COUSIN ARABELLA
by Lilachigh
I’ve always been fascinated by the reference to Spike’s cousin in Goodbye Iowa. As far as I know never referred to again, so I thought I’d clarify the situation! This is set just before Christmas and so before Buffy’s birthday party in Older and Far Away
Chapter One - The Invitation -- Spike has a big favour to ask
‘You’ve got cobwebs all over your ceiling,’ Buffy murmured dreamily.
Lying on your back on top of a stone coffin was a really good way of spotting all the little housework details that Spike had missed, she decided.
‘Hello. Vampire. Crypt. Spiders. Deal with it,’ came the muttered response from beneath the ruffled white blonde curls buried against her breast.
‘I could buy you a feather duster.One of those really long ones on a pole - ’
Spike’s head jerked upwards. ‘Listen, missy, if you buy a feather duster, I can think of a thousand other uses for it.’
‘Promises, promises,’ she giggled and felt herself blushing. She must get out of this habit of flirting with Spike. She was here for one thing and that was....well, to feel and not think and he was convenient and useful and doing something to her now with his fingers that was going to make her - ‘oh god, oh god, don’t let him stop, please don’t let him stop,’ she screamed inside her head.
And he didn’t.
When she came back from the swirling red and black place he sent her to, he was sitting cross legged at the end of the tomb, looking at her.
She glared at him. ‘You’ve got dressed,’ she said, taking in the jeans with a frown.
‘I’ve got a favour to ask, Slayer.’
‘And you have to have clothes on for that?’
‘Do you want to come out with me tomorrow?’
‘What?’
Spike sighed. ‘Exactly which words in that sentence don’t you understand? You, me, tomorrow ?’
‘Are you asking me on a date?’
She didn’t know whether she was pleased or horrified. She slept with Spike, they had sex - OK, mind blowing, heart racing, body shaking sex, but that was all it was; she had convinced herself of that. In fact she convinced herself of that every time she saw him! But they weren’t dating.
‘No! Yes! Look, I’ve got to go somewhere tomorrow and I need to take...the invite said...’
‘Bring a friend! And you haven’t got one!’
Ignoring the fact that she was naked, Buffy sat up, eyes sparkling with glee. ‘You’ve got a invitation and need a date!. Hey, how come you get invitations? Don’t tell me you’ve got a mail box. What does it say on the envelope? William the Bloody, third crypt on the right, Sunnydale Cemetary!‘
‘Ha, bleeding ha, Slayer.’ Spike looked uncomfortable.
For one glorious moment Buffy thought he actually looked shy.
‘I heard on the grapevine. And I just thought you might like the drive.‘
‘So, not because you don’t want to look like the big no hoper who turns up on his own?’
‘I took Dru to a party once,’ Spike said, reaching out absentmindedly to stroke her foot.
‘Ummm,”
‘She killed most of the guests.’
Buffy jerked her foot away. ‘Oh gross, Spike!’
‘ It was sort of business. I’ll tell you about it some day. But this is a bit different. This is family.’
Buffy stared at him in silence, then pulled on her jeans and shirt. Obviously the fun part of the day was over. ‘You haven’t got any family, Spike. You told me you killed them all.’
Spike shrugged. ‘Vampire, luv, can’t help the nature of the beast. But this is my Cousin Arabella. I told you about her once when you were mooning around after GI Joe. She married a regurgitating Frovlax demon, name of Div’vid. Nice bloke, as far as Frovlaxes go, of course.Which isn’t very far usually, as they’re home bodies on the whole. ’
Buffy balanced on one foot, trying to pull on her boot. She had a sudden flash back to whenWillow had cast her spell on them and she and Spike had become engaged. She could recall Xander standing there with an astounded expression on his face and knew exactly how he’d felt.
She decided to concentrate on one point at a time. ‘You’ve got a cousin?’
‘I had lots of cousins,’ said Spike cheerfully. ‘Big families in those days, pet. Not like the ones and twos today. So I had first cousins, second cousins, cousins once and twice removed. We called them ‘kissing cousins’. ’
‘And you, what, didn’t kill this one?’
‘I turned her,’ Spike said calmly. ‘She was the only one of my family I could stand. Wankers, the rest were, the whole lot of them.’
He got up and prowled restlessly around the crypt. How could he ever explain to Buffy that he’d been the laughing stock of his family since childhood. The butt of every joke. Bullied unmercifully at school - roasting, they’d call it, being held over a roaring fire till you screamed for mercy - called Mummy’s boy and other names he refused to remember.
He remembered some family gathering when his cousins had found him upstairs on his own reading. They’d twisted his spectacles and torn pages from his book and thrown them on the fire. Then they’d laughed as he tried to fight back, ineffectually swinging fists that never connected because he was weak and pathetic.
And the only personwho hadn’t laughed was Cousin Arabella. Of course he’d turned her when he’d had the chance. Killed all the others but not her. She was his favourite. He’d felt it was only fair.
He hadn’t told Dru, though. Arabella hadn’t been beautiful, but he’d had enough brains, even in those days, to realise that Dru wouldn’t take kindly to a ‘kissing cousin’ vampire being around.
‘So - ’ Buffy decided to steer clear of the kissing scenario. It made her uneasy to think of Spike and kissing together, although she didn’t understand why. They’d done enough of it recently. ‘So - she married this David?’
‘Div’vid,’ Spike repeated patiently. ‘Froflaxes are regurgitating demons. They sort of bring up the contents of their stomachs and chew it again. Like cows.’
Buffy sat down abruptly. ‘And she married that?’ she said faintly, wondering how on earth they coped at meal times. Watching Spike drink his blood was bad enough, but this sounded just - euwwwwh.
‘Hey, family here! He’s good bloke is Div’vid. Apart from the fact that he supports Manchester City and not United. Born on the blue side of town not the red. But then no one‘s perfect. Clem prefers basketball to soccer. No, Div’vid’s a bit slow, perhaps, but he’s been a good husband to Arabella.’
‘Oh.’ Buffy fell silent. She pulled a can of coke out of the fridge and popped it open. Where good husbands were concerned, she was no judge. Her own father had flown off as soon as he’d had a better offer. And all the men in her life so far had upped and left her. Even the vampire had gone to L.A. because he couldn’t bear the pain of them being together.
She dragged her thoughts back to the present. ‘So, what’s the invitation to?’
‘Bloody hell, Slayer. Can’t you just say yes or no?’ Spike followed her to the fridge and took out a mug already filled with pig‘s blood. ‘They’ve been married for 100 years. It’s a party.’
Buffy froze, her can of drink half way to her lips. The enormity of what he’d said had just hit home. The dread that every girl feels when the man - or thing - she’s going with invites her out rushed over her.
‘Spike, I haven’t got a thing to wear!’
to be continued
‘
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
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AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!