Prologue


She had stopped screaming a long time ago, even before she’d stopped fighting. It was strange how your body defended itself, hers had just shut off. Now when he came she was simply an audience. Far away she felt his ice hands roaming over her body; felt it without feeling it.

His body was heavy, pressing hers against the cold floor, dark eyes sparkling as they stared into hers. They had sparkled even more when she had squirmed beneath him, tears streaming down her cheeks as she begged for mercy. Begged for mercy – how ridiculous that seemed now. He didn’t even bother to hold her down anymore, and still she just lay there. A dark haired woman came now and then too. Sometimes to watch, sometimes to taste her blood, sometimes to fuck with him in front of her. Those were the best times; she knew he wouldn’t touch her for a while and neither was she alone in the dark, just waiting.

From time to time she would wonder how long she had been here; lying on the stone floor with her hands chained to the wall. It felt like she had been here forever, but she couldn’t say for sure how much time that had passed. Maybe weeks, maybe days. It had been more than four days, that she was sure of; she’d counted the first days by watching the only, small, window in the room.

It was almost… silly. When she had become the Slayer she had felt so strong, close to invincible. She’d never wanted the power, no, but she could not deny what coursed through her veins. Strong, ha! The word bore no meaning. He would soon return, with his hands of ice and eyes of blackness, and she would not fight.

***

“Long time, no see, Peaches.”

The unfamiliar voice made her startle a little and she tilted her head slightly to the side, towards whoever had spoken.

“Well, Willie, it wasn’t I who decided to run away again.” That was him. “But there’s no need to worry; I’ve been keeping Dru warm for you.”

“I’m sure.”

She felt eyes on her and turned her head back towards the stone wall again.

“I can see you’ve been...” The unfamiliar one drew in a sharp breath. “Bloody hell… the Slayer?!”

A shadow fell over her and there were hands on her body, gentler than she was used to but the skin had a vampire’s coolness. She flinched once and stilled entirely. The hands ghosted over the bruises on her hips and touched the fang mark just above one of her nipples.

“How did you get her? You must’ve tricked her somehow, I’ve never seen a Slayer who-“

He snickered. “Yeah, and you’ve ‘met’ so many.”

“I didn’t gain the title ‘Slayer of Slayers’ for nothing, mate.”

Laughter echoed in the room but the vampire beside her didn’t say anything more, even though she could almost taste the anger that rose in him. A hand returned to touch her. It grazed her dirty hair for a moment before it tangled in it and roughly forced her head backwards. She knew what he wanted now; reaction.

“Have you put a spell on her or something?”

“Nope. That’s what twenty days of torture does to a Slayer,” he said.

“You mean raping and blood drinking.”

“And some whipping and beating.”

The hand slowly relaxed its hold and glided down her bare arm to grip her right wrist. It pulled once, twice, and then its owner chuckled lightly and stroked her cheek. The sound of light footsteps made him freeze in the middle of the movement.

“My William,” a female voice said, “the moon whispered about you coming back.” It halted for a second. “Daddy brought Sunshine here for me, do you like her?”

“She has a certain… charm.”

Suddenly a harsh growl vibrated through the air.

“You’re mine! You cannot make Sunshine yours! She’s forever lost to –”

There was a small shriek and next sounds of shuffling and humming. She heard him saying something but couldn’t make out the words. The vampire at her side stood and moved over to the pair. She stopped listening. Her eyelids were becoming heavy. Sleeping was freedom and she gratefully lost herself in it.

When she opened her eyes anew she wasn’t alone.

“Happy to see you’re finally waking up,” the unfamiliar vampire said, “was beginning to think you’d sleep the night away.”

He sat beside her, so close that she could feel how warm he wasn’t. The smell of cigarette smoke reached her and she blinked slowly.

A hand petted her hair, once, twice. She was not sure if he was mocking her or not. When the hand travelled lower though, glided down her throat to her breast, she fixed her eyes in the ceiling and searched for the place in her mind where she was a goner. She knew where this was going. But the hand went stock-still over her ribs.

“Are you flying away, pet?” he murmured. “No need to worry. I don’t fuck Slayers, I kill them.”

‘Pet’ – the perfect nickname for her. This one was more clear-sighted than him. Maybe he would kill her. Please kill me.

“No need to feel offended,” he said ironically and she nearly frowned, “I’m sure you’re a pretty little thing underneath all that dirt.”

Why was he talking to her? She wanted to go back to sleep, but had a feeling that he wouldn’t let her. She was right. When she began to close her eyes, the fingers on her chest began to tap against her skin. He snickered.

“Ah, ah, Slayer,” he said. “No nap for you. You and I are having a chat and it would be impolite to fall asleep.”

She obeyed and fixed her gaze in the ceiling. Silence filled the air for a long time and she had just started to think that he wouldn’t say anything more, when the fingers took up their tapping and he at last spoke.

“I want revenge. You can give it to me,” he declared. “I want to kill them, both of them.”

Her? Inside her mind she laughed. This one was even more insane than the vampiress.

Next there was, all of sudden, a face right in her field of her vision. Pale skin. That was all she needed to know.

“You’re not looking at me, Slayer.” A hand grabbed her chin. “I can get you out of here, if you promise me you’ll help me kill them.”

The hand became rougher and a warning growl vibrated through the air.

“Stupid bint! Are you going to let Angelus get to you? Come on, you’re the Slayer for fuck’s sake!”

No, I’m not.

A beat of heavy silence. Slowly, the vampire let go of her and she heard him sigh. There was a sound of clinging metal, and suddenly her arms fell heavily down onto the floor. One wrist was lifted, then the other and she was free. So he had decided to rape her after all. Wait... he’d said she was too dirty. Maybe he would just drink from her then. Silly vampire. He didn’t need to let her loose to do that.

There was some rustling before a pair of arms came around her. They began to lift her, only to let her down again. More shuffling. Something soft was pulled around her. Then the arms came back and she was pressed against a hard chest. Hard chest. Like his, but still not.

The whole world rocked, almost like when she had been Mommy’s little girl and swung in the garden. The feeling was surprisingly comforting. Next minute the vampire held her with only one arm as he fumbled with something. She realized that they were outside. Air. She opened her mouth slightly. Fresh air. A sound and then she was lifted into... a car. Yes, it had to be a car; it started to roar when the vampire sat down on her right side. The sound of the engine made her sleepy again and she gave in.

***


What the bloody hell was he thinking?! Spike threw a glance at the sleeping Slayer beside him and quickly locked back out through the window. He stepped harder on the accelerator. She had fallen asleep as soon as he’d started the car. If he hadn’t heard her steady heartbeat he would’ve thought she was dead. She lay deadly motionless, slumped in the seat, one head lolled to the side and her mouth slightly open. Even the steady rise of her chest was close to invisible.

He must’ve gone insane; maybe all the years with Dru at last had begun to affect him. The girl in the car was in no shape to fight. Why did he rescue her again? The answer came immediately; Angelus. It was almost worth it just for the look on the bastard’s face when he found that his toy was gone – if Spike had only got to see it. He supposed he could just drain the girl, and leave her in a ditch somewhere, Slayer blood tasted like heaven after all. Why was it he didn’t do that?

“Nothing tastes as sweet as revenge, William.”

The dreams were still clear in his mind, that was why. Spike slowed down when he reached ‘Sunnydale Motel’, this place was as good as any. It would do for the day. Hopefully Angelus wouldn’t think to look for him here.

He parked the car and got out, shutting the door carefully not to wake the girl. The clerk in the reception was a small woman who stank of sweat and wore a very low cut shirt. She leant over the desk, and pushed her chest out like he hadn’t already seen enough. He didn’t even want to eat her. Quickly, he made his way back to the car. The only garment the girl wore was his red shirt and it wasn’t even buttoned up properly. He glanced at the motel doors and sighed before he shrugged out of his duster and swept it around her. She woke up when he lifted her and blinked slowly against him, but he didn’t think she really saw him. Her eyes were empty and she lay boneless in his arms.

The clerk eyed him curiously when he stepped back inside with his burden. He let his eyes flash yellow once and a second later she was looking through a bunch of papers. The people in this town were not stupid.

As he stepped into his room he frowned, putting the girl down. She swayed and sank to the floor, her back against the door.

“Snap out off it, Slayer!” Spike said, waving a hand in front of her face.

She didn’t move, just blinked again. It wasn’t enough for him. Spike snarled and kicked the wall.

“Bloody…! Angelus is gone! And I told you I wouldn’t touch you!”

In direct contrast of what he’d just said he gripped her shoulders and shook her. Still nothing, she didn’t even blink now. He let her go and she slumped against the wall again.

“Whatever!” He raised his hands in defeat. “You just do whatever you want.”

He sat down on the bed and removed his boots. His t-shirt landed on the floor, but he halted when he reached the belt clasp. If she decided to flee it wouldn’t do to run around starkers in the hall. He pulled the blinds over the window and threw himself onto the bed.


***


She didn’t know where she was. The room was almost completely dark after the vampire covered the window. She suspected that it meant the sun was rising.

She wasn’t cold. For the first time she wasn’t cold. Something heavy lay around her shoulders, something the vampire had put there. She had no idea why. He had yelled at her for a while, and then he’d seemed to just give up and walked over to the bed. Right now, he was asleep; she could hear his deep breathing. That was weird. Never before had she known a vampire to breath, he most definitely hadn’t.

She’d been sitting on the floor for a very long time. The vampire would most likely wake up soon. She wasn’t tired anymore. Her arms didn’t hurt. This forgotten feeling almost scared her.

There were movements from the bed and she flinched. The one who lay in it rolled over onto his back and yawned loudly, before sitting up.

“Haven’t moved, have you?” His voice was husky from sleep and she flinched again.

Slowly the vampire stood and stretched. She watched him out of the corner of an eye as he began to walk towards her.

“It didn’t occur to you... I dunno, wash up or something?” he said. “Vampire noses are pretty sensitive, but I suppose you know that.”

She did know that. Wash up, was that what hadn’t occurred to her?

“Well, you bloody well can’t just sit there!”

She wanted to melt into the wall.

“Come on.” He said and grabbed her forearm.

He literally dragged her into the bathroom. It was small with white tile and the sharp light hurt her eyes after so many hours in the dark. Well in there he held her up with one arm around her middle as the other ripped the shirt of her body. In the light she felt more naked than she’d done when he had been lying on top of her, holding her down as he thrust inside her.

“Can you stand on your own?” he asked.

When she didn’t respond a low, irritated growl rumbled through his chest. He pushed her inside the shower and she fell to the floor. Her head hit the tile and dizziness washed over her for a few seconds. That was all the time the vampire needed to get rid of his jeans and step in after her. Next there was warm water streaming over her. She found herself lifting her head so it would flow over her face. He reached for her again and helped her sit up. She turned against the water anew.

“Feels good, huh, pet?”

She directed her attention to him and blinked. Then again. A pair of eyes. Blue colour. She wanted to touch it. Her hand flexed and he saw it; the eyes lit up for a second.

“That’s it,” he murmured. “Now I’ll just clean you up, yeah? You’ll feel even better once all that grime is gone.”

Hands all over her body; her scalp, face, shoulders, breasts, arms, between her legs, thighs, calves, feet. At last he rose to his feet and pulled her up to rinse her. It felt like the water was shut off all too soon and she shivered. If it was because of the cold or not she wasn’t sure. The vampire draped a towel over her shoulders and when he took a step backwards to dry himself, she stood. Her legs trembled but she stood. He grinned at her and the pretty blue sparkled.

“Just what you needed?” he said as he dressed himself in the jeans again.

Soon he stepped forward to roughly dry her and then he took her arm and led her back into the room. She managed to take six steps before her legs gave out. He caught her before she crashed to the floor. Muttering something under his breath, the vampire placed her on the bed.

“Sorry, I don’t have anything girly.” The vampire handed her a black t-shirt. He rolled his eyes when she made no move to take it and pulled it over her head himself.


***


What was he supposed to do with her? The girl in question sat on the bed with her eyes fixed on the floor. She didn’t appear as lost now as when he had brought her here, no, she’d actually stood on her own two feet. But now what? Spike started to pace. If she didn’t come back to herself... how in hell was she supposed to fight? Should he take her home and hold a close eye on her until she recovered? Or keep her here and take care of her as best as he could? Weren’t Slayers supposed to have faster healing than normal humans, mentally as well as physically?

Abruptly he spun around and went over to kneel before the girl, as he rested his hands on the bed on either side of her. She looked up at him, right into his eyes and he felt a sparkle of hope begin to burn.

“Look, Slayer,” he said. “I really don’t know what to do with you. Do you think I should take you home or...?”

The only answer was a twitch in the corner of her mouth, Spike took that as a sign of that she was listening.

“The faster you recover the better,” he mumbled, more to himself than to her. “Don’t think that I’ll forget your promise to me though. I’ll keep a close eye on you.”

A very close eye.

He lifted his head and his gaze met hers. She didn’t look away, just kept on staring and he couldn’t help but stare back. He caught himself raising a hand to touch her hair and shook his head.

“Yeah, that’s what I’ll do,” he murmured. “Take you home.”

Wait. He didn’t even know the chit’s name and she hadn’t said one fucking word so far. How was he supposed to know where she lived?

“Bugger.”

He stood up and... News. Missing girl, there had to be something; papers, telly... That was what you did when your kid disappeared, wasn’t it?

“I’ll be back in a sec, love.”

He locked the door behind him as he left the room.

‘Something’ wasn’t the word to call it. The placards showed a picture of a pretty blonde with a wide smile, who he barley recognized as the girl he had stolen. The mother was obviously begging the kidnapper to step forward or some shit like that. Spike rolled his eyes as he scanned through the article in the newspaper.

“Hey! You gonna pay for that?”

The highly irritated voice belonged to a middle aged man. The smell of blood was suddenly overwhelming. It had been three days since he’d fed and the two of them were alone in the small shop. Spike took a step forward and slipped into game face.


***


1630 Revello Drive. Spike stopped the car and looked over at the girl sitting in the passenger seat. Her name was Buffy. It had to be one of the most ridiculous names he had ever heard. Yet, Joyce Summers had obviously found it perfect for her only daughter. There was a light on in the house even though it was past midnight; the woman must be awake.

“We’re here, pet,” Spike said and wondered for the thousandth time if this was the right decision. Should he really let her out of his sight? What if the mother decided to move? After this encounter, with her child missing for days, that seemed very plausible.

Still, he stepped out and walked around the car to open the passenger door. The girl was staring at the house. Was that... recognition? Maybe this was what was needed to get her to really snap out of herself.

“Hey, Slayer?” She turned to him. “You know this place?”

Her gaze was in his, but she said nothing. He hadn’t really expected her to. He gripped her arm to pull her out of the car.

“No.”

The voice was no more than a whisper, but firm, strong. His hold loosened but he didn’t step back. The Slayer wasn’t in her right mind. She’d rather stay with a vampire, the same sort of creature that had raped and tortured her, than in her own home with her mother? But her hesitation made his thoughts spin again. Stupid bint. He began to pull on her.

“No.”

It wasn’t a whisper any longer. It was a woman’s voice, a demand. Spike tilted his head and looked at her.

“No? ‘No, you don’t want to go inside’?”

She didn’t answer.

“Well, you bloody well are! I‘m not gonna take care of you!” He came close to shouting and forced himself to lower his voice, “I got you out of there, it’s you who owe me now, Slayer.”

He meant to grab her again but she pulled away, as far as she could in the seat anyway, and he halted. Straightening he slammed the door shut and kicked the car in the wheel before walking around it and slipping back into the driver seat. He sighed deeply.

“So what do you suggest, huh?” he asked. “I take you away and we live happily ever after? Do you even realise that you could be tucked up in your own bed right now?”

Still nothing.

“Sodding....! Listen, alright?”

He gripped her chin and roughly forced her to look at him. For a second he thought he saw a glint of fear flash over her features, but then it was gone and she was just... nothing. He took hold of her shoulders instead and shook her. Still no reaction. Spike forced himself to take a deep breath.

“You’re going into that house. Right. Now.”

What had he been thinking? Listen to the girl?

This time Spike did not hesitate a second as he pulled the Slayer out. She stumbled and would’ve fallen if he hadn’t held her. Putting his arm around her waist he led her towards the door. She trembled against him.


***


Memories of white walls flashed before her eyes. A man with a dark beard who looked at her as if she was four years old. Feminine voices “Buffy, it’s time for your medicine”, women with clothes as white as the wall.

I won’t go back there.

She stopped but the vampire didn’t give away. They were in front of the door. The sound of knocking seemed to echo in the night. After that; tears and arms who desperately pressed a body against her. Mom. Mom with dark shadows beneath her eyes and who looked at the vampire like he was the world’s saviour.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Mom said and embraced the vampire too.

He was taken aback by that, probably he’d just wanted to sneak away in the quiet. There were talk about the police and calling people and questions. Still, it didn’t take long for Mom to become silent and look at her.

“Honey, how are you?” Mom gave a shaky laugh. “Stupid question, isn’t it? Of course you’re not alright.”

The vampire shook his head and smiled politely, then said something and did his ‘sneak away’- thing. She forced her mouth to open.

“I’m better now, Mom.” she said, her voice hoarse and small. “I’m home.”


***


He watched from the shadows how the Slayer stepped inside the house with her mother. The older woman’s arm was wrapped securely around her daughter’s shoulders and her lips were moving. Spike didn’t give a damn about what she said. He’d heard the girl speak though. It seemed like the mother could be the key for her to come back to herself. With one last glance at the house he turned around and walked away.


TBC

Chapter 1


Tonight was the night.

Spike was not a patient vampire. It had been almost five weeks and the Slayer had yet to go patrolling. Hell, she hadn’t even stepped outside the house after darkness fell. He had been standing in the shadows beneath her bedroom window almost every single night. Sometimes he would stay for just ten minutes, sometimes for hours; watch her settle into bed and listen to her thumping heartbeat. Nightmares haunted her, he was certain. At least once every night he heard her trash and turn for some minutes, until she suddenly went completely still, her thundering heart telling him the dream had reached its climax.

She was the Slayer for Christ’s sake! He knew she went to school, he’d heard her mother ask her about class. So why wouldn’t she patrol?! Where was her sodding Watcher? Shouldn’t he be chasing her around the cemeteries?

Spike refused to just keep on waiting. Even though Angelus and Dru had been surprisingly quiet these weeks; he had felt them close once or twice, but otherwise there had been no sign of them.

Tonight was the night when he made the Slayer crawl out of her corner. Spike lifted the cigarette to his lips and took a deep drag, gaze fixed upon her window. Tonight he was standing in the center of the lawn instead of in the shadows. Tonight he had an absolutely clear view of her – just as clear view as she would have of him if she looked out. He took another drag just as he saw her freeze. For long seconds she was completely still before she walked over to the window, her moves achingly slow.

Some part of her that’s still the Slayer, then.

Even through the dark Spike could see her hand shaking as she opened the window. He felt a grin start to play in the corners of his mouth.

“Hey, Slayer!” Spike called, “Aren’t you gonna patrol tonight either?”

Their gazes clashed.

“Who are you?” Her voice was surprisingly steady and her eyes didn’t waver from his.

“Ah-ah, pet. Don’t say you don’t remember me?”

The same second he uttered the word ‘pet’ her eyes went wide with recognition, Spike was surprised she hadn’t known who he was immediately. On the other hand it was pretty dark outside, at least for humans. That, and she hadn’t been totally clear in her head the last time they met.

“So you do,” he said. “Are you coming out now?”

“What?! No!”

He arched an eyebrow. “No? I believe you owe me something.”

Slowly she turned her head away and he knew she’d closed her eyes. So she remembered after all. Spike dropped his cigarette to the ground and crushed it under the heel of his booth.

“You want me to take... them... on, now?” she asked.

“Hardly. You’ll just get yourself killed.”

She burst into laughter. A laugh that was totally humourless. Her head thrown back a fraction, golden hair spilling over her shoulders as her arms wrapped around her middle. Some seconds later the sound stopped as abruptly as it had started.

“I don’t owe you anything,” she said, “you’re a vampire.”

“I bloody well saved you!”

“I never promised anything!”

“So you’re just gonna stay in there forever? Hoping Angelus scampers away?”

“How do I know you won’t kill me the second I step outside?”

“Because I cannot take Angelus and Drusilla on my own.”

He hadn’t thought she’d be able to surprise him. She seemed so fragile, vulnerable. It was what was expected he supposed; things like that didn’t leave you without scars.

“You promise?” she asked, “Not to touch me?”

“Cross my unbeating heart.” Spike said, placing a hand on his chest.

She slung her legs over the window frame and jumped the ten feet to the ground. She landed a few feet away and crossed her arms over her chest. Spike could smell the fear on her though her eyes showed nothing but curiosity.

“What do you want exactly?”

“You know what I want,” he said, tilting his head to the side.

“To kill them,” she said “Him and his whore.”

If someone had called Dru a whore thirty years ago Spike would have snapped that someone’s neck. Funny how things changed; now he leered. “Yeah,” he said, “I suppose we’ve got something in common.”

“Huh?”

“Angelus. Drusilla. Dust flying in the wind?”

She hastily took a step backwards, eyes widening. “You don’t know anything about what I want,” she said shakily.

“Slayer...” He reached for her, almost touching her arm. Then he realized what he was doing and quickly withdrew it again. Instead he raised both hands in the air in a show of surrender.

“Of course not,” he said. “Tomorrow we are patrolling, pet.”

“What?! We so are not!”

“Yes we are. Your pathetic excuse of a Watcher is obviously not hunting you through the graveyards.” He pinned her with his gaze. “And you sure as hell can’t take Angelus on now.”

The girl opened her mouth, then closed it again. Spike flashed her an amused grin before turning around.

“See ya tomorrow, Slayer.”


***


He must’ve gone insane. There was no other possibility. Making plans to tag along with the Slayer on patrol? Yeah, insane. Watching her kill his own kind. Insane. Insane. Insane. Spike finished his whiskey.

“Spike, d-don’t you think y-you should...”

Spike looked up. Willy.

“Gimme the bottle.”

“O-of course.”


A stupid fucking Fyarl demon had been staring at him for the last couple of minutes. Spike stumbled as he stood up and turned towards it.

“Something you wanted?”

Except it didn’t sound like that. It came out a lot more slurred than he had intended. The Fyarl demon grinned and stepped forward. Willy was somewhere to the left of Spike, begging them to take it outside. Spike raised his fist and slammed it into the demon’s face.

The hit barley budged the bigger demon and Spike scowled, moving forward to strike again. In some ways he supposed that he had been begging for a fight. Sitting alone, swallowing down shot after shot he looked like an easy target. The problem for the other demon though, was that it itself wasn’t really a challenge either – big and muscular yes, but without the moves. But then, most demons of this kind were of the growling sort; all show.

This time the demon caught his hand in the air and Spike became quite surprised – for a second. Then the demon rammed its own fist into his face and sent him flying backwards. Strong bastard. Perhaps he had misjudged it after all, or the alcohol had affected his brain more than he thought. Swaying a bit as he rose to his feet Spike tried to steel himself for the next blow. Which came in the form of the demon simply lifting him into the air.

“Hey!” Spike shouted, a lot more sober, “You’re not playing fair here, mate! Can’t-“

He was thrown into the side of the bar. Cursing at the pain that shot through him, Spike stood again. The demon was grinning like a fool, as if it had already won. Ha! No. Bloody. Way. Roaring, he threw himself onto the other. It fell under his weight, probably mostly out of surprise, and a stool was crushed as they landed on the floor.

Just what I needed. Spike punched the demon and it growled under him. He growled right back at it and raised his arm again. There was no way he would let a stupid Fyarl demon take him! With its clouded eyes and weak stank of alcohol and fast heartbeat and... How did it manage to roll them over?

Maybe a split lip had been just what he needed to compose himself. Growling again, he pushed the demon off him and struggled to get to his feet. Resting his hands on his knees and panting he glared at the demon.

“Last chance to back out, you wanker.”

The only answer was an ugly grin. Spike took it as a sign that the other welcomed death and fell into a fighting stance as it rushed forward. This time when the demon attacked he was prepared. There was no way he was going to lose this.


***


He left the other demon unconscious but still alive, mostly because Spike could barley stand himself. There was blood streaming from his nose and he suspected that some of his ribs were broken after the demon had thrown him into the bar. The woman in the reception of the motel stared at him when he passed by.

He fell onto the bed and closed his eyes. Sleep claimed him immediately.

“Sunshine wants you, my William.”

Drusilla was lying on the big wooden table, staring at the ceiling. Suddenly she giggled and ran her hands through her hair.

“Daddy will spoil her,” she said. “Twist her insides.”

Said Daddy stepped into the room a second later. Spike could smell the fresh blood on him. It was mixed with the scent of her, Drusilla, with her arousal and fear. She had never feared Spike, he had never wanted her to. Never before.

“Say, Dru,” Angelus leant over the vampiress, mouth close to her ear. “Why don’t we go someplace more private? I don’t like the company here.”

Spike rose from his chair on shaking legs, he was still weak. The other male chuckled when Spike had to support himself against the wall.

“Are you alright Willie?” Angelus asked in mock concern. “You look a little... what’s the word? Oh – pathetic.”

Dru’s laugh rang loudest in Spike’s ears as he clenched his jaw and forced his legs to take him towards the door. He had to feed tonight, he wouldn’t get better than this. But just as he placed his hand on the door handle the ground began to shake beneath him. ‘Bugger’ was all he had time to think before he began to fall.

He never hit the ground. Next moment he was standing in front of the Sunnydale sign.

“Home sweet home,” a female voice said.

Spike spun around.

“Hey! That’s my line!”

“If you want it, come and get it,” the female said. Spike couldn’t make out her face, but he was sure that she was some kind of demon. ”The light is so beautiful here, Spike.”

Slowly Spike stepped forward. She matched his steps, backing in a circle against the sign. When she couldn’t go anywhere she lifted a hand and he saw it glisten of something. She licked her index finger slowly, like it was a delicacy.

“I’m sure you’ll think she is as sweet as this, William,” she said. “But then you’ve always had a strange taste.”


***


Slowly Buffy lay down on the bed, pulling the comforter up around her. The girlie room surrounding her had no longer given her the fragile peace it had since that vampire had taken her here.

I’m supposed to be the Slayer.

But she didn’t feel like the Slayer anymore. She had barley had time to get used to the fact that vampires were real when Merrick died, became just another cold body with two gaping wholes in the neck. White walls followed that and when they let go of her… his face flashed before her. She had superpowers, wasn’t she supposed to have a super mind too?

She had recognized the vampire immediately, even though she two minutes earlier couldn’t have described him if someone had asked. Last time they met she had only seen the pretty blue. But she remembered his way to move, to talk. Now Buffy had thought he looked kind of... she wasn’t sure. Different, maybe. With black leather and bleached hair, an amused smirk tugging at his lips.

What had made her climb out of the window down to an evil, bloodsucking thing? To the same sort of creature as him. And the things he’d said! She wasn’t ready to start patrolling. She doubted she would ever be ready. Buffy pulled the comforter tighter around herself. Maybe it wasn’t about becoming ready but her choosing to take control over who she was.


***


“Hello Buffy.” Giles greeted her with a wide smile when she entered the library. “How are you feeling today?”

“Just fine,” she said, hugging her books tight to her chest. “You said something about training?”

‘Something’ was an understatement. His words had haunted her the last few weeks. She knew he didn’t want to pressure her, but the Watcher in him refused to leave the world without a Slayer. In the beginning he had hinted about starting up the training again, and last week he had began to bluntly ask her if she felt up for it. Until today she had desperately avoided the question.

Now Giles’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and he looked her over as if he was searching for physical sign that she was feeling better.

“So you’re feeling ready?” the man asked.

“Yes.”

Immediately he went to put the ‘closed’ sign outside the library doors. When he opened the doors to his weapon chamber, or more like a giant cabinet, she couldn’t help but grin as well. The collection he had always made the Slayer in her do a Snoopy dance. Today was strangely not an exception.

Then he handed her a staff and her smile dropped.

“Giles... I know how to use this,” Buffy said.

“Well, yes,” Giles said, “But you have been taking it slow lately Buffy, after... everything.”

The last word came hastily, almost apologetic. She didn’t say anything, just took the staff he had handed her, then raised it when he said ‘an guard’.

Giles went easy on her. The problem was that ‘easy’ for Giles meant fighting a combination of a dying snail. She had never seen her Watcher grin so broadly as when she knocked him onto the floor the first time.

“Very well,” he said half an hour later, rubbing his lower back with a small grimace, “I’m sorry to bring this up so quickly, Buffy, but you do realize that you have to start patrolling again soon?”

“I guess.” She shrugged, watching as he straightened himself.

“Buffy.” Giles placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I know this is hard for you but... you are the Chosen One, we cannot leave the hellmouth unguarded.”

She just nodded.

“Why don’t you head home now,” Giles said. “I know how easily your mother becomes worried these days.”

This had to be the moment.

“Giles...” She drew in a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about... telling her, that I’m the Slayer.”

“Buffy! You know that-”

“That everyone I tell is in danger, yeah. But she’s talking about moving out of town; the only reason why we haven’t done it yet is because I’ve refused, Giles.”

She met her Watcher’s eyes and for a second they just looked at each other. Then he nodded slowly. “All right, I’ll think of the best way to tell her.”

“Thank you.”


***


Spike stirred soon after the sun began to set. At first he wasn’t sure what had woken him up, then he felt the strong signature of his Grandsire. Still he lay completely motionless for a moment, blinking. His thoughts were foggy and he felt almost dizzy. The bed beneath him wasn’t familiar at all and the room... He lifted his head slightly, where the hell was he? Wait. Sunnydale – the Slayer – Patrolling – Willy’s – Angelus. Next second he was on his feet. His head immediately began to spin, but he forced himself to ignore it and scanned the room. A grinning vampire sat in a worn armchair in a corner of the room. Spike sank back onto the bed, eyes fixed at Angelus.

“To what do I owe this pleasure, mate?”


TBC

Chapter 2


The other’s grin turned into a smirk and his nostrils flared. Spike closed his eyes for a second. God, let the booze have covered the Slayer’s scent.

“Spike, my boy, you surprise me,” Angelus said, as he folded his hands in his lap, “You come back to town, don’t even try to steal Dru back but instead head straight for the Slayer.”

Spike stiffened for the fraction of a second before he forced a strangled chuckle.

“What’re you –“

“You see, someone stole her, and I’d planned to make her a part of our happy family.” Angelus rose to his feet. “You don’t happen to know who did it, do you, Spike?”

Spike carefully let out the breath he had been holding and lay back down on the bed, hands beneath his head. With a small smirk he raised an eyebrow. “Why would I know?”

Next second he was pressed down in the mattress, with the older vampire’s hands around his throat. Spike let out a choked laughter.

“How can I tell you anything now?” He was barely able to get the words out and his voice was hoarse. It wasn’t like this could kill him though and all he could feel was relief. He doesn’t know.

The grip didn’t loosen one bit, instead Angelus leant down so his mouth was right against Spike’s ear.

“So you didn’t do it then?” he whispered, “Didn’t decide to take on your third Slayer when she was all frail and powerless? Maybe for Dru’s sake, hoping she’d –”

“You fucking…!” Spike growled and in his anger he managed to flip them over, capturing his Sire’s hands in both of his. “Dru is history, just like you!”

Angelus chuckled and made no attempt to free himself.

“Did I hit a weak spot?” His eyes were wide and face mockingly serious as he spoke before he suddenly ripped his right hand free and gripped Spike’s neck, pulling him closer. “Do you remember the good old days, Spike? Just the three of us. Or, well, Drusilla and me and you as the third little wheel.”

Forcing himself not to snarl as the older vampire’s thumb started rubbing circles into his skin, Spike patted the arm that lay over his shoulder.

“Sorry, Peaches.” he said, “You are not going there again.”

Then he pulled back and smashed his fist into Angelus’ face.

It was not like Spike didn’t know that his Sire had always been the physically stronger one of the two. However, Spike was slimmer and faster and he had the element of surprise on his side. So after that first hit, while Angelus was – hopefully – drowning in dizziness, he jumped up and ran for the door.


***


“Did you have a good day at school?” Joyce asked.

“Huh?” Buffy blinked. “It was fine... good.”

“So...”

“Um...”

“Well...”

Willow and Xander both turned to her immediately.

“You go first.” They said at the same time.

Like she was fragile. Like she deserved another treatment after ‘what she had been through’. Maybe she did. Or maybe they both could just stop acting as if she’d break down any moment.

The redhead gave her a forced smile and glanced at Xander, who glanced right back. They almost seemed to have a secret communication these days. And she wasn’t invited. Because she could break. Willow looked back at Buffy.

“So, Buffy, um... what did you do… er… this morning?

Buffy stared at the food on her plate, trying to focus on something else – anything else. Her thoughts flew to what had happened last night. Slowly she picked her fork up.

“How are you feeling today, honey?” Joyce asked, leaning forward over the table.

“Fine, I’m fine.”

That vampire really was… odd. Why had he even saved her in the first place? Weren’t vampires supposed to be evil? Merrick had told her that there were no exceptions. There is no humanity left in them, they are ruled by their demons. Still, this vampire had acted completely for his own sake and...

For the first time Buffy noticed the worried expression on her mother’s face and attempted to compose herself.

“Sorry, Mom,” she murmured, “I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“I can see that. Anything you feel like sharing?”

“Nah, it’s just… nothing.”

The older woman looked at her, a frown marring her features as she placed a warm hand over Buffy’s. Buffy had to force back a sigh. There were strong signs for that this would turn into a heart-to-heart conversation. They had had too many of those the last weeks.

“You know you can tell me anything,” Joyce said, “I know I can’t understand the things you’re going through. The things that you’ve survived... Buffy, are you sure that you don’t want to talk to the counsellor again?”

“I told you, Mom, I don’t feel like it gave me anything.” Especially since I couldn’t actually tell her anything as I don’t want to be classed with schizophrenia.

An unknown blonde woman, dressed in scarlet, who only was able to say ‘I understand’. It hadn’t gone many sessions before all Buffy wanted to do was yell at her.

“You were only there seven times.” Joyce continued, “And it was straight after you... were rescued. Maybe if you went now, you would have a different perspective on the situation.”

“I didn’t like her.”

“We could try to find another? I’m sure there’s plenty of –”

Buffy rose to her feet abruptly, grabbing her plate. “Can I be excused?”

For a second Joyce just looked at her before she sighed deeply and put her fork and knife down. Slowly Buffy sat again. Joyce just meant the best for her, it wasn’t her fault that she had no idea what had really kidnapped her daughter. Is it really? She refused to listen when... Buffy shook her head, chasing the thought away. Perhaps this was the right moment to... But Giles had said he’d help her find the right way to tell. Memories of white walls flickered before her eyes. Yes, she would definitely wait for Giles’s solution.

“I’m sorry.” Buffy mumbled, “I didn’t mean to... But I’m feeling better now, honestly.”

“I’m not talking about your body, Buffy.”

Buffy lifted her gaze and met her mother’s.

“Me neither.”


***


Spike was determined to stay on the sidelines.

He was propped up against a headstone, watching the Slayer as she fought for her life. At least that was what she seemed to be doing. She circled the fledgling as if he was a Master Vampire, like she couldn’t take him out in a blink.

He had been surprised when she’d come with him without protests, without saying anything at all really. A nod was all he had got so far. But then, she didn’t really need to speak. Her hammering heart and pale face told him everything he needed to know; she was afraid.

The other Slayers he’d met hadn’t been afraid, not even when he’d killed them. Or maybe they had been and he just hadn’t noticed, but that seemed unlikely, he was a vampire after all.
Now there was irritation burning in his veins. It wasn’t on his timetable for the girl to be afraid. He bloody well needed her! And she was nowhere ready to take on Angelus. Hell, he bet all his possessions that he could do his third Slayer tonight if he wanted to.

Spike hopped down as the blonde staked the vampire and began to dust herself off. When she turned to him she was smiling a little and there was a twinkle in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. Before he could help himself he had a small answering grin playing on his own lips.

“A spot of violence just what you needed, pet?”

“Maybe,” she said.

When she began to walk again he fell into step beside her, one hand going into his pocket in search of his pack of cigarettes.

“Are you evil?” she asked suddenly.

Spike was taken a back by her question for a second, then he shrugged.

“Of course. I’m a vampire.”

“So you’ve murdered billions of people and stuff like that.” She swallowed hard. “Why do you want to kill... him? Shouldn’t you be helping him?”

He put the cigarette in his mouth, lit it and took a deep drag.

“For what he has done...” Spike looked up at the night sky. “He bloody well deserves to be ripped into pieces.”

He could feel her eyes on him but didn’t turn towards her. Instead he shuddered, shoving his free hand deep into his pocket.

“Let’s find some other vamp for you to pummel on,” he said. “Then you can do this on your own tomorrow.”

There was no answer to that, but she kept following him. As he glanced at her small form he thought about just getting out of town. To hell with Angelus and Dru, at least he wouldn’t have this girl to… fix. He was immortal, he could wait until the girl died and a new Slayer was called. It probably wouldn’t take especially long either, not with how she looked. If he chose to he could even drain her right here, right now.

What did he have to lose in waiting really? Some weeks, maybe months, of his eternal life? And if she died, he could just wait for the next... but what if she was in the wrong place? She could be in Japan and Angelus and Drusilla might still be in California.

No, for the moment this girl was it.

Spike sighed.


***


The vampire at her side was muttering under his breath. He seemed irritated, but Buffy couldn’t tell why. She couldn’t help but look over her shoulder now and then, neither could she help how hard she gripped her stake. The signature of the vampire beside her was stronger than the fledgling she’d dusted, although she wasn’t sure why. She remembered how Merrick talked about how she would be able to feel when a vampire was close by, Giles had also mentioned it that time at the Bronze. So how come that... er...

“What’s your name?”

His head shot up and he turned towards her. For a second she could have sworn he was about to laugh.

“It’s Spike.”

“Spike?” Buffy frowned. “What kind of name is that?”

“Please. You’re one to talk, Buffy.”

She stopped and turned to glare at the vampire. “What’s wrong with Buffy?”

“What’s wrong with...” Spike snorted. “It’s a ridiculous name.”

“You... you...! Like ‘Spike’ is any better!”

He rolled his eyes as Buffy crossed her arms over her breasts. Still, she thought he almost seemed to be... amused. Like he was laughing at her. Stupid vampire.

“I got it after torturing my victims with railroad spikes.”

The world stilled around her and she hastily took a step backwards.

“You... you’re kidding, right?” Buffy closed her eyes. “Of course you’re not.”

She backed another step as he just looked at her, the message clear in his eyes; ‘what did you think?’.

“I’m insane,” she murmured, “Walking around with a vampire in a... of course... I just asked if you’d killed... I’m insane.”

For a second Spike could just look at her, next he burst into laughter.

“Come on, Slayer!” He took a step closer to her. “What were you expecting? That I was different? That I rescued you from Angelus out of the goodness in my heart?”

Buffy pulled her jacket tighter around her as she backed another step, and he didn’t follow. Just because he had saved her... that only meant that he needed her for something, a need he’d already told her about. Vampires were selfish, they couldn’t feel any real feelings. Wasn’t that what Merrick had told her? She’d been stupid to just take for granted that this one was different. Quickly she turned around and began walking away.

A hand around her wrist stopped her after just a few steps. She looked down at the fingers gripping her, pale with black painted nails. The hand was so big compared to hers. Slowly she lifted her face and looked into his eyes. The blue was just thin circles around his pupils.

“You need me,” he said.

Long moments they were completely still, staring at each other.

Then Buffy tried to pull her arm from the vampire’s hold. He refused to let her go. What was he trying now? She felt her heart begin to beat faster and frowned at him as she tugged harder. He placed his free hand on her shoulder and she halted her movements.

“You need me.” He said slowly, as if he was talking to a child – perhaps that was what she was in his eyes. “I’ve already told you, you can’t take Angelus and Drusilla on your own.”

“My Watcher, he can –“

“He can, what? Watchers watch, they don’t fight.”

Buffy thought back to her training with Giles the day before.

“But if I.... with more training...”

He put both of his hands on her shoulders and spun her so she was facing him completely.

“Listen to me, little girl!” he said. He took a deep breath, looking away from her and back again. “You can’t kill them by yourself. I can’t kill them by myself. But together, we can do it! I promised you I wouldn’t hurt you, and I haven’t.”

The grip he had on her was almost painful now, but just almost. Buffy thought back at the hours they’d spent in that motel room, how he’d dropped her on the floor, pressed her up against the wall. Had he hurt her? She wasn’t sure. And now. Now his eyes were boring into hers as his face revealed everything about how he felt; irritation mostly, mixed with the slightest glint of... desperation? One of the first things she’d been taught was that vampires didn’t have any feelings. But then, what was that his face showed right now? And he’d saved her, even it was just because he wanted her help. He had saved her.

“You’re not looking at me, Slayer.” A hand grabbed her chin. “I can get you out of here, if you promise me you’ll help me kill them.”

The hand became rougher and a warning growl vibrated through the air.

“Stupid bint! Are you gonna let Angelus get to you? Come on, you’re the Slayer for fucks sake!”

“Okay.”

His eyes widened. “Did you just say...?”

“Okay.”


***


She had agreed.

That single word, ‘okay’, echoed in his mind. Spike wouldn’t have thought she would give in so easily. He’d assumed that he would have to talk her into it, maybe even threaten her a bit. Instead... maybe she was afraid. Who was he kidding?! Of course she was afraid. But of what? Angelus and Drusilla? Of getting captured again? Of walking through these cemeteries alone?

The Slayer had been quiet for the last twenty minutes as they’d made their way towards her home. Now, when they were standing below her bedroom window, he found himself running a hand through his hair. Now, what?

“Well –“

“Are you coming with me tomorrow?” she asked.

Maybe that was what she wanted. Someone who would protect her if Angelus showed up during her patrolling. That sounded quite possible.

“One more time, alright?” Spike said. “I’ve got better things to do than hanging around in a cemetery.”

“I thought that was what vampires did.” She raised her eyebrows.

“That’s what fledglings do, pet,” he said. “Toddle back inside now, little girl. Like I said, I’ve got things to do.”

He watched as the Slayer climbed in through her window. Then he shook himself and walked away. He needed a new place to live.


TBC

Chapter 3


Willow was fumbling with a button on her sweater, her gaze flickering between her hands and Buffy. Xander had disappeared a while ago after mumbling a lame excuse – he just ‘had to do that thing precisely now’. Thus, it was just the two of them sitting on a bench outside the school together with a choking silence.

“So...”

“So...”

Long seconds passed.

“Um... h-have you finished your E-English essay?” Willow asked.

“Not yet.”

Buffy closed her eyes. This was torture. When she opened them again the other girl was still deeply engaged with the button.

“That button is pretty amazing, huh?” she said.

Willow flinched and Buffy almost felt bad for her words. Almost. After all, the girl just meant well. As the redhead finally looked at her, however, she couldn’t regret them.

“I’m sorry, Buffy,” Willow murmured. “It’s just that... I don’t really know what to say and Giles says that I should just act normal but how am I supposed to act normal when nothing’s normal and we didn’t really know each other very well in the first place.”

“Wow. You really don’t need to breath.”

Willow smiled, but she still avoided eye contact and Buffy swallowed hard. The memory of how easily they’d been able to talk to each other was far away – lost, along with the carefree girl Buffy could barely remember herself being anymore.

“I get it,” Buffy said, standing up. “This just isn’t working.”

“What do you mean?” Willow asked.

Buffy just shook her head, giving the redhead a small smile before she turned around and walked away.


***


The hit sent him to the floor.

Ever since Darla had been dusted by the Slayer things had become worse. Spike supposed that Angelus needed more entertainment to pass time, or maybe this was his way to handle the loss. Darla had been his Sire after all, but on the other hand Angelus has never struck him as the mourning kind. Perhaps he just needed new entertainment.

“Say, William, what bothers you most? The fact that...”

The rest of the words were drowned in Spike’s own ragged breathing – he had learned to not listen to his Sire a long time ago.

Spike shook his head to clear it. He could smell the sunlight outside the building, but it was one of those days when it refused to lull him to sleep. Instead he’d been lying on the worn couch all morning after he’d chased away some fledglings from the house. This was just temporary though, the place stank of blood, piss and rotting corpses. Too much, even for a vampire. Spike had no idea how the ones before him had been able to live here, but newbies always were a bit lost. Didn’t know to clean up after themselves, to not leave corpses laying around in their lair.

Staring up in once white ceiling, he sighed deeply. He wasn’t even tired and there were many hours before the sun would set. Not that it stopped him from going somewhere, he could always take a sightseeing stroll through the sewers? Spike sighed and closed his eyes.

And Drusilla, who walked over to Angelus and placed a perfectly shaped hand on his chest. Her eyes twinkled as she leant forward to whisper something in his ear. Spike refused to listen in to what she was saying, instead he focused on getting back to his feet. That didn’t keep his thoughts from flying. Was she asking Angelus to let him be? Or trying to coax him into ravishing her again?

He managed to rise and stood, swaying unsteadily as Dru gently bit Angelus’ earlobe and her hand travelled down his chest, lower, lower.

As the scene flickered before his eyelids he quickly sat up, clutching the couch’s armrest desperately. He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. The memories shouldn’t be able to just... He should’ve learned by now; he was in Sunnydale, he’d met some of his family two times for the first in a decade. Of course, memories would haunt him even more now. They would not control him though. Spike lay back down and shut his eyes again.


***


“Buffy... Buffy!”

Buffy turned around just as Giles caught up with her, panting slightly. He muttered something about ‘old men’ and ‘Slayers’ and she could feel a small smile tug at the corners of her mouth.

“Why did you run after me?” she asked, with a raised eyebrow. “I would’ve waited for you to catch up.”

“Since you didn’t hear me the first four times I called, I was left with no choice.”

“Oops. Sorry.” Her smile turned sheepish.

Without another word Giles opened the door to an empty classroom and gestured for her to go inside. Since they hadn’t decided to meet this afternoon she doubted he wanted to talk about the training – they seemed to have solved that problem yesterday.

He closed the door behind them as she put her books down and hopped onto a desk. Giles took his glasses off and began polishing them, a sign of that he had something important to discuss with her. Buffy’s brow furrowed, what could... Her eyes widened.

“So you’ve thought about it?” she asked.

“Yes, and actually I’m agreeing with you.” Giles said. “Did you say your mother’s been talking about moving?”

“Yes.”

Moving away. Away from him, away from school and Willow, away from the Slayer. But then, that wasn’t true. The move from Los Angeles and here had showed that she couldn’t escape from who she was meant to be. And Giles. Buffy looked up at her Watcher, he was good to her, cared about her. Almost like a... She forced the thought away.

“So, what am I gonna say to her?”

“Actually, I think it would be better if I spoke with her.” Giles said. “Or possibly the two of us together.”

“Do you think she’ll... freak out?”

Again. She added silently. Perhaps she should tell him about what had happened the last time. But what would be the point? He’d probably just feel sorry for her and she didn’t want anymore pity.

“At first, yes,” he said, “Buffy, you have to understand that it is a lot to take in; she is to find out that her daughter risks her life every night. She will also understand what really happened with Angelus. So yes, she might, well, ‘freak out’.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Giles... I think it’d be best if you told her, alone.”

“Very well.”

Buffy met his gaze for a second before she turned away to gather her books again. She wasn’t sure if she felt relieved or worried.

“I’ll come over tonight.” Giles said.

Buffy stilled with one hand on a book. “T-tonight?”

“The sooner the better I believe, don’t you agree?”

She forced herself to move again and hugged the books close to her chest, as if they were a lifeline. With her free hand she nervously tucked a lock behind her ear.

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just that... didn’t we just say that you’d do it alone?”

“It can hardly be a problem if you’re in the same house.”

“Um… well… I’m meeting a... a friend tonight.”

The Watcher’s reaction was obvious, even though he tried to hide it by polishing his glasses again. His eyes twinkled and she could see the smile that he attempted to keep at bay.

Great, just great. He had been worrying about that too. Wasn’t it enough with her mother... mothering her? Giles shouldn’t worry about her making friends. She pursed her lips, irritated, but it quickly turned into a small sigh instead. She didn’t have any reason to be angry at someone who just wanted the best for her.

“I see,” Giles said. “Is it that nice girl Willow Rosenberg?”

“Eh... yes, it is.”

And his big smile was on, he didn’t seem to notice that her answering one was forced.


***


She landed gracefully on the ground, but although Spike stood barely ten feet away it was like she didn’t see him. Her gaze was glued to the house and her brow furrowed as in deep thought. Last night, she’d at least nodded at him... and since when did he care if the bloody Slayer greeted him or not? Not waiting to see if she followed, Spike spun around and headed towards the nearest cemetery. He heard the girl follow and she quickly caught up with him, but she kept looking over her shoulder towards the house as long as it was in sight.

He’d be a fool not to know that something was distracting her. The demon she was fighting wasn’t an easy one, yet half her attention was elsewhere. It danced around her, and most of the moves she made were out of instinct. It wasn’t long before Spike had had enough.

Growling deep in his throat he stepped forward without a second thought. Angrily shoving the girl aside he aimed a blow towards the demon’s face. It growled back and swung at him.

“What the hell are you thinking!” he shouted, as he grabbed the demon by the arm and twisted.

It howled in pain and the Slayer stared at him wide eyed.

“Er... Spike...” she said, “Maybe now isn’t the best time to talk.”

He’d turned slightly towards her when she spoke and got to pay for it with a bleeding nose. Wiping the blood off with the back of his hand he saw the girl rush forward and grab the demon’s arms, forcing them behind its back. It struggled in her grip and didn’t notice that Spike had recovered until he hit it in the face a second time.

The demon began to sway and she let it go, just to wrap her hands around its throat instead. Soon the crack of a broken neck was heard.

“So?” Spike said, as he started to walk again.

“What?” The Slayer fell in step beside him.

“You’re not here,” he said, “Your mates having a party and you’re not invited? Or is the Watcher going on about a new apocalypse?”

For a second she just stared at him, next she looked away and her hands clenched into fists. She murmured a word so low that not even his vampire hearing could catch it.

“Slayer?”

He could see her jaw clenching before she drew in a deep breath and seemingly forced her body to relax.

“My mom” she said, in a loud clear voice this time, without a hint of tremble in her voice. Her gaze continued to avoid his though and Spike almost rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and...?” he said in a harsh tone.

She flinched and finally looked at him. The fear was written over her features and he had to stop himself from taking a step towards her. He shook his head.

“Why would you...” she began and then swallowed. “My Watcher is going to tell my mother about… my calling... that I’m the Slayer.”

“Your mum doesn’t know?!”

The girl stared at him like he was insane and this time Spike did roll his eyes. He was about to open his mouth again just as they walked by a fresh grave. The Slayer froze and looked down at it the same moment as a hand shot up through the dirt.

Spike took a step back, gesturing to the vampire whose head was now showing.

“All yours, Slayer.”

She hauled up her stake and waited for the vampire to crawl out of the grave. This wouldn’t be much of a fight; the vamp was slow and clumsy. She had probably passed the age of seventy when she was turned.

“I just don’t get why you haven’t told her before,” Spike said, “Seems natural to me. Isn’t she wondering what you’re doing out all night?”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice that I sneaked out through the window.” She finished the sentence with thrusting the stake through the vampire’s heart.

“Didn’t think about it.” He shrugged. “So she’s never asked about it then? Never suspected anything?”

Moving nearly in slow motion, she wrapped her arms around herself, with the stake secured in her right hand and pressed against her chest. Slowly she began to walk again and Spike fell into step with her, watching her closely out of the corner of his eye.

They had been walking for a couple of minutes when she suddenly spoke again.

“I did tell her, you know,” she said low-voiced, letting out a completely humourless little laugh. “She and Dad... they thought I’d gone insane and sent me off to a mental hospital.”

Spike put both hands in his pockets, waiting for her to continue. Now he understood why she had been hesitant to go into the house the night he’d brought her back.

“They let me out... as you see.” That hollow laugh again. “When I stopped talking about vampires and stuff.”

“And tonight your Watcher is telling your mum,” he said

“Yeah.”

It wasn’t like he could tell her to sod off; they were… allies… now. A big part of him really wanted to though, he had his own things to worry about. He didn’t need her little problems on top of his, not when he really had no idea how to comfort her.

“It’ll be alright,” he said, awkwardly, in the end.

“Yeah,” she murmured. “It’ll be alright.”

An uncomfortable silence followed before she finally looked up at him.

“So,” she said “How are we going to do tomorrow?”

Spike felt a grin tug at the corner of his mouth, she seemed as eager as him to switch subject.

“What about tomorrow?” he asked

“Well... yesterday you... Are you coming with me then too?”

He hadn’t really thought about it. From the beginning he’d thought that this, patrolling, would be a ‘one time’-thing, just to help her get back in the saddle. He was a vampire. He didn’t hunt down his own kind.

“I mean,” she said hastily, “you expect me to help you kill him, but you won’t help me to patrol?”

She did have a point there. He was expecting her to help him out; maybe it wasn’t right to leave her to patrol the cemeteries alone. Especially since Angelus and Drusilla were lose; it was only a matter of time before one of them paid her a visit and she wouldn’t be able to do much if she was dead. Perhaps he should actually assist her in training. After all, she was an ally for now.


***


When Buffy climbed into her bedroom through the window, the first she registered where the murmuring voices. The clock was close to half past twelve, and Giles hadn’t left yet? Perhaps she should go downstairs to join them; she’d never be able to sleep if she didn’t know how it had gone. She watched through the window as Spike lit a cigarette and started to walk away, pondering her options.

As she slowly opened the bedroom door and went down the stairs the memories of white walls flashed before her eyes. She found herself gripping the rail so hard her knuckles whitened.

They were sitting in the living room, side by side on the sofa. A familiar book was lying on the small table in front of them. She knew immediately what the title was, Giles had put it down in front of her the first day in Sunnydale high school.

The floor creaked beneath her foot and both persons in the living room looked up. Joyce’s eyes were full of tears.

“Buffy.”


TBC

Chapter 4


“Buffy.”

Slowly Buffy stepped forward, gaze flickering between her mother and her Watcher. The former tried to dab discreetly at her eyes and Giles cleared his throat.

“I didn’t hear you coming in,” he said. “Didn’t you say you were going to a friend’s place?”

“Mr Giles!” Joyce cried. “What kind of mother do you think I am? It’s gone midnight – of course Buffy is –”

Abruptly she quieted and closed her eyes.

“But that’s not true,” she murmured, before looking up at her daughter and something slightly hysterical entered her tone. “You’ve been sneaking out for the last... months. Where you out now too? S-s-slaying vampires?”

Buffy cast a glance at her Watcher. “No,” she said “I haven’t... slayed... anything since... since I got back.”

There was a moment of complete silence as Joyce just stared at Buffy, before she buried her face in her hands and drew in a deep breath.

“I need to sleep on this,” she said, “This is a lot to take in, you have to realize that.”

“I do, Mrs Summers.” Giles quickly stood. “Feel free to call me any time you want to.”

“Thank you. Buffy, please show Mr Giles to the door.”

Giles picked up his book and followed Buffy into the hall. He gave her a small, reassuring smile as he put on his jacket. Buffy still found herself biting her bottom lip. She stepped closer to him and lowered her voice.

“How did she take it?”

“As well as can be expected,” he said, in the same tone. “At first she didn’t want to believe me, actually I thought she was going to start screaming at me for a while. After I explained and showed her this however...” He patted the leather-bound bound volume emblazoned ‘VAMPYR’ he carried. “I believe she is beginning to accept it.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

For the first time in what felt like forever, a real smile spread over Buffy’s face.


***


The woman was young, couldn’t be older than seventeen. She was dressed in a red miniskirt with leather boots and smelled of wine and sweat. When Spike approached she looked up at him under heavy eyelids, giggling a little as he pushed her up against the wall. Looked like he was going to be lucky after all; the quarter where his ‘home’ lay wasn’t the best to hunt, simply because no people were out. Seemed like this little morsel had lost herself in the dark.

“Hello,” she said, head rolling back.

“Hello, love.”

His hands crept up her side, stroking the soft underside of her breast through the silky shirt she was wearing. For a moment she looked blankly at him, then she clumsily tried to brush his hand off her.

“No-no-no-no…” Her voice became a drunken chant.

Spike let his hand slide down again and wrapped it roughly around her waist. His other hand pushed her head to the side to bare her neck. The blood in her veins was singing for him and the sound of her voice died out, her struggles were barely registered.

Ten minutes later he was back in the same dump as last night, but he was too tired to really care. Lack of sleep last night and the first real meal – a drunk meal on top of that – in a couple of days made him warm and drowsy. Throwing the duster over a chair he lay down on the couch. Sleep claimed him in no time.

The female was there again. Watching together with him. They stood side by side, close but not touching. In front of them was his younger self sprawled on the ground, Angelus hovering over him.

Angelus chuckled darkly and leant forward, his lips moving even though no words were heard. Then it was not Spike on the floor but the Slayer – a scene Spike had seen a thousand times before, with thousand different girls. Tilting his head to the side, he studied the Slayer. She seemed to be frozen. Her face wet with tears, and her breath coming in small hitched pants.

“You see,” the female beside him said, “Do you not think she wants revenge?”

Spike nodded.

“Do you think she is broken, William?” the woman whispered, mouth close to his ear. “How is she going to kill Angelus if you’re just following her around on patrol, Slayer of Slayers?”

“I’m not a sodding white hat,” Spike growled and the female chuckled.

“The Big bad,” she said, “laying back to wait for her, afraid to lose his face.”

Spike felt a sudden urge to hit her, and by the way her eyes glittered, she knew what he was thinking. He took a step back. She followed, reaching up to grip his chin with one hand, and still he couldn’t see her face.

“What is it you want, William?”

“You know what I want.”

“Then make sure you get it.”


***


When Joyce met her gaze across the counter the next morning Buffy felt very young. Her mother was wearing that expression on her face and made her feel like when she was six and had taken ice cream without asking. This time she didn’t know what she had done to deserve it. Yes, her mother might finally begin to believe what Buffy had told her about vampires. But shouldn’t that make her... more respectful maybe? After all, Buffy had been chosen to protect the world after all.

“Buffy,” Joyce said, “I really don’t know how to... I’m sorry.”

Buffy looked up, eyes widening. “So you believe it then?”

“Mr Giles, your... Watcher,” Joyce seemed to taste the unfamiliar term. “was very convincing, showing me pictures and pointing out things that... I’d just chosen not to see.”

Buffy felt her eyes burning and had to blink. Luckily Joyce wasn’t looking at her but intently watching the eggs she was frying.

“To find out that...” Joyce halted and took a deep breath. “Or more that it was a vampire that... I don’t know, all my thoughts are spinning now.” She gave an uneasy laugh.

Slowly Buffy stood up, walked over to her mom and put a small hand on her shoulder. The older woman seemed to relax under her touch.

“Have you thought about what I said? About finding another counsellor? Perhaps you could tell her that you’re the Slayer, I’m sure...”

Buffy’s hand abruptly dropped and she took a step backwards. She’d believed they were done with this. No way she was going through another session of ‘confessions Buffy’ with a stranger again.

“I better get going,” she said, “I don’t wanna be late for school.”

She didn’t wait for a response before she hurried out of the house.


***


Xander was buzzing with enthusiasm. In fact, he was so fired that he spoke with Buffy without any stammering or eyes-flickering at all.

“I wonder what she sees in me?” he said dreamily. “It’s probably the quiet good looks coupled with a certain smoky magnetism.”

Buffy frowned at him, watching over his shoulder as Willow stepped out from the classroom and hesitantly began to walk over to them. Xander still seemed miles away and Buffy ran a hand through her hair.

“Look Xander,” she said “I’m very happy for your sake, but I really need to go.”

“Hi guys!” Willow said, smiling.

“Oh, Willow.” Xander said. “Did you see what happened in there? An older woman is lusting after me!”

The two girls simultaneously rolled their eyes.

Buffy cast a glance at the redhead before throwing her bag over her shoulder. “I need to go,” she said. “But good luck with your older woman, Xander!”

The latter was said with as much false enthusiasm she could muster. He smiled at her and then drifted off to the dream land again.


***


“That is my teacher!” Buffy exclaimed, gwaking at the woman who was now calmly strolling down the street again.

“Huh?” Spike said.

“She just looked at that vampire and he ran away!”

“Who?”

Wow, her vampire really wasn’t on the ball today. Wasn’t it her role to be somewhere else? Buffy grabbed his forearm and pulled him closer to the edge of the park, pointing at the woman.

“She. My teacher.”

Finally he seemed to focus and fixed his eyes on the woman, nostrils flaring for a second before he relaxed and shrugged, “No idea. Can’t scent her from here.”

He began to walk away, seemingly expecting her to follow him. Buffy could only stare. He was acting like he didn’t care! Like he didn’t give a damn if her teacher was a cold blooded killer! Buffy stilled and closed her eyes. Of course he acts like he doesn’t care, he’s a vampire. Her shoulders slumped as she slowly trailed after him.

They walked in silence till they reached their first cemetery for the night where Spike suddenly swung around. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Buffy frowned at him. What was he up to now?

“Let’s spar.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, let’s spar.” He fell into a fighting stance with both fists raised.

“No way!”

“Come on, Slayer,” he said “Afraid you can’t take me?”

She pursed her mouth, irritated with both him and herself. She should’ve just walked away when he’d acted like a... vampire back there. And now he wanted to fight her?! You’re afraid you can’t take him. Buffy scowled at the voice in her head and saw that Spike was watching her with an amused grin.

“How about it then?”

“You... you...! Idiot!”

Before she could stop herself she’d aimed a hit at him. A hit that he ducked as if she was moving in slow motion. When he dodged the next just as easily he actually laughed. Laughed! Buffy found the blood boiling in her veins but forced herself to take a deep breath. Her gaze fixed on him as she forced herself to calm and focus.

He was an experienced fighter, no doubt about that. When he struck her for the first time and she barely had time to parry she found herself swallowing. Definitely no doubt.

It seemed like he could smell her sudden fear; his nostrils flared and his eyes flashed yellow. Buffy tried to force her mind to empty and let her body move on its inherent instincts. That had been so easy before, before him. She had fought hundreds of vampires and demons in the last year, this was just another one.

Spike was circling her now, predator in his every step. She stood still, waiting. She wasn’t completely sure what for; him to strike or herself to build up the courage to do something. He wasn’t the patient type though, that soon became clear. His fist smashed into her chin after barely one lap and he followed it up with a kick in her the stomach. Hissing in pain she stumbled backwards. How could she let him get to her so easily?! She should’ve at least tried to duck the first blow, then he wouldn’t have been able to strike her a second time. Angrily she straightened herself and made a nice imitation of a growl at him.

“Oh, pet,” he snickered. “Not used to fighting real Big bads, are you?”

No, she was not and that fact became clearer and clearer by every passing second. However, the mocking had a strange effect on her. She would’ve expected the words to make her back down, instead a feeling of wanting to prove herself came over her.

Her fist smashed into his face and he grinned appreciatively, even as he whipped blood off his lip. An almost smile spread over her own face and she attacked again. This time he met her though and dodged. Next his foot hit her knee and she had to bite back a cry. Was he actually trying to hurt her? Maybe it had been what he wanted all along; a decent fight before he killed her. Buffy shook her head. Now she sure as hell wasn’t thinking clearly. If he just wanted to take her down in a fight, why would he follow her on patrol?

“Getting tired, Slayer?” Spike said, smirking.

The words were out of her mouth before she, finally, had time to think; “Not even close.”

One second she was ready for him, watching him advance at her. Next he was close, so close. How did he do that? Could it have been that famous vampire speed? But then, wasn’t she supposed to be just as fast? The title ‘Vampire Slayer’ weren’t just empty words, were they? She tried to fight him off, to get in a hit, a kick; anything. But before she’d even raised her hand he’d spun her around. An arm wrapped itself around her waist and he bit down on her neck with blunt teeth.

“Seems like you lost.”


***


Spike could hear her heartbeat thundering in her chest and wondered what she was thinking. He sighed.

“Come on, pet, I’ll walk you home,” he said.

“Why do you always do that?” she asked, even as she fell into step with him.

“What?”

“Walk me home.”

Spike shrugged. “I suppose you don’t wanna walk home by yourself.” He gave her a small grin. “With Angelus lurking in the shadows and all.”

When he said the name she startled and threw a glance over her shoulder. His grin widened for a second before dropping completely. What was he smiling at really? The girl was young and fragile; he needed to get her better, not scare her away. Another sigh and he buried his hands in the pockets of his duster. They walked in silence until they reached her house.

Several lights were on and a shadow was standing close to a window in the kitchen. Spike halted and grabbed the girl’s elbow. First she looked surprised, and he jerked his head at the shadow. The moving shadow. Her heart began to pound anew. Too late Spike realized that the mother had already seen them.

Suddenly the front door burst open and the woman stepped out. She had lines of worry on her forehead and her lips were pressed tightly against each other. Before Joyce had time to say anything Buffy sighed and began to walk towards her.

“You too, young man!”

Spike seriously considered running away. The Slayer’s mum looked furious even as she tried to blink back tears. Innocent vampire, here! Still, he couldn’t help but feel for her as he hesitantly followed the Slayer. She must’ve thought that her daughter had gone missing again. It didn’t stop him from halting as far away from the woman as he could without being impolite.

At first it almost seemed like the older woman had forgot about him, she was so focused on her daughter.

“I’ve been worried to death!” she said, “What were you thinking, Buffy?!”

“I’ve been sneaking out for the last six months, Mom.” Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “It didn’t bother you before.”

“Because I had no idea! And that was also before you got kidnapped and tortured by a... a...” She couldn’t bring the word over her lips. “And what about this…”

She turned her attention to Spike again. And went pale.


TBC

Chapter 5


“You!” Joyce managed at last.

Spike fidgeted nervously, looking down at his feet and up at the woman.

“Hello Joyce.”

That was when he felt it.

Quickly, Spike scanned the garden and smelled the air, searching for the feeling’s source. The Slayer was only a second after him. The difference was that she became paralyzed. Her whole body went rigid and her gaze fixed straight ahead. Spike knew she would begin to tremble at any moment.

“Let’s take this inside,” he snapped, taking a step forward to push the humans inside the house. He never had time to do more than raise a hand, when the voice sounded through the air;

“Willie boy! Don’t say you’re not happy to see me?”

Buffy didn’t even turn towards the voice. Joyce did however, and Spike too. Without a second thought he took a step forward.

“Get your mother inside, Slayer,” he said. “Now!”

“Who is this man?” Joyce asked. “Buffy, is this another-“

Breathing an inward sigh of relief as the Slayer finally took hold of Joyce’s arm, Spike smirked at Angelus.

“Finally waking up, are we?” Spike said, glancing over his shoulder just in time to see the girl dragging her mum over the threshold.

“What the hell are you playing at, Spike?” Angelus said. “You... you’re not with the Slayer, are ye?”

Spike snorted. “What do you think of me, Peaches?”

He could practically see the wheels turning in the older vampire’s mind and smirked anew. Angelus glanced towards the house again and when an evil grin spread over his lips Spike looked too.

Even from here, he could see the tremors that rushed through the Slayer’s body. At least the women were out of harm’s way inside the house. Perhaps he could make a run for it again; mightn’t be too hard. Hopefully it was the girl Angelus wanted to torment at the moment, and then he wouldn’t put too much effort into chasing him.

“You’re just playing her, right?” The words bore their usual cocky, self-assured tone, but there was a faltering buried in Angelus’ voice. A faltering that to someone who had known the vampire for years was clearly noticeable. The blond vampire’s smirk grew wider but, just as he opened his mouth to answer, the other’s nostrils flared.

“Wha...” he said. “You reek of her! Are you fucking her?!”

The sparring. Spike had had the girl pressed up against him; her scent was all over him. He took a step backwards. That was a mistake and he should’ve seen it before he did it. Angelus was like a bloodhound when it came to fear.

“You... Have you teamed up with her?” Angelus feigned a chuckle. “That’s just sad – even for you.

Spike put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “What? I wanted to try something new.”

“You...” Angelus growled loudly. “Don’t play with me, boy.”


***


The two vampires outside the house were facing each other. After his last speech Spike’s shoulders had stiffened, now he slipped into game face and beside her, Mom gasped loudly. At once Buffy came to a decision.

“Spike!” she shouted. “Come in!”

The surprise she saw on the Spike’s face was matched by his and they both leapt forward. Spike tumbled through the doorway and he banged into an invisible barrier. Buffy slammed the door shut and slumped against it, panting as if she had just run a marathon. Outside she heard him roar and flinched. Spike had already straightened himself and was on his way into the living room.

There was one frustrated bang at the door, then;

“Spike, you little fool,” he chuckled, but the sound wasn’t that of someone amused, more like insane. “Be seeing you, Buff!”

The sound of departing footsteps followed and soon Buffy could hear the laughter no longer.

A minute later Spike returned to the hall.

“The bastard is gone,” he said. “Can’t know when he’ll be back though.”

“But he can’t come in, right?” Buffy looked up at him. “Vampires cannot enter a house uninvited.”

“No.”

“What if –“

“Buffy!”

They both startled and turned towards Joyce.

“What the hell is going on here?! Who are these... people?”

Spike and Buffy looked at each other, at Joyce, and back at each other again. Then Buffy sighed and gestured towards the living room. Without a word she went and sat down on the sofa. The vampire followed her and parked himself in an armchair with the right of someone who had visited them every single day for the last ten years.

Taking a deep breath Buffy put a lock on her thoughts. She was the Slayer. She couldn’t run and hide because a vampire had come to her house. It was him! That didn’t matter. Her mother had taken a step towards acceptance of Buffy’s calling. She couldn’t ruin that. Couldn’t face another woman in a white coat, giving her the third degree about how crazy she was. She gave Joyce a weak smile. It wasn’t returned, in fact her mother didn’t even notice it. Her attention was on Spike who, in his turn, was checking his black nail polish.

“Okay.” Buffy said. “Mom, Spike. Spike, Mom.”

Finally Joyce turned to her.

“I don’t want to know his name, I want to know what he is!” she demanded. “Is he another one of these ‘vampires’ too, like that man outside?”

What should she tell her? Buffy stood up, only to sit down again. Glancing at her mother she drew in a deep breath.

“Mom... do we have to do this now?”

“Buffy! Of course...” Joyce pursed her mouth. “Yes, we do! Just... answer me.” She turned to Spike. “Who are you?”

The vampire opened his mouth but Joyce didn’t give him a chance to say anything.

“Last time you showed up here... Did you have something to do with my daughter’s kidnapping?”

“Mom!”.

“What do you expect me to think, Buffy? This man shows up here just as... Is this some kind of Stockholm syndrome?”

Slowly Buffy closed her eyes. This wasn’t happening. Putting her arms around herself she sank deeper into the cushions.

“Do you think I am... insane?” she asked in a small voice.

There was a brief pause. Hastily Buffy scrambled to her feet and backed away. Something warm was prickling her eyes. This isn’t happening. Her mother’s voice was growing fainter, she couldn’t make out the words; didn’t want to. She hugged herself harder, fixing her eyes on the wall.

Then someone was shaking her. Strong hands grasping her forearms. Pale. Vampire.

“Snap out of it, Slayer!”

Pretty blue. Desperate blue.


***


Spike could tell the exact moment she disappeared into herself. Her eyes became empty and her whole body went rigid.

He shook her again. “Slayer! Buffy!”

No response. The girl had been talking to her mother and the woman had been worried naturally. Was there something he’d missed in the conversation? He hadn’t been paying all too much attention to it after all.

“What did you do to her?” Still gripping the Slayer he turned to Joyce.

The woman was staring at her daughter with wide eyes, looking just as lost. When she heard the words though she rose from the coach and hurriedly stepped closer. Spike backed away, pulling the Slayer with him. The girl blinked.

“Buffy?” He and the mother said at the same time.

She blinked again and he turned her slightly so she was looking at him.

“Listen, pet.... Buffy,” he said. “You can’t stay in there.... it isn’t... Bloody hell... Just come back – things to do!”

Shaking her again he saw Joyce step forward for the second time. He paused, recalling when he had brought the Slayer back home. It was the mother who had finally made her come back to herself, perhaps...

“Buffy, sweetheart?” Joyce asked, something hysterical in her voice as she reached out to touch her daughter’s shoulder. “Do you think this is some kind of breakdown? Maybe all the...”

“She’s not bloody crazy!”

“I didn’t mean that.” Tears had started to run down Joyce’s face.


***


Her mother’s voice, “Do you think this is some kind of breakdown? Maybe all the...”

A brown haired woman was looking at her, pencil poised on the paper; ready to start moving at any time. Her cold blue eyes fixed on Buffy, but no feeling showing in the gaze.

“So, Buffy, tell me more about this... world of yours. You said you were... a Slayer? Is that the right word?”

Buffy looked away, pulling her knees closer to her chest. She couldn’t count the times she’d got questions about ‘her world’. Perhaps she really was insane after all.

“She’s not bloody crazy!”

Snap out of it. Buffy forced herself to draw in a deep breath and closed her eyes.

She had not known that she could tremble like this. It felt like she was out of breath, her legs could barely hold her and he was so close. A hand in her hair forced her head backwards with so much gentleness that her knees finally buckled. If she hadn’t been so short of air she would’ve screamed.

Slowly the other hand’s middle finger trailed down her shirt’s open front. The hairs on the back of her neck rose.

No, no, no, no.

She wanted to beg him to stop but the words were struck in her throat. An arm snaked around her middle and dragged her closer, so close that she could feel every contour of his body.

One moment she was almost fully dressed, the next her shirt and bra were gone. Her skin was bare to him, free for touching. She desperately wanted to cross her arms over her breasts, but she was pressed so hard against him.

The middle finger lingered just above a nipple for a second, brown eyes staring at the exposed flesh. He looked so human.

“What do you think mommy will say about this?” His voice was soft and sensual, as if he was whispering love poems. It made her tremble harder. “I’ll make sure she knows all the details, right before I rip her heart out of course.”

Her heart clenched. He wouldn’t. No. He had her, that had to be enough. It had to. There was no need to hurt her more than he already could. She felt another tear spill over and slide a path down her cheek.

The hand that wasn’t holding her drew lower, unbuttoning her jeans. Then the sound of the zipper being opened echoed in her ears. At last she began to struggle in his grip. She was the Slayer. He was just another vampire. But if that was true, how come she couldn’t get lose? The only reaction her struggles got was a low moan and then he pulled her closer, a wide grin on his face.

“You’ve got a problem, Buff?” The way he said her name; it didn’t belong to her when he said it.

She was pushed to the ground and his body lay heavy over hers. No, no, no. God, what had she done to make him do this? Her struggles intensified and she almost managed to knock him off her, even though he had her arms in a death grip. Suddenly he didn’t seem as strong anymore and she desperately tried to wrench her arms away. There was a flash of surprise in his eyes and – for the briefest second – she was the Chosen One again. One girl with the power to kill his kind. Then his face transformed and fangs sliced into her skin.

The sounds he made; gulping, slurping of her. A couple of minutes more and she would be dead.

Only he stopped.

When her head was spinning and she was on the edge of blacking out, he pulled away. At first she couldn’t tell what he was doing, not until her jeans were gone and her legs forced apart. No, no, no. She wanted to hit him. She wanted to spit him in the face. She wanted to tell yell at him. She wanted the world to fade away.

“Please don’t”

He chuckled and nuzzled her neck almost tenderly, his tongue swiping over the wound.

“Don’t worry, Buff, I’ll make it good for you.”

Buffy’s eyes shot open. Then she really was fighting. Her captor received a solid hit in the face and stumbled backwards.

“Buffy...”

Her gaze flew to her mother’s, who was staring right back at her. White walls. Not going there again. And if she’d never been sent there…

“I would’ve been able to fight!” Buffy screamed. “I could have...”

Joyce moved towards her and from the corner of her eye she saw Spike stand up. Buffy backed away, almost falling over something. The vampire growled at Joyce, who had all her attention on Buffy and seemed to be searching for words. And Buffy span around and fled.


***


What could he do but run after her? Well, he could’ve gone to Willy’s and had himself a nice drink – or ten. He could’ve feasted on a pretty little girl. He could’ve got into a fight and kicked some demon ass. Or he could’ve stayed in that piss-hole, that for the time being was his home, and read. Yet, he was running after her.

Something had happened to the girl before Angelus got hold of her, probably before she even came to Sunnyhell. And it had something to do with the mother.

Spike found himself thanking whatever higher powers there were that the presence of Angelus was long gone. It was easy to follow the Slayer’s scent, even though she had a head start and Slayer speed wasn’t something to disregard. As Spike jogged along the streets of Sunnydale he soon noticed that the girl had a goal on this run. The house they reached smelled of tweed and dusty books – like the Watchers’ Council.

The girl was standing in front of the door, one hand raised and ready to knock. Only, she was deadly still. Careful to make sure she would notice he was there, Spike walked closer on heavy feet. When he was just a few feet away he cleared his throat, just to make sure. She didn’t react.

“Slayer?” He took another step. “Buffy?”

He placed a hand on her shoulder. In the blink of an eye, she had him pressed up against the door. The loud thump made him ignore the girl and listen for movements of her Watcher. During that moment the Slayer managed to pin his arms and was pressing him against the wood. She stared at him, face flushed and eyes wild. The vicelike grip of her hands, reminded him of just how strong Slayers actually were. She could snap his wrists easily.

“Sla-Buffy?” he said, forcing her voice into a gentle tone.

She just stared at him.

At last she backed off and Spike raised his hands to inspect the wrists. There were crescent marks in the skin and he was surprised that she hadn’t drawn blood. Looking up at the girl he saw that she seemed to have calmed down a bit. She dragged her fingers through her hair, shivering a little in the cold night air.

“My Watcher lives here,” she said.

Spike found himself grinning slightly. “Sort of figured that, pet,” he said, turning towards the door. “You gonna knock?”

He hadn’t seen it coming, perhaps he should’ve. After all, the girl was almost a ticking bomb. All the suffering just accumulating inside of her.

Suddenly her legs weren’t able to carry her anymore and she sank down on the ground. Burying her face in her hands as sobs wrecked her small body.

For a moment Spike just looked at her, shifting his weight from one foot to the other uneasily and a little annoyed. Slowly, he sat down beside her and placed a hand on her back. She didn’t pull away but rather leant into him. He sat still and silent as she cried, watching the bowed head inches from his. Oh, the irony of this…

It didn’t take long before she composed herself, even though he saw that she had to force herself to do it. Her eyes were red and tiny sniffles still escaped her.

“So,” he said at last. “What about going inside?”

“I can’t,” she whispered. “What am I gonna tell him? He’ll call Mom.”

So the mother was the problem. Spike didn’t know what to think and it shouldn’t be his problem anyway. Sighing he leant his head against the door.

“She did something, didn’t she?” he asked.

The pain in her eyes when she turned towards him made him wish he hadn’t asked. Standing up, he offered her his hand.

“Come with me.”

She hesitated a moment, then took it.


***


He crouched down in front of her, placing his hands on her knees. This is necessary, he told himself. Can’t just leave her all by her lonesome. She seemed so tired – too tired for a sixteen year old girl.

“You live here?” she asked, the tiniest hint of a smile on her lips.

“Yeah.” Spike scratched the back of his head. “Four star accommodation, isn’t it?”

He gained a giggle for that.

“You can stay here for the night, yeah?” he said. “But tomorrow... your mum’ll be worrying.”

For a moment he feared that she was going to cry again when her eyes became teary.

“Thank you.”

He didn’t say anything, just stood up and began searching through his pockets for a cigarette. God knows he needed one.


TBC

Chapter 6

It took an hour before either of them spoke again. Spike simply sat on the sofa, feeling his eyelids become heavier and heavier. She was staring into nothing, with one hand clutching the arm rest as if it was a lifeline. It was like everything had stilled around them, lost them in their own worlds.

Spike could see the girl‘s face flash before him; the expression she’d worn just before she retreated inside herself. He wondered how long it would take to bring her out of herself if she decided to let go again. In a way it almost reminded him of Drusilla. The vampiress had always lived in her own fantasy.

It hadn’t been his wisest move to bring the girl with him, he realized that. Her mother was probably worried sick by now, so it certainly wouldn’t put him in her good books. But it wasn’t like he cared about that anyway, even though she seemed like a nice enough lady, reminded him of... The Slayer was his priority; her mum had just become an extra complication.

When the Slayer at last let go of the rest, Spike woke from his half-slumber. As he shifted in his seat and sat up straighter, she turned towards him. Not much, just so she could glance at him out of the corner of her eye.

“What does she think of me?”

It was clearly a thought being spoken out loud. She didn’t look at him as she said it, nor did she make any other move to indicate that he was there. Spike decided that she needed an other answer than whatever her cloudy brain would give her. “She loves you,” he said.

Her mouth twitched and for a second he expected that hollow laugh again, but then she pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them.

“How can you be so sure?” she asked, “ She acted like... and what she did...”

“Mums love their kiddies. No matter what.”

“Then why did she do it?”

Slowly she looked up at him, her eyes meeting his. Her expression was so open, clearly wondering. In that moment the Slayer was gone and only the girl remained. Spike’s heart clenched in a way it hadn’t for a very long time, and he wasn’t even sure what exactly the woman had done. If she even had done anything that unspeakable. Perhaps it was simply some kind of a misunderstanding. The mum had to process the fact that her daughter was the Slayer, and all the things that came with the title.

He gave her the only answer he knew to be true; “She wants what she thinks is best for you.”

She was going to cry again; a faint scent of salt had risen in the air and she was blinking desperately. Quickly Spike sat up straighter, fumbling as he began rummaging through the pockets of his duster again. Finally he found the cigarette pack, flicked it open and... it was empty. Bloody hell. Sighing he dropped it to the floor and slumped back in the couch again.

A small laugh broke through the air. The girl’s eyes twinkled and she was covering her mouth with one hand. “You really don’t like to see girls cry, do you?” she said, another giggle slipping through her fingers.

“Can’t say I do, love.” He grinned at her.

Next second was the light mood gone and replaced with a heavier. Suddenly all delight disappeared from her face and her hand dropped, joining the other around her knees again. Spike watched her closely, listening to her steady heart that was just a beat faster than normal.

“You remember what I said?” she asked, “About the hospital?”

“Don’t remember you saying that much, pet,” he said “Just something about your mum sendin’ you there.”

”Mental institution, they thought I was insane.”

Spike couldn’t really say that he was surprised. The mother seemed to be a sensible woman, with a clear view of what the world should look like, same as most humans. Sunnydale was a perfect example. How many of the population hadn’t sung ‘la-la-la’ and looked the other way when they had seen a demon cross the street?

“I had a dozen of fresh bite marks on me when I came home,” the girl continued “But the police said they were from some kind of weapon… I don’t think mom even thought about another possibility.”

Of course she hadn’t, why would she? He’d bet that the doctors at that sodding hospital had given her every confirmation that her little girl had suffered from a temporary insanity. Most likely ‘An outcome of a teenager's lively imagination, deriving from an attention-deficit disorder.’ or something like that.

“What happened the other night, then?” he asked “Wasn’t the Watcher supposed to hold some sort of show and tell?”

“He did. Spoke the whole, amazing truth; Chosen one. Saves the world. Yadda, yadda, yadda.”

Spike regarded her expression, but couldn’t tell how the talk in question had gone. The silence dragged on and her mind seemed far away again. Then she noticed him watching her.

“Oh,” She offered him the hint of a smile, “She pretty much accepted it. I’ve no idea what he said, but now she’s right with the vamp-believing.”

“Yeah?” he said, frowning, “So what’s the trouble then?”

“Everyone just…” She sighed and hugged her knees even tighter to her chest, glancing over at him without really seeing him.

“Everyone just what?” The words came out softer than he’d intended, but he doubted that the Slayer really remembered who she was with anymore. When she answered her voice was small, barely audible;

“It seems like everyone would be a lot happier if I just... wasn’t here.”

***

The library was empty, except for the Slayer and her Watcher, as most days. Something uncommon though, was that Buffy sat with her gaze fixed on the table while Giles cleaned his glasses furiously.

She hadn’t planned on stopping by that day. She knew that her mom most likely had called Giles after she’d disappeared last night and the last thing she wanted was this confrontation. Still, she hadn’t believed it would be this bad. As if her day couldn’t get any worse.

They stopped laughing immediately. Buffy really hadn’t meant to meet them today. Actually she’d planned on doing a really good job of avoiding them, most likely for the rest of her high school life. They all said ‘hello’, and then – silence.

“H-how are you, Buffy?” Willow asked.

“Peachy,” Buffy said.

More silence.

“So, Xander,” Buffy turned towards him. “How’d it go with Miss French?”

“Well,” he said “It’s a bit demanding being her absolute favorite guy in the universe, but I’ll muddle through. Actually, she asked me to come over to her place tonight.”

“Oh.” Buffy’s mind flashed back to when she, and Spike, had seen the teacher the last time. “So she is totally hooked by your charm?”

“Eh... no. She just had some conference today, so we couldn’t do the project here.” Nervously, he grinned at her. “I gotta go, the love of my life is waiting to be snared and I have to prepare myself. It’s a guy thing.”

Before Buffy could open her mouth again he’d disappeared around the corner. The same corner Giles walked around the next beat.

It would have been easier if he’d yelled at her. Now… the disappointment in his eyes made her want to run and hide. When they had met in the corridor, he’d just told her to come with him, not saying anything else during the walk to the library. After they had entered, he’d calmly asked her to sit down, before taking a seat across from her. Then he’d told her about the phone call he’d received from her mother last night.

“Buffy, I had to persuade her not to call the police,” Giles said, “She was terrified that you would get kidnapped again.”

What about me?! Have you thought about why I ran away?! She wanted to scream at him, but her mouth stayed closed. Because she knew he was right. Her mother must have been frantic. No matter what the reason, she had no right to do what she had.

“She also spoke about you… acting strangely,” Giles said “Buffy, what exactly happened last night?”

The table was made out of wood. For once there was only one book lying on it. The title was... she couldn’t actually see it, the book was turned upside down. She’d bet though that it wasn’t “The best ways how to explain yourself to your Watcher”. She forced herself to look at Giles and drew in a deep breath.

“I… I lost it, OK?” Buffy ran both hands through her hair and the man’s expression softened. “She just... reminded me of some things and I... I couldn’t stay there, Giles!”

“Oh.” A small frown formed on his forehead. “Did you remember something or...?”

The question hung in the air and Buffy didn’t feel like bringing it down. Shifting in her seat before looking away, she said; “I don’t feel like talking about it.”

She could almost see the thoughts running through Giles’ head. He’d force her to go home right away. She was sure of it. Already, she could see her mother’s face in front of her; the worry, the sadness, the anger.

Perhaps she should’ve skipped school today. But then, Spike probably wouldn’t have liked it if she’d spent the day at his... place.

Sometime during the night he’d fallen asleep and soon after she had too. When she woke up a few hours later the vampire was still sleeping and didn’t react at all as she left. To school. Why in hell had she come to school? Because you didn’t want to go home. So, what? She could’ve just taken a really long walk or done some shopping. You don’t want to be alone out there, not even in daylight.

“Buffy,” Giles said, “You’d better call her now.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Buffy stood up, slowly walking over to the phone. Just as she put her hand on it she turned towards the man again, remembering something that could post phone the call for another thirty seconds. “Giles, last night I saw my teacher, that one Xander is -“

“Buffy. Now.”

***

The Slayer was gone when he woke up. It was just as well. He’d slept through those few hours that were left of the night, and then fallen into a deeper slumber as the sun rose. Honestly, he’d have been surprised if she had actually stayed. He’d bet that she was scolding herself for falling asleep in the same room as a vampire. But then, after all, he had been in the same room as the Slayer. Perhaps he should be scolding himself.

He’d just woken up and all his thoughts were immediately set on the Slayer. Spike sighed and sat up in the sofa. It was what was expected, he supposed. After all, killing Angelus and Dru had been his goal for such a long time. Now, when the revenge seemed to be just out of his grasp... The girl was supposed to be the key. Of course all his thoughts were focused on her.

And he was going to her again.

It was patrol time. A couple of hours hanging around in the cemeteries, then he’d head to Willy’s. Standing up, he slipped the duster on and went for the door.

***

Giles called half past ten. Buffy had just said good night to her mom when the phone rang and Joyce told her who it was. A quarter to eleven she had slipped out through her bedroom window, a stake secured in her waistband, just in case, even though Giles had promised to bring a weapon.

She ran into Spike, practically. If he hadn’t grabbed her shoulders she would’ve fallen over.
Had she been supposed to patrol with him tonight? He was in her yard – not really a big surprise – so obviously he’d thought so. If she was honest with herself, she’d thought that they would too, well; change of plans.

“Whoa, Slayer, where’s the fire?”

She realized that she was panting slightly and her heart hammered in her chest. She didn’t stop, just began jogging down the street. Behind her she could practically feel Spike’s gaze burning into her back, and then he called her name. She didn’t answer. The next second he had caught up with her.

“Xander is most likely being eaten by a bug lady right now,” she said in a hurry.

“Who is getting eaten by what?” he asked.

“You know my teacher? Who we saw yesterday?” She waited for his confirming nod. “She is actually a giant bug who’s looking for a virgin-mate.”

“Right, and now you’re running off to...?”

At the reminder of where she was heading she hurried her pace. “Giles is meeting up with me at her house.”

“Who?”

Had she never mentioned the name of her Watcher? She answered the question and he nodded.

Buffy had discussed the bug lady with Giles after the dreaded phone call. After explaining what she had been doing out in the night with; ‘I was just, you know, suddenly dying for some fresh air, just because of the... freshness’, she’d managed to sidetrack him with the creepy teacher tale and he’d let her pathetic attempt for a reason slide and said he would research it, with a deep frown on his face. And now on the phone, he’d been a symphony of ‘Oh lords’.

They had been running for a couple of minutes when she glanced over at Spike again, to find him looking at her.

“What about you?” she said

“What about me?” He raised an eyebrow.

“How am I gonna explain you to Giles?”

Spike smirked. “Who said I’m tagging along?”

“You’re following me.” Buffy rolled her eyes, slowing down a bit as they neared the teacher’s house.

“I follow Slayers all the time.”

“You... Whatever.”

But she couldn’t deny the feeling of safety that came over her when he was close. And this was the first, official slaying since... him. After all, Spike had been the one who had dragged her out on patrol again, it wasn’t weird that she felt better when he was there... right? But what would Giles say?

“Maybe you should leave,” she said, as they halted outside the house. “Giles will show up any second now.”

On cue she saw her Watcher’s car come speeding down the street. But as Spike made a move to melt into the shadows, she suddenly found herself stopping him. Her hand still rested on his arm as Giles jumped out of his car and strode up to them.

***

He couldn’t construe the Slayer’s expression. Nor could he say what had made her want him to stay. The Watcher’s, on the other hand, was easy to read; surprise. The man didn’t see that Spike was a vampire though or recognize him from some bloody picture, that was clear. But most likely it was because of the stress that also was all too evident in his face.

“Buffy?”

“He can fight, Giles,” the Slayer said.

For a moment the Watcher eyed him, then he nodded. Spike supposed the questions would come later.

A high-pitched wail sounded through the air. Instantly the Slayer was moving towards the door, her Watcher hot on her heels. Spike rolled his eyes and followed. Time to save the day. As he entered the house, he understood what had made the vampire, he and the Slayer had seen that night they had sparred, flee. This close to the demon there was something in him that screamed ‘run’.

The way down to the basement was easy to find. The Slayer went first. She halted for a brief second in the doorway and glanced back at him. Spike just winked at her as the Watcher urged her on.

After that single glance, the Slayer crept down the first couple of steps. Spike could only see her looking at something from his position in the doorframe.

“Play the tape, Giles,” she said.

Then she stormed down the stairs.

TBC

Chapter 7

She probably should have spoken to Giles about how to kill giant insects, before actually doing it. The scream from the house had put the Slayer in her on auto pilot though, and she was grateful for it. There was one moment of fear as they walked down the stairs. But all she had to do was glance backwards, and a wink made her remember that she wasn’t alone.

Then she saw the six-foot tall praying mantis leaning over Xander and rushed to the rescue. It was a stupid move, really. And she realized it the same second she kicked the bug away from her friend. She didn’t have any weapon on her except the stake. Giles had apparently noticed that too, because when she threw a quick glance over her shoulder he was rummaging through his bag. The tape with bat sonar, that would make the bug go crazy, was not on.

“Giles!” she shouted, just as she ducked to avoid a serrated claw. “The tape!”

“Give me a bloody second!” The Watcher yelled back.

She heard Spike curse, then demand that the man gave the bag to him. Xander was somewhere to the right, talking to the other inmate.

“Bloody hell!” The vampire again. “Gimme that!”

Giles objected while Buffy dodged a blow that could have taken her left arm. She needed a weapon. Now. The bug was aiming at her again and she barely managed to block.

“Soddin’... insect control. You expect insect control to work on a giant cricket?!”

Buffy almost giggled, the vampire sounded so irritated and Giles immediately began to bluster his defence. The moment of distraction was all the bug needed to make her bleed. Suddenly there was a long cut down her arm, sliced right through her shirt.

Then the tape was on and a voice sounded through the air; “Slayer, catch!”

A machete. Buffy looked up at the ex-teacher and grinned.

***

The Slayer chopped the bug lady into pieces, practically, but she was bleeding; the aroma of Slayer blood reached Spike’s nose and he inhaled deeply. It couldn’t be anything serious though, because the scent wasn’t strong.

Now she was walking towards the two boys who had been captured.

“You okay?” she asked.

“Yeah,” The darker-haired of the two said “Great timing you had there, Buff.”

The girl didn’t say anything, but turned around to look at Spike and the Watcher. She seemed hesitant and at first he couldn’t figure out why. She’d killed the demon; done her work and saved the innocent human population.

“You did.... very well, Buffy,” the Watcher said.

All hesitation disappeared and she even smiled a little. So she’d only been looking for the old Watcher’s approval then. The man in question seemed to notice that too.

“Actually, you did better than I had expected,” he said “Have you been training without me?”

She glanced at Spike for a brief moment, then shrugged. “Nah, you know, just some running and rope jumping.”

“Very well. I’m happy all of us came out of this... relatively unscathed.”

For a second, Spike swore he could see something glittering in the Slayer’s eyes, then she began walking towards the stairs in apparent nonchalance. In passing, she threw a look over her shoulder.

“Yeah,” she said. “But it’s gross how she only wanted virgins.”

The boys’ expressions were hilarious. One was opening and closing his mouth and the other pressing his lips tightly together. The girl had a hand over her own mouth, but Spike could still hear the tiny giggles that she tried to stifle.

“I-if anyone says anything... my d-dad, he’ll sue you!” stuttered the one who had been opening and closing his mouth.

The girl rolled her eyes and the other boy got an even more closed off expression on his face. Then he took the machete from her, before walking over to the clusters of eggs that were hanging from the ceiling.

When they began to leave the house a couple of minutes later, the Watcher went up beside Spike. He eyed him before clearing his throat. Loudly. It made Spike sigh inwardly. This ‘Giles’ seemed like such a typical... Watcher. All upper-class English with his high thoughts about fighting evil in the world.

“So, who are you?” the Watcher asked.

Spike snorted. “Nice to meet you, too.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he grinned a little. “It’s Giles, Rupert Giles.”

Spike felt a smirk tickle the corner of his mouth. Rupert was looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Name’s Spike, mate.”

“I see.” There was a frown on the man’s face as he let his gaze travel over Spike’s form, as if he was pondering over something.

The girl caught up with them that second, just as they were about to leave the house. She appeared nervous and immediately Spike understood why. The way she kept looking at Giles and, not so subtly, tried to inch her way in between them. It was completely clear. She was afraid that the Watcher would find out that Spike was a vampire. He himself wasn’t that worried though, if the man hadn’t noticed anything yet he probably wouldn’t see it at all. Unless someone began prancing around and splattering holy water.

They had made their way to the door when Spike noticed that the other two was still talking. In fact, Giles had put a comforting hand on the Slayer’s shoulder and she had stiffened.

“Really? Is he dead?” she asked.

“Yes. He was found in a freezer during lunch today,” Giles drew in a deep breath, “By miss Cordelia Chase.”

“Cordelia... oh god.”

Spike pushed his hands into his pockets. Maybe he should just walk away. The monster was killed after all, and the humans seemed to be doing their little bonding thing. They were all out on the front lawn now. One of the boys had already gone and the other was checking out the Slayer’s ass when he thought she wasn’t watching.

“How come I didn’t know?” the girl said.

“Actually, you were with me in the library at the time he was found, when...”

There was a demon coming towards them. An ugly looking one on top of it. Its skin was dark green and its fingers made Spike associate with giant needles. One of its two legs appeared to be shorter than the other and it was limping, with both arms hanging along its sides.

“Eh, Slayer...” Spike said.

“Huh?” She was still standing beside the Watcher, it was obvious that Spike was interrupting their conversation.

“Demon straight ahead.”

At that she spun around, then rolled her eyes muttering something about ‘already done her slaying for the day’, before she began rummaging through the bag Giles was carrying. Spike watched as the demon fixed its eyes upon her and then growled, its body tensing; preparing to attack.

“Slayer, look out!” He shouted, taking a step forward.

The demons head turned sharply at the sound. Spike met its cold, black eyes and saw them narrow.

Bugger.

Next second it leaped upon him. It was stronger than it looked, and threw Spike to the ground almost effortlessly. He barely managed to roll aside and avoid the fist that was coming for his head. Growling back at it, he let his eyes flash yellow.

Then the Slayer was there and with a kick in its gut she forced the demon backwards. She followed it without even glancing at him, practically growling three low voiced words;

“No vamping out.”

Right. Rupert. Spike jumped to his feet and threw a quick look over his shoulder. Neither the man nor the boy seemed interested to join the fight. Good, humans were just so damn breakable.

A small gasp had him focusing on the Slayer again. The demon was twisting her wrist; forcing her to drop the machete she was holding. At least he heard no bone snapping.

Spike lunged forward again. An upper cut made the demons head flew backwards. It stumbled and fell almost over, giving the Slayer enough time to compose herself. When she lifted her head she was panting slightly. The look in her eyes made Spike think he should step out on the sidelines too. The fire that burned in her gaze left no room for the girl in her; this moment she was pure Slayer.

Bending down, Spike picked up the weapon the Slayer had dropped. Absently playing with it, he watched her moving as if she had never done another thing. There was a grace over her that hadn’t been there before. Something that reminded him of freedom. All the demon could do was try to block, as she went for it again and again. When she moved like she did now, there was no doubt that she was born a predator.

The demon blocked her fist with one arm and raised its other hand. Next moment the girl received a solid slap in the face. A slap. The demon had actually swatted her with its pointy fingers and the smell of Slayer blood rose in the air for the second time.

“Only girls slap!” the Slayer said, the surprise evident in her voice.

A low laugh vibrated through Spike’s chest. She was absolutely right; decent demons simply didn’t slap their enemies. This fight should end pretty soon.

The Slayer elbowed the demon, and Spike tried the edge of the blade with his thumb. A drop of blood came forward and he brought the finger to his mouth. He thought about throwing the machete to her, but figured there was no need.

The second that thought entered his mind, the demon struck. It head-butted the girl, then a green foot kicked the edge of her knee. She fell to the ground. Rolling to the side she tried to rise, only to stumble and sink to her knees again.

No.

Spike rushed, the hand with the machete raised. He aimed for the heart, but the demon swung around and the blade cut into its shoulder instead. Howling in pain, it launched itself against him. They hit the ground in a tangle of limbs and Spike lost the machete. The demon landed on top, one of its hands gripping Spike’s throat. Its skin felt strange, as if there were crusted lumps over it’s whole body. Spike didn’t remember feeling anything like it before. The bumps were hard, as if they were made of stone. How in hell had the blade been able to slash through it?

The weapon was lying a half metre away from him. Spike tried to reach for it. The hand around his throat tightened and he got a slap over the cheek. There was no blood though and that seemed to anger the demon. A loud growl came over its lips and it aimed for him again.

The move left the cut open. Something green was streaming out of it; blood he supposed. The fluid stank in any case. Spike inwardly sighed. Sodding hell... Then he pushed four fingers into the wound, making sure his nails dug into the flesh before forcing them deeper. The shriek the demon the let forth made it ring in Spike’s ears.

Then the weight over his body was gone.

“Come on,” the Slayer said, “I really wanna go home.”

Spike smirked. The demon was clearly weakened, probably mostly by the blood loss from the wound, which was still bleeding heavily. It made him wonder if this kind of demon might have some problems with coagulation and the trick was to make them bleed to death.

Nodding to the girl, they began to circle it. She smirked and her eyes glittered.

They danced well together, he and this Slayer, even though this wasn’t as fun as when they had sparred. Without need for words, they began to circle it. A glint of fear was clear in the demon’s eyes as it looked back and forth between them and Spike’s smirk grew wider.

The problem was, that both he and the girl struck at the same time. And the demon managed to move faster than he’d believed possible. So instead of hitting the demon, they smashed into each other.

“Ew, Spike! You got slime in my face!” the girl wailed.

His ears were suffering. Spike groaned, rubbing his shoulder as he looked up at the Slayer. She did have that weird blood in her face. Wait. She didn’t. He frowned and took a step closer to her, his left hand going to her cheek. The hand that a second ago had been covered in slime.

“Something’s wrong,” the Slayer murmured. “Your hand... my head.. everything....”

She stumbled a little and Spike reached forward to steady her. A finger brushed her shoulder, but no more than that. All strength suddenly left his arm and it fell dead against his side. The world was becoming blurry.

“Watcher!” he called. “Something’s not...”

The girl passed out. Spike frowned, falling to his knees. Where was the demon? He lifted his eyes to search for it, but the world was spinning around him. Faster and faster. Strange. Oh, he knew where this was leading. This would go faster and faster until... blackness.

***

Everything was a flurry of colours. Buffy blinked in an attempt to make the world still, but it refused to so she closed her eyes again.

“What do you think happened?” someone asked, the voice was vaguely familiar.

“I have actually no idea,” another person said “I have never seen such a demon before, I have to question my books. Especially if Buffy and this... Spike... don’t wake up soon.”

“Yeah. Did... did you see that guy fight? He must be working out like hell.”

“Indeed. Something about him is familiar... maybe I...”

She didn’t hear the end of the sentence. The darkness was trying to swallow her again and she willingly let it.

***

Spike woke up by something dragging him by the arms.

“Man, this is one heavy dude!”

The voice was scarily close to his ear.

“Bloody hell, Xander! Just get him inside.”

His body bumped into something. Then again. This really wasn’t good for his headache. Groaning, Spike at last opened his eyes. Just as the two men tried to get him inside the house again. His forehead hit the barrier again. The very solid barrier.

“Aow!” he said, trying to shake the humans off him. “Get off me!”

There was no need though. Next moment the hands on him were gone and he almost collapsed. Stumbling, he barely managed to keep his balance. Looking up as he finally could stand straight, he saw the two humans staring at him. The boy stood with his mouth gaping open, while the man had found a cross in his pocket and was holding it up. Spike nearly laughed at the picture they made.

“Get out of here,” Giles said. “I don’t know what you have done to get my Slayer to trust you, but you will have no more contact with her, William the Bloody.”

He said the name with such abhorrence that Spike nearly flinched. Then he met the man’s eyes.

“What do you think the Slayer will say about that?” He smirked. “After all, I was the one who got her away from Angelus. Who got her back in the field.”

“What do you mean?”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Just that your innocent little Slayer, made a promise to me.”

So that wasn’t entirely true. The girl had, after all, not exactly sworn to help him. The words had the desired effect though; the Watcher’s eyes widened comically – for about half a second. Then they were filled with hatred and something very close to... laughter.

“I think we’ll see how long that stands, when she hears about the Slayers you’ve killed.”

TBC

Chapter 8

“Huh? What did you say?”

Buffy shut her eyes tighter. She was still lightheaded, it felt like something was… pushing at her mind. Weird. Maybe that demon had hit her in the head.

“I said, he has fought two Slayers this century, and killed both,” Giles. That was definitely Giles’ voice. “What I can’t understand is why he was with Buffy, he has never been known for mind games…”

Slowly, Buffy forced her eyes to open. The surroundings were vaguely familiar, and she was lying on a couch. Bit by bit the memories came back. The fight. The demon… running away. She sat up and saw Giles and Xander standing a little bit away from her, apparently caught up in a conversation.

“Is everyone okay?” she asked.

Both startled before turning towards her.

“Yes, we’re fine.” Giles said. “And you? How are you feeling?”

“Like my head’s gonna explode,” she groaned, pressing both hands against her temples.

Forcing herself to take a deep breath, she glanced around the room. Spike wasn’t there. Her first thought was that he’d already left, perhaps he hadn’t even come with them to Giles’ house. It seemed more likely; she doubted that the vampire would want to hang out with Giles and Xander. Not if she wasn’t deadly injured. And even then, he would probably be out searching for the new Slayer and ordering her to help him. Buffy smiled ironically to herself.

“The demon got away, right?” she asked a minute later.

“Yes,” Giles said. “But I have no idea what species it was, I have never seen any with those...”

“Creepy fingers?”

“I would say ‘talons.’”

Buffy just shrugged. Xander walked over to the sofa to sit down. For once he seemed to be completely at ease being in the same room as her; not running away or looking at anyone but her. She smiled a little, then frowned.

“Why did we faint?” she asked, meeting Giles’ gaze. “It happened like – wham! Spike got that weird slime in my face, then... blackness.”

“Slime, you say?” Giles said, the frown lines on his forehead deepening even more.

“It came out of a wound.”

“I will research it. I can’t imagine it being particularly dangerous, though,” Giles smiled a little. “You seem perfectly well now.”

Buffy smiled back. This had been a pretty good day after all. Her mother hadn’t freaked on her too much – Buffy suspected that Giles had something to do with that. She’d been grounded for the rest of the month though, but that was really not a big punishment after what she’d done. Still, she would need to patrol. Maybe Giles would want to go with her now when he saw that she was getting back in shape. Immediately, Spike’s face was in her mind’s eye. Would he still be able to come with? It didn’t seem like Giles had noticed the vampire factor, but he would without doubt if he saw another fight.

Maybe Spike could be good? Buffy shook her head. That was a ridiculous thought. All vampires were evil, after him... she should know. But... this vampire had helped her patrol, he’d even seemed to enjoy sparring with her. Perhaps if...

“Buffy,” Giles voice broke through her thoughts and she shook her head again.

“Yeah?”

Xander was watching her closely. While she was lost in thought Giles had gotten a book from the book cage and now he was leafing through it. When he found the right page, he slowly put it down in front of her.

Something was up, she could see tell by the expression on Giles’s face as she looked from him, to the open book. A picture filled one of the pages and she recognized the vampire immediately. His hair wasn’t bleached and he wasn’t wearing the leather coat, but it was definitely him.

Still, she couldn’t see the big deal. OK, he was known among Watchers. That showed that he wasn’t some stupid fledgling... that should be a good thing.... right?

“So?” Buffy said, a small tremor in her voice.

“This is William the Bloody,” Giles said, “also called Spike, a nickname he gained after torturing his victims with railroad spikes.”

Well, she already knew that. Spike had told her during their first patrol.

”He was sired by Drusilla in 1880, and spent around a century together with her and Angelus.” Giles looked Buffy straight in the eye. “He left the group after he killed his second Slayer and hasn’t been seen until now.”

“S-s-second S-Slayer?”

“He is also called ‘Slayer of Slayers’.”

Blindly, Buffy reached for the book and lifted it up. Sired 1880 by... Boxer Rebellion... Slayer... 1977... New York.... Nikki Wood... disappears without sign...

Swallowing hard, she lay the book down again. She wasn’t surprised. She wasn’t. Vampires were evil and selfish. Spike had probably just wanted to kill her all along. As soon as she’d helped him take him and Drusilla out, he probably planned to drain her.

A heavy hand was placed on her shoulder. “Buffy, you know what vampires are like,” Giles said “Even if Spike had been a fledgling you couldn’t trust him, vampires act solely for their own, selfish reasons. Now, when...”

She didn’t listen to the rest. She knew what his point was; no more seeing Spike. And she was cool with that, really. After all, he was just another vampire.

“... you knew he was a vampire?” Giles asked.

Buffy blinked, then forced a smile. “Yeah... vamp radar and all, I just thought...” She shrugged helplessly. “I won’t see him again.”

***

Spike threw the bottle against the wall. The sound of it shattering echoed in the bloody basement. In his bloody home. He picked up the glass too, but had crushed it in his hand before he'd time to cast it. Giggling like an idiot he let the pieces of glass fall to the floor. One had cut his palm and he laughed even harder, raising the hand so he could watch the blood dribble from the wound.

He wasn’t even half way to as drunk as he wanted to be. The laughter died on his lips. He shouldn’t have gone home so soon. He should definitely have drunk a lot more.

“Stupid, bloody Slayer...” he murmured under his breath, “Stupid, bloody Watcher... What the hell gives him the right, huh?”

Growling, he slumped down in the sofa and buried his face in his hands. Everything was Rupert’s fault. The revenge was almost in reach! If Spike hadn’t fainted. If the Slayer hadn’t fainted. If that fucking demon never had showed up. If the sodding Watcher hadn’t been so smart!

On top of all that he was getting a headache. A headache! Vampires didn’t get headache if they hadn’t drunk bottles of liquor.... and he had, all right, he had. But it shouldn’t be kicking in now! He hadn’t consumed enough yet, there’s now way the hangover should make itself known already!

Then he sighed deeply and closed his eyes. The Slayer’s face flashed before him. She’d never come near him again.

***

As Buffy lay in her bed that night, she was sure that her Watcher hadn’t meant to show his disappointment. But it had still been there. He’d had that same look in his eyes when she’d run off from her mother. He didn’t understand why she had teamed up with a vampire, of course he didn’t. She wasn’t even sure she understood herself.

A vampire wasn’t the ideal patrol partner. But he had showed up. He had dragged her out of her house, and out of her fear. He had sparred with her and watched her back. He’d been straight with her and hadn’t treated her with pity. But she had only known him for a few days, so none of that mattered. Giles would help her to really get on with the training now.

Slowly, she rolled over on her back, staring up in the ceiling. Her head hurt. Most likely because of all that had happened during the day, if she just fell asleep the pain would be gone by tomorrow. Screwing her eyes shut, she tried willing the sleep to come.

A second later her eyes shot open again. What if Giles expected her to kill Spike?

***

This was one weird dream.

Spike was absolutely sure that it was a dream. There was no other way that he could be standing in broad sunlight, in the middle of a cemetery, without shoes.

Blinking in the bright light, he looked over the place. He was still in Sunnydale, no doubt about that. He had spent enough hours hanging around these cemeteries when he, Angelus and Drusilla had spent a couple of years on and off in the city.

For the first time he noticed a fresh grave in front of him. It didn’t have any gravestone yet and it bothered him. Frowning, he sank down on his knees, reaching forward to touch the soil.

“Spike.”

He ignored the voice, instead focusing on the grave. He really didn’t like it. Or maybe he did. There was something appealing about it too.

“Spike!”

Irritated, he lifted his head. There was the familiar female, standing in the shadow of a crypt. She gestured for him to come. Well, he was nobody’s lap dog. He didn’t want to go. The grave was much more interesting than she. Still, his legs were moving and he found himself standing up and walking over to her.

“You know, I think I bloody well deserve to see your face now,” Spike said, “We’ve been meeting a lot.”

“Shut up,” she said.

Spike placed a hand over his heart. “Oh, pet, you wound.”

“I have something important to tell you,” she said, then her eyes suddenly went wide. “Don’t wake up!”

“What? Love, I’m not...”

“Listen, I –“

Spike woke just as he began to fall off the couch. He tried to grab hold of something, but thudded to the floor. Groaning he rolled over. Not a good way to start the day.

***

“Morning Buffy,” Joyce said as Buffy entered the kitchen.

“Morning.”

“How are you today?”

“Fine.” Buffy smiled at her mother, and if she noticed that it was a bit forced, she didn’t remark on it.

The conversation about her running off the other night, hadn’t been as terrible as she had feared. Her mom had been angry, but the anger had come out of fear. So there had been hugging and even a tear when she entered the house in the afternoon. Still, Buffy hadn’t managed to explain exactly what had happened and right now, it felt like she was just waiting for more questions.

Sitting down, she thanked her mother as a glass of orange juice was placed in front of her.

“Mr Giles seems like a very nice man,” Joyce said. “Did you say he was the librarian at your school?”

Buffy flinched. Quiz time already? It wasn’t even half past seven yet.

“Yeah.”

“What about this... Spike?” Joyce frowned. “What does he do?”

Pressing her lips together, Buffy managed to keep from giggling. She couldn’t really imagine Spike doing any kind of work, and definitely not sitting in a school desk. Then she stilled. He had killed two Slayers. Perhaps that could be considered work.

“Don’t worry, mom,” A strangled laugh came over her lips unbidden. “I won’t see him again.”

“Really?” The relief in her mother’s voice was obvious. “I’m happy you came to that realization yourself. I don’t think he’s good for you.”

Joyce walked around the counter and pressed a kiss against Buffy’s temple.

“You know I only want what’s best for you, Buffy.”

“She wants what she thinks is best for you.”

“I know.”

***

It was easy to track her. Her scent still lingered in the air and it couldn’t have been more than an hour since she had left the house.

Spike had gone there with the intention to explain. What, he wasn’t sure. By now, the girl must know everything about the two Slayers he’d killed.

He hadn’t thought she would go out on her own. What if Angelus decided that tonight was the right night for lurking in the shadows? He walked faster.

He caught up with her just in time to see her turn a fledgling into dust. Suddenly he felt anger well up inside him. Growling, he stalked forward and grabbed the Slayer by the forearm.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

TBC

Capter 9

Buffy didn’t know what had possessed her to do it. A day before she knew she would have been too afraid to do this on her own. His face still haunted her every time she was alone. And now she was walking alone in a cemetery, when the clock had struck past midnight almost an hour ago.

A restlessness had come over her during the evening. Maybe it was because she had been patrolling the last few nights, and her body had gotten used to burning up the extra energy. Or it could simply be an impulse after a really mellow day. She’d managed to make her talk with Giles very short and today she’d also succeeded with her plan to avoid Xander and Willow. In the classes she had had with one or both of them she’d sat on the other side of the classroom. The role as pupil made her feel totally out of place. Pretending to take notes. Pretending to listen to the teacher. Pretending to care about all of it.

Before there had been a reason to go to school. Hanging out with friends, playing with the thought of a real future. A future that didn’t involve demons or slaying. Now she hurried out of the classroom when the bell rang, and none of her ‘friends’ followed. She didn’t even think she wanted them to. If they had it would only lead to awkwardness, forced conversations and... there was no place for her among them.

Stalking through Restfield she was a hunter searching for a prey. This feeling was new, she couldn’t remember it being there even before him. She wanted to kill something. And this was her element. This was right, here where the only creatures she ever saw demons and they either attacked or fled.

The first lucky winner was a newly risen fledgling. She watched as the vampire struggled to break free from her grave and the moment she had both feet on the ground, Buffy stepped forward.

***

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Spike snapped.

The surprise on her face only lasted for a second, then she yanked her arm from his grip and turned around. Without saying a word, she began to walk away. Spike darted after and made a move to grab her again when she suddenly span around. The look of hurt in her eyes made him flinch.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” she cried, “Why didn’t you – you...!”

Her fist smashed into his nose. Before Spike could collect himself, her foot connected with his stomach and he crashed into a crypt wall. She was already advancing upon him again, the fury rolling off her.

“Of course I didn’t say anything!” Spike looked her straight in the eye, even as she aimed another punch. “You would never have come with me!”

He tried to get hold of her wrists as she struck again, but she was too fast and he received a second blow in the face. This was crazy. He hadn’t come here to fight her!

“Stop it!” he said, blocking a left hook.

“What’s the matter, Spike?” she said, “I thought you’d taken on Slayers before.”

A growl rumbled through his chest. “I don’t want to fight you!”

That made her halt for a brief second; enough time for Spike to grab her hands and lock them behind her back. Immediately she began to struggle in his grip. This was going nowhere.

***

What right did he think he had?! He couldn’t just step up to her and suddenly want her to... what, talk with him? He’d killed two Slayers. He was a murderer! It was just she who had been stupid not to realize it from the start. Why hadn’t he reminded her? He should have done... Everything was his fault.

The hands that held her were strong. Honestly, she couldn’t judge if he was stronger than her or not. It didn’t matter. He was a vampire. She was the Slayer. Nothing else was of importance. As she threw her head backwards she hit him again, and he howled in pain. Whirling around, she saw him press a hand against his bleeding nose.

***

“Was it all some sick game?!” the Slayer yelled. “Making me trust you and then turn against me?!”

“No! I really need –“

He was broken off as she practically threw herself on him. They tumbled backwards; she trying to get in another punch and he, attempting to keep his balance. Both failed. Spike’s back collided with something and for a second he closed his eyes, relieved. When he opened them again he saw the Slayer’s face an inch away from his. There was barely time for him to register the fury in her eyes, when whatever he was leaning against gave out.

A gasp came from the girl’s lips and she wrapped her arms around his neck. They crashed to the ground loudly, a small ‘ouch’ coming from the Slayer.

It seemed like the fall knocked all fight out of her. For a short time she just lay on top of him, panting softly in his ear. She was so warm. Even through two layers of clothes he could feel her body heat. But the warmth was abruptly taken away when she hastily scrambled off him.

They were in a crypt, most likely the same one she had slammed him into earlier. Spike watched as the Slayer leaned against a nearby stone wall. Slowly, she pulled a hand through her hair, before looking at him. He held her gaze for a moment, but then she looked away. Spike sighed. He stood up and walked the two steps so he could sink down beside her.

“What did the Watcher say?”

The Slayer flinched at the rough sound of his voice, but when she answered it was in a flat, emotionless tone; as if she was reciting her homework.

“Spike, also known as William the bloody, killed two Slayers,” she said, “He disappears without trace in seventy-seven and shows up twenty years later with a third Slayer. And I’m the lucky one.”

”Love –“

“Why do you call me that?!” She turned sharply towards him. “I’m not your love! Honestly, I think I prefer when you call me pet. At least that suits the way you see me.”

It was impossible to not hear the hurt she desperately tried to mask. Spike felt a sudden urge to pull her close and quickly shook his head, as if the motion could make the feeling go away. Scowling, he inched a little bit away from her. I’m not your love. She was completely and utterly right.

He found her looking at him, clearly waiting for him to say something, and he drew in a deep breath.

“I... I did kill two Slayers, yes,” he began, “But that was a long time ago, Slayer.”

“And that’s supposed to be some kind of excuse?!”

“No, but if you’d just –“

“How can you expect me to help you after that?!” she cried, “That you just can come up to me and –“

“If you’d shut up and listen for a moment, maybe you’d get it!”

They stared at each other for a moment, panting. Both refusing to be the first to break eye contact. A low growl vibrated through Spike’s chest. A warning she chose to ignore. The Slayer lifted her hand and he grasped her wrist. She pressed her lips tightly together and aimed at him with her other fist.

So this was her solution for everything. Use the fists when something didn’t work out? Spike thought the thought, then let it slide. He knew it wasn’t true. Even as he received a solid blow in the face, he could still see the underlying hurt in her eyes. Easily he clutched her forearms and when he stood he forced her to rise too.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked as he roughly pushed her against the wall.

She struggled a little and he gripped her tighter, pressing his chest against hers to be able to control her. For a moment fear flickered over her features, so brief that he nearly missed it. And suddenly it dawned upon him.

She fought because she could. Because she had to. Because she was scared of becoming a victim again. Spike drew back a little, searching her face for another sign of him being right. The Slayer swallowed hard and he could hear her heart hammering in her chest. She didn't think he would... Did she?

Before he could stop himself he'd let go of her arms and raised a middle finger to brush her cheek. Slowly, it travelled along her cheekbone to her chin. His gaze was transfixed on her skin. It was still slightly flushed from their “fight”. What was he doing? He jerked his hand away and abruptly pulled back. She had a small frown between her eyebrows, then she leaned back against the wall again.

“Okay,” she simply said, “Talk.”

Spike blinked. He actually had to think for a second before he remembered what she was referring to.

“Right,” he said, “Well, the Slayers I killed, I didn’t... It wasn’t supposed to... Bloody hell!”

Running a hand through his hair, he drew in a deep breath. He had to get her to trust him again. Without her he wouldn’t manage to dust his Sire and Dru anytime soon. Of course, he could wait for the new Slayer to get called. This one probably wouldn’t last too long anyway. Suddenly the female from his dreams flashed before him. And he found himself opening his mouth.

“Yes, I killed two Slayers,” he said, “Fighter to fighter. And I can’t say I’m ashamed of it. But... you remember what I said? That I wouldn’t harm you?”

After a beat of obvious hesitation, she nodded.

“If I’d wanted to kill you, I could’ve done it by now.” He could practically see the wheels spinning in her head, and almost breathed a sigh of relief; she was listening. “Look, Slayer, we’ve got the same goal. Neither of us is gonna be able to reach it on our own.”

When she didn’t respond, he simply asked; “Do you think you’ll manage to take Angelus down by yourself?”

Without looking at him she began to walk away, only to halt in the doorway. With one hand resting on the door frame she turned her head slightly.

“The day after tomorrow,” she said, “Meet me outside my house and we’ll patrol.”

***

Oh god, oh god, oh god.

What was she doing? The day after tomorrow. What would Giles think?

Buffy pushed her bedroom window open and slipped in quietly. It was quiet inside the house, mom must have gone to bed a long time ago. Checking the clock she saw it was past two.

She took off her clothes and threw the stake she into the closet. Grabbing her pyjamas she pulled it on. She was buttoning it up just as the sound of footsteps was heard.

“Buffy? Are you up?”

So mom wasn’t asleep after all. The door handle moved down and Joyce stepped inside, frowning as she saw her daughter standing in the middle of the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I...” Buffy hastily looked over the room, “It was hot! So I had to open the window.”

“Oh, I see,” Joyce gave her a small smile, “Well, you better go to bed now. I thought I heard something, but it was probably just a cat.”

His face flashed before Buffy and she felt her heart begin to beat faster. No, he can’t come in here. Vampires can’t come in uninvited. But what if...

“Mom... you know the man that was outside our house the other day?”

“Yes?” Joyce said, “He hasn’t hurt you, has he?”

“No, no. I just wondered... have you seen him after that?”

“No, not since that night,” Deep lines of worry had furrowed on Joyce’s forhead. “Buffy, are you sure he hasn’t hurt you? I know you’re chosen to kill these... creatures, but I... well, it’s very hard to accept.”

Buffy felt herself relax and answered the question she walked over to the bed and crawled under the covers. “I know,” She gave a small laugh, suddenly thinking back at when Merrick had walked up to her in the school yard with his big speech; ‘only you can kill them’. “Anyway, if you see him, don’t invite him in. He is... dangerous.”

“I promise.” Her mother pressed a kiss on the her cheek. “Goodnight.”

“Night, mom.”

As Joyce left the room Buffy closed her eyes.

The day after tomorrow. What would Giles say? Perhaps she should try to explain, and say... what, exactly? He had been so clear about pointing out the evilness of all vampires yesterday. He had even demanded that they would begin to patrol together tomorrow. Buffy blinked.

Giles didn’t need to know.

TBC

Chapter 10

This crypt was rather neat.

A lot better than the place he was living at currently, which barely even deserved to be called ‘place’. Spike walked around, taking in the stonewalls, the dusty floor and the spiders’ webs in every corner.

In the back, there was a hole in the floor. Spike peered down into the opening. There was clearly some kind of space under this building. He hesitated for a moment before he jumped down. It wasn’t a very deep drop, but his landing stirred up long-gathered dust and he coughed.

He still held a hand over his mouth as he looked around. A giant chamber with walls of bare earth and roots from a tree or something. It was primeval and impersonal, simply a whole in the ground. Absolutely not a home for people of importance. Or for those who thought they were of importance. This reminded him of a stay he, Angelus and Drusilla had had soon after Darla was dusted.

”For Christ’s sake, Spike! When will you learn?!”

Angelus was truly pissed this time. And Spike wasn’t surprised when the older vampire grabbed his shoulders and pressed him up against the wall. Chuckling, Spike batted the bigger hands away.

“Oh, come on Peaches,” he said, “We’re vampires! It’s not like people will hunt us down; they don’t believe in demons anymore.”

Angelus eyes narrowed. “Don’t push me, boy.”

It was a long time since Spike had had the pleasure of seeing his Sire this enraged. Smirking, he glanced over at Drusilla to see if she was watching. But no, she was off in her own world, looking at some doll and murmuring to herself.

“Oh please! It’s not the corpses you’re brassed off about, mate, you’re crying over your honey. Like you ever were anything more to her than a good shag.”

Next moment Spike was lifted off his feet and a snarling master vampire was in his face. If his heart had beat, it would have been racing by now. He knew better, really. Had it been twenty years ago, Spike would have backed off by now. But this wasn’t twenty years ago. And before they came to New York he’d decided that this was it. This was his last test to see if Drusilla actually gave a damn about him.

He still remembered when he’d killed that Slayer in China. The way the vampiress’ eyes had glittered as she saw what he’d done. She’d been happy with him. If just for a couple of hours. Maybe taking out a second would finally give him her love. Even as Spike thought the thought, he almost laughed. Like that would ever happen. Dru belonged to her precious daddy, he knew that. But it simply wasn’t in him to give up easily. Nor was it in him to be alone. He supposed that was the real reason for why he’d stayed with them for so long.

Last try.

There was a Slayer in this town.

Spike shook his head. They had only stayed at that place for a couple of days, it had simply been a hideaway while they searched for something better. Angelus had hated it. He’d probably have hated the thought of staying in a crypt too.

This place could be fixed up.

***

“Morning Buffy.”

Giles greeted her with a smile before placing the last book in the bookcase.

“Morning,” Buffy said, “I just want to to talk about the patrol tonight.”

In a very, very quick talk. She was waiting for another speech about how evil vampires were, which for sure would send her off on another trip to guilt land.

Buffy knew she shouldn’t have said to Spike that they would patrol together again. Maybe it wasn’t too late to blow it off. When he showed up tomorrow she could say that she’d changed her mind, or simply refuse to come outside. Or even better, she wouldn’t even open the window.

The problem was that she kind of wanted to patrol with him.

He was an amazing fighter after all. He could watch her back in a way Giles never could. And, he wanted to kill Angelus and Drusilla. He has also killed two Slayers, a voice in her head reminded her.

She would ignore him when he showed up tomorrow. Not open the window. Then he’d probably just...

“Buffy! Are you even listening to me?”

“Huh?”

Giles sighed as he took off his glasses and started to polish them. And sent her off on that trip to guilt land. Without even mentioning vampires.

“Sorry, Giles,” Buffy said, “I just have a lot on my mind right now, slaying and stuff.”

“Indeed,” the man said, “I was talking about tonight’s patrol, I thought we could meet –”

He broke off as someone entered the library. A boy who Buffy recognized from... some class. He nodded to her Watcher, “Morning, Mr Giles.” and smiled at her as he walked by; “Hi Buffy.”

“Morning.”

“Hi.”

When the guy had passed by and disappeared among the book stacks, Giles leaned closer to Buffy.

“I’ll pick you up half past nine,” he whispered “You should probably tell your mother where you’re going.”

“Yeah, alright.” Buffy hesitated a second. “Will... will she be okay with it?”

“Actually I think she will, she is a very... What do you want?”

The boy had come back again, now carrying a book in his hand. He looked confused and held the book up.

“Eh... isn’t this a library?”

“Oh, yes of course! I’m sorry.”

Giles took the book and the three of them walked over to the issuing counter. A smile was brought on the Watcher’s lips as he looked at the book’s title. He didn’t say anything though and a minute later he handed the book back to the boy. After that he suddenly disappeared into the back room. As the guy turned to her, Buffy began to suspect Giles had left them alone on purpose. The boy made no move to leave, rather looked at her pointedly.

Right, she thought. Guy. I can handle this.

“Eh...” she began, then cheered up, “What are you reading?”

“Dickinson,” he said, but she just frowned and he hurried to clarify. “Emily Dickinson.”

“Oh, right!” Who?

“It’s stupid really, but she is kind of like my security blanket.”

“No, it’s not stupid! I had one too, when I was younger... and it was actually a real blanket and I threw it away a long time ago.”

A false giggle ended her line and then an uncomfortable silence followed. They eyed each other for a moment and Buffy swallowed.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “But I can’t really remember your...”

“It’s Owen, we have English together?”

“Right! I remember seeing you, but sometimes... well, I just have a bad name memory.” Another false giggle.

“No problem,” He chuckled too. “You know, I think we’re very alike, I have some trouble remembering things like...”

His gaze wavered to her neckline for a second and she could no longer hear what he was saying. An almost nervous glint had showed in his eyes – one she recognized directly. A glint one of the most popular girls at a high school ought to know. Buffy could practically feel her own widen. He’s going to ask me out. It was a statement and a couple of weeks ago she knew she’d have jumped of joy. Now she found herself licking her dry lips as her ears began to function again.

“...to go out with me sometime?”

No. Absolutely not. I don’t think I can touch you. No, no, no. She wasn’t ready. Didn’t know if she’d ever feel that warm feeling spread in her belly at the thought of a boy. Of a boy she liked kissing her. Just the thought of this Owen’s lips on any part of her body made her ready to throw up.

“Maybe tomorrow night? We could go to the Bronze or something?”

Spike. Who she really shouldn’t meet. Buffy looked up at Owen. Maybe this was what she needed. Something normal.

This was probably the only boy in Sunnydale who would ask her out anyway. Everyone in this town seemed to know she’d been kidnapped. This one most likely went round too much with his head in the clouds to read something as trivial as a newspaper. She couldn’t remember seeing him ever taking a note in class.

“That sounds great,” she said, putting on her biggest smile.

A genuine one spread on Owen’s lips. “Great! I’ll pick you up at eight?”

“It’s a date.”

As the boy walked out of the library Buffy tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

***

He was thinking about the Slayer again. And his thoughts had very little to do with the revenge. He found himself recalling how her body felt against his. How her skin had felt under his fingertip. How her eyes sparkled when she was angry.

No.

He was not thinking about that. Spike looked up at the black night sky, then rolled his eyes at it. Next moment he almost fell over as something hit him in the back.

“Hey man, you okay?!” A male voice called as Spike tried to keep his balance.

After a second or so the vampire turned around and was met by a man with blue hair. Blue hair and concern in his eyes. It almost made Spike chuckle.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” Spike said, then he let his eyes flash yellow, “Kind of hungry though.”

Next second he had grabbed the man by the throat. Just as he prepared to sink his fangs into the human’s neck, he thought; the Slayer wouldn’t like this.

The man’s eyes were still open wide when he fell dead to the ground a minute later.

***

When Buffy walked home from school the day before she’d been glad. She had even had a small smile on her face as she stepped into the house. The reason was that she was grounded. There was no way that she could go on the date with Owen. When Joyce asked if anything interesting had happened in school that day, Buffy put on a sad face and told her about the date. She had been absolutely sure that her mother would say “You brought it upon yourself, young lady. I’m sure that boy will ask you out again”. She had been wrong.

”Oh Buffy, I spoke to Mr Giles earlier and he wanted to go patrolling with you tonight,” A smile spread on Joyce’s face, even though a flicker of fear was in her eyes. “He explained about Slayer duties and... honestly, I still don’t understand everything about this. Anyway, I said you could go with him – as long as you’re home before eleven.” Now the fear disappeared and the smile became totally genuine. “So you’re not grounded anymore. Actually I really think you should go on that date, you need to go out more.”

Buffy felt her heart beat faster and a thousand reasons for not going swam to the surface. “Mom, I know you’d just worry about me,” she said “And I’m not sure if I’m ready for... seeing anyone.”

“I’ll be just as worried if you go out tomorrow as the next week and I think you need this. If you don’t feel comfortable, you know you can call me and I’ll come get you.”

Before him Buffy could never have imagined that she would feel so relived at the thought that her mother would pick her up if she wanted her to, but now she felt her fears calming. Maybe mom was right.

Maybe she did need this.

Owen was a man of his word. And eight o’clock sharp he rang the doorbell. Joyce opened the door and Buffy could hear how polite he was. She did not quite smile to herself and glanced in the mirror one more time. The dress felt too short and too glittery. Looking at herself again she decided that it was pretty. Yes. Not too short. Not too glittery. Not exposing half her legs and making her feel naked. No, it was pretty. Sexy.

At least Owen didn’t rake his gaze down her form as she’d expected him to. Instead, he smiled, seeming to be honestly glad to see her. Like he had looked forward to this night. And as he took her hand and bade Joyce a goodnight Buffy found herself smiling slightly.

***

The Slayer wasn’t inside the house. Spike could only hear one steady heartbeat from the inside and it wasn’t the slower pulse of the girl. Another proof was her scent, not an hour ago she had been outside the house. Of course, she could’ve been out for a short moment, but he doubted it.

So she’d run away, huh? Spike scowled and kicked at the ground. He had actually expected her to meet him, when had he become so naïve? The Watcher must be messing with her head again. Or maybe it was she who was simply stringing him along.

“Spike, right?”

Spike startled and looked up. The Slayer’s mum was standing in the, now open, front door. She had a small frown between her eyebrows as she eyed him. Shuffling a little, Spike nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Are you looking for Buffy?”

He hestitated a second. “Yes, Mrs Summers, but I didn’t mean –“

Joyce broke him off with a wave of her hand. “So why didn’t you knock on the front door?”

“Eh.... I know you don’t approve of me, so I thought...”

“That you’d lurk outside the house?”

Five minutes later he was sitting in the Summers’ kitchen with the Slayer’s mum smiling at him as if he was a long lost friend.

“Would you like something to drink?” she asked, “Hot chocolate, maybe?”

Spike just stared at her. This woman had invited him into her house after that he’d brought her kidnapped daughter home, defended them from Angelus and... Oh. Maybe he shouldn’t be so surprised after all.

She hadn’t waited for his answer and was already moving around in the kitchen. Throwing a look over her shoulder, she asked; “So, did you come to see my daughter?”

“Yeah,” Spike said, “We were gonna discuss some vampire stuff.”

“Oh? So you’re still... spending time together?”

Not good. He was postitive that the Slayer’s mum wouldn’t approve of, as she put it, him “spending time” with her daughter. Last time they had met she’d been close to hysterical about it.

“We ran into each other the other n – day,” he said, hearing his voice taking on a slight upper class accent, “and she told me some... things about slaying and her Watcher.”

“You mean, Mr Giles?”

“Yeah. Anyway, we decided to meet up tonight to discuss it.”

For a moment she eyed him, then she seemed to accept what he’d said and nodded. A couple of seconds later she walked over to the counter and placed a cup in front of him, before sitting down on the other side.

“I really don’t know what to say about this,” she said, “Buffy has been so secretive since she... came back.”

“She probably doesn’t want to worry you.”

The older woman smiled slightly again, but this time it didn’t reach her eyes. “Well, it isn’t working.”

***

This was almost... kind of... not at all... fun.

The Bronze was jammed. Full of sweating bodies moving to a pounding rythm. Buffy remembered a time when she had lost herself among all the others, and she actually found herself looking longingly at the dance floor. Owen and she were sitting together and he was talking about... eh.... She had absolutely no idea. But she smiled and nodded at what she hoped were the right places.

They had been here for almost an hour. It hadn’t been terrible. She was a little skittish, but it wasn’t like she could have expected anything else. Owen hadn’t tried anything, and he actually seemed like a nice guy... if it wasn’t for the fact that he was totally uninteresting. Her gaze drifted to the dance floor.

“... and it feels like I can understand exactly what she writes,” Owen finished.

“I understand,” Buffy said, smiling, even though her eyes were on the people dancing.

“You want to dance?”

“I don’t think... okay.”

***

“Well, Spike, I don’t think that woman was worthy of your affection,” Joyce said.

“Yeah, I know,” Spike grinned a little, “Just wish I’d figured that out a centu – when I met her.”

They had been talking for half an hour and somehow drifted from Buffy to Drusilla and Angelus, without all vampiric aspects of the latter pair of course.

“Love can sometimes make it very hard to see clearly.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” he said, “Anyway, I’d enough with her cheating on me with that bastard so I left.”

“Well that was definitely the right choice.” Joyce patted his hand. “Would you like some more chocolate?”

“No thanks, Joyce.”

Spike saw the woman glance at the clock and found himself giving her a reassuring smile. “I’m sure Buffy is fine,” he said, “Where did you say she was going, again?”

“The Bronze. Have you ever been there?”

“Couple of times, it’s alright. You don’t have to worry about bad guys,” he said, “Was she going with a friend?”

“Actually, she had a date,” Joyce said, “I’m happy she is going out, even though it worries me when she’s out on her own.”

“I’m sure she’s fine.” Spike stood up. “I should get going though, got some things to do.”

“Alright.” Joyce stood as well and took his mug. “It was nice meeting you.”

“Yeah, you too,” he scratched the back of his head and gestured towards the cup with his other, “And thanks for...”

“You’re welcome.”

Nodding to her, Spike walked over to the kitchen door and went out of the house.

He had a Slayer to find.

TBC

Chapter 11

She was dancing.

Dressed in some glittering, form fitting dress that was cut half way down her thighs. Gaze glued to the lumbering ponce in front of her and her arms high above her head she moved easily to the beat.

At first a sting of jealousy rushed through him and he could feel his eyes flash amber. It didn’t really surprise him at the moment; she looked quite fetching tonight after all, and she had been supposed to meet up with him. The feeling disappeared only a second later when he noticed the slight hesitation in her moves. The flinch as the boy placed his hands on her waist. Her reluctance to let him to pull her close.

Suddenly she lifted her head and her gaze met his through the crowd. He raised an eyebrow and she glanced away. The boy dancing with her frowned, then noticed Spike staring at them. The vampire saw him ask the Slayer something and she shook her head.

A couple of minutes later they moved off the dance floor and went to sit at a table. He walked up to them immediately. It was amusing to watch her date’s brow furrow again.

“Hello love,” he said, “Fancy meeting you here.”

Oh, if looks could kill.

“Go away, Spike,” she said.

Still he thought he heard something like... relief... in her voice. He met her eyes again. Yes, under the mask of annoyance she was clearly glad to see him. Spike smirked. So the date wasn’t entertaining her, huh?

“I’m sorry,” the Slayer said to the boy beside her, “This is Spike, he is a.... eh, friend of mine.”

The guy let his gaze travel over Spike’s form before offering his right hand.

“Owen.”

Spike just raised an eyebrow.

“Spike!” The girl hissed warningly and to her date she said; “I’m sorry, he doesn’t know how to be polite.”

She kept her eyes on the vampire as she said it though, her face saying something totally different than her words. Get me out of here!

“Eh... Giles,” Spike quickly said, his eyes on the girl, who nodded encouraging, “He needs you.”

“The librarian at school?” Owen blinked, looking from Spike to the Slayer.

“No!” the Slayer said. “There is another Giles. Spike’s friend Giles. Right, Spike?”

She scowled at him, the message clear; You couldn’t come up with something better?

“Yeah, exactly. My friend Giles.”

Spike, not even attempting to be discreet, rolled his eyes at the boy. Please! Like he won’t buy it. She should be a little more grateful. He was doing her a favour after all. Saving her from the big bad boring –

“Huh?” Owen frowned for the third time in five minutes. “So your friend’s friend Giles, who is not the librarian at school, needs you. For what?”

Spike opened his mouth to tell the wanker that it wasn’t his bloody buisness. But before he could say anything, he noted the Slayer’s look. She was leaning forward a little, glaring at him as if she’d read his thoughts. Spike rolled his eyes. Right. No insulting of the precious date. This was ridiculous. Grabbing the Slayer’s hand, he pulled her to her feet.

“Erm... heart attack.” Spike said, ”He had a heart attack and we gotta run. See ya around, mate. Not.” The last word was muttered as he began to drag the girl away. He heard her call her good byes, the ‘thank you for a lovely date’ and ‘I’m oh so sorry I have to leave’. He also heard the underlying message, that told him she wouldn’t be going on a date with that pillock again.

***

She had never before been so grateful for fresh air. Drawing in a deep breath, she leaned her head backwards and looked up at the night sky.

Moving around the other people in the dimness of the Bronze. Having someone so close upon her, male hands trying to grip her waist. She hadn’t even heard the rhythm. She had been too focused on remembering that the people around her were humans, that none of them had a chance against her, that she could push the boy away any time she wanted.

“Happy to see me, pet?”

Buffy startled, then hastily pulled her hand from his.

“Yeah,” she mumbled, “It’s just... too much, you know?”

He did know. She could see it. Even though a small smirk tickled the corners of his lips, he knew what she meant.

“And what kind of an excuse was that supposed to be?” Buffy said, trying to sound irritated even as she had to keep herself from laughing. “Your friend Giles had a heartattack?”

“What? No points for quick thinking? The ponce bought it, didn’t he?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, then giggled. The vampire first gave an answering chuckle, to just a second later scowl; looking at her as if she was a naughty child.

“You were supposed to meet up with me,” he stated.

He is also called ‘Slayer of Slayers’. Giles words came out of nowhere and echoed through Buffy’s mind, making her flinch. She’d forgotten that. She wanted to forget again.

The vampire walking beside her didn’t act like a cold-blooded killer. She didn’t even think she’d seen him in game face.

She had a thousand excuses ready for why she hadn’t met up with Spike. Most of them built on the obious ‘Slayer working with vampire equals wrongness’. Vampires weren’t supposed to kill their own kind. Slayers weren’t supposed to kill demons alongside with them. He was an evil killer of the helpless by nature. The Slayer was born to help the helpless. Everything clear.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured.

Spike blinked. “Come again?”

“I said I’m sorry,” she repeated, louder this time, “But only a tiny bit. And besides, you don’t have a phone so actually I couldn’t tell you I was going out.”

“Whatever you say, love,” he said, smirking wildly at her, “So, you still up for a patrol?”

***

“And while I killed the demon,” she said, aiming a blow, “he went on and on about ‘taking responsibility’.”

A low chuckle from behind her, and Buffy dared to cast a glance over her shoulder. Spike was now propped up against a headstone, cigarette in his hand. He raised an eyebrow when he saw her looking at him.

“The Watcher said that?”

“Yup, ‘Buffy you’re the chosen one, it is you responsibility to patrol, save the world, slay all evil’, blah blah.” She turned back to the fledgling again, just in time to avoid a new upset of fang marks in her neck. “As if I don’t already get it.”

Buffy delivered another hit, then a piece of wood through the heart and the newly risen vampire exploded into dust. Twirling the stake between her fingers, she turned back to Spike.

“He keeps tiptoeing around me, as if I don’t know...” she continued, offering a small smile, “The importance of killing evilness kinda comes with the whole Slayer package, but Giles couldn’t just come out and say what he wanted.”

“And what’s that pet?”

“He thinks you’re a danger and I should kill you.”

Looking away, she wrapped her arms around herself. She could feel the vampire’s eyes on her, but he didn’t say anything, just waited. Sighing she walked over to lean against the headstone too. His leather coat brushed against her jeans.

“I’d expected him to be really angry, you know,” she mumbled, “for teaming up with you even though I knew about the vampire thing.”

“Yeah, figured he whould be,” Spike said, taking one last drag of his cigarette and dropping it to the ground.

“He just acted as if it was all obvious.”

For Giles she supposed it was. He didn’t dare to take any chances when most demons equal wrong. Everything was so much simpler if you put vampires in the black area and Slayers in the white. Giles was scared of her getting hurt if she hung out with a vampire, of course he was. Just because Spike had offered to help her take out him didn’t automatically place him on the good side, since his body was possessed by a demon. The easiest way out was to kill him. But Giles still hadn’t come straight out and said it.

“Huh,” the vampire said, “So all the Watcher did was telling you pretty facts about me and giving you a grand speech about responsibility.”

“Yup, totally with the implied ‘you should just kill the evil vampire’ line.”

For a second he was completely still. Then he burst into laughter.

Half bent forward, clutching his stomach, he gasped for air even though she was pretty sure vampires didn’t need to breath. She couldn’t help an answering giggle, despite the absurdity of the situation.

It took him close to a minute to gather himself and in the end she just looked at him, amused.

“Oh come on!” she said, slapping his shoulder, “It wasn’t that funny.”

“Yes it was!” He drew in a deep breath, eyes still dancing. “You just got a lousy sense of humor, Slayer, I can just see it...”

He began to laugh again and this time Buffy rolled her eyes even as she smiled. The vampire looked so... carefree like this. Eyes closed, deep chuckles rumbling through his chest. As if he didn’t have a care in this world, and at the moment she supposed he didn’t.

It didn’t take him as long to compose himself this time, but when he stood up straight again the glitter in his eyes was far from dying out. It really suited him, made him look almost... boyish. Buffy shook her head, grinning too. She’d bet he wouldn’t like being called that. It definitely didn’t suit his bad ass image.

“You’re so weird,” she said, still smiling.

“Yeah?” He grinned back. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“That wasn’t a compliment, doofus!” She smacked his forearm again.

“Oi, pet!” He rubbed his oh so wounded arm. “That hurt!”

Buffy just rolled her eyes again and it made his eyes dance even more. She had yet to understand what was so funny in the first place. It must have been some strange vampire joke. A no-Slayer-can-ever-get-it-because-only-bleached vampires-get-it-joke. Then she almost giggled at her own thought. Maybe Spike wasn’t the only weirdo.

There was a comfortable silence as they resumed their path. She stuck the stake back into her waistband and burrowed her hands deep into the pockets of her jacket. It was pretty chilly tonight. Tilting her head back she drew in a deep breath of the cool air and looked up at the black sky. LA had never been this dark during the nights. Or maybe it was she who had never walked where there were no streetlights.

That time seemed a million years away. Joking around with Laura and eyeing the college boys, hoping they would ask them out. Being popular. Having the others in school almost... looking up at her. Or at least being jealous of her. How... much like Cordelia she had been. Buffy felt a smirk tug on the corner of her mouth. Now that was a scary thought. Just thinking about fashions and makeup and guys and... not worrying about him. Everything had been truly different.

“What’re you thinkin’ about, Slayer?”

Blue eyes and a scarred, raised eyebrow. Different, oh yes.

“Better times,” she said, “Times when I was young and carefree.”

“Still seem pretty young to me,” he said, letting his eyes travel over her form, “but I get what you mean.”

“You do?” she said ironically as she tried to ignore his gaze. Why did he do that? And why didn’t it bother her?

“Time changes all of us,” He suddenly felt far away, his mind somewhere were she couldn’t follow. “Might feel bad right now... the way it seems to almost... crush everything we are, but in the end I think we come out more put together than before.”

“But never the same again.”

He blinked, turning towards her.

“Course not. But then, would you really want to be the same as you were?”

***

Get out of my head!

What the fuck was happening?

The Slayer was staring at him, eyes shooting daggers as if this was somehow his fault. She opened her mouth for the tenth time – he’d counted carefully – moving it desperately, seemingly trying to force words to come out. Nothing was heard.

Spike tried himself – for the twelfth time in his case – and stared at the girl. It must have been her foal.

Bloody... stop this now!

What?! I didn’t do anything!

Well it sure as hell wasn’t me, you must’ve done something!

How can... Get out of my head!

They panted, gazes locked with each other and suddenly Spike realized that they had begun to circle each other. Halting immediately he forced in a deep breath and started to pace instead. What the hell had happened?

They had been patrolling, chatting away about her mother – she’d had surprise written all over her face when he mentioned his little visit. She’d staked her second vamp of the night and he’d applauded her and wondered over the ease there had between them tonight. Then what...? She’d tried to say something but no words came out of her lips and she’d panicked.

Scratch that.

They had both panicked.

He hadn’t managed a word either. And they had gone over to waving at each other, probably looking like idiots with their hands in the air, when... Suddenly her voice had been in his head. Obviously it had been the same for her, with his voice obviously, because she had begun with the ‘Get out of my head!’. Like he wanted to be in her head.

It’s not like I can bloody help it! He stopped his pacing and threw his head back. Bloody stupid bitch...

Hey! I heard that!

Yeah?! I meant you to!

They went into a new staring match. At least she appeared to be calmer now and her thoughts weren’t coming in a stream to him as they had in the beginning. Slowly she sighed and glanced away.

Sorry.

Did.. did she just apologize... again? Spike nearly frowned. And what for? He was on his way to ask when another of her thoughts rushed into his mind.

I didn’t mean to accuse you for... I know you didn’t do this.

She must have caught his thoughts again. An amused little grin told him as much. And hey! How come she could shield her thoughts from him and he couldn’t, this wasn’t fair!

Just don’t think so loud.

Don’t think so loud?! How the hell does one manage that?!

But just as soon, he became aware of the difference. If he just didn’t concentrate on sending or not sending his thoughts to her, everything was normal. Well not completely normal since he still couldn’t speak, but he could actually feel when he was sending his thoughts to her.

They needed a plan, this must be a spell of some sort. Magic. Spike shuddered.

We have to go to your Watcher.

What?! Her eyes widened and she began shaking her head furiously. No way! I promised him I’d never see you again.

So you want to stay like this forever then? He raised his eyebrows and she sighed. Didn’t think so. Now, come on!

He clamped his hand around hers and dragged her with him.

TBC

Chapter 12

Spike pondered over whether he should knock or not. The other alternative was to just kick the door in, but he suspected that the Watcher wouldn’t be too keen on helping them if he did that. Spike had never really liked the prospect of knocking though, especially not with a little blonde Slayer behind him, who was trying to yank her hand from his grasp. If he actually took the time to knock, it was likely that she’d manage to tear away and flee.

Let go of me!

Let me think... No. He glanced at her. Why couldn’t she just shut up and keep still? If I do that, you’ll run off.

No I won’t!

He quirked an eyebrow at her.

I just don’t think we have to do this. The Slayer shifted her weight from one foot to another, then her face lit up. You know, Giles isn’t good with this stuff anyway. All those books he has, they are just for decoration. Oh! And the only reason he became a Watcher, was because his father was one!

Two raised eyebrows. Do you think I’m stupid?

Or maybe it was she who actually was dumb? He sure as hell didn’t like the thought of not being able to talk with anyone except her for the rest of his unlife. So what if the Watcher became furious with her? They had more important things to worry about than an angry man in tweed. Spike raised his hand, knocked and then pushed the girl in front of him. At least the man wouldn’t stake her.

Minutes ticked by. The silence broken only by her thumping heart and the thoughts she now and then couldn’t help but send him. They were so fuzzy though that he couldn’t make out much more than the underlying worry. When at last the door opened, they were faced by a yawning Watcher in a dark purple dressing gown. He saw the girl first and blinked.

”Buffy? Is something wrong?”

Then his gaze landed on Spike and his eyes went wide. It was obvious that his first impulse was to slam the door closed, but just as he gripped the door handle, his eyes landed on the Slayer again. She seemed ready to scramble backwards, probably would have if Spike hadn’t been in the way. She opened her mouth and closed it again. Instead, she slowly pointed first at Spike and herself, then her fingers made a walking gesture towards the inside of the house.

“Buffy, why...?” Giles asked, “What is he doing here?”

She opened her mouth, waving wildly with her hands as she moved her lips. Rupert just looked more and more confused.

Stupid bloody Watcher...

Uh-huh.

“What happened?” Giles asked.

The Slayer nodded furiously and mimicked zipping her mouth close. Spike could see when the last piece of the puzzle fell into place as the man’s eyes lit up.

“You can’t speak,” he stated, “Was it a demon?”

And the prize goes to...

Oh, shut up, Spike! At least he got what I meant.

Spike held up his hands in surrender and the Watcher frowned at him. Still standing in the doorway the man tried to urge the girl inside. She refused and pointed at Spike, who smirked knowingly.

“I’m not inviting him in.”

The Slayer glanced at Giles, her brow furrowed in thought. Spike scowled and stepped forward.

Make him invite me in!

The Watcher took a step back, as if the barrier would suddenly disappear. Buffy quickly placed a hand on Spike’s chest, eyebrows raised. It was clear that she was trying for annoyance, but it was impossible to miss the underlying fear in her eyes. What was she afraid of? The Watcher being angry with her? Well, of course he would be! But sooner or later they would make up and smile and be happy, like white hats always did.

How do you expect that to happen? The words said she was still going for annoyance, but her worried tone betrayed her. Look, maybe I should talk to him alone, I –

No. Bloody. Way.

This ‘thing’ was happening to both of them, and he didn’t trust her to be an honest spokesman. She might blame everything on him or try to sweep it under the carpet, not that he really thought she’d be that stupid but... You could never be sure with this sort of thing. God forbid.. he might wake up with a tail tomorrow.

“Buffy?”

Both startled and swung around to face the Watcher again, who was looking at them with a puzzled expression. The Slayer glanced at Spike for a second, and then turned to the Watcher. She stared into the man’s eyes for a second, before mouthing ‘please’.

***

You try to explain it then!

C’mon Slayer! Just bloody write something, it’s not that complicated!

So you do it!

She practically threw the notebook and the pen at Spike. How she wished she could yell at him. In the background she heard Giles clear his throat. Loudly.

“Please!” he said, “Something serious has obviously happened, you two should at least try to act like adults.”

The irritation in his voice made her close her eyes. She wasn’t mad at Spike really, and she shouldn’t take her anger out on him. They were both edgy, and she just found it really exhausting hearing him swearing in her head over and over again.

She and Spike were sitting together on the sofa and Giles sat across from them in an armchair. At first there had been close to two feet separating her and her vampire, but as soon as Giles had given her the notebook Spike had somehow drifted closer. OK. When she’d been staring at the blank paper for two minutes he’d told her to ‘give me the sodding book!’ as he attempted to grab it, which had led to the mind-yelling and throwing.

Shaking her head, she glanced at Spike. He had written something down and was now handing the book back to Giles.

It’ll be alright. He was grinning at her, but his eyes had softened. Watcher man will forgive and forget, yeah?

But I promised him I’d never see you again.

You didn’t keep a promise, so what? Everyone –

“Are you two having a conversation right now?”

Buffy flinched, it felt just like she’d been whispering behind Giles’ back. Then she inwardly rolled her eyes at herself; it wasn’t like she could stop thinking.

“Do you think a demon did this?” Giles asked, “Or could it be some kind of spell?”

The vampire shrugged helplessly as response, but grabbed the notebook again and Buffy leaned over his shoulder. She was surprised to see he had a rather nice handwriting. Far more elegant than her own girlish scrawl.

Do you have any ideas? she asked him, even as he just let the pencil rest against the paper and it was obvious that he didn’t.

No. Spike sighed. Alright. Let’s think over what happened tonight.

Okay. She drew in a deep breath and licked her lips. What have we done?

Eh… I came straight from your house to the Bronze. Did you fight something while you were there?

They soon covered what had happened during the night. They hadn’t fought anything other than a fledgling, and it seemed highly unlikely that Owen would be a big bad. During the time she and Spike were discussing, Giles gaze went back and forth between them. She was surprised he was quiet as long as he was.

“Maybe you could think over if something unusal happened tonight,” he said at last, “Did you see any strange demon or person?”

Spike scrawled down a line and held the book up ‘Already did and can’t remember anything’.

“I see,” Giles nodded, “What about the last couple of days, then? Have you two met since Buffy fought the insect demon?”

It felt like she was answering two questions at the time. The one Giles was asking straight out, and the underlying one ‘how many times have you met since I told you Spike was a ruthless killer?’. She shifted in her seat. It was only once, excluding today, and they hadn’t decided to meet up three days ago; it had just happened.

Slayer… you remember that demon outside the mantis woman’s house?

Buffy startled and looked up. Spike’s eyes was sparkling and she nodded slowly. It had been really gross, especially when Spike had gotten that slime all over her face. The demon had been rather strong too, if...

The slime. Spike put the pen against the paper. You see, pet? That has to be it.

But it’s been days! Wouldn’t it affect us before now?

Can you think of anything else?

For a moment they looked at each other, before Buffy yielded. It seemed to be the most logical option. Far better than Owen beeing the great danger.

The pencil had started to move on the paper and soon the pad was back in Giles’ hands.

“Oh, right,” the man said when he’d read, “That’s why you… I’ll look this up immediately.”

Buffy quickly took the book again, scribbled down a line and held it up for her Watcher to see. 'Call my mom?'. She knew her mother would become worried if she wasn’t home soon, if she wasn’t pacing the floor already. Besides, Buffy would be happy if she didn’t have to explain this situation on her own. Hell, she’d probably have to write an essay for her mom in that case.

“Yes, of course.”

Giles stood and walked over to the phone. Slumping back into the sofa Buffy breathed out. The storm was far from over; he had yet to show his disappointment for her breaking her promise. But now when she had time to think rationally, Spike’s reasoning did make sense. Of course they should talk to her Watcher. Besides, this might give Giles a chance to see that the vampire could help them in the good fight. Help them to kill him. It wasn’t like she could count on Giles to stand at her side in the actual, physical fight. For one thing, she would have to worry about him getting hurt, and besides she didn’t even think he’d prove himself very helpful. Not like Spike would anyway.

Good thinking, pet.

Buffy could even hear the pleased smirk in his mental voice. An irritated sigh slipped through her lips as she turned towards him, which did little but let her see the actual smirk too.

I wasn’t supposed to hear that? Sorry. The smirk grew even wider.

Oh shut up! She scowled at him. So what if your reasoning was good? It isn’t like you saved the world… and you would never do that, okay, but maybe…

In the end she just shook her head with a dismissive gesture and got the dubious pleasure of seeing his smirk broaden again. She could almost see the comeback ready on his lips.

Whatever! Let’s listen to Giles instead.

Giles. She’d really expected a different reaction from him. Screaming perhaps, but then again, it really wasn’t like Giles to yell. It was much more possible that she’d be on the receiving end of that look of his. The look that told her how disappointed he was. He would probably talk to her mom about this too. But still, she felt a warm feeling spread in her belly at the thought that he’d put her first. He’d focused on her wellbeing before everything else.

They had talked about putting her first. They had looked her in the eye with all their proper rules and pretty speeches, but only lies had come out of their mouths. They had thought they were almighty. With their white little pills three times a day. White walls that smelt like...

Buffy shuddered and forced herself to calm. Taking a deep breath she sat up straighter, just in time to see Giles put the phone down. She caught Spike looking at her strangely, but the vampire quickly shook his head and turned to her Watcher.

“I should get you home now, Buffy,” Giles said, “I’ll research this and meet up with you in the morning.”

Buffy fumbled after the pencil and the book. 'What did she say?'

“She’s very worried, naturally,” Giles said, “Honestly I’m not sure she completely understood what I told her.”

She seems to be accepting the Slayer-gig though, right, love?

Yeah, Buffy smiled a little. She is really trying to... wait. How do you know that?

Shifting a little, Spike shrugged. I told you I ran into her when I was at your house earlier.

And she told you this?

Well... She invited me in, didn’t she? We had a little chat. She’s a nice lady, your mum.

Buffy frowned. She told you this? Just like that? Was this the same mom who had given her a lecture about never seeing Spike again?

Yeah, surprised me too at first.

But yesterday she said I could never see you again!

“Are you having another conversation?”

Suddenly Buffy noticed her Watcher watching the two of them with a wrinkled brow, as in deep thought. Grinning sheepishly, she mouthed ‘sorry’ and he gave her a gentle smile.

“I suppose it’s understandable,” he said, “Well, Buffy, I better drive you home now... and when I come back I’ll do a spell to disinvite a certain vampire.”

Giles rose to his feet and made a gesture to the door. “Come on, Buffy,” he said, “We should really get going, your mother is worried.”

I’ll see you later, Slayer, yeah? Spike stood and glanced at the Watcher, Looks like we’ve worn out our welcome.

Buffy nodded slowly, unwillingly. The thought of sitting alone in a car with Giles wasn’t very appealing.

As soon as they stepped outside, Spike disappeared into the darkness. For a long moment Buffy stared at the spot where she’d last seen him.

Spike? Even as she sent the thought, she couldn’t help but wonder if their telepathy worked at a distance too. A part of her wished it didn’t. She didn’t like the thought of having someone else... in her mind. But a small voice spoke of the comfort in it. In a way Spike was just a blink away now. If he showed up. But what proof did she have that Spike would help her? Vampire, evil, blah blah.

Yeah?

Patrol tomorrow?

A pause.

What’s your Watcher gonna say about that?

A second pause.

Well... we have to meet anyway, this mind-thing, you know.

Right. Buffy could swear she heard the hint of a smile in his voice. Tomorrow at your house then, love.

Tomorrow.

***

Spike walked slowly towards the crypt. His crypt. It was the closest thing he’d had to a real home in ages. It was comforting. Maybe because he knew how much Angelus would not have liked the place. It wasn’t very cosy, not even for a creature of darkness. But it was his. His to do with as he pleased. And he felt like putting it in rather good order. He almost chuckled at the thought; he’d never really liked the idea at nesting anywhere before – at least not in Sunnydale. If he ever were to actually start over again, it wouldn’t be here. And it would definitely be after Dru and his Sire were gone. If ever. He sighed, searching in his pocket for a cigarette. As he stuck it between his lips, he saw a movement out of the corner of his eye. Spinning around, a very familiar demon suddenly stood before him.

“You,” Spike tried to say, but ended up mouthing the word instead.

The demon grinned.

***

“It hardly seems fair to have this discussion when you can’t defend your actions, Buffy, but,” Giles drew in a deep breath, “Spike is an evil creature. He is not, and will never become, a... a friend.”

A friend? Of course not! She didn’t see that vampire as a friend, he was just... extra muscle.

“Buffy,” Giles continued, “Have you even thought about.... The possibility that he isn’t feeding is very low.”

Right. That thing she’d chosen to ignore. But would Spike really be so stupid that he would walk around killing people even as he teamed up with the Slayer? Buffy bit her bottom lip. Maybe vamps could feed without killing.

“Bloody hell, Buffy!” Giles suddenly stepped on the accelerator and the old car jumped. “You’re putting the lives of all your loved ones in danger! What about you mother? What if Spike decides to make her his... midnight snack?! Would you ever forgive yourself?!”

Buffy swallowed. No, she wouldn’t.

But she didn’t believe the vampire would harm her family.

TBC

Chapter 13

How in hell had this happened?

Spike stared down at the dead demon. This fight had been much easier than the first, when he and the Slayer had been attacked by it. Probably because he’d had surprise on his side this time round. Why was it he’d had that? The demon had looked Spike in the eye, waiting... and he’d leapt upon it, of course. A minute later, its neck was snapped. Spike blinked. He’d hoped for some kind of... revelation. A bang and then the return of his voice would have been good. But nothing. He really hoped they wouldn’t need the demon’s lungs (if it even had a pair) or something, to break this... whatever it was. Deciding he couldn’t do anything about it if that was the case, Spike returned on his path back to the crypt. Growling silently, Spike threw one last glance over his shoulder at the body.

Stupid, fucking demon.

***

Her mom hugged her when she stepped into the house, and held on for so long that breathing became an issue, even for the Slayer. Gently prying her mother’s arms away, Buffy gasped after air for a second, before smiling.

“Sorry, honey,” Joyce said, stroking Buffy’s hair and pressing a kiss against her temple, “I was just so worried about you.”

It was close to a minute before she at last turned to Giles, who was standing in the door way.

“Mr Giles,” she said, “Thank you for driving Buffy home.”

“It was really no problem,” Giles said.

Buffy stood tense. Waiting for her Watcher to explain... say something. For a long moment the two adults eyed each other, and Buffy could just imagine what they were thinking. Giles was probably pondering over a polite way to tell her mom to stay the hell away from Spike, and her mother... probably wanted answers, if she hadn’t already gotten them over the phone. Finally her mom made a gesture towards the open door.

“Well, Mr Giles,” she said, “I’d invite you in, but it’s very late and I have to work tomorrow... unless of course, if you know something new about this... condition of Buffy’s...”

“No, unfortunately not,” Giles said, “And I really wasn’t expecting you to invite me in at so late an hour.” He drew in a deep breath. “I just want to ask if you have invited a man who calls himself Spike into the house?”

Buffy closed her eyes. They had discussed the matter of the vampire the whole drive over. Or rather; Giles had discussed and she’d tried to look like she was listening. When he’d reached the point at ‘vampires are evil’ for the second time, she’d given up all pretence. Luckily Giles spent most of his talking watching the road, and it was dark in the car. Besides, it wasn’t like he expected any response.

“Actually, I enjoyed a conversation with the young man this very evening,” Joyce said, smiling dreamily, “Why do you ask?”

Why is she smiling like that? Buffy stared at her mother.

“You do know he’s a vampire?” Giles asked, as he pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and took of his glasses.

Joyce paled. “What?” Hastily, she turned to Buffy. “Did you know this?”

Buffy gulped and nodded. God, what wouldn’t she do to have her voice back now. To be able to say... anything.

“I... is he dangerous?” Joyce asked, fixing her eyes upon her daughter.

For a moment Buffy hesitated, then she slowly shook her head. No, she definitely didn’t think Spike would harm Joyce. Not so long as he wanted help to get his revenge. But the word ‘dangerous’ covered people in general, and that kind of thought she refused to dwell upon.

“Mrs Summers,” Giles said, “I think you should be very careful with Spike.”

***

So it was time again.

Spike sighed, scratching his chest with his left hand. Wait. Chest. Bare chest. Now the Powers thought it was bloody funny to show him off half naked?

And there she was. Face hidden in shadow, tiny hands clasped as in prayer. She’d her eyes closed, head tilted back a fraction. But she knew he was there, Spike was sure. It still didn’t feel right to disturb her. Instead he sank down on the ground, taking in the surroundings as he leaned back against a wall. They were in Sunnydale, no doubt. He’d recognize this town’s smell anywhere. This was an alley; the alley he’d killed the blue-haired boy in. The body still lay sprawled on the ground. Strange. The police was usually good at cleaning up the signs after the sober natural creatures and any unexplained happenings.

“She is going to find out, you know.”

Spike didn’t startle at the words. Didn’t look at her. The boy’s eyes were wide open, but empty; there was no longer a gaze in them. His skin was so white, even paler than Spike’s own. Funny how the humans’ lives could just spill out with their blood. Beside him, the female tittered with a hand over her mouth. At least he assumed it was her mouth.

“Your thoughts are weird,” she said, then all laughter abruptly died out and she tilted her head to the side, “But you know all about that, don’t you?”

“All about what?”

“Reading thoughts.”

What was she going about? Just because he and Buffy communicated with their thoughts at the moment, didn’t make him some sort of expert in the subject. Maybe she just wanted to tell that she knew what had happened to him, but what was the point of that?

“Yes.”

“Stop that!” Spike growled.

“Why?” She looked genuine confused. “You get to read her thoughts, it’s only fair that I get to listen to yours.”

First now she unclasped her hands and stood, slowly making her way over to him. A small finger came up to graze Spike’s cheekbone.

“This,” she said, knocking on her temple with her free hand, “is all going to lead to an explosion and then... she’ll know.”

“Know what? That I killed blue boy over there,” Spike snorted, “Like I give a damn.”

She leaned closer, so close he could feel her cool breath against his face. “She is going to rock your world, William,” she whispered, “You should ensure that you rock hers first.”

Angelus and Drusilla. The revenge. Why wasn’t she talking about that? She’d said she’d guide him. Or had she? Spike couldn’t remember. Maybe she’d been fooling him all along. Roughly, Spike pushed her away and rose.

“They can’t be your priority until she has risen.”

“Risen, what do you mean risen?”

She started to faint and he grabbed her forearm.

“Wait! Last time, you were trying to tell me something.”

“Oh. I thought you’d fuck something up, but you didn’t.”

And she was gone.

***

Afterwards, Joyce came into Buffy’s room, sitting down on the bed. Giles had left a while ago, hurrying away to do that disinvite.

“Sweetheart,” her mom said, “This must be terrible for you.”

Buffy just shrugged; right now it felt like she’d more important things to worry over than her inability to speak. Like why her mom suddenly acted all friendly with the vampire she’d forbidden Buffy to see.

Reaching over, she took the pad her mom had placed on the nightstand. Hastily, she scribbled down a line. ‘Why did you invite Spike in?’.

“It seems a little... strange, doesn’t it?” Joyce smiled a little. “Especially after forbidding you to see him.”

Buffy nodded, sitting up in bed, and her mom sighed.

“I overreacted, Buffy,” she said, “First you were in that institution and then you got kidnapped... you can hardly blame me for being overprotective.” Buffy had to give her that, and she offered a small grin. “Then you refuse to see your counsellor again and suddenly I find out that all your talk about... vampires and such, is true.”

Mom’s eyes were suddenly glittering of tears. She let out a deep breath and glanced away for a second, before taking Buffy’s hand.

“I didn’t take it very well, as you know,” Joyce said, “And I think I, well, thought everyone was trying to hurt my baby.”

Buffy took the pen again. ‘Spike is everyone?’. Joyce gave a small laugh.

“I still don’t like that you spend time with him,” she said, “Beside the... vampire aspect, I don’t like the thought of you spending time with the man... eh vampire, who saved you.”

Strangely enough, Buffy wouldn’t be surprised if Joyce invited Spike in again if he showed up. Not ‘if’, she thought, ‘when’. Still, she could tell her mom was wigged about the whole ‘Spike is a vampire’- thing.

”Well, Mr Giles, do you think he’d hurt us?” her mother asked, “He certinly didn’t act like a.... a killer when I spoke to him this evening.”

“Mrs Summers, vampires are very impulsive beings,” Giles said. “They can seem perfectly normal one second, and attack you the next. All to serve their own selfish reasons.”

What was he talking about? Buffy knew vampires were impulsive, but that was mostly fledglings. So, Spike planning his revenge was impulsive?

“Really?” Joyce said, glancing at her daughter, “I really didn’t get that impression of... but I suppose you know best.”

But as her mom looked at Buffy, she could still see the flicker of doubt in the older woman’s eyes.

“I did believe vampires were a little less... civilized.”

‘Most of them are’ Buffy wrote, ‘Usually they just lunge for your neck’. She ended her writing with a big yawn. This conversation wasn’t over. Buffy didn’t even want to think of how many more ‘Slayer talks’ that lay ahead of her. But for now, her mother ended the chat and kissed her on the cheek.

***

Spike rolled onto his back and groaned. Or rather he rolled over on his back and opened his mouth. Sighing, he put a hand over his eyes. Somehow, he’d hoped yesterday had been a dream and that he’d wake himself up by his own snoring. Not that he did snore, at least he’d never had anyone complaining about it... what wouldn’t he do for a some snoring right now? He hadn’t slept very well. On top of all this, that sodding bitch kept showing up. The least she could do was giving him messages that made sense.

Slowly he sat up on the sarcophagus. Why had he woken up in the first place? The sun was sneaking its way in through a slit by the door and should have lulled him into a deeper slumber.

Spike?

He jumped up, scanning the place for intruders. Then he remembered.

What, Slayer?

You don’t have to be so irritable, Her voice sounded ridiculously chipper and Spike wondered what she could possibly have to be happy about at this time of day. I thought you’d like to know what Giles found.

Did you wake me up?

I might’ve... Don’t you wanna know what he said?

Spike decided to shut up about his lack of sleep and hopped onto the sarcophagus again. He really hoped the reason for her perky tone was because the Watcher had solved their problem.

It is! the girl exclaimed, Giles said all we have to do is kill the demon and –

Already done. Ran into the ugly bugger last night and took him down.

Really?

Yep.

Great!

Now Spike couldn’t fight a grin. He never thought he’d heard her this happy. It suited her. She sounded so carefree... like a girl.

Giles said all it needs is to reach its breaking point and then it’ll go away.

Its breaking point? That didn’t sound good.

I dunno exactly what he meant. He could almost see her shrug. Something about this sharing thoughts thing going as far as it can.

As far as it could go? Why didn’t this seem as simple as it sounded?

He didn’t say what this... breaking point... might be?

Actually, he wasn’t sure. The book wasn’t that specific, but it can’t be too bad, right?

Right.

Spike didn’t really think everything would be that simple.

***

They didn’t speak more during the day; still she was always a presence in his mind. Even though he didn’t get any thoughts from her, she was... there. And he did not like it. He wished that bloody breaking point the Watcher had spoken about would come soon. He just wanted her... gone. It felt like having a visitor inside his head who he couldn’t get rid off. What if he thought the wrong thought and happened to send it to her by mistake? What if it led to her believing him to be even less trustworthy? And what was it that bitch in his dream had babbled about, ‘she is going to find out’? There was no doubt she meant the Slayer, but did the female mean the kill of that boy specifically or all the kills Spike had ever done? And if the Slayer found out, would she ever accept it? Spike sighed, before picking up a small stone and throwing it at the Slayer’s window.

She appeared in an instant, meeting his eyes for a brief second before opening the window and climbing out.

Hey. She greeted, a small smile accompanying the word. Ready?

She was actually bouncing, eyes twinkling of undisguised mirth and the energy was practically sparking off her. What reason in the world did she have to be so happy? Had she forgotten that they were waiting for the ‘breaking point’?

Nope, Her smile grew even wider. Happiness reasons are that this mind thing is going away and Mom and I had a good talk yesterday.

Sorry to burst your bubble, kitten, but these things always have consequences. He started to walk. This bloody breaking point your Watcher talked about... you never know what it is.

Spike almost regretted his words when all light in her eyes abruptly died. Her shoulders slumped, she hugged her arms around herself and she was again the girl he’d started getting to know these last weeks.

I know. Her voice was so low he barely heard her. I’m no that naïve, Spike, it just... it feels like forever since things at least seemed this good.

Hey, He hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder. What about your mum, then? Not a reason to be happy?

That brought back a hint of the smile back to her lips. But next moment her brow was suddenly wrinkling, before she glanced at him and her cheeks reddened slightly.

You don’t... like my mom, do you?

Like as in...

Like as in likeher.

It took him a moment to work out what exactly she meant, but then he shook his head rapidly.

God no – definitely not. He couldn’t help but grin a little. You’re worried mum is harbouring a crush on me?

No! Maybe. Do you think she is?

Spike opened his mouth in a silent chuckle and received a slap on his shoulder.

Don’t make fun of me.

He’d expected her tone to be a whining girl’s, but instead it was so calm he barely registered the underlying hurt.

I’m not, pet, really, But he couldn’t fight the return of his grin. And no, your mum definitely doesn’t look at me that way.

The thought of Joyce feeling... it was hilarious. The way she’d patted his hand and smiled, he suspected her feelings leaned more towards the motherly kind. When he saw the relieved look on the Slayer’s face, he had to bite back a new laughter.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. As they reached the first cemetery for the night, the Slayer took the lead. She didn’t walk in front of him as such, but Spike still didn’t doubt that he was the one following her. It didn’t bother him; rather he was quite pleased. The Slayer should never cede to anyone.

They hadn’t even seen a fledgling the high-pitched scream rang through the air. For a brief second their gazes clashed, then she took off and he followed without a second thought.

They were just in time to see Angelus let the dead girl slip from his grip to the ground. Dru was glued to the vampire’s side, licking her bloodstained lips.

Angelus smirked.

“Well, well, aren’t you a sight to behold?”

TBC

Chapter 14

The second Angelus’ voice pierced the air, the Slayer began to tremble. Spike could actually see the tremors shaking her body as her eyes grew wide.

“Beautiful night to kill evil things, isn’t it?” Angelus continued, “Or what do you say, Buff?”

When he addressed her, the girl hastily scrambled backward and she would’ve toppled over if Spike hadn’t taken hold of her shoulder. Angelus’ eyes sparkled and beside him Drusilla giggled, hanging on his black clad arm.

Out here there was no house to escape into and it seemed impossible to avoid a fight if that was what Angelus wanted. Spike could only hope his Sire wanted to inflict mental breakdown now.

Love?

“You know, I was just thinking about the two of you,” Angelus said, before taking on a sad tone, “Long time no see.”

Buffy?

Spike, I –

All of a sudden Drusilla took a step forward. Her eyes were slightly unfocused as she pointed an accusing finger at Spike. “You!” she said, “Digging your way into her, just as she...” The vampiress cried out as she slumped to the ground and buried her face in her hands.

Angelus ignored her, all his attention fixed on the Slayer. “I was thinking about paying you a visit, Buffy, just for old times’ sake,” he said, “But actually I think I like this better.”

He held the girl’s gaze and she stared back at him, a small whimper escaping her throat.

No, pet, Angelus feeds off fear. He couldn’t fight off the plea in his voice. Don’t let him get to you, Buffy!

Today had been the first time he’d ever seen her be anything close to cheerful. She’d made progress these weeks, started to stand up for herself. It wasn’t fair that Angelus could rob that off her in a second.

“Stun you speechless?” Angelus sounded honestly surprised. “Never known you to be the quiet one, William, you wouldn’t even shut up when I strung you up in those chains.”

Spike refused to let those memories forth. Instead he vamped out, baring his fangs in a soundless growl. Angelus rolled his eyes.

Swiftly coming to a decision, Spike grabbed the Slayer by the waist, roughly pulling her to him. They had to flee. There was no other way. He simply couldn’t risk a fight when she was in this state. Better try to escape and survive, than die now when she was nowhere near able to put up a good fight.

The girl stumbled a little as he dragged her to him and Drusilla murmured something unintelligible. First now she raised her face from her hands and her head rolled back.

Angelus didn’t seem to notice what happened to his Childe, he was too focused on Spike’s arm where it lay wrapped around the Slayer. “Don’t tell me you’re trying to put the moves on my women, again, Spike,” Angelus said, “You know that never –“

You bloody... Spike suppressed the voice in his head that told him to rip his Sire’s eyes out.

“Sunshine will let go,” Drusilla suddenly called out to the night sky. “Make her stop, make her stop!”

“What are you going on about, Dru?” Angelus growled, gripping his Childe’s wrist and hauling her to her feet.

Spike, on the other hand, took a step back, bringing the trembling Slayer with him. He recalled the name his ex had called the Slayer before he’d rescued her: Sunshine. What did Dru mean ‘let go’? Not die, right? Maybe she was just rambling for once without sense. God, he hoped so.

Spike? The girl’s head tilted back and wide, terrified eyes focused on him.

It’s alright, pet. His grip around her tightened for a second. We gotta make a run for it, okay?

He didn’t think she even considered questioning him.

“What’s wrong with you?” Angelus said, letting go of Drusilla as he took a step closer. Now he was just scarcely a metre away. “Why won’t you say anything?”

This was their chance. Drusilla was still lost in her own world, whimpering about sunshine, and Angelus was looking more and more perplexed.

Ready, love?

The only response was that the girl drew in a shaky breath. It had to be enough. Spike let go of her waist and gripped her left hand with his right instead, prepared to drag her with him when the right moment came. He hoped he could just get away as easily as he had that time in the motel room, even though he doubted he’d have such luck a second time. The chances that they would succeed were probably bigger if, as he hoped, his Sire didn’t feel like hunting them yet.

Suddenly a cruel grin split Angelus’ face.

“You’re looking a little nervous, Slayer, is that why –“

Quickly, Spike raised his free hand and took a swing at the older vamp.

Angelus blocked.

***

She saw Spike aim. She saw him block and grin. All the while her body refused to cooperate. She wanted to flee. She wanted to stake him. She wanted a thousand things and her body refused to obey to any of them.

I’m supposed to be the Slayer.

Spike looked up, his fist still caught in his grip and he frowned a little. In the end it was all her newly risen instinct to survive, combined with pure fear. Her fist rammed into his face. He flew backwards and she was running, dragging Spike with her.

She’d never run so fast in her life. Her lungs burned and her ragged breathing echoed in her ears. When Spike started to lag behind, she grasped his wrist instead and pulled with everything she had.

Buffy! Slow down!

The same words over and over again. But she couldn’t stop now. If she stopped he would catch up with her... in one way or another.

At last Spike tugged hard on her, making her stumble and fall. It wasn’t until she lay on the wet ground that she realized how tired her body was. Before she managed to force herself up, his face was before her. She hadn’t gotten away.

Hush, love, it’s alright. A heavy hand on her shoulder rolled her over. He’s not here, kitten, Angelus is not here.

The tremors started anew and he came closer. A cold hand ghosted down her side. No, no, no.

Let me be! Please!

Buffy?

A part of her knew what was happening. A part of her was looking on from above and putting the pieces together. It remembered the time when he had showed up in front of her house. It wondered why this was happening now and tried to focus. It tried to stop it when she retreated inside herself. It failed.

She opened up, became swallowed, and she far away heard Spike cry out in pain.

The walls started to tumble down and suddenly she was bathing in a sea of pain. A scream rang in her ears; her own. Desperately gasping for air, she felt how all barriers fell away. She lay open and bare. But not alone; the presence inside her mind was not gone. It took her a moment before she remembered who it was. Spike.

Her eyes rolled back in her head with the next burst of pain; all her muscles cramped and she tasted blood. For a second she attempted to focus so she could send a thought to him, before she realized how ridiculous that was. He already knew. She could feel his struggle, how he tried to shut his mind from her. It was pointless.

”Oh Willie, you didn’t think you’d be good enough for her, did you?” Angelus leered, pressing his body up against... theirs. They leaned their head against the wall, forcing the least swollen eye to open.

“Oh yeah?” they said, “Then why was Dru –“

They were broken off when their t-shirt was ripped open. Something spilled down their chest and their jaw clenched. It felt like they were on fire. Holy water.

Buffy’s back arched and her head rolled to the side. Spike was melting against her mind, very clearly against his will. He was hurting too, hurting and fighting. She didn’t even attempt to put up a struggle, didn’t have the strength. Let it come. She was… he was… They were...

Buffy, it’s time for your medication,” a blonde girl said, offering them two white pills that they automatically brought to their mouth.

They didn’t see the girl’s face. She was just one of the brigade of white-clad figures. The only face they ever saw in front of them these days was their mother’s, and hers they didn’t want to see.

“How are you feeling today, Buffy?”

“Leave. Me. Alone.”

***

They could see their prey. The middle-aged woman’s brown hair trailed down her back and the tight dress clung to her curves. The sound of her pounding heart was all they heard. It pumped the blood through her veins, called them to her. They growled.

It seemed like she could sense them coming; she picked up her pace and glanced over her shoulder. They drew in a deep breath; drew in the smell of her fear. Soon.

That bloody bitch had known exactly what she was talking about. Spike snarled, trying to clamber to his hands and knees. He almost fell over when a new stab of pain went through him. Well, if she’d known so well what this was all about, why the hell hadn’t she told him? Could have given him a hint more than those ridiculous cryptic things; ‘explosion’ and ‘make sure you rock her world’.

They gripped the stake harder. The vampire leered at them, showing off its fangs. They swallowed hard. Even though they knew Merrick wasn’t far away, that he’d be there the second they called, their heart still hammered in their chest. Because they had a feeling it didn’t matter if the Watcher was there, in the end, it wouldn’t be much he could do. They were the Slayer, not he.

Next second the vampire took a step closer and they automatically fell into a fighting stance. This had gone fine the other night, right? They could do it again. Push the stake through the heart. No big deal.

“Out all alone, little girl?” the vampire said.

God, that had to be lamest line ever. They rolled their eyes.

She was so close; he was sure that any second now, her mind would merge together with his. Or maybe not, maybe they would stay like this forever – exchange thoughts and memories until… she knew everything about him. She’d want nothing to do with him then, that he was sure of. All the people he’d killed, it went against everything the Slayer stood for. She couldn’t find out.

She was just a couple of metres away, but it felt like miles. He tried to rise to his feet as his muscles screamed out with every move he made and he couldn’t keep his balance. Instead, his eyes focused on the girl and he began a slow crawl towards her.

She couldn’t know.

”My William,” Drusilla nipped lightly at their lips. “My Spike.”

Gently she stroked their chest, only to bury her nails in their flesh next moment. This was one of her favourite games, and they endured it because they loved her. They had a feeling though, that this would have been at least a little bit more fun, if she’d come just once when she wasn’t reeking of Angelus.

Drusilla’s hand trailed lower, gripping their soft cock. Cooing, she rubbed her cheek against their shoulder.

“Does my William not want his mummy?”

They could feel themself harden in her grip, almost against their will. Forcing a grin, they flipped her under them.

“Course I do, love,” they said.

No! Spike reached the Slayer, Buffy, just as his body couldn’t hold itself up anymore. It didn’t matter now; he was close enough to touch her. Then it occurred to him that he had no idea what to do to stop this. His sight was a little blurry and all he could make out from her expression was pain. He couldn’t even be sure if he actually saw she was hurting or if he was seeing it because he felt it… them, felt their pain.

Her warmth was overhelming when he was this close, strange. Spike could hear her heart hammering too and when her hand flexed the fingers brushed his knee. A new flash of pain went through him and he howled, his gaze suddenly fixed on the white skin of her throat.

She couldn’t know.

With one last effort he pulled her a little closer. He pushed himself up on shaking arms, but didn’t manage to bear his weight and he collapsed again, half on top of her this time. Her smell was sweet, so sweet... He licked her throat once, and her skin tasted sweet too. She couldn’t know. When the next burst of pain rushed through him, he sank his fangs into her neck.

Her heart accelerated and she tensed beneath him. For a moment Spike had Angelus’ face on his retina. She was thinking of his Sire. The thought angered him in two ways, and a deep growl rumbled through his chest. Whimpering softly, she shifted, but made no move to push him away. The taste of her blood made him wish he could stay like this forever. Without thinking, he reached up to stroke her hair.

His eyes rolled back in his head as he swallowed another mouthful of her blood and clutched her tighter against him. Could this go on and on for eternity? But she’d die. The thought entered the back of Spike’s mind and his whole being rebelled. No, she couldn’t die. The question of what he could do to stop it floated in his head for a second, and then it vanished.

Now was all that mattered.

A couple of more gulps of ambrosia were savoured and Spike slowly became aware of that his fangs were in someone’s neck. Hadn’t he been running from Angelus a minute ago?

Spike?

His eyes shot open. His mouth was filled with Slayer blood, Buffy’s blood. Her racing heartbeat was pounding in his ears. He had to stop himself from following his instincts and throw himself backwards, or he’d rip her throat open. Closing his eyes again, he carefully slid his fangs out of her skin.

What if he had killed her? The revenge. All his plans would’ve been destroyed. She had gone completely still beneath him, but just as he prepared to pull away, her arms suddenly wrapped around him. It was the last thing he’d expected and it was his turn to tense for a second, before he pulled himself together and pulled her to him. Soon the scent of her tears reached him.

“’m sorry,” he said.

“Angelus,” she breathed, “We have to get away, running…”

Abruptly she tried to push him off her, her head whipping from side to side as she succeeded; searching for an attacker. Spike refused to move and took her face between his hands.

“No,” he said, looking her straight in the eye, “Angelus never came after us, he just stood laughing.”

She stilled, her hands resting on his shoulders. “He didn’t?”

“No.”

When she slowly started to relax a little, Spike got to his feet, groaning a little as his stiff muscles protested. At least the pain had disappeared. He took her hand and she stood up too, wincing a little.

Then she lifted her head and met his gaze.

TBC

Chapter 15

For a moment they just stared at each other. Then Buffy felt her eyes well with tears again and she couldn’t help but glance around once more. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, trying to force herself to relax.

Nothing happened. Nothing happened. Nothing happened.

But something had happened, and she didn’t succeed to lie to herself. When she opened her eyes again, Spike’s eyes were fixed on her neck. Quickly she put a hand against the wound, realizing that blood was still oozing from it. Fumbling a little, she reached into the pocket of her jacket in search of something to press against the bleeding.

“I’m sorry,” Spike said again, glancing down with visible effort.

Buffy stilled. “I really don’t know what to say.”

She hadn’t found anything useful in any of her pockets and considered ripping her shirt; she really didn’t feel like being the open snack bar of the cemetrery. Spike took a step closer, running a hand through his hair.

”I can,” he said, “If you want me to... I mean, neither of us seems to have a first-aid kit in our pocket so...”

What did he mean? She got the answer a second later when he stepped closer, so close she could feel his breath in her face. He met her gaze briefly, then his mouth descended to her neck again.

“What’re you doing?!” Roughly, she pushed him away, and he stumbled a little, but at the same time a big grin spread over his lips. She ignored him and reached up to touch her wound, only to find that it had ceased to bleed.

“Closing the wound,” Spike answered, still grinning like an idiot.

“Why are you smiling like that?”

“You pushed me away.”

Shutting her eyes tightly, she dragged both hands through her hair. When she looked up again a concerned frown was lining his forehead.

“I wouldn’t harm you,” he said, an almost desperate tone in his voice.

She looked away, wrapping her arms tightly around herself.

“I...” Carefully, he lay a hand on her shoulder. “Love, we should talk.”

***

They ended up on the back porch of the Slayer’s house. The short walk there had been made in a choking silence, but he had almost been able to see the wheels running in her head. Now her hammering heartbeat was echoing in his ears as he sat beside her.

It had been a pure instinct. He’d been ready to do whatever in his power to assure her he wouldn’t hurt her. The look on her face after he’d closed the wound had petrified him. He was surprised that she hadn’t fled headalong.

“Slayer.”

The sound of his voice made her flinch. Christ, what if he couldn’t convince her that he wouldn’t hurt her? Angelus’ smirking face flashed before him. He had to convince her.
Before he had time to say anything he heard her draw in a deep breath and then she turned towards him completely.

When her eyes met his he didn’t see the fear he’d expected. In its place was pure confusion. It made him swallow back whatever he had thought to say.

“What did he do to you?”

There was no hesitation in her voice as she asked. Instead a slight look of determination mixed itself with the confusion and she held his gaze.

When she had asked it was suddenly obvious that this would be her question. Of course, what else? Spike glanced away. After her seeing those memories it would have been more odd if she hadn’t said anything. God, wasn’t this hilarious?! Even if he decided not to tell her anything, it probably wouldn’t be long until she put two and two together. He shifted in his seat, then stood and took a couple of steps away.

Next moment he spun around again. “Alright, you want the grand story of my life?” he said, looking her straight in the eye, “Angelus was my Sire. Drusilla was the supposed love of my unlife. Angelus disliked me violently. I went away. The end.”

The Slayer blinked. “If Drusilla was the love of your life, why did you leave because he didn’t like you?”

“Because I wasn’t the love of her life.” Spikce chuckled bitterly.”She belonged to her precious daddy.”

“Daddy?” The girl grimaced. “That’s gross.”

“Her Sire. My Sire. Angelus.”

“Oh.” She blinked anew. “Why do I think you just skipped through a bunch of important stuff?”

Spike sighed deeply and sank down beside her again, burying his face in his hands.

Perhaps telling about his life would help her trust him. Perhaps it would help her to understand she wasn’t the only one who had suffered by Angelus’ hands. Perhaps it would convince her that he wouldn’t harm her.

“You want the long version, Slayer?” Spike asked, raising his head, “The one with all the pretty details?”

“Yes.”

No hesitation, not even a blink.

Digging into his pocket, he fished up a cigarette and put it between his lips. His hand trembled a little when he lit it. “Right. I was turned in 1880, but guess you knew that.” He breathed out the smoke and grinned a little at her confirming nod. “I would’ve bet the Watcher fed you the basics. Dru was the one who did the actual turning, but she’s too insane to take on a Childe.”

“So he...?” The Slayer trailed off, but still kept her eyes on him. There was something strangely comforting about it.

“Yeah,” Spike said, taking another drag, “Angelus took the Sire role upon himself. Not happily though and since I’m not exactly a follower...” He offered a crooked smile.

”When, will you get this through your thick skull Willie?!”

A deep chuckle rumbled through Spike’s chest and he received another kick in the ribs, making him clutch his stomach. It didn’t stop the laughter though and Angelus growled.

“You think this is funny, Spike?!” The bigger vampire grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and lifted him up. “What is it that’s so damn funny?!”

“You!” Spike managed to gasp forth, not even attempting to stop. “Worrying about sodding humans!”

A roar, then he flew across the room, hitting a table. Next moment his Sire was upon him, straddling his chest and holding him down. Spike felt the blood trickle down his cheek.

“Mostly it ended with torture, and many times...” Spike ended the sentence with a shake of his head.

“How...” It was a meagre whisper and Spike turned to see her biting her bottom lip with a strange look in her eyes.

“How what, love?”

“How can you talk about it like that?” she asked, “Some torture...”

“You have to remember that I’m a vampire, love. Pain is a natural way for Sires to keep their Childes in line, even if mine was unusually... Violence and blood, it’s all a part of the vamp package.”

“Are you saying you... got off on him hurting you?”

Spike tapped his fingers against his thigh, raising his cigarette to his lips only to find it had turned into a column of ash. Without a second glance he threw it to the ground.

“You remember when Angelus threw holy water on us... me?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yes,” she whispered and he could almost see the memory flashing through her mind.

“We,” He shook his head. “I. I didn’t like that, did I?”

“No.”

“Anyway, the torture wasn’t so bad if you compare it to his and Dru’s...” He wet his lips and forced a smirk. “At times I really did believe she loved me, even though I knew I was only second best. She would do anything for Angelus and I mean anything,” he let out a bitter laugh, “We had our good times, even the three of us, but in the end... it was all about him. Dru may have loved me sometimes... in her own crazy way... but to her – he was the one.”

She was dressed in red tonight, lying on the table with her hair spread like a fan around her head. Spike smirked, placing a hand on her stomach. A small smile spread on her lips and her fingers curled around his.

“Daddy promised me a hunt tonight, my Spike,” she said.

Abruptly Spike pulled his hand back, but she didn’t even seem to notice. Her eyes was sparkling as she turned her head towards him. “He promised me this sweetest little girl I saw last night,” she said dreamly.

“Why do you always, bloody always have to go on about him!”

“I do not.” She pouted and made a low, cooing sound. “My Spike doesn’t like being the second.”

“Bleedin’ right I don’t! What the hell do you...”

He didn’t complete the sentence. Pointless. This was all pointless.

If he closed his eyes and thought of Drusilla nowadays, he always associated her with Angelus. The smell of his Sire had always lingered on her.

“So she really did do that?” the Slayer asked in a quiet voice, “Go from... his bed to yours.”

“I can’t count the times. In the beginning I was patient, I thought if I was just good enough she’d stop going to Angelus. But, well, let’s just say that never happened.”

“Did this just go on for years? With him torturing you and your girlfriend cheating on you?” She sounded sickened.

“Pretty much,” he murmured, before clearing his throat, “She was my saviour, I couldn’t stop hoping she’d leave him eventually.” Crazy; how foolish he had been. “Anyway, I did leave several times – once I was gone a couple of years – but I always came back.”

And Drusilla welcomed him with open arms and even if Angelus didn’t pat him on the back and greeted him with a huge smile, he never forced him away. It had been that feeling of belonging that had made him go back, Spike had realized afterwards. That desperate longing for not being alone. The Slayer didn’t need to know that though.

“So...” the girl said, “What made you decide to leave for good?”

“I and Angelus got into a massive fight.”

The bigger vampire picked him up and threw him into the wall. Gasping, Spike fell to the ground. The sound of giggling echoed around the place.

“Not so tough now, are you?” Angelus grabbed him by the lapels of his duster and lifted him up. “Pretty coat you’ve got here, Willie. Tell me, did you ask the Slayer to give it to you?”

“It went on for hours, ending with him draining me.”

Spike closed his eyes again. Drusilla’s laughter still rang in his ears when he thought back to that day.

“I’m not sure what happened,” he said, “Before that I had promised myself that this was it.”

He still remembered when he’d killed that Slayer in China. The way the vampiress’ eyes had glittered as she saw what he’d done. She’d been happy with him. If just for a couple of hours. Maybe taking out a second would finally give him her love. Even as Spike thought the thought, he almost laughed. Like that would ever happen. Dru belonged to her precious daddy, he knew that. But it simply wasn’t in him to give up easily. Nor was it in him to be alone. He supposed that was the real reason for why he’d stayed with them for so long.

Last try.

There was a Slayer in this town.

“The last try. And it was.”

He’d thought he’d done all right. So why was he lying on the ground with pain burning in his body? Some part of him had honestly thought she’d take him back. Deep inside though, he was a realist and he knew that he shouldn’t be surprised at how it had worked out.

Groaning, he sat up, flinching at the pain every move caused. His memory was a little fuzzy, but he could still see her face clear in front of him; tittering as Angelus’ voice washed over him. “Did you think bagging another Slayer would make you one of us?” A leer. “William, William, you’ll never learn.”

Oh yes, he would. He had.

Spike forced himself to stand, despite his shaking and protesting legs. Half walking, half stumbling, he crossed the room and picked up his duster from the floor. A symbol of power. Of freedom.

“I walked out of the house and never returned,” Spike said.

He didn’t look up at her, just listened to her steady heartbeat and soft breathing. For long seconds heavy silence filled the air.

“That’s it, Slayer,” he said at last, shifting a little, “The whole pretty tale in a shortened version.”

“That’s...”

She just stared at him for a moment, then she suddenly reached out and placed a hand on his knee. “Thank you. For telling me.”

“You’re welcome.”

TBC

Chapter 16

It hadn’t taken long before her heartbeat had slowed its steady rhythm, telling him that she was fast asleep. It surprised him. He would’ve expected her to lie awake, pondering over the events that had happened tonight, but then again, she was probably exhausted. They hadn’t said very much after he’d told his story, no more than agreeing on patrolling together the next night. He was so happy she hadn’t backed out.

He’d thought the Slayer would be more spooked over everything. After that moment in the cemetery when he’d closed the wound, she’d just become calmer, more relaxed, with him. Maybe, maybe she did trust him. Maybe she would soon be ready to take on Angelus. The latter was just wishful thinking, but he still couldn’t help but hope. Spike wanted it all over with. Sighing, he stood.

Walking across the yard so he could take a look at the Slayer’s window, he smiled a little. She’d actually hit Angelus tonight. Even if the whole meeting seemed to have been a disappointment, there was still that. He definitely took it as a step closer to the light, literally speaking of course.

“Goodnight, Slayer,” he said, turning around and heading towards his crypt.

He had hated speaking of the past, but he supposed he should have guessed it would rear its ugly head. Even if they hadn’t shared their memories tonight, she would probably have asked about it sooner or later anyway. The memories were still painful and even though he felt like he’d moved beyond it, he couldn’t let it go. His dream girl encouraged those thoughts. He still remembered the first dream, over six months ago.

”Hello, William.”

A female stood around teen feet away. Her face was covered by darkness, but still he’d no doubt that she was staring at him. He didn’t like it. A low growl rumbled through his chest and he flashed her some fang. The female didn’t even seem to notice as she took a step forward.

“I know what you want,” she said.

That made Spike laugh and he shook his head in disbelief. There was no way that she could have a clue about what he wanted. Deciding to ignore her, he turned his back on her and took in his surroundings. There were none. Nothing. Black void surrounded them.

“I know the one who will help you.”

He refused to listen to her and turned around, searching the darkness with his eyes for some kind of light, a small star, a sparkle. Anything. Suddenly a small hand was placed on his shoulder and he flinched, fighting an impulse to run for his life.

“Tell me, William,” The voice was suddenly scarily close to his ear. “Don’t you want to kill them?”

He’d woken up gasping that night.

Spike gave a small chuckle, so many dreams had followed that one, would she even leave him alone after he’d taken his revenge? Then he frowned. What if she didn’t? He sure as hell didn’t want to have her lurking in his head for the rest of his existence. She had to disappear – along with the Slayer.

***

There was a girl leaning against her locker. She was short, dressed in a black shirt and black jeans and her hair was cut above her shoulder. She didn’t look older than seventeen, but there was something about the way she rested against the locker, with her hands buried in the pockets of her jeans and eyes closed. If sunlight hadn’t been shining in through the windows, Buffy would’ve thought the girl was a vampire.

Hesitation in her step, Buffy walked closer. When she was just a foot or so away, she coughed a little. With a slow, lazy movement the strange girl tilted her head to the side and looked at the Slayer, who just wished the ground would open up and swallow her. It wasn’t often she wished she was… well, more somehow, but right now she couldn’t help but glance down at her boring white top and wish she’d worn anything else.

The girl didn’t look at her top though. She was staring into her eyes, a smirk playing on her lips. Buffy cleared her throat, clutching her books tighter against her chest.

“Um... that’s my locker,” Buffy said.

A flicker of surprise in the girl’s eyes and, ridiculously enough, Buffy felt herself stand a little straighter.

“Right,” the girl said, stepping aside to lean against the next locker instead.

Glancing at the brunette out of the corner of her eye, Buffy fumbled with the combination lock before she managed to open it. Her movements were clumsy when she pushed the books in and she felt a blush creep up her cheeks. A slight chuckle from beside her.

“You need help with that?”

“Eh... no. No thanks.” At last Buffy just forced the books in and slammed the door shut. The girl gave a whistle when the whole locker rocked and the Slayer drew in a deep breath. All she wanted was to run away for some reason. Why? This was just another girl. She was the Slayer. She’d dusted hundreds of vampires; she was perfectly capable of walking away from a girl at a slow pace. She hadn’t taken more than a couple of steps when a hand on her shoulder halted her. A hand with slovenly-painted red nails.

“Hey, maybe you can help me find my classroom?”

Slowly Buffy turned around and the hand let go. The black-haired girl was smiling a little sheepishly at her. She was new here. Of course! Otherwise I’d have seen her before! Shaking her head at herself, Buffy found herself smiling back.

“Sure. Can I see your schedule?”

It was handed to her and Buffy could immediately tell where the room lay. The relief on the girl’s face after she’d explained the easy directions almost made her giggle.

“You think it’s funny my sense of direction sucks?” the girl said, raising her eyebrows.

Buffy’s breath caught in her throat and she found that she really didn’t want to offend the girl. Hastily she opened her mouth to apologize and noticed the mirth sparkling in the grey eyes meeting hers. Without thinking, the Slayer rolled her eyes and the sparkling turned into a short peal of laughter.

The laughter abruptly made the girl completely human. Suddenly Buffy saw that she was not perfect; she was too skinny and her mouth a little too large for her face. Just a new student.

When the laughter died, she offered her hand.

“I’m Buffy.”

Fingers with red-painted nails curled around hers.

“Alex.”

***

To say that Giles was fascinated was an understatement. He was acting as if the President had painted the moon pink.

“So, you shared memories, you say?” Giles said.

Buffy would probably have found his interest funny, if this wasn’t the third time he’d asked the same question. She sighed. “Yes. Again. Mega pain and memories, then we have our voices back.”

In fact, Giles hadn’t even scolded her for patrolling with Spike, but she supposed that would come when he was over his fascination. Not like she’d get any reward for being patient with the intrigued Watcher.

“And you can’t recall the memories?” he asked, “Not anything at all?”

“I told you, they were just flashes,” she said, looking down for a moment.

She didn’t want to tell him about them. The memories and her talk with Spike – it was private. Not something for her Watcher to study, and she was sure the vampire would agree. She was certain he didn’t want her to tell the world; it was something he’d confided to her alone.

“I find is quite remarkable,” Giles said.

Oh, really?

“I never would’ve thought breaking point meant...” Suddenly the man stood and began walking towards the office, calling over his shoulder, “If you’ll excuse me.”

“What?” Buffy rose to her feet as well. “What’re you gonna do?”

Giles was already inside his office and he only poked his head outside the door long enough to say three words.

“Research, of course.”

With a grimace, Buffy picked up her bag and headed for the doors, only to stop when Giles called her name.

“What now?” she asked, turning her head with one hand on the door.

“That nice boy, who you were talking to a couple of days ago,” Giles smiled a little. “He asked for you earlier today.”

Owen had asked for her? After she’d run away from him with another guy, she wouldn’t have thought him to so much as look at her again. Especially after their date had been so awkward.

“So what did he say?” Buffy asked casually.

“He just asked if I had seen you here today, and I said that I hadn’t.” With that Giles vanished back into his office.

Slowly Buffy walked out of the library and started towards the exit. She didn’t have anymore lessons that day and she really wanted to spend some time with her mother. The confusion on her mom’s face this morning when Buffy suddenly could speak again had been amusing. The woman had shaken her head and asked for an explanation. When Buffy said she couldn’t give her any until she’d spoken to Giles, her mom had nodded and finished her coffee. Her mother’s calm acceptance was one of the greatest gifts Buffy had ever had gained.

Now, slowly walking along the corridor, she wondered if she should tell mom about her patrolling with Spike tonight. She definitely didn’t want to tell Giles about it, but it felt good sharing stuff with her mom after their previous conversation. But on the other hand she really didn’t want Joyce to sit up half the night worrying.

Buffy broke off her train of thought as Willow came into sight, carrying two large books in her arms.

“H-hi, Buffy,” the redhead said, then swallowed.

“Hey.”

Then there was an uncomfortable silence. And out of nowhere Buffy realized that she had nothing to say. So she just nodded at the other girl and then walked past her, out into the sunshine.

TBC

Chapter 17

“There was a new girl at school today,” Buffy said, throwing a glance at the vampire out of the corner of an eye.

He smiled a little. “Yeah?” he said, “New best friend?”

“No... but I think I like her. I think I really like her.” She looked down at the ground, burying her hands in the pockets of her jacket.

The people in school hadn’t exactly been avoiding her since she came back. Before him she’d already been classed as “Buffy the Freak”, after that incident with Cordelia at the Bronze. The look in the girl’s eyes when she’d pushed her up against the wall, stake raised... Buffy felt a grin tickle the corners of her mouth, but it melted away just as quickly. When she’d returned to school she had just wanted to be left alone, Xander and Willow being the only exceptions. She couldn’t stand the pity she saw in everyone’s eyes.

“Deep thoughts, love?”

Buffy jumped a little.

“Nah,” she mumbled, “I was just thinking about... nothing.”

“Huh. Nothing you say.” Suddenly Spike’s eyes sparkled. “Wanna do something to take your mind off ‘nothing’?” He winked at her.

Buffy just stared. There was no way he was saying what she thought he was saying, or were her thoughts totally running away? And how come she had been around him so long and no one –

“Hello?! You. Me. Sparring?” The vampire arched an eyebrow.

Shrugging and then giving a small nod, she tried to play it cool. Spike’s smirk told her she failed dismally and she felt a blush creep up her cheeks. The smirk widened and she could almost see the comment ready on his lips. Before it could find voice she threw the first punch. It had been a good hit and a small sprinkle of blood trickled down the vampire’s face

“Okay,” she said.

He raised his eyes to hers slowly, almost lazily wiping the blood from his face. “Right. That settles it,” he said, “No playing this time.”

Next second Buffy was on the ground. Blinking, she was met by a pair of sparkling blue eyes. The blue seemed darker than usual and she blinked again. Suddenly she noticed the iron grip he’d locked her wrists in.

“This time, Slayer, this is a real fight.” He growled and for a moment she could swear she saw his bumpies emerging.

“Yeah?” she said, grinning, “I think you’re all talk.”

Her heart was pumping so fast it felt like it was going to burst through her chest, but it was pure adrenaline that had it racing. There was no fear. Last night Spike had had his fangs in her neck and she was still alive. She had no reason to feel fear.

She bucked beneath him, trying and failing in getting him off her. Laughter in the blue eyes and then the grip around her wrists eased a little. Immediately she knew he was doing it on purpose, he probably didn’t want this to be over before it started, or maybe he just wanted to give her a more of a fair chance. Whatever the reason was, she really didn’t give a damn. Easily wrenching her hands free she threw him off her. Rolling to her side, she sprang to her feet just in time to see him rise as well.

Watching him so completely focused on her, joy of the fight in his eyes, she wondered how long it would take before she could beat him. How long it would take for her to be ready to fight him. Spike was so good; she remembered the ease with which he’d taken her down with last time. Would it take years for her to be as strong as he? After all, he’d killed two Slayers before, that had to mean he wasn’t the average century-old vamp.

Right now she didn’t have time to dwell upon it, the object of her thoughts was coming at her again. She barely managed to parry his left hook, and half a second later his right fist sent her flying. Her head hit something, hard, and it swam with dizziness. Resting her hand against whatever she’d hit, it was all she could do to stay on her feet. Blinking desperately, she tried to gain focus.

“A vamp could kill you now, you know.” Spike’s voice was right behind her and two white hands gripped her shoulders and spun her around. “No one else but –“

She head butted him and he stumbled backwards. Her sight was still a little blurry as she hauled up her stake, but it was clearing by the second. She saw Spike’s eyes zeroing in on the piece of wood, and then he grinned. Buffy grinned back.

***

There was no doubt in his mind that she absolutely loved this. She was bloody gorgeous – stake raised, a few loose strands of blonde locks framing her face, and eyes glittering as a smile played on her lips. Her breasts were heaving and the sound of her pounding heart was music to his ears. He could feel himself grow hard.

Since when did he think she was gorgeous? Spike stopped dead in his tracks and received a solid punch in the face. Right. Not the time to think about that. He saw her aim for him again and caught her fist in mid air, twirling her around and locking her arm behind her back. His eyes were drawn to the bite mark on her neck. The wound had almost disappeared and he wasn’t sure if it would even scar; the punctures had been neat and with her Slayer healing they would probably be gone soon. He felt a sting of disappointment.

It was forgotten when she elbowed him with her free arm. It didn’t hurt that much, but it was enough to make him loose his grip and for her to pull free. She spun around and the next moment she punched him in the nose.

“Bloody hell!” he shouted, holding a hand to his face.

Him cursing only made her grin return. Another blow backed him up against a tree. She raised the stake, her gaze focused on his chest and she paused. Spike didn’t. His hand shot up and twisted her wrist to make her drop the stake.

***

How was she ever supposed to win this? She thought she’d been in control, but it wasn’t like she could stake him to prove she’d won. Maybe a neat little touch to his chest to just say “If this was the real thing you’d be dead now”, but she never had time to do that.

Her back was pressed up against the tree and he grinned wildly at her. She made one attempt to break free, but he tightened his grip around her upper arms. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she stared up at him. Slowly, finger by finger, he let go of her right arm and raised his hand to touch her face. The first brush of his rough fingertips against her skin was hesitant, but then he cupped her cheek.

“Slayer,” he murmured, his breath cool against her lips.

He stepped closer, so close she could their bodies touch. It made her swallow. There was no forgetting of the feeling of a male body pressed against hers. The soft touch of his fingers was lost when she felt his erection press into her stomach. Closing her eyes, his face flashed before her.

Her eyes flew open.

Roughly she shoved him away and he stumbled backwards. The feeling of his skin sliding against hers. His nails digging into her hips.

“Buffy. No.”

Hands grabbed her shoulders and she raised her eyes. Pretty blue. She began shaking her head. No. No. No.

“I’m not,” she mumbled, “I’m here. I’m here. I’m here.”

“Yes. You’re here. He can’t touch you.”

Her gaze locked with his. “He can’t touch me.”

“No.”

Slowly she looked down at her hands and saw them tremble. Hastily she turned her back to the vampire and the weight of his hands was gone. Hugging herself, she stared out into the darkness.

Seconds went by.

“Why does this happen to me, Spike?” she whispered, “The instant something reminds me of... it’s like a part of me just shuts down.”

She heard movement and then he was in front of her, cupping her chin and tilting her head up so she looked at him. “Listen to me, Slayer,” he said, “There’s nothing wrong with your reaction, not after... I... I shouldn’t have touched you like that.”

“I want to go home,” she whispered.

His hand dropped.

“Sure, love.”

***

The silence while they walked back to her house in reminded Spike of yesterday. It was choking and the thoughts were racing through his mind. He wondered what she was thinking. He wondered what would’ve happened if she hadn’t pushed him away. The fight had been bloody great; she’d seemed at ease and she’d fought better than ever.

Would he have kissed her?

She was the Slayer, all he wanted with her was help to get the revenge, so he could go on with his life and if – yes.

He would have.

Looking at her now as she stared up at her bedroom window, he found himself at total loss of what to say. She still had her arms wrapped around her small form, but her expression was empty.

“Do you think it’ll always be like this?”

The softly spoken words startled him, making him turn towards her completely.

“What do you mean?” he asked, frowning a little.

She swallowed hard. “I don’t want anyone to touch me,” she whispered, “People I know... that’s okay or if I start the... touching. But I shudder just to think of... anyone else’s hands on me.”

“It’s normal, pet.” He smiled a little. “What you’ve been through... There’s nothing strange about how you feel.”

She looked up at him then, tightening her arms around herself. “Really? You think it’ll pass?”

“Maybe never completely,” he said and her face fell, “But hey, you let me hit you several times today.”

“I would’ve won!” she said, scowling at him, “If you hadn’t cheated.”

“Cheating? Me?!” He put on such a look of innocence that she had to stifle a giggle. “Like I’d ever do that!”

She gave him her best ‘give me a break’ look. It made Spike grin.

“Actually I didn’t cheat,” he said, “You’re just too –“

“Oh, shut up.”

TBC

Chapter 18

A dark figure stepped out from behind a tree and her Slayer tingles made themselves known. Buffy hauled up her stake. One more, then she’d call it a night. The vampire took a step forward.

Tremors started to shake her body and the stake shattered to the ground loudly.

“Hello Buff,” he grinned, “Missed me?”

A flash of bright light, then she was backed up against the tree. His face was inches away, a cold hand glided down her side slowly. A helpless whimper tore through her throat and he laughed. Next second his body had hers pinned to the tree. She couldn’t move. No, no, no.


“Buffy!”


With a gasp, Buffy shot upright in bed.

“Buffy! Are you up?”

Throwing a quick glance around the room, Buffy called back.

“Yes, mom!”

Lying back in bed she let out a deep breath and closed her eyes. Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream…

***

Spike was lying on the sarcophagus, staring up in the stone ceiling. During the hour he’d been doing this, he’d managed to come to two decisions. Number one; he definitely needed a bed. Number two; he needed to stop thinking about the Slayer.

Bugger.

Suppressing a groan he sat up and dragged a hand through his hair. This needed to stop right now. It had been better when he hadn’t even like her. When he didn’t feel her skin beneath his fingertips every time he closed his eyes.

Tomorrow was a new day. Tomorrow he had two things to accomplish. Number one; get a bed. Number two; get over thinking about the Slayer.

***

Buffy was sitting outside the school during lunch, when Alex showed up again. Just walked up to her and planted herself down on her left side. The girl sat with her legs outstretched, head tilted back a fraction so the sun would shine on her face. Buffy felt a smile tickle the corners of her mouth; the brunette was so pale, she couldn’t imagine her getting a suntan.

“Yeah, yeah, you just laugh,” Alex said, throwing a glance Buffy’s way, “I can enjoy the sun even if my skin refuses to agree with me.”

“I just hope you don’t get burned,” Buffy said.

Her only answer was a shrug and then Alex closed her eyes. Buffy slowly turned her hands in her lap, thinking back to the dream she’d had. It had been a couple of weeks since she’d dreamt about him. There had been a time when she’d woken up gasping and trembling every single night. She knew what had triggered this dream. The feeling of Spike touching her cheek, of him pressing up against her, cornering her... and would she always react like that? A guy touched her and she wanted to flee? When she had danced with Owen that night she’d flinched just because he put his hands on her waist. God, Owen. She was so happy she hadn’t run into him again; the next meeting would either be her brushing him off, or him… she didn’t know. Since Giles’ had told her the boy had asked for her, she just couldn’t figure out what he would want with her.

“What are you thinking about?”

Buffy startled, looking over at Alex. The girl’s eyes were still shut.

“Nothing really,” Buffy shifted in her seat. “What were you thinking about?”

“My mother.” As if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Something in the girl’s tone made Buffy refrain from asking more.

“I was thinking about a guy,” she heard herself saying, then almost grinned; it sounded so girlish, “That’d even be ‘guys’ actually. Plural.”

“Yeah?” A hint of the smirk returned. “Are they worth thinking of?”

Were they? Owen, definitely not. She and him were too different, she doubted they would even be able to become friends. Spike? He definitely didn’t strike her as the perfect dating material; a soulless vampire who’d killed two Slayers. He deserved some ‘thinking’ though, after all he’d saved her from him, helped her patrol and sparred with her... for his own selfish reasons... but still. She liked to think they’d become... what exactly? Friends? Patrol-buddies?

“Ah – I know that look.”

Buffy turned to Alex again.

“Trouble,” the other girl clarified, “He doesn’t like you? Hasn’t noticed you? Or is it some unspeakable force keeping you apart?”

“I’m not… It’s an unspeakable force.”

Just as Alex was going to reply Buffy noticed Giles heading towards them, a small wrinkle marring his forehead. In a couple of seconds he’d reached them.

“I need to talk with you, Buffy,” he said, then he glanced at the brunette beside her, “It’s about the things we discussed yesterday.”

“Oh. Right,” Hastily, Buffy stood, looking at Alex she said; “I have to go, sorry.”

“No problem.” She had already closed her eyes for the sunshine caressing her face.

***

When they entered the library Giles’ immediately disappeared into his office. When he returned half a minute later he was carrying two leather-bound books. He walked up to the table in the centre and placed both of them on it, opening one. All the while Buffy stood in front of the closed doors, following his moves with a growing worry. As he sat by the table, he looked up at her, surprise in his eyes.

“Buffy?”

Slowly she moved towards him. “What is it?” she asked, “What did you find?”

Giles’ expression softened a little. “Come sit down,” he said, not waiting to see if she did as he’d told but skimming through the book he’d opened.

Buffy sat across from him on the edge of the chair. Placing her both hands on the table she stared at them again. Her nails weren’t well manicured. She remembered a time when she’d spend time and time to cut and file and paint them. Alex had red nails. Spike’s were black. She could no longer find it in her to care about her own. At least she didn’t bite on them. She raised her gaze slightly and it fell on Giles’ fingers. His nails were very short; the white couldn’t be more than a millimeter. When her eyes went back to her own hands she saw they were shaking. Hastily she clenched them into fists.

“Giles,” she said, fighting to keep the tremor from her voice, “Please tell me what’s going on.”

The Watcher pushed the book he’d been reading in front of her, then reached for the other, opening it at the place marked with a piece of paper. It was a picture of the demon she and Spike had fought outside the insect woman’s house.

“The text,” Giles said without looking up from his book, “Read the text.”

She glanced from him, down in the book, to him again.

“Er... Giles...”

“Yes?”

“It’s in Latin.”

“Oh.” Giles stopped leafing through the pages for the hair of a second. “Just a moment...” He turned another page. “Ah, here it is.”

He stood and walked over to her side of the table, bringing the book with him and putting it down beside the one Buffy had looked in. There were no pictures in it and the text was written in a foreign language. She still found herself just staring at it.

“I’ve been mistaken about this breaking point,” Giles said. “Buffy, it will start over again.”

“What?”

He pulled up a handkerchief from his pocket and took off his glasses. “These demons,” he began, “they have no secrets from each other. Every thought and memory are shared.”

“You mean...”

“Very soon the mind-reading will start again,” he said, “It will go on until something triggers you to let the memories flood between you again.” He drew in a deep breath. “I have no idea how you managed to come back to yourselves last time, your whole pasts should’ve been shared.”

The feeling of fangs sliding into her neck. Automatically one of her hands went to her neck, fingering the punctures. Giles' eyes followed the move, then they went wide. He shook his head. “Buffy, tell me he didn’t...”

“He b-bit m-me and it disappeared.”

For a moment her Watcher just stared at her. “Buffy, how come... and he didn’t hurt you?”

She shook her head.

“Maybe... Blood sharing is one of the oldest...”

Silence filled the room for a moment.

“Giles? Is there a way to remove this... thing?”

“Huh?” He turned to her, but she didn’t think he really saw her. “Maybe… blood sharing… it must have fooled the mind-bounding... perhaps if…”

“Giles? What are you talking about?”

***

He had never seen her pace before. She had told him to sit on the porch and was now walking back and forth in front of him. After half a minute she ran a hand through her hair, opened her mouth... and began to pace again.

“Alright, Slayer,” he said, “What’s going on?”

A blink, then she halted completely. When she just stared at him Spike felt an amused smile spread over his lips. Shaking his head he patted the wood beside him. There was no hesitation as she took her place and he almost breathed a sigh of relief. He’d feared that she’d be afraid of coming close to him after yesterday. When she’d started the pacing he’d almost thought she’d come with some speech how she never could see him again.

“I talked with Giles today,” she suddenly said.

“Yeah? What did the Watcher say?”

She bit her bottom lip. “He’d looked up that demon we fought, you know? Outside the insect lady’s house?” At his nod she continued. “I had to tell him how we suddenly got our voices back so... Anyhow, he –“ Spike turned sharply towards her.

“Did you tell him about...”

“No. Nothing,” she said, shaking her head vigorously and he relaxed. He didn’t really think she would tell the Watcher anything, but you could never know.

The girl drew in a deep breath. “It will start again,” she blurted. “Giles said you biting me last time was what triggered it to stop, something about blood rituals that I so didn’t get. But then he said when the mind-reading starts again you’ll bite me again because you can’t trust evil vampires and –“

“Hold it, love,” Spike said, trying to summarize what she’d just told him, “Giles said the mind reading would start again?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

Slowly she tucked her hair between her ear, exposing her neck to him. The punctures were barely visible. He had to stop himself from reaching out to touch them.

“When they are completely healed.”

TBC

Chapter 19

The following night she was shot into wakefulness by Spike cursing. Despite the fact she’d been worrying about this she couldn’t help but giggle a little, even though no sound past her lips. Sending him the first thought was simple, as if they’d never spoken with each other any other way.

Spike?

Here again, huh? She could almost see him sighing.

Guess so.

There was silence for a moment.

Bloody hell!

She jumped a little. What are you doing?

Trying to get this bed into the crypt. The irritation was all too obvious from his voice and she felt her brow wrinkle.

Why do you want a bed inside a crypt?

It’s my new home.

Oh. She frowned again. Why would you want to live in a crypt?

A beat.

It’s a vampire thing, love.

It had to be. Who else but a demon would want to live in a crypt? Perhaps vamps had a thing for cold stony things, or old and dirty. She remembered the other ‘place’ he’d lived in, that one had definitely been dirty and old; ready to fall apart, if she remembered right. At least a crypt was sturdy, so this should be an improvement.

She rolled onto her side to stare at the alarm’s red numbers. 02:34. It had turned to 02:37 when one of them, she, spoke again.

So what are we gonna do now?

***

She should have told her.

“Buffy Anne Summers!”

She definitely should have told her.

Joyce looked down in the notebook for a second time. Carefully Buffy sat down by the isle, all the time keeping an eye on her Mother.

“Why didn’t you tell me!”

Buffy shrank back in the chair. She knew she should’ve told her, but the opportunity just hadn’t shown up. Or rather; she’d made sure the opportunity didn’t show up. Turning her head away, she swallowed hard. Last time they had talked, Mom had been so understanding... so accepting. Buffy felt the familiar burn behind her eyelids. It was her own fault. If she’d just talked with Mom directly after the talk with Giles. Hastily she fumbled for the notepad, wrote a line and slid it back across the isle.

‘sorry’

She looked away again, and barely caught a glimpse of Joyce’s softening expression.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Joyce said, walking around the counter to put an arm around her daughter’s shoulders. “It’s just... it isn’t every week your daughter becomes dumb twice.” She tightened her hold for a moment.

Buffy grinned a little and her mother smiled back before she let go to walk over to the refrigerator. As she opened it, it was clear that the woman was trying to appear relaxed; Buffy could see the tension in her shoulders though. She appreciated it nonetheless.

“So,” Mom said, as she took out the juice, “How long will it last this time?”

‘Not long.’

Not long at all. For a moment she considered telling Mom about what would be needed to stop this, then quickly decided against it. As Joyce had just said, ’It isn’t every week your daughter becomes dumb twice’, Buffy really didn’t want to overwhelm her – more. Joyce didn’t know much about Slayer stuff yet, despite the pile of books on her bedside table. Books she’d borrowed from Giles. Right now, Buffy even suspected that her mother had read more about Slayers than she herself had; it warmed her.

“Not long?” Joyce put down one glass on the counter beside the juice, and reached for another. “Do you want some?” Buffy shook her head. “So you’re not sure how long it will last then?”

Shaking her head again, Buffy raised the pen again. ‘I’ll speak to Giles today. And avoid the few people I know.’

“Honey, they aren’t mean to you, are they?”

What was she, five years old? Buffy arched an eyebrow and her mom gave a small laugh.

“Well, you know what I mean. I suppose most of them know what happened to you, and sometimes people don’t know how to act or what to say.”

Buffy nodded, thinking about Alex. She promised herself that she’d tell her mother about the girl when she got her voice back, if only to ease the older woman’s worries. Then she stood up.

“Alright, run along.” Joyce laughed again. “But we’ll talk about this again when you get your voice back!”

***

So what do we do now?

They had decided to just get it over with.

She had told Giles about it and he’d been positive, right up to his demand that they were at his place. That had been a big ‘no’. The thought of sitting in her Watcher’s sofa, Giles staring at her, while... She shuddered. Spike’s crypt was very... very much a crypt. Except for the underground level. Honestly she was impressed that he’d managed to get a bed down there. But when she asked how he had done it though, he’d just winked at her and said it was one of his deepest secrets.

Now they were sitting side by side on the stone floor. Even though Spike had lit a couple of candles the place still lay in almost total darkness. The tightly shut door combined with the dank air and the darkness made her think of a prison cell.

Alright, I figured what should trigger this. Slowly, Spike raised his head to look her straight in the eye. You know what did it last time, right?

For a moment she just looked at him, of course she knew. What was going through that mind of his? She nodded.

Right. He ran a hand through his hair. Er... how did you think we’d set it off?

She arched her eyebrows. When they had discussed this last night he’d said he knew how to do it. Her first thought had been that they would simply have to wait until something triggered it again. The second one she hadn’t wanted to dwell upon.

Spike tilted his head to the side. You know.

Quickly she got to her feet and took a couple of steps away. It probably won’t work! I mean, it’s not like I can just command myself to... She closed her eyes.

For a moment she was completely still, then she slowly turned around again. With a sigh she went back to sink down across from him.

So do you think it’ll work? He asked.

I always avoid thinking about... him and that.... time. It shouldn’t be very hard to... She gave him a small smile. You know how easily I freak, this should only take a second.

Slayer, you...

She raised a hand and his voice died out in her mind. Her eyes fell shut again.

It was like when you’ve had a nightmare. You wake up in the middle of the night, gasping and sweating, realizing that it was just a dream. But as you lay down again, staring at the ceiling, you still can’t relax completely. Logic tells you it was only a dream, but your heart is still hammering and the fear is poking at the edges of your mind.

He was always poking at the edges of her mind.

So as she closed her eyes, all she had to do was focus on him, and even though a large part of her mind protested, she still couldn’t look away once she’d started. The trembling started. She could feel her hands shaking where they rested on her knees. His hand ghosted down her side in such a familiar way.

***

He hadn’t been sure she’d be able to do it. Or, he’d thought she could actually do it, but that she was too afraid, that her mind wasn’t strong enough. He could feel the exact moment she let go and the wall came tumbling down. Fire spread through his veins.

His first impulse was to try and shut her out, but this time he knew it was pointless. Instead he concentrated on forcing himself to open up. The first burst of pain had his eyes rolling back in his head and somewhere he could hear the Slayer whimper.

There was always a vibe over the places Angelus claimed as his. They tapped their foot against the fallen Sunnydale sign, taking a deep drag on the cigarette. They had never completely figured out how their Sire did it. He had never been one for the grand entrance; he wasn’t like them. While they’d roar into a city, the older vampire preferred a stealthy approach. But still... everyone knew he was there. Today it served in their favour though; they could be sure Angelus was here.

They knew their goal.

The faceless female had said the Slayer would be here. She was the one they needed, or so had they been told, at least. At first, they had doubted, they had suspected – hell, they still suspected! – that the female’s visits in their dreams were result of magic. And they knew magic always had consequences. Now though... They shook their head, flicked the cigarette to the ground, and started walking back to the car.

The female had pointed towards their goal and told them they couldn’t do it on their own, and well... they already knew that. It seemed almost logical that the Slayer would be the key. At least it had at the moment she’d said it. They had gone back and forth after that, but in the end... They were here, weren’t they?

And Angelus shouldn’t be hard to find.

His head rolled to the side. She had already given in, he could feel her bare against his mind. If he gave in completely too, this would probably be over a lot faster. Even as he thought the thought, he couldn’t will himself to be so open.

“Oh sweetheart, come here.”

They sniffled, climbing down from their chair and into Mommy’s waiting arms. Kissing their hair, she pulled them close. They buried their face in her neck and drew in her sweet scent.

“Now, tell me what happened,” Mom said.

Without raising their head they lifted the hem of their dress. Out of the corner of an an eye they saw the blood trickle down their leg from the cut knee. They pressed themselves closer to Mom.

“I tripped on the stairs.” Sniffle. “And Hannah just laughed!”

“Oh, honey.” Mom stroked her hair.

For a moment he felt anger well up inside him, why in hell did he have to go through this? But it died the next instant again. He’d no reason to be angry, nor did he have the energy. His sight was becoming blurry. Another flash of pain and he could feel the next memory pushing its way forward.

“How are you feeling today, Mother?” They studied the woman across from them. She had dark circles around her eyes, and her complexion seemed to become paler by each day.

“Oh William,” their Mother said, placing a hand atop of theirs. “Stop worrying about me. You shouldn’t –” She was broken off by a fit of coughing.

It took close to a minute before she recovered. They turned their hand and gently squeezed the tiny, bony one in their grip. At last she wiped her mouth with a handkerchief before offering them a smile.

“Well, you know I am not perfectly fine,” she said. “But that is no excuse for you to be watching over me like a hawk!” She gave them a stern look. “You should spend some more time with people at your own age, I know there is a young lady you’re fond of.” A wink.

“Mother...” They looked away, feeling a slight blush creep up their cheeks.

His head rolled to the side and his eyes fell on her. She was panting, her eyes wide open but unfocused. For a moment another way to completely stop this occurred to him and he could see his hand closing around her throat, almost hear the bones crush.

“How did you get her?” Was that disgust in his voice? Or simply curiosity? They didn’t really care. “You must’ve tricked her somehow, I’ve never seen a Slayer who-“

He snickered. “Yeah, and you’ve fought so many.”

“I didn’t gain the title Slayer of Slayers for nothing, mate.”

Laughter echoed through the place but the vampire beside them didn’t say anything, even though they could almost taste the anger that had begun rising in him. The hands came back to touch them. They graced their dirty hair and then roughly pulled at their wrist. They knew what he wanted now; reaction. But their muscles were still numb and they definitely would not awaken for a vampire.

“Have you put a spell on her or somethin’?”

“Nope. That’s what twenty days of torture does to a Slayer.” He said.

“You mean raping and blood drinking.”

“And some whipping and beating.”

He wouldn’t be able to do that. Slowly he felt himself relaxing and he let his eyes fall shut.

“Hey, Spike.”

They threw a glance over their shoulder, groaned and turned back to their glass. Not again. Hastily they drowned the glass and lifted the bottle of whisky to refill it.

The woman sat down on the stool beside them, grabbing their bottle and helping herself. They gulped down their refilled glass, then pushed it aside and turned to the woman beside them. She had one hand around their glass but her eyes were on them.

“Something you wanted, pet?” they asked.

“Well.. yeah.” The woman shifted in his seat, looked down in her glass for a second and then at them again. “Remember last time you were here? W-when you said you wouldn’t kill me?”

They blinked. “I didn’t promise that, did I?” God, who knew why they had hooked up with the woman in the first place, or well, maybe Jack could tell them. He must have been the one to inspire them.

“Well... no, but –”

They stood.

***

They had seen a lot of dead bodies during their two months as the Slayer. Most of the time it was drained people and it didn’t look so bad usually, just two wholes in the neck. It was worse that time when they had met a demon that ate hearts.

He was lying on his back, the front of his white shirt stained red. A book lay beside him, an grotesque demon on the cover. For a sick second they almost smiled, but then their gaze was drawn to the the watcher’s face. They had believed that people found some kind of peace in death, but the man’s eyes were filled with fear.

His throat was ripped out.

They stumbled away, nausea filling them. A second later they threw up over his rose bushes.

For a second they were still two beings, but then the resistant one finally gave in completely. Their minds smashed together.

Two pairs of eyes snapped open.

Everything began to spin. Flashes of faces swirled before their eyes and the blaze went higher. A united gasp of pain – then everything turned black.

TBC

Chapter 20

Darkness. Cold. She blinked slowly. Saw a glimmer of weak light for a fraction of a second, but her eyelids were so heavy, she couldn’t keep them open. It was like her whole body had turned to stone. Her body? Their body. Their... no, something was strange about that. There was no they, only her.

Where was she? Cold. Darkness. It had to be outdoors. She forced her eyes to open completely and was met by a dark grey ceiling. She glanced to the right, didn’t have the strength to turn her head. Three candles standing on the... stone floor.

There was a movement on her other side. Her heart accelerated. Darkness. Cold. Stone floor. Him. No, that couldn’t... could it? Desperately she tried to look to the left, just a little.

Suddenly her head snapped back and her eyes went wide. Images flashed before her; faces, places. Spinning, round, round, round. It was all too much. Beside her she heard a low moan before blackness descended again.

***

When he woke the second time he could smell the sun. Slowly he opened his eyes. A short while he lay completely still, resting his head against the hard floor. The tiredness in his body had been replaced by a dull ache, but the urge to go back to sleep was great. He remembered waking up the first time, the images flashing before him... Buffy. After a short struggle he managed to sit up. For a moment his sight blurred and he blinked rapidly. The fear was still nagging at him, but right now he couldn’t remember why. As the world cleared, he saw her lying on her back, eyes tightly shut and her chest gently falling and rising. The slight pain in her face robbed the picture of its peacefulness. As peaceful as it could become when she was lying in a crypt anyway. It reminded him a little of when he’d first seen her in Angelus’ lair. God, knowing what that bastard had done to her...

Hesitantly he reached out to touch her, his hand ghosting over her hair just as her eyes opened. He snatched his hand back. For a moment she seemed completely unaware of where she was. Her eyes wandered over the place, lingering on the candles and then fixed on him. As their gazes locked, the world stilled and he searched for any sign of her thoughts, feelings; anything. Then she flinched and pulled back. Hastily he reached for her to... he wasn’t sure why, perhaps to assure himself that everything would be all right. She drew back and quickly got to her feet, swaying a little for a couple of seconds.

“You...” she whispered, staring at him.

He stared back, one hand still outstretched. “Slayer...”

“All those people you...”

Her eyes closed and she looked like she was about to vomit. His hand dropped. Not for a second did he doubt that he knew exactly what she was thinking of.

“You...” she whispered again.

She spun around and ran.

***

She ran all the way back home, even though she knew the sunrise would stop the vampire from following her. Her mind was a perfect blank as she climbed into bed: not bothering to undress, she pulled the covers up to her chin and just lay there for long minutes. It was her Mother’s voice that broke through to her.

“Buffy?” The bedroom door opened and Joyce poked her head in. “Did it work? I didn’t hear you coming in last night, I thought perhaps you’d stay at Giles’.” There was a hint of disapproval as she spoke the last sentence, though she tried to hide it under a neutral tone. Buffy turned to her mother, tilting her head to one side. I wonder if it’s because of the hospital that she tries to be so accepting now. You should prepare yourself for another fight. A small part of her mind realized she wasn’t being fair, but it wasn’t until a disappointed expression crossed her Mom’s face that she attempted to answer the question.

“Yes.” Buffy cleared her throat. “Yes. It worked.”

A big smile lit up Joyce’s face and stepping into the room, she sat on the edge of the bed.

“That’s wonderful, how did you do it?” she asked. “When I spoke to Mr Giles on the phone the day before yesterday, he couldn’t give me any details.”

There was a short pause before Buffy offered a tiny smile.

“Mom, I’m really tired,” she said. “And honestly... I’m not even sure if I can explain it. Can’t you call Giles again?”

There was a flash of sadness over her mother’s features, but it was so brief Buffy wasn’t sure if she’d imagined it or not. Then the older woman patted her shoulder and stood.

“I think I’ll do that,” she said. “Well, school begins in an hour, I’ll give you a lift.”

Buffy resisted the urge to pull the covers over her head. “Do I have to go?”

“You’ve already missed enough during these last weeks, Buffy.” Suddenly a teasing grin spread over Joyce’s lips. “Anyway, shouldn’t you Slayers need less sleep than us ordinary mortal?”

She disappeared out of the room with a small chuckle.

***

She had the perfect plan. Go see Giles minutes before first class, tell him she’d gotten her voice back and then the bell would ring and she’d be off. Three minutes to eight she pushed the library doors open.

“Giles?”

A moment later the Watcher came out from his office, smiling at her.

“So it worked?” he said.

“Yup. All is well in Buffyland again.” she said.

“And... erm... Spike?”

“Fine too.” She tried for a careless shrug.

“How are you coping with the new memories?” Giles asked, looking at her intently. “I can’t imagine what a vampire such as him has seen over the years. It surely must –“

The loud ringing of the bell cut him off.

“Sorry, Giles,” she said, giving him a half smile she hoped wasn’t overly bright.

“Of course,” he said.

She’d turned around before he finished talking and was heading for the doors when he called her name. She halted reluctantly, looking over her shoulder.

“Did something happen last night?” Giles asked.

“Nah, everything’s just... I just had a long night.”

“Oh, of course.” But a small frown was still wrinkling his forehead. “Are you going to patrol tonight?”

Buffy rested one hand on the doors, ready to push it open, as she hesitantly nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Do you want me to come with or...?”

The unspoken question rang loud in her ears and she swallowed. “Spike’s not coming with me,” she said. “I think I should go on my own, I need to learn...”

Giles nodded slowly. “I understand,” he said. “You do know that I still don’t approve of –“

“Giles, I really gotta hurry. I can’t miss another English lesson.” She pushed the doors open and hurried out before he had time to say another word.

***

He had felt how everything smashed into pieces as she raised her head, revealing the absolute disgust in her features, before she ran out. So simple, like a glass that fell to floor and shattered. He should’ve known, hell, he had known. He should’ve talked to her about it on beforehand. Lied to her, said that it was the past, or perhaps even promised her not to kill any more people while he was in Sunnydale. But she probably wouldn’t have bought it, not after she’d experienced his memories, anyway. If you dropped a glass to the ground you had to be very lucky for it not to break.

Spike rolled over onto his back. He would fix this. He would go over to her house tonight and... everything would turn out just fine. Hastily he leapt out of bed and started to pace. Who was he kidding? No way she’d be over this after a bit of small talk. Slayers were so righteous, she’d... a toneless laugh echoed in the crypt. Yeah, he knew what she was supposed to do. And he’d bet she knew it too.

With a deep sigh he flopped back onto the bed again. And he lay staring at the ceiling, and he recalled the nights she’d done the same as he fell asleep.

There was something very... normal about this. He remembered studying back when he’d been human. He’d loved it most of the time, burying his nose in dusty old books. William had loved...

“Oh, come on! You’re fooling no one but yourself.”

He refused to acknowledge her, but his train of thought had been broken off and he couldn’t go back. Instead he gazed around the classroom. It didn’t take long before a hand was placed on his shoulder.

“Fuck off,” he said, still not turning to her.

A small titter.

“Have I done something to anger you, William?”

He shrugged her hand off. “You will if you don’t bugger off.”

Next second the female was standing in front of him, a sly smile playing on her lips.

“Have you ever heard of alternative realities?” she asked.

Wasn’t one visit a week enough anymore? She had to show up even more often? All right, so it had been some days since the last dream, it still didn’t mean she had to appear this particualar night... day.

“I think I’m gonna wake up now,” Spike said, looking around in search of a door.

“Do you think of her, Spike?” She was close again, her breath hot against his ear. “Do you wake up at night, wondering –“

“Fuck... if you must be here - ” He span around, roughly grabbing her by the forearms. “- can’t you say something approaching sensible?!”

“Sorry.” She actually seemed to mean it. “I know you don’t think... Tell me about your new thoughts.”

She was reading his thoughts again, but this time it didn’t disturb him as much, he suspected she’d been doing it ever since they’d first met. He searched her shadow face and saw nothing. “Do you... do you think I can kill them on my own?”

Silence.

“No.”

***

The teacher was speaking of famous authors but all Buffy could see a woman crying out as a railroad spike was pushed through her hand. Nausea was filling her and she shook her head, lifting the pen to try and actually write down some notes.

“... was born in 1809 in Boston,” Mrs Davis said, “He is one of America’s most... ”

Buffy looked down at the blank paper. Her tongue was too big in her mouth; the taste of blood was so very clear. The middle-aged woman’s brown hair trailed down her back and the tight dress clung to her curves. The sound of her pounding heart was all they heard. It pumped the blood through her veins, called them to her. God, how could she have ignored it? She had spent time with him, talked with him, treated him as if he was a human. She knew the answer. She’d been too focused on that they had something in common, that he too had suffered under his hands.

“He is most renowned for his tales of mystery and the macabre and he is actually considered the inventor of the detective-fiction genre...”

The sensation of sinking their teeth into soft flesh, the ecstasy in the taste of blood, of life. Buffy let the pen drop and buried her face in her hands.

***

There was only one light on in her room. He watched her silhouette, as she moved around, for a couple of minutes before he picked up a pebble and threw it against the window. She went completely still. For a moment he almost thought she’d ignore him so he bent down to pick up another pebble to throw. The same second she opened the window.

She had dark circles under her eyes and the jacket was almost swallowing her. There was nothing fearful in her expression though, only exhaustion and the disgust he’d anticipated. Spike took a step forward.

“You coming down?” he asked.

No, it wasn’t disgust he realized.

Sadness.

“Why should I?” she asked. “You’re a monster.”

“Come on, love,” he said. “You must’ve known before that I’ve killed people.”

Now she looked away.

“I knew it, before, or I realized that you must have.” She smiled a little. “I guess I just chose not to think of it, you were there when everybody else... But I can’t ignore it now, not when I keep remembering the feeling...” Her voice died out.

“You need me!” A slight desperation sneaked its way into his tone. “What about Angelus and Dru, huh? What are you gonna do about them?”

Quickly she turned her head back to him and their gazes locked.

“I guess you’ll just have to kill them on your own.”

“And if I die instead of him?” He was yelling now. “What’re you gonna do then?”

“Go away, Spike.”

She shut the window.

“Slayer!” he called.

Nothing.

“Buffy!”

Nothing.

“Come on, talk to me!”

Nothing.

TBC

Chapter 21

”Six fucking days!”

The fledgling flinched and tried to look sympathetic as he attempted to inch his stool away from the obviously crazy master vampire. Said vampire threw back his – god knew which number – shot and nailed Randall to the stool with his glare.

“Why do you think she does that?” the blond vamp asked.

“Perhaps - ” The word came out as a squeak. “ – you came on too hard?”

A low growl split the air and the vampire reached for the bottle, this time not bothering to fill his glass but just taking a gulp.

“I bloody well did not!” Another gulp. “What was I supposed to do?! She just ran off.” His voice took on a falsetto tone. “I’m Heaven’s Chosen one, so what if...”

Randall could only stare. He wasn’t talking about... it couldn’t be...

“... bloody Slayer!”

A blink. This vamp’s insanity was now definitely proven. Randall stood, as slowly and carefully as possible, gaze locked on the blond to make sure he was totally focused on the half empty bottle. Just as Randall was about to take his first step to safety a hand grabbed his arm. Effortlessly he was pushed back onto the stool.

“Thought you’d sneak off, huh?” First now the other vamp raised his gaze to let it travel over Randall’s form. “You’d be perfect to meet on patrol; the Slayer could use some easy practice.”

Randall pulled back, opening his mouth so as not to insult the vampire by not answering. No sound came out. He cleared his throat.

“Uhh... thanks.” Another squeak, people would think he hadn’t left puberty yet.

So much for not insulting the blond, the vampire didn’t even seem to hear him.

“Should’ve known nothing good would come out of joining forces with the Slayer...” he grumbled, taking another swallow. “Doesn’t make it better that the girl is out of her mind.”

Randall flinched again. A Slayer who was out of her mind? Maybe he should leave town. Who knew what an insane Slayer could do... he shuddered.

“Hey mate, what’s your name?”

“Um... Randall.” Yay. Only half way to a squeak and he received a hard slap on the back.

“Tell you what,” the blond said, “if I ever sort this mess out, I’ll tell the Slayer not to stake any vamps named Randall.”

“Really?” Randall asked doubtfully.

“Damn right.”

Randall could feel his whole being light up. Maybe something good would come out of this meeting after all.

“Probably won’t listen to me though.” The blond continued, tilting the bottle back again, only to find it empty. “She never listens.” He raised his voice; “Hey! Willy! Gimme another bottle!”

Randall’s shoulders sagged and for the first time this evening he tasted his own drink.

“You would’ve thought she knew I’ve killed people.”

“Mmm.”

Suddenly the blond looked at him, really looked at him. Studied him as if he was a statue and then tilted his head to the side. “You ever met a girl who didn’t like you killing?”

“Er... I was turned a month ago.”

“Huh.” The master vampire returned to his drink. “Were you a murderer as human?”

“Er... no.”

“Figured.”

There was silence and Randall shifted uneasily in his seat. Willy came over to them after a long minute and hesitantly placed a bottle on the bar.

“S-Spike, you don’t think –” Willy giggled in a slightly emasculate way. “– you’ve had enough?”

“Fuck off, Willy.”

“Right.” The bartender hurried away while Randall stared longingly at the other customers in the bar; everybody had made sure to sit as far away as possible from this ‘Spike’.

“Everyone knows I’ve been hanging around the Slayer,” Spike said.

Randall jumped a little, hastily turning his focus back to the other vampire, who had an amused smile on his lips.

“Are you very drunk?” Randall asked. Perhaps he should encourage more drinking and then, when the vamp was drunk enough, he could flee.

“Not too drunk.” The vampire leered, licking his lips, and Randall nearly fell off his stool. A deep chuckle rumbled through the older vampire’s chest. Randall wondered if the chuckle meant ‘it was a joke’ or ‘I meant it but haha you almost fell off your stool’. But it almost seemed like he and the Slayer had some kind of relationship. She’d kill him for sure if she thought he’d tricked her lover into cheating on her.

“Uh... aren’t you and the Slayer like, together?”

Next second a snarl erupted from the master vampire as he slipped into game face. Randall tried to make himself as small as possible. It had suddenly become very quiet in the bar.

“Not with the Slayer.” Randall found he had gone back to squeaking. “I get it.”

Yellow eyes stared at him for a moment, and then turned to glare at their audience. The other customers quickly returned to their drinks and Spike’s features melted back to human.

“I’m outta here,” he muttered, grabbing his bottle and standing. After swaying for a second, he disappeared out through the door.

Randall drowned the rest of his drink and thanked whatever gods there were.

He needed to kill something.

***

”Of course.”

The brunette lay a hand on Buffy’s arm, a hand with pink-painted nails. Pink was a new color. During the last week Buffy had seen it change from the ordinary red to blue, striped and finally this.

Alex lifted her free hand and held it up in front of her face, studying it.

“Do you like it?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Buffy said. “I never thought that pink would be a color you’d go for, but it suits you.” She looked at the nails again. “In a weird way.”

The other girl scowled at her, but the expression quickly turned into giggling instead and Buffy found herself grinning as she stood.

“I need to go to the library,” she said, picking up her bag.

“Again? You go there every day.” Alex arched an eyebrow. “I would never have guessed you liked reading so much.” Her expression turned serious. “Tell me the truth; are you crushing on the librarian?”

“What?!” Buffy opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. “Giles is like, way old and...” Suddenly she noticed the sparkle in the other girl’s eyes. “Think you’re funny, huh?”

“Uh-huh.”

Shaking her head, Buffy gave an amused smile before she started walking away. She’d only taken a couple of steps before Alex was by her side.

“I figured I’d go with you,” the brunette said, “There’s a couple of books I’d like to borrow.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Now she wouldn’t be able to talk to Giles freely. Perhaps she wouldn’t have to lie about patrolling again – the patrolling that was supposed to happen but hadn’t. The thought of walking through the cemeteries on her own had her heart thundering. Giles had offered to go with her more than once, but she truly felt like she should go on her own. If she could just build up the courage to step outside the door.

He had been quiet the last days. Was he biding his time? Buffy didn’t want to think about it. Repression was a great thing. If it worked. There were a whole lot of things she’d like to repress.

Him.

Spike.

It felt like something heavy was weighing down her shoulders. Spike had come by her house five times after that night, each time yelling at her and demanding she talk to him. She hadn’t been tempted to. Just looking at his face, all she could see was blood.

They reached the library and Alex went in first, holding one door open for Buffy. She tried to force all memories away. Giles looked up when they entered. He was standing by the issuing counter, one book lying open on it next to a stack of others.

“Hi Giles,” Buffy said.

“Hello Buffy.”

Alex smiled at Giles before sending Buffy a curious look. She should probably have told Alex that Giles was an old friend to the family or something.

“I’ll go look for those books,” Alex said to Buffy, who nodded.

Quickly she crossed the room towards the stairs.

“Just tell me if you need any help,” Giles called after her.

Alex halted for a second and threw a look over her shoulder. “Thanks.”

Turning back to the book he’d been reading, Giles closed it and put it a top of the pile. Walking closer, Buffy saw that all of them, or the few she understood the title of, had something to do with vampires.

“Vampire mating rituals?” she said, continuing in a tone of mock seriousness. “Giles, is there something you want to tell me?”

A slight blush actually crept up Giles’ cheeks and he hastily took off his glasses and started to polish them.

“I’ve been studying vampire bites,” Giles said, in a quiet voice, “I want to be sure that Spike’s bite won’t affect you in any way.”

Buffy frowned. “It’s already healed, you know that.” She took a step forward. “Has something happened?”

“No, no.” Then he sighed. “Hopefully nothing will happen either; I just want to make sure that nothing won’t happen.”

She didn’t want to know. Whatever it was, she didn’t want to know.

“Okay,” she said quickly. “So, you’ll tell me if you find this... nothing?”

“Of course.”

Giles put his glasses on and pushed the handkerchief back into the pocket of his trousers. A sound came from the bookshelves in the other end of the room and they both looked that way. It sounded like Alex had dropped something on the floor. Buffy mentally shrugged and turned back to her Watcher.

“A friend of yours?” he asked, failing in hiding the happy twinkle in his eyes.

Wow, he and Mom could still become best friends.

“Yes,” Buffy said. “Alex. She just moved here.”

“I’m glad you’re making friends, Buffy,”

It took all her power not to roll her eyes. This reminded her of the talk she’d had with her Mom a couple of days ago, when Joyce had asked “Honey, are they mean to you?” But then again, she couldn’t really blame either of them.

“Did Spike come by your house yesterday?” Giles asked as he picked up some of the books from the pile and started for his office.

“Actually no,” Buffy said, following him. “It’s a first since... you know.”

He placed the books on his desk and for a minute silence filled the air. Then he slowly turned to her again. For a moment she thought she saw something flash in his eyes.

“I’m coming with you on patrol tonight,” Giles said. “And you better tell your mother where you’re going.”

Their gazes met.

“Right,” Buffy murmured.

Another sound from the library had her looking over her shoulder and she saw Alex stumbling down the stairs, carrying two large books. She noticed Buffy looking at her and smiled.

“I found them!” she said. “And wow, does this library have a lot of book on the occult.”

Buffy’s heart jumped. “Giles has always been big on the weird stuff...” She gave an uneasy laugh. “...you know, demons, ghosts, vampires and... such. Right, Giles?”

“It has always fascinated me,” Giles said from the office; he’d turned back to his books.

Alex just shrugged, dropping her books on the counter and Buffy walked over to her side. Two novels, she didn’t recognize either of the authors. Then again, it wasn’t like reading was one of her biggest interests.

A few seconds later Giles came out to them.

“Ah,” he said, when he saw what Alex had chosen. “Excellent choices.”

“I know.” Alex actually looked a little embarrassed. “I’ve already read them thrice.”

Giles smiled. “Nothing wrong with rereading a book.”

A minute later he handed the books back to the girl.

“Thanks,” Alex said, and then turned to Buffy. “Shall we?”

***

He remembered the fear the most. Because after the fear disappeared, she hadn’t felt much of anything. But when the fear had still been there, she’d been constantly reminded that she was the Slayer and that she was supposed to fight Angelus’ kind.

Spike found himself staring into nothing; he’d been doing that a lot these days. Especially when he was suffering from a hangover. Which had also been more often than not the last days.

He’d tried to speak to her, more than once, but she wouldn’t even open the window. He’d even considered knocking on the door and asking Joyce to let him in. But on the other hand, the odds were big that the Slayer had told her mother what had happened; if only to make sure she wouldn’t let him in. They might even have performed an uninviting spell by now.

This was all that bloody demon’s fault. If it had never shown up, then none of this would’ve happened.

Spike let out a low growl.

Right now, he just wanted it all over with. Wanted to dust Angelus and Dru so he could be on his merry way. Away. Away from Sunnydale. Away from the Slayer. Away from everything.

***

“I know you haven’t been patrolling, Buffy.”

Buffy thrust the stake into the fledgling’s chest and watched as it turned into dust.

“How?” she asked finally.

“Let’s just say you aren’t the greatest liar on the planet,” Giles said. “And besides, I’ve never heard of a pink demon with long, slimy tentacles.”

“I panicked, okay?” She blushed a little. “You asked what the demon looked like and I... demons always look weird.”

She glanced at him. He didn’t look mad, not really, more like... disappointed. She shouldn’t be surprised. When was the last time he’d been mad at her? He was always just... disappointed. Sighing, she started to walk again and Giles fell in beside her.

“So, is Angelus the only reason you didn’t want to go on patrol?” Giles asked.

Swallowing hard, she fiddled with the stake in her hand. “And Spike.” It came out as a whisper.

“Of course,” Giles said. “I hope you know I was just waiting for you to ask me to come with you.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “I wouldn’t expect you to go out alone these days.”

“Thanks.” She smiled a little.

They walked in comfortable silence for a while. A worry was nagging at Buffy’s mind though, something that refused to go away. Another minute passed before she opened her mouth.

“Giles?”

“Yes?”

“What are we gonna do about him?”

***

A woman was coming down the street towards him. She looked rather pretty under the streetlights, even though normally she would be a bit too old for his taste. Right now Spike was too hungry to care; it had been days since he last fed.

The woman walked with confidence on her high heels, chin raised. At least he liked that about the woman. Spike stepped out from the shadows as she came closer. For the blink of an eye her gaze wavered to him and her heart beat faster. He grinned. It seemed like she contemplated walking over to the other side of the street; she glanced that way. But then she straightened herself even more and he saw the muscles in her jaw flex as she went to pass him.

Quick as lightning, he grabbed her by the waist and pressed her body against his. When she opened her mouth to scream he clamped a hand over it and the smell of fear became stronger.

Her wide eyes were fixed upon him. Spike gave a small chuckle and tightened his hold. A shiver ran through her.

She wanted to beg him to stop, but the words were stuck in her throat. The arm around her middle dragged her closer, so close that she could feel every contour of his body.

Spike shook his head, but the image was stuck. He stared down at the woman in his arms. If he didn’t... It wouldn’t have to last forever, just until Angelus and Dru were dust. Perhaps that would make her see...

His fangs sliced into her skin and blood filled his mouth. He heard her pained gasp but she didn’t struggle as he drank, had probably given up already. All too soon her heart’s rhythm picked up even more.

Abruptly he pushed the woman away. Blood was trickling down her neck, but he hadn’t bit into the artery so she shouldn’t be in danger.

He didn’t look back as he swung around and walked away.

TBC

Chapter 22

”Do you like her, Daddy?”

Spike froze dead in his tracks, cigarette held an inch from his mouth and gaze suddenly locked on the dark blue car that stood parked a couple of meters away. A snicker reached his ears.

“Very much.” This voice sounded amused. “Perhaps we should keep her?” A sound of footsteps and rustling of clothes.

Spike took four soundless steps forward, towards the street corner. If he wanted to he could look around it. Now, he clearly felt the presence of both of them and silently he cursed himself for not noticing it a lot earlier. He was without doubt thinking too much these days.

To look or not to look around the corner. The brightest thing would be to just walk away; he really didn’t want to get into a fight with the two of them. If he sensed them, they most likely knew he was close too. He leaned forward.

“She’s such a pretty doll,” Drusilla said the same moment, caressing a young girl’s cheek.

The girl flinched. She had to be younger than the Slayer, perhaps fifteen, with blonde hair and a thundering heart beat. Angelus stood with his back to Spike as Drusilla held the girl.

She stroked the girl’s hair once, twice, before she suddenly raised her head and looked right at him. She was dressed in black tonight, almost merging together with the shadows. It made her skin seem even paler and a small, familiar smile curled her lips.

”Maybe I’ll learn how to fly,” Her head rolled back and a secretive smile played on her lips. “Live with the pigeons.”

His heart warmed and he took a step closer to wrap his arms around her waist. Feeling her lean back against him he pressed a kiss against her exposed throat. “You don’t have any wings, darling,” he murmured.

“Oh, but I do.” She turned her face towards him, eyes sparkling as they met his. A small hand was placed over his and her voice lowered, became but a whisper. “Shh… I made them out of fog light.”

Angelus began to move closer to the females and Spike hastily drew back. Those few moments with Dru were only stolen memories.

It was probably pure luck his Sire hadn’t felt his presence; that’s if he hadn’t already and chosen to ignore it. Spike swung around, he’d have to take a detour to the Slayer’s house if he wanted to avoid this street.

***

She had been lying here for one hour and twenty-two minutes. Buffy turned onto her side for the thousandth time. Giles had gone with her on patrol again tonight, talking about responsibility and sacred duty while she staked vampires and tried to at least look like she was paying attention.

She was surprised they hadn’t run into Spike – or that Spike hadn’t run into them. She would’ve thought he’d stalk her now when she was finally leaving the house again but there had been no sign of him. Sure, Giles had been with her, but that shouldn’t stop the vampire. It was the second night in a row he hadn’t been outside her window too. For the briefest second her heart clenched. What if… Abruptly she shook her head, rolling onto her back for the thousandth-and-one time this night.

Giles seemed to be up to something. Either that or he’d been doing ever more reading during the last few days. A small smile spread over her lips but it disappeared quickly. Those vampire books had been piled up on the counter today too. Was Giles researching him? When she’d brought up the matter of killing him the day before yesterday, the Watcher had been quick to assure her he was already looking into it. Perhaps he was looking for some kind of loophole, the master vampire’s weak spot. If he had any.

For an instant she could feel a cool breath on her neck and a hand gripping her shoulder. A shiver ran down her spine as she felt the familiar pricking in the back of her neck; telling her a vampire was near. The feeling abruptly pushed away the memories threatening to invade her mind.

Swallowing hard she forced herself to get out of bed. Padding over to the window she glanced down and saw a familiar blond head crossing her lawn. Not him. She let out a sigh of relief and her body relaxed. Slipping back into bed she hoped Spike wouldn’t start throwing stuff against her window tonight too.

***

When he reached the Slayer’s house he made no move to draw her attention. Instead he simply leaned against ‘his’ tree, hands stuffed in his pockets as he gazed up at her bedroom window. He assumed she had gone to bed; he couldn’t see her moving around, but still heard her steady heartbeat coming from the room. It was slow, but not slow enough for her to be sleeping.

Absently he stuck a fresh cigarette between his lips and lit it.

His heart warmed and he took a step closer to wrap his arms around her waist.

God, she was beautiful. All that pale skin pressed against his. Spike blew out the smoke, raising the cigarette to his lips again. If only those times had not been so rare. At least she had never told him to fuck off when he returned to them – her – after any of his ‘little trips’.

The only sound was that of their bodies moving together and her whimpering. He could see them together for his inner eye; Dru on all fours, his Sire’s hand buried in her hair; craning her head backwards. It didn’t take long before her scream of release rang in his ears and it was soon followed by Angelus’ low growl.

Silence.

Spike sat on the floor, staring into the wall on the other side of the room. He should’ve known he’d come back to this. Perhaps he ought to just slink away again.

He was still sitting there when the door swung open minutes later. There was no shimmer of surprise in Angelus’ eyes as he saw him, instead he smirked. Naked, he casually leaned against the doorway.

“Knew it was only a matter a time before you’d be back, boy,” Angelus said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, yeah,” Spike muttered, trying for uncaring but sounding much more miserable than he liked.

His Sire was quiet as he regarded him and Spike slowly stood, meeting his gaze without wavering. Angelus didn’t look away to call after his other Childe.

“Dru! Come look who’s here!”

She wasn’t quite as gorgeous as he remembered. But it was possible that her standing nude beside Angelus shadowed her beauty. Her eyes lit up when she caught sight of him, but she put a hand on Angelus’ chest.

“The stars told me you’d come back,” she said, slowly letting her free hand slide down her body. “They said you missed your Mummy.”

Spike could only stare. Is this what I came back for?

“Well.” Angelus slid up behind Drusilla and wrapped his arms around her. “As nice as it is to have you back – oh wait. It’s not.” A large hand cupped a milk white breast. “Anyhow, we were in the middle of something.”

Cooing, Drusilla rubbed her cheek against Angelus’ neck. “He can join us, can’t he, Daddy?”

Angelus shrugged, untangled himself from Drusilla and went back into the bedroom. Dru hurried across the room, reaching out to take Spike’s hand. This close he could smell his Sire all over her.

“I knew you would come back,” she whispered, tilting her head back and on its own, his hand came up to cup her cheek. Feeling the soft skin under his fingertips as she purred against him.

“Dru!” Angelus voice, the impatience clear in his tone.

When the vampiress holding Spike’s hand pulled him towards the door, he didn’t resist.

She really had fucked with his mind. Wrapping him around her little finger just like Angelus had had her wrapped around his. The times when she had… or more important, the times when she hadn’t. Hadn’t done anything at all.

Sighing, he pushed all thoughts of his Sire and Dru away. His eyes were drawn to the window again. He really wanted to tell her that he was willing to give up killing… for the time being, not that he’d tell her that. Perhaps that would at least make her talk to him. If only to yell that she didn’t believe him. Spike frowned. Would she trust him to not kill humans? Was her trust even worth putting the kill on hiatus?

He listened to her steady heartbeat for a second.

Yes. It was.

***

Buffy scurried down the stairs, trying to button her shirt at the same time. She was walking into the kitchen as she did up the last one and almost ran into her mother. Joyce gave a small, amused smile as Buffy poured a glass of juice and then quickly drank it down.

“You know what I say, if you had…” Mom said, not finishing the sentence as she calmly unfolded the paper.

“Yeah, yeah,” Buffy muttered, putting the glass in the sink, “Go to bed in time, then you’ll jump up five thirty in the morning and have time to shower for as long you want. Most of us don’t have Slayer duties half of the night.”

A frown marred Joyce’s face and she to put the paper down. “Honey, you didn’t come in until half past one last night, are those patrols –“

Buffy mentally cursed herself. “It’s cool, mom, really,” she said hastily. “Last night was an unusually long night, I haven’t patrolled for a while and there were lots of fledglings.” Actually, that was the truth; after a week of not patrolling the cemeteries had been crawling with vamps the last two nights.

“By fledglings, you mean newly-risen vampires?”

“Yes.”

For a second Joyce just looked at her, before raising the paper again.

“If this keeps happening I’ll have to talk to Mr Giles, Buffy.” Joyce said, too casually, “You know I’m trying to accept, but I don’t want the ‘slaying’ to affect your studies.”

“It won’t. Promise.” Like she had any choice in the matter. Buffy threw a glance at the clock and, hell, she’d have to run to school.

She rushed to the door, grabbing her jacket on the way and calling a goodbye to her Mom from the doorway.

***

It was almost like he’d been waiting for the quiet swing of the doors opening. Waiting for her.

The instant she entered the library, he stood in the office doorway, a look on his face she couldn’t read. She tightened the grip on the book in her hand.

“What’s up, Giles?” she asked, forcing herself not to slow down but instead – in a hopefully perky way – hop onto the counter. She wasn’t sure she succeeded. God, had she been this easily shaken before him?

Of course not, a bitter voice answered her. It sounded suspiciously like her own.

In that moment she really, really wished she could just stand up and decide that from now on, she would be a new Buffy - a Buffy who actually was Buffy the Slayer. And the new Buffy would ask Giles what the danger was and then go out alone and eliminate it. Then she’d go home and Mom wouldn’t wait up, because Mom wouldn’t worry, not so much anyway, and when Spike showed up… When Spike showed up she would tell him to go to hell. And he would go away and she wouldn’t have this strange feeling in her gut anymore.

“Buffy, I’ve looked at this… mind-reading you and Spike shared, again…” Giles drew in a deep breath. “I’m afraid there may be complications we didn’t foresee.”

Giles words reached her and she was abruptly thrown back into reality as her heart started to pound. Feeling it hammer against her ribcage made her more conscious about herself. About what she wasn’t.

“Buffy?” She felt a large, warm hand on her shoulder and barely managed to stop herself from flinching. Perhaps Giles noticed anyway; when he spoke again his voice had softened a little. “This is very important, you know.”

“Yeah, okay,” she murmured, drawing in a deep breath. Straightening her shoulders she shook her head before turning back to the Watcher. His hand dropped and he stepped back.

“I don’t know if it’ll ever stop,” he said after a couple of seconds.

“What?”

“The mind-reading.” Giles met her gaze. “I have no idea if you’ve already shared all your memories with Spike now or if the link will ever disappear – among those demons it never does. Both of you will constantly experience things and eventually you’ll be forced to share them.”

It wouldn’t disappear? Not ever? Buffy blinked hard. “What… The mind-reading will start again?”

“Someday, yes,”

“So… we what? Just go around waiting for it to…” An almost hysterical giggle passed her lips. “There has to be something we can do, something…” Her voice died out.

“Indeed there are some options,” Giles said. “I’ve researched possible ways of solving this and have had contact with an old acquaintance who has suffered from a similar experience.”

Relief flooded her and she closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them anew she saw Giles watching her, that unreadable expression back on his face.

“And?” she said.

“Buffy, the best way to be rid of this is to kill Spike.”

TBC

Chapter 23

With her arms wrapped around herself she walked towards the exit, listening to the other students chattering, listening without hearing. Next class would start in ten minutes. Not even considering attending it she turned around and headed for the doors while Giles’ words replayed over and over in her head.

Maybe she could just pull herself together and do it. But then came the problem that she literally couldn’t do it; Spike was a better fighter than she was. When they had sparred last time he had been almost toying with her, and she doubted she’d improved much in just a couple of weeks. Really, what spoke against Spike not taking her down instead, except the whole ‘needing a Slayer for my revenge’-thing. If the two of them got into a life or death struggle she was pretty sure he wouldn’t spare her. Buffy was just about to open the doors when she heard a shout behind her.

“Buffy, wait up!”

Looking over her shoulder Buffy saw Alex hurrying after her. As the girl reached her she attempted a real smile, holding the door open.

“Whoa,” Alex said, arching an eyebrow, “Did your dog die?”

The smile failed then. Buffy sighed, motioning the brunette through the doorway before she herself followed.

“I can’t fool you, can I?” Buffy said.

“So your dog did die?”

A picture went up in her head of Spike wearing a pink collar with metal studs. Her mind must be running on overtime. Either that or she was going crazy.

“No,” she said, “I don’t have a dog. Not sure I even like them.”

A short pause and then Alex’s features suddenly lit up. “So it’s your cat which died then!”

That cracked a real smile and giggling Buffy smacked the girl lightly on the arm. “You’re so silly!”

“Got you laughing, didn’t I?” Alex’s eyes twinkled.

Buffy rolled her eyes and the brunette smile grew wider for a couple of seconds, before her expression abruptly turned serious.

“But something’s happened, hasn’t it?” Alex asked. “Do you want to talk about it?”

All of sudden Buffy wanted nothing more than to share with the other girl, if only to have some comfort and an ‘I’m sure you’ll figure out what to do’-speech. She pressed her lips tightly together for a moment.

“Giles… he and I are pretty close,” she said, before hastily adding; “but not in a gross sort of way.”

A low chuckle. “Yeah, I know, it seems like you talk to him a lot.”

“I do, or… I did. Anyhow, I have this… friend that Giles really doesn’t approve of. For a while we… sneaked around I guess, but some stuff happened and Giles found out.”

Even if she couldn’t go into details, just talking about it made it feel like a small burden was lifted off her shoulders.

“What kind of stuff?” Alex asked, the look on her face completely neutral.

“I… he, my friend I mean, told me about some stuff he’d done and it was bad. Like way, way bad… dark. I feel like, he fooled me, like he pretended to be someone he wasn’t.” Buffy slowly blinked. “But it was probably really me putting him in a role he… he couldn’t play.”

It was the truth, she realized. Spike had never really hidden who or what he was. She remembered the night he’d spoken to her about his past, the rawness of it; no beautifying, no trying to make it seem less dark or dirty for her sake.

“So Giles found out about this guy’s past too?” Alex asked.

“He kind of already knew,” Buffy said. “That’s why he didn’t want me to become friends with the guy from the beginning.”

“I see.” Alex turned to look at her. “Has he, this guy I mean, ever hurt you?”

“Not… not deliberately I think.”

Slowly a small, sad smile spread across Alex’s lips.

“The way I see it,” she said, “we all have pasts we can’t change. All of us have done things we regret and can’t do anything about it.” The smile seemed to turn ironic for the flash of a second before the brunette continued, “Sometimes I think that as… as long as we try to do better, the past doesn’t really matter. As long as we try to do something good of the future.”


***


Spike blinked.

The Slayer was climbing out of the window, and he hadn’t even had time to throw a pebble at it. In fact he was still standing in the shadows; there was no way she could’ve seen him.

He blinked anew.

The girl had landed on the ground, now glancing from side to side once as she twirled a stake in her hand. For a second he almost thought she’d seen him, but then she swung around and started for, he supposed, the cemeteries. By herself. Without the Watcher.

He had seriously considered approaching her on patrol since she’d started going out again a couple of days ago, but the older man had been with her every night.

But now, here she suddenly was, all alone in the dark. A slow grin spread across Spike’s lips and he took a step forward.

A frown marred his features as he followed her. Not that he hadn’t been right; she was heading for the cemeteries, but because she was acting strange. He would’ve expected her to be uptight, glancing around, heart pounding. After all, this had to be her first official patrol alone. Instead she staked two fledglings almost absently; going through the motions. She would get herself killed in no time at this rate.

About fifteen minutes had passed when the girl came to a sudden halt.

“Are you planning on following me all night?”

Spike flinched before sheepishly stepping out from behind the crypt.

“I don’t wanna talk to you, Spike,” she said, and in a way as if her whole body strained against it, turned towards him. He stepped forward again and then stopped abruptly when she backed. He waited for her to say something, only to start counting the seconds that ticked by.

One-thousand-thousand.

Two-thousand-thousand.

Her hand flexed around the stake.

Five-thousand-thousand.

She drew in a trembling breath, her hand rose slightly, only to drop again.

Nine-thousand-thousand.

“I don’t think I can do it.”

He stopped counting. “What?”

Another long moment of staring passed, but it was like she stared without really looking. Her eyes were empty.

“Kill you.”

As soon as the words left her mouth she clamped it shut, eyes wide. Spike slowly tilted his head to the side. For a moment he was quiet before giving a lopsided smile without feeling.

“So you and the Watcher aren’t new best friends then?” he asked, a strange feeling of amused bitterness filling him.

She mumbled something that sounded like a protest but put the stake into the pocket of her jacket.

He gave a small chuckle. “Well, you’ve patrolled a lot with him lately.”

“My usual patrol partner turned out to be…” She hastily shook her head. “You’re missing the point!”

“What point?” He arched an eyebrow. “That you’re gonna kill me?” He couldn’t help but snort.

Her eyes narrowed. “I could take you any day.”

His other eyebrow rose as well and her shoulders slumped. “Right, so I couldn’t,” she said, “But I’d give you a fair match!”

“Sure you would.”

“I would!”

“Oh, come on, love, how many times have we sparred?”

Something flickered in her eyes. “Um… three times maybe? I dunno.”

He was just about to answer that when she raised a hand. “Yeah, yeah, you’ve won every time… but you cheat!”

“Do not.”

“Argh! You –“ Closing her eyes she drew in a deep breath before opening them again. “We’re having an important conversation here!”

“About what? You not killing me?”

“Yes! No.”

“No? So what are we talking about?”

“You’re driving me crazy!”

“We’re talking about me driving you crazy?” He couldn’t keep a small grin from stretching his lips.

For a moment she went back to just staring at him and then she started to laugh. Doubled over with both arms clasped across her stomach, the laugh soon turned hysterical. Spike took a step forward, all his amusement melting away.

Slowly the girl slid to the ground. He saw the first tear escape her eye as she drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them.

“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered, “Mom won’t stop worrying, Giles is waiting for some kind of miracle… me just standing up and fixing myself. This mind-thing won’t ever disappear, you won’t disappear… him…”

He noted what she said about the ‘mind-thing’, but what had him startle was her last word. “You haven’t seen Angelus, have you?”

She shook her head, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “No, no.” A crooked smile spread over her lips. “I’m just waiting for the day he’ll show up and finally finish me off.”

Next second he was crunched down before her, gripping her shoulders tightly. “Listen to me, you silly girl,” he said, voice tight with anger as he shook her, once, twice. “Angelus won’t ever ‘finish you off’. You’ll get better, hell, you’ve already got better. I still remember the girl who flinched at the sound of my voice.” His grip eased a little as he watched her lowered head. “For the rest… of course your mum worries; it’s what mothers do. And your bloody Watcher knows better than to expect you to suddenly take on the world, otherwise he wouldn’t have gone with you on patrol every single night for the last week.”

Slowly she raised her head and he was met by wet, red eyes. “What about the mind-thing?” she whispered. “How can we fix that?”

He cupped her cheek. “We’ll figure something out, love, it’s what you white hats do,” he said, then paused, “Of course, it’d be easier if you told me what’s happened.”

She giggled a little and he offered a half grin. The giggles quickly died though and she closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath before opening them again.

“Thank you,” she whispered, meeting his gaze a moment before it dropped to her knees. “I’m sorry… you always seem to be around for my breakdowns.”

He just shrugged and pulled back.

The girl ran both hands through her hair, trying to smooth it out when it wasn’t really tousled at all. Not that he’d tell her that. It was too much fun seeing that little wrinkle form between her eyebrows as she tried to fix it. Before long though, she gave up with a sigh and crossed her arms over her chest.

“So, when will our mind-chatting start over again?” Spike asked, carefully making himself sound casual.

“Right,” she said, straightening her shoulders. “We’ll keep gaining new memories, so we’ll keep sharing them. Giles doesn’t even know how much of out memories we’ve shared so far.”

He flinched. “Yeah, about that…”

An absolute silence filled the air for a long minute, save for her thundering heart.

“I can’t say it doesn’t matter,” she said quietly. “When I think about what you’ve done… parts of it… it makes me sick.” When he opened his mouth to speak she raised a hand. “But it’s in the past and you can’t change it. And– you’ve never really hurt me, or threatened me.”

“Are you saying…?”

“I’ll help you kill them. After we’ve solved the mind-stuff –” She swallowed hard. “– I’ll help you. But you have to stop killing.”

“One step ahead of you.” He smirked even as relief flooded him.

“Huh?”

“Figured I’d stop killing to try and make you talk to me again,” he admitted. “Get on your good side.”

“Promise me.” she said. “Promise me you won’t kill another human until…” …this is over…

He was struck by how young she was, how naïve. Before they’d shared memories, she probably hadn’t even thought about the people he’d killed just since he’d come to town. He could promise now, still go out and hunt and she’d never know a thing. The only thing stopping him…

Suddenly she was a lot closer, her eyes, without innocence, inches from his. Her breath was hot against his face.

He walked her home.

TBC

Chapter 24


Spike was on his way from the Summers’ house back to his crypt when a loud, slurping sound had him glancing to his left. A pair of amber eyes met his just as the other vampire let the body in his arms slump to the ground. Disregarding the other vamp, Spike was about to continue on his way.

“Um… hi.”

Halting for a brief moment Spike threw another look over his shoulder, but could still only see two glowing eyes. He had just decided to stand by his decision to ignore the other, when the fledgling – he would’ve felt it if the demon was a strong one – stepped out into the streetlight.

“How’ve you been?” the vamp asked, scuffing his foot against the asphalt, gaze darting from Spike to somewhere beside him and back again.

Spike took a step forward, trying to get a clearer picture of the other vampire. Something was vaguely familiar about those nervous movements.

“Guess you’ve been just fine, huh? I’ll just be on my way to…” the fledgling said, starting to back down the street.

“Hang on a second there, mate. Do I know you?”

Confusion fell over the younger one’s face before it suddenly lit up and his features melted into human. “Silly me. Last time we met I wasn’t wearing my fangs,” he said.

Spike studied the vampire in front of him, tilting his head to the side. Something was achingly familiar about him but he couldn’t quite put his finger on…

“We met at Willy’s? Talking about the Slayer?” The fledgling’s last word was but a whisper.

“Right.” Spike tapped his fingers against his thigh. “Sorry, mate, but I can’t recall your…”

“Randall.”

The young vampire fidgeted uneasily and Spike was reminded of the night when he’d last been to Willy’s; the fledgling who had been seated next to him and flinched at his every word.

“Oh, I remember you now,” Spike said, patting his pockets in search for his pack of smokes.

“That’s…” Randall swallowed audibly, “good.”

Silence fell as Spike stuck a cigarette between his lips and watched amused as the younger vamp shuffled his feet.

“So…” the fledgling said, “Did you and the Slayer make up?”

Spike’s nostrils flared and Randall continued hastily, “Not that you’re together or anything! I mean it’d only be for some purely evil purpose you must’ve planned to even think of being with the Slayer, which you must’ve planned since you’re spending time with her.” Though it was hard to mistake the nervous trembling in his voice, Randall went through his whole little speech without rushing at all. It was fortunate he didn’t need to breathe, Spike mused.

Spike took a deep drag of his cigarette, rolling it between his fingers as he blew out the smoke. “Not sure I’m following you… Randy,” he said coldly.

“Well, I just figured you must’ve joined forces with her for some evil p-purpose.” He smiled nervously.

Angelus’ dust spreading on the wind. Spike’s smile turned into a smirk. Although he was not sure if that was what you’d call an ‘evil purpose’. He frowned a little. Most would probably say it was a good purpose. Actually, one could almost see it as if he was helping the Slayer out.

“Yeah. Whatever.” Spike said absently.

Silence followed, a silence in which the fledgling squirmed uncomfortably as Spike carried on smoking. He shook his head, chasing the thoughts of the Slayer away and focused on the vampire across from him. He found it honestly surprising that Randall had managed to survive as long as he had. Minions were in general pretty stupid; unlike Childes they like lost a more vital part of their personality. There must be something that had stopped this one from falling onto a stake already; perhaps there was more to him than could be seen – or heard. Spike’s eyes were drawn to what could be a spot of blood on the other vamp’s lime green striped shirt. Or perhaps not. That didn’t mean he couldn’t be of use.

“So,” Spike said conversationally, “you hang out at Willy’s a lot?”

“Couple of nights a week.” A small shrug.

“I see…” He dropped the cigarette to the ground, watching it rush through the air and land on the ground, before he met Randall’s twitchy gaze. “You haven’t heard anything of what Angelus is up to, have you?”

“A little.” The fledgling buried as much of his hands as he could in his jeans’ pockets. “For a while there was this rumour that he was planning to destroy the world… I heard something about a guy, ‘Acathla’ or something, who was supposed to help.”

“Acathla? Are you sure?” Uh-uh. If Angelus had decided to raise Acathla they would have much less time than Spike had originally thought.

“Yeah, but that was just a rumour though, and I just heard it once. From a Lognare.”

They grinned at each other, Spike in relief; never believe what a Lognare demon tells you, their mouths are the largest part of their body, almost literally speaking.

“There was this other thing I heard Drusilla saying myself, not that I get much of what she says.” He giggled. “Something about her not allowing the end to close in so soon, but that was a while ago. Just after I’d been turned.”

“The end to close in?”

“Yeah, I remember it because a vamp told me this demon had arrived to Sunnydale who could do great mind-control and I’m not speaking of a thrall! Can you imagine…”

But Spike wasn’t listening anymore. The end closing in. He’d learned early not to dismiss Dru’s ramblings, however little sense they made. Something else poked at his mind and he turned to the younger vampire again, who was still speaking.

“…happened to me but I –“

“How did you hear Dru saying that?” He broke the younger one off. “I can’t really imagine her stopping to chat to you, did you overhear it?”

“She was the one to turn me,” Randall said. “Angelus brought me to her and she took a liking to me… until I rose… then I think she forgot all about me. Didn’t even notice when I went out to hunt or when I came back.” The last sentence he mumbled. “Angelus would have staked me if he hadn’t been too busy laughing after I showed Drusilla my stamp collection…” His lower lip trembled for a second. “I would’ve given her a real nice one if she’d just…” He broke off with a small sniffle.

“Stamps?” He couldn’t help chuckle. The fledgling’s lips pressed tightly together and he glared at Spike.

“Sorry, mate,” he said, not overly sincerely, “Somehow I just can’t imagine Dru in awe of stamps. Doubt she’s even grasped the meaning of them.”

Now Randall actually scowled at him, swinging around to walk away. Spike grabbed his shoulder before he could take a step though and the fledgling froze under his hand.

“Come on, Randy,” he said, laughing between the words, “she can be a little hard to impress, Dru, your safest card is to go for something sparkling. Or with a heartbeat.”

“Fuck off,” Randall said, sulking.

“Sorry,” he said at last, without a hint of apology, giving a last chuckle. “Let’s go back to those rumours, shall we?”

“I don’t know anything else,” the fledgling muttered, trying to pull away.

Spike’s grip tightened a little. “You sure about that?” he asked, then lowering his voice; “‘Cause I’d hate to have to hurt you.”

“I promise!”

Turning the younger one around, Spike looked him straight in the eye for a moment. Then, with a pat on the cheek and another small chuckle, he let him go.

“Right then. See you around, Randy.”

And lit another cig as he walked away.


***


She really, really had to study. She had a math test tomorrow, which she’d never pass if she didn’t get going. Though she doubted she’d pass it anyhow. Absently, Buffy drew a small heart in the margin beside the ugly rose she’d finished seconds ago. Then she sighed; waiting sucked big time.

Checking the clock yet again she saw that the minute hand hadn’t moved at all. Alex had promised to help her out when they’d met this morning, but there were still three minutes left until she was due to show up. The other girl had already passed the test, and even though she was far from Willow-level, she was still smarter than Buffy. Probably because she studied way more. Despite that most teachers had gone easy on her since she came back to school Buffy was still behind in many subjects.

Right. No worrying. She didn’t really have time for it anyway. With another sigh she finished her fourth flower doodle and attempted to concentrate on the equations.

“Hi Buffy. How’s it going?”

Buffy looked up just as a grinning Alex sat down across from her, dropping a bunch of books onto the table.

“Not so great,” she said with a grimace.

The brunette reached over the table and flipped Buffy’s math book shut. Glancing down at it, Buffy furrowed her brows.

“And now, strangely, it’s even worse,” she said.

“Tell me how it’s going with that friend of yours,” Alex said. “Did you speak to him?”

Buffy blinked before dropping her gaze to the worn cover of her math book.

“Um… yeah, I did actually,” she said. “We talked and he promised not to… I think we’re gonna be okay.”

Alex watched her for a moment, her expression unreadable, before a slow smile blossomed over her face. Blossom was the perfect word for it; the expression seemed so completely genuine and happy. Buffy felt an answering smile tug at her own lips.

“That’s great,” the other girl said.

“Yeah.” Buffy glanced down anew, she didn’t really want to discuss what had happened last night and hoped Alex wouldn’t ask any questions. Her gaze slid to the pile of books on the other side of the table. “Are you actually planning to read all those?”

“You mean, all three?” The smile turned into a teasing grin.

Buffy ignored it and reached for the book on the top. The title, Playing For the Ashes, was written in big purple letters along the bottom of the cover.

“My sister gave it to me last year,” Alex said with a small shrug. “I don’t really like detective stories so I haven’t read it, figured I would now.”

“Let’s hope it’s good then,” Buffy said, reaching for the next book in the pile. This one was much worn, as if it had been read thousand times. Gently, she ran a hand along its spine.

“Have you read Blake?”

“A little, in class. I don’t really do poetry.”

Buffy received a pitying look that clearly said she didn’t know what she was missing. Then something sparkled in her eyes, something Buffy wasn’t sure she liked.

“I bet I could change your mind,” Alex said, holding her hand out for the book and Buffy handed it to her. “How about I read you something? Then you can tell me you don’t like it.” She started leafing through the pages. “I suppose you’ve read The Tyger and A Poison Tree…”

She stopped abruptly, staring at the open book. Slowly, she lifted a hand to gently caress the page. Buffy couldn’t help but lean forward a little, watching the girl across from her.

“Maybe I should read The Tyger for you…” Alex said, though it sounded as if she was speaking mostly to herself, especially as she gave a small, bitter laugh. “’Did He who made the lamb make thee?’” She paused, deep in thought, the silence lengthening until she shook her head and looked at Buffy with a small smile. “Sorry, minor zone out.”

Buffy smiled a little; after all, she herself was the queen of zoning, or at least she had been until just lately. “Will you read me something?” she asked, finding herself actually wanting it.

There was a brief silence. Slowly Alex’s gaze slid from the open book to Buffy before she shut it and passed it over.

“Borrow it. You can read all of it on your own.”

“Alex, I’m not sure…” She really didn’t like poetry, or reading at all actually, but she didn’t want to hurt the girl’s feelings.

“Just give it a chance and if you don’t like it…” Alex shrugged. “No hard feelings if you try it and then give it back.”

“Right. I’ll give it a try” One page max. Buffy patted the book. “I shall treat it with the greatest care.”

“I damn well hope so,“ Alex said. “Now, lets kick some math.”


***


“When do you think you’ll be home tonight?”

Joyce’s tone was light, although it couldn’t completely conceal her worry. Buffy pressed a quick kiss to her mother’s cheek as she tucked a stake into the waistband of her jeans.

“Sometime after midnight,” she said. “I’ll try to cut it short tonight, I have a test tomorrow.”

“Have you studied?”

“It’s in math, Mom.” Buffy grimaced. “I had some help from a friend today but I’ll probably still flunk.”

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine,” Mom said reassuringly.

“And maybe pigs will start to fly.” Glancing out through the window she saw Spike standing by the mailbox. “I gotta go. Don’t wait up.”

“Bye, honey.” A moment of hesitation. “Have fun!”

Buffy stifled a giggle. “Thanks, Mom.”

Spike’s eyes were on her the second she slipped through the door; must be those pesky super-senses of his.

“Hello, love,” he said as she reached him.

Yesterday he hadn’t looked that good; somewhat gaunt in his black attire and with worry lines around his eyes. That gaunt look hadn’t disappeared but there was a new-found sparkle in his eyes.

“Hi.”

They watched each other for a moment. Should she just pretend that nothing had happened? Should they discuss the actual happenings some more?

“So, you and your mum have worked things out?” Spike asked, glancing at the back door. “I heard you two talking.”

Her eyes flew to his. “You were eavesdropping?”

“I can’t just stop hearing, you know,” he said, and she was reminded of how she only a minute ago had thought of his grand senses. “Anyway, that wasn’t a conversation full of secrets now, was it?”

“Guess not.”

He started walking and she fell in step beside him.

“So, how are you and your mum doing?” he asked and she actually thought he was sincere in his question.

“Really good. Great even,” she said. “She’s still acting… Mom-like, worrying and such, but she really tries to be understanding.”

He smiled. “Happy to hear that.”

“Thanks.”

It took them about two hours to sweep the cemeteries. Spike let her do most of the fighting, only joining in when they met a group of three vampires and to break the neck of a bulky, blue demon that spat poison toxic to humans but not to vampires. “Seen it happening, I have. Parts of the man’s skin just melted,” was Spike’s words after he’d finished it off. She found herself very happy that he’d jumped in.

When they were slowly walking back towards Revello Drive she knew she’d have to bring up yesterday’s discussion, if one could even call it that. They had been walking in silence for most of the patrol, only occasionally commenting on the demons they were fighting. She sneaked a glance at him out of the corner of one eye. He walked with his hands buried in his pockets, steps long and sure. A month ago she’d never have noticed the tension in his shoulders.

“Spike?”

The tension became even more visible.

“Yeah?”

Slowing down, her brow furrowed for a moment, before she let out a short laugh. “God, I don’t know where to start,” she said.

He gave a half smile to that. “Know what you mean.”

About ten more steps were taken in silence.

“So, what are we gonna do?” she asked. “With the ‘thought reading’-thing, I mean.”

“Have you spoken to the Watcher?”

“A little, he’s researching it. At least I think he is.”

They could see her house now, a lamp in Mom’s bedroom was lit. She was probably staying up reading one of those vampire books of hers.

“Perhaps you should ask him, pet,” Spike said. “Discuss the situation with him. He’s your Watcher, after all.”

“Probably,” she sighed. “But then I’d have to tell him that we… eh… ‘made up’ as well.”

“He’ll be going on about ‘evil vampires’ and the ‘duties of the Chosen One’.” Spike smirked evilly. “You’re in for one hell of a lecture, Slayer.”

She shuddered. “I don’t even want to think about what he’s gonna say.” Her voice became a whisper; “He’ll be real disappointed in me.”

The smirk melted away and a hesitant hand touched her shoulder just as they reached the house.

“Sooner or later he’ll get over it. No worries.”

“Hopefully,” she muttered. “But I’ll talk with him. It’s not like I have a choice, is it?”

“Suppose not,” he said and then continued thoughtfully. “Guess I could pull some strings, beat up a few demons. See if anyone knows anything… Toddle off inside now, Slayer.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Count on it.”


TBC

Chapter 25


”Have you completely lost your mind?”

Buffy cringed and gripped the armrests of her chair tightly.

“Even though you’ve been the Slayer less than six months,” Giles continued, “I would expect you to have better judgement than this. Demons are not trustworthy…”

She didn’t listen as he continued to preach. Memories of other conversations they'd had over the last weeks played up in her head and she could easily foresee the outcome of this one. She saw herself nodding, shying away, only from the sound of Giles’ voice. I am supposed to be the Slayer.

Very slowly she rose from her seat. Giles frowned and halted in what seemed to be the middle of his speech.

“… Buffy?”

Abruptly she spun around to face him fully.

“Don’t you get it?!” she asked, “I need Spike to kill Angelus and Drusilla! Do you really think I can take them by myself? I can’t do it, Giles! Don’t you understand?! I can’t!”

They stared at each other; she panting briskly, he looking almost shocked. She drew in a deep breath.

“I’m not strong enough, Giles,” she said, “I can’t handle them on my own. Spike and I’ve made a deal; he… he won’t kill anyone while he’s in town.”

For another moment Giles was completely still, then, face showing nothing of how he felt, he said; “And how are we supposed to cut off the bond you have to this evil, blood drinking demon if not by killing him?”

“You’re the Watcher here! You’re supposed to have all the answers!!”

“Well, I bloody don’t!” Giles took a step forward, gesturing to the books on the table. “You don’t think I’ve tried to find another way? I know how dangerous Spike is, Buffy, and I also know you’re not ready to face him in a fight. But that doesn’t take away the fact that he is an evil vampire and you the Chosen One.”

A short, completely humourless laugh spilled over her lips.

“So… what?” she said, “If I take Spike out, then I’ll be ready for Angelus? You’re gonna send me out to get killed?!”

He flinched.

“You were, weren’t you?” she said, her throat closing. “You know I’m not what I was and still you were gonna…”

“Of course not,” he said, “I don’t mean to send you out right this second! We’re supposed to train and…” He broke off.

Slowly she took a step backwards. “I-I can’t take this right now,” she said, blinking to keep the tears from falling as she began to turn away. Giles quickly put a hand on her shoulder.

“We must talk this through, Buffy,” he said, “While you run off William the Bloody is out there killing innocent humans.”

She wrenched herself free.

“I told you, he promised me not to kill anyone!”

“And you believe him?” Giles asked. “You think you can trust an evil –“

“– soulless creature,” she finished, cutting him off. “At least he doesn’t expect me to be the me I was before Angelus. Maybe you wish Spike hadn’t got ten me out of there and you’d have a nice new trauma-free Slayer by now!”

Something she wasn’t able to identify flashed in Giles’ eyes – hurt perhaps, or anger. She couldn’t bring herself to care. She saw he was on his way to say something more and raised a hand.

“Don’t you think I know he can turn on me any minute?” she said, continuing before he had time to answer. “However, I do believe he’ll keep his word as long as we work together.” She spat the last word out before turning on her heel and rushing out of the library.


***


Spike wasn’t particularly fond of using the sewers. The strongest reason was the stench; no matter if he told himself not to breath, he would still find himself inhaling from time to time. It was a reflex; scenting the air. The other reason was the sunlight, which was why he used the sewers in the first place. Sunlight-hours were sleep-hours, not ‘walking about’-hours.

Today, when he’d woken up in the early afternoon, he’d had too much on his mind to go back to sleep, hence this little stroll. Of course, it had taken an hour of pacing and pondering before he got this idea and another thirty-seven minutes for him to take the decision that the stench was worth it.

Slowing down a little, as he got closer to the sewer entrance to Willy’s, he listened carefully. Lately there had been more and more demons that weren’t too friendly towards him. They saw him as a betrayer; hanging around the Slayer was always wrong no matter your intentions, even if he could’ve said what they were. If word came out he was planning on killing Angelus no one knew what other demons’ reaction would be. Spike might be supported just as easily as beaten to a pulp and he didn’t fancy having to look over his shoulder anymore than he already did.

The risk of being beaten up was also the reason he was being extra cautious now; lately there were more and more demons who didn’t think anything deeper than ‘The traitor vamp! Kill him!’ when they saw him. And some afternoons at Willy’s there were already demons showing up, or some who’d never left.

It didn’t sound like there were especially many inside the bar though. He took the last step to the worn door and warily pushed it open. Still he only heard Willy’s quick heartbeat and another, much slower. No screaming, snoring or crashing. Spike sauntered inside.

He had been almost right in his guessing. Willy was there, turning fallen chairs and a table upright. An almost human looking demon, except for the blue skin, was sitting by the bar and a vampire was lounging in a corner were the only customers. It looked like there had been some kind of fight here last night. There were a couple of broken chairs and spatters of blood on the floor. The sound of a crunch under his foot alerted Willy.

“Oh, hey, Spike,” he said, standing and drying his hands on a dirty cloth. He had dark circles under his eyes. “What can I do for you?”

Spike sauntered across the room and took a stool by the bar. The blue demon looked up for a moment then returned to its drink. Willy slung the cloth over his shoulder and walked behind the bar.

“JD?” he asked, already setting a glass in front of Spike.

He must be really worn out, Spike mused, watching the man move over to get the bottle and returning. No stammering and he barely flinched when Spike leaned closer to him as he poured the whisky.

“Long night?” Spike asked.

“Yeah,” Willy said. “Three Polgaras came in here last night, looking for a fight.”

“Violent bastards, Polgaras.”

Spike took a sip from the glass and put it down again, fingers drumming against the bar. Slowly he leaned back in his stool.

“I’m looking for this demon,” he said. “Or any demon of this species, actually.”

“What species?” Willy asked, starting to dry the counter with his cloth.

“Don’t know the name of it. Big, green skin, feels like it’s covered in crusted lumps, long arms. The one I met was limping, dunno if that goes for the whole kind though.”

“That sounds like a Mrox.” Willy threw a curious look at Spike. “They’ve some dangerous powers, why’d you want to get in touch with them?”

A flash of fangs and the man hastily shrank back.

“R-right! N-none of my business.” he said.

“Damn right,” Spike said. “So, are there any in town?”

“Actually, there is a pack living around here. I remember them being upset when one of them was killed…” He threw a glance at Spike who looked back while his fingers took up the tapping again. “C-close to the school, underground. I don’t know exactly where.”

Spike studied the man’s expression and decided he was telling the truth. Quickly he emptied his glass and stood. As he walked back to the sewer entrance he heard Willy say “Could you move over a little, m-miss? I-I need to swab of the blood here.” and was answered with a growl. It was a miracle the man had survived for so long.


***


Don’t you understand?!

You were gonna send me out there to get killed?!

He doesn’t expect me to be the me I was before Angelus.

Have you completely lost your mind?

Maybe she had.

In any case she’d behaved far from grown-up, but on the other hand Giles hadn’t been on his best either. She may have acted like a spoiled… Slayer, but at least she had stood up for herself. An hour of pondering, while trying to look like she was interested of whatever Mrs Jones was talking about, had convinced her of that much.

Slowly she pushed the library doors open. Next second Giles poked his head out from his office.

“Hey, Giles,” she said, managing a half smile.

“Buffy.”

He stepped out and went over to sit by the table and she joined him. They eyed each other for a moment before Giles cracked a real, almost pleased, smile.

“You’re not too angry with me then?” Buffy said.

“We had an argument, Buffy,” Giles said. “I was angry at the moment and still don’t agree with you, but I definitely could’ve handled the situation better. Honestly, I didn’t expect you to put up such a fight.”

She couldn’t keep herself from grinning at him.

“Better than sitting back and just taking it, right?” she said, then sobered. “I’m sorry too, Giles, I shouldn’t have said some of those… things. I didn’t mean… some of it.”

He met her gaze.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have. It was probably good it came out in the open though. I am proud that you didn’t back down. And Buffy...” He leaned forward to place a hand over hers. "I've never wished for another Slayer."


***


It wasn’t too hard to find the Mroxes’ lair. There were sewers directly underneath the school, what with the hellmouth being there and all. When Spike got so far, all he had to do was follow the smell of rotten meat.

As he got closer he started to hear what sounded like growling to his ears, but most certainly was the demons speaking to each other. He slowed down, trying to count them. It was difficult; they all sounded the same and either did they not have hearts, or were they so quiet that he couldn’t pick up their beats at this distance. He’d have to try and get a look before deciding how to handle this.

Only ten feet ahead there was a sharp turn to the right. On soundless feet, Spike inched closer and cautiously looked around it. A large room with stonewalls, there was no furniture in it except for a table in one corner with a pair of sturdy chairs. A carcass of some sort lay in a corner, human or animal, impossible to tell. On the walls were torches, a couple of them lit and they cast enough light for Spike to see the creatures. He counted to six of them, lying on the floor or ‘talking’ to each other. There could be more demons though; there was another tunnel across from him.

Spike leaned back so he couldn’t be spotted if a demon decided to look his way. This would’ve been so much simpler if there hadn’t been so many of them. Perhaps he should come back tonight and hope that most had gone out hunting. If he waltzed in there now and they were of the sort that killed first and asked later...

Just as he’d come to the conclusion that it’d be wiser to return later, a heavy hand landed on his shoulder. A hand with pointed fingers which looked very sharp. A growl from behind him and he swung around.

“Easy there, mate,” he said.

Another growl but this time he thought he could hear some variation in it, though it wasn’t close to any of the languages he could speak, not even to Fyral. The demon poked him in the chest and growled again.

“I don’t speak ‘Mroxish’ or whatever the hell you call it,” Spike said, taking a step to the right in an attempt to get around it. The demon very pointedly stepped in his way.

“Angelus?” the demon said with a strong accent. It poked him again. “You… Angelus?”

“No, no.” Spike shook his head. “I’m no friend of Angelus.”

“No?”

“No.”

The demon still looked suspicious and then, before Spike could react, it grabbed his arm and pushed into the lair. Every head in there turned towards him. The Mrox behind him took hold of both his wrists and Spike’s fear of having these needle fingers slicing through his back held him motionless – for the moment at least. It growled, said, something and another demon came over to them. The new one stepped into Spike’s personal space and stared down at him. Spike stared back. A series of growls rumbled from behind him.

“Why are you here?” This one had a heavy accent as well, but its vocabulary in English was hopefully greater.

“Want answers to some questions,” Spike said.

All demons turned towards a third demon, who was sitting leant against a wall, and an absolute silence followed. Must be talking telepathically, Spike thought. Finally the grip around his wrists eased and he was shoved up against a wall.

“Stay,” said the one who’d held him.

The demon by the wall, the pack leader probably, had risen and was walking over to them while English was hovering over Spike. The other demons were settling again, lying down or sitting, most of them seemingly ignoring them. Most likely they were listening with their minds instead of their ears.

“What kind of questions?” English asked as the pack leader reached them.

Spike studied the two of them for a second before answering. “I and a friend of mine ran into one of you lot some weeks ago,” he said slowly, “Got into a fight.”

“You! You killed –” A high pitched growl followed, which presumably was a name.

All the demons turned towards Spike again, a couple of them snarling angrily.

“No!” Spike said quickly, “I didn’t kill him, we got into a fight but no one was killed. Did find him dead some days later though.”

His words didn’t put an end to the snarls or the glares but then the pack leader inclined his head and everyone quieted abruptly.

“You know who did it?” English asked.

“No idea.”

Someone in the group muttered ‘Angelus’.

The Mrox who’d caught him stepped closer.

“You not… kill?” it asked. “William Bloody… friend of… Slayer.”

More snarls echoed in the lair and a couple of the demons stood anew. The pack leader’s yellow eyes fixed upon him.

“I didn’t kill him!” Spike said, raising both hands into the air, “And I’m no friend of the Slayer.”

“But you’ve been seen with her,” English insisted and the other demons had yet to quiet.

“I need her to take revenge on my Sire!”

The pack leader tilted his head anew and the snarls died out, though the demons who had risen didn’t sit down again. Spike sincerely hoped he wasn’t shaping up for a fight.

“What questions do you want answered?” English asked.

“When me and my friend got into a fight with your pack member we got some of his blood on us… or erm… I got blood on me and then I touched her. Anyhow, couple of days later we could speak to each other with our minds.”

English and the one who’d caught Spike glanced at each other. The pack leader’s eyes glowered and then narrowed.

“And you aren’t dead?” English asked.

Spike snorted and leant back against the wall. “Obviously not.”

“The memory sharing should’ve killed you… It must be the vampire construction that kept you alive. Tell us, this friend of yours isn’t by any chance the Slayer, is it?”

Spike looked away and then met the leader’s eyes. “I mean no harm to you. All I want to know is how I take this mind-sharing away.”

“Away?” English made a sound resembling a laugh and a couple of the other demons joined in.

Spike tensed up. He’d been sure that if someone had the answer it would be the demons that’d done it.

Suddenly the pack leader took a step forward, so close its eyes were less than an inch from Spike’s. It drew in a sharp breath, scenting him, before abruptly turning around and starting for the entrance across from the one Spike had been pulled through.

“Come, vampire,” it said, voice hoarse as if it hadn’t spoken in a long while, never stopping to check if Spike actually was coming with.

Spike glanced around, asking himself if he should follow or grab what may be his best chance to flee. A hard push in the small of his back made the decision for him. English glared at him.

“Disrespectful!” the demon hissed. “Follow!”

Right.

This sewer had earth walls as well but it was wider and seemed to have seen more traffic than the one Spike had come through. The Mrox lead the way with confident strides, not acknowledging Spike at all for a good ten minutes as they steadily made their way through the maze of tunnels.

“So, mate, where’re we heading?” he asked, trying for casual.

“Nowhere,” the demon answered and Spike bet he could hear amusement in that voice.

“I make no covenant without my clan’s assent, vampire,” it continued, “However, that doesn’t mean they’re allowed to listen to all… conversations.”

He couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at that.

“As leader I have certain… advantages, you could say.” The demon slowed down a bit and let Spike fall in beside it. “You are favoured Childe of Angelus, yes?”

He snorted before he could help himself. “Angelus has no favoured Childes, mate. Only one he favours is himself.”

The demon threw him a curious glance. “I see,” it said. “So is that the reason you want to kill your Sire? Because you were not favoured?”

“What’s it to you?” Spike asked sharply.

The demon halted, golden eyes sparkling of amusement in the half dark as it tilted its head to the side. “One exchange of information for another, vampire,” it said with a small laugh. “After all, you do want to know how to stop your sharing of thoughts with the Slayer, don’t you?”

“So there is a way?”

The demon merely turned and started walking again. Of course, Spike thought, and after a deep sigh took a couple of long steps to catch up. He pressed his lips tightly together for a moment.

“Angelus has another Childe, Drusilla. You heard of her?” he asked.

“I have,” the demon said. “Insane, isn’t she?”

“More or less. Anyhow, spent most of my first century with the two of them, and Darla, of course, but she was dusted sometime in the fifties by the then Slayer.” He straightened his shoulders. “To cut a long story short; after I’d spent almost a hundred years with them Angelus left me to die.”

Spike really didn’t like the way the demon’s eyes sparkled as they were fixed on him.

“That was… a very short story, indeed,” it said, “Tell me about the time before that.”

Spike stopped, swinging around to stare the demon down. “I don’t get why you’re so damn nosy, mate!” he growled, “Why do you want to know any of this?”

And that sodding amusement was back in its eyes.

“Maybe I simply want to know if we can trust you,” it said, “how strong your intention to kill Angelus really is.”

“Why would you need to trust me?” Spike asked, taking a step forward so he was in the demon’s face. It simply leant closer.

“I have heard things, William,” it whispered, “There are a few rumours passing from demon to demon, or speculations you could say, about why William the Bloody is suddenly back at the hellmouth.”

“Now I need a reason? Lots of demons are drawn to this place.”

“Yes, but few have seen you and your Sire in the same city the last decade, therefore one can’t help but wonder.” Spike was about to remark on the demon’s prying again but it continued on before he could open his mouth. “You want to hear my speculations on why you want to take revenge on Angelus?”

“Not particularly, no,” Spike muttered.

It ignored his words. “I can smell the humanity on you, the purity mixed with the evil.” It gave a hiss before sighing. “But so I can on one of my own. Too much of that makes you vulnerable, vampire. I believe you wanted to belong to Angelus’ clan but he didn’t welcome you.”

Spike refused to look away as the demon continued.

“You wanted Angelus’ other Childe, this Drusilla, to be your mate, right? She refused you because of her Sire. You wanted Angelus’ respect, presumably even his love” it spat the word out, “and he kept laughing in your face. A poor leader, he is, you should deem your members first by their strengths, then their weaknesses.”

Reminding himself that he needed the demon’s help kept Spike from snarling at it. “Right,” he said in a low, tight, voice, “Now I have heard your bloody speculations, can we talk about how to fix this mind-rubbish now?”

“Soon enough,” it said.

Spike growled again but the demon ignored him.

“I respect you for what you’ve accomplished, killing those Slayers, and you wanting to kill your Sire is certainly… intriguing. I may have an agreement to offer you,” it said. “First though… tell me more about your Sire.”


***


His thoughts were spinning by the time he arrived at the Summers’ and he found himself pacing in the backyard when he sensed Buffy wasn’t home. Not his brightest move as he could, apparently, be seen through the window. After less than five minutes he heard a door open.

“Spike?”

Joyce. Hell.

“If you’re waiting for Buffy I’m afraid she won’t be home for another half an hour,” the woman said, stepping out on the back porch, “She called me to say she’d be training with Mr Giles this afternoon.”

Spike cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to another. “Would you mind much if I… waited for her? I really need to speak with your daughter. There’s no need for me to come inside, of course, I’ll just –“

“Don’t be silly, Spike,” she said, waving him inside, “I’d like to have a word with you, anyway.”

Closing his eyes for a second Spike forced a smile and went through the open door. He excepted a barrier and when there was none he found a real grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. The Slayer hadn’t uninvited him.

“So, you’re meeting up with Buffy tonight?” Joyce asked as he sat on a stool and she was rummaging through her cupboards, her back to him.

“Er… yeah, we’re supposed to patrol,” he answered.

“I see.” She threw a glance at him over her shoulder as she placed something on the counter. “Would you like some hot chocolate? I remember how much you enjoyed it last time. I’m not sure what vampires want… blood, I suppose, but –“

The low chuckle that escaped him broke her off. “Chocolate is fine, Joyce,” he said.

She smiled at him. “Good,” she said, walking over to the refrigerator to get some milk. “I can’t say I’m very happy about you pacing in our backyard though.”

If he could blush he would have.

“Next time I think you should come in,” she continued. “It’s really not polite of Buffy to expect you to wait outside.

Spike stared at Joyce’s back. This lady was really one of a kind.


***


“You did well today, Buffy,” Giles said, then cleared his throat, “I suppose you will be patrolling tonight?”

“With Spike,” she said, unbuckling her belt. “I’ll be patrolling with Spike.”

“Right.” Giles pursed his lips. “I don’t believe that discussion is completely over.”

She couldn’t help but giggle a little at that. “Didn’t think it would be,” she said, opening the door.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, I suppose,” he said.

“Yeah. Bye, Giles.”

Buffy got out of the car and watched him drive off before walking to the front door. She and Giles had spent the afternoon training with crossbows. He hadn’t really been able to refine her technique much; handling all sorts of weapons came with the Slayer-package, as far as she’d noticed. Still, it had been fun having some ‘Slayer Watcher’-time that didn’t consist of lectures about Spike or him for once.

Smiling to herself Buffy opened the door and slipped inside.

“I’m home!” she called, just as she started to feel that familiar tingle at the back of her neck. She almost froze, but then she recognized the signature of the vampire. Slowly she made her way to the kitchen, only to halt in the doorway. She blinked, looked, and blinked anew. Spike and Mom were sitting by the counter… talking?

“Hello, Buffy,” Mom said, smiling.

Spike smirked at her and took a sip from his mug.

“Um… hi,” she said, glancing from her mom to Spike and back again.

“Oh, Spike came to meet you and I invited him in,” Mom said, “I figured there’s no need for him to wait outside in the cold.”

“Right.” Buffy felt no need to point out that since Spike wasn’t alive, the cold didn’t bother him. At least she didn’t think it did.

Spike stood. “Now I think it’s time for me to leave though,” he said, “You up for patrol, Slayer?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

She must be imagining the slight disappointment on her mother’s face, right? She sure couldn’t be disappointed that Spike was leaving? Joyce’s gaze travelled over Buffy’s form thoughtfully. “Don’t you want something before you leave, honey?” she asked, “I don’t think you’re eating enough.”

Now Mom wanted to find a way to make Spike stay longer in the house. Buffy shook her head violently as she walked over to the vampire.

“I had something earlier,” she said.

Grabbing Spike’s wrist she pulled him over to the door and Joyce’s gaze immediately went to the grip. Mom’s eyebrows rose and Buffy felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. Hastily she let go and noticed that Spike was shaking with repressed laughter. As discreetly as possible, which wasn’t very discreetly at all, she stepped on his foot. Hard. His shaking became a sharp intake of breath.

“All right, Buffy,” Joyce said, watching the two of them, “I’ll see you in a couple of hours then.”

“Yes. Bye.” She hurried out of the door, pulling Spike along with her.

“Bye, Joyce, and thanks for the chocolate,” Spike said.

“Bye, Spike, it was nice meeting you again.”

As soon as the door closed Spike burst out laughing. Buffy scowled, not letting go of his wrist until she’d dragged him out with her to the street.

“What’s so damn funny?” she asked, glowering at him.

“The look on your face…” Spike shook his head, another chuckle slipping past his lips. “You do realize that your mum isn’t interested in me one bit, right?”

Logic told her so but… “She looked at you funnily,” Buffy muttered, “I didn’t like it.”

“Looked at me oddly how?” Spike said, amused, “She was worried about you not eating, probably didn’t like you heading straight out the minute you came home, either.”

Her shoulders slumped as realized the sense in his words and she sighed. “I acted like an idiot, didn’t I? Mom will think I’m about to have a breakdown again.”

“Or she’ll be miffed because you get to patrol with the sexy vampire and not her.”

She smacked him over the head.


TBC

Chapter 26


“That’s not funny!” Buffy said, but Spike could see the corners of her mouth turning upwards.

“Of course it is,” he said, grinning too.

That earned him another light smack, this time on the arm, and her twinkling eyes met his for a moment. She seemed to be in a good mood tonight. Or perhaps this was simply relief that her mother didn’t harbour any mushy feelings towards him. The whole idea was just ridiculous. The only reason Joyce had invited him inside was because she wanted to ask him about his relationship with her daughter.

Joyce, yes. Spike was impressed by how swiftly she’d taken on board the fact that her daughter was Chosen to stand against the forces of darkness and that she hadn’t actually tried to prevent her. Considering that the woman’s ‘little girl’ had been kidnapped and raped, she had accepted that Buffy must be out there, killing demons, quickly. It wouldn’t have surprised him if she’d instead turned more overprotective and tried to lock all the doors, perhaps even move away from Sunnydale. Instead… to him it felt like Joyce had damped down her need to protect as much as she was able, mothers always worried, after all.

They crossed the street and entered Restfield. Beside him the girl sighed, casting him a look. Her good mood had turned into deep thoughts as well, it seemed. Wasn’t very hard to guess what she was thinking about, not her mum, now when they’d spoken about that, but –

“There’s some stuff we should discuss,” she said.

“Yeah,” Spike said, thinking about the chat he’d had with the Mrox leader earlier. “Guess so.”

“You wanna go first?”

“Yeah, sure. After you’ve taken those two out.”

Ahead of them a couple of vampires appeared. Spike drew back and propped himself up against a nearby headstone and Buffy tightened her grip around her stake.

“Aren’t you gonna help?” she said, keeping her eyes on the minions stalking towards her.

Spike burrowed his hands in his pockets, a hand closing against his own stake just in case as he answered, “Nah, I’ll just watch this round.”

He said the last word just as the first vampire leaped upon her. Buffy easily knocked him aside while the second vamp started to circle her. He threw a brief look at Spike but then obviously decided to ignore him; his fangs dropped and he attacked the girl. She dodged, threw a hard punch to his head he didn’t manage to block and staked him while he was trying to regain focus. The vampire looked surprised just before he exploded into a cloud of dust.

With just one vampire left Spike relaxed against the headstone. When there was more than one opponent there was always a small chance that one would sneak up behind her or distract her somehow and he wanted to be ready to jump in, even if they were just fledges. Now though, he could relax and just enjoy the show. As he was able to focus on just her, he quickly noticed how much better her fighting skills had become. It didn’t feel like there was that long ago they’d patrolled together, but thinking about it he realized it must be at least two weeks. Not enough to account for the improvement, but Slayers developed quickly. The training with the Watcher must’ve been good for her; he should probably encourage it.

She fought with a grace and speed he had only seen flashes of earlier. Sure, the Slayers he’d killed had been better; stronger and faster, however, she was still recovering and, besides that, had been called less than half a year ago. This girl had real potential.

A couple of minutes passed and she had forgone several opportunities to dust the vampire, enough times for Spike to begin wondering what she was doing. The vampire aimed for her and she easily danced to the side, landing a kick in his gut.

She was toying with the fledgling.

Feeling a tightening in his groin, Spike shifted a little. Another minute of this playing went by, then, before his mind registered what he was doing, he stalked forward and thrust his own stake into the vamp’s back.

For a second the Slayer only stared at him, then a slow grin stretched her lips. A solid punch in the face had him stumbling backwards, unable to keep his footing. She was there with a hit to his ribs – he was pretty sure he heard something crack – before he had recovered. A low growl vibrated through his chest and he blocked next blow, vamping out.

“Think you’re ready for playing with the Big bads, Slayer?” he asked with a low chuckle, “Think you can bring me down?”

Her eyes flashed. “Oh, yes, I think I can.”

They came together in a fury. Spike’s mind emptied, his entire being turned solely to the fight. He had no concern of hurting her or going too far, his only focus was on landing as many blows as possible while, at the same time, defending himself.

He had no idea how long they fought, he only became aware of himself when he had her arms locked and his fangs about to sink into her throat. Abruptly he froze. That was all she needed. She threw her head backwards, cracking him in the nose and making him howl. He must’ve eased his grip – or she simply caught the opportunity – because she wrenched herself free and they were on again.


***


Buffy sank down on the grass. Spike was slumped against that headstone of his, panting even though he had no need for it. Her heartbeat was pounding in her ears as she tried to regain her breath. She’d lost count of how many dusts they’d done, her body would be aching tomorrow.

“Well, that was fun,” Spike said.

For a second Buffy thought about protesting, but so what? It had been fun, who was she to deny it?

“Yeah,” she said instead and they shared a grin.

Hers faded quickly though as she remembered what they were supposed to be discussing. She sighed deeply and looked down at her hands were they lay in her lap. Spike seemed to read her mind.

“Have some matters to talk about, don’t we?”

“You’re right,” she said with another sigh, before perking up as she remembered, “Actually, I have some good news.”

“Yeah?” He straightened himself. “Did the Watcher find something?”

“Well, no, but he’s supportive of our truce. Or… um… well maybe not so much supportive, but he won’t come after you with a stake. Probably.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “You two talked things out?”

“Er… first we had something very close to a yelling match; it ended with me telling him some things I shouldn’t have before I ran off. But afterwards, when I came back, we talked about you and stuff and… made up.”

“Yeah?” Spike said, “So, what did he have to say?”

“You mean after he gave me the whole ‘vampires equal evil, you’re the Chosen One, blah, blah’-speech a second time?” she said. “Nothing much, just that he thought I should be careful around you. He… he was really good, Spike, not exactly accepting but I think he… respected my choices. Somewhat at least.”

I am proud that you didn’t back down.

“Happy to hear that.”

“Yeah.”

The dampness in the grass was starting to seep through her trousers and Buffy stood, burrowing her hands in her pockets. “He hasn’t found out anything about this mind-merging though,” she said.

“I have.”

Her gaze flew to his. “What?”

“I went to Willy’s today, figure I’d –“

She broke him off. “You went to who?”

“Willy’s. It’s a demon bar,” he clarified. “Anyhow, I asked Willy, the owner, if he knew of any of these demons who made us read each other’s thoughts in the first place. He said –”

“You did what?!”

He gave a low growl. “Just listen, alright? I’ll explain everything.”

“Sorry.” She zipped her lips closed.

“Right. So, I had a talk with Willy, and he told me where the demons’ lair was. I’d figured that if anyone knew how to fix this mind-business it’d most likely be them.” He took a deep breath, glancing at her. “There’s a ritual. A rather easy ritual, according to them. The problem is that they’re the only ones who know it, or are able to perform it or something. Anyhow, we’ll need them to fix this.”

She halted and turned towards him, her eyes narrowing. “Right. What do they want in exchange?”

He met her gaze.

“Angelus’ dust.”

Angelus’ dust. The demons wanted Angelus’ dust? She opened her mouth and spoke her two first thoughts.

“Huh? Why?”

“Honestly, I’m not completely sure,” he said, “The leader wasn’t about to tell all, either. Wanted me to be a lot more open.” The last sentence was muttered.

Spike took a step away from the headstone and started to pace, duster swirling behind him. It looked kind of dramatic, Buffy, smiling a little, walked over to ‘Spike’s’ stone and leant against it. Finally he slowed down, though he didn’t stop.

“These demons aren’t too fond of vampires, or Slayers, for the matter,” he said, “And the one that tried to kill us was apparently… not totally right in the head. Like I said, the leader wasn’t too interesting in sharing any details about his precious little clan.”

“But why would they want to kill Angelus?”

“Coming to that, love. These demons seem pretty intelligent, and it looks like they have some unfinished business with Angelus.” He paused for a second. ”Listen now, I’m not really sure if I got this right; Angelus made a deal with the demons – and no, I have no idea what sort of deal, he wouldn’t tell me – and didn’t keep his end of it. Now they think he killed the demon who attacked us too and that only adds to their revenge lust.”

She thought for a second.

“That’s really… weird,” she said. “Not that they want revenge or anything, but why would Angelus make a deal with the demons?”

“That’s the question, Slayer, that’s the question.”


***


“So, the plan is that you talk to Giles tomorrow and then we’ll discuss during patrol?” Buffy said.

Spike nodded. “Yeah. That’s it.”

They were standing outside her house after three long hours of discussion and killing. There had been a hot night in the cemeteries tonight for some reason.

“I’m not sure I like the plan,” Buffy said.

“Well, it’s decided now.”

“I’m pretty sure Giles won’t talk to you.”

“Slayer… like I said the first two times, if he doesn’t want to, I’ll make him – not by hurting him.” Much, he added silently.

“It’s just… he really doesn’t like you very much,” she said in a low voice.

“Worried about my welfare?” he asked amused but then sobered when he realized she actually was worried, “Come on now, kitten, you really think he can take me?”

“Guess not. Just don’t eat him.”

She blushed slightly, looking small and soft in the darkness. Slowly he reached up to cup her cheek.

“We’ll be fine, yeah?” he said, smiling.

“Yeah, alright.”

Their gazes met. His thumb brushed lightly over her full bottom lip before he hastily pulled back. Her eyes were wide of something he couldn’t read.

“Toddle of inside now, Slayer,” he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”


***


Spike returned to his crypt with his mind strangely blank. He jumped down the ladder, undressed and crawled into bed. Long he lay staring at the ceiling. In slow motion he saw her wide eyes staring up at him, her lips slightly red.

He should’ve seen this coming. Christ, he should have seen this coming.

Her breath was hot and sweet against his face, eyes smiling. Slowly, he kissed a path from her collarbone up her neck. A quiet moan from her and she tilted her head back, baring her throat to him. His fangs itched and he scraped blunt teeth against her skin, using one arm to pull her flush against him.

“Spike… God…” she murmured.

He smiled against her skin, scenting new waves of arousal from her.

“William.”

He whipped his head around. The moment he looked away from her, the girl in his arms disappeared. He caught a glance of the dream-chick before a scream had him swinging around again. A sword stuck out of Buffy’s chest, her eyes wide and pleading as Angelus stood over her, sniggering. He took a faltering step towards them but they were gone the second he lifted his foot.

“No worries. She’s not really dead.” Her voice was all too familiar, but with it came a sudden knowledge that this was just a dream.

“Right.”

“It’s polite to look a people when talking to you.”

“You’re not really ‘people’, are you?”

She walked around him to face him. “Technically, I’m half-‘people’,” she said, her head tilted to the side. “You were dreaming about her. Buffy.”

“None of your business.”

“Guess not.”

He was thrown by her not mocking him or asking more questions and saw her eyes sparkle of her amusement. “So,” he said, “Long time, no see. Don’t feel like being my fairy godmother any longer?”

Her laughter rang in the air.

“Of course I do. I’m here now, aren’t I?” She didn’t wait for him to say anything. “But we need to speak clearly now. Those demons. The Mroxes.”

“Yeah?”

“You have to accept the deal.”

“The Slayer’s not ready.”

The female was quiet before answering. “She won’t ever be ready for it, William. Neither will she get over it completely until Angelus is gone.”

“I don’t know how we’re gonna make it.”

New silence. Spike found that he’d almost missed the bint, if only for her pointing him where he was supposed to go. She hadn’t been wrong so far, had she? A small, sad smile spread over her lips and she reached out to stroke him his cheek.

“Maybe I’ll give you a hand.”


TBC