Half and half
Chapter 1
As imagined reunions went, this one wasn’t even in her top one hundred. The love of her life was sprawled across the office desk with his head buried in Harmony’s ample bosom, one hand clutching her long blonde hair and the other buried somewhere between his body and her open thighs. Her enthusiastic if slightly choked cries of “yes, yes, just there, Blondie Bear”, and his breathy growls, were the only sounds in the room; apart from a squeaky protest from the leather coat rubbing against her shiny high heels as they scrabbled for purchase against his back.
With his eyes tightly shut, and his body thoroughly enjoying the sensation of touch for the first time in what seemed like forever, he could almost imagine that it wasn’t Harmony beneath him. Instead of the overpowering scent of Poison he could convince himself that the smell was the delicious primal perfume of Slayer.
When the body underneath him froze - and not in a good way – he opened his eyes and raised his head in puzzlement. Harmony stared at the doorway, eyes wide with horror. Almost in slow motion he disengaged himself, righted his clothing and stood up. His whole body now prickled with awareness but his mind refused to catch up. Spike turned around. No, it couldn’t be…
But it was.
Buffy.
A beautiful, dangerous and very pissed off Buffy. Half dressed as usual, hair longer and lightened by the sun, skin tanned, healthier curves and beautiful big eyes…eyes which were now rapidly filling with tears.
“Me and Dawn thought we’d visit, you know…since we found out you weren’t actually dead," said Buffy. "But it’s obvious you’re busy right now.” And with that, the woman of his dreams - and sometimes nightmares - ran out of the room leaving only the sound of her feet skittering away from him.
“Fuck,” breathed the stunned vampire as he leapt towards the door, Harmony’s annoyed shout of “Hey!” ignored. A steely arm shot out to grab him just as Buffy darted into the lift at the end of the corridor.
“Spike, what can I say? If I’d only known you were otherwise occupied, then I would never have helped her to look for you, but she seemed so eager to see her champion again.” Angel attempted to look sorry but Spike knew better; no amount of acting ability could hide the gleam of triumph in the bastard’s eyes.
“Get off me or lose an arm, Angelus.” With that Spike tore out of Angel’s grasp and raced after her.
But she was gone.
***
Buffy burst out of the lift and into the downstairs foyer area where she’d left Dawn with the effervescent Lorne. He had welcomed them both like long lost friends as soon as they entered Wolfram and Hart, even though they’d never actually met before. And, while she would normally have staked a green, horned demon with red eyes for laying a single digit on her baby sister, he had charmed them both. His hugs and air kisses had eased the tension the sisters were feeling, and his cries of delight that ‘Spikelicious’ would be in for such a surprise when he saw his ‘lovely girls’ had been more than encouraging.
Surprise was right. Now her chest hurt, she couldn’t breathe properly, and her vision was distorted by prisms caused by all the tears that kept getting in the way. ’Stupid tears.’
Dawn shot up from the comfy leather sofa where she and Lorne had settled for a good gossip. “Buffy, what’s wrong? Where’s Spike?”
“I can’t believe he could do that to me again. At least he showed a bit of taste with Anya, but Harmony? Couldn’t he have moved on to someone with a bit more class,” Buffy snapped as she wiped the tears from her eyes with a clenched fist. “And what does that say about me? Come on, Dawn, we’re leaving. Right now!"
Lorne was quite frankly puzzled at the Slayer's words. “Sweetness, whatever you saw you mustn’t doubt his feelings for you, believe me. I’m an empath demon and I’ve spent enough time with Spike to know that he’s completely, and pitifully, in love with you and the little sugarplum here. Besides, what trouble can he really get up to as a ghost?”
Buffy met the gentle demon's gaze whose confusion was mirrored in her own eyes. “A ghost? What are you talking about? What I saw didn’t look very spiritual to me, and I’m sure there was more orgasm than ectoplasm on their minds.”
Dawn gasped. Then snapped her mouth shut.
As the meaning of Buffy’s words sank in, the demon couldn’t repress his reaction, despite seeing and feeling her obvious distress. “He’s really back? That’s wonderful! You don’t know how hard it’s been for the poor boy. He’s been clinging on by his fingernails to this world as Hell was tugging at his ankles.” Lorne took the distraught Slayer by the arm and signaled for Dawn to follow. “Come on, darlings, let’s go and meet Fred then we can tell you all about Spike’s recent adventures. Something tells me that if you run away again then there might not be another second chance for you both…and I so love a happy ending.”
***
When Spike finally plucked up the courage to enter the lounge area where Team Angel liked to hang out, his eyes automatically sought out Buffy. She was talking animatedly to Gunn and Wesley and barely glanced at him before pointedly looking away. Unsurprisingly, Angel loomed nearby ready to repel boarders. Pirate Spike merely shot him a death glare before heading straight for the alcohol.
Spike was still seething, and more than a little hurt at Angel's actions. Hell, he'd even thought that they'd reached some sort of understanding, if not the beginnings of actual friendship. All that had flown out of the window on the Slayer's arrival which, come to think of it, must have been minutes after Harmony had opened the flash-in-a-box and his old - slightly shopworn - body had merged with his ghostly one.
Yes, Buffy had arrived, and Angel had taken complete advantage of Spike's stupidity by leading her straight to him. And what had possessed him to want to shag Harmony anyway? He knew what. Fear. Being a spirit had been terrifying. Not being able to affect anything around him. Not to be able to feel or touch. Harmony was in the right place, but definitely at the wrong time. Now he was going to pay for it.
Lorne was, as usual, being the perfect host, as he mixed drinks at the bar from an impressive display of bottles lined up along the curved counter. He was hindered rather than helped by Harmony who, true to form, was all cleavage and hippage - like jello on springs.
In her white trash meets Donna Koran suit, seamed stockings and red high heels, the vampiress was a bag of nerves. Her earlier shock was cushioned only slightly by her reasoning that, as a valued employee of Wolfram and Hart, she would be protected against unauthorised dusting by a jealous slayer. She was still keeping well out of reach though, angling her body every few seconds so that an airborne stake would have to penetrate several guests - and some very solid furniture - before it found her delicate heart. Her strange contortions were oddly mesmerising to all who watched.
“Ah, sweet cheeks, come on in,” said the demon cheerfully. “We’ve decided to celebrate the Slayer’s state visit by bringing the cocktail hour forward just a tad. What’ll it be, my blue eyed boy? A Neg, single malt and berba weed perhaps?”
Spike nodded and smiled slightly. “Sure, Kermit”.
Avoiding Buffy, he collected his drink after pointedly fishing out the colourful umbrella and fruit ensemble that adorned it. Making his way to a sofa by the window he hoped to get a better reception from his two other favourite females. The lovely Fred, just about his only friend here; sweet, determined, a good listener and with more brains than everyone in the room put together…and Dawn.
“Hello, Bit,” he said. Spike stared at the carpet as if awaiting a prison sentence. Loose limbed, Dawn rose up to enfold him in a tight embrace. “Oh, Spike, I’m so glad you’re not dead...er, I mean deader than you were. Oh, you know what I mean. It so sucked not having you around. I missed you, we missed you,” she said in a rush. Standing in the curl of her arms Spike had to close his eyes for a moment to stop from making a complete prat of himself. He was on the verge of bursting into tears in front of everyone. In front of her.
Dawn leaned in so she could whisper into his neck. “You know you’re in Buffy’s bad books big time, you idiot. But Fred and Lorne have explained why you couldn’t get in touch and how close we came to losing you forever. You’ve got some serious grovelling to do but at least we’ve persuaded her to stay for a bit, long enough for you to sort this out I hope. And Harmony? That’s just…well, words fail me!”
Spike gazed in wonder at the girl. “Such a smart little bit you are. What did I do to deserve your friendship?”
Dawn gave him a sad smile. “I could say the same, Spike.”
In the months leading up to his rather spectacular exit at the Hellmouth, Spike had been in no fit state to repair their once close relationship. A relationship that had turned so sour. Now Dawn was the one holding out the olive branch. He felt blessed.
Perhaps he should have incinerated himself sooner.
She buried her head into his shoulder with a loud sniffle, no doubt leaving a trail of snot on his black T-shirt. He couldn’t have cared less.
“We thought you’d left us for good,” she murmured softly.
“Nah, can’t get rid of me that easily, pet. You know I’m just too good looking and athletic to kill off.”
Angel snorted from across the room, and Buffy’s mouth twitched slightly.
Together, Spike and Dawn sank down into the soft leather of the sofa. He was sandwiched between her and Fred, who smiled at him reassuringly, protectively. Fred was patting his hand as if she couldn't quite believe that he really was a solid entity. All their combined efforts…and the solution was in a friggin' cardboard box!
***
It was nearly 11 p.m. when the gathering wound down and assorted demons, half demons and humans prepared to either go to bed or hit the streets looking for a few hours of action. Dawn and Fred opted for sleep, as did Harmony. She’d been pointedly ignoring Spike all night, much to his great relief.
Buffy was talking quietly to Angel; he’d finally made his move and they were sitting with heads bowed towards each other. She was frowning slightly but held one of his large hands in both of hers. They seemed unaware that anyone else was in the room. Spike felt the familiar dull ache of incurable jealousy. He was so sick of being second best. It didn’t help that he knew he'd be throwing himself at her feet fairly soon and begging for forgiveness.
Later. When she was alone.
He called out after Gunn and Wesley as they headed towards the fine collection of lethal weapons ranged inside a Plexiglas case in the next room. “Wait up, lads, I feel the urge to kill something."
“So do I,” muttered Angel.
***
Angel had spent an uneventful few hours patrolling with Buffy. Most of the time had been spent trying to convince her that getting involved with Spike again was not a good idea. But he wasn’t blind. She hadn’t stormed out of the building as he’d hoped, and her reaction to the other vampire’s presence was all too plain to see. Angel had watched her pupils dilate at the recent gathering, heard her pulse quicken when Spike walked past, and smelt the telltale pheromones acting as a silent plea vibrating along invisible spider web threads; all reaching out to the only object of her desire.
Angel knew that, had he been less agitated and self absorbed, his worthless grandchilde would have easily sensed her distress and longing. He only hoped that their mutual pigheadedness would prevent them from ever giving in to their desires. If there was anything he could do to prevent Buffy throwing her life away, he would – even if that included dusting Spike. Her terse “there is no me and Spike” had lacked conviction and she’d refused to answer any further questions. Never one for expressing himself very well, he’d eventually given up trying to convince her to leave LA immediately and they’d spent the last hour walking the streets in uncomfortable silence.
***
At 3 a.m. Buffy sank gratefully into her bed. She’d seen no sign of the others during their patrol; she suspected this was more by Angel’s design than by accident as he’d steered her rather quickly away from certain routes. They did manage to pick off a small group of vamps, though she couldn’t help but notice that she and Angel did not fight well together; she’d nearly staked him a couple of times when he’d got underfoot. He was too used to fighting alone.
Not like Spike. Spike had anticipated her every move, just as she had his. Whether they were kicking the crap out of each other, or standing solid against a common foe, they’d always been connected. God, but she’d missed that.
Angel had wasted no time in launching into a long list of reasons why she should stay away from Spike - which was presumptuous much. It certainly wasn’t his place to tell her what to do with her life and, well, if she still desperately wanted her volatile vamp back then that was her business. Angel had rejected her long ago for all the right reasons but she wasn’t in the mood to be as noble. She’d done noble. Noble was overrated.
The room she now rested in was on the top floor of Wolfram and Hart, one of several guest suites available for VIPs who either couldn’t, or wouldn’t, use a normal hotel; Dawn had an equally large room next to hers. The perfectly laundered bed linen smelt of lavender, and splashes of colour radiated around the white walls from a genuine tiffany lamp depicting clear glass dragonflies suspended in vivid patches of green, yellow and blue. The rest of the large, thickly carpeted room disappeared into soft shadows. French windows opened onto a balcony where the never-ending noise of the overheated city drifted up from the streets far below. She couldn’t imagine who the last occupant of the room had been. Perhaps it had all been arranged just for her - so pretty, so deceptively comforting.
She still couldn’t get over how easily Angel and the others had accepted this place as their base. It was like going to a school built on top of a Hellmouth. Sooner or later you just knew that all manner of beasties were going to come pouring out to bite you on the collective ass.
Speaking of asses, Spike and Harmony’s impromptu lovefest had well and truly jolted her out of all the eager fantasies she’d had about seeing him again. The searing hope she’d felt after her Slayer dream a month ago, convincing her that he was unalive and well, had eventually been swamped by the fear that he didn’t want her any more. That fear had only grown when Willow and the coven in England had finally confirmed that Spike had, indeed, returned to this earthly plane and was currently residing in Los Angeles. And with Angel, of all people. Surely he would have moved heaven and earth to be back by her side by now…or at least sent her a postcard?
Unless he’d had enough of her hot and cold behaviour.
Maybe he had moved on with Harmony. At least she wasn’t complicated and wouldn’t give him mixed signals or find it hard to express her feelings, or beat him to the edge of dust. It had taken all Dawn’s persuasion and, surprisingly, Willow’s for her to swallow her pride and get on the plane to see him. Now she was just hurt and angry…and she didn’t know what to do next.
Buffy had almost headed straight back to the airport. Almost. Only Dawn’s pleading, Lorne’s soothing reassurances and Fred’s hesitant but heartfelt description of his recent trials at the hands of Pavayne had stopped her. That, and the knowledge that she couldn’t leave things unfinished between them, not without some serious discussion about their future first. Deep, deep down she knew that he wasn’t the only one that had some serious apologising to do.
“Why can’t anything just go smoothly for once?” she asked the night at large.
As if on cue the faint smell of cigarette smoke trickled in from the balcony.
“Thinking of us, pet?” drawled that oh so familiar voice. A flick of embers sailed over the balcony then Spike came slinking towards her, fingers flexing as if half expecting a fight. The way she felt right now she’d be happy to oblige, already imagining the satisfying crunch as she punched him on the nose - again. Anything to distract her from the rising panic in her breast, the growing fear that she’d lose control and fling herself into his arms.
“Um, been meaning to explain, apologise for earlier.” Moving to the edge of her bed his eyes were illuminated by the lamp. Soft blue fire like marsh gases flickered in the dark, the ethereal yet angular bones of his face too striking to be real…but then he wasn’t real, was he?
’He walks in beauty like the night,’ she misquoted in her head, or maybe she meant, ‘Creature of the night’. It was easy to get confused when he looked at her like that.
“I’m so sorry, Buffy. I know I’ve cocked things up with you again, as usual,” Spike said contritely. “But I’m really glad you’re here…and looking right gorgeous as well, what with all the resting an’ eating proper and all.” Taking a steadying breath, Spike pushed on. “That thing with Harmony was a moment of madness, I swear. You are mine and I am yours. You’re all I’ll ever want.”
Spike’s gaze traced her contours under the sheet and his head was suddenly filled with very pleasant memories. Her body fused with his, nipples taut against his cool tongue and her secret desires revealed to hard clever fingertips. A slow smile formed as he stared.
Buffy blushed as she correctly interpreted his look and pulled the bedding up to her neck. In her confusion she took a deep breath, ready to attack him with words, to wound past any forgiving.
“Shh, no you don’t,” he whispered, cool fingers pressing lightly on her lips.” No need to shoot me down in flames, love. Already been there, thanks. We’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?” Leaning over to replace his hand with his mouth he kissed her gently.
When Buffy opened her eyes he’d vanished. So he didn’t get to see the unguarded love blazing brightly within them.
***
AN: Okay I know I should have put Spike/other on the warnings - but I really didn't want to give away the beginning of the chapter. Am I forgiven?
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!