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05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
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10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
08/31/16 03:43 pm
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Authors Chapter Notes:
Okay. I meant to hold some chapters back, but the first one was so pitifully meagre that I'm giving you another!

A pair of bright blue eyes was watching intensely. Confusion clouded her for a moment, before disbelief broke through, and she smiled at him.


He returned the smile, and stroked her hair softly. "You know it, pet. It's me."

She shook her head blearily. "Can't be you. You... you died. Twice."

He chuckled. "So did you, luv."

She struggled to sit up, wincing as her healing ribs stung. His arms went around her immediately. "Hey, hey, stop. Easy, baby. Don't hurt yourself, pet. Please." Easing her back against the pillows, he seated himself on the side of her bed.

"How?" She asked, catching his hand in hers.

Shrugging, he squeezed her hand gently. "Some old prophecy, souled vampire becomes human. Real boy, an' all that. Shanshu. Belonged to Peaches, though, not mine to have. It was him who really wanted it."

"Angel's dead," Buffy told him in a whisper.

Ducking his head to avoid her gaze, Spike nodded. "I know. Saw him go out, didn't I?" His voice was rough.

One of her hands moved to stroke his face, and she ran it along the blade-like edge of his cheekbone. "Does that mean you're human now?"

He wouldn't meet her eye. "Guess so. The heartbeat and the pulse pretty much gave it away for me."

Six years on, and still, every morning without fail, the steady thrum of his heartbeat took him by surprise. After over a hundred years without a pulse, the presence of it after so long a time still unnerved him. Being human had been a nightmarish experience for him, right from the first suddenly necessary breath. Lying in an alley in L.A., bleeding out, and for some reason, not healing. He could feel his consciousness slipping, the unbearable pain in his broken legs. The burning pain in his lungs when he forgot to breathe...

"How do you feel?" Buffy asked, placing her warm hand on his forehead. Now that he was living at body temperature too, her body heat was less intense, somehow more pleasant.

He took her hand, and pressed it to his lips, brushing a kiss over the tips of her fingers. "Shouldn't I be askin' you that?" He raised an eyebrow at the bandages adorning her neck and shoulders.

She blushed. "Stupid vamp, nearly got his one good day, I guess."

Spike frowned at her. "Where was it? Have the Slayers dealt with him?"

Her eyes narrowed, and, too late, he was reminded of how his behaviour must have echoed Riley and Angel, and their overbearing ways.

"Doesn't matter, there's nothing left to deal with. He's dust, Spike. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself. I don't need the Slayers running around after me."

He made a noise close to a growl – the closest he could, given his state. "Hate to prove you wrong, pet, but what the bloody hell are you doin' in here then? For God's sake, Buffy!" He got off the bed, and strode over to the window, staring out at the street below.

She could see his shoulders shaking as he struggled to control his breathing. "Spike..." She prompted softly. He turned to face her again, his expression upset.
"Ah, I'm sorry, luv. Right git, aren't I? Fightin' with you already. Didn't mean to get mad like that. Jus' scares me to see you in here. You look so... so..."

"Human?" She offered wryly.

With a groan, he crouched down beside her, grabbing her hands in his. "Promise me, luv. Promise me you'll be careful. If I ever lost you again, I -" He broke off as unshed tears choked his throat.

"Not gonna happen, Spike. I'm here to stay. As long as we're both here, there's no need to -- You are staying right?" She winced. "Not... not that you have to, I mean. You can leave if you like, I'm not..."

"Pet, I'm not goin' anywhere. As long as you want me by your side, I'm here."

She smiled. "You free forever?"

With a chuckle, he nodded. "Forever's always a good place to start."

She leaned closer to him, ignoring the searing pain in her chest as her injured ribs twitched. "I've missed you, William," she murmured softly.

"Missed you too, luv. More than I could ever say, or you could imagine."

Feigning nonchalance, she pretended to be preoccupied with adjusting the blankets on her lap. "So...you missed me, huh?"

"Every bloody second."

"...but when you came back... the first time... and you were working with Angel, you never called..."

He blew out a sigh. "I know, I know, pet. Jus' thought you wouldn't wanna hear from me. Thought I was dead, an' all, didn't you? Went out like a hero, I did. Didn't want you to lose that image if me." He paused, then continued shyly. "I was finally your champion."

"You were always my champion, Spike." She suddenly gave a huge yawn, her eyes drooping with fatigue.

"You must be tired, luv. I'll be on my way now, let you sleep."

"No! I mean, I want you to stay. Well, if you want to, that is... I won't force you or anything, it's just..."

He smiled sadly. "Missed me, huh?" When she nodded, he planted a light kiss on her forehead. "I'll stay, if it's what you want, then I'll stay. An' even if I left, I'd be back tomorrow, if you wanted it."

"Sounds good to me." She stifled another yawn.

"Sleep, missy."

Giving him a tired laugh, she nodded. "Alright, bossy vampire... bossy ex-vampire, I guess," she amended, sheepishly. "You're staying?"


"Good." A pause. "Spike?"

"Yes, pet?"

"Will you... I mean, I'd like you to... What I'm trying to say is..." She threw her hands up in frustration. "Look, it's been seven years, Spike. Seven. Years. And I don't know about you, but I would really like it if you... if you would... Spike? Could you just hold me?"

Blinking back unexpected tears, he nodded dumbly. He sat himself up on the bed, easing himself beside her, terrified of jostling the bed for fear he'd worsen her injuries. Gingerly, he slipped an arm around her.

She made a noise of exasperation, and pulled him closer, roughly, ignoring the pain and his objections. She settled herself against him, a sound of contentment in her throat. He hugged her more tightly - close enough to be as affectionate as they both needed then, but not so much as to incur any pain.

Feeling exhaustion creeping up on her, Buffy shut her eyes.

"Spike?" She whispered sleepily, the name feeling so good in her mouth again.

"I like your hair."

He gave a deep, rumbling chuckle, blowing his warm breath onto the nape of her neck. "Thanks, pet." He instinctively ran a hand through his dark curls.
With a stupid smile on her face, the Slayer drifted to sleep.

Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for reading! :D

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