its original size. “Um, was that a proposal?”
“No, because you don’t really have a choice in the matter.”
“Oh, it’s a good thing that I was going to say yes then, huh?”
“I haven’t got you a ring yet.”
“That’s fine, honey.”
“Maybe now you can help me pick one out. The jewelry stores are so overwhelming…the sales people are so bloody pushy.”
Buffy smiled, putting a hand to his face and giving him a number of soft kisses.
“Pet, we’re missing the movie.”
“Forget the movie. I want you.”
“The crib…”
“We have fourteen days to finish it. You promised me that it’d be finished before the baby comes home and I believe you, you always keep your promises. I was just impatient.”
“I think that’s gonna run in our family,” William chuckled, raising his arms once Buffy started to tug on the hem of his t-shirt. “Should we head into our room?”
“No.”
“Alright,” he laughed again, rubbing his eyes while his belt was slipped off and his pants were unzipped. “Keep it up and pretty soon I’ll be naked here.”
“And that’d be a problem, how? God, you’re already so hard for me,” Buffy hissed, taking his firm erection into her hands.
“But, I thought…”
“Let’s take it one step at a time. I’ve got seventy-six hours to make up for.”
***
**A day or so later**
“Damn it! Why doesn’t the bloody thing fit?”
“Read the instructions again, baby.”
“Sod that. They look as if they were written by a fucking…”
Buffy shook her head, ignoring William’s curses as he struggled to piece together the crib. “Honey, I’m going to run to the grocery store. You want anything special for dinner?”
“Tell me: why didn’t we buy the pre-made crib again?”
“Because you got all macho and insisted that you could build it yourself. I told you that it wouldn’t be easy and you said…”
“Shut up, Buffy.”
“Yup, you said exactly that.” Smirking, she appeared at the door of the nursery with car keys jingling in her hand. “About dinner, do you want me to pick you up something? Maybe some of those spicy buffalo wings?”
“That sounds good.”
“Okay, love you. I’ll be back in a few.”
“Wait just a minute, aren’t you forgetting something, missy?”
“Sorry.” Taking careful steps she walked around the tools and pieces of crib to give him a kiss.
“Be careful,” William said, holding his hand to her stomach.
“You too and keep the swearing to a minimum, you know once the baby’s here, he-or-she’s going to pick up all your dirty words.”
“I know, I know.”
“I’ll be right back,” Buffy laughed, kissing him one last time before heading out of the apartment.
***
“Buffy? Buffy, is that really you?”
Hearing the familiar voice, Buffy looked up slowly from the cereal box that she had been reading. “Angel…”
“Hey, wow, you look very…”
“Pregnant?”
“I was going to say wow again.” Angel admitted with a coy grin. “But you are very…”
“Pregnant.”
“How far along are you?”
“Too far, way too far,” Buffy joked with a little smile.
“Are you having twins?”
“Oh, God, no. I don’t think I could handle two—hell, I might not even be able to handle this one.”
“I’m sure you’ll do fine. Who’s, uh, the lucky dad?”
“William,” she said, looking down at her shoes. “We started to see each other after…after we broke up.”
“I always knew you guys would get together. I always felt that I was in the way of soul mates or something.”
“That’s a kind thing to say. Thank you.”
“Hey,” he shrugged, digging his hands in his long jacket. “Well, it was nice seeing you--.”
“Angel, are you busy?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m almost finished with my shopping…do you want to talk afterward? Maybe get some ice cream? I’ve been craving cherry ice cream all day and the store’s out of the kind that I want.”
“Uh, okay.”
***
“Can I ask you a question?”
Angel nodded even though he looked a bit nervous.
“Why’d you break up with me the way that you did? I thought you were a good guy.”
“I was greedy, I guess.”
“You knew the moment I came to your house that you were going to dump me?”
He nodded again before eating a spoonful of ice cream. “It’s not something that I’m particularly proud of.”
“We had…you know,” Buffy whispered, “sex without a condom. Was that to punish me somehow?”
“What?”
“Did you want to get me pregnant as revenge? Because you knew that while we were together, all along I wanted William? Is it because I…because I called out his name that one time when we were--.”
“No! W-what are you saying?”
“My baby, this,” she said, pointed to her belly, “I think it could be yours.”
“What? But that’s not possible!”
“What?”
“I did not get you pregnant…unless…no, it’s not possible!”
“Angel, what are you saying?”
“I,” pausing he glanced around the ice cream parlor.
“Come on! Tell me!”
“I can’t have kids. In high school there was this accident and…”
“You can’t have kids? Do you, um, shoot blanks?”
“Well…yeah.”
“Are you one hundred percent positive?”
“Unless there was a medical miracle of some sort, I--.”
“Oh, my God,” Buffy whispered. “Oh, my God.”
“Buff, are you okay?”
“I gotta go!”
“But, your ice cream—your purse!”
“I’ve got to go home! I can’t believe—he was so right! God, I-I can’t breathe!”
“Buffy, sit down. I don’t think you should be running…” Angel guided her back to her seat and looked uneasy as she suffered from a mixture of laughter and happy tears. “Is there someone I can call? What about William?”
“Oh, William… Yeah, let’s call him. I need to talk to him so bad.”
“Here, use my cell.”
“Can I take this outside for a minute?”
“Sure.”
Dialing as she walked to the door, Buffy gasped once she William’s voice.
“Hello?”
“Hey, baby. How’s our crib coming along?”
“Buffy? Is something wrong?”
“No. Everything is good. So, so good.”
“Do you need me to get you, Buffy? Where are you?”
“With Angel.”
“Angel?”
“We’re having a baby.”
“What?”
“Me and you. You and me. The baby, it’s yours!”
“H-how can you be so sure?”
“I feel like a total bitch, celebrating his disability and all, but Angel can’t have kids! Isn’t that great? I’m sure that we can take a paternity test just to make extra sure, but—God, I’m so happy!”
“Buffy, God, where are you?”
“At, uh, the ice cream parlor.”
“Do you think you can drive alright?”
“Probably--.”
“Then get yourself and my baby in the bloody car and come home!”
“Your baby, William,” she teased, crying harder at the sound of his tearful voice.
“Come home.”
“It’s been yours all along.”
“Are you trying to kill me? You don’t call and drop this kind of bomb! You should be here so I can kiss the mother of my child senseless before I haul her to bed.”
“I’ll head home right now.”
“You’d better. Be careful.”
“I’m going to give Angel a kiss first.”
“On the cheek?”
“Of course.”
“Make it two. Give the bastard one more for me.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I’ll see you soon.”
“Make it quick.”
***
The end.
**Notes**
*If you were wondering about the names, here are the songs that they are from:
* Rhiannon~~Fleetwood Mac
* Angie~~The Rolling Stones
* Sarah~~Fleetwood Mac
* Michelle~~The Beatles
* Layla~~Eric Clapton
* Lyla~~Oasis (I couldn’t help myself)
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!