“Spike Lips ... Lips of Spike...”

Still echoed in his mind days after that god forsaken ‘Thy will be done’ spell.

Spike grimaced at the feel the alcohol burning a track through his body. This is how he lived his life since that day. He would lose himself in his drink, forget about the world, forget about the heaven that was the tiny blond. He wanted to go to her, almost did many times without realizing it. He would awaken from his drunken stupor and find himself under the tree in her yard, staring at her window.

How he got out of the watcher’s house he didn’t know.

He felt stupid, it was just a spell but it opened something up in him. Made him want things he hadn’t wanted since his early days with Dru.

“Oh god Spike,” Buffy moaned as Spike worked his mouth and hands on her.

She looked at him blindly, his blue eyes staring up at her from between her thighs.

“Don’t stop...”

Buffy threw her head back as her orgasm caught her. Spike never stopped, never wavered....he kept her over the edge three more times before she yanked him by his hair and kissed him.


Spike shook his head to clear the memories that kept popping up. Each one made him feel just a little bit more.


“Spike,” Buffy moaned breathlessly as he finally filled her. His long length inside her warmth. She continued to moan as he began to move. Loving her gently, his body telling her what he felt.

This wasn’t just sex with them.

Not tonight.

This was love.


It pissed him off.

It scared the hell out of him.

He tipped the bottle back and drank deep, the amber liquid burning him from the inside out. He hoped the watcher wouldn’t be back anytime soon because he was going to be right pissed about the bottle of whiskey Spike had just inhaled.

*~*

Avoiding him seemed to be the best plan, Buffy told herself as she was out patrolling.

Half of her hoped she would see him and the other half told her she was crazy. She couldn’t get their time lost in that spell out of her mind. She had always thought of Spike as a crazy vampire.

Yeah he was hot, that goes without saying.

Before the spell she tried to hate him because honestly he was annoying. But then they spent a little more time together and even when he was driving her insane she also found herself liking him. Liking him as a person...as a vampire. Yeah he taunted her but she kept him chained to the bathtub. He would growl and say hurtful things and she would tease him by trailing a finger down her throat.

Then the spell happened.

Fighting as always in Giles’s living room. Buffy had been more than a little turned on, fighting with Spike always made her hot. Yelling...faces so close and then he’s on his knees in front of her proposing marriage. She found herself accepting as if it was as natural as breathing.

Then he kissed her.

Buffy caught herself touching her lips as she remembered the softness of his. The way he kissed her. So confident, so strong, so passionate. She had never been kissed like that before. Angel was always afraid to hurt her...as if she was a little china doll.

But not Spike. Spike treated her as his equal. What he could handle, she could too.

He kissed her deeply, worrying his mouth against hers, his hands in her hair, holding her to him. She broke from him taking a much needed breath as he rained kisses down her throat.

Buffy forgot about everyone and everything except for the vampire who was biting gently and licking his way to her ear. She shuddered against him as he blew hotly against her skin.

“Ohh Buffy...” he breathed against her sending tingles down her spine.

Buffy could still hear the huskiness in his voice and she shook her head to clear the memory she was caught in.

Her heart beat faster when she thought of him. She felt alive. Those hours that they were together were the best she had experienced in her life.

She wanted more.

She wanted him.

“This is stupid,” she said outloud.

*~*

“Spike...” Buffy moaned.

They snuck out while Giles was passed out on the couch. They kissed and held hands all the way to Spike’s crypt. Smiling he carried her through the door and into the belly of his home.

Laying her down on his bed he looked down at her, his mind writing poems about every little detail of her.

Love was overflowing through him.

He dropped his duster on the ground and followed it with his red shirt. He laid himself on top of her, his mouth meeting hers with a sigh.

He cradled her face in his hands as he feathered kisses on her mouth, her cheeks, her eyelids. She watched him, her hands in his bleached hair as he licked her bottom lip, biting her softly. She moaned against him, her legs parting and letting him settle himself in between them.


“I love you,” he whispered against her mouth.

“I love you.”



*~*

Spike awoke with a start. His head was pounding and he was impossibly hard. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes, blearily looking around the room.

His stomach clenched, as he looked at Giles’ desk, every article in the room emblazoned with a memory of them.

Spike stared into her eyes as he ran his fingers down her face. They were in each other’s arms, swaying to music only they could hear.

Buffy touched his face, her fingertips burning a path to his mouth as she rubbed her thumb along his bottom lip. He bit at her gently causing her to smile before stepping on her tippy toes and kissing him.

His long dead heart ached and he put his head in his hands.

I’m not doing this, he thought as he stood. Grabbing his duster he stomped to the door and opened it. His destination not yet determined.

*~*


Buffy kissed her way down Spike’s stomach, stopping to bite gently at his skin. He gasped and moaned as she neared his cock. Her teasing driving him crazy. He watched her with half opened eyes as she kissed the tip of him chastely before sucking his full length into her mouth. His head flew back and he grasped at the bed spread while she worked him into a frenzy.

Spike was sputtering words and moaning incoherently and Buffy smiled, loving this power she had over him.

She gave out a surprised yelp as she was roughly grabbed and pinned to the bed. Spike entered her in one swift movement and it was her turn to moan incoherently.

“Spike...” Buffy breathed in her sleep as she tossed and turned in her bed, caught in her dream.

Under her window Spike stood, watching the curtains billowing in the slight breeze that ruffled his hair. He was stomping out a cig when he heard her moan his name. His head shot up as his pants tightened painfully at the breathless echo of her voice.

He scaled the tree easily and entered her room in one movement. He smiled as he watched her sleep, her mouth slightly open, one hand by her face.

“Spike...” she moaned again and Spike felt himself walking towards her. He knelt next to the bed and brushed her hair away from her cheek.

This is never gonna happen mate, he thought to himself. She is just dreaming.

Self doubt shot through his system paralyzing him. His hand stilled on her face and he inched away from her. He was at the window when her voice made him stop in his tracks.

“Love you ... Love you, “ she breathed.

Spike turned towards her, his eyes shining with tears.

“Love you,” he echoed before jumping out the window.

*~*

The days the followed were full of mind numbing intoxication. Spike figured if he stayed drunk enough the memories would go away and he could be the vampire he had been before. It was hell to see her, it was hell to not see her.

He was lonely.

Depressed.

He felt stupid.

It seemed Giles knew what he was going through. Even though the watcher didn’t say anything Spike kept finding new bottles of liquor to ease his pain.

He was just finishing another bottle of expensive bourbon when the door was flung open and sunshine walked in.

Buffy stood at the threshold and stared him, her green eyes swirling with emotion.

“How much have you had tonight?”

“Enough,” he growled his blue eyes locking on her.

Bloody hell she’s here, he thought shocked and surprised.

“Spike...we need to talk.”

“Yeah? ‘Bout what?”

“You know what,” she said as she sat down next to him.

Neither of them said anything. They just stared at one another, their eyes silently conveying what they couldn’t say.

They reached for each other at the same time, their mouths meeting in a fiery kiss. They met passion for passion, their lips moving together, hands everywhere.

“Miss you,” Buffy got out between kisses, her hands clutching Spike’s shoulders.

“God Buffy.”

He ripped at her shirt, tiny buttons flying everywhere as he tore it from her body. She gasped against his mouth, her hands on his face kissing him for all she was worth.

“Too long without you,” he whispered as he laid her down, his mouth peppering wet kisses down her chest, his hands on her breasts.

Buffy moaned under his ministrations her body arching as he sucked a bra clad nipple into his mouth. Hands tangled in his hair as he worked one breast and then the other.

Buffy pulled at his shirt and their movements became frenzied as clothes were torn off. Their eyes met as Spike pressed himself inside her, their bodies becoming one. They sighed, and Spike laid his forehead against hers as they began to move.

Buffy put her hands on his face, tracing his cheekbones as he thrust inside her. She gasped and pulled his lips towards hers. She kissed him with everything she felt, all the love and emotion spilling out of her and into him.

He groaned against her mouth, his hips moving impossibly fast, slamming her into the soft comfort of the couch. Her legs wrapped around him, pulling him in deeper. He buried his face in her neck as he held onto her hips, his fingers leaving little bruises.

Buffy kissed the side of his face and felt herself nearing the edge. She turned her face into his neck inhaling his scent and opened her mouth, her teeth against his skin. She bit him, marking him with her human teeth as the orgasm tore its way out of her, leaving her legs shaking and Spike growling.

“Love you...love you,” she whispered against her mark and Spike let go. His arms crushing her to him as he panted through a mind numbing orgasm.

“Love you..,” he breathed as his eyes met hers.

He leaned down and kissed her, his hands cupping her cheeks as his lips laid soft kisses against her mouth.


“You bit me,” Spike said and Buffy laughed.

“Yes I did. Should I be sorry?”

“Hell no!”

“Good, because I’m not,” she giggled as her fingertips touched the mark she left in his skin.

Spike smiled and it melted Buffy. She had never seen such a genuine smile on him before. Especially in the last few days.

“I love you,” she said as she touched his face.

“And I you,” he returned.

“I never thought I’d say this but thank God for Red’s wonky spell,” Spike told her and Buffy smiled.

“Thank God,” she repeated as she pulled his face down to hers.