Disclaimer: Joss owns it all; I’m just borrowing things for a while to keep myself busy.
The house was dark and quiet save for the soft sound of snoring filtering down the hallway from her younger sister’s room. It was a peaceful scene, or at least, it should have been. The petite blond lying on the bed staring at the ceiling while clutching a stuffed pig tightly to her chest hadn’t had a peaceful night in weeks. There had been quite a few slow nights though. Her evening patrols consisted mostly of taking her stake for a tour of the cemetery and returning home after her sister was asleep. Apparently, the latest near end of the world experience was affecting even the demon community of Sunnydale.
Things had changed after she and Dawn had climbed out of the pit in the cemetery. Dawn was training with the Slayer with a commitment that Giles would have given anything to have seen in Buffy at her age. Surprisingly, after all the effort she had gone to keeping her sister away from the darker aspects of her life, Dawn turned out to be a natural when it came to fighting. Not that she had actually proven her skill against a vampire. Dawn was quite capable of taking care of herself, but Buffy wasn’t quite ready to put that fact to the test.
Even the Scoobies’ lives seemed to be improving. Giles had returned to England shortly after the final battle taking Willow with him. Even after their conflict in the Magick Shop, Buffy hadn’t really wanted to see her friend go, but she knew it was in the ex-witch’s best interests to go. She need to be with people who could help her get over the magic addiction for good, and getting away from Sunnydale with all its bad memories could only help the healing process. As promised, Giles called her every three to four days and kept them informed of Willow’s progress. She was still hurting over the loss of Tara and was slowly coming to terms with the magic blow out and what she had done while under the dark power’s influence. She was healing, but she was nowhere near out of the woods yet.
The tension between Anya and Xander was slowly dissipating. They were far from couple status, but they seemed to really be trying to work out their problems. Although, Anya’s renewed demon existence was proving to be a major hurtle. Xander hadn’t actually said anything, but they all knew he would have preferred to have the old, non-demon version of his girlfriend back. Anya, on the other hand, had been quite vocal about the fact that she intended to stay a vengeance demon.
Life wasn’t perfect, but for a change things were improving. Buffy should have been happy, anyone who saw her would have said she was. She’d gotten fairly good at putting on a happy face for the world in the past few months, but she was anything but cheerful.
She was able to keep herself busy taking care of Dawn and working during the day, but it was at night when he bothered her. No matter how hard she tried not to, her thoughts always returned to Spike. Her dream Spike was even more insistent on pestering her than the real thing had been.
She had been more than surprised the night Clem had told her Spike had left town. She had told him to go away so many times, and he always came back. Things were so much worse between them than she had ever thought possible, but she really thought she could depend on him. She should have known better, she hadn’t treated him with even a quarter of the kindness she had shown Angel or even Riley, and they had left her.
She knew she should have been furious, angry at the very least, and she had been, but now she wasn’t even sure what she felt. Xander was right. She had forgotten the fact that he may have been chipped, but he still was a demon. She knew he loved her, and she had used him. It h ad only been a matter of time before his demon side emerged.
She knew she shouldn’t, her friends would definitely say she had lost her mind, but she missed him. She couldn’t help but remember the moments they had together—the ones not filled with fighting or violent sex—how he had looked at her his eyes filled with concern as she had descended the stairs the night she had come back, how he had told her he loved her and made love to her that night Riley came back with his new commando wife in tow. All the times, he had been gentle, and she had conveniently pushed the fact that he was a vampire to the back of her mind.
“Stop it, Buffy!” she scolded herself flipping over to her side and pulling her knees up to her chest. She had to stop obsessing over the bleached vamp before she really did go insane. He wasn’t coming back, and wherever he was, he was probably only thinking of ways to kill the Slayer, not how to make things up to Buffy.
Dawn left her hand fall limply to her side. She had gotten out of bed and come down the hall wanting to comfort her older sister, but at the sound of the Slayer’s voice filled with so much frustration, she though better of it. She knew her sister well enough to know she wouldn’t open up when she was this upset.
Buffy was making a huge effort to make their lives happy, but she knew it was all an act. She always pretended to be asleep, but she knew how her sister would sneak into the house every night after patrolling and almost always cry herself to sleep. She knew the reason why, and she missed him too. Dawn knew she should hate Spike for what he had tried to do, but after all he had done to protect and take care of her, it was hard to despise him. It was even harder to believe he would just take off without trying to explain, without at least telling her goodbye.
She was upset, but Buffy was miserable. She wasn’t sure what at this point, but she had to do something.
“Anya, can I talk to you?” Dawn leaned against the new counter of the Magick Shop trying hard to hide how nervous she felt. They really hadn’t talked about the incident that had occurred at the shop. She was sure Anya and Xander had discussed it, but the rest of them had avoided it.
“About what?” Anya asked placing the money she had been counting back into the register and taking great care to make sure the drawer was shut securely before turning to face the teenager. “Is there a problem with one of the customers?”
“Actually,” she replied slowly, “it doesn’t have anything to do with the shop.”
“It doesn’t?” she tiled her head to the side giving Dawn a questioning look. “Then was did you want to…”
“Spike,” Dawn interrupted speaking quickly. “Actually, Spike and Buffy.”
“Oh,” the demon sighed her gaze focused on her red painted nails as she tapped them tensely on the counter. “I…I really don’t think that we should talk about that, Dawn. I really don’t want to get into the middle of that again. What we did, it was…it was…”
“I know, Anya. I’m not blaming you for anything. I was just wondering, if someone wants revenge on somebody, you’d know, right?”
“Well, yes,” she replied felling a little more at ease. “I can hear a woman wishing for vengeance almost anywhere. There are quite a few of us, so I don’t answer every call, but I still hear them.”
The younger girl sighed as her brown eyes rolled towards the ceiling. “I was wondering if you might have heard anything from Buffy?”
“Buffy?” Anya paused to think a moment. “Now that you mention it, no I haven’t, and if anyone had a reason to want to get a little revenge, it would be the Slayer. I can’t tell you haw many women I’ve seen in her position. There was this one girl in the nineteenth century…”
Dawn nodded her head periodically as Anya continued her story knowing she’d never notice the far away look in her eyes and realize she was no longer listening. She wasn’t surprised that Buffy hadn’t wished revenge on Spike. She had a feeling her sister was locking herself in her room because she missed the vampire, and Anya’s answer confirmed her suspicions.
“Anya, would you mind if I told the afternoon off?” she asked turning so quickly she nearly tipped over the stool next to her. “There’s something I need to do.”
“Well,” she looked rather annoyed at being interrupted, “I guess not, but I’ll have to dock your pay.”
“No problem,” she tossed over her shoulder as she crossed the shop heading for the door. “See you tomorrow!”
“Clem?” Dawn burst through the door of the crypt, entering much like her sister used to when visiting the crypt’s previous owner.
“Dawn,” the wrinkled demon jumped from the old chair, which he had moved way too close to the tiny black and white television set. He looked surprised to see her considering she was usually working at Anya’s shop at that time of day. He also looked rather nervous, but then again, Clem looked nervous even when he was happy. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you,” Dawn smiled at the baggy demon.
“Oh,” Clem sighed relaxing a bit, but his eyes still darted about nervously. “I wasn’t really expecting company, but I think I have some Cheese Whiz if you’re hungry.”
The demon shuffled over to the banged up little refrigerator sitting by the wall of the crypt and began to rummage through its contents. Dawn had helped him haul the castoff fridge to the crypt to store his newfound favorite snack. It didn’t work all that well, but for a demon living in a crypt with its only source of electricity being stolen by tapping into the wires running to the nearby houses, it was a luxury. She would have to remember to ask him who was the electrical genius that had been working on wiring cemeteries when she didn’t have more pressing issues on her mind.
“Um, I think I’ll pass,” she replied. Thoughts of the last time her friend had gotten the munchies flashed through her mind, and it was far from appetizing. “I just really wanted to ask you something.”
“Oh, okay,” he gave her a weak smile as he popped his head over the fridge door. “You know I’ll try to help you out if I can. New demon in town? Do you want me to do a little recon for the Slayer?”
“No, nothing like that,” her fingers clutched the back of the moth eaten chair as she spoke. “I just wanted to know if you’ve heard from Spike.”
Clem closed the refrigerator door and stared at the appliance for a moment before he spoke. “Spike? Heard from him? No, I haven’t talked to him since he left.”
“Are you sure?” Dawn pushed. “It’s really important.”
“I’d remember if he’d gotten in touch,” he answered quickly. “I’d tell you if he did. I really would.”
“Yeah, I know,” she sighed, “but, Clem, do you think you might be able to get a message to him?”
“A message? I don’t know where he went. He was really angry when he left. He didn’t day where he was going.”
“Come on,” Dawn told him, “I know you can’t just pick up the phone, but you’re a demon. I’m sure you can get a message to him.”
“Well, I might be able to,” he replied wringing his hands together and stretching the loose skin of his fingers taunt as he did so. “Why is it so important to get in touch with him?”
“He needs to come back,” Dawn stated sharply.
“Come back?” the demon shook his head causing his long ears to flop about. “I don’t think so. The Slayer wouldn’t want him back in Sunnydale.”
“That’s just it. She wouldn’t say it,” she added, “but she wants to see him again.”
“You mean she’s not angry with him?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” Dawn replied with a small smile. “She’s not really happy with him, but I think she misses him more. Listen, just do what you can, please? They really need to talk, and I think it will make Buffy feel better.” With that the girl turned from the demon and exited the crypt leaving the door swing shut behind her without waiting for Clem’s answer.
“See?” Clem spoke to the shadows in the far corner of the crypt. “I told you that you should just go talk to her. She misses you.”
“It’s not that easy, mate,” the shadows answered back.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!