Disclaimer: It’s not mine… Well, the story is, but the characters aren’t…



Summary: For almost two years, Buffy and Spike have been madly in love… Then, Buffy gets a call from Giles and she is forced to take Dawn and move away to London due to an increase in demon activity. Spike, now working for the Watcher’s Council, has been assigned to a new Slayer and he must stay with her at all costs… Even if it means losing the woman he loves.

Spoilers: Set after “Beneath You”, but it’s AU after that… Not really spoilery…



Rating: R (eventually… I think… Right now, it’s PG-13)



Author’s Notes: It’s a songfic… Later parts will be based on Bryan White’s “I’m Not Supposed To Love You Anymore”… Right now it’s just fluff and slight introduction to the actual story… And, it’s not very good ‘cause I’m tired as hell…



Distribution: If ya want it, take it, just give me credit… And, if ya could, let me know where it’s going.



Feedback: You can send it to brock3005@aol.com or otownfan1520@yahoo.com.

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Slowly, she awoke to the feel of his arms wrapped tightly around her. Clinging desperately, as though, if he were to release her even for the slightest fraction of a second, she would disappear… Become the unattainable dream she had once been. A tiny smile touched her lips as the thoughts passed through her mind. Even after two years of love and devotion, he was still terrified that when he reached for her she would not be there for him to hold. But she always would be. She wouldn’t have been capable of letting him go if the fate of the world depended on it. Not anymore… Not after all that they’d shared together.

When he’d first come home, soul intact and love still raging, it had been too much for her. She’d run from him for months. Pretending that everything was as it had once been… As it was before his soul had been returned. But that hadn’t worked. Mainly because she had loved him long before the soul. In fact, it had started the moment he had called that truce between them, so many years ago. At the time, she hadn’t realized it, but it was there… The love they now allowed to flow so freely between them.

He’d moved in with her not long after the sanity lapse he’d suffered from in the church. It had terrified her, and she had decided it would be better to keep him where she could watch over him more easily. So she’d packed up what little he had and moved him into her mom’s old room, where she would stay with him while he slept more times than she would have liked to admit; scared to death that he would awaken and welcome the sun just outside the window.

Once his sanity had returned, she’d started to realize that she needed him more than she had ever let herself believe, and still she had refused to let it out… Until he had packed up the few belongings he’d had and bought himself a one-way ticket to London, deciding that if he couldn’t have her, he couldn’t remain there; living in the same house as the woman he loved but could never have. Being so close to her and not being allowed to show his affection through even the slightest gesture had gotten to be too much for him, and he’d opted to go, rather than destroy the tiny shred of friendship they had developed during the time they’d spent together.

Finally, she’d found him staring off into space just before he would have to leave to catch his flight; standing on the porch… The same one where they’d shared so many moments. Their first, in fact… When her mom had first gotten sick. When she’d found him, her eyes had been red and bloodshot; silent tears still slipping down her flushed cheeks. And she’d muttered the words, though they were muffled slightly with the tiny sobs that escaped her in those moments. Upon hearing her quiet confession, he’d looked up at her, his eyes suddenly glazed over with tears of his own, and within seconds she’d been in his arms; both whispering promises of love and forever.

He’d made love to her there, in the moonlight. It was gentle; loving… Perfect. Just as she’d always hoped it could one day be. When he’d touched her, he had worshiped her… Proving to her beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would always be hers, and she his.

Dawn had gotten quite the surprise when she’d come home from the Bronze that night to find them naked and tangled on the doorstep.

Buffy giggled lightly at the memory of the horrified look the younger girl had worn; her eyes wide and her mouth agape. The next morning, she remembered Dawn commenting at breakfast, I’m thrilled that you’re back together and all, but next time could you try to keep it behind closed doors… Or, ya know, at least in the house!’ At the time, Buffy had been so happy with the sudden turn her relationship with Spike had taken, that she hadn’t even been phased by the accidental peepshow they’d treated her sister to.

“Whatchya thinkin’ ‘bout, Luv?” he questioned groggily, eyes still shut as he tenderly nuzzled her neck.

“Memories.”

“Good, I hope.” He still wasn’t fully out of his state of unconsciousness and his speech was slurred slightly.

She smiled, moving her arms to wrap around his neck as she kissed his lips lightly. “Always.”

“So… Which ones?” Rubbing his eyes a bit, he rolled onto his back; hugging her to him as she rested her head on his chest. His fingers moved to gently stroke her hair while hers drew intricate patterns on his bare skin. When he glanced down at her, she was smiling up at him; looking to all the world as though she had Heaven in her grasp once more, just as she had three years before. And his love for her grew all the more.

“I was just thinkin’ about the night I first told you I loved you.”

He looked down at her incredulously. “And this is a laughing matter, why?”

Smiling lightly, she pulled herself up and gently brushed her lips across his once more. This time letting her head fall to rest in the crook of his neck, her fingers moving to caress his cheek tenderly. “Dawn… You remember the look she gave us when she found us out there?”

At that, he chuckled a bit, recalling the look on the young girl’s face. “Can’t believe we let her see that… Poor girl’s gonna be scarred for life.”

“Nah… I think she knows that love makes people do crazy things.”

“Yeah, crazy like throwin’ themselves into a horde of homicidal vampires, or jumpin’ off a tower… Not ravishin’ one another on the doorstep.” he threw back.

She laughed. “Yeah, well… That’s life… And life is perfect. I love you.” she whispered.

Their eyes locked and he pulled her closer; kissing her gently before brushing a loose strand of gold from her eyes. “I love you, too, Buffy… So much. God, I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby…” she murmured between kisses. As she swept her lips over his sharp features in dozens of feather light brushes, she moved above him; straddling his hips as she pressed her body to his. “Forever…”

And at that moment, the phone rang. The two lovers groaned in frustration. Who the hell would be calling at 7am, anyway? Buffy hated that damn phone… Every time she and Spike got a little time alone, it would ring. And every time they tried to ignore, it would just keep ringing. Half the time, it wasn’t even important… Just Xander or Willow or Anya, calling to ask about patrolling or the Bronze, or something along those lines. Right then, all she wanted to do was rip the damn cord out of the wall… But there was always that slim chance that whoever it was had some sort of important information to convey…

“Ignore it.” Spike begged, unwilling to allow her to slip from his arms for even the slightest moment. All he wanted to do was hold her; make love to her… But apparently she wasn’t going to listen.

“Honey, you know I can’t just ignore it…” she argued, as she reached over to pick up the phone. “It might be important. And you know it’s not gonna stop till we answer it, anyway.”

“Bloody hell…” he groaned in defeat, though his grip never once faltered.

She stayed locked tightly in his arms as she hit the ‘talk’ button on the phone and curled into his embrace. “Hello?… Giles?” Buffy’s eyes widened when she heard Giles’ voice on the other end of the line, and she shook her head at Spike’s questioning look; her eyes promising him that she would explain as soon as she herself understood his purpose for calling… Usually, his calls would only come on Wednesday and Sunday nights… Not at 7am on a Friday morning. “Is something wrong?… No, I hadn’t heard…”

There was a long pause, and Buffy suddenly looked incredibly pale. “Buffy?” Spike questioned, concern evident on his handsome face. “What’s wrong, Love?”

Again, she shook her head slightly, silencing him immediately. “Giles, I don’t understand. What are you saying?… Well, yeah, but what about here? We are on the hellmouth… No, I really don’t think she can… Giles, I can’t just pack up and leave. This is my home. I’ve got a life here…” There was another long pause. “Okay… Yeah, I’ll talk to him… Bye.”

For a long moment, there was nothing but a sharp, deafening silence and Spike’s questioning eyes… And then she broke. Tears flowed from her beautiful hazel eyes as she buried her face in the crook of his neck; light sobs escaping her full lips. She didn’t know what else to do… All she could manage was to cling desperately to her love; trying as best she could to make it all some sort of horrible dream… But it just wasn’t working.

As she cried, he held her close. His hand gently stroked her hair, while the other drew slow, soothing circles at the small of her back; tenderly coaxing her tears away… He hated it when she cried. Especially when he didn’t know why. Seeing her in pain killed him. It always had.

“What’s wrong, Pet?” he asked softly; gently brushing her lips across her forehead.

“That was Giles…” she managed to choke out as she felt his arms tighten around her; comforting her as best he could. With the help of his comforting gestures, she slowly began to calm enough to explain, though her tears didn’t stop. “He… He said that there’s been a drastic increase in vampiric activity in London… They need a Slayer there. They need me. He said there was something coming… That Kerri would be better off staying here… With you.”

“What?” There was fear in his voice, and he knew it… He couldn’t help it. Was she saying what he thought she was saying. “Buffy, you don’t mean…”

“I have to go to England.” she cut him off. “And they want you to stay here with Kerri. But, if you insist on going with me, Giles said they’d send someone else…” For a moment, she paused; another small, choked sob escaping her throat as she clung to him. “I don’t wanna leave here, Spike… I’ve been here for so long. You, Dawn, and me… We’re a family now. Spike, we’ve got a life here… I don’t wanna go…”

“Then don’t, Love…”

“Spike, I have to. You know that… This is my job. To save the world. To keep people safe… It’s what I have to do. We both know I have to go…”

“Buffy…”

“I have to…”

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