Spike turned his head and looked over to the Californian beauty that was currently sleeping off the effects of their last bout of sex. Of course it was only sex, as she’d told him over and over again like she was trying to nail it in to his head and then beat him over the head with it once more for fun.
Sometimes he felt bitter when he saw her, but that never lasted long. He may hate being used by her but he was in love with her and if sex gave her relief for a few hours then he was willing to give it.
He’d hoped sometimes that there could be something more. In her eyes after he kissed her there would always be that trace of an unknown emotion, something that if even for only a few seconds proved to him that she wanted more than just sex.
He couldn’t call her on it though, she’d most likely deny it vehemently and draw herself further into the shell she had created to hide in. He’d just have to be patient.
Given the opportunity he took the time to look her over, she looked so innocent when she was sleeping, so much like the girl she would have been if she had not started slaying and hadn’t been introduced to the world of things that go bump in the night.
These moments when he got to look at her were rare, but when they happened they were beautiful.
He took in her soft golden hair, the way it was highlighted in some areas and darker in the others.
How it hung over her face in a slight wave and the length she had cut it showed people that she had indeed done a lot of growing up in the past year, although he still loved it when it was long.
Her face was void of emotion and he loved it.
Whenever she was forced to face the world and her friends a mask of happiness was put there, one that definitely wasn’t real and one that took a great deal of effort to uphold, judging by the moments he’d seen the facade break before being put right back up again.
He looked over her body.
Over the few months since she’d been brought back from heaven she had become thinner. Not something that went easily overlooked when one spent their time worshipping every inch of it.
Her friends seemed oblivious, of course they were. She had been a server of the Powers that be for God’s sake, where else was she going to go. He looked back to Buffy’s face.
He felt like caressing her cheek but held himself back in case she woke. Spike had always had a way of getting what he wanted when he had finally separated from Angelus and Darla, but Buffy; well she’d been quite the challenge.
First he had just hated her, and then it had turned into hate with slight lust. Then that fucking spell had completely turned his feelings around to simple lust.
Then he’d gone and fallen in love with her, head over bloody heels in love with the bint. Oh and she hadn’t been happy about that...mind you it was probably because he’d gone and shocked her with a cattle prod, tied her up and then started an amateur fight with Harmony.
Spike tilted his head in thought, it wasn’t that crazy.
She stirred and her nose scrunched up for a few seconds before she returned to the land of slumber.
Her nose was unique in its own way, not too long but not too small with this small bump at the end. Kind of like a snobbish nose. He smiled a bit and also refrained from kissing her.
His mind went to those times before her death when he’d seen her out with her friends, trying to enjoy being a teenager and forget that she had a shadow hanging over her.
She was the longest lived slayer and he could see why, she had ties to the world. She had her mum, her friends not to mention her little sis.
But her friends used to be, a computer nerd who excelled in school, a goofy boy that was insanely in love with her, a supportive watcher who was the only father figure in her life and occasionally that Cordelia bint. He didn’t classify the poof as her friend because they never were.
Now her friends were:
Willow: a power drunk with that didn’t mind going into an invisible magic hole for a buzz..
Xander: a goofy carpenter who was too busied with the upcoming wedding that he couldn’t give a fuck about changes around him.
Anya: an ex vengeance demon who was strangely blunt and didn’t mind telling people about her orgasms.
Tara: a shy Wicca that only called on good powers and had probably never uttered a curse in her life.
Giles: the fourth man to abandon her when things got tough for him, not caring about Buffy’s welfare.
Dawn: a little sister who was skipping class, causing mischief and who Buffy constantly had to provide for.
Himself...if she would even call him a friend, he frowned at the list he’d made in his head, things had certainly changed for her in the last couple of years.
He sighed and brushed a piece of her hair away from her face.
Spike only hoped that she would be able to get through this, maybe he’d talk to Tara or Dawn and try and get them to help her, they were the only two in that Scooby gang that he could stand, besides Buffy.
Buffy stirred again and Spike quickly feigned sleep, he knew she’d never stay, but that didn’t make it any easier to watch her go and if she knew he was awake they would probably end up arguing about something ridiculous.
He heard her dress quietly before a pause, his curiosity was peaked but he kept his eyes shut.
He heard her sigh and walk over to the ladder, when he was sure she had left his crypt his eyes slid open and he rolled onto his back.
Yes the moments when he got to look her over were rare but they were always beautiful.
Fin
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!