Calling (1/?)
“Dawn … Dawn are you here!”
“Dawn, I’m back and even visible in all that,” Buffy yelled as she closed the door. There was no answer; the house was quiet.
“Dawnie, I’m sorry about earlier. I know I kinda freaked you out. Do you forgive me?”
“Ok, don’t talk to me I’m too tired for this and ways,” Buffy bitched to herself as she scanned the fridge for something to eat. As she looked up she saw a note from Dawn:
Dear Buffy,
I went to Janice’s for the night .Where
they don’t mind having me around!
See ya tomorrow, maybe.
Dawn
“Fine!!” Buffy yelled at the top of if you like them better then just move in there!”
“Arrgg… to tired to care anyways.” Buffy left the kitchen and started for the stairs.
On her way out of the room, she saw the answering machine blinking.
“Oh, what now,” she mumbled.
“Buffy, Buffy are you there!” The voice sounded like …like Angel’s. “Call me when you get this message …it important, please call…. Soon.”
Angel. No it wasn’t Angel. Could it be?’ she thought as she pushed the play button again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hello, Angel Investigations …..”
“Cordy?”
“Buffy, Is that you?” Cordy answered.
“Yeah, is everything ok? I mean Angel called me and he sounded kinda…different.” Buffy asked nervously.
“Everything’s fine! Angel just wanted you to hear the good news first!” Cordy happily replied.
“What good news?” Buffy ask, but Cordy was too busy yelling for Angel to hear here. “Angel…. It’s Buffy!”
A minute later, “Buffy?” Angel answered.
“Angel. What …. Why ….I mean you … you called?”
“Buffy, I didn’t mean to worry you. I just wanted to tell you the good news.”
“What news?” Buffy said calmly. “What Good News?” she restated.
After a moment of silence Angel responded “Buffy… I... um... I have a son.”
At the other end of the phone Buffy’s mouth just hung open in utter shock. Her mind was racing but she was unable to speak.
“Buffy are you there?”
“Angel, you have a what?” she asked, still not quite sure she had heard him right.
“I have a son! His name is Connor,” Angel proudly answered. “And I want you to meet him.”
Buffy’s mind was still spinning. “When? …. How? …..Who’s the mother?” she asked as a stab of jealousy shocked her.
“After your mother died. Well after I saw you. I came back and …I’m not quite sure how it all happened. I know that we aren’t suppose to have kids but so how … some way …I guess it was the prophecy….and it’s Darla,” Angel finally took an unneeded breath.
There was an eerie silence on both ends of the phone for several long minutes.
Angel finally spoke “Buffy are you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m still here. I’m just confused about … who did you say was… the mother?” It finally registered what Angel had just said.
“Did you say Darla?!”
Buffy was really angry, so angry she was glad that he was in L.A. and she was in Sunnydale…well maybe that was still too close . Maybe moving to Siberia would be too close.
“Yes, Buffy I said Darla.” Angel said, remorse thick in his voice. “Please, don’t be mad at me.”
“I can’t ….I just can’t …not right now!” Buffy replied, sobbing, as she hung up the phone. She was still in shock over the whole phone conversation. Falling to her knees she knelt on the floor and cried.
~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy was still on the floor when Willow arrived home.
“Buffy, Dawnie, are you here?” Willow called out.
Waiting for an answer, Willow heard something in the kitchen. As she moved slowly to towards the room it became more apparent that it was Buffy crying. “Buffy, are you ok? What is wrong? Is it Dawn? Are you ok?” Willow just kept babbling on.
Buffy had almost stopped crying by the time her friend came though the door. “No, nothings wrong, Will. Dawn’s at Janice’s house tonight.” She replied wiping her red rimmed eyes. “It’s … it’s Angel.”
“Is he all right?”
Holding back the waterfall welling up inside of her, she managed to tell Willow everything, about the phone call…Connor, Angel and even Darla.
Willow was now in compete shock also. “You mean…Angel and Darla …. Connor is their son?” Willow sunk down the side of the cabinet and sat next to Buffy.
Buffy leaned over, resting her head on Willow’s shoulder. They sat there in silence, nether of them knowing what to say.
Finally Willow found the courage to speak. “Buffy are you ok? I mean are you ok with all of it?”
“No.” Buffy muttered.
“You still love him. You wish it could’ve been you and Angel that had Connor…. not that bitch Darla.”
“No. I just don’t want to be all alone any more. I don’t want to grow old without having someone to share my life, my dreams with.”
Willow put her arms around her best friend and squeezed. “Buffy, you’ll never be alone; you have Dawnie, me and the rest of the Scoobies.”
As Buffy stood up, her knees felt like Jell-O, but she couldn’t sit there any longer, she had to get away. Away from the miserable life she lived. “I got to ...to go ….kill something,” Buffy grumbled as she picked up her jacket and a few stakes from the counter, storming out.
Willow thought about trying to stop her but thought better of it, Buffy had always dealt with things like this on her own. She sighed.
Dreams (2/?)
“Just can’t get enough, could ya, pet?”
“Spike go a way, far away!” Buffy snapped.
“Go away? I live here.”
“SO!” Buffy snapped again.
“What’s ya’re deal, Slayer? First you don’t want me, then you do and now you don’t again,” Spike yells with hand flailing around. “I just don’t get ya, Slayer! You’re bloody nuts. You know that, pet?”
Buffy burst in to tears. Once again she dropped to her knees, this time right on top of a newly dug grave.
“What’s wrong, luv,” Spike asked, his voice much more gentle and calm than it had been just a moment before. Forgetting what he was so mad about, he walked over to her and stoked the back of her head.
“It’s…it’s just … just my … my … my life…” Buffy mumbled out in between the tears.
“What’s so wrong with yer life?”
“What’s right with it?” Buffy answered, trying to regain her composure as she looked up at Spike.
Taking a good look at her, Spike realized she’d been crying for a while. Her face had lines where her mascara had run down, her eyes were bloodshot and swollen.
“Luv, what got ya so worked up?” he questioned moving her head up to his level. As he looked into her eyes, he saw all her pained emotions.
“Sorry,” was all he could say.
“For what?” Buffy questioned as she studied his face, trying to find an answer to her own question.
“For yellin’ at ya the way I did. What’s wrong? Something happened to Bit?”
“No, Dawn is fine. It’s Angel.” Buffy whispered.
“Angel! What did he do? I swear I’ll kill him if he did anything to hurt her. I’ll kill him, I mean it.”
“No. He did nothing, just called. I just can’t deal with it. Not right now. Just not now!” Buffy sobbed dropping her head once again.
Spike desperately wanted to know more but he could see it was too painful for her to talk about. Lifting her in his arms he carried her limp body back to his place.
She was practically lifeless in his arms. All she could manage was to wrap her arms around his neck and lie her head on his chest, she’d had enough.
*****
Entering the crypt, Spike looked down at the now sleeping Slayer. “Night, Pet,” he murmured, continuing down the stairs to lay her gently on his bed. Waiting only a moment to make she was a sleep, he made his way backup the stairs and out to the nearest pay phone.
“Hello?”
“Willow, It’s Spike. Buffy’s …err ….Buffy’s at my crypt.” Pausing, he took a deep breath before continuing, “She’s very ….Well, she was very upset, and she fell asleep there.” Spike was nervous about her reaction.
“Spike… is she …I mean, Buffy’s ok, right?” Willow nervously asked.
“She’s fine, Red. Sleeping. When she wakes up, maybe then I can find out what made her go so bloody nuts.”
“Good. I mean it’s good that Buffy’s ok, not the nuts part, cause you know that’s never good.” The witch babbled nervously. “Umm….Buffy kinda lost it when Angel called.”
“That’s the second bloody time tonight I’ve heard Peaches’s name. What in hell did he do to her now?”
That name in the same sentence as his slayer’s made Spike’s temper rage. He knew whatever it was, it had to be pretty bad for Buffy to get that emotional.
“He called.”
Spike snorted, “Already figured that one out, luv. Tell me something I don’t know. Like why in the bleedin’ hell he did. To get her panties in a twist?”
“Connor!” In one simple word, Willow tried to tell him everything.
“Who’s Connor?”
“Connor is …umm.. well he’s Angel’s son.”
“His what?” Spike was in shock at what Willow had just said. Angel can’t. No vampire to his knowledge had or could ever have children. It must be a mistake, he thought, as the words his son rang in his ears.
“Angel has a son. His name is Connor.” Willow repeated herself slowly to the vampire on the other end. “He called earlier to tell Buffy the ‘good news’,” she added rather sarcastically, annoyed at Angel for having to call when Buffy was already having a hard time with things.
With a sigh, she added, “Well, good news for him, but not the best time to tell her. She’s been …. She’s just been a little…”
“Depressed lately,” Spike finished.
“Yeah.” Willow knew that Spike understood what she was trying to say. “ Spike, take care of her tonight, don’t let her…”
“I won’t let her out of my sight. Keep her safe and sound. She’ll be better tomorrow. I promise.” Spike’s voice was soft, loving, and caring. For some unknown reason, he felt compelled to convince Willow that Buffy was alright. Even if he couldn’t quite convince himself.
Standing out there in the middle of the night while Buffy lying back in his bed, he did the only thing he could do. Picked up the phone once more and dialed.
After a few ring a sleepy voice answered the phone. “Hello?”
“Angel, why in god’s name did ya have to call her?” Spike fumed.
“Spike?” Angel questioned with a yawn.
“Course it’s me, ya bleeding git. Why are you doing this to her?” Spike growled.
“Doing what to who?”
“Why did ya have to call her and tell her that? Now of all times!”
There was a long pause as Angel realized what Spike was talking about. When he finally answered, his voice was a bit unsure. “I just wanted to tell her about Connor. I thought she would be happy for me. I didn’t want her to find out from anyone else. That’s all. Is she mad at me?”
“Oh, she’s just bloody fine! She’s only been crying her eyes out for hours on end. Crying so hard at times she almost hyperventilated, so bloody hard that she fell asleep from pure exhaustion! Yeah, I say she’s just bleeding fine!” Spike mocked.
“Why has she been crying? I thought she’d be happy. That’s why I called. I didn’t think…” Angel said softly
.
“Ya’re right! Ya didn’t think!” Spike snapped. “If you did, you wouldn’t have called to gloat about yer perfect life with Little Miss Cheerleader, Connor and the Devil’s spawn herself –Darla!”
“Wooahh, hold it right there just a minute! I didn’t get to tell Buffy the rest of it. So let me finish. Darla’s gone.”
“She just left? Got up and left her son….with ya?” Spike asked a bit perplexed.
“No, Darla is dead. She staked herself so that Connor could live. She sacrificed herself so that he could be born.”
“Oh,” was all that Spike could say.
“Spike, I really need to tell Buffy that. Then maybe she’ll understand. Maybe then she’ll be able to come and…meet him. I need to know she’s ok with this.” Angel pleaded with him.
Spike sighed, he knew that his Sire didn’t really mean to bugger up Buffy’s life any more than it already was, but at the same time he knew he was.
“She can’t right now. Her life’s really a mess. I’ll see if I can talk her into it in a few days or maybe a week or two.” Spike was trying to appease his Sire, and still have her psyche in mind. “I’ll call ya or have her call when she’s ready.”
“Thanks Spike. Look after her and don’t let her do anything stupid.”
Yeah, like I could stop her from doing anything, he thought as he hung up the phone, before heading back to the crypt and check on his slayer.
****
While Spike was gone Buffy had woken up and she couldn’t find him anywhere. She did, however, find several bottles of liquor that Spike had.
When he arrived at the crypt, it was quiet. He crept down the stairs only to find Buffy lying in his bed. The room was all a glow with lit candles and Buffy wearing only his shirt.
Spike’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped as she crawled out from beneath the satin sheets, slowly prowling towards him like a leopard hunting its prey. “Oh Spikey, come here,” She purred with a ‘come take me’ look on her face while croocking her finger.
“Buffy are ya feeling ok?” Spike questioned as he saw the empty liquor bottles on the floor. “You’re drunk”
“Am NOT!” she protested.
“Ya are.”
“No, I’ve had something to drink to forget all this, but I’m not drunk!” Buffy protested even louder. Then all of a sudden she began to cry again.
“Shhhh…it’s ok,” Spike said walking towards her. He hated to see her cry and she had been crying a lot lately. “Let’s get you to bed and you’ll just sleep this off.”
“No, I can’t JUST sleep this off! This won’t go away no matter how hard I try!”
“What won’t, luv?” Spike asked as he sat down on the bed next to her.
“This. My life. It won’t just go away.”
“Your life isn’t that bad, Slayer.”
“That’s the problem, the slayer thing! I don’t want to be the slayer anymore,” Buffy sighed. “I just want to be Buffy Anne Summers! A STUDENT, SISTER, AND WOMAN, NOT A SLAYER, got it?”
“Got it,” Spike said sheepishly.
“I have dreams too, you know.”
“You know what my dream is Spike? I’ll tell you!” she continued. “My dream is to fall in love, get married, have that white picket fence, have a good, no great job making more that enough money to support my 2.5 kids.”
Taking a breath, she continued, “I want a husband to love me for me. One who will grow old with me. Who’ll hold my hair out of my face while I puke my guts out for two months straight from morning sickness. Someone who’s willing to go out at three am just to get me a hot fudge sundae, in the next county if needed. Who will love me even though I’m the size of a house, all because I’m carrying his child?” she told him, her voice shaking with emotion. She wanted all those things and more. Much more.
They sat there in silence for a few moments before Spike finally spoke, “I do too, luv,” he said softly.
“I want all of it for ya … for us. I can give ya all of it except …the baby, if ya’d let me. I’d do anything to make ya happy. Anything at all.” He whispered the last part turning his head, unwilling let her see just how much he meant it for fear of rejection one again by the woman he loved more than life- or unlife- itself.
Buffy turned his head to look into his eyes. They were soft and the candle light danced in them. She saw a lonely tear run down his face. Her heart clutched look of longing, of hope.
Leaning in, she kissed him softly before whispering, “Let’s try.”
Tbc.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!