---------------------------------------------------------------------------


Buffy kicked down the door of Spike’s crypt and walked in with a determined stride. Scanning the room with her eyes, she saw Spike sitting in his couch watching T.V.


“Spike, I need you to…,” Buffy began to order.


Spike stood up and cut her off, “Ohhhh so NOW you need me again. I thought I was supposed to stay out of your life?” He quirked his eyebrow at her and tilted his head, trying to look annoyed and impatient.


Buffy pursed her lips and looked angry at his sudden turn of indifference for her. “Are you going to help or not?” she demanded.


He stalked towards her in swaggering steps. “Unless you’re here for a bit of touch n’ feel,” he ran his eyes down her body suggestively before he stopped right in front of her face and put on a cold expression, “you should find someone else to kick around. I’m not your bloody lapdog.”


He was lying of course –he would have done anything for her, but he needed to regain some of his integrity back.


Surprised at his cold demeanor, Buffy eyes widened and she took a moment before replying. “Fine. Be an asshole. I’ll take care of it myself,” Buffy retorted as she began to turn away and head out of the crypt.


“I’M the asshole? You’re the one who de-invited me from your house!” Spike exclaimed. ‘How am I supposed to visit Nibblet and Joyce now?’ But Spike kept that thought to himself since he didn’t want to sound like a bloody poofter.


Buffy whipped around and shot him an angry glare. “I don’t want you anywhere near my house or my family. PLUS you let that ho-bag electrocute me and then you chained me to the wall!”


Spike’s expression was one of frustration. “I was trying to show you that I was willing to sacrifice Dru for you! I had every intention of letting you go!” he defended.


“On top of that, you can’t even admit to yourself that there’s something between us. I know it, you’re too scared to,” Spike’s voice lowered as he stepped closer to Buffy and starred intently into her eyes. He couldn’t help but reach out to run his hand lightly down her bare arm…


Buffy put her hands on his chest and shoved him back. “Spike,” Buffy interjected with calm malice, “There is nothing between us. Nothing. Wake up and see you’re the only one with the REALLY disturbing feelings here.”


Buffy crossed her arms across her chest again and tried to appear as firm on the issue as she could so Spike could get the message, “You don’t even really love me – you just think you do. It’s like one of your crazy slayer obsessions or something.” She moved in so her face was almost touching his before she added, “Get over it.”


Buffy turned her back and stormed out of the crypt, leaving Spike angry, but mostly with hurt in his eyes, like the night before when Buffy had closed her door in his face.


Spike let out a frustrated yell as he knocked over the couch in anger. He was angry at her for not believing him and refusing to admit anything, but he was angrier that he felt like running after her and apologizing like a bloody ponce. He sat himself down on the sarcophagus and put his face in his hands.


He ran his hands back through his hair in frustration. “I wish she would understand how it feels....being in love with that bloody bint is nothing but a pain in the arse…” Spike mumbled under his breath. He let out a sigh before he slowly stood up and went back to watching the telly.


~

Oblivious to both Buffy and Spike, something had heard Spike’s words and had begun to weave a change of events…and everything that was their reality.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Buffy began to stir from her nights sleep. She yawned and stretched her arms out before attempting to open her eyes.


As her eyes flickered open, she caught a glimpse of darkness.


‘Is it not morning yet…?’ She pondered, surprised that she felt so refreshed and sure she had slept until morning. But when she opened her eyes once again, what she saw made her eyes bulge and she jumped up frantically.


‘Omg why am I not in my room? Where am I?’ Her eyes scanned the dark surroundings and she realized with a horrified thought where she was – in Spike’s crypt down in his bedroom on his bed.


‘OMG OMG what the hell am I doing here?’ She looked down at herself and she seemed to be fully dressed in her flannel pjs. Next to her on the bed, was Mr. Gordo. She grabbed the stuffed pig and thoughts sped through her mind as her heart beat accelerated from panic.


‘Why is Mr. Gordo here? Why am I in my pajamas?’ Her mind raced as she tried to remember anything besides going to sleep in her own bed. And then she remembered it was Spike’s crypt.


“Spike!!!!!,” Buffy angrily screamed aloud, thinking he was probably somewhere in the crypt, though she didn’t sense him. “Spike!!!!! Get your dead ass over here!!!!”


There was no reply or noise of footsteps. ‘I’m going to kick his ass when I find him’ Buffy thought to herself as she slid her legs off the bed and got up. She knew he was behind this – he had to be.


‘I should go find him. Then I’ll stake that bastard,’ she fumed to herself.


Buffy started walking towards the ladder, but realized she had on her silly flannel pjs and how ridiculous she would look walking through the cemetery like that. She hesitated for a moment, before walking over to Spike’s dresser drawer. ‘I bet everything in his wardrobe is black or leathery. Looking like him is worse than my pjs on any day.’


She decided to check anyway, in case he had some of Harmony’s clothes left over. She pulled on the drawer, only to find before her eyes, her very own bras and underwear, just the way she had in her drawer at home. Confused and wide-eyed, she pulled the drawer below out, to reveal all of HER stuff, as if she was looking into the dresser at home.


Her heart pounded and she was beginning to feel dizzy from confusion. ‘Ok this is creeping me out. What is happening here??? Maybe I’m still asleep. Yes, this is a bad bad dream. Wake up Buffy! Wake up!’ She pinched herself hard. “Ow!” she cried out loud to no one.


After a few minutes of pacing and pinching, Buffy decided to see what would happen if she tried to get out of the crypt. She put on a black knee-length skirt and a baby blue turtleneck and headed upstairs to the door. As she flung the door open, she was surprised to see that it was night.


Buffy made her way over to her house first, to make sure that Dawn and her mom were ok. Everything – the streets and the town – looked the same, yet she got an eerie feeling that something was not quite right.


When she reached the house, she tried to find something that looked different, but everything seemed the same. Walking up to the door and giving the knob a turn, she realized it was locked and she didn’t have the key with her.


She pounded on the door violently, “Dawn! Mom! Open the door! It’s me! Buffy!” She continued pounded for what seemed like minutes, desperate to see Dawn and her mother.


Finally, she heard loud footsteps trudging down the stairs to the door. Instead of Dawn or her mom, SPIKE opened the door. Buffy suddenly felt a weird pang in her gut at the sight of him, but she ignored it as best she could, and went with anger.


“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE??? WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?” Buffy screamed at him.


Spike looked at her like she was deranged and came outside and closed the door. “What the bloody hell is wrong with you now? What do you mean your house? This is where I LIVE. And be quiet, you’re disturbing my mum and nibblet.”


“What!?!? I woke up and found myself in YOUR crypt! With all my stuff in the drawers! I don’t even remember you knocking me out! What is going on? What did you do to me?” she yelled before adding, “and she is not your mom!” Buffy felt like her head was going to pop from how angry she was that Spike was deciding to mess with her and from the INSANE things he was saying.


Spike had his brows furrowed as he starred at her, like she had completely lost it. “Did you go absolutely insane? You know I live here with MY family and you know you live in a crypt. Do you need some clinical help or something? Or is this another desperate attempt at trying to win over my affection? Go back to your crypt and stay out of my life already.” He opened the front door and started to go back inside.


Her head was reeling. She was livid, to say the least, and she was confused, because she did all of a sudden feel like Spike was the love of her life. She didn’t know why she felt this way - she hadn’t had that heart-wrenching feeling since Angel. ‘This has to be a dream’ she chanted to herself to keep calm.


Angry at the way Spike was turning his back on her, Buffy lunged forward to grab him, when suddenly, she was thrown back as soon as she hit the barrier of the door. She stepped forward again, thinking she must have imagined it, but was faced with an invisible barrier.


“You know I already de-invited you to my house Buffy. Give it up, no humans allowed, especially you,” Spike said with annoyance as he shut the door in her face and locked it.


Buffy suddenly felt lightheaded. She wanted to barf, she wanted to scream and cry and hurt something, but most of all, she wanted it to all be a dream. She was having a hard time breathing, when she realized something to add to her panic – she was sensing a total of 3 vampires in the house. Spike….and Dawn…. and Mom. Her head throbbed and she felt the floor spinning beneath her feet. Unable to bear it anymore, she passed out, right there on the porch of the house on Revello drive that was hers just yesterday.


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A/N: ok I know this “reverse world” may be weird and confusing. Some things are not exactly reversible, so it’s just whatever I think is necessary to be different. I’ll put recaps in (starting next chapter), so that people can follow what is going on in case they missed something.

Spike was heading back up to his room, when he heard a loud thump outside of the front door.

Sighing to himself, Spike headed back down the stairs. ‘What the buggering hell is she doing now?…that chit has gone absolutely insane…’


He opened the door, and saw Buffy lying on the porch, unconscious. A flash of concern swept through his eyes – he hesitated before stepping outside and slowly crouching down beside her. Suddenly, that little bothersome thought crept back into his mind – the one where he always thought Buffy was gorgeous – but he stopped before letting himself get beyond that thought. Spike got back to the issue at hand.


“Hey goldilocks, wake up.” He lightly slapped her cheek to see if she would come to.

----------


Buffy felt like crap. Her eyes began to open at the feel of someone touching her face and the sound of someone talking, but not before realizing she had a major bump on her head that hurt like hell. She was on the porch, but instead of being alone, Spike was hovering above her, saying something to her.


“Spike?” Buffy croaked out in a hoarse whisper.


“Finally - I’ve been trying to wake you up from la-la land for the past 10 minutes. What happened? Don’t tell me you got all dainty on me and just fainted?” Spike’s expression looked amused, but Buffy could have sworn he looked a bit worried – or maybe she was imagining it. He stood up and helped her up by the arm.


It suddenly all came back to her. The crypt, the barrier at the door, and her sense of three vampires in the house. Anger and fear bubbled up inside her, and she didn’t know where to begin.

Spike starred at her curiously, gauging her reaction. To his ultimate surprise, he saw tears well up in her eyes, with anger burning bright behind the unshed tears. He was completely confused – at himself. He felt sympathy for her: he had been very harsh in his rejection of her recent announcement of her feelings for him a few days ago – and now apparently, she had gone insane or something, standing here before him, with confused anger and sorrow. On the outside, he appeared indifferent and looked at her with fake annoyance.


“What the hell happened? What did you do? Cast a spell to take my place in life?” Buffy said with her jaw tight, and her hands fisted at her side as she struggled to hold back the tears.


“Listen you crazy bint, I have absolutely no fucking idea what you are talking about. You just showed up here, ranting and screaming like a bloody bitch, but what else is new.”
As with all of her reactions toward Spike, Buffy stepped forward and punched him in the nose hard. As her fist connected with his nose, a searing pain exploded in her head. She fell to the ground with a scream, as her head continued to ring in blinding pain. She could feel the tears spilling out as she clutched her head.


“Bloody Bitch! What the hell do you think you’re doing!?!?” Spike began to yell as he brought his hand up to check if there was blood. But as the pain subsided and he looked over at Buffy, he saw her curled on the ground clutching her head with tears spilling out of her closed eyes.


At the sight of her vulnerability, sympathy came flooding back to him again. “C’mon now, you knew the rules. Are you suicidal? You know you have the chip. ” Spike helped her up, as Buffy grasped his arms to keep herself stable.


‘Chip? How is that possible? What is going on????’ All of her thoughts further pulled her into despair. She was oblivious to the fact that she was now leaning on Spike’s chest for support. Her face was burrowed into his chest as he ran his hands down her arms and settled at the small of her back.

Spike tensed and quickly let her go when he realized what they were doing. He shoved his hands into his pockets and stepped back. Buffy had a slight pout at the loss of contact, followed by a wave of confusion over what she was just doing in Spike’s arms.


Mustering up his previous indignation at her punch, he added, “I should kick your ass for that hit but I won’t since you obviously went insane...” Letting out a sigh, Spike began, “Maybe Giles can try to find out what’s wrong with you....”

Buffy’s ears perked up at that. “Giles? Yes, we should find him…” Buffy said with a hopeful and pathetic tone.
‘Giles will help me. I just need to calm down and figure this out. There must be a way to break this dream or spell or whatever it is.’


Buffy was about to start walking, when she realized Spike wasn’t following. “Aren’t you coming?” Buffy inquired with a pleading look. She didn’t know why she sounded so pathetic all of a sudden. Or why she had enjoyed that embrace.


“No. I’ve wasted enough time dealing with you.” He didn’t want to keep giving her mixed signals.


She wasn’t use to this. Spike had always taken every opportunity to be by her side. And now he kept implying that SHE was the one that had feelings for HIM. It bothered her, and it bothered her that his remark hurt so much.

She tried to look like she didn’t care. “Fine.” And with that, she turned and walked away.


Sighing to himself as he ran his hands through his hair, Spike thought ‘This would be a lot easier if she were the least bit ugly.’


The walk to the Magic Box gave her some time to think, or rather ramble.


‘Ok. So Spike stole my life and now I have his. Wonderful. Calm down Buffy…. find out more information since no one else will believe a word you’re saying….... I could pretend I have amnesia! I’ll get Giles to explain everything about this world. Maybe Willow cast a spell! I’ll have her do some spell reversal-thingy.’ Buffy continued to walk towards the Magic Box while rambling on in her mind as the absurdity of it all kept her reeling with confusion.


------------------
She opened the Magic Box door, and saw Giles behind the counter and the rest of the Scooby gang at the table. Rushing in, she didn’t stop to think about what she was sensing.


“Guys! I need your help! Something has happened to me! It’s unbelieva-“ Buffy get didn’t to finish her sentence. She realized her senses. They were all vampires.

“Buffy. What makes you think we would help you? We’re not your friends.” Giles said behind a cold stare.


Her eyes went wide. She should have known, but she didn’t think it out. Giles’ remark hurt her, even though she knew they really WERE her friends. But finally, an alarming thought came to her. If they were all vampires, doesn’t that mean that at any moment now they should be getting all fang-y and lunging towards her? But this was the gang! She could stop them if they attacked…


It occurred to her: the chip! …. she panicked inside. She was defenseless and the pain would be too much to put up any sort of fight. She stepped back cautiously.


“You’re vampires…” Buffy both stated and questioned slowly.

“And you are an evil human. What’s with the game of State-the-Obvious?” Xander said with hateful sarcasm.


“I…um…um…lost my memory I think. I can’t remember everything. Spike suggested I come and see if Giles knew anything,” Buffy covered up her shock as best as she could. She needed answers, and it would get her nowhere to yell and scream, especially since they could attack her at any second.

“I’m not complaining, but why exactly are you guys not attacking me if you’re vampires?”


Xander interjected with hateful humor, “I ask myself that everyday. But the others seem to have some annoying protest against it – something about morals and how you have a chip and are defenseless. But I say you’re like a serial killer in prison. Why wait until you get out?”

“You have amnesia?” Giles stepped in with his curiosity. “How did that happen?”

“Well if I knew that, I might not be here confused out of my mind…standing in a room of…vampires…wanting to… kill me.” ‘I can’t believe this – This must be my worst nightmare.’ Buffy was trying to remain calm on the outside.


“Buffy, we aren’t going to kill you. You know, ok well maybe you don’t know since you have amnesia, but we only kill humans when they try to kill us,” Willow piped up. Xander threw her an annoyed glare so she added, “But if you don’t stay out of Spike’s life, then one of us just might…might eat you for dinner!”


This was beyond weird. They were vampires. They had morals. Willow just made an offer to eat her for dinner.

“Ooookkk then. But um, don’t you guys get… hungry around me?” Buffy hoped she wasn’t setting up her own death. The question seemed so bizarre to be said aloud.


“Well Buffy, frankly, you’re not very good. Humans taste like cheap fast food. We’d much rather eat something of the non-human blood variety,” Anya said with chirpiness.


‘Wow, that’s a twist. I’m use to being the one that has the tasty blood,’ Buffy thought comically. Buffy relaxed a bit. Hopefully none of them were starving right now.


“How come you can remember us if you have amnesia?” Willow asked suspiciously. Giles seemed perplexed by the whole thing and kept cleaning his glasses in the corner.


Buffy was debating whether or not to tell them that they were all not really vampires, or whether she should feign amnesia and get more questions answered. She decided she wanted to ask more questions.


“I’m not sure really. I woke up in Spike’s…I mean MY crypt and I just know you guys but I don’t remember anything else. Wait a minute. Why do I live in a crypt and not in a house? That doesn’t make sense and is REALLY gross…” Buffy scrunched her forehead in confusion and disgust.


“Well I guess you could live in a house, but humans are a bit outnumbered, which means we get the houses. Humans bad, humans hide,” Xander felt like he was talking to a 10-year old.


‘That doesn’t really make sense…? Why don’t I live in a nice clean house? Who the hell created this world? What a doof’ Buffy thought.


A light bulb went off in her head. “What about the vam- I mean um, what about Angel and…and,” Buffy tried to think of another vamp, “ Drusilla?” She paused again before adding, “Oh and Riley?”


“Drusilla is human, Buffy. She’s Spike’s ex. She’s somewhere across the world now. Something about how she left for Spike’s own good,” Giles commented.


‘Gee why does that remind me of someone? This is way too creepy.’ Buffy didn’t comment because she was too busy thinking about all they were telling her.


“Who the heck is Riley?” Anya jumped in.


At that moment, Spike had walked into the Magic Shop. In the end, curiosity had won out and he wanted to know how the gang would react to Buffy’s new state of crazy. He eyed Buffy and avoided her gaze quickly and went to stand far away from her. Buffy all of a sudden seemed nervous that Spike was here. She fidgeted with the bottom of her sweater and just focused on looking at the rest of the gang.


“Riley? Who’s that? Sounds like a poncy name,” Spike commented with light humor, as he light up a cigarette.


“Um never mind I guess.” Buffy stammered. ‘He doesn’t exist here? One point for this world.’


“Well what about Angel?” Buffy inquired, trying not to turn her gaze to Spike, who suddenly looked very hot standing there smoking. She waited for the gang to reply and saw Willow was about to say something.


Willow looked concerned. “He was human, you don’t remember him either?” She looked nervous and worried.


“Angel is dead, Buffy.”


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Recap of chapter 1 and 2: Spike (of Season 5) wished that Buffy knew how it felt (this vague wording is purposeful). Buffy wakes up in Spike’s crypt. The world is reversed. All her friends and family are vamps and are now Spike’s friends and family. Vamps are the norm. Humans are the ones who try to kill them. Vamps kill humans only if they are attacked because they don’t taste that great. Humans are evil. Dru and Angel were humans, but Angel is dead. – I truly hope no one is just reading the summary because doesn’t it sound ridiculous this way?

“Angel is dead, Buffy.”

Buffy didn’t even notice that Spike had become very angry during the topic of Angel, since she was deep in her own stupor. “I told you guys not to EVER mention that fucking wanker in front of me AGAIN!” Spike stormed out, but not before giving Buffy a final hateful glare.

Buffy didn’t know what caused Spike’s overdramatic outburst. He had always hated Angel, but not with this much malice. She didn’t have time to think of that, or feel the hurt at his hateful scorn.


Angel was dead? Buffy stood there blinking as she tried to process the thought. One would expect her to react with clear devastation and depression, like when she had to send Angel into Acathla. Denial. Anger. Lots of yelling and crying.

She went for the denial. ‘It’s not real. He isn’t really dead. This place isn’t real. Nothing here is real’ She chanted to herself over and over.


“Buffy?” Willow asked cautiously, since she seemed to be starring intently at something. “Are you ok?”


Buffy looked at her like she was speaking in a foreign language, before registering what she was asking. She blinked a few more times and shook her head to clear her mind.


“Um…yea.” Buffy asked in a small voice, “How did it happen?”


*****3 YEARS AGO*****


“Angel, this really isn’t necessary!” Buffy was trying to plead with him. She glanced over at Dawn, chained up against the wall of the warehouse, with bruises and cuts over her body. Spike was on the opposite side, chained up, vamped out, growling and struggling to get free to save his sister. She had been oblivious to Angel’s plans.


When Angel had finally told her of his great plot and brought her to the warehouse to witness and revel in it all, Buffy felt uneasy at the sight of what Angel had done to Dawn just to taunt Spike. She was a vampire killer, but she wasn’t a torturer, especially of someone who appeared so much like a little girl half the time.


“Buffy,” Angel ran his hand lightly down her cheek with affection,“I know she looks like a little human girl, but she’s not, ok? She’s a vampire. All disgusting and filled with morality.”

Buffy slapped his hand away, very annoyed. “Angel! You don’t need to do this! Killing HIM was the plan when we came to Sunnydale – slayer of slayers blah blah blah. There was nothing about a kid sister in that…” She turned her back on him and crossed her arms across her chest. “I love you, but you’re being cruel, and it’s scaring me. I’m putting my foot down.”

“Sigh. Fineeee. Spoil my fun,” Angel said with a sulky look on his face, “I still thought it was an awesome plan…”


Buffy rolled her eyes – she hated when he got all broody.


Meanwhile, Spike was hearing every annoying word they were exchanging. He hated the dumb couple, but was thankful that Buffy had some sort of boundary in what she would not do – which puzzled him since she was suppose to be an evil soulless human.


He didn’t really have any more time to think about it, as Angel got a mischievous look on his face and approached him.


“I think its time we play, Spike,” Angel said in a teasing tone, but his face was completely serious.


Spike let out a low guttural growl. He was a bit surprised – he had been observing them, but suddenly he realized Buffy had left the room while he was in his thoughts. His worry for Dawn increased. It seemed hopeless, but Spike had to save Dawn – there was no question about that.


“I think I’ll kill you first, in front of your little SISTER, since Buffy doesn’t want me to torture Dawnie in front of you. Everyone wins. Well,” Angel chuckled, “Except you two of course, but vampires never win.”


“Oh, I can prove you wrong. Here’s why: you’re a great big poofter and I always win.” Spike gave him his classic arrogant smirk.


Angel went to pick up a long sword that gleamed in the light and radiated with power. It was so sharp that you could see your hair splitting as you looked at it. “I’m getting bored. Let’s not waste anymore time. I think a nice dusty decapitation would be great! Don’t you think so?” Angel looked evilly amused.


“Dawnie, pay attention now. This will be your last memory of your big brother, but don’t worry it won’t hurt too long. You’re next.”


At that, Angel turned completely serious, brought back the sword, and swung it with a thrifty but powerful swing towards Spike’s neck.


Spike had his eyes closed. Swiftly, he swung his arms forward with lightning speed and brought the chains into range with the sword. He ducked down immediately as the sword hit the wall behind him right above his head.


Angel appeared shocked and angry. Quickly before resuming to the fight, Spike added, “I told you that you were a poofter. What kind a grand plan involves a sword in range of my chains?”


Spike lunged forward and swirled his body in a 360, whipping the chain connected to his wrists fiercely against Angel’s neck and face. Angel fell with the harsh blow and let out a painful yell, dropping the sword.


Buffy’s head jerked up at his cry – she had left the room because she didn’t like the nagging tinges of guilt she was feeling at being a part of Angel’s plan, but now she regretted leaving, because Angel was in trouble. She darted back into the room to see Spike pummeling Angel and throwing him against the wall. Angel was able to get in a fierce blow to Spike’s gut and a painful elbow to his head. As Spike landed on his hands on the ground in pain, both Buffy and Spike saw that the sword was within his reach.


“Angel! Watch out!” Buffy yelled as she ran forward and leaped up, kicking the sword of Spike’s loose grasp. As she came back down to the ground, she landed gracefully on her feet, but quickly launched her legs up to kick Spike in the head, while her upper body went towards the ground for leverage.


But Buffy took too long of a millisecond to get back up from her kick. Spike had already recovered. He picked her up by her tiny frame and launched her across the room, where she came crashing painfully into the wall. He came toward her quickly and backhanded her fiercely, followed by a direct punch to her pretty face. ‘What a shame’ He thought ever so briefly.


Buffy staggered, but pushed the pain aside to straighten herself, just in time to catch Spike’s arm in a strong grip as he was about to launch another punch. With her hand still gripping his arm, she delivered a strong upper hook to the right side of his chin.


“NO ONE hits my nose!” Buffy added, extremely pissed off that she would have bruises on her face.


Spike was about to get back into it with Buffy…


“Oh Spikeee…” Angel said in a singsong voice. “Look what I got.”


Spike and Buffy froze in their actions and turned in Angel’s direction. They yelled at the same time. “Get the hell away from her, you bloody wanker!” “Angel, no!”


Both of them could tell that Angel was about to bring back the stake and plummet it into Dawn’s heart, as she looked terrified with tears rolling down her cheeks and her eyes shut tight.


Spike saw the sword on the ground. So did Buffy. In a fraction of a second, Spike grabbed the sword and flung it swiftly toward Angel’s form, certain Dawn was safe at that angle. Angel didn’t even have time to react, with how fast the sword came at him. It landed straight into his chest, slightly piercing the left side of his heart.


Buffy’s eyes widened at the sight of it all came crashing down on her. She ran toward Angel, crying his name. Spike quickly freed Dawn, who had fainted. He put her over his shoulder and before he turned to leave, he cast a glance towards Buffy. For some reason, he couldn’t help the thought that crossed his mind, no matter how satisfied he felt at Angel’s condition. ‘Sorry luv’


Buffy was left with Angel, dying in her arms. “Angel...please don’t die! You’ll be ok! We just have to get you to the hospital, everything will be ok, just hang in there,” Buffy sobbed uncontrollably, as she brought her face close to his.


“Buffy,” Angel whispered lovingly with his last fiber of strength as he reached out to brush his hand against her cheek, “…you’ll always be mine.” With that, his weak heartbeat came to a soft halt.


“Noooooo!!!” Buffy cried out in between tears, “Nooo! Angel Angel Angel Angel” she shook his lifeless body in denial, “ANGEL!!!” It wasn’t just that she had just lost the ‘love of her life’ – she felt an intense wave of guilt – on some level, she knew she let Spike win, by allowing him to get that sword as she stood and watched.



******Back in Present day of Reverse World******


It was in these moments that the gang forgot what Buffy really was. Tears were streaming down her face from the gang’s version of her non-existent memories. She seemed so much like just a pretty and helpless girl – they had to constantly remind themselves that this was the same person who had tried to kill them countless times.

“There is NO way I would do those things,” Buffy uttered through clenched teeth and angry tear-stained eyes.


“Well you did. And that’s why you’re not welcome here,” Giles said with a stern matter-of-fact voice. “Listen, if we’re going to even remotely assist you with this amnesia thing, you have to get something straight. We are not your friends. We are not your way to Spike. This thing ... get over it.”

With that, she looked stunned and hurt. This place was tearing her down emotionally – everything and everyone was against her – it was all too much, even if she knew it wasn’t real. With a hurt look toward the rest of the gang, she turned and fled outside of the Magic Box, incidentally right into the arms of Spike.


-----------------------------------------------------------------


At the mention of Angel, he had instantly become angry at the memories. To calm himself down, he stood outside the Magic Box, finishing his smoke and thinking through his thoughts. He put out his smoke with his boot, and turned to go back inside, when all of a sudden a blur of blonde came rushing out, crashing right into him.


His arms came up to grasp her by the shoulders so they wouldn’t tumble to the ground. “Watch out! You silly-,” Spike cut himself off when he finally got a clear look at Buffy’s face. Her face was all puffy and moist, but the tears had apparently stopped, replaced by a look of hopelessness.


Buffy didn’t say anything, as she just looked up into his eyes with a sort of desperation. Still in each other’s arms, they stood like that for a second, not knowing what to do.


She didn’t want to think anymore. Everything around them seemed to freeze. The only thought that she could concentrate on was the fact that she was in Spike’s arms, and her heart was beating rapidly from his touch. She was starring at his lips, which suddenly looked so appealing, and Spike noticed the direction of her gaze, not being able to stop himself from starring at her bottom lip in return.

Buffy suddenly crushed her lips to his in a searing kiss and began to run her hands against his face demanding more. Spike let down his guard and eagerly returned the kiss, with a lust that he had suppressed all this time. Both of them sought to deepen the kiss with increased passion – Spike had pulled her flush against him, and both were moaning into each other’s mouths as they continued to massage each other’s lips frantically. Spike heatedly slammed Buffy against the wall of the building, and his hands began to travel under her clothing savoring the touch of her silky skin. Buffy breathed a raspy breath as his cool hands met with her flushed skin, and brought up her legs to wrap around his waist, pulling herself against his obvious arousal.


Spike tensed at her response and the realization of where this was going. He pulled out of the kiss reluctantly, sliding her down his body onto her feet. With his forehead against hers, he breathed deeply and fought to regain the composure he lost from the lust he had been unable to control.


“What?” Buffy looked confused and very frustrated that he stopped.


“We shouldn’t do this, luv,” Spike stepped back slightly with his hands still firmly on her arms as if holding her back.


“What?!? Why? We kinda already started!” Buffy was frustrated that he stopped their kiss – She knew he wanted it just as much and had felt that evidence in their close embrace – ‘Something’s never change what ever world you’re in. I can tell he loves me even here’ She briefly thought with an arrogant attitude.


“Because it’s wrong. I would be using you.” Spike said this part with a deceivingly calm and decided tone.


Buffy’s eyes widened with fury. ‘USING ME!?!’ She was outraged at his words. She was about to violently push him away from her and beat him to a pulp when she remembered the CHIP.


“Get your hands OFF of me.” She said calmly, but with heated anger in her tone. ‘I have had enough. Everyone thinks they can push me around. I’m done crying.’ Buffy thought with angry resolve.


While Buffy glared at him with fierce intensity, Spike felt sorry for his words. He knew what it felt like to be used – Drusilla had shown him how much that could hurt. Before he could say another word to Buffy, she stormed off with a permanent pissed off look on her face.


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“Don’t you think this is all a bit cruel and over the top?” said a male voice.

“Well, it IS an abrupt method,” the female said slowly, “but I think it more than gets the job done, don’t you think? Plus, I am having SO much fun watching her squirm.”


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Recap of chapter 3: Angel is dead and Buffy finds out in a general flashback (its artistic freedom ok?). Buffy and Angel = soulless humans set out to kill vamps, especially Spike, who was unofficially deemed the ‘slayer of slayers.’ Buffy gets chipped by the vamp soldiers. Angel kidnaps Dawn to lure Spike without Buffy’s knowledge. Buffy finds out and feels guilt at the sight of Dawn, though she’s supposed to be “soulless.” Spike gets out of his chains, battle ensues (u skimmed that part? Well go back and read it! It took me forever. Lol.) Angel is about to kill Dawn; Spike flings a sword at him. Angel dies with some jerk-y words disguised in a loving tone. Buffy feels she let Spike win and is ridden with guilt. Back to present reverse world, Buffy is upset, runs outside right into Spike. Slight Spuffy ensues. Spike stops it, and tells her they can’t continue because it’s wrong and he would be using her (he wants her physically but its wrong!) Exit pissed off Buffy.
Two unidentified voices are talking as they watch Buffy in reverse world.



A/N: Thank you to my savior, Jessica! She gets total credit for saving me from my crappy format and suggesting a flashback style story. On another note, here’s a hint for my method of thinking in the fic: whenever you think about something being said to Buffy or anything in this world for that matter, think about that situation with Spike, and vice-versa. Not all things are perfect but you will see many things are just the way the opposite person would do/did.

She needed to clear her head, and not think about Spike. All of this – this place, the soul-ed vampires, the soulless humans – nothing made sense to her. ‘Everything is flip-flop…vampires are good and humans are bad? How ridiculous! I’m not soulless! And I don’t love Spike!’ She continued to think of all the ridiculous things she had heard today. Worst of all, she was no where close to understanding how to get out of here.


‘What do I do? I need a plan. Think, Buffy, think!’ She yelled to herself as she walked the streets of Sunnydale. Amidst her thoughts she realized that the only thing she could do was to go back to the gang and try to get their help – who else did she depend on to help her solve the Sunnydale mysteries? Just the thought of how Giles and the rest of the gang treated her made her wince. And the kiss made her frown. Was she really only a few minutes away from having sex with him? How did she allow it to get that far?


“Oh Slayerrrr…” came a female voice.

Buffy didn’t find an answer to her internal questions. ‘Will someone leave me alone long enough to think!?’ Turning around with obvious annoyance, she came face to face with Harmony.

“Harmony? What are you-,” Buffy paused. Harmony was human. “Huh? You’re human?”

Harmony had one arm on her hip as she rolled her eyes. “Um OK. And people say I’m a dumb blonde. What’s your deal?”


“I…um…nothing. So-,” Buffy began, not sure of how to react. ‘All the humans are vampires…and all the demons are humans…except for me and Spike? Huh.’

“Whatever. What do you think you’re doing on my territory? You know my crypt is around here! People will think you’re associated with me and think I’ve become a backstabber like you have! We had a deal remember? I won’t unleash my minions on you, and you won’t tell anyone that I actually talk to you.”


“What? Unleash your minions?” Buffy thought for a second what that meant here. “Your…human minions? Who signed up for that lame job?”
“Oh shut up. Just go back to your own crypt or I’ll…I’ll…think of something really good to do to you and hurt you real bad!” Harmony said unbelievable conviction.

“Sure, Harmony. I’ll just go now because I’m really terrified of you.” Buffy said sarcastically, as she turned to walk away. ‘She’s an airhead anywhere you go.’

‘Sigh. I can’t do this right now. I’m going to sleep and tomorrow I’ll go check up on mom and Dawn.’ Buffy made a face when she remembered where she had to go back to sleep.


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Buffy woke up feeling really cold, and remembered where she had gone to sleep after encountering Harmony: the crypt.

She got up to go see her mom and Dawn as soon as possible, until her stomach began to grumble at her uncontrollably.

With a groan, she got up and went to the fridge. To her pleasant surprise, the fridge was stacked with real food – milk, bread, veggies, lunch meat, leftover steaks, etc. She felt like she could eat the whole fridge.

“oOo cookies,” Buffy noticed happily, grabbing two.

After her two-cookie meal, she dressed quickly and headed out towards Revello Drive, suddenly feeling very nervous.

‘I don’t know if I can handle seeing them like vampires…How will they react towards me?’ She twisted her fingers in her hands while biting on her bottom lip nervously.


She approached the house slowly, not sure whether she should actually knock on the door. Buffy heard voices coming from inside – stepping to peer inside the window, she saw mom, Dawn and Spike, in the kitchen.



******Inside the House******


“Mom, can I go to a friend’s house?” Dawn inquired eagerly, with an angelic expression.


Joyce was stirring the cocoa she was making, while Spike popped marshmallows in his mouth, waiting and leaning against the counter for his mum to finish making him a cup.


“No, you can’t.” Spike said plainly.


“Why nottttt? Shut up Spike!” Dawn whined. She turned to Joyce hopefully, “Mom? Can I go?”


“Spike, why don’t you want Dawn to go?” Joyce said calmly, not turning around from her task.


“Welllllll…” Spike began with a taunting look towards Dawn. Dawn abruptly turned to Spike with pleading eyes.


“…DAWN here, decided to go and skip around with some mini-poofter the last time she told you she ‘wanted to go to a friend’s house.’ Then, I had to go rescue her ass again, because her little date decided it would be mighty fun to go to the human-side of town.” Spike finished with a lifted eyebrow and a lecturing look.


Joyce turned around to look at Dawn with a stern motherly look. “Honey, you know that you’re not allowed to go to the cemetery! How many times do I have to tell you? I’m sorry, but you can’t go out tonight because you’re grounded.”


Dawn crossed her arms and pouted, with her eyes averted to the ground.


“Oh here we go again! Always with the pout…” Spike rolled his eyes and threw a marshmallow at her playfully. Dawn threw him an angry look, but when Joyce glanced back at Dawn, she quickly resumed her pout.


“SIGH. I guess I’ll just sit in my room. ALONE. Doing NOTHING.” She put on her best puppy dog face and when Joyce shook her head ‘no’ in an answer, Dawn began to step heavily out of the kitchen in a dramatic display. “Fine! Ruin my life!”


“I’ll tell you what, bit. We’ll watch movies and eat junk food. How’s that huh?” Spike offered as a brotherly gesture to ease her punishment and make up for having sold her out. He always felt bad whenever he had to be the mean big brother.


Dawn didn’t answer, but rather lifted up her head slowly to look at him with an angry glare.


“C’mon…you’re such a fake,” Spike suddenly tickle-attacked her until she giggled and broke her act. “See, what did I tell you, mum? A regular drama queen.”


“Alright you two.” Joyce turned to look at both of her children, and patted both of their cheeks, eliciting a “mum!” from Spike, who hated when she treated him like a little boy. It threatened his masculinity ok?


“Let’s eat dinner and have some cocoa first. Then you guys can do your little movie-fest.” Joyce brought out two mugs for each of them on the dining table, one with cocoa, and one with warm blood.


“What are we having?” Dawn chirped, forgetting her previous anger and disappointment.

“It’s cow’s blood today.” Joyce answered. “Let me know if it’s warm enough.”


After they were seated at the table, they all simultaneously vamped out and began to drink eagerly.


Spike only put his mug down, at the sound of something outside.


-------------------------------------


Buffy had been watching them intently. She saw Dawn put on her dramatics and her mom making something on the stove. It shocked her how much they looked like a real family. Even more so, she was shocked at how wonderful Spike was interacting with them. He was so normal at that moment, that she completely forgot all her presumptions about him. The sight warmed her heart, at the same time she was resentful that SHE was suppose to be in there.


She had been perfectly still, until she saw them all sit down at the dining table. Then the reality of this world came crashing down upon her, as for the first time, she saw her mom and Dawn, vamp out. Letting out a gasp, she stepped back, snapping a twig under her foot.


‘I sensed they were, and Spike told me, but I really didn’t believe it. Oh god oh god…’ She fought to remain calm and not tear up. At that moment, Spike burst out of the front door to scan the yard, as his eyes caught Buffy standing there in the dark.


“Buffy! What the hell are you doing here!?” Spike yelled as he decided to be pissed off and completely ignore what had happened earlier between them. “You’re not spying on me again, are you?”


“What? No! I just…I came to say hi to Dawn and Mo-, I mean Joyce,” She quickly recovered.


“Listen Slayer, stay away from them. They’re not your friends.” Spike said calmly and firmly.


Suddenly, Joyce, emerged through the door that Spike had left hanging open. “Spike? Why’d you leave? You haven’t finished your dinner...” She saw Spike standing in front of Buffy in the yard.


“Oh hi Buffy! How are you?” Joyce gave her a pleasant smile, as she morphed back into human appearance.


Spike sighed in frustration, also changing out of his vamp face – no matter what he said or what happened, he couldn’t convince his mum to stop being nice to Buffy. Joyce made it extremely difficult to cut Buffy out of all of their lives.


Buffy was relieved to see that her mom treated her with welcome, and definitely relieved that she let her vamp face slide away. “I just wanted to say hi to you and Dawn, to see how you were doing,” said Buffy quietly and added a timid smile, trying to appear as undisturbed as possible.
“Oh how nice of you! I’m doing great. Let me get Dawn out here…” Joyce turned to call Dawn. “Dawn! Come out here for a moment, sweety.”


“Mum!” Spike yelled in frustration.


“Oh relax. She’s just going to say hi really quick.” Joyce ignored Spike’s huffy mood.


“Hi Buffy! Omg I’m so glad you came because I really wanted to show you these cute tops I got at the mall! I was going to go visit you, but Spike yelled at me and wouldn’t let me leave the house,” said Dawn all in one breath, and then turned to glare at Spike a moment. “You prison warden.”


“I’m sorry Dawnie. I…I’ve been busy, but I’m here now.” Buffy suddenly realized how much she loved Dawn and her mom. It’s not until you don’t have them that you realize how important they are.


“Will you two for once just remember that she is human?! Go back inside now. I need to talk to Buffy alone please.” Spike said between gritted teeth.


Dawn pouted and Joyce ushered her daughter into the house with her, exchanging a good-bye with Buffy. Buffy mostly appeared dazed through this whole exchange, since she was shocked from the vamping and caught in her thoughts. Buffy’s eyes followed her mom and sister, until they were inside and out of her view. Turning back to Spike, her eyes were met with angry cerulean blue.


“Ok, before you say anything, NO I did not come here for you. I really just came to see if they were O.K.” Buffy interjected quickly.


“Buffy, they’re not you’re family. If you were in my position, wouldn’t you keep you away too? I know you have a chip, but Dawn is young and easily persuaded. You’ll get her mixed up in the human world. It’s dangerous.” Spike said angrily, but with a surprising amount of control.


It hit Buffy. This IS exactly how she would act if she were in his position, because that’s HER position! ‘…wow, Dawn must hate me.’ Buffy pondered about her controlling manner toward Dawn back home in her world.


“You’re right Spike.” Buffy said finally with a decided voice.


“Huh?” Spike moved his head back, looking at her like she grew another head. “Did you just admit I’m right? Have you got a fever or something? Still a bit of the crazy?” He tilted his head in wonder.


He hesitated a second before adding firmly, “Well you’re damn well right I’m right.”


“Don’t get all cocky about it,” She rolled her eyes as her arms were folded. “I’m just saying, I don’t want Dawn in danger either.”


Both of them shared a silent moment, looking each other in the eyes, remembering what had happened between them yesterday and feeling a teensy bit of something else at each other’s mutual love for Dawn. Buffy was first to break the moment, “Alright well, I need to get to the Magic Box and find out some information.” She turned to leave, avoiding Spike’s gaze.


“Information for what?” Spike inquired curiously, watching her go.


Buffy paused without turning to face him. “Um…for this problem I have. You know…my amnesia and stuff.” She didn’t really know what to tell him, so she kept walking. They were at a peaceful truce for the time being, and accusing him of taking her life wouldn’t really help anyone.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


“You know, she’s regaining her composure quite quickly. Who knows when she’ll have her little revelation?” commented the male voice.


The female was frustrated. “She’s ruining my fun!” She paused to calm down. “She has to stay vulnerable and confused until everything is ready. I can still add to the game as long as she doesn’t understand it yet...” she said mischeviously.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


She walked into the Magic Box as determined as she could. Giles looked up at the sound of the door opening.


“Giles, I know you don’t want me here, but I really need to find out some important information about my amnesia or what’s happening to me. I…I know I’m not your friend…” Buffy said slowly, “but I can assure you this has nothing to do with getting closer to Spike.” She thought it all sounded completely deranged.


Giles took his time to reply. “Well, if I can have your word that this isn’t all some ploy, then I guess I can help you, as long as it is within reasonable terms.”


The rest of the gang came out from the back room at that moment.

“Vamp food, what are you doing here again? Don’t you ever give up?” Xander asked with annoyance.


“Xander, it’s ok. She’s not here for Spike.” Giles turned back to Buffy, “What kind of information do you need?”


“I need to find out if there has been any fishy business in Sunnydale recently. Any strange activities like…spells or self-induced nightmare dimensions perhaps? And I need information on if someone could possibly…reverse the world.”


Xander, Giles, Willow and Anya stared at her with a puzzled look.


“Ok here’s the thing: I had a dream last night and I’m not sure if it was a Slayer vision. I saw someone reversing the world, changing the order of things. Like humans were the majority and vampires were evil.” Buffy knew they would laugh in her face.


And they did. “Hahahaha that’s funny Buffy. In your dreams though!” Xander clutched his stomach as he laughed.


“Listen, I know it may sound ridiculous to you. But I got this feeling when I had the dream – the one I get when I dream of a vision. Can we just spend a little while and look into it? If this is real, it could mess up life as we know it.” Buffy finished with a convincing and serious tone.


“Oh… you’re serious aren’t you?” Willow scrunched her forehead in perplexed thought. “Well, I can see if there are any spells on that, but I’ve never heard of it.” Willow went to get her laptop.


Two hours later, still nothing. Hopelessness crept its way back into Buffy’s emotions.


As everyone was getting up to take a break, a brick flew through the window, shattering the glass with a loud commotion and jolting everyone’s attention to the source.


-------------------------------------------------------------

Buffy looked up, but whoever had thrown the brick was nowhere to be seen. “What was all that about?” Buffy began, puzzled at the solitary act.


“Everyone, get ready. We need to hurry.” Giles said with determined focus.


“For what? What’s happening?” Buffy inquired, confused.


“It’s the humans. It’s this guy named Rack who has been attacking us every so often. He’s gotten together some kind of gang to try to kill us, especially Spike. There are a lot of them, so be ready.”


“That’s it? Humans?? Oh c’mon, we can easily manage that!” Buffy said before realizing what that meant in the fight that was about to come. Whose side was she suppose to be on? Humans? Or her friends? They had always been one and the same. She pondered about the chip, but realized that if she had Spike’s life, then it should mean she would be able to fight her own “evil” kind. ‘I just need to help keep my friends alive – I don’t have to kill any humans either.’


Suddenly, a wooden arrow flew through the window, and landed in the bookcase splitting the wood, two inches away from Buffy. Before she had time to be pissed off, time seemed to slow as she saw an entire wave of arrows flying toward them.


“Duck!” Buffy yelled at the rest of them, as they flung their bodies to the ground as fast as possible. But Willow was too late, as a wooden arrow pierced her in her arm (luckily avoiding her heart) and she fell to the floor screaming in pain.


“Willow!” Buffy cried in concern. She couldn’t run to help her best friend, as she saw the humans running into the Magic Box at full speed. Human or not, she was going to kick their ass.


One of the guys angrily attacked her and punched her in the gut, making her slightly double over. ‘What the hell? When did humans learn how to hit that hard?’ She thought to herself quickly, before she launched herself into Buffy-battle mode, throwing a round of fierce punches.


The rest of the gang, including Giles, had vamped out and were busy fending off their own group of attackers, since they had vampire strength and all. Buffy saw in the corner of her eye – 4 humans were outnumbering Anya, as she struggled to keep her ground. Two suddenly grabbed her by the arms, and one of them was about to stake her.


Xander came up with an angry growl behind the man with a stake and twisted his neck abruptly, while Anya took the opportunity to free herself and fight the other 3. “Keep your nasty hands off her, you low lifes!”


Buffy had just finished taking care of her group of attackers, and witnessed what Xander did. She starred at the dead human on the ground with his head twist in a weird direction, not sure if she should be mortified or not. Memory of Willow’s words passed through her head: we only kill humans when they try to kill us. Remembering Willow’s arm, she looked over at where Willow had fallen to the ground in pain. Standing there, with a stake over Willow’s chest, was Rack.


“Ok Boys, it’s time to move the party!” Rack boomed at his human minions, who reluctantly backed off, wanting more violence. He turned to leer at the rest of the gang, settling his eyes on Buffy, as Willow looked angry, but scared at the stake so close to plunging into her chest. “Tell Spike to show up too, unless you all want to see this one die a painnnful death.” With an evil smirk, he took Willow and left.
Buffy was about to sprint after them, when Giles held her back. “Wait Buffy!”


“What?! They just took Willow! We need to follow them before they kill her!” Buffy urged, confused at the gang’s slow reaction to Willow’s kidnapping.


“They’re not going to try to kill her yet. They’re trying to get Spike and the rest of us to show up on their grounds. They probably have a lot of back up waiting to ambush us in the cemetery. We need to inform Spike before we can go – you rush in now, and they’ll kill her before you can say ‘evil humans’,” Xander added, annoyed at Buffy’s stupidity.


She wasn’t use to not making the rules and not knowing what was going on. It bothered her a lot, but she needed to help Willow, so she complied. Buffy sighed, “Ok fine. What’s the plan?”


---------------------------------------------------


A few minutes later, Spike had rushed to join them, and they were all getting some weapons ready to go. “Spike, did you get any others to come and help?” Giles inquired.


“Yea, I called them. They’ll be there. I told them to come in a couple minutes, so Rack won’t see ‘em first. I’ll go after Rack and get Red free, you guys take care of the rest.” Spike said commandingly, as everyone just nodded in agreement. “Wait, why are YOU here?” Spike turned to look at Buffy for the first time, with annoyance in his eyes.


“To help save Willow, what do you think I’m here for? You? Get the hell over yourself. You’ll have to kill me to stop me from going to help save her,” Buffy shot back, pissed off that he treated her with such insignificance.


“Fine. We need the muscle anyway.” Spike immediately started heading out, with the gang behind him.


‘Did he just call me muscle?!’ Buffy said insulted. She suddenly felt manly and unattractive. She followed them, with a pout on her face.

---------------


Arriving at the cemetery within mere minutes, Spike put his hand up in warning to slow the group to a halt in the middle of the darkness. “Wait. They’re close.” Everything stilled for them, as they all tried to sense where all of the humans were hiding. “I’m going to try to go straight for Rack. Buffy, I need you to back me up.” Spike turned to her and momentarily stalled his eyes on hers, with an emotion that neither could quite name.


“I’m on it.” Buffy said quietly but seriously, still gazing into his eyes. Their gaze broke, with a sudden noise that got their attention. In a sudden quickening of the moment, a mass of humans came at them from every direction, eagerly ready for barbaric violence.


The humans outnumbered them about 6 to 1, attacking them from all directions. Buffy struggled to maintain her ground against the numbers at first, but found it easier than fighting vamps back home – they were strong (evil did that to them) but not strong enough.


She decided at that moment, that she’d try not to kill them, but wouldn’t worry about the others– after all, this world isn’t real. She jolted out of her thoughts as she hit a guy in the face, and delivered a swift kick to another. She sprinted onto the top of a tombstone, quickly jumping off, delivering a heavy kick and knocking the guy out. Landing with a somersault, she stood up to continue her battle, keeping her eye out for Rack.


Spike had already killed 8 guys and 1 really butch looking woman, moving to kill the last one – who was quite meaty and ugly looking. The human lunged at him ferociously, but Spike was too quick for him. He slide out of the way and grabbed the back of the guy’s head, slamming it violently against a crypt entrance, twice. He picked him up with amazing strength, and flung him back several yards, as the guy’s body landed roughly on a tombstone, with a crack.


He looked to his friends and saw that there were many more humans left, possibly too much for them to handle. But it was then that he saw Rack, in the background, standing with Willow in front of him in his grasp. “Ohh Spike…look what I’ve got,” as he ran his deformed fingers along the side of Willow’s face, smiling evilly. He turned serious. “I think it’s time we settle this once and for all,” throwing a wounded Willow to two of his minions behind him.


Spike growled and lunged forward at the same time as Rack. Both of them punched each other in the face at the same time, swaggering slightly, before returning to tear each other’s throats out. A round of powerful throws were exchanged, when suddenly Rack delivered a blow straight to the front of Spike’s neck, causing him to slightly choke at the pressure. Rack attacked him with a few blows while he was down. Spike stood up after taking a few shots to the face, picked Rack up by the back of his jacket, raising him into the air and bringing him crashing down on his knee.


In the background, the vampires Spike called had showed up to help, evening out the odds a little bit. Buffy tried to work her way over to Spike and Willow, remembering she was suppose to back him up, but the humans were ganging up on her in greater numbers, as if they knew.


She saw Rack get in a good shot, sending Spike back a few feet. In that instant, she realized she was too far from them. Rack took Spike’s moment of pain, to reach Willow again. He was going to kill her first.


“Say goodbye to the little witch!” Rack grinned evilly. Willow struggled in her game face as best she could, but she was too weak from the wound. Rack grabbed a stake from one of his minions. Spike and Buffy both watched in horror, they were too far, and had nothing on them.


Suddenly, before Rack could raise the stake, a female vampire jumped out of nowhere and grabbed Rack’s body away from Willow, sinking her teeth into his neck. Quickly after, she pulled her fangs out and twisted his head, throwing his body on the ground.


“Oh gross. I knew humans tasted bad, but he’s got to be the worst one I’ve ever tried.” The female vampire exclaimed with distaste apparent on her vamped face.


The humans had all either been knocked out, or killed, with the help of the other vampires. The gang ran to Willow, helping her up and dislodging the arrow in her arm as she painfully cried out.


Buffy and Spike were both looking at the female vampire who had killed Rack so abruptly in surprise.


Buffy examined the vamp – she looked strong, her curves accentuated her powerful and toned build. Her hair was a curly flow of blonde silk and her black top left little to the imagination, leaving her breasts billowing slightly at the dip of the fabric. As the vampire changed into human resolve, Buffy saw she had striking grey eyes and high cheekbones, making her appear slightly mesmerizing, or annoying, in Buffy’s case.


“Spike! Did you miss me?” The female vampire walked seductively closer to Spike’s surprised form and placed her arms around his neck, starting to kiss him. He fumbled in kissing her back, thrown that she had returned so soon.


“Leanna, what are doing back so soon?” Spike asked her confused as he held her from kissing him.


“Oh god I just couldn’t stand my family anymore! And that town! The humans were so bent up on killing me, but it was like fighting off annoying knats! Aren’t you glad I’m back though?” She asked coyly, waiting for his answer.


Buffy hated her. There was something about ‘Leanna’ that pissed off every bone in her body. The way she was hanging on Spike made her think of those trashy hoes. Plus, she seemed to fit more as an evil vampire than as a ‘good’ one.


“Of course I did, luv…” Spike began to say to her, until Leanna caught sight of Buffy in the corner of her eye. She flung her head to the side, her long blonde curls bouncing energetically. Leanna’s eyes turned a stormy angry grey, as she glared at Buffy.


“What the hell is she doing here?” Leanna demanded angrily, as she turned back to Spike with a slight whine in her anger. “She is always around when I’m gone!”


“Buffy, I thought we resolved this ‘issue’? You stop trying to steal Spike and I won’t kill you!” Leanna exclaimed with comedic exasperation.


“Who the hell do you think you are? Guys, who is this skank?” Buffy was angrily trying to control her obvious rage. ‘I SO want to kick ass right now,’ she thought but she remembered the chip, and never felt so frustrated in her entire life. Every fiber in her body wanted to attack her right now. But the rest of the gang was busy helping Willow.


“Huh? What’s wrong with her? She seems extra stupid today,” Leanna whispered not too quietly in Spike’s ear.


Spike was starring at Buffy, gauging her reaction to this all. She seemed really pissed off, but he turned back to the woman in his arms. “Oh yea, um, Buffy supposedly has a case of amnesia or some rot like that. Came to my door step all crazy and bug-eyed,” Spike replied to Leanna, making fun of Buffy for show.


Leanna started laughing in Spike’s arms. “You mean she’s this bitchy even when she forgets everything? How sad,” she said with a toss of her golden curls.


Buffy knew the consequences. She walked right up to Leanna, and punched her in the face, as the searing pain exploded once again in her head. She clutched her head and cried out in agony, with tears at the corners of her eyes. She turned her head up to glare at Leanna, who was vamped out and being held back by Spike. “That was completely worth it.” With an angry and slightly wounded look in her eyes, Buffy turned and stormed off with her hand still holding the side of her head.


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She plopped herself down on her shoddy couch in the crypt. She was exhausted from the fight, and hoped that Willow was ok. She had stormed off without checking up on her, but knew that the gang had it covered, especially since Willow is a vamp and has vampire healing. Her thoughts fled to the couple.


‘That bastard kissed me when he had a girlfriend!! I am going to find a way to dust his ass! And what kind of name is Leanna?? It’s like she thinks everyone has to hold a ceremony every time her name is uttered, that skanky ho! I bet her boobs aren’t even real…’ Buffy pouted as she looked down at her chest.


While she was looking down at herself, the crypt door opened slightly, and Buffy tensed, becoming alert.


“Who is it?” Buffy demanded sternly.


Dawn peaked her head into the crypt. “It’s me,” as she stepped inside and closed the door behind her.


Buffy relaxed and softened her expression. “Dawn, what are you doing here? It’s late, won’t mom worry about you?” Dawn didn’t notice there was no ‘your’ in front of ‘mom.’


“I just wanted to hang out with you for a little bit. I’ll go home in a few minutes, I swear,” Dawn looked at Buffy hopefully.


Buffy hesitated for a brief second before giving in to Dawn’s hopeful look. “Ok, but just for a few minutes…” Buffy couldn’t help but respond.


“Cool! You’re the greatest!” Dawn hugged Buffy ecstatically. Buffy was stunned. Dawn hardly ever treated her like this back home. She wondered just how much time Dawn really spent with Spike back in the real world…


Dawn plopped herself down and crossed her legs Indian style on the couch. She noticed that Buffy looked a bit worn. “Are you okay Buffy? Did something happen today?” Dawn asked inquiringly.


“Oh it’s nothing you need to worry about. We had a little run in with some humans who kidnapped Willow. Her arm is hurt, but she’ll be ok now.” Buffy said quickly.


“Willow’s hurt? Oh no...does Tara know yet??” Dawn asked, concerned.


Buffy knew there was something missing: Tara’s peaceful presence. It was sad that even still now, Tara was always the one in the background. “Where is Tara? I haven’t seen her anywhere,” she asked with a frown.


“Willow said she took a short trip, but didn’t really explain it. She was supposed to be back today…” Dawn explained.

“Well, Tara didn’t come back, some other girl did…” Buffy mumbled bitterly under her breath.

“Let me guess. Leanna’s back?” Dawn asked with annoyance.


“You…you don’t like her?” Buffy looked at Dawn hopefully, happy to hear she wasn’t alone. “Uh Dawn, who is she? I don’t remember her at all...you know, my amnesia thing?” Buffy hoped they still bought it.


“Yea, Spike mentioned it to me. Well, more like he warned me to stay away from you because you’d gone crazy and claimed everything was yours…” Dawn began with a giggle. She suddenly became quiet and looked thoughtful. “Wait, but you remember me right?” She had a worried and confused look on her face.


“Of course I do, Dawnie. I…I can’t remember a lot, but I remember YOU.” Buffy leaned forward and gave Dawn’s hand a comforting squeeze. She pulled away and straightened up, “Now about this Leanna. Who is she and why do I have a feeling we’ve tried to kill each other many times before?”


Dawn giggled before beginning to explain, “Well it’s obvious you guys hate each other’s guts, with you two fighting over Spike’s attention all the time. She wanted to kill you after you got chipped, but Spike wouldn’t let her because he said it was wrong since you can’t hurt them anymore. Ugh I don’t like her – she’s always treating me like I’m five and shooing me away so she can hang all over Spike…”


“Wait a second, we fight over SPIKE’S attention? There’s no way I would do that!” Buffy cried indignantly. ‘Spike stopped her from killing me because it was wrong?’


“Buffy, everyone already knows you love him. You don’t have to pretend anyway, I’d much rather Spike go out with you – he’s just too stubborn.” Dawn continued matter-of-factly.


“I don’t love Spike! Whatever I said before, I was just out of my mind, it wasn’t me!” Buffy protested, trying to convince more than just Dawn.


“Then why do you hate Leanna?” Dawn asked with an uplifted brow.


“Because!! She…She has stupid hair!” Buffy knew it was a lame response and added, “And she looks like she playing on the wrong side…she doesn’t seem good at all!”


“Believe me, I tried to tell Spike she seemed kinda creepy. I mean, who the heck has grey eyes? But Spike wouldn’t listen to me – he just always makes me feel guilty because one time Leanna saved me from some crazy guys while I was walking home. I still think she only puts up with me to get closer to Spike though,” Dawn rambled to Buffy.


“Huh.” Buffy thought about it all. “Wait a minute, what do you mean he’s too stubborn?” she inquired curiously, remembering Dawn’s words.

Dawn smirked knowingly at Buffy’s question. “I think he likes you, but he won’t admit it because you’re human. Whenever I try to mention it, he cuts me off and threatens to tell mom something else I did and get me grounded. I told you he’s a prison warden - he never lets me go anywhere because he thinks ‘it’s not safe.’ Whatever.” Dawn rolled her eyes.


The last part snapped Buffy out of her thoughts, remembering Dawn and where they were. “Dawn, we should get you home. It’s late and they’ll be really worried. C’mon, I’ll walk with you,” Buffy got up as she spoke.


Dawn pouted and got up. “Fine. But will you try to visit more often? No one over there talks to me like you do.”


Buffy smiled sadly before adding, “Yea sure, Dawn. I’ll try.” ‘Is this what Dawn thinks of all of us? Have I really pushed her that far away?’


As they walked through the cemetery back to revello drive, Dawn excitedly told Buffy her stories, while Buffy felt her heart warm at the moment they were having, finally getting to genuinely laugh out loud for the first time since coming here.


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Joyce was pacing around the house, waiting for any sign of Dawn. She had already tried calling everyone, including Dawn’s friends. To her great relief, she saw Spike walking towards the house, but not alone.


Joyce didn’t really dislike Leanna, but she didn’t exactly like her too much either. Spike had started bringing her around sometime after the whole Dru thing. She knew to keep quiet about it, because it upset Spike whenever Dawn brought up Leanna. She has a sneaking suspicion that Spike started with Leanna to get over Dru, and had long gotten over it, but was too loyal to dump the girl. Besides, Joyce really perceived much more than that…


“Spike! Oh I’m so glad you’re back! Have you seen Dawn?” Joyce asked urgently.


“No, she didn’t come home?” he asked as anger crept into him. He regretted taking such a long time with Leanna to get home now.


“I’ll go and look-…” Spike was cut off as he turned around, seeing Buffy and Dawn walking towards the house together, laughing. His anger melted into relief, and his relief dissipated, when he caught a look of her. He hardly ever saw Buffy laugh, and couldn’t help starring at her face, as her eyes lit up and she smiled in laughter, her whole face radiating as she listened to some funny story Dawn was telling her. He quickly snapped out of it, giving Leanna a quick look, before storming toward Dawn and Buffy.


“What the hell do you think you two are doing?” Spike demanded. Buffy and Dawn had stopped talking, with both of them looking pissed off, for very different reasons.


“Dawn, get your ass inside NOW!” Spike yelled. Dawn glared at him and marched by him with her arms crossed.


Leanna stood back on the porch watching the display in the yard. As Dawn marched toward her, she bent down to level her head to Dawn’s. “Dawnie, you know there are very nasty things out there that want to hurt you. Little girls shouldn’t wander out at night like that,” Leanna said in a very patronizing voice that one would use towards a 5-year old and patted her on the head.


Dawn rolled her eyes and huffed at her, marching in to deal with her mom’s wrath instead. Leanna smirked as Dawn marched inside, but returned to the scene at hand, with her lips tight and her grey eyes flashing with anger.


“What did you do to Dawn? Where did you take her?” Spike asked with a calm but angry voice.


“I didn’t do ANYTHING to her,” Buffy returned with the same tight voice, “She came to the crypt on her own, and I walked her home because I knew someone would be worried.”


“You don’t know how to worry about others, you just worry about yourself! Everything is somehow always about you!” Spike yelled back – he knew he was being a bit over the top, but anger is the strongest emotion to cover up other ones.


“Really!? Everything is about me, huh? You’re the one that kissed me when you had the girlfriend – how selfish is that?! The way I see it, everything revolves around you in this little Spike bubble, where you think you can boss everyone around and USE me whenever you want!” Buffy was livid as she ranted at Spike, until something clicked in her head at the sound of her words. ‘…do I do that? Do I have a Buffy bubble?’ Her angry expression was replaced by a panicked one, which in turn thoroughly confused Spike, throwing him off guard.


He had many things he wanted to yell at her, but something stopped him from doing it – guilt. He felt guilty that he HAD kissed her back, even if she had initiated it. Moreover, he felt guilty at NOT feeling that guilty for going behind Leanna’s back while she was gone. ‘Oh shit, Leanna!’ Spike suddenly remembered she was behind them, watching the whole thing. He swung around, seeing Leanna was furiously quiet, standing on the porch with her arms crossed across her chest, grey eyes glaring at them and waiting for Spike’s next words.


He sent her an apologetic look as Leanna’s expression remained the same. Turning back to Buffy to respond to her outburst and accusation, he was cut off-

“Don’t. I think you’re better off saving it for HER.” With a satisfied but furious look, Buffy turned on her heels and marched away.


Spike closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He was going to have to turn around and confront Leanna sometime soon now…

She slowly walked up to him, with her blonde wavy hair blowing back a bit, making her eyes appear ever the more angry. “You kissed her?” she cried indignantly.


“Yea, I did, but look Leanna, it was a m-,” Spike tried to finish.

“Oh save it Spike! How could you? She is an evil soulless human!! And I look way better than her!” Leanna exclaimed, really more concerned that her beauty was being challenged.


“Who do you want?” Leanna asked, calming from her outrage.


“You. I want you,” Spike claimed. As a sly smile crossed Leanna’s face, she jumped on Spike with fervor, bringing her arms around his neck as she kissed him lustily. Spike was relieved to have the situation go away so easily, but in the back of his mind, he added to the pile of guilty secrets, the lie he just told her.


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Recap of chapter 4 and 5: Buffy comes across human Harmony (Vampires are humans, humans are vampires, excluding Buffy and Spike). She visits the Revello home, where Dawn and Joyce live with Spike, and sees them all vamp out. She researches at the Magic Box on how to go back but to no avail and a brick flies through the window. It’s the humans attacking, with Rack leading them. Willow is wounded with an arrow and he kidnaps her to the cemetery, where he expects Spike to show up. All head to fight, and there is a brief showdown between Spike and Rack. As Spike is down, Rack is about to kill Willow, when a female vampire swoops in and kills Rack. Her name is Leanna and apparently, she’s Spike’s girlfriend. Buffy seethes. Leanna pokes fun. Buffy storms away to her crypt, to have Dawn visit her. Both speak of Leanna and Spike, where Buffy denies all. She walks Dawn home, to find pissed off Spike. Buffy lets out about the kiss and walks away. Leanna is pissed, leading to guilty Spike lie

“You’re an evil soulless human,” Leanna said as she smirked, “not a very pretty one for that matter…” She vamped out and walked towards Buffy menacingly. “Spike isn’t going to stop me this time. No one will even notice you’re gone, now that I’m back!” She began to laugh as her now flashing yellow eyes bored into Buffy. Leanna crept closer with each slow step, backing her into a wall. Buffy had nowhere to go. She was stuck, and Leanna was coming toward her ready to strike.


And then Buffy woke up. Jolting upright with a gasp, she panted as the anger bubbled inside her mind. ‘That bitch worked her way into my dreams!’ Buffy was outraged that she couldn’t get a moment’s peace. ‘I have got to find a way out of here!!!!’ Buffy cried to herself desperately. She burrowed her face into her hands, wishing that she could find the answers she was looking for. Finally pulling it together, she got dressed and headed out to the Magic Box. She only hoped Spike wasn’t there.


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“Hi Spike!” Anya chirped as he came in the door. She had already made lots of money today, sending her into a permanent good mood. But Spike didn’t look as happy as Anya.


“Hey,” Spike said, as he exhaled deeply. He looked troubled, and it didn’t go unnoticed. They stood there a second all exchanging a curious glance. While still not really looking at them, he asked, “How’s Red doing? Did she call Glinda?”


Willow came out of the back room, with a visible bandage wrapped around her arm where the arrow had pierced through. “I’m fine, Spike. And yea, I called Tara already. She said she’ll be back as soon as she can today,” she replied. She saw that he didn’t really react much, but rather was starring off into space, looking like something was on his mind. “What about you? Are YOU ok? …Spike?” Willow asked hesitantly.


“Huh? Oh yea, I’m fine. Right as rain. Just tired is all…”


“Okkkkk, you get into another fight with Leanna or something?” Xander asked inquiringly.


Spike snapped out of it to look up at Xander’s question. “No!… I mean yea…but we’re ok now. I told you, I’m just tired, alright!?,” Spike finished with anger and irritation.


“Alright, alright,” Xander put his hands up and backed off, “I would be in a bad mood too if I had to listen to her whining at me all the time.”


Spike didn’t even respond. Giles decided to change the subject so he cleared his throat. “I wanted to bring something up with you guys to see what you all think. I’ve been doing some thinking for the past few days, and I wanted to know if you thought something is a little off with…Buffy’s amnesia?” Giles inquired. Spike tried not to appear bothered by the sudden mention of that name.


Xander spoke up, “Yea, I DID notice something funny. She remembers all of us, but not Leanna. Those two are always scratching each other’s eyes out! Wouldn’t you think she’d remember someone she hates that much?”


“I agree. I don’t think she’s telling the whole truth. Do you think she’s faking it, Giles?” Willow asked.


“No. She went all crazy on me the first day and didn’t make ANY sense,” Spike continued with confidence, “there’s no way she’s that good of an actress.” He tried not to think of their short embrace on the porch.


“I think Spike’s right. She seemed genuinely clueless about many things,” added Anya.


Before they could continue the conversation, Buffy stepped into the Magic Box. Five faces shot up to look at her, and she stopped in her tracks as they all gave her an odd look.


“Speak of the devil. Your timing is impeccable, Buffy,” Xander jibed.


‘Damn it, Spike is here. Ok avert eyes, ignore stupid vampire.’ She walked into the shop as she asked, “What are you talking about? Why are you all looking at me funny??”


“We’re talking about how you’re clueless,” Xander said matter-of-factly.


“Hey! I’m not clueless!” Buffy was offended.


“Buffy, do you remember anything else that could help us find out more about your amnesia situation?” Giles inquired.


“Oh is that what you were talking about? Well, I dunno. I think I might have hit my head really hard?” Buffy offered hesitantly, knowing it sounded dumb.


“Again?” Xander added sarcastically, “Do we need to make a special Buffy helmet for you?”


Buffy never realized how annoying Xander could be. The comments were funnier when they weren’t about her. She rolled her eyes and ignored him.


“Buffy, you’re not telling us something. That part we know for sure, so either you come out with the truth, or you can find help elsewhere,” Giles said sternly. They all faced her with a look that showed they were waiting for some answers – even Spike had finally looked up to glare at her inquiringly.


It was ridiculous. They wouldn’t believe the truth, but they weren’t believing her lie. She didn’t know what to say. So she just told them.


“Sigh…ok well don’t say I didn’t warn you…you guys won’t believe me, but you asked for it. This world isn’t real. I’M from the real world, where humans are good – I am good! – and vampires are evil. All of you guys aren’t vampires, except for Spike. You guys are MY friends, and everything is actually the reverse. I’m a slayer and I kill evil soulless vampires. There.” Buffy finished hastily.


Disbelieving faces starred at her in silence. “PUHAHAHAHA,” Xander burst out into hysterics, followed by everyone else. They clutched their stomachs and howled over in laughter at her ridiculous explanation.


“That’s-,” Xander gasped for air, “that’s-, the funniest thing I have heard in my life!!!!”


“That is so bloody ridiculous! Have you gone completely MAD!?” Spike exclaimed, all the while still laughing along with the gang.


Buffy knew it was coming, but nevertheless, she was now thoroughly pissed off because of Spike’s comment. With her arms crossed and her jaw tight, she said, “I TOLD you that you wouldn’t believe me! I-,” she was cut off as someone came in the door behind her.


“Tara!” Willow exclaimed as she ran to meet her girlfriend in a hug.


“Willow! Are you ok!?” concern was written all over Tara’s face, as she looked at Willow’s bandage and eyed her for other damages.


“I’m ok, don’t worry sweetie,” Willow said with affection as she gave her another hug, “I’m just glad you’re here now…”


“I’m sorry Willow – I know I was supposed to come back earlier, and I tried, but…but…weird things kept happening. And then I got your call, and got back as soon as I could…” Tara looked over at the gang. “Hi Guys!”


Everyone said hi, and Tara noticed Buffy was here. A flicker of hesitation went across Tara’s expression, as her eyes landed on Buffy. She had the slightest little feeling that something was off, but she didn’t know what.


Willow noticed the look. “What’s the matter?” Willow said as she furrowed her brow and looked to Buffy and back again to Tara.


“I just…,” Tara cut herself off and addressed Buffy, “Buffy, are you…alright?”


“What do you mean?” Buffy said puzzled. Buffy’s anger from before had dissipated when she had seen Tara walk in the door. Even when Tara was worried, she still had a sort of calming effect on everyone around her.


“Oh don’t mind her, Tara. She’s gone insane. She thinks the world is reversed and that she’s like some superhero in real life,” Xander interjected, trying to hold back the laughter.


Buffy turned around and gave him a fierce glare. But Spike had seen she was beyond pissed, and felt sort of bad for her, with all of them ganging up on her. He remembered the utter confusion etched on her face that night she came to his porch, so he jumped to change the subject, at something that had caught his attention earlier, “Wait, what do you mean weird things kept happening?” Spike looked towards Tara with an upraised brow.


Everyone seemed to look up in thought, as they became curious and turned to wait for Tara’s answer.


“Wait, where did you even go?” Buffy asked.


“Well…see…I went to visit my friend, who had called me and…and asked if I could go and help her with thi-…this spell that she had done wrong. I thought she sounded really urgent and…and she’s one of my only good friends from back home, s-…so I went to help her even though I thought something was wrong.”


“Well, was something wrong?” Willow asked concerned at her serious tone.


“Well I got there, and she-…she said she didn’t call me,” Tara finished.


Everyone looked alarmed and confused. “What? Who called you?” Spike spoke up with a puzzled expression.


“I…I don’t know,” Tara sighed. “After that, I tried to come back when I planned, but…”


“What?” said Buffy, anxiously curious.


“Well first, she…she kept begging me to stay and spend more time with her…she didn’t seem herself…and then my flight was cancelled. And all of a sudden they…they didn’t have another flight at all. The whole time, it was like…like something didn’t want me to leave…” Tara paused before looking at Willow, “But then you called and I just had to get back, so I took a bunch of buses instead…It could be all bad luck, but I had a bad feeling the whole time I was there and I still don’t know who called me…”


“That IS quite odd. But you seem to be alright, and you didn’t run into any physical danger I presume?” Giles added.


“Yea…I just think it’s strange…” Tara trailed off.


“What’s strange?” Leanna had suddenly sauntered into the Magic Box, wearing a leathery red outfit that was way too tight, and reminded Buffy of a hooker. She walked up to Spike with a sly smile and draped her arms on his, leaning into him. Spike tensed, suddenly uncomfortably with her public displays, especially after what had happened. Leanna became angry, when she realized why he had not responded the way he usually did. Spike was glancing over at Buffy, who was glaring at them in obvious hate and revulsion.


Leanna turned to Buffy. “Why the hell are you showing your face here again?” Leanna said in a dead cold voice. The gang felt the room turn icy, as the exchange seemed more malicious than usual. Everyone was eyeing them, waiting for the next move. “Why haven’t you made her leave?” she said as she looked at Spike while still draped on his shoulder.


“Leanna…” Spike began, frustrated that he was back to defending himself.


“YOU TOLD ME YOU WANT ME!” Leanna burst out in anger. The whole room seemed to jump back at her outrage, except Buffy, who stood there with an angry look. She was trying not to show that she was EXTREMELY uncomfortable, and was trying not to appear like she was avoiding looking at Spike, which she definitely was.


“LEANNA! Calm the bloody hell down! I do want you, you bint!” Spike hardly ever became that angry with her, which caused Leanna’s eyes to widen.


“Wait, rewind. Did we miss something here?” Xander asked, daring to tread into the battlefield.


Leanna looked at Xander briefly before turning back to Spike. “Why don’t you ask SPIKE what happened?” she finished before whirling around to glare at Buffy too.


Buffy was angry, but her angry expression had turned into panic and discomfort when she realized what they were about to find out. Her eyes shot up to Spike’s, questioning him silently with what he was going to say, but knowing that if he didn’t tell them, Leanna would anyway.


“What? Suddenly you have nothing to say?! Tell them that you kissed her!! Go ahead!!” Leanna ended with her arms crossed and eyebrows raised in angry impatience for Spike to speak up. He had made a fool out of her, and she wasn’t going to let them him get off that easily.


“Whoaaaa, you kissed HER!?” Xander asked incredulously as he pointed at Buffy. “Have you totally lost it too? She’s a HUMAN. I thought you were over that with Drusilla?? At least Drusilla had a SOUL, even if she was crazier than Buffy is now!”


“STOP SAYING I DON’T HAVE A SOUL!!” Buffy cried furiously. She had heard that way too many times within the past few days. She was sick of playing along with this world – she knew she had a soul, damnit. ‘Wait a minute, Dru had a soul!?’ Her eyes widened in confusion. “What are you talking about Drusilla had a soul???”


Everyone ignored her. They were all waiting for Spike to answer Xander, and wondering how Spike could let this happen, or why. “You guys kissed?” Anya urgently got back to the matter at hand. “Did it lead to hot sex? Have you been hiding it from us all this time?”


“What!? NO! Look, it was a mistake, alright!? She kissed me and caught me off guard! And this has nothing to do with Dru! It was a mistake, and it meant NOTHING,” Spike defended. He didn’t want to look at Buffy in the eyes, but couldn’t help glancing to see her reaction.


Buffy’s chin began to tremble from anger. She was seeing red – they had not only ignored her and deemed her soulless evil, but also regarded her like some thing with no feelings. Most of all, Spike’s words cut her deep, and she was angry, hurt, and confused at why she had come to feel ‘these things’ she hadn’t felt before.


She couldn’t let them see her break her resolve. Tilting up her chin a bit and glaring at Leanna and Spike, she told the gang, “Spike’s right. It really meant nothing at all.” She turned around, and calmly, but still furious, walked out of the Magic Box, waiting until she was out the door to let her hurt expression take over.

------

“I think you hurt her feelings…” Tara said hesitantly. Tara didn’t know what had happened these past few days, but something wasn’t right about Buffy…


“Oh who cares!? At least she’s finally gone!” Leanna rolled her eyes.


Tara opened her mouth, but closed it again. She didn’t want to argue, because frankly, she would lose at it, but she found herself constantly disliking Leanna’s negative attitude. She knew that Leanna treated her like she didn’t even exist, and even though she didn’t tell the rest of them, she rooted for Buffy in most of the quarrels with Leanna.


Giles finally spoke up, after remaining silent in thought through the whole exchange, “Spike, I think you need to be more careful. You know how dangerous it can be to let Buffy get that close to you. She’s a human, and she can’t deny her nature to want to kill us. I know she looks just like one of us, but she’s evil. You know that.”


“Yea,” Spike sighed in frustration as he ran his hands back through his hair, “I know…” But Spike didn’t know anymore. Buffy didn’t pose him any physically danger, but emotionally, she would be the death of him.



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“I thought you were going to keep the witch away longer?” the male voice asked.


“I tried! You know I have to follow the rules though! I can only cause what the vampire wished… ” cried the female in frustration. She calmed down and held her hand to her temple. “It’s ok. I don’t think the witch can fully sense what is wrong. The slayer is vulnerable again, so we’re right on track. I WILL get the job done. They won’t be disappointed.”


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She had gone to the cemetery, really not knowing where else to go. Before, she had gone to the Magic Box to try and find a way to get out of here, but she couldn’t go back there now – she couldn’t even go to her own house because it belonged to Spike now. Walking through the cemetery slowly with her head down, she thought of all the things that had happened with Spike. ‘I don’t know why I care at all…I shouldn’t care…He’s just Spike…this place must be messing with me’ she thought in frustration. Another part of her didn’t believe any of that, but wasn’t willing to ever admit it.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t hear anyone approach her. She froze as she felt a presence, and turned around ready to strike. It was Spike.


He caught her fist, as he watched Buffy take time to relax briefly, before turning angry once again. “Let go of me,” Buffy said with gritted teeth. “What the hell do you want now?”


He held her fist, forcing her hand to her side, and letting his fingers graze down her hand as she relaxed, pulling away reluctantly. “Look, I didn’t come here to argue with you,” Spike said with sincerity.


“And you came here to…?” Buffy asked irritated, crossing her arms so she didn’t have to think about the electricity that had coursed through her with just the brush of his fingers.


“I came here to apologize,” Spike had regret written in his eyes, something he had hid well from the others.


Surprised and speechless, Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but didn’t know how to reply.


“I’m sorry,” Spike sighed, knowing ahead of time that this wasn’t going to be easy, “I didn’t mean to have everyone gang up on you like that…I just…” he paused not knowing how he should continue, “it WAS a mistake, and it can never happen again, but I didn’t mean to…sigh…I guess I just want to say thank you for helping me yesterday, and bringing Dawn home.” He opted for the easy way out, not knowing what or how he should’ve finished that sentence.


All the while, Buffy was staring at him uncomfortably, at the apologetic words he was sending her way. Back home, she had always taken sensitive-Spike for granted, punching him when he professed his love for her. Here, things were different, and now his words just made her shiver in emotion. When he finished his sentence by thanking her, her disappointment was shown in obvious annoyance at his weak change of subject.


“Forget about it. It wasn’t about you anyway – it was about Willow, and Dawn. Thanks for the apology, you can go back to feeling good about yourself now,” Buffy continued, resulting to sarcasm to mask her disappointment.


“Buffy, that’s not what I meant...,” Spike yelled out in frustration as Buffy looked at him with an upraised brow. “Listen, can we just call a truce? I’m sorry,” he finished with a whisper as he moved closer to her to show his sincerity.


She felt her heart skip a beat as she felt his breath lightly brush her face, and quickly darted her eyes downward, as she wasn’t willing to see what emotion he held in his gaze. Her voice was caught in her throat, but she managed to get out, “Ok…a truce,” before both of them backed away from each other, uncomfortably fidgeting.


Buffy looked anywhere but him, until a thought crossed her mind that had been bothering her before. It was a perfect time to ask. “Spike?” Buffy asked, forcing him to look at her.


“Yea?” Spike asked, hoping they wouldn’t have to re-visit that awkward moment.


“Can…can you tell me about Drusilla? And her soul?” Buffy asked with curiosity.


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A/N: I got a Livejournal, so you can check there for how my updates are coming along…The site’s not very high tech right now :( but I’ll figure it out later. Now I just need some friends please! www.livejournal.com/users/spuffyangst

“Tell you about Dru?” Spike had an uneasy look on his face. He tried to turn her away from the subject, without getting into a fight with her, “….I’m not sure that’s a good idea, pet…plus you usually yell at me to not mention her anyway…”


Buffy knew Drusilla was a sore subject, but she HAD to know how it came that Queen of the Darkness had a soul. “I-, I really want to know, Spike. How am I supposed to remember anything if no one TELLS me anything?”


Annoyed that she had not backed off, he was starting to feel the defensiveness creep back into him. “Forget it – I don’t want to talk about it,” Spike had already put on his determined jerk-mode face. He was casually leaning back against a tombstone, lighting a cigarette, trying to appear strong on the issue.


“Why are you being such a doofus? I thought we had a truce?” Buffy starred at him with annoyance, and a slight bit of disappointment that their truce hardly lasted a few minutes. But Spike remained in his position, only slightly flickering his expression at the reminder of the truce he had offered earlier.


“You know what, fine. I’ll just go find out my information elsewhere. Maybe Leanna is up for some company – I think I’ll just drop by to catch up on old times…” Buffy had turned her back and begun to walk away, throwing in the bit about Leanna in the spur of the moment.


“Whoa! Hold on now!” Spike ran around to block her from stepping further. A thought came to his mind. “Wait a minute, you don’t even know where she lives,” Spike visibly relaxed at that, with a smug smile on his face.


“I’ll just follow the vapid ho smell and voila! Skanks R’ US!” Buffy said with cheerful contempt.


“I actually think you are getting more and more jealous of her…?” Spike raised an inquiring eyebrow.


“WHAT!? Of that ho? You have GOT to be kidding me! There is no jealousy period. I’m jealous-free Buffy!” She finished with an indignant raise of her chin.


“Uh-huh,” Spike, “I believe you as much as I believe that’s your natural hair color.”


“HA! Peroxide Boy is talking to me about natural hair color??” Buffy cried out mockingly. Spike had seemed to forget he bleached his hair more than people did white shirts. His caught look was priceless.


“At least my hair looks way better than yours does! The girls dig the bad boy look – it’s a bloody fact!” Spike finished.


“You mean the Billy Idol look?” Buffy raised an inquiring brow, “You REALLY need to get an update on the present day. Don’t you know you’re so outdated? I’m way hip-per than you are. Ask Dawn.”


“Dawn still wears pink colored pjs – what does she know?” Spike retorted jokingly.


“What’s wrong with pink?” Buffy said in an offended mock tone. She couldn’t help but begin to smile, because she was actually enjoying their banter. And that’s why she froze. Buffy realized she was having friendly banter with Spike. It wasn’t normal. The contempt that was supposed to be there was missing, and all she found was a very confused Buffy. She furrowed her brows at this thought, as the uncomfortable feeling from before crept back into her body.


Spike was confused at her reaction, as he saw her waver in some sort of doubt, but about what?


“I should go,” Buffy resolved, starting to back away hesitantly.


“What is it, luv?” Spike asked.


“Don’t call me that!” Buffy added quickly, his nicknames adding to her confusion.


Spike was about to ask ‘what’ but then he realized what he called her – he didn’t even consciously mean to call her ‘luv’ – it just came naturally, and suddenly, that thought scared him in return. When had he begun letting himself call her that? He didn’t even know.


“Oh…right. Sorry, wrong blonde,” Spike replied gruffly.


After realizing he meant Leanna, Buffy glared at him. “Why are you with her anyway?? I mean, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but she’s worse than Harmony!”


“Harmony? Who the bloody hell is that?” Spike asked, annoyed.


‘He doesn’t know who she is?’ Buffy secretly felt an inner sense of relief that Spike had not gone out with Harmony AND Leanna – one was more than pushing it.


“Is that the ditzy human chit who keeps threatening me with her minions?” Spike inquired with a roll of his eyes.


“Oh…um…yea nevermind,” Buffy replied lamely, knowing that her explanation for bringing Harmony up would get her another laugh in the face.


Spike sighed frustrating breath and shoved his hands in his pockets. After a long moment, Spike broke the silence in a calm voice, “If I tell you about Dru, will you stop being such a crazy bint?”


Normally, she would have retorted with some angry comment, but curiosity held her back. She didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reply, but simply gave him a look that showed she agreed.


“Alright…where do I start…,” Spike sighed, scratching the back of his head.


“How about how she got her soul?” Buffy offered quietly.


“Well, when I found her, she already had her soul…I found her in the woods one day when I was walking by and heard some noise. I followed it until I found her there, on the ground, looking like a mess. She looked completely delirious, with bloody cuts all over her…so I carried her back to get help…” Spike raised his gaze away from the ground briefly and saw that she was just waiting for him to continue.


“It was Tara who told us Dru had a soul – she said she could see it burning inside her. We didn’t know how to react because we never heard of anything like it….”


“Why didn’t Drusilla tell you she had a soul?” Buffy asked.


“When I brought her back, she wouldn’t break deliria for a good week. After she came out of it, it took us a while to get the story out of her…” Spike let out a big breath before continuing, “Dru told us she had been cursed. Apparently, before her soul, she killed an entire vamp family, except for one girl who had watched her kill them all. The girl, who we assume was a witch of some sort, cursed Dru with a soul for eternity…” Spike drifted off.


Buffy’s eyes were wide. Not because the story was shocking and horrible, but because it resembled the story of Angel’s soul – the gypsy curse. She hadn’t expected it, though she should of, knowing the rules of this world. “Did…was there a way for her to lose the soul?” Buffy managed to stammer, thinking about how Angel turned into Angelus.


“No…not with consequences…she was stuck with it…and it drove her insane in the end…” Spike continued with his eyes averted.


“What do you mean not with consequences?” Buffy asked, puzzled. And a thought came to her. “Why didn’t you turn her if you loved her?”


Spike’s eyes darted up to Buffy’s, knowing that what he already revealed wasn’t going to be enough to satisfy her curiosity. He hesitated, before continuing, “I loved her. I was naïve, and she was so fragile and she had a soul…She became the only thing I wanted to protect, and I was her prince…” Spike’s expression became unattached, as if he was reliving the memories, “I thought about trying to turn her, more than once…but the others looked into it, and said that the soul would ruin everything…if I turned her, she would lose the soul…”


“Why did she leave then? I remember Giles said something about how she left for your own good…” Buffy knew she was starting to bombard him with questions, but she couldn’t help it, things weren’t piecing together…


“As the year went on, she was getting worse and worse. Soon, she just sputtered nonsense about tea parties and dolls. I loved her anyway, because I was the only one she let into her world…but soon, she started having bad streaks…throwing violent fits…” Spike looked into Buffy’s eyes, as if testing whether or not he really wanted to continue.


Buffy just looked at him in a quiet gaze, with a bit of sympathy in her eyes. She really should care less about Drusilla and Spike’s little twisted love story, but couldn’t help the part of her that knew what it was like to have a love shattered by violence.


It was in her quiet and understanding demeanor that made Spike begin again with his voice deep and serious, “They don’t know what really happened. I couldn’t tell them. All they know is that the soul was driving her crazier than she already was, and…one day while she was having a fit, she got violent…,” Spike’s voice was pained, “I told them that she felt immense guilt after she snapped out of it and wanted to leave for my own good…”


“But that didn’t really happen?” Buffy asked with a furrowed brow.


“Part of it…she did try to attack me one day in a bad episode…but I lied to them. I lied to them because she didn’t leave out of guilt. After the attack, she never came out of her rant...she was completely gone by then…I couldn’t save her anymore…She…” Spike paused, “…she killed a child before I could stop her…and I panicked. I knew there was no way I could excuse what she did, but I still loved her, and I didn’t have the courage to kill her myself, so I let her go…”


She wanted to ask if it was a vampire child or a human one, but knew that it didn’t really matter – not here at least. Dawn was a vampire here, and Buffy understood that either answer wouldn’t make the crime less severe. A part of her condemned Spike for letting Drusilla get away, when she herself had sent Angel to hell, but she couldn’t help the pang of sympathy she felt for him – she knew how it was like to keep a secret, like how she had escaped to L.A. to avoid dealing with everything. She also understood that he had just confided in her something he had never told anyone.


Buffy stepped closer to him, and put her hand on his arm lightly. Spike looked up surprised at her gentle touch and un-angered eyes. Buffy said simply, “I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” And her eyes conveyed the truth behind her promise, something that sent an inner flip of Spike’s stomach.


He took a moment, and relished the feel of her hand so gently on his arm. Everything about the two of them always screamed anger and hate – this was something new, something a lot scarier than lust he couldn’t control.


Spike had concluded from past experiences that there was no reason to trust Buffy, but her actions had constantly proved otherwise. Throwing all of those thoughts out of debate, he saw the sincerity in her eyes, and finally replied, “I believe you.”


Neither of them had sensed a third presence around them. They were too caught up in the moment to see glittering grey eyes watching them from afar, hearing every single word both of them had said.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spike broke the intense moment and tried to sound casual, flipping the atmosphere of the serious Dru story, “Anyway, I should get going. I’m meeting up the gang at the Bronze tonight.”


“Oh, you guys are going to the Bronze?” Buffy’s voice slightly wavered with a hint of desperation. Being reminded that everyone was Spike’s friend instead of HERS distressed her still. Plus, it actually sounded like fun – she needed a break.


Spike suddenly felt like he should invite her to come along, though he would have never given her a rat’s ass a couple days ago. They DID call a truce, and he felt an odd nagging emotion that told him he actually wanted her to be there. “Why…Why don’t you come?” Spike hesitated.


Buffy was happy that her desperate signal got through to him, but a thought crossed her mind. ‘If everything is reverse, do vamps go to the Bronze or humans?’ She couldn’t go to the Bronze with a bunch of vamps and her stupid chip…could she? “Won’t the vampires think I’m evil and get all fang-y on me?” Buffy said quizzically.


Spike chuckled at the stupid little words she always came up with. Leave it to Buffy to ruin the English language. “No, they know who you are, and know you’re harmless. You’ve been there before, you know.”


“I’m not harmless!! I’m just…chipped! I can be dangerous in other ways! I…” Buffy realized she was working against herself here.


Spike raised his eyebrows waiting for her to finish her sentence and reveal her ‘dangerous’ tactics.


“…Ok fine!…I’m harmless! Are you happy!?” Buffy yelled exasperated, ending with her arms crossed and a pout on her lip. ‘I hate being harmless! This sucks.’


The lip did not go unnoticed to Spike. He quickly darted his eyes away, and tried to put on his annoyed voice, “Are you coming or not?” But he made sure it was in an annoyed tone that showed he was just pushing her buttons.


Buffy reluctantly snapped out of her pouting and was about to agree when she realized she was wearing a sweater and long black skirt. She wanted to be more ‘Bronze-appropriate’ a.k.a. wear something hotter. “Yea…maybe later. I have to go back to my hou-, my crypt first.”


“Alright then,” Spike replied, before giving her a last look and turning away, heading for the Bronze.


--------------------------------------------------------------------


Buffy was walking back to her crypt, nervously thinking about whether she should go to the Bronze or not. She would be in a room full of vampires that thought she was their worst enemy, and Spike was right – she was totally harmless. Not able to hit any vampire…


‘I would give up all my clothes if I could use Leanna’s face for a punching bag!’ Buffy suddenly thought with contempt. Leanna was annoying - and worst, annoyingly gorgeous. Buffy felt really plain around her, and she wasn’t about to show up to the Bronze with some school-marm outfit. She could play “Who’s-the-Hooch?” too.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------


*********The Bronze**********


As the band finished up the fast-paced rock song and started playing some dark and mellow music, the vampires swarmed slowly off the dance floor to get drinks while only a few couples remained embraced in a slow dance.


“So when’s Spike and Leanna getting here?” Willow asked the rest of the gang – Xander, Tara, and Anya.


“Well, I think Spike should be here soon, which means Leanna will come promptly attached to his ass,” Xander answered cynically.


Tara smirked at that, but quickly wiped away her expression when Willow looked at her. “Oh c’mon guys…we’re supposed to be supportive scoobies…and…she’s not THAT bad…everyday,” Willow finished lamely. She agreed with the rest of them – Leanna was beyond irritation – the only reason she tried to keep her mouth shut was because of Spike’s tirade not too long ago when they had confronted him, where he angrily made them feel guilty for forgetting all the times she helped them out in a fight.


“Yea we know. She helped us in the big fight, big whoop. She’s like this leech! Stuck there, but never shutting up. When I can’t decide who to hate more – Buffy or Leanna – you know that’s just wrong,” Xander finished.


“What’s wrong?” Spike asked, as he approached the gang.


“Oh…uhh…nothing…,” Willow stammered quickly.


Fortunately for them, the ‘leech’ was making her way over to distract Spike.


“Your girlfriend’s here, joy.” Xander commented dryly, as Spike turned to look.


Leanna looked piercingly mischievous. She looked like she had some sort of agenda and Spike didn’t think it looked like just her usual overly flirty self. He really wasn’t in the mood to deal with more jealousy and accusations.


To his relief and surprise, all Leanna did was plant herself against Spike’s shoulder and pull herself closer against his body. “Ready to have fun?” Leanna whispered seductively in Spike’s ear, as the rest of the gang tried not to grimace.


“Bloody hell, are you gonna make me dance again?” Spike said with a defeated voice. Except this time, he really didn’t feel like doing anything with Leanna, not just the dancing.


“C’mon Spikeee…” Leanna whined as she lured him out to the dance floor – more like practically dragging him.


The slow music played seductively, as Leanna tried to press herself against Spike and rub her hips against his, knowing what always worked on him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and began to nibble at his ear playfully. But Spike was hardly paying attention to her ministrations, not like he usually did. Instead he was scanning the crowd, as if looking for someone. But couples began to wander out onto the dance floor, effectively blocking his view in all directions.


Tara had seen the wandering look on Spike’s face. He didn’t seem very interested at Leanna’s usual advances. Turning back to the table and the rest of her friends, she asked, “Do you guys know if Buffy is showing up tonight?”


Surprised at the random question, Xander replied with a roll of the eyes, “She’s always here as long as Spike is.”


“Oh honey, don’t be jealous. I’d much rather sleep with you than Spike,” Anya finished in patronizing comfort.


“What? I’m not jealous of Spike! I’m just saying that those two never quit,” Xander replied in his defense.


“Well, at least Buffy is less slutty than Leanna is,” Anya jumped in.


Xander’s eyes widened, his gaze directed past his friends, “Whoa…maybe you spoke too fast…”


Everyone at the table turned in the direction of Xander’s gaze. Buffy had just walked in the entrance, wearing a very short red halter dress that plunged down in between her breasts and ended slightly below her ass, leaving her tan legs in full view. Her exposed skin was shimmering and her hair fell softly against her shoulders, teasing her bare back. Lips glossy and looking ready to kill, her entrance had all the guys drooling over the sight.


“Wow. Buffy looks great tonight. She must be declaring war,” Anya commented to Tara, Willow and Xander.


“Uh…guys…I don’t think this is going to end very well,” Willow said nervously.


At that moment, the crowd had parted slightly for Spike, and who he saw at the entrance made his jaw drop. Buffy looked absolutely gorgeous – he was lucky Leanna’s head was resting on his shoulder and facing the other way, because that sight would infuriate her. Thinking quick, he knew he had to try and keep Leanna facing the other way, even if he had to dance with her the entire time.


Buffy felt multiple eyes on her, actually hoping that they were just leering and not looking hungry. She quickly made her way over to the gang, spotting them almost immediately.


“Um…hi guys,” Buffy uttered awkwardly, not knowing if they would appreciate her presence.


“Hi Buffy,” Tara said as she smiled warmly, forgetting she was suppose to act annoyed.


“Whoa, Buff, what’s the deal? Are you and Leanna battling it out for Sluttiest Blonde?” Xander asked.


“Hey! I’m blonde now too! And I think she looks very nice. Good job Buffy, I think you might win today,” Anya commented.


“Win? What do you mean?” Buffy said in a pretend innocent voice, but she couldn’t help smirking at Anya’s comment.


“Where’s Spike?” Buffy asked, trying very hard to sound casual, but knowing that everyone knew her purpose behind the question.


“Um…dancing…” Willow gave her a sort of sympathetic look, before gazing over at Spike and Leanna. Buffy’s eyes followed Willow’s, and her happy mood over her outfit choice quickly disseminated, replaced by a disappointed pout. Her eyes met Spike’s for a brief moment as their gazes seemed to freeze time, but trying to quickly mask her disappoint, she turned back to the gang with a non-chalant expression.


“Do you guys want something to drink? I’m gonna head over to the bar,” Buffy asked, trying to ignore the blonde couple and the way Leanna was moving against Spike.


“No, we’re good,” Willow commented with a smile, feeling bad for Buffy. She was supposed to hate her, but whenever Buffy was around, she easily slipped into the habit of thinking of Buffy as one of her friends.


Buffy walked towards the bar, trying to occupy her mind with the task of getting a drink, instead of thinking about what the heck she was doing here dressed in one of her most killer dresses, hoping Spike would notice her like some desperate little girl. Her insecurities began to flood back into her as she leaned against the bar, waiting for the bartender.


The bartender came to take her order. “Hey Slayer, what will it be? the usual?”


“Uhhh…sure…” Buffy replied hesitantly, not knowing what her ‘usual’ was.


A few minutes later he plopped down a strawberry looking drink with an umbrella in it. “oOoOo pretty,” Buffy replied happily as she sipped her drink.


“You sure are,” replied a voice, as a guy came up next to her with a flirtatious smile.


Buffy was about to become defensive and deem him a creep, but she changed her mind as she examined the guy. He was tall with a medium build, brown hair and a slightly pale complexion (he IS a vampire). He had a great smile, and actually didn’t seem like a creep at all. ‘Kinda cute’ Buffy thought, her mood a little cheered up.


“How are you doing today, Buffy? You look amazing by the way,” he finished with a warm smile.


“I’m doing ok…and thanks, …uh…thanks,…” Buffy squinted at him, trying to figure out his name and hoping for a little help.


He looked at her with a funny expression. “Mike. You know - the guy who asks you to dance every time you come here? Did you forget me already?” his voice showed a bit of sad disappointment that Buffy was pretending to not know him.


“I’m just kidding Mike!” Buffy laughed, hoping to play it off as a joke. “Of course I remember you!”


His disappointment quickly disappeared and turned into a smile. “Well how about a dance now?” Mike asked hopefully, as he offered his hand to her.


Buffy starred at his hand for a brief second, wondering if she wanted to dance with this guy who was basically a complete stranger to her. She didn’t know what to think, considering she was sure he was a vampire and he knew she was human, since he could hear her heartbeat and all. But he seemed genuinely very nice, and Buffy liked the attention. Smiling back, she took his hand as he led her to the dance floor.


Spike was scanning the crowd, hoping to catch where Buffy had gone. He kept Leanna turned away from the tables and bar at all times, hoping he could avoid an outburst for as long as possible. And then he saw them – his stomach clenched, and sudden jealousy coursed through his body.


Mike was a regular at the bronze, and started taking a liking to Buffy a while ago, even though he knew she was the Slayer and human. Mike was obviously smitten, and started asking Buffy to dance, since she often hung out at the bar alone, not really invited to join the rest of the gang. Spike never cared about the two of them before, glad that Mike kept Buffy away and out of Leanna’s proximity, but this time, it was different.


Spike had an overwhelming feeling – one where he felt like he wanted to go over there and tear Mike’s head off. As Mike’s hands came in contact with Buffy’s bare back, Spike had to keep himself under control from growling out loud. He was trying not to tense up too much, or Leanna might snap out of her advances and notice what was wrong.


Buffy was enjoying the dance. It was nice, but it wasn’t great. She rested her head on Mike’s shoulders, not wanting to hold his gaze. Exhaling, she scanned the crowd of couples and her eyes met with blue ones.


Their eyes locked with one another, as the rest of the room seemed to float away from their reality. Swaying to the slow music in different people’s arms, they could not look away from each other, secretly knowing that they wished to be in each other’s arms, but not admitting it out loud. Spike needed to look away, but he couldn’t – he was transfixed on Buffy. The sparks flew between their eyes, never breaking contact, and it was as if they WERE dancing with each other and no one else mattered.


Spike was snapped out of the trance with Buffy by Leanna.


“Spike, let’s go back to my place and have some real fun,” Leanna whispered seductively in his ear.


“Leanna…” Spike said in an exasperated tone, “We just got here.”


“Whaaaat, we’ve been here for a few minutes! They understand. They’re probably too busy talking about books or tv show characters – they won’t miss us…” Leanna tried to convince him. Before he could answer, she began pulling him towards the back entrance.


“Leanna…c’mon now pet…slow down…” Spike was trying to reason calmly, as she pulled him past Buffy and Mike, past the gang, out of the Bronze into the alley. She began kissing him fervidly as he struggled to maintain control of the situation.


“Leanna! Will you bloody stop!?!” Spike roared, pushing her off of him.


She was struck with shock, eyes wide, starring at him for a second. “WHAAAAT!?!!? DID YOU JUST PUSH ME OFF OF YOU???” Leanna screamed furiously, flailing her arms as her grey eyes penetrated Spike’s.


Spike took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to avoid outbursts tonight after all. “Calm down, Leanna. I just didn’t feel like leaving yet.”


“You have NEVER pushed me off of you. I seem to remember plenty of times where we ditched out on the Bronze to go have some fun. You weren’t struggling then! What the hell is going on?” Leanna was still seething, but at a less high-pitched nature.


“Nothing, I just…” Spike ran his hands through his hair, his mind sifting through what he was trying to say. And he realized what he had to do. Looking back up to meet her impatiently waiting gaze, he said, “I think we should take a break.”

“I think we should take a break.”

Leanna’s eyes widened in fury. Spike braced himself, ready for the yelling he expected next.


But all that came was a fist flying towards his face, crashing HARD into his nose, sending him to the floor of the alley in pain.

As Spike lay on the floor, hands to his face, Leanna turned and stormed out of the alley.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Back inside the Bronze, Buffy was still dancing with Mike, but with a troubled look on her face. It was all too obvious where Spike and Leanna had gone, or rather WHAT they had gone to do, and the thought made her sick to the stomach. Luckily, the slow songs had ended, so she pulled away from him, and offered a grateful smile, “Thanks Mike. I really enjoyed the dance.” As she was pulling away, he gently grabbed her hand.


“Do you think you would want to go out sometime? I know I ask you every time, but you can’t blame a guy for trying,” Mike said as he looked at her with a hopeful gaze.


Buffy didn’t respond immediately, not really knowing what to do, considering she didn’t even know this guy but was supposed to. “Mike...I…don’t think that’s a good idea…I’m sorry…” Buffy said with an apologetic expression.


His disappointment was obvious, but he quickly rebounded and asked, “Well will you save me a dance next time, as usual?”


Buffy smiled timidly, “Sure.” With that, she turned and walked back to the table where the gang was sitting. Feeling down, Buffy plopped herself down on a chair at the table, not caring if she was invited or not.


“Mike is totally smitten with you. Why don’t you go out with him already?” Willow asked Buffy after watching the little display.


Buffy looked up. “Honestly? I don’t even remember him at all,” Buffy said with a despairing tone, feeling bad that this guy obviously had been trying for so long.


“Ah yes, I’m sure all you remembered was Spike,” Xander said cynically, as the band suddenly switched to a new song.


But before Buffy could reply, Willow interrupted, “Let’s go dance guys! I love this song!”


Xander, Anya, and Willow got up to go dance, but Tara and Buffy were still sitting. “Aren’t you coming with us, Tara?” Willow asked with a pout.


“No…I think I’ll sit this one out,” Tara gave her girlfriend an apologetic look, “but I promise I’ll come join you guys for the next song.”


“Ok,” Willow said with a satisfied smile.


Leaving Buffy and Tara at the table alone, the three of them went out to dance.


Tara turned to look at Buffy. She had purposely not gone out to dance with the rest of them, because she wanted to get a chance to talk to her. “Buffy…are…are you ok?”


Buffy broke out of her momentary daze, and looked up at Tara. “What do you mean?” Buffy asked cautiously.


“Well…I noticed there was something off...when I first came back. But you ran out before I had a chance to ask you about it…” Tara said in her caring demeanor.


She wanted to tell Tara everything, but knew she still wouldn’t understand, even if Tara was usually very understanding and insightful. “Oh…um it was probably just Leanna, you know? She makes me want to beat her to death with my shoe,” Buffy said in an exasperated but slightly comedic tone.


Tara smiled. “Yea, sometimes Leanna has that effect,” she paused for a second, “You really love him don’t you? Spike, I mean…” She asked with a knowing glance.


“What!? NO! I don’t love him – no love!” Buffy said frantically, wanting to make sure Tara knew what a ridiculous idea that was. Buffy sighed, “I just…I really REALLY hate Leanna. That’s all. Honest.”


“Uh…huh…,” Tara replied with a smirk on her face, unconvinced.


“I mean what does he see in her anyway??” Buffy suddenly went off ranting.


Tara looked at her sympathetically and put her hand on Buffy’s in a comforting gesture. “I think Spike was really just getting over Drusilla…but don’t tell him I said that...”


Buffy’s thoughts flashed back to the story Spike had told her earlier. And something clicked in her head. Tara and Drusilla’s soul. Tara had been the one who sensed Drusilla’s soul!


“Tara, I need to ask you something. When Drusilla came along, how did you sense her soul? How did you know?” Buffy asked urgently.


Tara was a bit taken aback by the sudden change in subject. “I…um…why do you want to know?”


“I’m just really curious,” Buffy tried to appear less pushy, so Tara would continue.


“Well…Spike brought her to us, and she seemed di-…different from most humans…it was like I could see something radiating out of her essence…I don’t really know how to explain it…” Tara finished hesitantly.


Buffy’s head was reeling. “So you mean you can see my soul too?” Buffy said urgently. If Tara could sense people’s souls, that’s what she must be sensing about Buffy that’s different. Tara could help convince the Scoobies that really she wasn’t evil!


Tara had a perplexed look on her face. She hesitated before replying slowly, “Buffy, you don’t have a soul…”


“No, I really do! I know it sounds ridiculous, but that’s what you’re sensing about me that’s different!” Buffy explained rapidly. “Tara you have to believe me! Look closer, please,” Buffy pleaded with her.


Tara looked closely at Buffy for a long moment, before speaking up, “Buffy, I want to believe you, I do. But if you had a soul, I would have seen it. And you don’t.”


Buffy eyes filled with fear. It couldn’t be true. “No, you’re wrong,” Buffy said in a trembling voice. She knew what she was, how she felt. There was no way she could not have a soul and feel the things she feels – guilt, unselfish love for her mom and Dawn, everything a soul came with.


Tara tried to reach out for her hand to comfort her, “Buffy…” But Buffy pulled away from the table, knocking down the stool she was sitting on. Her strong façade was over – the tears started to cloud her vision as she turned to leave. She saw that Mike was by the front entrance, so she turned and headed for the back door.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------


“Perfect,” the female smiled evilly. “I knew that witch was good for something. Perhaps it wasn’t too bad that she came back after all…”


“But do you think you’re dragging this on too long?” asked the male.


“No. I didn’t come back in time so I can fuck it up. They wanted her dead, they will have her dead. But I’m going to enjoy it…,” the female finished, as she smirked once again.


------------------------------------------------------------------------


Buffy rushed out into the alley, with two tears running down each cheek. Her last hope – Tara – had been shattered. She hadn’t found one single clue how to get out of this place.


Then she heard a noise in the alley. Alerting to her sense, she looked around, suddenly scared of a possible vampire wanting to kill her, and there was no one around to help her.


In the far corner, she saw a blonde head, on the ground. Walking closer cautiously, she saw it was Spike, moaning on the ground and clutching his nose.


“Spike?” Buffy ran quickly to his side and kneeled down next to him with a concerned expression. “What happened?”


“The bloody bint hit me…ugh…my nose…” Spike brought himself to a sitting position, leaning against the wall of the alley with his eyes closed.


“Leanna hit you?? Why?” Buffy asked, surprised and yet not expecting any better from Leanna.


Spike opened his eyes, and saw Buffy before him, dressed in that little red halter dress, with the skirt of it riding dangerously high up her thighs from kneeling. He tried to ignore the tightening in his pants. “I told her I think we should take a break,” Spike replied, as he pretended to see if there was blood, not holding her gaze.


“Really!?” Buffy bursted out, “I mean um…oh really? Why what happened?” She tried to cover up her overwhelming sense of joy and relief. Inside she was screaming: ‘The bitch is gone!!’


Spike looked into Buffy’s eyes for a long moment, not sure what to tell her. He finally settled for a safe answer, “I just needed some space.”


“Oh…,” Buffy said in a slightly disappointed tone. She didn’t know what she wanted to hear, but his answer wasn’t it. She quickly masked her disappoint and focused on the part where she was ecstatic that Leanna was finally gone! She obviously didn’t end things well, so Buffy was hoping Leanna was gone for good.


“Well, are you gonna be alright?” Buffy asked, reaching out her fingers to barely touch the top of Spike’s hand.


“I’ll be fine,” Spike replied as both of them continued to hold each other’s gaze.


Spike snapped them out of it, and both of them began to stand up. “I should probably go back inside,” Spike began.


At that, Buffy suddenly remembered her conversation with Tara and the anguish she was feeling before Spike had distracted her. With a pained look, Buffy took a step backwards and said, “I…I need to go…”


“Already? What’s wrong?” Spike asked with furrowed brows.


“I…I’m not feeling well…” Buffy said quietly, beginning to turn away, “I’ll see you later…”


Spike was puzzled at her sudden change of mood and felt a tinge of worry. Not only that, but he was disappointed she was leaving, now that he didn’t have to play peacemaker for Buffy and Leanna. “Buffy,” Spike quickly called.


Buffy paused in her steps and turned to look at him. “Yea?”


He hesitated a moment as Buffy waited for his reply. “You look nice tonight,” Spike said in a softer tone.


His words brought a small smile to her sad face, and she felt a tug in the deep of her stomach. “Thanks,” Buffy replied with a timid smile. Then she turned and rushed out of the alley.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Buffy didn’t know what to do or where to go. ‘There is NO way I don’t have a soul – Tara must be wrong.’ Her head was swimming in thoughts – everything was completely messed up and she was stuck, with no way out. Not only that, she had let herself actually start to get comfortable here –that scared her more than being chipped and helpless.


She could go back to the crypt or… Buffy suddenly stopped in her tracks and turned towards the other direction. She wanted to see Dawn and her mom.

----

Heading up to the porch, Buffy felt unsure of whether she should be here. It felt so normal to come home, but she knew it wasn’t her home here, and Spike would be angry when he found out she was lurking near ‘his’ family. Standing in front of the door, she hesitated for several minutes.


But then Dawn opened the door, surprising Buffy.


“Buffy!!” Dawn exclaimed. “What are you doing standing out here? In a realllly cute dress that I WISH you would let me borrow…” Dawn said with an amused tone.


Buffy immediately smiled – this felt right and she missed her annoying little sister more than she could imagine. “You are NEVER borrowing this dress, missy. And I came to see if you guys were O.K. Plus, didn’t I promise you I would come visit?”


Dawn’s fake pout turned into a big smile at the fact that Buffy came to visit them and not Spike. She then turned around and yelled, “MOM!!!!!!! BUFFY’S HERE!!”


‘Ok maybe not missing the high-pitched yelling,’ Buffy thought as she flinched.


Joyce immediately came towards the front door, with a delighted smile on her face. “Buffy! I’m glad you came for a visit! We didn’t get a chance to talk last time…You look wonderful by the way.”


Starring at her mom and her sister almost made her forget about Tara’s words. Almost.


“Thanks, I hope I’m not bothering you guys, I just wanted to see how you both were doing,” Buffy smiled a sad smile at them, wishing she could jump inside the house and wrap her arms around them in a hug. Instead, she looked down, looking slightly defeated by the whole situation.


“Mom, can Buffy come in?? Pleaseeeeeee,” Dawn began, as she starred pleadingly into her mother’s eyes.


Buffy interjected quickly, “No, that’s O.K. I can just stay out -”


“Of course she can,” Joyce said as she smiled. Buffy looked up surprised and Joyce continued, “Buffy, I know you can’t hurt us, and I really doubt you would even if you could.”


Buffy hastily assured, “Of course I wouldn’t! I just thought Spike might not be comfortable with it…”


Dawn rolled her eyes as Joyce shot her a look. Turning back to Buffy, Joyce said, “Spike isn’t here, is he? Plus, I get to make the rules in my own house. Come in, Buffy.”


Buffy felt an overwhelming wave of relaxation and comfort. How could they possibly be vampires?? Joyce and Dawn seemed to like her despite the fact that she was “supposed to be on the other side.” ‘…Did mom and Dawn like Spike that much back in the real world?’


Joyce stepped aside to let Buffy in, and Buffy stepped in slowly, as if some barrier might smack her in the face again. When nothing did, she relaxed and scanned the house which appeared pretty much the same.


“We were just about to have a late dessert. Would you like some?”


Buffy was about to reply in earnest, before she realized that they probably had a selection of blood and blood. She crinkled her nose at the thought.


They seemed to know what she was thinking, so Dawn added, “Mom’s making banana splits, of the blood-free variety.”


“Oh yum. I’m in!” Buffy said brightly.


“Make yourself comfortable, it’ll just be a minute or so,” Joyce said warmly as she went into the kitchen. “Dawn, why don’t you come help me get some bowls and spoons?”


Both of them left Buffy in the living room. She walked slowly around the room, inspecting the house for any differences or any signs of ‘vampire!’ It seemed to be completely the same, until she got to the mantel.


On the mantel of the fireplace, there stood two picture frames. One was of Joyce, Spike, and Dawn on the couch, smiling with arms around each other. The other was just of Spike and Dawn outside, with Spike grabbing Dawn from behind and lifting her up in the air like a carefree kid.


Buffy outlined the picture with her fingers, as if she needed to feel that it was real. Never had she seen Spike in that light – she was in awe and she was also a bit jealous. She knew that was her place. Before she could fall back into her trap of wallowing in her own misery, Dawn’s head popped out of the kitchen doorway.


“Splits are ready!” Dawn said in an energetic tone. Dawn caught Buffy outlining the picture of Spike with her fingers, and gave her a roll of the eyes. “Desperate much?” Buffy pulled her hand away and opened her mouth to defend herself, but Dawn just disappeared into the dining room as she popped a whipped cream-covered finger in her mouth.


Buffy reluctantly dropped her urge to go and protest that she WASN’T in love with Spike, and instead followed Dawn, sitting herself down at the table with them. Her eyes brightened at the sight of a triple scoop split decked out in whipped cream for each of them.


“So Buffy, what’s been new lately? You seem troubled these past few days…” Joyce asked, both interested and concerned.


Buffy starred into her banana split, unsure of how to answer her. She knew her mom – it was hard to fool her once she caught on. She shoved a big spoonful of ice cream in her mouth to buy herself some time, and struggled to come up with something to say.


“I guess I’ve been a little down lately,” Buffy started, as she swirled her spoon in her ice cream.


“Why’s that?” Joyce asked calmly.


Buffy hesitated, before replying, “Sometimes…I just feel like everything is going against me, you know?”


“Are you talking about Spike?” Joyce gave her a knowing look.


“No, No, I’m not talking about him. God! Why does everyone think I’m in love with him!?” Buffy finished in an exasperating tone.


Dawn piped up, “Because you-,” but Buffy cut her off.


“Ah! Don’t answer that,” Buffy added hastily.


Joyce smiled before asking in a sympathetic tone, “Is it Leanna? Has she been bothering you a lot lately?”


‘Ugh. Leanna.’ The image brought a rolling of the eyes. Buffy’s head sang at the thought that Leanna was now gone. She wanted to tell them, but her conscience was telling her it was Spike’s business and his place to give the ‘totally fantastic news.’


“Well ok, yea, Leanna always bothers me, but no, not just her,” Buffy continued. She paused, thinking about her soul.


Buffy looked up to Joyce and said with a self-conscious tone, “Do you think of me as a soulless human?” Her eyes were etched with worry and doubt – doubt of the answer she would receive, doubt of the beliefs she had come to base her entire slaying career on.


Joyce, taken aback by the question, took a moment before leaning forward and looking Buffy straight in the eyes, saying, “Buffy, you have always acted like anything but soulless.”


Relieved at Joyce’s answer, and also saddened at the implication that she still had no soul, Buffy gave her a smile. Deciding to change the subject, Buffy broke the serious mood with, “So what’s this I hear about you and a certain fumbling date?” Buffy looked at Joyce with an amused smile, trying to suppress her laughter at the story Dawn had told her a few nights back when walking her home.


Joyce looked caught, and she turned to look at Dawn who was looking sheepish and feigning innocence. After a brief moment, Buffy burst out into laughter, joined by Joyce and Dawn.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Spike didn’t know why, but he felt bothered. Breaking up with Leanna was perhaps the biggest decision of his life, but it surprisingly did not affect him much. He had gone out with her for nearly TWO years, and suddenly ending it should have felt a bit painful or remorseful. Instead, it felt liberating. He knew that their relationship was never as deep in feelings as what he had for Dru, but from the lack of emotions he was having now, he wondered if it went beyond physical at all. Had he fooled himself into thinking Leanna was an essential part of his life?


Then there was Buffy. He had gone from hating her and loathing her, to not so much hating her…or loathing her. Confused would be an understatement. They had called a truce…something they had never done before. Buffy was a lot scarier on a truce than she ever was when she was trying to kill him. At that thought, he desperately tried to ignore the image of Buffy in that little red dress.


Walking back into the Bronze, he scanned the tables for the rest of the gang. They saw him coming, and had surprised looks on their faces.


“Whoa! Spike! You’re back…without Leanna…,” Xander said hesitantly. “Good God, what happened?”


“Is everything ok?” Willow said with a worried look on her face. Spike had never been pulled out of the Bronze by Leanna to go fool around and come back to tell about it.


“I got some news. We’re taking a break,” Spike spit out bluntly.


“Huh? What? Who?” Xander asked confused. He couldn’t believe his ears.


“Don’t be such a drama queen. We’re taking a break. You lot can rejoice now,” Spike finished, seemingly in a bad mood.


“Spike, we wouldn’t be happy if you’re unhappy,” Tara spoke up softly.


“Well I would. Sorry Spike, but Leanna had to go. I applaud you for finally ending our misery,” Anya bluntly interjected.


“Look, I’m not unhappy about our break. I’m the one who asked for it…I just,…I don’t know anymore,” Spike finished with a sigh.

“Is this about Buffy?” Xander asked, suddenly serious.

Spike didn’t reply right away as everyone looked at him, waiting for an answer. “No. It’s about me. And how I don’t know what the hell I felt before and what the hell I feel now.” With a swing of his duster, he was walking out of the Bronze again.


-----------------------------------------------


He headed for home, just wanting to lie back and relax, maybe watch the telly. Approaching the house, he heard a heart beat – a human. Rushing closer, he looked through the window, and saw Buffy sitting there with his mum and nibblet. His initial anger at her presence in his house disintegrated slightly as he watched them all laugh about something, with big smiles on all their faces. He stood there for a minute or two, watching them interact. How could that look so right?


Spike walked up to the door and opened it. He was still very annoyed that they had refused to listen to him and invited Buffy in anyway. What was the point of putting up a de-invite if they were going to keep breaking it? But the overall danger Buffy posed was practically non-existent, and Spike knew it deep down. He just didn’t like the fact of the matter.


Buffy immediately stopped laughing at the sound of a door opening. She tensed, knowing she had been caught. Joyce and Dawn seemed to understand, halting their mood to watch Spike saunter into the dining room, looking very annoyed.


“Well look. It’s a party. Why didn’t I get the invite?” Spike said in an annoyed voice as he raised his brow to look at Buffy who was sitting there in her little red dress with a banana split in front of her and the spoon still in her hand. She was really making it hard to stay mad at her when she looked like that.


“Spike, I…” Buffy began.


Joyce jumped in for the rescue, “Spike, I invited Buffy in. We’re just talking. Don’t make a big deal about it.”


“Yea! What’s the big deal?” Dawn said, suddenly very angry at Spike.


“No, it’s ok guys, I’ll just leave…” Buffy started to get up out of her chair.


Spike almost missed it, but for just a second, he saw the hurt and defeated look flicker in her eyes. He suddenly felt a bit sorry. Sorry and still annoyed – two FANTASTIC mixes.


He sighed and ran his hands through the back of his hair. “No, it’s fine. Stay and finish your ice cream and chat. I know you don’t pose a threat anyway.”


“Why gee thanks…” Buffy muttered.


Spike looked at her with an exasperated expression.


“Right, I’m kidding. I love being harmless. Look at me. I’m a bunny,” Buffy finished with false cheerfulness.


“I don’t think bunnies are red, pet,” Spike continued with an amused stare and uplifted brow.


“AHEM,” Dawn interjected. “This might be the one time I ask you to treat me like a child cuz EW.”


Joyce smirked, and jumped in, “Ok Dawnie, it’s time for bed. The sun’s almost up.” Joyce was pushing an unwilling Dawn toward the stairs, and heading up herself when she turned back to look at them and said, “Play nice, ok?” Joyce smiled and disappeared up the stairway.

Suddenly both uncomfortable, they fidgeted and reluctantly turned back to look at each other.

“Um…I should go,” Buffy began.

“Right,” Spike responded, unsure of what to say.

“Oh and Spike? I’m sorry I let them invite me in. I didn’t mean to put them in danger or anything. I just wanted to make sure they were ok…,” Buffy finished quietly. She really wasn’t use to doing this defending-herself-to-Spike thing. It just sounded weird.

Spike looked her in the eyes and said, “Buffy, they’re not in danger, because they were with you.” The moment he said those words was the first moment he ever admitted that to himself completely. He knew she wouldn’t ever hurt them, but always denied it to some degree. It just took him 2 years and a break-up to find that out.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


She would NOT let them embarrass her like that. Leanna marched through the streets of Sunnydale in a blind fury. ‘Buffy will pay. They all will.’

Spike and the gang were sitting at the Magic Box. He couldn’t get his mind off the past few days, and something was bothering him. He needed to tell them.


“I have something you guys won’t want to hear,” Spike began nervously.


“What is it?” Willow asked, as the whole gang furrowed their brows in worry.


Spike couldn’t reply immediately. He knew this wasn’t going to end well…


“I…,” Spike started, as he faced them with hesitation.


They were all getting worried. Spike usually said whatever he wanted with utmost bluntness. Hesitation was a sign of something bad.


“Dear God, just tell us before we all have ulcers,” Xander demanded.


“IthinkI’minlovewithBuffy,” Spike said with closed eyes.


A moment paused.


“We already knew,” Giles replied calmly.


------


Spike jolted up in a frantic gasp. ‘What the fuck!!!’ He turned in all directions panicking, until he realized he was in his bed. Gasping for unnecessary air, his jumbling thoughts cleared, as he realized it was only a dream. And then panic rose up in him again. ‘I don’t love Buffy! Why the fuck did I dream that!?!’


Suddenly, ‘only a dream’ was not good enough for him. He didn’t want to believe he even just dreamt that. Throwing off the covers and getting up, he clutched his head and pulled on his hair in frustration. Pacing around his room, he tried to FORCE the thoughts out of him – the dream, the idea of it, Buffy…


Finally, he stopped pacing. There was only one answer: get completely toasted.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Buffy had a good night’s sleep. Spending yesterday with Dawn and mom was just what she needed. In her pitiful situation, she clung to whatever tidbits she got, including Spike’s remark of trust in her.


It was completely ridiculous actually, that she cared THAT much about something Spike said. It was just Spike. Mooning over Drusilla, pitifully-chipped Spike. But Buffy knew she was lying to herself. He was definitely none of those things here, and for some reason, she cared about what he said, a lot.


Shuddering at the thought, she busied herself with dressing and pushed it out of her mind.


Then the conversation she had with Tara about her soul popped into her head. ‘Buffy, I want to believe you, I do. But if you had a soul, I would have seen it. And you don’t’ Tara’s words tore at her heart, even though they were said with utmost sympathy. She didn’t know what to do or think about it, but she knew she had to go apologize to Tara for running out on her so harshly.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Buffy entered the Magic Box, and five heads looked up at the sound of the door jingle. To both her relief and disappointment, Spike wasn’t there.


Tara eyes immediately softened at Buffy’s arrival. She felt bad for upsetting her so much yesterday. She wasn’t sure why Buffy would think she had a soul, but the devastation in Buffy’s voice and expression had torn at her sympathy regardless.


Buffy looked at Tara with slightly ashamed eyes, coated with an expression of pain, and then darted her gaze to the side.


“Hi Buffy,” Willow chirped, as she began to notice the sadness in the air. Her smile turned to a frown. “What’s wrong?”


“Uh nothing…I just…Tara, can I talk to you?” Buffy asked quietly.


The others frowned in puzzlement.


Tara saw Willow open her mouth, about to speak, so she jumped in before they could say anything, “Yea sure, let’s go for a quick walk outside!”


Grabbing Buffy by the arm gently, Tara ushered them both toward the door.


“Wait-,” Willow began, but the two girls already went out the door.


“What the hell was that all about?” Xander said puzzled.


“Do you think they’re having a secret affair?” Anya pondered out loud.


“What!? No,” Willow replied quickly at the absurd question, “Of course they aren’t! Buffy’s not gay…” Willow wavered, as she frowned a bit. She knew the thought was ridiculously ‘ANYA,’ but now she felt a little jealous that she was being left out of their little private conversation, even if she knew Anya was just messing around.


“Anya!” Xander accused.


“Ok ok, I’m just kidding! Don’t worry, Willow. I’m sure you give Tara many good orgasms,” Anya finished with a patronizing voice of reassurance.


Willow just cringed in response, as Giles was furiously cleaning his glasses, muttering under his breath.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


“What’s on your mind, Buffy?” Tara asked, once they were far enough away from the building so that even vampire hearing couldn’t reach them.


“I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” Buffy said sheepishly, “for running out and being so angry. I know it wasn’t your fault…”


“Buffy, it’s ok. I’m sorry I upset you. I-, I had no idea that…you didn’t remember that you have no soul,” Tara stuttered.


Buffy winced at the words, but quickly tried to regain her composure.


“Is there something you wanted to talk about? Or anything I can do to help you?” Tara asked, still confused at Buffy and this whole thing.


Buffy thought about all the things she wanted to say. ‘Tell me I have a soul. Tell me how to get out of here. Help me get this chip out.’ A thought came to her mind.


“Actually, yea…” Buffy began hesitantly, trying to think of how she wanted to phrase it. “Can you help me do some research?”


Tara was a bit surprised at her request, and disappointed that Buffy didn’t seem to want to explain the whole soul thing, but she let it go. “Y-yea, s-sure Buffy. What’s it for?”


“I want you to help me look for anything about like myths or legends of world reversal. How the world can possibly be reversed, or if all good can turn to evil, vice versa. I know it sounds stupid, but I just need to make sure about my vision, you know?” Buffy said, hoping she sounded convincing.


Tara hesitated for a moment, until she saw the eagerness and pleading in Buffy’s eyes. “Ok Buffy, I’ll try my best, b-but I’ve never heard of such a thing.”


Buffy looked hopeful still. “Will you try?”


“Of course,” Tara said, as she squeezed Buffy’s hand quickly.


“And let’s just keep this between us. They already think I’m crazy enough,” Buffy finished.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Walking back into the Magic Box, Tara tried to think of something to tell them, but came up with nothing.


“What was that about? Is Buffy ok?” Willow asked, more curious than concerned.


“Yea, everything’s fine now. Buffy was just apologizing for ditching me at the Bronze yesterday. She was upset about not remembering certain things,” Tara said, trying not to stutter too much.


“What do you mean?” Willow asked.


“You know, Mike and…other things…” Tara said.


Willow looked suspicious of her lame answer, but quickly remembered this was Tara.


“Yea…I suppose she did look upset yesterday…” Willow trailed off.


“Why would she take just you aside?” Xander asked suspiciously.


Tara looked up at his question, “Well, it’s not exactly like you’ve been the n-nicest person to Buffy, h-have you?”


Everyone turned to look at him.


“What?? It’s just Buffy!” Xander defended against accusing eyes. But they all didn’t even reply, turning their back to their work.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Buffy went walking around Sunnydale, deep in her thoughts. She was clinging to the last shred of hope she had with Tara – it was an incredibly slim chance, but there was nothing else she could do. She wanted to go home badly. But a tiny, teeny, small part of her didn’t. She realized she didn’t have to patrol much here. She wasn’t the Chosen One here, not with the chip anyway. Her initial anger and feelings of defenselessness were slowly being replaced by relief that she was getting a chance to relax from her ‘duty.’ Still, she had to get home soon.


Walking past a dark alley, Buffy suddenly heard a loud crashing of glass. Jumping out of her thoughts and into alert-mode, Buffy cautiously peered down the alley, surveying the source of the noise. It was coming from what seemed to be the back door of a gaudily-lit bar.


She stepped into the alley slowly until she was about 20 feet from the back door, straining to hear anything else.


A recognizable, but muffled voice from within yelled, “Give me another bottle, you bloody git!! I’m not that drunk!”


Buffy was surprised. She didn’t expect to hear Spike’s voice. Deciding that the scene he was making was probably worth seeing, she opened the backed door hesitantly, hoping drunk vampires didn’t equal hungry-for-Buffy vampires. In both ways.


As she opened the door more, it creaked loudly, making several heads turn up to look in her direction.


Freezing at the spot, Buffy gave the room of observers a meek smile.


“Shlayer!” Spike yelled as he smacked down his bottle on the bar. “What the hell are you doing here??”


Oh Spike was definitely drunk. He looked totally wasted, resulting in a combination of incoherence and random outbursts of anger.


Buffy tried not to laugh, as she walked over to him by the bar. “Spike, you’re completely wasted. Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Buffy said with an amused smirk.


“Get away from me! And tell your head to stop moving from side to side! It’s bloody annoying and rude,” Spike finished as he guzzled down more alcohol.


Buffy flinched at his demand for her to get away from him, but quickly remembered he was drunk.


Then, the bartender came over to them. “You want anything, Slayer?”


“Um…a world of no,” Buffy replied, shocked that she was known and not killed on the spot here. It was a vampire bar after all. ‘I guess it’s like the Bronze…’


“You’re bloody stupid. And you have stupid hair. If you don’t want a drink then get out,” Spike said in between his gulps.


Buffy pouted. She was use to Spike being a jackass, but she did NOT have stupid hair.


“And will you shut up with that already!?” Spike asked in a highly annoyed tone.


“What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t say anything yet,” Buffy retorted, her patience for drunk-Spike wearing thin.


“Your heartbeat is giving me a headache. Tell it to be quiet!” Spike yelled.


“Alriiiiiight then... C’mon, let’s go. You’re way too drunk,” said Buffy.


She reached out to grab his arm to lead him off the stool, but Spike violently flung his arm out of her reach and fumbled with his balance.


“Hey! No touching!” Spike yelled in a defensive voice. “I don’t love you!”


Surprised, Buffy stepped back from him for a moment. That was a random outburst. And his words disturbed her in an odd way. Spike was supposed to say the opposite of that.


“Fine. Deal with your own puddle of vomit,” Buffy said angrily, tired of being calm to this jackass-version Spike. She turned to storm out and leave Spike in his own drunken misery. ‘Did I ask him if he loves me? Moron…’ While making her way across the room to the door, a large figure came to stand in front of her, blocking her path.


“Hey Slayer, you’re not leaving already, are you?” said the male voice.


Buffy looked up at the man. He towered over her, as her eyes traveled up his form to his face. He had about the same form as Angel. Expecting a face of an oaf, Buffy was met with one. He had black hair, brown eyes, and just looked plain sleazy. She certainly wanted to hit this guy in the face for the way he was staring at her.


“Yea, I’m leaving. Excuse me,” Buffy replied quickly. She moved to the right to bypass him, but he moved to his left and stood in her way.


“You can’t leave yet. You didn’t even have a drink! Here! Drink this shot!” he boomed, as he picked the shot glass on the table nearby and thrust it towards Buffy.


‘Ah, great. A big, drunken, oaf-fy vampire.’ Buffy thought with a roll of her eyes. Before she could reply, she heard from behind her, “Hey! You git!”


Spike stumbled over to them, with a bottle still in his hand. “Get away from my shlayer! Only I can yell at her!”


Buffy shot him an angry glare, and opened her mouth to yell at him, “I’m not YOURS, you drunken-.”


The oaf cut in, “See, she’s not yours. Spike, why don’t you go find Leanna or something? Buffy and I are having fun!”


Buffy was about to correct the oaf, but saw the pissed off look on Spike’s face, and closed her mouth, deciding to play along. Instead, she stepped closer to the oaf and took the shot from his hand, pretending she had asked him for one all along. Giving Spike a haughty smirk, she said, “We’re having fun. Why don’t you go find Leanna?”


Spike looked pissed in his drunken state. But then a smirk came to his mouth, “Really? You’re having fun? Let me see you down that shot then.”


Buffy’s haughty smirk disappeared, replaced by a frown. She wasn’t planning on drinking it, because she knew how well THAT would turn out. But Spike was obviously challenging her. Staring at the glass in her hands, she frowned. When she looked back up at Spike, he had a pompous smirk on his face. His expression pissed her off, and she lifted the shot to her mouth, dumping it into her mouth with one move. The liquid scorched her throat and she felt like she was going to gag.


“Bleh!” Buffy said instinctively, as her face contorted in disgust. Looking at Spike’s surprised face, she regained her cool and added, “See. I can down a shot!”


The oaf looked pleased and quickly got her another one. But the first drink had already started to make her feel spacey. This was not going to end well.

Three shots later, Buffy was completely plastered.


Buffy, Spike, and oaf (who Buffy found out was named Chuck) sat at a table together – all too drunk to continue the previous fight.


“Spike! You doof!” Buffy said randomly.


“What?” Spike said with an innocent look.


“You got me drunk!!” Buffy accused.


“What? I didn’t do anything! You drunked yourself!” Spike replied a bit incoherently.


“You did so, you stupid vampire! I’m leaving!” Buffy slipped out of her chair and grasped the table to keep her from falling.


Spike rolled his eyes and reached over to help her up. Standing up straight, Buffy pulled away defiantly.
“I can take care of myself! I’m the slayer!” Buffy said with a raised chin.


Spike’s raised brow showed his response. “What are you gonna do? Stake me?”


Buffy’s forehead creased in concentration as she tried to think of an answer. “No, but I’ll…I’ll…I’ll steal your drink!” She grabbed the big bottle of booze, turned and stormed out of the bar.


“Hey!!” Spike cried indignantly. He made no effort to get up though. Instead he just grabbed another bottle and took a big gulp.


Chuck got up out of his chair clumsily and slurred, “Seeee ya laterrrr, Spike.”


“Where you goin’? We didn’t finish all the booze yet,” Spike asked.


Chuck, looking particularly nasty in his drunken state, replied with a leer, “I’m going to walk Buffy home. If you know what I mean,” he licked his lips in illustration.


Spike sobered up for a moment, becoming furious. Lunging at Chuck, he pushed him backwards into the neighboring table. “Shove off you bloody wanker! I’ll rip your entrails out!” Chuck fell into a table and a glass bottle fell on his head and broke, knocking him out momentarily. Spike, satisfied at the sight, turned to storm out of the bar, but not without turning back and grabbing his bottle of booze first.


-------------------


He followed the smell of alcohol. It was obvious from the trail that Buffy was spilling all over the place. ‘What a bloody lightweight.’ Spike thought. He closed his eyes in frustration, ‘Why am I going after her? I need to stay away from her.’


When he opened his eyes, he saw Buffy crouched down on the grass near the cemetery. He could hear and see her from the distance. She appeared to be touching something on the grass.


“oOoOo pretty flower,” Spike heard Buffy say to herself.


‘She’s completely bonkers,’ Spike thought to himself as he approached her.


Buffy looked up at the sight of black boots walking towards her. “Spike! Look what I found!” Buffy said chirpily, forgetting her previous annoyance at him.


“Yea, that’s great, luv. Let’s go! We’re gonna get you home so I can go back for more booze!” Spike slurred.


He began to usher her forward, but she dragged back, unwilling to leave. With a pout, she said, “I didn’t get my flower yet!” Using big wide eyes, she pouted at him in a puppy dog face.


“Bloody hell,” Spike muttered under his breath. He reached down and snatched the flower out of the grass, handing it to Buffy. “Now let’s go!”


Buffy’s eyes glittered in childlike happiness at the flower as she willing let Spike push her forward into the cemetery. “Wait!” Buffy yelled.


“What? What happened?” Spike asked rapidly while he jumped in all directions surveying for trouble.


“I lost my booze,” Buffy said, realizing she only held a flower in her hands.


Spike turned back and looked around. Near the edge of the grass on the cement, lay her shattered bottle. “You broke it, pet.”


“But…but…I want more. Can I have some of yours?”


“Yes.”


Buffy reached forward to grab it, but Spike held it up out of reach. “When you get to your crypt.”


Buffy shoulders sagged in disappointment as a slight pout came back. She turned to keep walking, but muttered to herself, “It’s your stupid crypt, you bleach head.”


They walked in silence for a few minutes, until Spike began to hum a tune.


Buffy looked at him curiously. “What are you humming?”


“You don’t know this song? You’re daft,” Spike replied, before he went back to humming, this time even louder.


Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated


Buffy made a face. “Will you sedate me so I don’t have to listen to your horrible singing?”


Spike glared at Buffy, insulted. “I’m a bloody great singer!”


“Yea, that’s what everyone who auditions for American Idol says,” Buffy retorted with an amused smile.


“Oi! I’m not that bad! If you don’t want to listen to my singing, stop hanging around me!” Spike yelled.


“I’m not hanging around you! YOU followed ME. And you won’t let me have a sip of your drink, you big meanie!” Buffy retorted ineffectively.


“Fine! What was I thinking actually being nice and walking back with you? It’s not like you ever appreciate anything at all or ever stop being a bitch!” Spike screamed, as his drunken state was elevating his outbursts.


“I’m the bitch!? You’re a bitch! I came to help your drunk-ass out of the bar and you were all mean and jackass-y. First you’re mean to me, Then, you’re nice. Now you’re mean again. AND you got me drunk, but NOW you won’t give me another drink! Make up your mind, you doofus!” Buffy yelled as she waved her flower accusingly at Spike.


“You know what? I was daft to walk you home. You go that way, I’ll go this way. You’re wasting precious time that I should be spending at the bar! Get attacked by Chuck, see if I care,” Spike finished as he turned and dramatically walked away with bottle in tow.


Buffy frowned as she watched him walk away. ‘Get attacked by Chuck? Was that oaf going to attack me?’ She started to worry. Suddenly she was very sober of the fact that she was by herself and a vampire attack meant total helplessness. But she was still drunk enough not to make smart decisions. Therefore, she continued on her way, opposite Spike, with the flower still clutched in her hand.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Buffy continued walking. After a few minutes, she realized she was humming the song Spike was singing earlier. ‘Damn it! He got it stuck in my head!’ Buffy thought.


Suddenly, she heard footsteps behind her, and whipped around in alarm.


“Ahhhhhh!” Buffy screamed at the top of her lungs when she was met by a tall, dark figure inches away from her.


“Whoa, Buffy, calm down. It’s just me!” came a slurred voice.


Buffy opened her eyes and looked up. It was Chuck. Giving him a nervous laugh, she backed up a step. “H-hey Chuck. What’s up?” Darting her eyes around, she wondered how fast she could run while drunk.


“Nothing, sweetcakes. Just looking for you,” Chuck leered as he stepped forward, but Buffy matched him by stepping back.


“Oh? Why?” Buffy asked, as her mind searched for some sort of strategy. She pretty much sucked at all things non-violent in strategy.


“I figured I’d walk you home to your crypt. You know it’s not safe out here right?” Chuck said in a suddenly sober, serious, but creepy tone.


“Oh really?” Buffy said meekly. “Hey! Why don’t we go back to the bar and have some more drinks?”


Buffy turned quickly to start walking, but her heart stopped for a moment when Chuck grabbed her fiercely by the arm. “No, why don’t we just go back to your crypt?” Chuck asked as he came inches away from her face, his foul breath breathing onto her face.


She tried to pull her arm away without activating the chip, but Chuck’s hold didn’t loosen.


“Let go of me!” Buffy cried. She struggled against his grasp as he tried to stay in control. Coming to a decision, she braced herself for the pain, and aimed for the best shot she had at getting away. Kneeing him hard in the groin, she screamed out in agony as the pain of the chip shot through her head and she fell to the ground.


Chuck screamed in pain and vamped out while he was on the floor.


Both of them on the ground, Buffy tried to ignore the tears in order to get up. As she was about to stand up, a wrist came around her ankle and she was pulled off her feet, knocking roughly against the ground.


-----


Spike was walking back to the bar singing, when he heard a high-pitched scream. He paused in his steps, recognizing that it was probably Buffy. Cursing himself for ever meeting her and cursing himself for leaving her alone, he turned and ran back in the direction of the scream.


He vamped out on the run, trying to get a better sense of where she was. Suddenly, as the trees cleared, she saw two figures on the ground, and one was Buffy. Letting out a guttural growl, he lunged forward for Chuck, just after Buffy was flung off her feet.


Grabbing Chuck by the shoulders, Spike tossed him back against a tombstone. He threw two hard punches to his face. Chuck, surprisingly, quickly recovered and hit Spike in the stomach.


“What the hell is your problem, Spike?” Chuck yelled before he let out another punch. “She’s just a stupid human! We’re just having a little fun! But o wait, I forgot. You fall in love with crazy human chicks, huh? What was that chick’s name?”


Spike let out a yell as he kicked Chuck in the gut. Grabbing a large rock broken off a tombstone, he brought it down fiercely on the back of Chuck’s head, hearing something crack. Still furious, he grabbed a wide stick lying on the ground and aimed for his heart, but missed.


“Lucky for your heart I’m still drunk, you bloody wanker!” Spike finished as he backed away from Chuck’s unconscious form.


Turning to look for Buffy, he saw her getting up off the ground. Walking over to her, he felt a wave of concern and guilt. He had practically wished an attack on her.


“You alright?” Spike asked, trying to keep emotion out of his voice.


“Y-yea…” Buffy’s voice wavered in hesitation. She wrapped her arms around herself as her eyes remained downcast. “Thanks.”


Spike sighed loudly, as he came closer to her. “I’m sorry I left. I was being a jerk.” He noticed that Buffy’s heartbeat was still beating rapidly, and he saw her quickly wipe tears (from the pain of the chip) out of her eyes. Suddenly feeling even more remorseful, he moved forward and wrapped his arms around her in a comforting gesture. “It’s ok now.”


Buffy’s hands, which were wrapped around herself, came to rest on Spike’s chest in front of her.


‘You shouldn’t be hugging her! Get away from her you git!’ Spike thought to himself. ‘This is what I get for being drunk…’ Still, he didn’t move away, as Buffy seemed to lean into him.


Sighing into his chest, Buffy tried to calm her breathing, but it seemed her heart was beating even faster. No, not from the attack and utter helplessness she felt just a few moments ago, but from the close proximity of their embrace, and the feel of Spike’s arms around her.


Not thinking, Buffy moved her hands down Spike’s chest before wrapping her arms around him too, causing Spike to suddenly tense. Growing hard at her caress, he now realized the danger of this embrace.


Buffy looked up at his reaction with a puzzled look. “What’s wrong?”


Starring her in the eyes, he didn’t respond. His gaze wandered to her lips. ‘Back away now!’ his reasonable side screamed to him. But his urges (and the alcohol) won over that voice, and he moved forward, attacking her lips in a heated moment.


Buffy was surprised at the kiss, but only took a brief moment before returning Spike’s kiss eagerly. She frantically caressed his lips with hers, bringing her arms around his neck and pressing her body against his.


Moaning at the heat searing between their bodies, Spike began to delve his tongue into her mouth teasingly, as one hand played with the smooth skin below her blouse while the other ran through Buffy’s soft hair, stopping at the nape of her neck.


As she pulled away to gasp for breath, her chest heaving, Spike took the moment to start kissing on her neck hungrily. Buffy let out a raspy gasp at the feel of his cool tongue caressing her blazing skin. He ground his erection into her, letting her know how much she was affecting him.


As their lips met in another series of kisses, Buffy brought her legs up to wrap around his waist, as he hoisted her up against his body. Quickly looking around, Spike carried Buffy in the direction of her crypt.


Still locked in a desperate kiss, the two blondes blindly worked their way over to the crypt. Finally seeing the wall, Spike made a noise of relief and slammed Buffy against the outside of the crypt, eliciting a gasp.


“Spike…inside the crypt…now,” Buffy managed to get in between their long kiss.


He wasted no time, knocking the door open and taking them inside. Walking over to the sarcophagus, he placed Buffy down and shed his duster, flinging it aside. Buffy was about to do the same with her shirt, but Spike pushed her hands away and lifted the shirt over her head in one smooth motion. In turn, he stripped his shirt off, causing both of them to pause for a brief moment at each other’s state of undress.


The look they shared was one seeking assurance – whether or not they should keep going.


Spike’s answer was to lunge at her lips once again, while he worked on the button of her pants and she worked on his belt buckle. He slid her pants down her legs, tossing them aside. Both of them impatiently shed the rest of their clothes - Spike let out a growl at the sight of her naked body, while Buffy’s breathing became labored.


Buffy clutched at his arm to pull him closer again. Not being able to stand it any longer, Spike crawled on top of her on the sarcophagus and thrust into her with one smooth motion, sealing a deep kiss at the same time.


Pulling back from the kiss, they starred at each other as their breaths hitched. Feeling overwhelming sensations, they both knew there was no turning back now.


Buffy dug her fingernails into Spike’s bare back, as he began to move against her, seeking friction. As they moved together in earnest, the world seemed to melt away.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A/N: I’m sorry if you were looking for more details, lol, but I seriously had to end it on that note. I’ve been putting it off for 8 chapters now, so I figured I’d have to face it sooner or later! Hope it’s ok… Please review and the morning after will be much more inspired ;-) [Add-in: I have since gotten up the nerve to do real NC-17. It's coming up in later chapters.]

He felt warm. An enveloping comfort spread all over his body as his dreams faded his reality…


This was different from before. The first couple of times had been urgent and lustful – the goal to fulfill needs that were bottled up inside. This time, they kissed slowly– softly. Lips grazing over each other tenderly, the pace was agonizing.

As they moved together, he lightly pushed back her hair from her damp skin and leaned down to catch her lip with his. Their previously expressive moans were replaced with hushed cries and light pants of breath. Before, it was overwhelming want. Now, their lust mingled with something else – something they couldn’t define. Starring into each other’s eyes as they moved against one another, they knew this wasn’t just sex, but neither of them dared to think beyond it.


A warm, soft body shifted in his arms and he instinctively moved closer, nuzzling the skin of her neck. When he felt hair tickle his nose, he was jerked out of his slumber, into reality. Unfortunately, as soon as he woke, the overwhelming pain in his head took over all the good feelings he had a few moments ago. Groaning, he opened an eyelid and saw golden hair cascading in front of his face. Her smooth back faced him and his arms were wrapped around her waist, as if it were the most natural thing.


“O Bloody Hell,” Spike said out loud, retracting his arms and putting his face in his hands.


Buffy stirred at the loss of contact, whimpering slightly in her sleep as she turned toward Spike seeking comfort. Spike tensed as Buffy rolled toward him, nestling against his chest. She made a slight noise of satisfaction as he stayed frozen in place. He made no effort to move, but panic was etched all over his face.


‘What the hell have we done?? Bloody hell, I’m such a drunken wanker!’ His head was screaming at him to jump up and leave before she woke up. But with her against him, it was as if his own body refused to get up.


Suddenly, Buffy groaned in discomfort. He froze again, knowing she had just woken up.


Her head was pounding. “Ugh…,” Buffy managed to get out. She was moving to her hand to clutch her head in pain, when she felt it brushing across something smooth, like skin. Freezing her movements, her eyes shot open and met with Spike’s chest.


“Oh god,” Buffy said as she backed away on the bed. Looking at Spike’s face, she was met with his equally troubled expression. Flashes came to her at full speed. The alcohol, the kiss, and the sex. And then more sex. ‘Oh my god, the sex.’ Her look was panicked as she now remembered all the different images in her head. ‘How did I let this happen??’


“What did we do?” Buffy asked despairingly as she put her hands over her face. Her hangover was not helping whatsoever.


“Apparently, many things,” Spike replied with a guilty look. His head was still reeling with confusion, but the images of their heated night bored into his mind.


Buffy suddenly realized both their states of undress. She quickly pulled at the sheet and covered her chest defensively. This act seemed to snap Spike out of it.


“Right,” Spike said as he shot up, cursing himself for the whole thing. This was just awkward. Looking around for his pants, he cringed at the sight of her bedroom. Apparently, the ‘many things’ they did included destroying everything around them. It looked like a chaotic mess.


At the same time, Buffy, wrapped in the sheet, was muttering under her breath while she searched for clothes to wear. Both of them avoided each other as they rushed to clothe themselves.


Abruptly, Buffy stopped as a thought came to her mind. She was supposed to be the one that would run away, not him! Disbelief of what they had done was now replaced with anger. Whirling around to face him, Buffy burst out suddenly, “I KNEW all you wanted to do was get into my pants!”


Spike stopped at her words and looked back at her. Finishing zipping up his jeans, he turned around to face her fully. “What the hell are you talking about?” he said in an annoyed voice.


“You!” Buffy shook her finger at him accusingly, “This is your fault! You just get me drunk when you KNOW that me plus alcohol equals un-mixy, and then you kiss me, and then you sleep with me! Now you’re practically fleeing from the scene!”


Spike looked outraged by her accusation. “Are you daft!? You’re trying to blame this ALL on me?? You act like I shoved a bottle down your throat! I seem to remember you downing several shots all on your own, you crazy bint. As for the rest, you seemed pretty eager yourself,” Spike said with a tight but smug smile. But he knew it was no laughing matter.


“I was drunk,” Buffy said indignantly as she held her chin high. She was trying to remain angry – it was the easy way out. Underneath, she was confused. She didn’t want them to stand here yelling at each other, topping today as one of her infamous ‘worst morning-afters’ ever. Her mind was screaming at her for committing such a mistake, but her heart was tearing at the old feeling of rejection.


He looked at her raised chin and saw her mask of bitchiness. But looking closely, he could see her eyes were slightly glistening and her chin trembled. He understood now. She was insecure. His angry expression slowly melted away.


“Buffy…,” Spike let out an exasperated sigh as his hand came to smooth his tousled hair.


Buffy was looking away, waiting for him to continue, but he didn’t. He just stood there, struggling to find words.


Holding the sheet securely around her, her eyes shot up to his. She asked demandingly, “What is this?” Her tone wavered and there was a hint of desperation as she said, “Why did we let this happen?”


Letting out a frustrated sigh, Spike stepped toward her until he had closed the distance between them. Her eyes lowered and her arms wrapped around her body tighter, holding the sheet.


“I don’t know…” Spike replied honestly. ‘Leave now you git! Get away from her!’ Instead, he found himself reaching towards her face. He brushed his thumb against her cheek caressingly, causing her to look up at him. Both of them were confused at what it meant. Last night was filled with a lot of emotions, emotions that they didn’t think were possible anymore.


And at his touch, her resolve broke down. Her body relaxed as he ran his hands down both of her arms lightly. Pulling her gently against him, he wrapped his arms around her, engulfing her in his embrace.


Her resistance melted, as he calmed her fears of rejection, but not completely. She sighed as she placed her forehead against his chest. He was soothingly running his hands down her back, but his face showed conflicting emotions.


“I left Dawn and mum alone and they’re probably wondering where am I…,” Spike pulled his head back to look at her. Tucking her hair behind her ear, he said, “I have to go…”


Masking her disappointment and the return of her fear, she gave him an understanding nod of the head. Spike didn’t know why the sight of her like that made his stomach tighten. He couldn’t stay to keep up this continuous battle of emotions. So, after placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, he was gone.


His touch lingered on her skin. She exhaled as she closed her eyes, trying to regain her composure. Opening her eyes, she looked around ‘her’ bedroom at the mess, and her anger and fear rose once again. She realized, how in the short time she had been here, Spike was able to break down all of her resolve and work his way into her emotions. It was something she didn’t think she could handle anymore.


-----


Walking through the cemetery, Spike’s mind raced with thoughts. His jumbled memories kept switching back to the images of him and Buffy having sex in the crypt. He searched his mind for how this all happened in the first place, and when exactly did they cross that boundary. ‘How did I get so drunk?’ Spike asked himself in frustration.


And then he stopped in his tracks. The dream. He remembered the dream from two nights ago. “Oh bleeding hell, someone kill me,” Spike said to himself pathetically.

------


“That can be arranged,” said the frustrated female, as she watched the scene in front of her. “Ahhhhh! Those twits are going to ruin everything!”


“What did you expect? You’ve seen the history between those two,” the male countered.


She glared at him momentarily. “I’ll deal with it.” She paused in thought. “Send her back in.”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Tara was looking for something but she didn’t even know what. She was worried about Buffy, so she told Willow she would be researching some more magic spells over at the Magic Box. But now, sitting down looking over a bunch of books, she realized it was pretty much hopeless. All the information she had gotten from Buffy and the others was that Buffy had had a dream where the world was reversed – where humans were the majority and vampires were evil. If Tara didn’t know any better, she would think it was all some sort of Buffy fantasy…but she had a weird feeling about it. Something told her that Buffy was serious and she was hiding something else important.


With Anya and Giles gone, she was left to baby sit the store for the evening. It was a slow day anyway. Seeing nothing remotely related in the book she was reading, she sighed and closed it. Perhaps she would continue this tomorrow….


Tara got up and headed over to the bookshelf to put the book back in its place. The tight row of books was unrelenting as she tried to stick it back in between the others. Giving it a final big shove, she forced the book into its place, shaking the entire bookcase. ‘Thump!’


Tara jumped slightly as a book dropped down, missing her by a few inches. With startled eyes, she peered at the large book that had fallen onto the ground. Picking it up, she examined the dusty and intricately carved wooden cover. ‘How interesting. I’ve never seen this one before…’


She peered up to see where it had fallen from, but couldn’t find a vacant spot in sight. ‘Weird…’


She brought the heavy book over to the table and set it down. She opened the cover and was about to start reading the first page, but suddenly, the pages started turning rapidly, settling on a page in the middle of the book. Alarmed, Tara moved back for a moment – she had barely touched the pages and there wasn’t a draft in the Magic Box either. A chill went through her.


Hesitantly, she came closer to the book and peered at the page it had settled on.


It took her a while to decipher it. ‘The Myth of the Rajendra Gem?? What is that?’


The description was short. It seemed vague and incomplete: …It extends back before the time of humans or demons. Cast down by the Gods, it remains an unfound myth. It is said that its powers can be extracted to blend the forces of reality, for either good or evil.


That was all it said. Tara’s puzzled expression remained on her face as she flipped through the other pages, finding nothing else. Was this what she was looking for? There had to be more…


At that moment, the bell above the door rang. Giles, Willow, Anya, and Xander came walking in.


“Hey Tara!” everyone chimed. Willow smiled lovingly as she approached her, “Did you find any interesting spells?”


“Oh….uhhh…n-no, not yet,” Tara quickly smiled to mask her stutter.


“Whatcha got there?” Willow asked as she peered at the weird looking book on the table.


“Where did you find that, Tara?” Giles asked inquisitively, as he peered at the strange carvings.


She knew she was supposed to keep researching a secret for Buffy, but they caught her with the book, so she figured there was no way around it. “Um…it fell off the bookcase…you’ve never seen this before?” Tara asked, confused.


“No, I don’t believe I have…let me see,” Giles grabbed the book to examine it, running his hands along the unique cover. “It’s quite heavy, isn’t it? Are you sure it’s from my bookcase?”


“Yea, it dropped down when I was putting a different book back,” Tara replied.


“That thing looks like a tree,” Xander commented in the background.


“It looks valuable. I hope it’s worth lots of money,” Anya added.


“Well did you find anything interesting in it?” Giles asked as he turned to Tara and set down the book.


She had to show them – it was too cryptic. “Yea, actually…the book kind of just flew open to this page,” Tara said hesitantly, as she opened it back up and searched for the page she was looking at. There were no ‘flying’ pages this time. “Look at this part here,” she pointed.


“ The myth of the Rajendra Gem…It extends back before the time of humans or demons. Cast down by the Gods, it remains an unfound myth. It is said that its powers can be extracted to blend the forces of reality, for either good or evil. ” Giles had a uncertain look on his face. “Is that it?”


“Yea…weird, huh?” Tara said, drifting off into thought.


“What are you trying to research?” Giles asked her.


“Well…I…um,” Tara sighed. “I was researching more on Buffy’s dream. You know, the one she had a couple nights ago?”


Xander rolled his eyes. “What is the big deal? She had a DREAM. We already wasted some time looking into it and there’s nothing.”


“Why did you decide to research again, Tara?” Willow had a puzzled look.


“I dunno…I guess I just felt it bothering me, and decided to take a look around the books…but now I can’t figure out this passage…what do you think it means?” Tara asked the group.


Willow read it again under her breath. It was silent as all of them had a pondering look.


Willow’s eyes widened. “Oh Oh! Blend of reality, reality blending! Do you think it has to do with Buffy’s dream?”


“I’m not quite sure…that’s sort of vague to conclude a world reversal, don’t you agree?” Giles asked with a tilt of his head. “It could mean a certain number of things. Blending of reality could mean like…insanity or an illusion.”


“Maybe it’s telling us that Buffy is insane and we shouldn’t be researching her dream,” Xander emphasized.


“Honey, be quiet now,” Anya said with a roll of her eyes.


The bell on the door rang. A blonde stepped in.


“Hey guys. Did you miss me?” Leanna said with a haughty smirk.



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A/N: I debated and debated about the tenderness in the scene with Spike and Buffy. Originally, it was going to be complete denial. In the end, I wrote it and I just wanted it, lol. I’m sorry if anyone thinks it’s out of character, but they are very confused ;) Review please!

“Hey guys. Did you miss me?” Leanna said with a haughty smirk.


Everyone froze. It took a deafening second before Willow seemed to snap out of it and replied meekly, “Hi Leanna…”

No one knew how to react – they all knew Spike had already broken up with her and she was not known for her good temper. Any moment now, they were expecting the bitch fest to explode.


“Oh c’mon guys! I don’t bite,” Leanna raised her brow as an amused smile lit her skanky face.


“H-how are you, Leanna?” Tara managed to stutter out. She wasn’t sure what to say or why Leanna was here. Usually, she came as a Spike accessory.


“I’m great and how are you, Tara?” Leanna answered back with false sincerity. It was kind of creepy.


“Huh?” Xander interjected, confused at her out-of-character reply. “Who are you and what have you done to Leanna?”


“What he means to say is, why are you here and why are you being nice when Spike dumped you the other day?” Anya demanded to know.


Leanna’s eyes briefly flashed with anger, but she quickly turned her expression into a mischievous smile a.k.a. a sluttish-looking smile. “Spike didn’t dump me. He said he wanted to take a break. By the end of the week, he’ll be running back to me. And it will probably lead to one of our many sessions of make-up sex.”


“Oh sweet mother of all that is good and pure! Please don’t say things like that!” Xander exclaimed as he shuddered at the thought. Everyone else cringed – except Anya of course.


“Whatever,” Leanna rolled her eyes. “Where’s Spike?”


“Actually,” Giles began with a pondering look, “that’s a good question.” He turned to the others.


“We don’t know either, do we?” Willow said as she turned to look at Tara, Xander and Anya.


They all shook their heads.


Leanna looked pissed off. Her grey eyes shone with anger. “I guess the better question is: where’s little miss Buffy??”


“Anddddd she’s back!” Xander commented sarcastically.


“W-we haven’t seen them today,” Tara dared to reply.


“Well, I guess I’ll just have to stay here and wait,” Leanna said as she began to pull out a chair at the table and sat down – to everyone’s dismay.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


She desperately needed to shower, like NOW. Ever since Spike left, she had been pacing around the crypt arguing with herself, with her emotions. She was confused, mad, weirded out, and again, confused.


But then, she heard a noise from above. Halting in her steps, she heard the door of the crypt open. A part of her prayed it was Spike, while the other hoped she didn’t have to see him and confront it all. Her thoughts were shattered by someone else’s voice calling out, “Buffy? You here?”


Knowing that wasn’t Spike’s voice, she panicked with her state of undress, and her crypt’s current state of chaos. Heart racing, she flew around the room grabbing her clothes, quickly flung a sweater over her head and practically jumped into a pair of pants. Bracing herself for a possible assailant, she grabbed the lamp on her dresser and posed herself with a spread-out stance.


“Buffy? You down here?”


Buffy was about to step forward and bash the lamp across the top of the descending figure on her ladder, when he suddenly turned around.


“AHHHHHH! It’s me! It’s me!! Don’t hit me!!” the guy screamed.


She stopped the lamp inches before it hit the stranger in the head. “Who are you!?!” Buffy demanded, skepticism in her eyes. One thing made her relax – he was human.


The guy clutched his chest as he breathed heavily from the near-attack. “Are you trying to kill me? What’s gotten into you??”


Buffy looked skeptic. She peered at the intruder, who she didn’t think she had ever seen before. Yet he was acting like he knew her, and he had a slight feeling of familiarity to him. He was a young looking guy, somewhere in his twenties she guessed.


“Do I know you?” Buffy asked with a puzzled look.


“Earth to Buffy! It’s Clem! What’s wrong with you?” he said as he peered at her curiously. “Uh, can you lose the lamp?”


‘Clem!?!? He doesn’t look like Clem!’ Buffy was confused. She should have guessed Clem was human, considering Harmony was too, but this guy??


(This is what he looks like, James Charles Leary, the actor who plays Clem http://www.imdb.com/gallery/hh/0495262/HH/0495262/headshot.JPG?path=pgallery&path_key=Leary,%20James%20Charles )


“But you have tight skin and…and you’re…normal looking!” Buffy both exclaimed and questioned.


“Uh…yeaaaa. Can you put the lamp down first?” Clem asked with a worried look.


“Oh! Yea, sorry…” Buffy put the lamp down, as she continued to be baffled.


“You feeling alright, Buffy?” Clem asked with a suspicious look. He took that moment to pause and look at her current state of disheveled hair and clothing, and the crypt for that matter. “WHOA! What happened here??”


Buffy, who had been starring at Clem with a ‘HUH?’ look, snapped out of it and saw what he was asking about.


Buffy’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth to explain. But Clem’s eyes reached the bed, and he darted his eyes from Buffy to the mess on the ground to the bed and back again. Before she could say anything, she saw Clem’s eyes widen in understanding. ‘Shit’ she thought.


“You and Spike had sex here!!” Clem exclaimed with an amused, but accusing tone.


---


Spike was mentally hitting himself in the head while he was walking home. He couldn’t believe he allowed himself to get THAT drunk and let all that happen. ‘Yea, just keep telling yourself that, you wanker.’


“Oh bugger,” Spike said out loud as he stopped in his steps, reaching the front of his house. He had forgotten about how he was going to explain to Dawn and mum. He couldn’t go in there looking and smelling like he did – like Buffy. Standing there thinking for a few minutes, he knew he was going to have to make a run for it up to the shower.


He exhaled an unnecessary breath, and started a full out run, whipping open the door, and dashing for the stairs. ‘Almost there!’ he thought to himself urgently.


“Spike!” Dawn exclaimed, as she popped out into view at the top of the stairs, effectively blocking his path and almost causing him to stumble backward down the steps.


“Where have you been? Mom and I have been wor-,” Dawn cut herself off. She made a puzzled face, and sniffed.


‘Oh shit’ Spike thought with his eyes closed.


Looking at her brother, Dawn saw his disheveled hair and her eyes widened at the unmistakable smell that reached her nose.


“OMG,” Dawn began.


“Nibblet…”


“EWWWWW,” Dawn said with a disgusted face. “You had sex! With Buffy! I can smell her all over you!!” She paused in her initial disgust, and a small smile lit her face, “And yay.”

---

Buffy went on the defensive, “What? No, No - No sex!”


“Buffy, it’s so obvious! Look around you! Look at you! Oh wow, I guess I should have seen it coming, but I never knew you guys would get over yourselves!” Clem said with an amazed voice.


“No, it’s not what you think!” She shook her head adamantly.


Clem rolled his eyes, “It’s not like you didn’t want to, what with you in love with him and everything.”


“No love! I don’t love Spike!” Buffy yelled with a slight whine at the end.


“Oh you’re back to pretending you hate him again…” Clem said as he sighed.


“I’m not pretending, I swear! It was all an accident!” Buffy defended with denial face.


“Uh-huh sureeeeee. Then why did you sleep with him? Let’s hear it, just for the heck of it.” He crossed his arms and looked at her with a challenging look.


---


“Dawn, it’s not what you think!”


Dawn gave Spike a disbelieving look. “Uh….huh…What I think is that you two finally had sex because you could no longer contain your pent up sexual frustrations for each other.” She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow at him.


“…”


Well, he really couldn’t contest with that.


“Exactly,” Dawn said with a satisfied smirk.


Spike sighed, “No, it was-…We were drunk!”


With an indifferent look, she asked, “And that is different from other nights….how?”


“Very cheeky, nibblet.”


“Well?”


“Well, I got caught up in the moment. This guy just pissed me off, and I saved her from him. Post-saving madness, I’m telling you!” Spike replied in a very uncharacteristic rant.


“Once again, and that is different how? Spike, you save Buffy from something or another like every week and have been doing so for the past few years. When are you going to realize what that means?”


---


“Well?” Clem asked, “What’s the story?”


“It was an accident - Last night we got drunk and…and I wasn’t thinking clearly and he gave me a flower and he saved me from that ugly guy and then next thing I know we were kissing! It’s not my fault – I swear! He’s a stupid vampire for saving me!” Buffy finished with childish emphasis.


“Stupid, yes,” Clem said with a roll of his eyes. “But you know he saves you all the time – has been for the past few years now – how is that your excuse for sleeping with him accidentally?” Clem said the last word with finger air quotes.


Buffy stood there stunned. She hadn’t expected to hear that Spike had been saving her ass for the past few years. She had somehow assumed that before she landed in this crazy place, Spike was a total bastard to her -judging from his initial slamming-of-door-in-face the first night she got here.


‘Even here, he keeps looking out for me’ Buffy thought, as she felt a tightening of her stomach at the mushy thought.


“Why don’t you two just be official already?” Clem asked.


Buffy’s eyes shot up to his at his question. “What makes you think I want a relationship with him?” Buffy answered defensively. And a flicker of sadness crossed her face, as she remembered what world she was in, “…Or that he would want one with me?”


“Because of the way you two look at each other. And now the apparently long night of sex you guys had…,” Clem replied as he looked around the room.


---


“It means that it’s not right to let her die when she can’t hurt anyone,” Spike replied evenly.


“If I have to hear that one more time, I’m going to bleach your hair blue while you’re sleeping,” Dawn said curtly.


She threw her hands up in frustration at Spike’s denial. “Ugh! You make me want to kick you! Just go out with her already!”


Spike shook his head, “It’s wrong...” As he uttered these words, his mind drifted to a memory. But the memory that flashed through his mind wasn’t of Buffy – it was the image of Drusilla killing a child, and how he hid the truth about it. Subconsciously, he had linked Drusilla to Buffy because they were both humans, which somehow made being with Buffy another mistake he couldn’t afford to make.


“But I don’t know anymore...,” he trailed off, thinking about the way he had felt right before he woke up with Buffy in his arms. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone,” Spike said with a serious look.


“Whatever,” Dawn rolled her eyes.


“Dawn,” Spike pushed.


“Ok fine. I promise,” Dawn said with a sour expression. “You better shower now because mom will be home any minute. And in the shower you should come up with your story for why you didn’t come home…”


He relaxed, and moved to go up the stairs to the shower, messing up Dawn’s hair in a sign of playful thanks.


“Hey! I just straightened it!”


---


“I don’t know,” Buffy said, sitting on the edge of the bed and putting her hands in her face. “I don’t know what’s going on with anything around here. I’m like 40 kinds of confused…”


Clem looked at her sympathetically, but didn’t say anything.


Buffy realized something that snapped her out of her pity party. “Hey Clem,” Buffy started, “Why are you my friend if you’re human?? Aren’t I like some kind of backstabber to you people? Fighting with vampires and all that? Or did you not know that and now you are going to try to kill me? Oh wait, you know Spike is a vampire though…That’s weird…OK sorry, rant over,” Buffy finished as she waited for an answer.


“You know, there were some rumors going around about you having amnesia, but I didn’t really think much about it until now,” Clem looked at her curiously before continuing. “I’m not the violent type …I got a wife and a new-born baby at home. You can do whatever you want, Buffy. We’ve been good friends for a while and you’ve always protected my family, so I don’t question it. I just came over to check up on you since I haven’t seen you come around in a while. But I can see you’ve been busy,” Clem said with a smile.


Buffy looked sheepish. “Uh yea...thanks for checking up on me, but I kind of REALLY need a shower, so do you mind if we…” Buffy didn’t have to finish.


“Sure thing. I’ll talk to you soon.” Clem smiled and then left her alone.


‘Now to that shower. A cold, cold one,’ Buffy thought with her eyes closed.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Back at the Magic Box, the others exchanged nervous glances. It was deafly quiet – especially since none of them had a heartbeat. It was an awkward moment, but Leanna just looked around with wide eyes, pretending not to notice their puzzled glances.


“Oh what’s this thing?” Leanna asked as she grabbed the tree-book on the table to examine it. She flipped through the pages quickly like some girly magazine and had a bored expression on her face. “Yawn.”


“It’s a book that Tara found today,” Giles replied.

“Oh yea, I forgot for a second that you guys are complete nerds.” Leanna stood up and tossed her hair back. “Well if Spike isn’t showing up, I’m leaving because you guys are making me fall asleep.” She began to step forward towards the door when Giles jumped in.


“Actually, Leanna,” he began, “I was wondering if you could do some extra patrolling this week. There’s been some extra human activity at the border of the north cemetery that has been causing trouble.”


“Yea sure, whatever,” Leanna replied with indifference.


“I appreciate it…thanks…,” Giles finished hesitantly. She usually wasn’t this agreeable. Something had to be wrong…


As she turned to leave, the door opened before she reached it, revealing Spike.


His eyes widened in surprise, as his body remained frozen in place – a true deer-caught-in-the-headlights look.


“Leanna!” Spike exclaimed with a surprised tone. “What are you doing here?” He glanced behind her to look at his friends, who had all slowly begun backing away from them. ‘I’m glad I took a shower first!’ Spike thought, relieved.


She looked at him with an uplifted brow and stepped forward, causing him to move to the right in reaction. He didn’t want a replay of the punch-the-Spike episode in the alley.


“Whoa now, Leanna,” Spike said as he put up his arms in protest.


“I’m not trying to hit you, Spike,” Leanna said in a sugar-coated voice, “I’m sorry about punching you before.”


“What?? You’re sorry?” Spike asked, bewildered. He looked at her suspiciously, “Who are you?”


Leanna’s patience broke. “I can be nice, ok!? God, can’t I say sorry and see how people are doing without you guys accusing me of being someone else!?”


‘There she is!’ Spike thought.


“So…what? You’re not mad at me anymore? You’re ok with breaking up?” Spike asked hesitantly.


“Yea sure, whatever. I know it won’t last,” Leanna said as she approached him. Giving him a coy smile, she whispered close to his face, “the making-up is the best part, remember?”


Spike mentally cringed, but showed no emotion on the outside. Why he was ever with her was now a mystery to him. So much had changed so soon. But one thing he knew for sure was that Leanna was out of the picture. And she needed to know it.


“Leanna…when I said taking a break, I meant breaking up,” Spike bluntly replied. More shuffling backwards was heard in the background.


The pissed off look on her face was only intensified by her freakish grey eyes. But instead of an expected explosion, Leanna lifted the corners of her mouth into a tight smirk, and challenged him. “You know I don’t lose, Spike,” Leanna said with a seductive tone, “ever.” ‘Even if it takes getting rid of my competition.’

She trailed one finger down his chest as her face came close to his, almost kissing him. But instead of a kiss, she pushed him back with her finger, shot him a challenging glare and stormed out of the Magic Box.

The gang let out collective sighs of relief, as Spike stood there looking thoroughly annoyed. ‘How did I stand that bint for so long? She’s completely nuts.’

Spike finally looked up at his friends. Xander looked like he was about to say something snarky. “Not a bloody word out of you, whelp.”

Xander closed his mouth and decided to let it go at the look on Spike’s face.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


On the other side of town, a train pulled into Sunnydale station. As a crowd of people began stepping off the train, she emerged slowly and looked around her with a dreamy expression.

"Look Ms. Edith, we're home."

Buffy walked toward the Magic Box, hoping Tara had some news. She couldn’t think about Spike right now, because whenever she did, it scared her. How could she let herself get so emotionally involved? ‘It’s Spike!’ she tried to yell at herself incredulously. ‘It’s just sex! Stop thinking about it!’


But her mind couldn’t help wandering to the feeling of waking up with his arms around her – his arms wrapped protectively around her waist, making her feel more safe than she had been in ages.


‘Ah no! Stop thinking Spike thoughts!’ Buffy yelled to herself, as she shook her head to rid the images.


When she finally willed herself to focus on the matter at hand, she opened the Magic Box door and started to walk in.


“Hi-,” Buffy cut herself off at the sight of Spike, leaning against the counter. He looked up and their eyes locked, both tensing at each other’s presence.


A suspicious look flashed across Tara’s face as she observed the exchange of silence. Seconds ticked by…


“Hey Buffy,” Tara interrupted their moment and Buffy jerked her head up, breaking eye contact with him.


“H-hey Tara,” Buffy replied, trying to focus on her and not the blonde to her side. “Hey guys.”


“Hey,” the others replied.


“Buffy, I found something yesterday,” Tara began. “It’s not much, but it’s something…”


“Really??” Buffy couldn’t help but sound extremely hopeful. She darted her eyes around to look at the others, wondering if Tara let them in on what she was looking for.


“Oh y-yea…I told them,” Tara gave her an apologetic look. She quickly added, “But I had to b-because…well…look at this book…” She showed Buffy the wooden book.


Spike walked over to the table and looked at the book curiously. “What the hell is it?” he said with a furrowed brow.


“Where did it come from? I didn’t see that one when we were all researching,” Buffy asked, confused.


“Well, no one knows where it came from. It just dropped down from the bookcase. A-and when I was looking at it, the pages flipped to this one,” Tara pointed to the section.


Buffy and Spike both reached out to grab the book from Tara at the same time. As their hands brushed against each other’s, a warm tingle radiated from the contact and they locked eyes. Jerking their hands away quickly, they dropped the book with a thud, causing the rest of the gang to look up at them.


The others looked confused at the fumbling blondes, who were looking slightly uncomfortable as they avoided each other’s gaze. Buffy and Spike looked up to see them starring.


“Something wrong?” Tara asked, amused at their apparent tension. She had a feeling they were hiding something.


“What? Oh, it was just kind of heavy, that’s all,” Buffy replied nervously. Spike was picking up the book and trying to appear composed. How a little innocent touch like that could bring back a graphic flash of memories was lost to him.


“You guys are acting funny…What gives?” Xander eyed them suspiciously.


“Nothing,” they both replied at the same time. Anya, Tara, and Willow all gave each other a look. Xander looked back and forth between this brief exchange, and his expression turned into a puzzled frown.


Giles caught the exchange as well, and he looked up at Buffy and Spike, realizing how much he hadn’t been paying attention these past few days. ‘Did something happen? They’re acting very peculiar…’ He kept quiet though, cleaning his glasses as he thought to himself.


Buffy and Spike grew nervous at all the looks being exchanged at their expense. Resorting to snarky, Spike said, “What? You guys act like you’ve never seen mutual hate before.” He finished with a roll of his eyes.


The words stung more than Buffy expected. She knew they were playing the avoid-y game and that’s how she liked it, but her stomach clenched at his words. Whether it was an act or the truth, it brought back all of her insecurities about their sex-capades. Anger began to boil inside her at thought of being used. ‘That’s all it was, sex.’ It was both what she had been telling herself, and a disappointing feeling at the same time.


“Yea, you guys should be use to it by now,” Buffy replied coldly. She moved closer to Spike to look at the book, but avoided eye contact, forcing herself not to be affected by their closeness.


He looked down at her by his side, and felt the anger coming off of her. He suddenly felt like a total wanker. He hadn’t thought before he opened his mouth. She was hurt. Pushing away his thoughts, he forced himself to focus on the book.


They read the description to themselves. Buffy scrunched up for forehead in thought, anger suddenly forgotten. “That’s it?” Buffy said with obvious disappointment on her face.


“Well, yea…,” Tara replied sympathetically, “but the book literally flipped to this page on its own. That’s gotta mean it’s i-important, right?...”


“I guess…,” Buffy said with a sad look, stepping away from Spike and the book. Spike frowned at her hasty move to get away from him, and why he cared that much anyway.


“Maybe, we can find out more about this gem somewhere else,” Tara said in a hopeful voice.


The front door opened abruptly, and Leanna came waltzing in, causing a round of silent groans.


Leanna’s fury rose at the sight of Buffy, but she quickly suppressed it and put on a sarcastic smile. “Oh hi Buffy,” Leanna said with scheming eyes and false cheerfulness.


“Huh?” Buffy asked with a dumbfounded expression. She was guessing Leanna didn’t know anything about her and Spike, but nevertheless, the nice greeting was chillingly creepy.


“I’m glad you’re here,” Leanna continued with fake conviction.


“I’m scared,” Xander commented in a nervous voice.


“Um…actually, me too,” Spike replied slowly, as he took a cautious step back.


“YOU are glad I’M here?” Buffy asked with complete confusion.


“Well of course! After our little talk the other day, I thought we were friends now?” Leanna asked innocently.


“What talk?” Buffy and Spike simultaneously questioned. They really had to stop doing that.


Leanna walked up to Buffy, and to the shock of many, took Buffy’s hands in hers like a comforting friend and said, “Listen Buffy. I know you didn’t want me to say anything about what you told me, but I really have to.” She dropped Buffy’s hands and stepped back with a fake ‘sorry’ smile.


Buffy look at her hands like they had been burned and deformed. “What the heck are you talking about?” Buffy asked quickly.


Leanna ignored her and turned to Spike. “Spike, Buffy told me everything.”


“What are you talking about? Told you what?” Spike asked.


“I know about Drusilla,” Leanna said with a calculating look.


Spike’s eyes widened. He cautiously asked, “What do you mean?”


“I’m talking about the part where you failed to tell the rest of us that Drusilla killed a child and you made her leave to cover it up.”


“What!?!?” the others exclaimed. A flurry of questions came at him from all directions. Buffy stood frozen, wondering how Leanna knew and realizing what she was plotting with her false act of friendship.


“Spike, what the hell is she talking about?” Xander exclaimed.


“I thought Drusilla left on her own?” Giles asked.


Panic surfaced in him. The thing he had been hiding for so long was suddenly thrown out into the open. Realizing he only told Buffy, he turned to her and threw her an accusing and murderous glare.


Buffy saw the rage in his eyes, and the hurt behind them. He didn’t believe that she would actually tell Leanna, did he? “Spike, I didn’t tell her anything, I swear! I don’t even know what ‘talk’ she’s talking about! We don’t even get along - you know that!”


“I didn’t tell anyone else, slayer,” Spike said with malice.


“So it’s true??” Willow asked, perplexed.


“Why didn’t you ever tell us?” Anya badgered.


“You are the biggest scheming bitch I have ever met in my whole life,” Buffy said with pure contempt as she stared Leanna down. “I don’t know how you found out, but I sure as hell wouldn’t tell YOU anything, you slut.”


Spike ignored the stare down between Leanna and Buffy. Instead, he was focused on the gang, who were waiting impatiently for answers.


He sighed in frustration. He was trapped and there was no way out of it. “…Drusilla didn’t leave because she wanted to, like I told you guys...” He looked down in shame, “She was going crazy and getting violent. She…she killed a child before I could stop her.”


He clenched his jaw as continued, “I know how wrong it was…but I couldn’t bring myself to kill her, so I let her go…” Pain was evident on his face. The memory was distant and unattached, but the hurt expressions on the faces of his friends were not.


“How could you let her get away with that?” Giles accused.


“And how could you not tell us and tell Buffy!?” Xander exclaimed.


“I don’t know myself,” Spike turned to Buffy with a cold expression.


“I didn’t tell Leanna!” Buffy protested. “Can’t you see she’s trying to make it seem like I did!?”


“Actually, why did you just tell us this, Leanna?” Tara asked.


Leanna gave Tara a ‘glad-you-asked’ expression, before she turned back to Spike. “Because she’s back in town. I just saw her.”


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Dawn was at home making herself a snack before mom came home to make dinner. ‘Peanut butter is oh so yummy. Tastes good with blood.’ She hummed to herself as she put pure peanut butter in a bowl and warmed up some blood in a mug.


The doorbell rang and she looked at her peanut-y fingers with a frown. She quickly licked each finger and wiped her hands on her jeans. “Coming!” Dawn yelled loudly at the door.


Hoping it was Buffy, she reached for the knob and flung the door open. Instead of a blonde human, she was met with a brunette one. Drusilla.


“Drusilla,” Dawn both said and questioned with a surprised look.


“Hello little one,” she began. Drusilla looked amazingly calm and composed, but it gave Dawn a very eerie feeling that something was off. Drusilla had always looked a little frightening, with her jet black hair and dark eyes contrasting her pale skin. Her beauty was chilling, like it should be feared, not appreciated.


“I’ve come back to my prince. He’s been very, very naughty. He will have no cakes today, no he won’t.”


Dawn looked at her like she was insane. Nothing had changed apparently. “Spike’s not here, Drusilla.”


“I will wait for him. Invite me in, please,” Drusilla said with a polite look.


Dawn hesitated. She knew Drusilla was Spike’s ex, but the idea of being in the house alone with her gave her an uneasy feeling.


“Maybe you should come back later,” Dawn began cautiously.


Drusilla began to whimper. She held her doll up for Dawn to see. “Miss Edith is hungry. Can we have something yummy to eat?”


Dawn was apprehensive, but she thought Spike might be mad at her if she turned Drusilla away. Reluctantly, Dawn said, “Ok…I guess you could come in and get something to eat.”


Drusilla’s eyes glistened at the invitation, as she stepped in the barrier-less door.


Dawn let Drusilla follow her into the kitchen. “Why did you come back, Drusilla?”


“I’ve come to make everything right again. I won’t let the evil birdie ruin the tea party,” she said with a hint of anger.


“What?” Dawn scrunched up her face. She always had the hardest time deciphering Dru’s gibberish.


“The slayer. She floats around taunting me, taunting my poor Spike.” Her eyes turned pitch black as her light mood came to an abrupt end.


But Dawn wasn’t looking. She was pulling non-blood things of the fridge for Drusilla, with her head lowered. “Oh you mean Buffy. Well you have been gone a long time, Drusilla.” Dawn stood up with her arms full of random food items and she plopped it down on the counter. When Dawn looked up at Drusilla, she froze at the look on her face.


She looked downright scary. Her eyes looked stormy black. Drusilla said, “Where is my Spike? Tell Miss Edith.”


Dawn backed up a step as Drusilla came closer. “I-I don’t know,” she faltered as she inched away.


“Tsk tsk. Tell me or I shall be very cross with you,” Drusilla said as she stepped towards Dawn slowly.


“Drusilla, maybe you should come back later…,” Dawn said nervously.


In a flash of a moment, Drusilla slashed her sharp nails down against Dawn’s cheek. At the same time, Dawn vamped and cried out in pain, as she felt the blood trickle on her face. She clutched her cheek at the burning pain, but when she opened her eyes in fear, Drusilla wasn’t there. Scared, she held her cheek and looked to both sides. The door was open – Drusilla was already gone.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ‘How could she come back?? She was never supposed to come back…’


“If she’s back, then we need to find her. She’s dangerous,” Giles said.


Spike was snapped out of his thoughts. “Right. Let’s split up, we’ll cover more ground.”


“Leanna, where did you see her?” Giles asked.


“She was wandering around near the Bronze about an hour ago,” Leanna replied.


The others grabbed a few basic weapons, just in case, and started to file out. Spike avoided looking at Buffy. She felt an urgent need to defend herself still.


“Spike,” Buffy began.


“Save it,” Spike replied, and he walked out, leaving Leanna and Buffy in the room.


Buffy was about to follow, but she paused and turned around, staring at Leanna with a murderous look. “If I could, I would kick your ass right now until you begged me to stake you.”


Leanna stalked up to her until they were face to face. “But you can’t, can you?” she said with a smug look. Her expression turned deadly, and her grey eyes seemed to darken. “You can’t do anything about it.”


Fury bubbled up inside Buffy. Her natural instinct said to start whooping some ass, but she knew what the chip felt like, and it would only work against her pride if she tried anything. Instead, she forced herself to push the rage aside, turn around, and walk out without responding. She’d have to find some way to kick the bitch’s ass, but right now, she needed to talk to Spike.


Leanna watched her go with a gleeful look on her face. She had expected Spike to start defending the stupid tramp, but it was like he was just looking for a reason to be mad at Buffy. With a content sigh, she turned around and walked over to the table. Now that they were all gone, she finally had her chance.


Looking at the wooden book, she ran her fingers along the cover before opening it and shuffling through it once again. Finding the page she wanted, she quickly ripped it out of the book. Folding it up in a small square, she stuffed it down her shirt, closed the book, and turned to go pretend she was looking for Drusilla.



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A/N: Review please!!

(Previously: Everyone leaves to go find Drusilla, but Buffy wants to confront Spike first.)


“Spike, wait!” Buffy cried, both in desperation and annoyance that he fell for Leanna’s obvious scheme.


Spike ignored her and kept striding forward.


“What the hell is wrong with you!?” Buffy screamed as she stopped running after him.


He halted in his steps and turned around. “What!? What’s wrong with ME??” Spike yelled incredulously.


“Yea, you! Do you actually believe Leanna??” Buffy’s expression showed her anger and disbelief.


“How else could she have known?” Spike asked with calm malice.


Buffy took a deep breath before she started to reply.


“I don’t know, ok? But I didn’t tell her! What? Did you just think we all of a sudden became best gal pals and shared our deepest, darkest secrets while braiding each other’s hair??*” Buffy asked in an exasperated tone.


Spike clenched his jaw in frustration, but said nothing to that.


Buffy waited for a response, but nothing came. She was furious that he didn’t even give her a chance in there. Mostly, she was hurt. This felt like a stab in the back when she thought about all they had gone through together recently. And she hated that she cared. Suddenly, it dawned on her.


Her eyes lit up with anger. “You’re mad because you’re a wuss.”


Spike’s eyes widened indignantly. “Are you bloody daft? What are you talking about?”


Buffy stuck out her chin and stepped forward challengingly. “The way I see it, there’s two possibilities. One, you’re being a jerk because then you don’t have to deal with what happened,” she gestured between the two of them, “or two, you’re being a jerk because you know you were wrong to let her go and keep it a secret, and you know I wouldn’t tell Leanna, of all people, but it’s just sooooo much easier blaming it on Buffy, huh? So which is it, Spike? Or is it both?”


He hated when she was right about something. Deep down, beneath this sudden rage, he knew she didn’t tell Leanna a damn thing. But this flashback to his past was overwhelming. He took a look at her smug expression and went into stubborn mode.


“Look, you’re bloody daft. I’m not a wuss. I’m not avoiding anything,” Spike replied defensively.


“Right,” Buffy nodded, “because there’s nothing to avoid, right?” She gave him a hurt look. “Just mutual hate.”


Spike winced at hearing his own stupid words repeated back to him. He didn’t mean it, but it sounded awful anyway. “Buffy, you know I didn’t mean it,” Spike said in a slightly softer tone.


“What I know, is that we got drunk and had sex, and now I realize you were using me,” Buffy managed to get out in an angry and trembling voice.


Spike opened his mouth, but Buffy cut him off.


“Save it.,” she mimicked hatefully. She glared at him and added, “You told me that you trusted me to keep a secret. And guess what? I actually did. But I also trusted you to believe me. I’m the one that should be pissed off at YOU.”


He saw that she was absolutely furious, and he moved forward to try and reassure her, but she jerked back and looked at him with murderous eyes. He felt a stab in his gut at her move, but he needed to get back to business and find Dru – he couldn’t spend more time arguing what seemed to be an endless fight.


“Look Buffy, I don’t have time for this right now. I have to go find Dru,” Spike said with apologetic eyes.


“Yea, I understand,” Buffy said in a genuine tone. But then she added sarcastically, “Don’t worry, the other night will be our new little secret.” Without looking at him in the eyes, she turned and stormed off. Her anger resulted in brimming tears and she furiously wiped them away with the back of her hands.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


“I don’t see any crazies out here,” Xander commented to the others.


“Xander,” Willow gave him the stern face, “Spike could hear you.”


“What?? He’s not even with us,” Xander cried defensively. “And am I wrong?”


“No, honey. You’re just being a big jackass,” Anya replied.


“Ok, he’s the one that kept a secret from us for all these years. Why am I the jackass?” Xander said defensively.


“Look, Xander. I’m not saying that Spike was right to do that, or that I’m not hurt by it, but your comments – reeeeally not helping right now,” Willow finished.


“How about you people finish your quarrel later?” Giles inquired sternly. “We have a dangerous human to look for.”


“Your right, Giles,” Tara nodded.


“Sorry,” both Xander and Willow replied meekly.


“Let’s keep looking,” Giles said.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Leanna was humming as she strolled down the street. Things were going perfectly.


She was passing Spike’s house and she stopped. She smelled blood. Curiously, she walked up to the door. Opening the door without knocking, she stepped inside and peered around. Everything seemed quiet.


Suddenly, Dawn jumped out of nowhere with a pot in her hand and yelled, “Stay back!” Realizing, it wasn’t Drusilla, Dawn relaxed. “Oh, it’s just you.”


“Who are you trying to scare with a pot?” Leanna raised an eyebrow in question, unfazed by the ambush. She paused when she saw Dawn’s cheek. “Where did you get that?”


“Drusilla randomly dropped by and then she went all crazy and creepy on me and slashed me with her nails and I tried to call Spike and the others, but no one was picking up at the Magic Box, and-,” Dawn tried to say in one breath.


“Whoa!” Leanna interjected. “Stop.” She put her hand over Dawn’s mouth. She was highly annoyed by Dawn’s continuous rambling, but then she realized this was a good opportunity for her.


She mentally briefed herself, and then turned on the act. “Oh I’m just so glad you’re ok!” she said with concern. She pulled Dawn into a hug and awkwardly patted her back while rolling her eyes. Dawn stood frozen in this really creepy moment.


Leanna pulled Dawn back by the shoulders and held her at arms length. “Do you want me to take care of your cut?” she said in a patronizing voice.


“Um…no, that’s ok,” Dawn replied slowly. “Is there something wrong with you? You’re acting very weird.”


“Oh, I’m just upset that Drusilla got to you before we could find her! But I’m here now, you’ll be safe,” Leanna smiled widely.


Dawn looked confused, but she managed to catch what Leanna said. “Wait, you know she’s back?”


“Yea, I just told the rest of them. That’s why they didn’t pick up the phone. They’re all out looking for her,” Leanna replied quickly, her expression turning into one of disinterest.


Leanna clapped her hands together once. “Ok! You stay up in your room and lock the door – I will go and tell Spike what happened. Got it, little Dawn?”


Dawn was going to protest against Leanna’s patronizing tone, but the thought of staying in her room with the doors locked was rather appealing at the moment. So she just nodded and started to walk up the stairs. Turning around, she looked at Leanna, who gave her a shooing motion to keep going up. When she got to her room, she heard the door slam downstairs. ‘That is so bizarre.’ She shuddered.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Spike had searched all over the area around the Bronze and nothing. He didn’t even catch her scent at all. He was making his way over to the cemetery, when he saw his friends were about to do the same thing.


“Hey Spike, did you see anything?” Willow asked.


He sighed. “No, nothing,” Spike said. He looked very troubled. Tara figured it was the Drusilla issue, but then she noticed something.


“Where’s Buffy?” Tara asked.


“Oh…uh,” Spike began, “I dunno. Let’s keep looking.”


They noticed the weird mood, but no one commented – they just looked at him peculiarly.


They were about to head as a group to search the cemetery, but they were stopped by Leanna’s sudden appearance. She looked rather frantic.


“Spike!” Leanna cried.


“What?? What happened?” Spike asked with concern.


“It’s Dawn,” she said dramatically as she put on a troubled face. “Drusilla got to her and slashed her across the face!”


Spike’s eyes widened in panic. “Is she ok??”


“Oh no,” both of the Wiccas whispered. Everyone was horrified that they hadn’t thought to protect Dawn first. Actually, they didn’t even think Dawn mattered to Drusilla.


“Yea, I made sure she was ok,” Leanna gave a winning smile before turning serious, “you guys should head on over in that direction. I told Dawn to stay in her room and lock the door, but Drusilla was probably there not too long ago.”


She didn’t need to tell them twice – they started running in that direction. Leanna smiled to herself. She had perfect timing. Now they would be out of the way and Buffy would be on her own. She really hoped that Drusilla would succeed in killing her.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------


By the time she got to her crypt, she was completely distraught. She wanted to leave and go home already. All of the emotions she had here felt so real – especially the helplessness. She wasn’t in control here – she couldn’t defend herself, she couldn’t wipe that smug look off Leanna’s face, and she couldn’t just punch Spike away from her life. Not only that, but everything she had was his: her family, her friends, her power.


And somehow, she was letting herself care. Back home, she didn’t even give Spike the time of day. Now, it was like everything came down to him. ‘How??’ she thought to herself desperately as she plopped down on her bed face forward. She realized that she depended on him and trusted him, more so than was possible back home. It was like he was a completely different person here, yet somehow the same. ‘Is it because it’s ok to care here? Because he’s good?’ Buffy shook off the thoughts quickly, ‘None of it is real anyway. I’m only fooling myself…’


She banged her head repeatedly against her pillow in frustration. All she ever thought about since that day was the way he felt, they way they felt together. At first, it was just consuming passion, then somewhere along the line, it changed. But between ‘the morning after’ and today’s ordeal, she hated how vulnerable she had become. ‘They always leave me,’ Buffy thought to herself as she closed her eyes at the memories. Her anger rose – she felt like she was, once again, a one night stand. It was bad enough that he went out with Leanna, but now he was running back to that crazy psycho. ‘Why should I care about that vapid ho??’ She had a distressed pout – being insanely jealous of Drusilla was pissing her off.


She froze when she heard a clang upstairs. A part of her hoped it was Spike, but she knew he was out looking for Drusilla. A happy thought came to her, ‘Maybe it’s Clem!’ From the impression she got last time, he was the perfect person to talk to, about anything. And apparently, she told him everything. Buffy figured he was her only real friend here.


Getting up quickly, she wiped at her tear-stained face and walked toward the ladder. When she reached the top of the ladder, she called out, “Clem? Is that you?”


Bringing herself to her feet, she looked around, but no Clem. The crypt door was open. She slowly walked around the crypt, trying to sense someone. All she saw was a knocked over candlestick. Looking toward the open door, she stepped forward suspiciously.


Stepping out into the cold night air, she cautiously scanned the area for danger. She remained silent, listening for any movements. All of a sudden, an arm came around her neck, choking her firmly from behind.


She gasped for air as her hands gripped the arm in front of her. Then the assailant whispered into her ear, “Someone tells me you’ve been stealing my dolls.”


Buffy recognized the voice and quickly jabbed her elbow backwards, hitting Drusilla in the gut and effectively releasing the hold. She stepped a few feet away and turned to face Drusilla. Anger bubbled up inside her as she gasped for breath and shot Drusilla a murderous look.


“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” Buffy demanded. ‘I can so kick her ass! She’s not a vampire here.’


“I’ve come back to take what’s mine,” Drusilla said with piercing eyes.


“What the hell are you blabbering about?” Buffy yelled. “Your-,” she cut herself off when she realized that Drusilla meant Spike.


“My Spike has been veryyyy bad,” Drusilla said. “And YOU!,” Drusilla jabbed two fingers in the air in a catlike manner, “have crashed my tea party.”


Buffy looked at her like she was insane because, well, she was. “Riiiiight,” Buffy said with her arms crossed. “Why don’t you just go find Spike then? I’m sure you guys can live happily ever after in a mental ward,” she added bitterly.


“No, not yet,” Drusilla started as she stepped toward Buffy, “Mommy wants to play.”


Buffy pretended to think about it really hard. “Hmmm try to convince you to leave, or wipe the floor with you?” She stopped and looked at Drusilla with a smile. “My pent up frustration tells me to kick your ass.”


She ran forward and jumped into the air, kicking Drusilla in the head before her feet touched the ground. Drusilla’s head jerked back from the blow, and she growled in anger. She lunged forward and backhanded Buffy across the face, making her stumble.


Buffy quickly regained her footing and threw a hard uppercut to Drusilla’s jaw, followed by a punch to the stomach. As Drusilla keeled over, Buffy grabbed her and threw her forward into a tombstone. Taking a breath, she said, “You messed with me on the wrong day.”


She ran forward as Drusilla was getting up to her feet, leaped onto a tombstone and smashed her fist into Drusilla’s face as she came flying down. Feeling the adrenaline pumping through her body at finally getting some violence in, Buffy did a spinning kick that had Drusilla reeling.


“Oh, it’s good to be back,” Buffy commented happily. She moved forward, but Drusilla quickly got up and lunged at her, scratching her face with her nails.


“Ow!” Buffy yelled as she clutched her face. Fury didn’t begin to describe it. She moved forward and did a roundhouse kick before saying, “DON’T mess with the face!”


She let out a series of punches, still in control of the fight. Drusilla could do very little to stand the slayer’s blows, except the occasional backhand. As Buffy gave her one last hard punch to the face, Drusilla fell to the floor in pain.


Drusilla clutched her stomach as she moaned crazily. Before Buffy knew it, Drusilla whipped out her leg and sent Buffy off her feet, onto the ground on her back. Wincing at the pain of her head hitting the ground, Buffy remained immobile for a mere second, giving Drusilla the chance to straddle her hips and choke her with one hand.


Buffy was about to force Drusilla off of her, but in a flash of a second, Drusilla reached behind her back, pulled out a knive, and stabbed Buffy in the gut.


----------


Worriedly, Spike and the others had raced to the Revello house.


“Dawn!!” Spike yelled as he barged into the house, followed by the others. “Dawn!! Where are you!??”


Dawn appeared and ran down the stairs, flinging herself into Spike’s arms. She pulled back from the tight hug to exclaim, “Look at my face!” she pointed at her slashed cheek.


Spike clenched his jaw in anger at the sight. “Why the hell did you invite her in!?”


Dawn looked confused. “What?? How the heck was I supposed to know she was crazy??”


Spike’s anger melted as he realized she couldn’t have known. He hadn’t told any of them. ‘It’s all my bloody fault,’ he thought guiltily. The others looked at him accusingly.


“I’m sorry, Nibblet,” Spike said with a sigh as he pulled her in for another tight hug. “I should’ve warned you…”


“I’m ok, Spike,” Dawn assured him as they pulled back.


“I’m glad you’re ok, Dawnie. We’re sorry we didn’t come sooner,” Willow said.


“Yea, I didn’t even think she would come here,” Spike commented as he ran his hands through his hair. “I mean, of all the people she would go after-,” he cut himself off. Eyes widening, he looked up at the rest of the gang, who had puzzled looks.


He turned to Dawn. “Dawn, tell me what Drusilla said to you.”


Dawn looked confused at his urgency, but obliged anyway. “Well, she said she was hungry and she wanted to wait for you. I’m not sure I remember everything, but she said weird things like how ‘you’ve been naughty’,” Dawn said with a raised brow.


Spike’s eyes widened and darted around, seeing the gang give him a questionable look.


Dawn rolled her eyes and kept the smirk to herself. She continued, “She said stuff about how she came to ‘make everything right again’ and something about Buffy ruining her tea party. All of a sudden, she got all psycho and dark on me and then she slashed me. Do you know what she wanted?”


Dru was always a little psychic. She must have sensed something had happened between him and Buffy, which meant that Buffy was in trouble.


Spike felt a panic jolt through his body. “Dawn, go back to your room. Everyone else, let’s head to the cemetery.”


No one had to ask. They knew why they were going there.


When they finally got there, it was too late.


---------


Buffy’s breath caught in her throat, as an overwhelming pain shot through her entire body. With shocked eyes, she looked down at the knife stuck in her stomach. Drusilla yanked out the knife, causing Buffy to cry out in the second wave of pain.


“A little birdie told me this would be useful,” Drusilla whispered as she leaned forward towards Buffy’s head.


As Drusilla was about to plunge the bloody knife down again, Buffy caught her hand and flung Drusilla off of her. The knife dropped to the ground, and Buffy clutched her painfully bleeding wound. She struggled to get up, the pain almost unbearable. Crying out as her movements increased the burning sensation, she got to her feet.


Drusilla advanced for the knife, but Buffy quickly kicked her back, bending over from the pain afterwards. Her hand was covered in blood and she was beginning to feel lightheaded.


Drusilla looked upset and gave a little growl. “I think now I shall torture you before I kill you.”


“Buffy!!” Spike yelled frantically as he saw them.


Buffy shot her head up at the sound of his voice, and Drusilla took this moment of distraction to charge towards her, hoping to grab the knife that was near Buffy. But Buffy turned back around to see Drusilla rushing her, quickly grabbed the knife on the ground, and plunged it into Drusilla’s chest with her last bit of strength.


Both of them widened their eyes in shock. Drusilla starred down at the knife in her chest, as Buffy realized what she had just done.


Spike froze.


Drusilla collapsed and Buffy fell to the ground in shock. She felt lightheaded, but still felt remorse for killing Dru, who was human. Even though it was Dru, the act of driving a knife into human flesh was sickening.


Spike and the others ran to them, and he halted a few feet away from both women as he starred at all the blood. As she clutched her stomach in pain, Buffy looked up at his blurry form. Before she fell into unconsciousness, she managed to whisper softly, “I’m sorry…”


Tara and Willow ran to Buffy’s side to check on her. Xander, who was kneeling down and checking Drusilla, said, “Spike, Drusilla’s dead.”


His expression was unreadable, as he turned to look down at his former lover’s form. They waited for his next move – waiting for the anger and sorrow at Drusilla’s death.


He turned to Willow and Tara in question. Tara replied, “She’s alive. Her heart beat is weak though, and she’s still bleeding a lot.”


Without hesitating, he stepped over to Buffy’s unconscious body and kneeled down. Tara and Willow gave him space. Worry was written all over his face as he took in her bloody wound. Gingerly snaking his hand under her neck and hooking her legs, he picked up her body. Holding her close to his chest, he was about to walk away.


“What are you doing?” Xander asked, confused.


“What the hell does it look like I’m doing??” Spike asked with anger.


“But-,” Xander stopped himself when he saw the glare Spike gave him.


“Not a bloody word, Harris,” Spike gritted out.


When Spike was satisfied that Xander kept his mouth shut, he turned to Giles and demanded, “Call Wesley for me. Tell him to get his ass over to my house now, or I’ll come and rip out his throat.” Turning back to Buffy’s limp body in his arms, his angered expression melted into worry again. Then, he held her closer and walked away, leaving them all a little stunned.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A/N: Dru is out because I hate writing her – therefore, Leanna is staying (and I don’t fancy a ‘square’ love affair – wasn’t my intention). Anyway, you love reading about that hateful bitch and you know it! Review and rant!

“I don’t understand how this all happened,” Joyce said as she shook her head in disbelief. Everyone was sitting around her living room and she’d been repeating herself for the past 10 minutes. She turned to Dawn again, “Are you sure you’re ok, honey??”


“Mom, for the last time, I’m fine,” Dawn said in a reassuring voice, as she took her mom’s hand in a comforting gesture and gave it a squeeze. “I’m not the one we have to worry about…” Dawn’s worried look traveled over to the stairway.


“Don’t worry Dawnie. Wesley will help Buffy – she’ll be ok,” Willow said in a hopeful and reassuring tone, but her scrunched forehead showed her apprehension.


“They’ve been in there for nearly two hours now,” Anya commented impatiently. “She has slayer healing, right? How much longer is this going to take? The wait is unsettling!”


“Maybe we should all just leave,” Xander suggested. At annoyed looks he was getting from the rest of them, he jumped in, “Before you say anything, that’s not what I mean. I just mean that, maybe, we should give them some space. I don’t think that any of them are going to come out of Spike’s room and want to deal with us waiting here for answers.”


They stared at him in wonderment. That was probably the most considerate and non-spiteful thing he had said in a long time.


“What??” Xander asked in an offended tone. “I can be nice!”


Dawn rolled her eyes while the rest of them looked at him disbelievingly.


“And would this sudden consideration have anything to do with Spike threatening to ‘feed you to Leanna’ if you didn’t stop acting like a ‘ bloody wanker,’ as he put it?” Giles asked with an amused look.


Tara suppressed a smile and looked down. The others tried to hold back their laughs at the petrified look on Xander’s face when Spike had pushed him against the wall and threatened him.


“The bitch is scary, ok??” Xander exclaimed defensively. “And did you see Spike? I think I saw a vein pop in his forehead!” He crossed his arms and sulked at the deflating of his manhood.


He was right though. For the past two hours, Spike had been downright scary. He had practically bitten off the head of anyone who had spoken to him, including poor Wesley, who had made the poor choice of saying that the wound “didn’t look good.”


They looked up as they heard the door of Spike’s room open and close. They stood up and saw Wesley coming down the stairs with his bag of medical supplies, rubbing his neck and looking exhausted.


“How is she?” Dawn asked urgently.


He sighed. “Better. Her breathing is still weak, but it’s stable now. She lost a lot of blood, but I finally got the bleeding to stop. She also developed a really high fever. I gave her some medicine that should help,” Wesley replied.


“And how are you?” Giles asked, looking at Wesley rub his neck.


“Let’s just say I barely got out of there with my throat in tact,” Wesley answered. “I better get going before he comes down and demands that I stay here indefinitely.”


Everyone said their thank-you’s as he left. As Joyce shut the door, they all turned around to look at each other, wondering what to do next.


Joyce questioned apprehensively, “Shouldn’t one of us go up and check on them?”


They all quickly looked somewhere else, darting their eyes around, pretending to look at something on the walls.


------


Buffy’s breathing was reduced to a raspy whisper. Her distressed cries were replaced with the occasional whimper. The bandage wrapped around her stomach showed the red of her blood above her wound. Spike brought up the bed sheet to cover her bra-clad form, since they had to remove her bloody shirt to bandage her. She stirred and groaned slightly. Spike could tell she was uncomfortable - her skin was gleaming with sweaty perspiration.


With a frown, he moved to wring out the washcloth over the water-filled bowl, and brought it back to gently wipe Buffy’s face and neck. She let out a little sigh at the cool relief and drifted back into her quiet sleep.


Spike sat back down in the chair he had put next to his bed and buried his face in his hands. ‘It’s all my fault,’ he told himself pitifully. He felt like a stupid git. Why hadn’t he known that Dru would go straight for Buffy? And if he didn’t have that fight with Buffy earlier, she probably would have been with them the whole time.


All he knew for sure was that he had acted like a wanker. He didn’t know when, he didn’t know how, but somewhere along the way, he had started to fall for her - hard. And it had never been clearer to him than in the moment that he thought he lost her. The image of the knife piercing her stomach kept flashing into his mind, and it was as if he felt every stab in his own stomach.


A knock sounded from his bedroom door. Shooting his head up at the intrusion, he had an annoyed look. “Bugger off!”


“Spike, honey? It’s me,” Joyce’s voice could be heard muffled through the door. Reluctantly, he got up and went to answer the door.


Joyce waited patiently. When the door swung open suddenly, a very distraught and disheveled-looking Spike appeared. His hair was ruffled and he looked exhausted.


“Spike, is Buffy ok?” Joyce asked in a concerned voice.


He clenched his jaw and avoided her gaze, not answering her.


She saw the anguish in his eyes, and decided to quickly move on. “Do you need me to do anything? Bring you anything?”


“No, mum, thanks,” Spike said as he ran his hands through his hair.


“Do you want me to watch her while you get some sleep?” Joyce offered.


“No. Not sleeping.”


Joyce was about to argue, but she closed her mouth and decided against it. “Alright then. Call me if you need anything,” she said as she gave him a small smile and turned to go back downstairs.


He shut the door and went to sit on the edge of the bed next to Buffy. He sat there watching her, waiting to do something to help – anything. She stirred in her sleep and tried to roll over, eliciting a groan at the pain that shot through her. Spike quickly caught her by the shoulders and pushed her back down gently to lie on her back again. But she tossed her head around and muttered under her breath as Spike tried to keep her from moving off her back. Clearly she was having some sort of nightmare.


“Shhh,” Spike soothed, as he ran his hands over her cheek and pushed back her hair. She calmed slightly, as he continued to run his hands along her face and her arms, cooling her into a restful sleep.


----------


The Next Night…


The gang was gathered at the Magic Box. Everyone was uncomfortably silent, not really knowing what to say about everything that had happened yesterday. Willow was working on the computer and Tara was looking through the wooden book.


Anya looked around at everyone impatiently, but nothing came. “Ok, the silence is driving me crazy! When is everyone going to talk about what no one wants to bring up??”


Xander jumped in, “Anya’s right. Everyone keeps avoiding the subject. Do you guys know something that I don’t know?” He looked at Willow and Tara in particular.


Willow shook her head, “No, I just thought Spike was being nicer to her. I didn’t know he had feelings for Buffy.”


Xander turned to look at Tara in question. She looked sheepish and gave a meek smile. “I s-sort of knew,” she stuttered.


Giles asked, “How come you never mentioned anything?”


“It wasn’t my place to tell. A-and sometimes, we weren’t the nicest people to Buffy,” Tara finished. Everyone immediately shot their heads up to look at Xander.


“What??” Xander asked defensively. “She has no soul!”


“Hey Guys,” Willow interjected, not turning away from her computer screen. “Look at what I found!”


They went over to the table and hovered behind her.


“I searched for Rajendra Gem and found a bunch of sites on it. Most of them are bogus, but this one looks interesting…The Rajendra Gem is said to lie in the depths of the hidden caves of northwest India. Many have scoured the land in search for its legendary powers, but centuries of failure have turned it into a mere myth.”


“And then look, here’s a different insert about it,” Willow said as she pointed for the others to see. “The prophecy speaks of the manifestation of a goddess as the one who will successfully find this gem and use its powers to alter the world. Realities will switch until the reason for the alteration is eliminated. If the prophecy is fulfilled, the end of mankind will come before its time is due.”


“Oh dear,” Giles said as he looked perplexed. “I had rather thought that this whole gem business was just some magic trinket.”


“So what do we do next?” Willow asked, looking up at Giles.


“Well,” Giles began hesistantly, “I guess we try to find out somehow if the gem has been found.”


“How do we do that?” Tara asked. “That seems nearly impossible…”


“Have you looked through the whole book, Tara?” Anya asked as she walked over to it and began flipping through it.


“Nearly, and I didn’t see anything else besides what we already read,” Tara answered.


Anya tilted her head. “Well maybe it’s not in here anymore.”


“What are you talking about, Ahn?” Xander asked as he came up behind her.


“There’s a missing page,” Anya replied, as she pointed to the torn edge.


----------


Buffy woke up and an immense pain radiated throughout her body. She groaned for a minute before her mind started to clear. Unfortunately, the groggy feeling didn’t subside. She realized the pain was shooting out from her stomach. And someone was holding her hand. Opening her eyes a little, she turned to her right, to find Spike’s sleeping face inches from hers. Eyes widening, she realized he was sleeping right next to her, but not touching her, except for her right hand which was intertwined in his. She looked around her and saw that they were in her room. Her room, which she slowly realized wasn’t hers at all. Instead of her light pastel colors, the walls were covered with posters of the Sex Pistols.


She extracted her hand from Spike’s and instantly felt the comfort wash away from her. Frowning, she tried to push herself up a little, but was only rewarded with another shooting pain. She groaned as she clutched her stomach with her left arm.


Spike’s eyes shot open and darted around, still in a sleepy daze. “What? What?” Spike asked frantically. He realized he was on his bed with Buffy right next to him, who was apparently holding her stomach in pain. With a worried look, he asked, “Are you ok?”


Buffy turned her head to the side and looked at him, not answering.


“Right, sorry,” Spike replied. He shifted until he was sitting up. “What do you need, luv? I’ll get it for you. Lie back down,” he said as he gently pushed her shoulder down.


She moved her shoulder back from his grasp, confusing him. She looked at him and asked, “How did I get here?”


His forehead furrowed in confusion. “I carried you here. Why? What’s the matter?”


She looked down at herself, indicating her state of undress.


His eyes widened with understanding. “I took it off so Wesley could bandage you up. It was innocent, I promise.”


Buffy nodded her head, casting her gaze downwards. She paused in a moment of silence. “And Drusilla?” she asked.


“She’s dead,” Spike replied matter-of-factly, with no hint of malice or reproach.


Buffy’s eyes shot up at his tone. Confused, she starred at him, hoping to decipher what he was thinking. “Aren’t you angry?”


“Yea, of course,” Spike began. Buffy frowned, waiting the blow. He continued, “That bloody bint was crazier than I thought.” Buffy looked stunned at that.


He looked at her, eyes filled with remorse. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you sooner…” He reached out to grab her hand, but she pulled away, out of his reach.


Her mind reeled with confusion. She had been expecting anger and yelling – things she could deal with. But this –the worry etched into his features as he looked at her affectionately – she didn’t know how to deal with it. Emotions swarmed through her and she felt her heart constrict at the thought of Spike taking care of her all this time. She vaguely remembered someone soothing her with soft hushes and light touches. How could this Spike be the Spike she knew?


She looked up at his hurt look. “Why? I thought you loved her. Why did you bring me here?” she demanded.


Realization dawned on Spike. He looked surprised, “I thought it was obvious.”


“Explain it to me.”


“Buffy, I haven’t loved Dru for a long time,” he began. He reached for her hand again, and this time she didn’t resist. He held her fingers in his hand as he brushed his thumb lightly over her knuckles. “You know I care about you,” he said with sincerity.


Her chin trembled slightly. She shoved away that feeling – the one where she felt like she was a 16-year-old girl again. She looked at Spike defiantly. “So, what now? You suddenly want us to be some sort of couple?”


Her angry tone annoyed him. He was finally admitting his feelings and she wasn’t returning them. But he couldn’t get himself to start a fight with her – not now, not with her hurt like this. He sighed and replied with sincerity, “Yea, I do.”


Her stomach clenched at his words, but she snapped herself out of it and pulled back her hand from his. She started to try to get up, ignoring the pain.


“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing!?” Spike yelled as he got up and rushed off the bed to her side. He grabbed her arms to support her as she winced in pain. His expression softened as he asked, “Why are you being like this?” He reached out to caress her cheek as she looked down, away from his gaze.


Trying to keep the emotion out of her voice, she look up at him and said, “I’m not interested in a secret relationship.”


She could practically see him thinking as his eyes scanned hers in brief confusion. And then he got it. “Oh, is that what you’re worried about?” he said as he gave her an amused smile.


She began to pull away as she said, “I’m not worried about anything. I -.”


He cut her off, “I’ll tell them right now if you want me to.”


Buffy stopped for a moment and processed what he said. As he bent down to kiss her lightly on the lips, her resolve finally broke. Her entire body relaxed in his arms. Exhaling, she buried her face into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, careful not to hurt her wound. With her face against his shirt, she nodded and muffled, “Ok.”



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



A/N: Please review since I spent like 5 consecutive hours writing this chapter, lol. Oh and I phrased the gem stuff in a particular way so it gives you more details, but is still ambiguous. If you’re not paying attention, then don’t blame me for later confusion :)

‘Oh God, what am I doing? What did I do?’ Buffy asked herself as she stood under the spray of the warm shower. She shut her eyes and let the water hit her face, reveling in the warmth. It would have been comforting but her wound stung and she had to try to ignore the pain. ‘How could I agree to going out with Spike? It’s Spike!’ Her mind was reasoning with herself about the absurdity of it all, but the look of worry on his face earlier and the tenderness he showed her melted her heart until she felt like giving in. ‘Oh God,” Buffy thought as she let her forehead hit against the shower wall.


Spike kept going back and forth between his room and the hallway. Finally, he heard her turn off the shower. He strode up to the door with the bundle in one hand and waited for a bit, contemplating if he should knock. She had insisted she was okay and could clean up by herself, but Spike couldn’t help worrying – or pacing the entire time.


“Buffy, luv,” Spike called gently through the door, “Do you need help with the bandaging?”


Buffy eyes widened in slight panic. How was she going to deal with this? She stood there with a towel around her, suddenly realizing she didn’t have any clean clothes to change into.


Quickly, she called out, “No, no! I’m fine!” Her eyes darted around as she tried to think of whether or not she should just put her dirty clothes back on again. She made a face at the thought, since most of it had blood on it.


Spike looked amused as he continued to face the door with clothes in his hands. “You mean you don’t want clean clothes? That’s fine with me. Just come out the way you are, pet.”


Pouting to herself in defeat, she reluctantly moved her body against the door and cracked it open, sticking her head out to look at Spike. Her eyes avoided his and darted around. She felt uncomfortable and awkward without any of her clothes. “Can you bring me something to wear?” Buffy asked, looking nervous.


Spike tilted his head and looked at her with a slight smile. When she looked up at him, he raised his eyebrow and handed her the sweats and the t-shirt he had gotten for her. “Sorry, luv. I don’t have any spare knickers that might be of your fancy,” he said with a smirk. Her shy side was something he had not seen often, and it was damn cute.


She reached her hand out between the crack of the door for the clothes. “Um thanks,” Buffy said quickly as she closed the door to get dressed.


Spike chuckled on the other side of the door, still standing there, waiting to help her bandage the wound up again. His smile faded at the image of the wound from before Wesley had patched it up. He looked down as he tried to control his anger. It was all his stupid fault.


Slipping on the sweats and the oversized t-shirt, Buffy tried to set to the task of removing the wet bandage and putting on a new one. She lifted up her shirt, bunched it up under her arms, and ineffectively tried to wrap the bandage around herself when she heard Spike say, “Buffy, let me help you with the bandage. You’ll bugger it up doing it by yourself.”


“No, it’s ok!” Buffy called back quickly, but she WAS struggling with it herself. Noticing she was doing it too loose, she undid it a bit and pulled it tighter. She inhaled sharply and let out a sound of discomfort at the pain that shot through her.


Spike heard her and he quickly opened the door without asking, scanning her form with worried eyes. “What?” Spike asked urgently, placing his hands on her upper arms as his eyes questioned hers.


“Nothing, I’m fine,” Buffy tried to say, but Spike had already taken the bandage tape from her hands. “No, it’s ok, really, Spike,” Buffy protested.


Spike stopped his actions, and he stepped a little closer to her. He gazed at her freshly showered face and her wet locks, finally looking her in the eyes. He ran his left hand lightly against her cheek, and came in to give her a quick peck on the lips. “I’ll take care of you. Let me help.”


‘How the hell am I supposed to resist when he does that?’ Buffy cried to herself, her entire body already giving in. She let go of the bandage completely, and lifted her shirt with her hands as he started to wrap the bandage around her carefully. She tried to push away the feelings that coursed through her as he brushed up against her skin and reached his arms around her waist to bring the bandage around. Or his head that kept coming close to the nape of her neck, almost touching her.


He took in the scent of her skin, closing his eyes for a brief moment. He was bandaging her with care, but he couldn’t help the familiar stirrings he was having at their closeness. ‘Now is definitely NOT the time, you git,’ he yelled at himself.


Buffy was aching for him to be done, because if he didn’t stop soon, she would jump him, wound be damned. Luckily, he finally stopped and stood back, allowing her to drop her big shirt back down. She looked to the side and crossed her arms, not knowing what to do next. “Thanks…”


“I gotta say, I think that may be the best outfit I’ve seen you wear,” Spike suddenly said, with approval in his eyes.


She unfolded her arms and looked down at herself. She was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a large black t-shirt that had a picture of the Sex Pistols on it. She frowned and pouted, looking up at Spike. “You think this is the best thing I’ve worn??”


“Let me rephrase. Only you could make my old sweats look that sexy,” Spike said in a low voice as he stepped close to her, moving his hands up her arms and sending shivers through her body. Buffy’s lips parted slightly, as Spike’s head moved closer to hers. But instead of kissing her, he moved to the right, so that their cheeks were touching. He inhaled the scent from her hair and turned his face inward, nuzzling her cheek with his eyes closed.


She let out a little gasp at his cool touch, wondering how such an innocent move could turn her on more than a heated kiss. Suddenly, he pulled away and she looked up confused at the loss of contact.


“I’m sorry, luv. We shouldn’t do anything when you’re hurt like that. I’ll stop now,” Spike said with an apologetic look.


“But…I don’t want you to,” Buffy pouted, totally beyond the point of any resistance.


Spike smirked at her before taking both her hands in his and leaning down to her ear. He whispered huskily, “I promise I’ll make it up to you later, when you’re better.”


She shivered at his words, breathing a little heavily already. Spike quickly changed his tone. He wouldn’t be able to control himself if they kept this up. He asked, “Do you want to get something to eat, pet? Let’s go downstairs.”


Her ears perked up at the sound of that. Her stomach made a growling noise that they both heard. “I think that’s a yes.”


----------------------------------------------------------------------


“Ahhhhhhhh!” the female screamed with her hands in the air. “Can you believe that!?”


“I’m surprised,” the male started, “I presumed the whole Leanna factor would surely get the job done.”


“Well, it didn’t, damn it! They killed my diversion!” she yelled. “And now look! They’re in love,” she said with a disgusted face. “What does it take to keep those two apart?” she said in a tired voice.


Rubbing her temples, she tried to relax and regain her composure. Calmer, she asked, “How do you think they got that book? I know they didn’t have that before.”


“Perhaps they are helping her?” he offered.


“Those stupid do-gooders. They disgust me. And can you believe they found information about my gem on the internet!?” she suddenly exasperated. “The INTERNET! Is nothing sacred? It’s one of the biggest forces of power in the world, and the puny humans are using it to tell story time!” she huffed. “Could they have mentioned that I spent 1000 years looking for the damn thing!?” She put on her dramatic face and said, “I’m so unappreciated.”


“Relax. You’ll get the job done, and when you do, you’ll be revered by the entire demon world,” he comforted.


“I better damn well be.”


-----------------------------------------------------------------


They went down the stairs and over to the kitchen. Joyce and Dawn turned at their entrance. Joyce dropped what she was doing and came to stand in front of Buffy. With a concerned look, she asked, “How are you feeling, Buffy?”


“Are you hungry? I can make you pancakes! O-or a hotpocket!” Dawn offered eagerly.


Buffy scrunched up her forehead in thought before asking, “You guys have those things?? Do you guys know you’re vampires?”


“Actually, I went out and got a bunch of food for you. I didn’t know what you would feel like so I just got everything,” Joyce explained. “Don’t you kids like those hotpocket things?”


“Umm, sure,” Buffy replied, a little overwhelmed that she went to that much trouble. “But wait, you guys can shop at a grocery store? Isn’t that like human territory?” she asked with a questioning look.


“She went to Clem’s store, luv,” Spike replied.


Buffy looked surprised. “Oh, right. Clem’s store…silly me,” she answered hesitantly.


Fifteen minutes later, they were all seated at the dining table. Buffy had a T.V.-dinner lasagna in front of her, and the others had a mug of blood. She put a forkful of lasagna into her mouth, not really knowing what to say. It was weird to see them sitting there drinking mugs of blood, but luckily, they remained in their human visage.


Dawn and Joyce kept looking back and forth between Spike and Buffy, trying to silently decipher what was going on. When Spike’s gaze connected with Dawn’s, she raised her eyebrow in question and moved her head towards Buffy, questioning him through gestures. He rolled his eyes at his little sister, and turned back to focus on Buffy.


He saw she looked uncomfortable, so he reached out underneath the table to grab her free hand. She shot her eyes up and looked at him, but he just ran his thumb over the back of her hand in a comforting gesture. She blushed a little, and avoided looking at Joyce or Dawn. But it didn’t go unnoticed.


“Ok I’m dying to ask. Are you guys a couple?” Joyce questioned with a stern tone. Dawn propped herself up on the table, leaning closer in anticipation.


Buffy looked caught and didn’t know how to answer, especially with the way Joyce asked. She reverted to opening and closing her mouth, starring at Joyce with wide eyes. She knew this Joyce wasn’t her mom, but it still felt like she would be telling her mom that she was going out with Spike.


Still holding hands underneath the table, Buffy turned to Spike with a look that asked for help. Spike gave her hand a squeeze, and looked at his mum, a little suspiciously at her stern tone.


“Maybe we are - what of it?” Spike asked, a bit defensively.


Dawn screeched and Joyce’s lips lifted into a smile. “You better be. I didn’t want to have to hit you with a shovel on the head to get you to stop being stubborn.”


Buffy’s face was one of awe. ‘What the hell? That was so easy! Why are people back home so difficult!?’ she pouted to herself as thoughts ran through her head about the difficulty that was home.


Spike caught her look and asked her, “Is something wrong?”


Buffy slowly realized he was asking her something, trying to shift out of her thoughts. “Huh?” Buffy asked in a daze.


He leaned in a little closer and looked into her eyes. “Something wrong, pet?”


Looking into his eyes and feeling the comforting touch of his hand in hers, with Joyce and Dawn both beaming at them, Buffy finally smiled and replied, “No, there’s nothing wrong.”


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“Do you think the missing page is important?” Willow asked as she scrunched her forehead in thought.

“If it’s torn out, then it’s important,” Anya replied confidently.

Giles exhaled in frustration. This gem thing was getting to be very serious – more than he realized before. He couldn’t help but think there might be some sort of apocalypse, and that thought seriously gave him a throbbing headache. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and turned to Willow to ask, “Willow, can you do any sort of spell to look into this more? Perhaps, a locating spell for the gem…? Or more about who this goddess is supposed to be?”

Willow looked hesistant. “I don’t even know where I would find that sort of thing…” At everyone’s expectant looks, she added, “but I’ll try.”

Changing the subject, Xander asked, “What about Spike and Buffy?”

Willow said, “Yea, shouldn’t we be over there, being supportive, a-and well…supportive?”

“I really don’t think Spike wants us there right now,” Tara said.

Anya thought for a moment, and then turned to punch Xander in the arm.

“Ow!” Xander cried. “What the heck is that for?”

“How come you’re not all cute and protective over me?” Anya demanded.

“What?” Xander asked with a confused look as he rubbed his arm. “You’re not even hurt!”

Anya crossed her arms and gave him a look. “But if I got stabbed, you would be, right?”

Xander gave her a nervous look at the sternness in her eyes. He replied quickly, “Of course, Anya!”

“Would you give me as many orgasms as I wanted?” Anya asked bluntly. The others groaned and turned away from them. They knew her recent lack of sexual references could only be short-lived.

Xander cleared his throat as he avoided looking at the others. “Yes, but can we save it for later?” Xander said in a hushed voice.

Satisfied, Anya replied happily, “Ok, I’m going to hold you to that.”

Everyone thought Anya was done, until she added, “Oh and I bet that’s what Spike and Buffy are doing right now! Multiple times. I’m so jealous!”

“Anya!” Xander exclaimed. “Ewww! Dear god, get the image out of my head!” he cried as he hit the side of his head in dramatics. The others groaned again and Tara blushed.

“What?” Anya asked innocently. “It’s not like we didn’t already know they’ve had sex.”

“What??” Xander asked. “What the heck are you talking about?”

Anya rolled her eyes. “Oh c’mon. The book thing the other day? Where they touched each other’s hands and then dropped the book? They so had sex right before that! I could’ve started a fire with the tension between them!”

The others searched their minds at the memory. It hadn’t been that obvious to them. Buffy and Spike had acted skittish, but sex was not an obvious assumption for them – they were not Anya.

“I-I don’t think we should be t-talking about this,” Tara said uncomfortably. “Spike will tell us what he wants us to know.”

Willow looked at her girlfriend and said, “You’re right, sweety. Let’s all leave it alone, ok?”

Giles nodded gladly and walked away to go behind the counter. Xander muttered in agreement, and Anya crossed her arms and said with a sulky tone, “Fineee. Ruin my fun.”


-----------------------------------------------------------------------


Joyce and Dawn had left them alone after that. Buffy finished her last bite of lasagna, and flopped back against the chair. “Ugh, I’m so full,” she said as she put both her hands on her stomach. Spike smiled at her, before getting up and taking the dishes to the kitchen.


He came back into the dining room, and Buffy was already standing up. “How’s your stomach?” Spike asked, coming up to put his hands lightly on both sides of her waist.


“It feels better, except for when I breathe,” Buffy said in a joking voice.


He had a guilty look on his face that made Buffy frown. “What? I’m kidding, Spike. You don’t have to handle me like a China doll. Some say I’m pretty tough, you know – like I may even have the strength of a slayer,” Buffy jibed as she leaned closer into their embrace and picked at the edge of his shirt collar, starring at that spot.


“We should talk, luv,” Spike said in a serious tone. At Buffy’s inquiring look, he added, “There are some things I need you to hear, but not down here. Let’s go upstairs.”



Spike walked behind her up the stairs to his room. After Buffy stepped in, he closed the door behind him. He exhaled and ran his hands through his hair, as she starred at him curiously, waiting for him to speak.


Spike placed his hands on her shoulders, pushing them down lightly and guiding her to sit down on the edge of the bed. He sat in the chair he had brought up last night across from her.


He was making Buffy nervous. Insecurity crept into her. She had finally started accepting this whole thing and even Joyce and Dawn were ok with it too – could he just change his mind right now and go back to casting her away?


“I’m sorry,” Spike said.


“Why?” Buffy asked hesistantly.


“For the way I treated you. For bollocking up the whole sex thing,” he looked up into her eyes with sincere apology. “For not getting to you in time. I’ve been a git, and I’m sorry, Buffy.”


She was amazed, to say the least. Not only were her doubts wrong, but he just apologized for everything, even if it was in his simple wording. What startled her the most was his apology about Dru. He couldn’t be serious, could he? She’s the one that killed Drusilla…


“What? You didn’t stab me, Spike. Drusilla did,” Buffy replied with a confused look.


“I know,” Spike said as he clenched his jaw, “but I should’ve been there. Look at what happened.”


She put her hand on top of his and said, “I’m ok now. I get hurt all the time. Why does this bother you so much?”


He looked deep into her eyes. “Because until that moment, I never realized I could ever be that scared.”


Her heart skipped a beat at his words. This whole day was just unbelievable. Spike had shown her a side of him she had never fully seen before. Now, he was openly bearing his affection and treating her like she was the most important person in the world. She didn’t know how many times she had almost melted today -all she knew was that it felt great, and it felt real.


She suddenly leaped at him and pressed her lips against his in a searing kiss, bringing her arms to wrap around his neck. He was caught off guard at first – that wasn’t the reaction he was expecting, but how could he complain. He pulled her into his lap and eagerly returned the fervor of the kiss. Their lips caressed one another’s eagerly, tongues delving in slightly to tease each other. He heard her moan into his mouth, and he felt his jeans tighten, causing Buffy to react at the movement against her bottom. Their hands roamed all over, but Spike made sure to avoid her wounded area. As Buffy tried to push her body flush against him, she tensed at the pain against her stomach.


He felt her tense, and pulled away from the kiss reluctantly. Knowing that this could really go nowhere with her wounded, he said in a fake annoyed voice, “When do your slayer healing powers kick in already?”


At the look she shot him, he grinned and leaned in to kiss her on the nose, letting her know he was just kidding. He placed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. She sighed contently, before smiling and adding, “Don’t forget the promise you made me in the bathroom.”


“Oh trust me, I didn’t forget,” Spike said with a husky voice. “But if you have any mercy, then you’ll have to get off my lap before I lose all control.”


Buffy pouted as she pulled herself out of his arms and stood up. She crossed her arms and looked to the right at the wall. “Stupid wound.”


Spike chuckled as he stood up in front of her.


A thought came to Buffy that worried her. They were supposed to tell the gang. ‘How will they take it? Is he actually going to tell them? When? Do I still want him to?’ Buffy’s thoughts raced through her.


As if he was reading her mind somehow, he said, “We’ll go tell them tomorrow. Is that ok with you, luv?”


She looked a little stunned that he had read her mind. Then, she faked her reluctance and shrugged, saying, “Eh, I guess so.” But the twinkle in her eyes showed him she was playing and she turned the corners of her mouth into a smile, when she saw him roll his eyes.


“Difficult even when hurt. That’s my girl,” he said in a low voice, wrapping his arms around her.


She bit her lip at the sound of those words. He really needed to stop saying things like that. ‘Heal faster, damn it!’ Buffy yelled to herself.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Leanna was out in the graveyard, brutally killing a small group of angry humans. She felt the anger course through her body, and she put all of her fury on her opponent. One of the ugly ones charged at her with a knife, and she effortlessly stepped aside, tripping him to the ground and then reached down to snap his neck. “Ugh! Why are you guys so easy?!” she yelled at the rabid-looking enemies. She started pounding on one of the humans, and in between punches, she started to say, “That stupid bitch has a fucking chip and I still can’t kill her!” She punched the guy in the nose, hearing a crunch at the impact.


“Why can’t I kill her yet, you ask? Because I have to stick to the plan,” Leanna mimicked. “And everyone else keeps failing their tasks! God! Amateurs!” She exhaled after she had killed off the last of them. She took a look at the dead bodies and started to walk away, unsatisfied by her success.


“I’m going to make sure it’s painful,” she said with a calculating expression.


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A/N: Thanks to the awesome people who voted for me for on the weekly poll!!


I geared into detail mode for all the cute Spike and Buffy stuff. People want details there, right? I hope so. More of their ‘issues’ will be addressed next chapter. And I added the scene with the unnamed people so it would be clear to all that the gem has already been found, lol. The gang just doesn’t know it yet. You may be asking: Who are the mysterious people? What are their names already? What job is ‘she’ talking about? Who hired her? How does the gem work? Why doesn’t she just kill them? What about the wish? Etc. If you’re asking those questions, then you’re on the right track. Haha, did you really think I would tell you the answers in an author’s note? *runs away*

Buffy and Spike stood in front of the Magic Box, side by side with their arms crossed, starring pensively at the door.


Spike looked at her with a sideways glance. “You ready to do this, pet?”


“Define…ready,” Buffy answered slowly, thinking about the explosion that might come when the gang heard their new ‘status.’


She whipped to the right to face him. “Actually. No. I change my mind – can we go now?” Buffy said with a fake pout. “I liked it better when we were in bed under the warm covers.” She trailed her finger down his arm and gave him a coy smile.


Spike lifted a brow at her. “Nice try, Goldilocks. You wanted me to do this so now we’re doing it,” Spike replied as he grabbed her hand in his and started striding forward, dragging her along.


Buffy followed him with a pout and joked from behind him, “Can’t I just wait outside?”


They entered the Magic Box completely, dropping their hands to their sides, as everyone’s head shot up. The gang just starred up at them with wide eyes and didn’t say anything. That bad, nervous feeling crept into the pit of Buffy’s stomach, and she wrung her hands together. ‘Do they know? Why are they looking at me like that?’


Spike looked annoyed. “Hello to you too,” he said sarcastically to the immobile faces.


“Oh! Sorry, hi!” both Tara and Willow said, as the others quickly replied ‘Hi.’


Anya, who was standing in front of Xander, began to say, “We were just gawking because yesterday we were saying that-,” but Xander came up behind her and reached around to clamp his hand over her mouth as she mumbled through it.


Willow jumped up, “-we didn’t know you would be better so fast, Buffy!” She gave her a nervous smile, but continued with a concerned look, “H-how is your wound?”


But Buffy and Spike were starring quizzically at Anya and Xander, who had removed his hand from Anya’s mouth, and was pretending to give her a hug from the back. Buffy looked up at the sound of Willow asking her a question.


“What?” Buffy asked, still sort of giving Anya and Xander sideways glances.


“How is your wound? Does it still hurt a lot?” Willow asked again, trying to divert her attention.


“Oh, you know, not hole-y anymore,” Buffy joked, but Spike turned to glare down at her and gritted out, “Stop bloody well joking about it.”


Buffy frowned. She kept forgetting that even though the jokes made it easier for her, they made Spike feel bad, no matter how many times she told him it wasn’t his fault.


Anya had gotten out of Xander’s hold and burst out, “Are you two having sex!?!”


Buffy and Spike’s heads shot up at the crude outburst and Buffy’s eyes widened.


The rest of the gang closed their eyes and groaned inwardly at Anya’s tact.


“None of your bloody business,” Spike replied evenly as his hand subtly found its way to Buffy’s and he linked his fingers in hers. He could feel her body relax slightly at the contact – slightly.


“Whoa there - are you guys together now??” Xander said as he gestured between the two.


Spike exhaled and said without hesitation, “Yea, we are.”


Buffy tensed more, waiting for the reaction.


Tara couldn’t help smiling, but she pushed it away when she saw the serious looks on the other’s face, more so on Xander and Giles’ faces.


“Ok, I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but do you still remember the part where Buffy is human?” Xander asked with a questioning look.


Spike raised his brow at Xander’s stupid question.


“A human without a soul,” Xander added to clarify.


“Stop talking about me like I’m not here,” Buffy demanded as she shot him a glare.


Spike turned his head to look down at her with reassuring eyes and said softly, “I’ll take care of this.” He pulled her slightly behind him, with their hands still interlocked.


He turned back to Xander with a cold expression. “Have you forgotten Leanna has a soul?”


Xander opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it again. “Ok, good point.”


“I think what Xander is trying to say is,” Giles interjected, “have you forgotten you are mortal enemies? You’ve killed each other’s lovers for god’s sake. Do you really think a relationship could work out between you two?”


They didn’t think about it that way. They had killed each other’s exes. ‘Huh. Ironic,’ Spike and Buffy both thought to themselves.


But Spike looked at Giles with a bored face. “People change. Buffy’s worked with us for nearly three years. I can’t even count how many times she’s saved Dawn.”


Buffy looked at him, a little amazed. It sounded like what she should have said to her friends back home. But she never had, not fully.


“And if the chip comes out?” Giles inquired. “She’ll go back to being evil – trying to kill us.”


Buffy closed her eyes and shook her head in frustration. “I’m not evil!! And I don’t kill people-,” she hesitated, “vampires who are good.” She knew it was different here and she sighed in inner defeat as she added, “Not anymore.”


Spike saw the distress on her face, and turned back to them with an angry look. “Sod it. If you guys don’t like it, bugger off.” He turned and started to storm out, with Buffy’s hand in his.


“Wait, Spike!” Willow called out to stop him.


He wasn’t stopping, so Anya yelled, “The rest of us want you guys to have orgasms!”


Buffy turned around, eyes wide in horror, but Spike was intent on leaving, so he pulled her along out of the Magic Box.


The three girls shot Xander and Giles nasty looks after Spike and Buffy left.


Willow put on her stern face. “Buffy’s a good person now, and you know it. You two,” she shook her finger at them, “need to…need to take the stick out of your ass!” She tried to appear firm.


Anya walked over to Xander and hit him in the arm. “Ow!” Xander cried, as he clutched his arm once again. “Stop hitting me!”


“I wanted to hear about the sex! They didn’t get to the sex yet!” Anya exclaimed at him, angry that her boyfriend helped in driving them away, along with the ‘sex details.’


Xander groaned. ‘I wish there was a mute button,’ he thought to himself.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------


“Spike, stop!” Buffy yelled as he kept dragging her forward in an angry stride. She pulled her hand from his and stopped walking. He stopped and turned around.


“What?” Spike barked. But he realized he was yelling at her, so he softened his expression and exhaled. “Sorry, not yelling at you.”


She shook that aside and asked bluntly, “Doesn’t all that stuff bother you?”


“What?” he asked in a confused voice.


She crossed her arms over herself protectively, looking away.


Slowly, understanding came across his expression. “I thought I already established this.”


“Actually, you didn’t,” Buffy replied quietly. He hadn’t said anything about it before today.


He stepped forward, but she moved back a step, still looking away with her arms crossed. His expression was one of frustration. She wanted the long-winded speech. ‘Fine,’ he thought.


“Look, Buffy. I admit, I did. All those things they said,” Spike pointed towards the Magic Box, “I thought the same things. I held myself back. I held myself back from you.” He stepped forward, but she didn’t move this time.


His hand reached out to skate lightly over her arm. “I thought it mattered. That I could never be with you,” he tilted her chin up so he could look into her eyes, “but I was a stupid git. And I know it now. I saw what I could have lost…you.”


Buffy tried to appear strong, but inside she was trembling. “How do you know it’s anything more than lust? Isn’t that what you told me? That you were using me?”


Spike closed his eyes at the memory and the look on her face when he had said that. He opened his eyes and he saw the same look on her face, making his undead heart ache.


“It was always lust. I always wanted you, even when we were enemies, and I know you felt it,” he began. She started to pull away in anger at the confirmation of her fears, but he stepped up to her again and held onto her shoulders. “But it’s different now. Things change.”


She looked at him with fuming and unbelieving eyes.


“This is lust,” he said as crushed his lips to hers. His kiss was rough and needy, tongue battling its way into her warm mouth. She struggled at first, but at his persistent caress, her mouth began to open, letting his tongue in.
Soon, she was returning the fervor of the kiss as she pressed her body against his, ignoring the pain in her side. His hands began to rise underneath her shirt, savoring the feel of her flush skin. He explored her mouth, fully arousing both of them. Suddenly, he pulled away, causing Buffy to open her eyes in a daze.


As she realized what he just did, fury began to build inside her. “What the hell was that?” she yelled in an angry and hurt tone. She felt like gagging from betrayal.


He quickly moved forward and wrapped his arms around her form, as she struggled to push him away. “Shhhh, wait, luv. Hear me out.” She slowly stopped her resistant actions and stood tense in his arms, fuming. He ran his hands down her back in a comforting gesture, soothing her until she relaxed.


He pulled back his head to look at her when he felt like she wouldn’t run. Not letting go of her, he said, “That was lust. That was all we had. This is what we have now,” Spike said tenderly, as he placed his forehead against hers. He began to move his face slowly across hers, his nose and his cheek caressing against her skin. He brought his hands up to run through her golden locks.


He placed his hands on both sides of her face, and kissed her lightly, barely caressing her lips. He captured her bottom lip gingerly and pulled away, repeating this action twice more.


Her soft cry at his tenderness caught in her throat as she held back a choke of emotion.


Spike looked into her eyes. “Do you feel the difference? It’s terrifying…and it will consume us until we burn. I know that now. Do you?”


Buffy was grabbing onto Spike’s shoulders for support, trying to control her breathing and the rush of emotions coursing through her body. Regaining her breath, she nodded, and looked up into his eyes. “Yes. But I want them both,” she said, referring to the lust and the affection.


Spike smiled at her genuinely before a smirk overtook his expression. “Trust me, luv. That won’t be a problem.”


-----------------------------------------------------------------------


Leanna stepped into her bedroom and shut the door behind her. She grabbed the ends of her blood-stained shirt and lifted it up over her head in one motion, discarding it in the corner.


She walked over to her queen-sized bed and picked up the leathery shirt she had worn the other day. Tossing that aside also, Leanna saw the folded page. ‘Hm. I forgot about this,’ she thought to herself as she picked it up and unfolded it.


Straightening it out, she glanced over the words:


Kerala


The Goddess Kerala was sent to earth after she was caught trying to steal the Rajendra Gem from the heavens. After her attempts, the other gods perished the gem into the depths of India, never to be seen. The prophecy states that one day, the demon lords will call upon Kerala to find the gem and use it against the forces of good. With the power of the gem, she will travel back in time to rid the world of the greatest slayer, thereby stopping the birth of slayers all around the world and stopping the eventual downfall of the demon realm.

Smirking, she said aloud to herself, “Annoying tramp is gonna get it.”

Walking over to her dresser, Leanna picked up a lighter. She flicked her thumb against it and it sparked, lighting the flame. She held the flame to the bottom corner of the page and watched the paper slowly burn away with an evil glint in her eye.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------


Dawn walked down the stairs, humming. She was headed toward the kitchen for a snack, when she heard some muffled noises outside the front door. Rolling her eyes, she walked over to the door and whipped it open.


Spike had been pressing Buffy up against the front door, kissing her senseless. When the door whipped open, Buffy fell backwards and almost hit the floor, but Spike caught her in his arms midway.


With Spike still holding her in a dipped position, Buffy looked up at an upside-down Dawn and gave her an overly peppy smile. “Hi Dawn!”


Spike helped her up with an amused look and Buffy fixed her hair, trying to appear as if nothing happened.


“Good timing, Nibblet,” Spike joked sarcastically.


“Hey, it’s not my fault you guys are horny and can’t wait until you get inside an actual building,” Dawn teased.


“What? Us horny? Noooo,” Buffy said unconvincingly as she swatted her hand in the air for emphasis.


“Uh-huh,” Dawn replied with an upraised brow. “And you got that when you fell.” She lifted her chin towards Buffy’s neck in a gesture.


“What? What?” Buffy asked in a confused voice. She looked down at herself, but didn’t see anything. She turned to Spike, “What?”


The corner of his mouth turned up into a smirk. But he faked innocence and shrugged, “Nothing.”


She gave him the evil eye, unconvinced. She looked around her a mirror, but couldn’t find one. Why would vampires have mirrors anyway… She settled for looking into the glass of the cabinet. Peering at her neck, her eyes widened. She had a huge hickey on the left side. It really shouldn’t have been a surprise considering they practically made out all the way home.


Pouting, she walked back to where Spike and Dawn were. She crossed her arms and muttered, “Stupid vampire.”


“Sorry, luv,” he replied insincerely as he walked over to her with a smile.


She pretended to be annoyed and muttered under her breath, “Why don’t you just write ‘Spike’ all over my neck…”


He put his arms around her, even though she still had her arms crossed. “I thought about that, but I didn’t want to get a nasty marker taste in my mouth when I’m kissing you,” he whispered jokingly into her ear.


“Ugh, you guys are twisted,” Dawn said as she walked away.


Buffy pouted still and said, “I didn’t pick up any turtlenecks when we were at the crypt this morning.”


“Good,” Spike replied in a low voice as his head dipped in, mouth open seductively. But Buffy scrunched her face and turned away, making Spike’s kiss land on her cheek.


She turned back to look at HIS pout now. “No more hickeys!” she tried to say in a stern voice. Of course, she didn’t really mind at all – especially when he was making them - but it was fun to give him a hard time.


“Why? I think it looks pretty,” Spike joked as he ran his fingers lightly over it. At Buffy’s non-changing expression, he relented, “Ok, ok. Don’t get your knickers in a twist. Save that for later,” he said with a suggestive waggle of his brow.


“Argh! You’re impossible.”


“MmmmHm,” he agreed in a low tone as he swooped in for another kiss.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


“I mean, when did this happen exactly??” Xander asked incredulously. “One minute they’re mortal enemies, the next they are googly–eyed and holding hands!”


“One minute?” Anya rolled her eyes as she sat in the seat next to him. “It’s been 3 years! Look alive Xander!”


“But how?” Xander asked in a confused tone. “It’s so wrong! Giles agrees with me!” He turned to Giles for back-up but Giles just gave him a pointed look, not really knowing what to say about it all. Xander continued complaining, “I mean, you guys don’t seriously approve of their relationship, do you?”


“Xander, are you in love with Spike?” Anya demanded.


He scrunched up his face at the ridiculous question, before exclaiming in a high-pitched voice, “WHAT!?”


Anya continued firmly, “Do you or do you not want Spike to be your boyfriend??”


“NO! Why would you-, How can you-, What kind of-,” he sputtered in unbelieving frustration, as his hands waved around in the air.


Willow, Tara and Giles were all unsuccessfully trying to suppress their laughter into their hands. Even Giles looked like he was about to break out into hysterics.


“Then why the HELL do you care so much?” Anya yelled. “You’re job is to care about me, Xander Harris!”


“What? I do care about you!” Xander protested.


“The only time you have hugged me lately is when you attacked me from behind to shut me up!” Anya crossed her arms and looked away indignantly.


Damn, she was right. He’d been so caught up in everything Buffy and Spike related that he hadn’t been paying much attention to her. Xander’s expression became apologetic. “I’m sorry, Anya. I didn’t mean it. Don’t be mad,” Xander gave her a meek smile of apology.


With her lips pursed, Anya turned slowly to look at Xander. She narrowed her eyes at him before saying, “You. Owe. Me. Lots and lots of orgasms, mister!”


The three in the background groaned, breaking them out of their stifled laughter.


Xander darted looks at them, embarrassed again at Anya’s bluntness. “Ok, ok, I promise,” he said as he leaned in to give her a kiss.


Her stern expression melted into a happy smile. “I’m so glad you’re not gay.” She leaned forward to throw her arms around Xander’s neck in a hug, and she knocked over the wooden book that was already half off the edge of the table. It dropped to the ground in a thump, but this time, a slight cracking of wood could be heard.


She disentangled herself from Xander and picked up the heavy book, looking at all sides of it to see if there was a crack.


“Did it break?” Willow asked with a worried look.


Anya inspected it closely and turning it to the side, she saw that the front cover was made by two wooden plates joined together. Curiously, she ran her nail along the line that separated the two parts.


She thought she saw the crack widen ever so slightly, so she straightened in her chair with suspicious eyes.


“What’s wrong?” Xander asked as he looked curiously at his girlfriend.


Not replying, Anya grabbed the pencil on the table and jammed the point into the crack on the side of the cover.


The others looked up at her seemingly bizarre move and began to protest. “Anya, stop! You’re ruining-,” Giles began to say with a concerned look as Anya kept prying.


His words were cut off when the front cover split into two, popping open like a folder. “Aha!” she exclaimed in victory.


They all moved closer, as they saw a single page lying inside the cover.


“Ok, where the hell did this book come from!?” Xander asked in amazement.


“What does it say?” Tara asked curiously.


Anya took out the sheet and started to read. Her brows furrowed in confusion. “It looks like a spell…”


“What for?” Willow asked, coming to stand next to Anya to get a better look.


She shook her head. “I don’t know. It doesn’t say…”


Willow took the sheet from Anya eagerly, but perusing over the spell, she only looked more and more confused.


“Willow?” Giles inquired.


“I…I don’t know…I’ve never seen these ingredients together before…” she replied with a sad frown.


“Well, it was hidden. Doesn’t that mean it’s probably what we’re looking for? It’s probably a good spell, right?” Xander asked Willow optimistically.


Giles looked up at him and answered for Willow. “Perhaps. Or…a really bad one.”


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A/N: I’m dreadfully sorry but I couldn’t resist the whole hickeys thing. What can I say? A girl’s gotta enjoy the writing ;) What enjoyable but suspicious fluff – can anyone smell the trouble up ahead? Be nice, review, and I’ll ignore some of my social life during Spring break to work more on this fic.

The house was empty and the T.V. was on, but neither of them was watching. Instead, Spike was lying on top of Buffy on the couch doing what they’ve been doing for the past few days – making out.


Spike slipped his hands underneath her shirt and drove it up, moving up her stomach to her breasts. As he kissed her lustfully, tongues teasing, he ground down into her. Buffy eagerly arched up for more contact, tightening her hold around his neck and bringing Spike’s body even closer. At the feel of his cool hands massaging her breasts, she thrust up and moaned into his mouth, causing Spike’s arousal to jerk in response.


Buffy brought her hand down in between them and pushed Spike’s chest away, breaking their kiss as she gasped for air. Spike, with eyes clouded over in lust, looked at her in confusion.


“What?” he croaked.


“Breathe,” Buffy panted, signaling that she needed to, and stopping was not a voluntary thing.


“Yea, ok,” Buffy said quickly as she pulled Spike’s head back down to her lips. And they resumed their fast and urgent pace, sexual frustration totally kicking their ass for the last couple of days.


And then they could hear keys jingle. Buffy heard the knob turning and quickly stopped her ministrations, pushing Spike off of her and causing him to roll off the couch and fall flat on his back. Dawn and Joyce had opened the door just in time to witness the sudden Spike hurdle.


“Ow, bloody hell woman,” Spike complained as he rubbed his head. He flashed her a quick pout at the loss of contact and she gave him an apologetic smile before turning to look up at Dawn and Joyce.


“Hi!” she said in a chipper voice, “we’re just watching some T.V. – wanna join us?” She tried to act casual on the couch though her hair was in disarray and her shirt was now on sideways. Not to mention the vampire flung onto the ground.


Both Dawn and Joyce gave them an unbelieving, upraised brow.


“Can you two not get all horn dog on each other in the house so much? Hello? I still live here and yes, I still have vampire hearing. You’re scarring me for life,” Dawn said dramatically.


“Dawn’s right. Not that I don’t know what you two probably do together,” Joyce coughed the end before continuing, “but seriously honey, the smacking noises are highly disturbing for a mother.”


Buffy blushed and looked embarrassed, and actually, Spike looked sheepish too as he scratched the back of his head. He mumbled, “Sorry, mum.”


He got up from the ground and sat up on the couch. Buffy tried to alleviate her embarrassment by saying, “I promise we’ll just watch T.V. now. Smack-free peacefulness.”


Spike pulled Buffy to sit closer to him and put his arm around her, turning to kiss her on the temple before settling against the couch. She rested her head against his chest as they began to try and stare at the screen.


Joyce smiled at the couple before joining Dawn in the kitchen. They looked so natural with each other.


Buffy had her left hand intertwined with Spike’s hand which was sitting on her shoulder, while her right hand rested on his upper thigh – something that did not go unnoticed by Spike. When she gave him a squeeze on the inner thigh, he tensed and shifted in his seat, trying to keep it clean for Dawn and Joyce’s sake. Spike shot her a knowing look, but she just smiled coyly at him and continued watching the screen.


“Vixen,” he whispered deeply into her ear, sending shudders through her body. He got a playful glint in his eyes and moved his head down to kiss Buffy’s neck tenderly, causing her to inhale sharply at the tingly feeling. He began to nibble and lick, kissing her at the curve of her neck. She let out a raspy breath as she tried to not let his ministrations affect her, but of course it wasn’t working.


He began biting a little bit harder with his blunt teeth and caressing the spot with his tongue to distract her. Suddenly, she realized what he was doing. She pulled back and slapped his chest playfully. “Hey!” she exclaimed, trying to give him a lecturing look.


He stuck his tongue between his teeth and continued to leer at her neck, moving in again. Buffy backed herself away on the couch and from there, it turned into a full on struggle. Buffy squirmed to get away from his grasp as Spike playfully kept trying to pin down her wrists so he could get back to work on her neck.


“You…stupid…doof!” Buffy managed to get out in between her struggles.


Spike captured both of her wrists and brought them up above her head, effectively pinning her underneath him. “Sexy doof, you mean,” Spike corrected as he went in for the attack. She was about to give in and let him mar her neck again, until they heard Dawn yell in an annoyed voice, “We’re still here!!”


Spike looked frustrated and glanced down at Buffy. They seemed to be reading each other’s thoughts. They hurriedly got up from the couch and started for the door. “We’re going patrolling!” Spike yelled over to the kitchen and with that, they were out the door.


“Yea, sure, patrolling,” Dawn said. “They’ve been patrolling for days now,” she said with air quotes.


Joyce just smiled and continued making food. “As long as they’re not patrolling in my house.”


-------------------------------------------------------------


They walked hand in hand towards the cemetery, just enjoying the comfortable feel of being together.


Buffy turned her head sideways to look at Spike and asked, “So have you spoken to the gang?”


He raised an eyebrow, “You mean since they told us about that mysterious spell?”


“Yea…or also known as the day you almost kicked Xander’s ass for comparing me to Leanna,” she started out accusatory, but then realized what she said, “Ok, now that I think of it, he sooo deserves an ass-kicking.”


He scoffed. “No, I haven’t really talked to them. Though Red and Glinda have called a couple of times.”


“Yea? Anything new?” Buffy asked in a hesitant tone. Somewhere along the line, asking about the whole reversal thing had stopped being her top priority. It was wrong to ignore the very thing she should have been searching for, but she kept forcing that thought out of her head, and living in the moment – here with Spike.


They stopped in the middle of the cemetery, where everything seemed to be quiet. Buffy withdrew her hand from Spike’s and hopped up backwards to sit on a big tombstone. Spike came to stand in between her legs.


“C’mere,” Spike said as he drew her head closer so he could give her a kiss. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, complying. They drew back, and touched their foreheads together, savoring the feel of each other. He ran the back of his hand across her cheeks softly as she played with the ends of his hair.


They did not yet have “the talk” – the one where they assessed what their relationship meant and how it was progressing, but they both knew that there was a deep emotion there – one that neither of them could yet say.


“Does it still hurt?” Spike asked, looking down at her stomach.


It took Buffy a moment to realize he was talking about her wound, and she replied, “Oh. No, it’s practically all better.” She gave his concerned look a reassuringly bright smile.


“Mmm, does that mean I get to ravage you now?” Spike said with a leer.


She couldn’t help the jolts that ran through her body at the anticipation of his words. His hands moved up her thighs slowly. “Yes…,” she breathed out, and as he moved forward with an elated expression, she quickly amended, “No!”


He frowned, but she added, “I mean, yes, but just not here, in the middle of a cemetery,” Buffy finished as she crinkled her nose.

“I dunno, it could be fun,” Spike whispered suggestively.


“Yea sure, until people pop out of nowhere and interrupt us during an important moment,” Buffy said.
“Then we’d have to stop and fight them and I’d be extremely frustrated,” she finished with a pout.


He chuckled and moved his hands up and down her arms, still standing in between her legs as she sat on the tombstone.


She tilted her head up in thought and frowned. “Unless they’re vampires and then you’d have to take care of it…”


He caught the disappointment in her voice and looked a little hurt. “Don’t you like it when I take care of you?”


She looked at him and didn’t answer for a moment, just gazing into his eyes. Finally, she reached out to touch the scar on his eyebrow and said softly, “Yea, a little too much.” It wasn’t just a compliment – it was an indication of something deeper.


He realized that the mood had gotten from playful to thoughtful in 2 seconds flat. But he wanted to know. He felt a surge of hurt at all the hidden implication that she was keeping her thoughts from him. “Tell me,” he said evenly, keeping the negativity out of his voice.


She sighed and backed up a little. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry.”


“It’s something. You can tell me, luv,” Spike said as he starred at her, intense with affectionate emotion.


She furrowed her brows to try to find a way to explain it. “Ok…,” Buffy began with a sigh.


“Before, I just felt like I always had to keep fighting.”


Spike assumed she meant before the chip, but Buffy was referring to home.


“It was….what’s the word…monotonous? mechanic?” Buffy sighed. “I was tired – tired of always having to defend myself. I had so many responsibilities. I’m the Slayer – the Chosen One, blah blah. Also known as: Buffy never gets a break.”


“Now I know I have a chip, which I still hate, because I can’t wipe that stupid look off Leanna’s face,” Buffy said bitterly.


Spike raised an eyebrow but let her continue.


“But something about not having to fight all the time…I never thought I could come to like being defenseless. But I’m not really defenseless,” Buffy looked up, “because I have you.” She ended with a lighthearted tone, but they both knew it was just a cover-up for a serious admission.


At this moment, in her unrestricted speech, she looked like the most beautiful thing that he could ever lay eyes on. He felt himself falling deeper and deeper.


“Spike?” Buffy asked, a worried look at his silence.


“You’ll always have me,” Spike said in a low voice, emotion dripping all over his tone.


‘How I wish that was true,’ Buffy thought as she closed her eyes. She opened her eyes again to find Spike starring at her deeply, and she leaned forward to kiss him passionately, erasing away her negative thought.


“Mm, wait a minute, pet,” he said as he pulled away. “Finish first. You said that was before. And now?” Spike held her hand in his.


She looked him in the eyes and replied, “Now, I feel like just a girl. I feel like Buffy, with no ‘the Vampire Slayer’ following.”


Spike smirked. “Is that a good thing?” He asked, but he already knew the answer.


She smiled genuinely. “Yea, it is.” They shared another kiss, before Spike pulled back one last time.


“One last thing. You’re not just a girl, you’re my girl,” Spike said matter-of-factly.


She smiled at the endearment. “And you’re my widdle vampire,” Buffy said in a babying voice.


Spike growled and grabbed her off the tombstone, her legs wrapping around his waist.


“Take that back,” he demanded.


“What’s the matter, Spikey? Did I hurt your ego?” Buffy put on a coy smile. He opened his mouth to let out a snarky comeback, but she interjected him with a whisper to his ear, “I can fix it for you.”


-----------------


Xander was walking through the cemetery, yelling to himself about his rash decision to walk alone. But he had been angry when Anya told him at the Bronze to “shut up or go home.” It’s not like he was complaining that much about Spike and Buffy’s relationship.


And now, with three humans approaching him, he realized what a dumb move that was. The first guy lunged forward, and Xander vamped out and easily stepped aside to trip the guy.


“Ha! That’s all you got?” Xander mocked. He spoke too soon because the other two guys came up from behind and grabbed both of his arms.


----------------


Behind the brush, Spike and Buffy were, yet again, snogging like horny teenagers. They heard someone speaking, and paused to see who was out there.


Out of breath, Buffy asked, “Who is it?” She squinted through the brush and tried to make out the figures, but couldn’t.


Spike looked curiously through the trees, before a smirk took over his face. “Why, it’s the whelp and three humans.” He turned back to Buffy and started kissing her again.


She laughed into his kiss and pushed him back to say, “We should help him…I guess.”


“He has it under control,” Spike said hastily, as they both heard Xander let out a shriek.


Buffy was torn between continuing their hot and heavy kissage, and stopping to help Xander. But as Spike nibbled at her ear, all she could focus on was his cool tongue against her flushed skin. Forgetting about Xander, she crushed her lips to his, urgently seeking more contact. He groaned and pulled her closer by the waist.


“Well, well, well,” a male voice said in the distance. Spike reluctantly pulled away to look through the brush and realized that several more humans had joined in after Xander managed to take care of the first three. Looking frustrated, he saw Buffy had an equal expression as she tried to catch her breathe.


“Fine,” Spike sulked. They untangled themselves from each other, and straightened their clothes before stepping out to go help Xander.


Walking over with Spike, Buffy muttered to him, “I told you they would interrupt us.”


“So let’s kick their asses quickly then.”


Buffy and Spike both quickly lunged for a human, flinging them back from Xander. Xander looked up with bewildered eyes and relief washed over them. “Guys! I’m so glad to see you!” he said weakly as he rubbed his head.


Spike glared at him, showing his disagreement. The human who had spoken earlier was about to open his mouth to say something, but Spike stepped forward and threw a solid punch to his nose, effectively cracking it.


Buffy was taking out her own frustration on another guy. “Stupid…people…interrupting…us,” she managed to get out in between brutal punches. A guy grabbed both of her arms from behind while one of them came charging at her, but she lifted herself off the ground and kicked him in the head. She brought her upper body back down to the ground fiercely, effectively flipping the guy in back of her over her head. She looked for Spike and saw he was handling three guys at once, so she ran over to him.


She saw the man on Spike’s right side had a knife in his hands, and Spike was busy hitting the other two, so Buffy ran forward and tackled the offender to the ground before he could attack Spike. She grabbed the arm with the knife in it and struggled with the man for a few seconds before managing to seize it. She flung it several feet away before throwing a solid punch to the guy’s face – so intense that he blacked out at the contact. ‘Huh. What a wuss,’ Buffy thought as she got up.


As soon as she got up, another lunged forward and tackled her, eliciting a loud ‘oof’ as she hit the ground. The guy straddled her and hit her in the face, making her flinch because the punch actually hurt. She blinked her eyes open to see a very disgusting looking man who was now leering at her. Her face twisted in disgust as she said, “Ugh, you seriously need to invest in a shower!”


Spike looked up to see some guy straddling Buffy, and he growled in anger before quickly finishing off the current guy and running over to them. He grabbed the offending man off of Buffy and gave a quick twist of his neck, snapping it. “Nobody straddles her but me, you bloody git,” he ground out to the dead body.


Buffy looked around from her point on the ground and realized they had finished the last of them. Spike helped her up and she dusted off her clothes. And then they remembered Xander, who was walking toward them now.


He had an embarrassed look as he said, “Uh, thanks guys.”


The couple looked at him with impatient eyes, telling him that he was either not forgiven for being an ass, or that he had interrupted something important. Or both.


Spike grabbed Buffy’s hand and began to walk away. “Where are you going?” Xander asked, confused.


“None of your bloody business,” Spike said evenly.


“Does no one else matter in your life anymore? You know those people – you use to call them your friends?” Xander said sarcastically.


Spike stopped in his tracks and turned to glare at Xander. “Until you wankers come to deal with us as a couple, don’t be expecting me to come around.” And with that, Spike turned back around and walked off with Buffy.


Buffy reveled in how easy Spike made it seem. He just never stopped surprising her. She felt a surge of emotion go through her at how perfect these past couple of days seemed. Somewhere, in the deep recesses of her mind, she hoped it would never end, and she knew what that meant.


She leaned up to his ear and whispered to him, “Let’s go back to my place.” Spike gave her a look and started walking in strides, dragging her along.





They made their way into her crypt in a similar fashion as last time: crashing into walls while kissing urgently. Once downstairs, their anticipation peaked.


“Buffy,” Spike breathed out lustily. He captured her glistening lips and his hands went to grab the edges of her top. He lifted her top over her head in one sweep, and her golden hair cascaded back down against her bare shoulders. Her heart pounded wildly and she ached for his touch. Grabbing him by the belt, her fingers went to work on the buckle as she pressed her lips to his in a searing kiss.


Spike groaned at the feel of her hands tugging his jeans, causing his erection to grow even harder. He reached behind her back and smoothly unhooked her bra, tossing the offending material aside. He gazed down at her breasts with naked desire and he moved down to capture her nipple with his mouth, causing her to buck into him and throw her head back in pleasure.


“Spike,” she gasped. Spike continued to suck on her breasts while he worked the buttons of her pants slowly.


She pushed him back suddenly and quickly stripped off her pants.


“Impatient, are we?” Spike smirked as he removed his own pants.


His shaft sprang up when he removed the confining piece of clothing and she stared at it with open desire, breath starting to hitch already.


She said with a saucy smile of her own, “I’m not the only one, it seems.”


He stepped toward her as he stripped off his shirt, revealing his muscled arms and chiseled chest. Spike stood naked, while Buffy was clad only in her panties.


Spike grabbed Buffy by the waist roughly and pulled her against him, kissing her thoroughly. She hoisted herself up and wrapped her legs around his waist, consequently pressing her sex against his hard erection. She rasped at the contact and looked at him with desire-filled eyes.


Spike carried her over to the bed and threw her down, giving her a sexy look as he slowly climbed up her body. She shuddered at his predatory movements. He brought his fingers to hook the sides of her panties, slowly bringing it down her legs, revealing her sex to him.


He moved up her body to give her a deep kiss, delving his tongue in to battle with hers. At the same time, his fingers reached up in between her legs, causing her to moan into his mouth and arch up into his hand. He pumped two fingers into her wetness and his own arousal was becoming achingly painful. Buffy was closing her eyes in pleasure, but when she opened her eyes, she caught the clenched look on Spike’s face.


“I want you,” Buffy rasped, “now.”


He groaned at her words and quickly complied, positioning himself at her entrance. Spike gave her a questioning look, and Buffy nodded. He thrust into her all the way, and they both gasped as their holds tightened on each other. Her nails dug into his back as she bit back a scream of pleasure. Spike closed his eyes as he tried to regain his composure.


After a moment, he began pumping into her, causing her to moan. She started moving with him, coming up when he ground down. He was quickly losing control at her movements, and he buried his face in her neck, savoring the feel of her around him.


“Harder,” she breathed out.


He smirked at her. Her sexuality was amazing to him. And of course, he complied. Moving more urgently, he pumped into her with abandon, but kissed her passionately at the same time. She moaned out each time he hit the bundle of nerves deep inside her and she whispered his name in lust.


“Buffy,” Spike whispered back, conveying his matching sentiments. He heard the gasps in her breath and the oncoming shudders of her body. He drove into her and kissed her deeply as she went over the edge, body convulsing in pleasure and crying out. She clenched around him as she came, causing him to lose control and come inside of her. His body jerked into hers spastically.


Slowly, they came down from their climaxes, and he slumped against her, sweaty bodies embracing. He exhaled into her neck. Buffy tried to regain her breath and slow the beating of her heart. “That was soooo worth the wait,” she said, fully satisfied.


“Yea…you’re so amazing,” he said softly, touching her skin and then running his hands across her face affectionately. She saw the look in his eyes and smiled at him lovingly.


“We’re amazing together,” she corrected.


Spike swelled at her words and dove down to kiss her, massaging her lips with his. He pulled back and rested his cheek against hers, closing his eyes.


“Let’s be amazing again,” Buffy said with a glint in her eyes.


Spike lifted his head up and smirked at her. “Whatever you say, luv.”






-------------------------------------------------------------


A/N: I mentally prepped myself for 3 months in being more comfortable with the idea of writing a real sex scene. I know I could have been even more specific, but what is there is what I’m comfortable with describing. First real sex scene challenge: check! Feedback is essential or else I’ll run away forever.

“They’re getting closer,” Kerala said in a bitter voice.


“Well now that the page has been burned, your identity is safe,” he offered.


“True. They don’t seem to have a clue as to who I am,” her lips lifted into an evil smile at the brightening notion.


Her smile immediately turned into a cold expression as a thought came to her. “But if they use that spell, they will find out what the Slayer’s been keeping from them. You know what that means.”


“That they will know the gem is already in use and that the Slayer isn’t from their realm,” he finished.


“We will make sure they don’t find out how the gem works, or how to reverse the process before we kill her,” Kerala reinforced with deadly determination. She walked over to the gem that was placed in a perfectly carved shape in the stone wall and watched its glow intensify.

“We’ll move in soon,” she said as the gem reflected in her eyes.


-------------------------------------------------------------


“No, you musn’t,” Giles said sternly.


Willow frowned stubbornly. “Giles, it could be the answer to our problems!”


“Or the end of our lives!” he shot back. “You can’t just go around casting spells when you don’t have an utter clue what it may do.”


Willow slumped in defeat and plunked her head down on the Giles’ dining table. She knew he was right, but the spell, just sitting there, was making her itch for some magic. Not knowing drove her crazy.


Giles sighed. He wanted to know just as much as she did, but he knew the chances of it being catastrophic were a great deal higher than it being beneficial. He paused before looking up at Willow and offered, “Perhaps we should try to find out what it is and if we do so, we can then use the spell.”


Willow picked up her head from the table and had a pout on her face before reluctantly replying, “Fine. I guess you’re right.”



-------------------------------------------------------------


She was dreaming of Spike. His cool lips against hers – his hands running soothingly through her hair.


“Buffy,” he whispered in between kisses.


She felt light in his arms, and helpless to his touch. Smiling, she looked at him with pure joy in her eyes. He began to unbutton her shirt as she lay under him on the bed. She closed her eyes to revel in his tender movements.


But when she opened her eyes, they were standing outside, in the cemetery. Confused, she looked at Spike in question.


“Spike?” Buffy asked with wide eyes. “What happened?”


Spike smiled at her lovingly. “You’ll be ok, luv. I promise I’ll come back soon.” He pulled her to him for a deep kiss that made her heart beat faster, forgetting her confusion.


When he pulled back, she pouted at the loss. “When?” she asked with sad eyes. “You’ll come back soon?” her voice was hopeful.


“Of course, luv. I’ll never leave you,” Spike finished in his same comforting voice.


She smiled, believing him. “Where are you going?” she asked curiously.


“You’re the one going, pet,” he replied.


“What?” she scrunched her forehead.


He saw her confusion again and ran his hand down her cheek in a comforting manner. “Don’t worry. Just go through the door.” He looked in the direction behind her.


Turning her head while she was still in his arms, she saw a white door in the middle of the cemetery. It shone a bright white color, glowing in the darkness. She felt drawn to it, but didn’t want to leave Spike’s arms.


He leaned forward and whispered into her ear, “Go on, luv. I’ll wait here for you.”


Looking back at him for reassurance, she nodded in understanding and moved away from his embrace. Turning to face the door, she slowly took a step toward it and looked back at Spike. He smiled back at her. She moved forward more, coming to stand right in front of it. Slowly moving her hand to reach for the knob, her fingertips barely touched it before everything flashed.


And Buffy was in a white room. Quickly turning around in all directions, she braced herself for attack.


“Don’t worry, Buffy,” a soothing female voice said.


She turned around, and a kind-looking old woman stood before her, garbed in white. She exuded ‘goodness’ and her aging wrinkles added to her soft features. Her eyes shone with purity and her long white hair flowed to her waist.


“Who are you?” Buffy asked, feeling safe in this woman’s presence.


“Someone who wants to help you,” she answered with a kind smile.


“Are you the Powers That Be?”


“Something like that. But I don’t have much time, Buffy. You have to listen to me carefully,” she said in a concerned tone.


Buffy stepped closer to the woman, ready to listen. “What is it?”


“You need to make things right again. Something big is happening and you aren’t trying,” the woman said.


Buffy frowned. “Tell me what I need to do.”


“Stop the process. You need to figure out how to get home.”


Buffy bit her lips. An overwhelming sense of guilt flooded through her. With ashamed eyes, she looked at the old woman. “How?”


“Realize what’s in your heart,” she said. “You are here for a reason, and only when it’s accomplished can you be restored.”


“But how?” Buffy asked again desperately.


“Realize the truth. And quickly, before she becomes successful in her mission.”


“I don’t understand! Tell me how!” Buffy cried out. Her stomach tightened in desperation and as begged the woman with her eyes.


“Tell them to use the spell,” the woman said calmly. “Here.”


She put her hand out for Buffy to see, and an object appeared in the palm of her hand. Buffy tentatively reached out to take it from her. It was a little metal trinket, shaped into a heart the size of a half dollar. She took it in her hands, and felt the cool smoothness of it.


“What is this for?”


“The spell,” she replied. “Go, before he leaves you.”


Buffy looked up in alarm. ‘Spike.’ She had forgotten he was waiting outside. She was about to thank the woman and run off, but the woman was already gone. Buffy was alone in the white room, but she hastened her movements to reach the white door. Opening it, she stepped outside of the white room, and back into the cemetery.


The door disappeared when it closed behind her, and she scanned the area for Spike. “Spike?” Buffy called.


“Slayer,” Spike replied in a cold voice. He stepped out from the darkness, leather duster swaying behind him.


She took in the change in his demeanor. She was about to walk over to him and fling herself into his arms, but he interjected her.


“What the hell are you doing here? Come to fight to the death?” he said with malice in his voice.


“What? Spike? What are you talking about?” Buffy walked to him and reached out to touch his arm, but he vamped suddenly, causing her to jump back at his hostility.


He started stalking in a circle around her, while she stood there alarmed and panicked at his change. Her hand dropped down to her side in realization, letting the trinket slide from her palm onto the ground. This was the Spike that wanted to kill her, not her Spike.


“Come on, Slayer. Let’s get this over with,” he growled.


He lunged toward her and she closed her eyes tightly, not moving or making an effort to fight. As his fist flung toward her face and connected harshly with her left cheek, she flung her head back in pain and cried out.

~

“Buffy!” Spike yelled, shaking her. She thrashed in his arms violently, not opening her eyes. “Buffy! Wake up!”


“Wake up!!” He shook her shoulders until her eyelids fluttered open in a confused daze.


She was panting heavily, beads of sweat across her chest. She darted her eyes around, realizing she was in the crypt, Spike holding her in his arms, looking at her with concerned eyes.


‘It was a dream!’ she realized, a huge wave of relief flooded through her. Buffy flung her arms around Spike and hugged him fiercely, burying her face in the side of his neck. Her body trembled as she let out short pants.


“Shhh, it’s ok, luv,” Spike whispered as he ran his hands through her hair. “Just a nightmare…”


Her heart beat slowly stopped its rapid pace as she breathed into Spike’s neck, focusing on the soothing feeling of his skin on hers and his hands through her hair.


All of a sudden, Spike felt her tense. He brought his head back to look at her in question. She starred at him wide eyed and slowly took her right arm away from his neck. Spike looked down at her arm, confused, until he saw that her hand was fisted, as if holding something.


Her heart began to beat rapidly as she opened her hand, revealing a little heart trinket in her palm. She dropped it as if she was scorched, and flung her naked body back to the end of the bed.


“What’s that?” Spike asked, picking up the trinket.


“I-,” Buffy started breathing deeply again. “It can’t-,”


“What is it, Buffy?” Spike urged.


Her eyes wide with disbelief, she continued, “I dreamt that someone gave that to me.”


His face showed his confusion until he realized what she meant. “This isn’t yours?”


“No,” Buffy shook her head, feeling like the room was spinning. An eerie feeling settled inside of her – it wasn’t just a dream after all.


--------------------------------------------------------------


They were all in Giles’ apartment and had just finished listening to Buffy’s edited version of her dream. She knew it was wrong, but she omitted the part about the woman telling her she needed to ‘go home.’


Buffy was sitting on the couch next to Spike, her head turned to the side and face buried into the side of his arm. He had been comforting her ever since she woke up, listening to her shaky explanation of her dream. Spike reassured her continuously that it was just a dream, and that he wasn’t going to all of a sudden ‘turn evil.’ She couldn’t tell him that in actuality, he had been evil already and tried to kill her before.


The rest of the gang stood there confused with Giles holding the trinket and looking it over.


“She said this was for the spell?” he wanted to reconfirm.


“Yea,” she muttered tiredly into Spike’s arm.


Willow was looking over the spell, looking at the ingredients over and over. Nothing said: a little heart trinket. Tara was looking over Willow’s shoulders.


“Wait,” she said, pointing to an ingredient at the bottom of the list. “A Dash of Silver.”


Willow frowned and looked at her girlfriend in question. “Huh? What about it?”


“Giles, c-can I see the heart?” Tara asked.


He handed it over to her and she looked it over carefully. Realization dawned on everyone at the same time. The heart trinket wasn’t metal, it was silver.


“Well, I don’t get it. It says a dash of silver. Couldn’t we just have thrown in like a silver letter opener or something?” Xander questioned.


Willow’s mind was at work. “No…because then...,” understanding dawned on her, “we would have done it wrong!”


“It probably only works if you use this…,” Tara whispered in reflection.


“Extraordinary,” Giles said. A thought came to him. “Could it be a trick though?” he asked cautiously. “You did say that in your dream, Spike turned evil. Maybe she’s some sort of evil mirage disguised to get us to do the spell.”


She flinched and tensed. How could she explain that the Spike part used to be true? She managed to get out, “I just know she was good. I felt it. I don’t know how to prove it, but you’ll have to trust me.”


She sighed as Spike tried to comfort her. And Xander looked like he was about to say something, which was what he looked like the entire time that Spike and Buffy were there, but the girls kept shooting him warning glares, so he shut his mouth each time. Giles kept looking over at them, but knew this was not the time.


Buffy and Spike didn’t even notice since they were only focused on each other. Without looking at them, she quipped in a tired voice, “Besides, even evil wouldn’t disguise themselves in the shape of a heart. How lame would that be?”


Spike chuckled as he continued to stroke the back of her hand with his thumb.


“Giles, we should do the spell. If the woman in her dream is from the Powers That Be, we may actually be running out of time,” Willow tried to convince him.


He took off his glasses and used the bottom of his shirt to rub the lenses. He sighed in defeat. “Let’s assemble the ingredients just in case. In the meantime, we should do a thorough search for anything about a mysterious spell.”


Willow’s mind did a happy flip. She knew she would get to do the spell eventually, and her excitement peaked. Her face lit up, but she quickly tried to put on a serious face and suppress her glee.


--------------------------------------------------------------


After some convincing, Buffy agreed to go to the Bronze and try to forget about the dream. The gang was also going, and Xander even agreed to keep his mouth shut. He knew it wasn’t a good day to be picking fights with Buffy or Spike.


They walked in and found themselves a table, surveying the crowd.


“Wow, it’s packed tonight. Everyone and their mom are here,” Xander commented. His traveling gaze did a double take, and he darted his attention from one side of the room to another.


“What?” Anya asked. “Why are you all bug-eyed?”


“Uhh, well because,” Xander pointed, “There’s Leanna,” and he pointed to the other side, “and there’s Buffy’s little admirer, Mike, headed our way.”


Buffy and Spike groaned as the rest of the gang gave them ‘yikes’ looks. As Mike approached, they all scattered away pretending to look for drinks.


“Hey Buffy,” Mike greeted with a smile.


Buffy gave him an obligatory smile, “Hi Mike.” Spike glared at him and not-so-subtly took Buffy’s hand in his.


Mike looked down at their joined hands and a flash on confusion went across his face before he concluded, “You two?”


Spike smirked at him with a macho look of victory that did not go unnoticed by Buffy. She glared at him and he flashed her innocent eyes.


“Yea,” Buffy replied apologetically. She felt sort of bad for him, and he was a nice guy to boot.


He nodded in understanding. “I knew you were waiting for someone all this time.”


She frowned and opened her mouth to disagree, but Spike interjected, “Yep, me. Now bugger off.”


“Spike!” Buffy exclaimed at his rudeness. He just smirked at her and leaned in for a kiss. She put her hand up to his mouth and turned back to Mike as Spike continued his path. “Sorry, Mike. I’m sure you’ll find someone that’s better for you.”


Mike gave her a small smile and turned to walk away.


Spike leaned in for another kiss as he whispered, “Not bloody likely.” Buffy couldn’t help smiling and kissing the jerk back. ‘He’s cute when he’s possessive.’


But when she glanced up for a moment, she stilled Spike’s movements.


“What?” Spike pouted into her ear.


“It’s your turn,” Buffy muttered. Spike looked up in the same direction and slumped in his chair. “Oh bloody buggering hell. Mine’s worse!”


It was Leanna, sauntering over to them with a truly pissed-off look on her face. Buffy tensed as she did her own share of staring down.


“Hi Spike. Hi tramp,” Leanna said as she turned to both of them. Buffy lunged up out of her seat, but Spike quickly grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. “Let me handle this,” he whispered into her ear.


“Leanna,” Spike replied curtly. “What do you want?”


At the ‘sickening’ display of Buffy on her Spike’s lap, Leanna’s eyes flashed with a deeper grey. “How can you be with a dirty human? Of all people, the slayer?”


“It’s none of your business. Sod off. We’re long over, Leanna,” Spike replied evenly as he gave her a bored look.


“I bet you’re just using each other for the sex. You know they call that whoring, right?”


“Can you please kick her ass now!?” Buffy exasperated.


“Yea, because you can’t do it yourself,” Leanna smirked.


“That’s enough. Leave,” Spike said with intensity as he stood up to look at her in the eyes.


She looked indignant and before she turned to storm off, she added, “When her little thrall over you ends and she stabs you in the back, I’ll be the one to say I told you so.”


“Argh!” Buffy yelled. “I want to kill her!”


Spike’s jaw was clenched because he was pretty pissed off too. He played it cool, but he seriously almost punched Leanna in the face for talking about Buffy that way. He pushed his emotions aside and pulled Buffy forward into a hug. Spike ran his fingers through her hair, trying to calm her down. “Don’t let it get to you. You’re better than her by miles,” he said.


“Is that even in question? Of course I am! She’s a freakin’ raving lunatic!” Buffy exclaimed.


Spike chuckled and just took her by the hand. “C’mon, Goldilocks.”


“Where are we going?” Buffy asked, confused at the change of subject.


“I wanna dance with you,” Spike said.


“Oh,” she replied as she blushed, fighting a smile and the fluttering feelings that she used to get when she was 16. She didn’t know how he still managed to do that to her everytime.


-------------------------------------------------------------


The next night, Buffy woke up in Spike’s arms, her back to his chest in a spooning position. They had fallen asleep in his room after a long day. Waking up with his arms around her, she suddenly felt refreshed and in brighter spirits.


“Mmm,” he mumbled into her hair, still half asleep.


A jolt of tingles ran through her as she felt him hardening against her ass.


Getting a mischievous streak, she pushed back, grinding her ass against him.


“Be the death of me,” he muttered, waking up at her teasing.


She did it again and threw her head back, moaning. At that, he was fully awake and he suddenly flipped her on her back and hovered over her. “How come you don’t get my attention like that everytime?” he smirked.


His hair tousled and chest shirtless, Buffy’s eyes darkened with lust. She was wearing a tank top and some panties, looking ready to pounce. She lifted her head off the bed to capture his lips, and pulled his body down fiercely against hers.


Spike eagerly pushed into the kiss, prodding his tongue deeper into her mouth and savoring the feel of her warm heat. He looped his finger under the strap of her panties, tugging at it playfully while his other hand held the back of her head.


“Mmmm. Need help with that?” she joked.


He growled at her and ripped the offending material from her body, provoking a raspy gasp from her.


“Wait,” she managed to breathe out.


“Wait??” Spike questioned incredulously. “What? Why?”


“Joyce and Dawn,” she replied.


“Oh, them. They’re gone, luv. It’s just you and me,” he waggled his brows.


“In that case, please continue,” she quipped.


He chuckled before he lunged in, nipping the spot right below her ears. As he moved his kisses down her neck and to her breast, she felt the wetness begin to pool between her legs. He took in her nipple and she arched up into his mouth, wanting to get even closer to him. Buffy reached her hand down, and took his shaft into her hands, beginning to pump it slowly. He groaned against her breasts, sending vibrations and chills through her body.


She pulled him to her entrance, and he looked up with a smirk, “Impatient as always.”


She gave him a coy smile before flipping them around so that Spike was on his back and she was hovering over him. She positioned herself over him, and slowly sunk down on his shaft. The sensation of his cool shaft penetrating and filling her warm heat made her groan and throw her head back in pleasure. Spike gripped the side of the bed and clenched his jaw, trying to control himself from jerking upwards harshly.


She began to ride him as she placed her hands on his chest, both with their eyes closed in ecstasy.


“Look at me,” Spike rasped.


Buffy opened her eyes and stared down into his, drowning in the emotions running between them. She continued to rock against him, squeezing him as she pushed forward. A thin layer of sweat formed on her chest and she was close to panting for air.


He moved up with her, driving his cock in deeper when she thrust forward.


“Unh,” she breathed, as each thrust sent her closer and closer to her goal.


At the sound of her heart beating rapidly, Spike couldn’t stand it any longer. He flipped them suddenly and pumped into her at a quickened speed, making her gasp louder and louder.


He leaned down to kiss her, keeping up the pace as his tongue battled with hers. Pulling back, he gazed into her eyes and the look he saw there told him everything.


“Spike,” she gasped. She tilted her neck invitingly to the side, and his eyes deepened in renewed lust at her subtle action.


“Buffy,” he whispered back. Slamming into her, he sent her over the edge and she began to milk him tightly. Spike felt like his body was on fire, and as he came, he vamped out and plunged his fangs into her soft neck.


The feel of his teeth slicing into her neck brought on a tinge of pain, but the pleasure that flooded over it was intense, escalating her orgasm until she was gasping heavily for air and convulsing up against him. She felt him begin to draw blood, and a new wave of fluids rushed out in between her legs, covering his cock. She felt the room spin as he prolonged her intense orgasm. With Spike coming into her frantically, she never wanted the moment to end.


The blood hit his mouth and he jerked into her at the sensation. Feeling nothing but love, he wondered why it had taken so long for him to realize it. Buffy’s heart began to skip a beat, so he pulled back with a final roar as he came into her one last time. He collapsed on top of her, head in between her breasts, and knew that was the best thing he had ever felt in his life.


Her heavy breathing and clouded vision began to clear, as the slight pain in her neck became stronger. She looked down at Spike’s head lovingly and made a noise of satisfaction.


Buffy closed her eyes and an image flashed in her head. It was Spike from the end of her dream. Eyes shooting open, everything seemed to snap into perfect clarity. With a frown, she reached to the left side of her neck and touched the wound. Bringing her hand back slowly in front of her face, all she saw was blood.


Spike looked up at her in question and saw the blood. “I’m sorry, luv,” he apologized. He smirked, “Let me get that for you.”


He moved up her body to clean it up, but she jerked back from him. With a confused look, he asked, “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” His eyes shone with concern as he scanned her expression.


She was wide-eyed, starring at him like he was a stranger. Everything felt harsher all of a sudden – the light, the sheets, the stickiness in between them. And like a blind woman given eyes, she realized what she had just done. ‘I let Spike bite me. I slept with him, multiple times!’ she repeated to herself. ‘What have I been doing?’


The course of regret ran through her as she admonished herself for the little fantasy world she had entered willingly. She had been playing boyfriend-girlfriend with Spike. Instead of finding a way home to her family and friends and her life, she was here pretending this was ok. And worst of all, she just let him bite her, and she liked it. A lot.


She managed to choke out, “I have to go.” She began to pull away, wiping at her neck furiously to catch the blood.


Spike’s look was of total confusion and panic. “What? Why? Did I hurt you, baby?” He moved forward to catch her in his arms, but she pulled away with a sob.


“No, you didn’t,” she replied as she looked for her pants. She wouldn’t look at him. She couldn’t look at the hurt in his eyes or she might break and give in. She had to be strong.


“Buffy! What’s wrong?” he asked desperately.


“I can’t do this,” she choked out a sob. “I have to go, now.”


His panic was at a peak as he grabbed Buffy by the arms and forced her to look at him. He saw the tears gleaming in her eyes and he shook her by the shoulders. “Tell me what’s wrong! Is it because I bit you? I didn’t think it would hurt you, I swear.”


She shook her head and looked away.


He used anger as a cover-up for the unbearable hurt he was feeling. He gritted out, “What the bloody hell is it then?”


She inhaled a deep breath to gather the strength to say, “I don’t think this is going to work out. This,” she pointed between them, “isn’t right.” She flashed him a look of sincere apology, “I’m sorry, Spike.”


His hands dropped to his side in shock as he moved his head back to look at her as if he didn’t hear her correctly. She took this opportunity to dive past him, and ran down the stairs, out of his house.


As Spike came out of his daze, his hurt and anger boiled to the surface, and he picked up the lamp on his nightstand and flung it violently against the mirror, yelling in frustration. The mirror shattered at the center and the lamp broke into pieces, as he fell to his knees and gasped for unnecessary breaths.


-------------------------------------------------------------


A/N: Dun, dun, dun. There’s the first of the angst-anvils. And I stepped up the NC-17 a slight notch – can you tell? I’m going to “Pimp-My-Fic.” Go read my new story: Playing on the Dark Side. Please? Lol, anyway, review and speed the process!

Three long, excruciating days.


For three days, Spike tried to go to Buffy and figure out what was wrong. Each night, he went to her crypt at least twice in a desperate need to see her, but to no avail.


---Three days ago---


He tried to open the crypt door, but it seemed to be barricaded. It only fueled his anger and desperation because he could sense she was there.


“Buffy!” he roared as he slammed his shoulder into her door. It moved ever so slightly, but what ever was blocking it was really heavy. “Let me in, damn it! I know you’re in there!”


As he slammed his shoulder painfully into the door over and over, he sensed her moving away. “Buffy, luv, please let me see you,” he pleaded desperately. He sounded like a lovesick puppy, but at that moment, he couldn’t care less.


When Spike had started pounding on the door, Buffy shrank back against the wall. Her eyes were puffy and she had dark circles under them. She didn’t want to see him, because she knew she would cave. Shutting her eyes, she tried to remain strong. But when she heard her stone barricade begin to move, she panicked.


Looking around, she saw the only way was to go downstairs. ‘The tunnels!’ she remembered suddenly. Looking back one last time at the door with a pained expression, she turned and escaped.


With a last heave, Spike pushed his way into the crypt. “Buffy!” he yelled, more hurt than angry now. His eyes scanned the room until it settled on the ladder. Moving with big strides, he moved his way downstairs, ready to drag her out of there. Eyes confused, he realized she was gone.


--------------------------------------


Now, standing in the cemetery in front of her door, he looked genuinely pissed. Buffy had done the same thing for 3 days, and he ached for her. He hadn’t gotten much sleep – all he thought about was why she would suddenly pull away from him. He smirked as an idea came to him.


Buffy knew she was being avoidant, to say the least, but she didn’t know what to tell him when he knew nothing the truth about her and where she came from. She had been secretly visiting Tara and checking up on the spell, but they told her that the ingredients were taking longer than expected. So in the meantime, she made a significant effort to avoid Spike at all costs.


Buffy sensed him outside of her door, and her heart began to race. He didn’t make an effort to knock or yell for the longest time, and she stepped closer curiously. Then, her senses began to fade, as he seemed to move away. Confused, she frowned. What she was doing was wrong – she needed to be looking for a way home instead of losing herself in Spike – but why did it feel so right?


With a pout, she made her way downstairs to her bedroom. And as soon as she put her foot down on the floor, she was seized by the shoulders and slammed against the wall. She gasped in surprise as Spike’s intensely angry eyes glared at her. Buffy looked around frantically, wondering how he got in.


“Surprised to see me, luv? Didn’t think you could pull the tunnel trick on me forever did you?” his words were laced with bitter hurt.


“Let me go,” she said with closed eyes.


“No.”


“Spike,” her voice wavered.


“Why are you doing this, Buffy?” his voice softened into desperation. His hands ran down her arms, savoring the touch he had been missing for three days. He leaned into her hair and brushed his face up against her cheek with his eyes closed.


She could do nothing but remain there pinned between his body and the wall, heart pounding rapidly at his touch. He brushed her hair away from her neck and looked at his bite marks.
Lightly, Spike ran his fingers over the two closed punctures. She whimpered involuntarily.


“Stop,” she whispered in an unconvincing tone.


“Why?” he asked again, pulling his head back to look at her.


She tried to concentrate on anything else but his fingers brushing against her tender marks. She opened her eyes to look straight in his eyes, and she almost forgot her response at his look of hurt and affection. “We shouldn’t be together.”


“Bollocks,” Spike replied, pissed.


She shook her head vehemently. “I’m the Slayer, Spike, chipped or not. This isn’t right – this isn’t normal,” she convinced herself.


“So what? You suddenly sprang a saintly uptight conscience?” Spike asked incredulously. “I thought we were over this!” He let her go and stepped back, throwing his hands in frustration.


She looked down, avoiding his incriminating gaze.


“Did you plan this?” he gritted out, fists clenched.


“What?” her eyes shot up to his at that. “Plan what??”


He took a stride toward her, stopping inches from her face. “To make me fall in love with you so you could watch me sputter around like a nancy-boy.”


The stubborn part of her felt outraged that he would even suggest something like that. “What? How could you think that?” she ground out in a low, but trembling voice. “Of course I didn’t!”


“Was it revenge?” his voice was laced with anger.


“Revenge?” she asked, confused.


“For when I told you I was using you. Was this your plan to get back at me? Because it bloody well worked. You deserve a sodding oscar for that performance, pet.”


Outraged at his implications, Buffy shot him an angry and hurt look, “You know I wasn’t acting that, Spike.”


“I thought I knew you. I really don’t know anymore,” he replied in defeat. Running his hands through his hair, he turned his back on her and exhaled.


She felt like a knife was shoved through her heart, wishing that she could make it ok.


He spoke as he turned his head slightly, but not turning around, “What do you want, Buffy?”


A long pause passed between them. ‘You,’ Buffy thought to herself as she closed her eyes. Instead she said to him, “I just want to be alone.” She hated herself at that moment. Buffy didn’t realize Spike had left until she opened her eyes to an empty room.


------------------------------------------------------------------


“Finally! We now have all the ingredients,” Willow announced happily. She placed the last jar on the table along with the other ingredients and the spell.


“Are we sure about this?” Tara asked hesitantly.


“Tara, there’s nothing to worry about. Trust me,” Willow comforted.


Tara gave her girlfriend a small smile. In the pit of her stomach, she didn’t like the feeling she got about this spell. It felt like something bad was going to happen.


“So should we go find Spike and Buffy?” Xander asked, walking up to the table.


The door opened and Spike came sauntering in looking like shit.


“Speak of the devil,” Xander joked, but his light expression quickly melted when Spike shot him a glare.


“Any l-luck?” Tara asked with a sympathetic look.


“No,” he grumbled out. “Bloody bitch won’t tell me what’s wrong.”


“Well I still don’t understand what happened,” Anya said. They all gave him questioning looks. All Spike had told them was that Buffy just suddenly didn’t want to see him.


Spike flashed them a look before looking down and lying, “Nothing. We were together and the next minute she freaked out.” He knew what they would say when they find out that he bit her, and he wasn’t willing to admit that, not now when Buffy obviously didn’t want it.


They gave him a suspicious look, but he looked up defensively, “What? Sod off!”


Changing the subject, Giles said, “Well, we’re ready to do the spell now. Shouldn’t one of us go get Buffy?”


Spike scoffed and said, “Good luck trying to get her to open the bloody door.”


“She’ll come around,” Tara offered in a comforting voice, referring to their relationship.


Spike’s jaw was tightly clenched as he looked away, not wanting them to see the emotions in his eyes. Even Xander felt kind of bad for the guy. Spike looked like he just had his heart ripped out, and of course, he was being a big grump for the last three days.


“I’ll be outside,” Spike muttered as he turned to leave.


The door closed behind him and Xander said, “Poor guy, he looks like he’s had his favorite toy taken away.”


The rest of them looked at him incredulously.


“What? It’s an analogy! I’m not calling Buffy a toy!” Xander said defensively.


~


Spike walked outside the Magic Box, and stopped in his tracks as he came face to face with Buffy. Seeing the shocked look on her face and her body tense, he bit out, “Well, goldilocks finally emerges from her cottage. I thought you wanted to be alone?”


“Spike…I-,” she began. Buffy exhaled and tried to relax her body before looking up at him. She felt a stab inside at the look that Spike had given her earlier and was giving her now. It was the same one of anger and hurt, and she knew that she not only caused it, but she couldn’t even give him a real explanation.


With a genuinely remorseful look, she said, “I know I don’t make sense to you right now, but I am sorry. I shouldn’t have let all this happen in the first place.”


He scoffed, “Bollocks. And you know it.” Anger began to build up inside him at her words, and he started pacing back and forth in front of her, “You’re telling me, all of that was just a mistake to you??”


She looked down, averting his incredulous expression.


“You’re bloody unbelievable!” he exclaimed. He yelled out in frustration and pulled on his hair. Exhaling, his angry expression melted into one of defeat. Spike took a big stride forward, bringing himself right up against Buffy.


She was about to move back to put space between them, but Spike grabbed her by both the shoulders and held her still. She tensed, and struggled slightly, but his bruising grip still her.


Spike slowly loosened his tight grip on her shoulders. With one hand still holding her down, he ran his right hand up through her hair and brushed it back, causing her to turn away from his touch.


“Look at me,” he demanded. Slowly, she turned back to look at him in the eyes, afraid that he would see past her silly resolve and discover that she wasn’t too far away from being putty in his hands.


But Spike could see it. He saw the conflicting emotions in her eyes, and knew she didn’t really think it was a mistake. It couldn’t possibly be just the whole vampire-slayer factor. But getting her to admit it is a different thing.


He ran the back of his hand along her cheek, and she closed her eyes at his touch. Spike leaned in and pleaded, “Tell me what’s wrong, luv. Whatever it is, we’ll make it work.”


She had to control herself from letting out a choked sound. Then she began to panic as Spike gazed at her lips and started to lean in towards her. Buffy moved back, but Spike pulled her to him and captured her lips in a needy kiss.


At first, she made a muffled protest into his mouth, but his persistent caresses made her melt against him and soon she began to return the kiss without resistance, completely forgetting this is exactly what she was supposed to stop doing.


Her hands came up behind his neck and pulled him closer, allowing him to deepen the kiss and feel her body flush against his. The sexual frustration that they had been containing for the past few days was suddenly let out as their tongues intermingled and their hands roamed over each other’s bodies.


“Mm,” Buffy moaned into him, causing his arousal to harden even more.


Inside, Spike felt a wave of relief that he had finally gotten her back in his arms, and he craved the feel of skin against his. He grabbed her ass and hoisted her up, bringing her legs to wrap around his waist.


Their little romp was suddenly interrupted as the Magic Box door opened to reveal Xander, Anya, and Willow looking out to see what was going on.


Willow blushed and Xander looked disgusted as he shielded his eyes. “Oh holy mother of-“


Anya just beamed and said, “I knew there would be more orgasms in their future!”


Spike and Buffy pulled apart, panting slightly. Still carrying Buffy, Spike gave them the most annoyed look at the intrusion. Buffy looked sheepish as she slid her body down to the ground.


“What?” Spike barked.


“Um, well, we were just going to tell you that the spell is ready,” Willow answered.


“So are you guys back together?” Xander asked.


Spike looked at Buffy with a questioning and hopeful look. Buffy looked between all of their expectant faces before turning back to Spike. She asked, “Can we just talk about this after the spell?”


He looked disappointed at first, but quickly masked his expression and gave her a reassuring smile. “Sure, luv. Let’s go.” At least she wasn’t saying no.


-------


Tara and Giles heard what was going on outside, and Tara was relieved to see Spike and Buffy walk in together. Her expression flickered with curiosity as she caught a glimpse of two marks on Buffy’s neck as her hair moved slightly away from her neck. She kept it to herself, for now.


“So we’re good to go?” Buffy asked as she walked over to the circle they had set up on the floor and looked down at the ingredients.


“Yea, all set,” Tara replied, pretending she didn’t see anything. Willow and Tara sat down on the ground as the others backed up to give them room.


“Is that a cauldron??” Buffy asked, surprised.


“I know, what kind of medieval spell is this?” Willow joked.


“You just need some big green warts and you’re all set,” Xander added.


Tara and Willow began putting the ingredients in one at a time.


“Isn’t it supposed to go ‘poof’ or something?” Buffy questioned.


Willow and Tara shrugged. They put in the last ingredient, the silver trinket, and nothing happened.


“Do we stir?” Willow asked with a frown.


“I don’t know...,” Tara replied, hesitant.


“Oh! I know,” Willow straightened herself up and put her hand over the cauldron. “Certamen, agon!” [Combine!]


The cauldron began to glow, and the rest of them stepped away. Willow and Tara jumped back in their sitting position when the paper with the spell began to rise off the ground. It floated in the air and turned itself so Willow could view it in front of her. Gold glowing lines flew across the page in cursive as everyone starred at it with wide-eyes.


“What does it say?” Giles inquired, truly intrigued at this sight.


“This spell…will reveal the person…who does not belong… in your dimension,” Willow squinted as she tried to decipher. “…If someone is revealed to you, then the use of….the Rajendra Gem has already…begun.” The gold writing continued on and wrote out the spell.


Buffy’s mind seemed to click at the words. Her eyes widened. The person who does not belong in your dimension. She went into panic-mode and began to step back.


Spike looked at her expression quizzically and reached out to touch her, but she pulled back suddenly. Hurt and worry crept into him, but Buffy just drew back more.


“Ahh, it has to do with the gem,” Giles said as understanding dawned on him.


“Should I continue?” Willow asked excitedly.


“No!” Buffy blurted out. They all turned to look at her.


“Why not?” Giles asked.


Her mouth opened to give a response, but she was having trouble. “Well…what, what if it’s dangerous?”


“It’s not dangerous if it’s only going to tell us if the gem is in use,” Willow pointed out.


Buffy had nothing else she could say, and she began to breathe heavily as the room started to whirl around her in panic. Spike sensed her turmoil and walked over to her, putting his arms around her with a worried expression. “What’s wrong, luv?”


She didn’t answer, but her heart continued to beat rapidly as Willow started reciting,


“Nos precor vox of gemma ,
ostendo sum unus quisnam steps ex alius regnum,”
[We invoke the powers of the gem,
reveal the one who steps from another realm.]


The intensity of the light coming from the cauldron grew as Willow continued,


“Nos dico super thee ,
ostendo nos solus unus quisnam can reperio refero!”
[We call upon thee,
show us the only one who can find the answer!]


As a flash went off through the room, Buffy pushed back violently against Spike, falling to the ground. The others stood up, eyes wide in shock as Buffy looked up at them from the ground, dressed in completely different clothes. She looked disheveled and dirty. Her hair was in disarray and her skin was tainted with dirt. Most of all, there seemed to be a force field around her, flickers going off at the edges.


“Bu-,” Spike began hesitantly.


She shot him a glare and spat out, “What the hell did you guys do to me?!”


His eyes flickered with confusion as he looked her over. This wasn’t his Buffy. Her demeanor was different, less calm, less…good.


He eyed her suspiciously. “Who are you and what did you do with Buffy?” he demanded as the entire room vamped out in understanding.


“I AM Buffy, you idiot!” she yelled furiously. “Where did you send me?? Was this some sort of sick way of getting rid of me just because I said I love you??” She was the Buffy from the day Spike had rejected her proclamation of love – the day right before she showed up on his porch all crazy.



Spike’s head reeled with confusion. His mind slowly traced back to that day, when Buffy had shown up on his porch and claimed amnesia. They had all let it fly by with no questions asked, and his mouth opened in realization as he remembered the words of the spell: This spell will reveal the person who does not belong in your dimension.


‘Buffy’ moved forward, but as she hit the force-field, another big flash went off, blinding everyone. The paper with the spell fell to the ground, and the cauldron stopped glowing.


Opening their eyes and readjusting, they saw that the magic had ended and Buffy was in a heap on the ground. In her regular clothes and sans-dirt.


Looking up in a confused dazed, Buffy’s watery eyes searched for understanding of what just happened. Tremors ran through her body. For a minute, she had slipped out of reality and into a dream where she was in a cave. Now, she was back in the Magic Box gazing at their vamped out faces.


“What just happened?” she choked out. She felt lightheaded and the tears were filling her eyes, blinding her vision. She blinked them away to focus on the image of Spike in front of her.


“Who the bloody hell are you?” Spike demanded as everyone remained on guard. His fist was clenched and his body ready to attack if she turned out to be some evil force.


“Spike?” Buffy asked with confused eyes. She looked at his demeanor, as well as everyone else’s, and they were ready to rush her.


“You’re not from this world,” Giles pieced it together. “That’s why you couldn’t remember things about us before…”


Spike growled in warning and they all stepped forward.


Buffy shook her head vehemently, “I can explain!” Her head pounded as she tried to calm herself down.


“That’s why you seemed different…and you thought you had a soul…,” Tara said in her own revelation.


“Everything makes so much sense now,” Xander said with a furrowed brow. “You not knowing about vampires being good, about Angel, about everything!”


“Why are you here?” Giles asked sternly.


Tears began to roll down Buffy’s cheek. “I don’t know!” she choked out. “I just woke up one day and I was here.”


She wiped furiously at the tears in her eyes. She felt like all of her aggravation about being stuck here was finally coming out. Buffy had let herself live a fantasy world in order to compensate for the utter sense of hopelessness. Now, not only did desperation fill her with a need to go home, but she also felt remorse for lying to them all. Lying to Spike.


“So what the hell were you doing this whole time?” Spike yelled. “Messing with my head??”


She looked guilty and started to say, “I didn’t mean to-,”


“Get out.”


She looked up at him in alarm. His eyes were filled with fury and his entire body was tense. Buffy saw the betrayed look, and she closed her eyes as she felt a pang of guilt.


“GET OUT!” Spike roared as he picked up a chair and threw it across the room, smashing it against the wall.


Buffy flinched and got up quickly, shooting him one last look of regret before she turned her back and left. As the tears were sliding down her face, she realized why it hurt so much. She was in love with Spike.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------


A/N: Buffy just likes to leave at the end of the chapters – what can I do? Don’t flame me. Can I offer a pebble by reminding you that it’s a happy ending eventually? Lol. Review but don’t flame :) Maybe low simmers with affectionate undertones?

Buffy stood on the porch nervously wringing her fingers. She has wearing a loose sweater and some jeans, with her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. Her eyes showed that she hadn’t been sleeping well the past few days. Mostly, it was because Spike refused to be anywhere near her, even when she had gone back the day after the spell to try and explain everything properly.


She just stood there trying to collect herself, working up the nerve to confront something she just wanted to avoid. But as much as she wanted to be avoid-y Buffy, she knew she owed Spike an explanation.


Then, Buffy could hear their voices inside.


“Tell her to bugger off!” Spike yelled to Dawn.


“Why don’t you tell her yourself, you jerk?” Dawn retorted defiantly. She crossed her arms across her chest and gave him a knowing look. “She’s obviously here to apologize so why don’t you just stop being childish??”


“Childish!? I have a perfectly good reason to not want to see her!” Spike exclaimed incredulously. “I don’t even know who she really is! She’s not even real!”


Dawn kicked Spike in the leg.


“Ow. What the bloody hell is that for?”


“You deserve it, you big goon. She’s real enough to care about us, to care about you,” Dawn pointed out.


“She could be evil!” Spike defended.


“Yes, the evil Buffy comes from a world where she is actually good and then because she’s so evil, she likes to eat ice cream with me and mom, and walk me home at night, and save your friends’ lives, and make-googly eyes at you all the time, and-,”


“Ok! Bloody hell! If I open the sodding door will you leave me alone??”


“Mission accomplished,” Dawn smiled as she bounced away.


Spike muttered under his breath at his annoying lil’ sis and went over to the door reluctantly. Without opening the door, he yelled, “What do you want?”


Buffy hesitated at first because she had heard everything they were saying. Spike still sounded really pissed, but she just couldn’t wuss out now. “Spike, I need to talk to you.”


“So talk,” Spike replied through the door, leaning against it.


“Can…Can you open the door?” Buffy asked.


Spike clenched his jaw as he braced himself. Closing his eyes, he reached to open the door. And when he opened his eyes, he knew it was a mistake. His resistance wavered at the mere sight of her, dark circles under her eyes, and a sad expression that made him want to reach out and touch her. But he had to remind himself that it had all been a trick – none of it was real. ‘Don’t cave, you git,’ he thought to himself.


Buffy felt like someone had just punched her in the gut. Seeing his disheveled appearance and knowing that she caused it sent another wave of guilt through her. Most of all, the cold stare he was giving her made her bit her lip in remorse.


“Are you here to ‘explain’?” he asked sardonically. “Because the others filled me in. Whole reverse world mumbo jumbo. Got it. Is that it?”


“No,” she shook her head. “I came because I owe you an apology. A real apology.”


He raised his brow in interest and crossed his arms to signal for her to continue.


“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth in the beginning,” she looked down in shame. She didn’t continue right away, struggling with the right words as she felt foolish for standing here in front of him.


He scoffed. “Do you think that will make it better for you to say you’re sorry?”


“Will you just let me finish?” she exasperated. With a frustrated look, she continued, “I mean, I tried to tell the others before and they just laughed in my face! I knew you wouldn’t believe me anyway. You guys thought I was crazy!”


“You ARE crazy!” Spike exclaimed. “You come in from some alternate dimension and then you start playing along??” He gave her an incredulous and questioning look. Shaking his head in disbelief, he calmed himself down. “Why?”


Buffy looked up with a frown. She knew he was talking about them. “Because…,” her voice trailed. “Because it felt real.”


“Yea, sure fooled me too,” Spike bit back. “But it’s not, is it?”


“I wanted it to be,” she said with downcast eyes.


“Tell it to someone who cares.”


Stung by his words, anger and hurt swirled in her mind. She fought back the stinging feeling in her eyes.


“You cared. You said you were in love with me,” Buffy accused.


“It was a mistake,” he replied evenly. He had to struggle to force his face to remain expressionless, but his insides were tearing apart at the sight of her. However, his demeanor remained cold and un-feeling as he shut the door in her face.


Stunned and hurt by the door in her face, she pressed her eyes together. She stood there for a few long moments. Before turning away to leave the porch, she said quietly, “I…I love you.” They were words she thought she would never say again, especially to Spike, but she knew they meant good-bye.


His undead heart ached at her barely-audible words. Slumping his back against the door, Spike slid down to the ground and closed his eyes. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration and hung his head as he tried to fight the urge to go after her.


-----------------------------------------------------------------


“Spike! I’m glad you’re here! Look what I made,” Willow beamed as she thrust a tray in front of Spike’s face.


“Cupcakes?” he questioned as he gave her a look.


“Yea! I thought some of your favorite baked goods might make you feel better?” she asked meekly. Seeing his disinterested look, her shoulders slumped. “Ok, it was a stupid idea. But you gotta admit, they sure are pretty! Are you sure you don’t want one??”


“No, thanks, Red,” he replied as he plopped down in a chair.


“I’ll take one!” Xander said cheerily. He grabbed one from the tray and started to devour it.


“Well, I’ll just put one riiight here in case you want it,” Willow said as she placed a cupcake right in front of him on the table.


“So, I’m guessing you didn’t talk to Buffy?” Tara asked with a sympathetic look.


“We talked,” Spike replied.


Xander gave him a questioning look. “Anddd?”


“And nothing. I listened, she left.”


“She didn’t apologize?” Anya questioned.


“She did. And why should I bloody care?”


“Well, good point. Now that we know she belongs in a whole different dimension, we have to find a way to send her back,” Xander added as he bit his cupcake.


“It’s not that simple,” Giles joined in. “We don’t even know how yet. All we know is something about Buffy needing to find the truth and to eliminate the cause of the gem’s use.”


“Yea, sure, that, and the problem that Spike’s head over heels in love with her,” Anya stated.


“I’m not in love with her,” he ground out in a low voice.


Everyone looked at him with disbelieving expressions.


“I’m NOT!” he yelled at their staring faces.


“T-then why did you c-claim her?” Tara dared to ask.


“Whaaaaat?” Xander asked as he dropped his chocolate-y snack. The room was filled with shocked looks.


“You claimed her?” Giles asked with interest.


“I didn’t claim her!” Spike defended.


“I saw the bite marks, Spike,” Tara dared to say again. He shot her a glare and she gave him a look of apology for tattling.


“Why didn’t you tell me?” Willow pouted to her girlfriend.


“Whoa ho ho! You claimed her?!” Anya asked, amazed.


He shook his head in frustration and said, “It wasn’t a claim. It was something that happened in the moment, alright?!”


“I’m sorry. Let’s backtrack. You bit Buffy while you two were having sex,” Xander made a face, “and now you think it’s not a claim? That’s sort of the definition of a claim.”


“Whatever. Think what you want. She’s not even really the Buffy we know. It was all a bunch of wonky magic,” he finished.


“No, she’s not the Buffy we knew. She’s a force of good in her realm,” Giles commented.


“Also known as, the one you fell in love with,” Anya finished.


“I’m not in love with her.”


“If you weren’t, then you wouldn’t have claimed her. And it’s a claim, alright,” Xander said as he nodded.


“No, it’s not, you whelp,” Spike said in a pissed tone.


“We don’t bite people unless we’re desperately hungry for a snack,” he pointed out. He added, “and you bit her during sex.” Xander saw Spike’s stubborn look and wanted to push the subject. Looking down at the table, he saw the cupcake and grabbed it.


“Hey! That’s mine, you git!” Spike exclaimed.


Xander ignored him and continued, “If I lick this cupcake, would you still want it?”


“What!?” Spike asked at the ridiculous question.


“If I lick it like this,” he ran his tongue across the top frosting, “aren’t I saying it belongs to me and you can’t have it?”


“What kind of sick analogy is that?” Spike demanded to know.


“In a weird disturbing way, that kind of makes sense,” Giles said in a surprised tone.


“Are you off your rocker!?” Spike exasperated.


“Dude, you claimed her. End of story. And as much as I was against this whole thing between you two, I gotta say, she’s yours now.”


“She’s not mine,” he gritted out.


“Uh-huh, yea, ok. So, if she went out right now and hooked up with someone else, it wouldn’t bother you?” Xander questioned.


“She can do what ever the hell she wants,” Spike replied.


“So let’s say…Mike, for example, tried to claim her today? You wouldn’t care at all?” Xander continued with an unbelieving look.


Spike growled involuntarily. But he suppressed his initial reaction and answered tightly, “No.”


The rest of them gave each other pointed looks. Xander looked back to Spike and shrugged. “Fine, man. If you say so.”


As plain as day, Spike’s emotions were playing across his face because he knew Xander was right, for once.


----------------------------------------------------------------


Kerala’s expression was one of pure anger. “Those stupid do-gooders told them to use the spell!! Argh!!”


“They know the truth now, which can only mean they will get closer to finding us out. We must move now,” he pressed.


She nodded, “Let’s finish this.”


--------------------------------------------------------------


Buffy was walking back to her crypt, thinking about how she was going to deal with this – if she would ever get back, and if she did, how she could ever forget what had happened here. Nothing was ever going to be the same, and it scared her. ‘This would be so much easier if this were just a dream,’ she thought sadly. But she knew it wasn’t and a part of her knew it was too real, it felt too real. Sighing, Buffy continued walking and clutched her arms around herself as the chilly wind blew through the cemetery.


She paused in her steps, thinking she felt her vamp sense tingling for a second. Focusing in, Buffy frowned when she lost the feeling. She turned around and scanned the area, looking for any signs of movement. Suspiciously, she turned back and resumed walking.



Buffy was sure she was being followed. Normally back home, she would just stop, lure the guy out, and kick his ass. Here all she could do was keep walking and hope to get back to her crypt. That disturbing feeling of helplessness crept back into her and the panic began to build up. This time, Spike wouldn’t be there to protect her. He was probably on the other side of town, still seething at her.


Buffy quickened her steps, as her heart started to pound faster. She turned to look behind her, but no one was there. When she turned back around, she came face to face with four vamps.


“Slayer,” one of them greeted as they all moved in closer with menacing steps.


“What do you want?” Buffy asked with hesitation in her voice.


“You,” another one leered. He lunged forward to grab her by the waist. Buffy’s fist reflexively shot up to hit him in the face, sending a blinding pain through her head as she cried out and bent over. As she clutched her head, she felt a swift foot kick into her stomach. Buffy groaned while the vampires came to circle around her. One of them lunged forward and she braced herself and spun around, kicking him down. She cried out, gasping for air as the jolts of electricity seared her head. The vamps growled as they approached her, knocking her down with kicks and punches until she was curled up on the ground.


“Enough,” a voice said from behind them. Buffy clutched at her stomach and squinted to try and see the ascending figure. The dark figure was robed and hooded. Before Buffy could speak a word or move, it grabbed her by the collar and smashed its fist into her face intensely, knocking her unconscious.


~


Dawn’s head was reeling with panicked thoughts, as she watched the gang of vampires approach Buffy. She had followed her, hoping to talk to her back at the crypt, but when the four vamps came out, she quickly ran to hide behind a bush in the distance.


‘Oh my god oh my god,’ she cried to herself. Dawn felt torn between leaping out in a reckless attempt to help her, and running to get the others. When she saw the fifth person come out of the darkness and knock Buffy unconscious, her eyes widened and she turned to run for help.


~


“I don’t know, guys,” Willow’s expression was crestfallen. “I can’t seem to find anything else about this whole gem/Buffy/magicky reversal thing…”


Everyone sighed, exhausted after all their failed attempts at figuring out the whole gem thing.


“Well, why don’t we-,” Tara began, but was interrupted by the door suddenly flinging open,

An out-of-breath Dawn came running in, frantically flailing her arms up in the arm and gesturing towards the outside.


“What?” Spike looked concerned as he stood up to walk over to his sister. The others furrowed their brows in worry and moved closer.


Dawn continued to make a series of unrecognizable sounds as she panted. “Trouble…cemetery…,” she uttered in between breaths.


“Dawn, what is it?” Spike said more urgently as he gave her a slight shake of the shoulders.


“Hold on,” she said, regaining her breath.


“Um, Dawn. You don’t breathe,” Xander commented.


Dawn shot Xander a glare before Spike grabbed her again and demanded, “Dawn! What the bloody hell is wrong? Is it mum? Are you hurt?”


“No, no, it’s not that! Buffy’s in trouble!” Dawn exclaimed in a rush.


Spike’s expression flickered with worry, but he quickly put on an even face. “Bloody hell, is that it? What did she do now-,”


“Stop being a jackass! She’s really in trouble! I was following her in the cemetery and then four vamps popped out and then I had to hide and, and they attacked her and some creepy person in a robe knocked her out and they took her! We have to go save her!” She finished her rant with despaired and urgent look.


Despite his earlier façade, Spike felt intense panic and worry build up inside him as Dawn was relaying her story. They could have done anything to her by now. Fury ran through his veins as the thought of one of them touching her came to his mind.


He knew right then that Buffy really was his. The worry was etched on his face, and his stomach was clenched tightly. “Where. Did. They. Take. Her.”


Dawn shook her head violently. “I don’t know. I ran straight here to come get you guys.”


“We’ll do a locating spell,” Tara said as both witches already started gathering the materials.


Without another word, Spike started to march for the door with a determined stride. “Spike!” Xander yelled.


Xander ran to hold Spike back by the arm and Spike growled, shooting him a warning look.


“You don’t even know where she is. If you want to help her, wait for Tara and Willow to finish the spell.”


“Spike, Xander’s right,” Giles blinked at the words he was saying. He seemed to be agreeing a lot with Xander lately, and it was kind of unsettling. He continued, “It would be useless for you to go out and rampage all of Sunnydale looking for her.”


Knowing they were right, he slammed his fist violently into the wall and yelled in frustration. The others jumped up a little from the outburst, but they all had a sympathetic look on their faces. It was obvious just how much Spike cared, even though only a little while ago, he was denying it all.


Spike refused to imagine that she was dead. He paced up and down the Magic Box, impatiently waiting for the witches to be done. For the umpteenth time, he barked, “Are you bloody done yet?” Seeing their faces, his expression softened and he said, “I’m sorry. I’m just…” He clenched his jaw as the emotions showed on his face.


“We know, Spike. It’s ok,” Tara replied sympathetically.


“Done!” Willow exclaimed in victory as the crystal stopped and pointed to a spot on the map.


“Where is she?” Spike asked urgently, rushing forward to look.


Everyone gathered around as Willow’s face showed her confusion.


“What, what?? The suspense is killing me!” Anya cried.


“The crystal is pointing to the caves at the end of the woods,” Willow replied hesitantly.


“Well, what the hell are we waiting for?” Spike asked. Willow pointed and everyone leaned in to look. There was a second glowing spot on the map. It was glowing over where the Magic Box would be, where they were right now.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------


A/N: Quite some action-filled chapters coming up. To address something that’s been on my mind forever, I know Buffy seems OOC, but I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because we never saw Buffy be that nice to Spike on the show so it’s hard to imagine it. Also, she can be less uptight in reverse world because she thinks it won’t matter in the end. Sound justified? Anyway, please continue to leave me inspiring reviews!

“Why are there two spots on the map?” Tara frowned in confusion.


“Don’t care. You don’t see her around here, do you?” Spike’s voice rose in impatient anger. Without wasting another second, he started to gather some weapons and storm out the door.


“Spike! Wait for us!” Willow, Xander, Anya, and Tara were running after him, grabbing weapons hastily.


“Um, right. I’ll just wait here and research a dot,” Giles said to no one.


He ignored them behind him - his only thought was to get to the caves. With each quickening step, he began to worry more. ‘This wouldn’t have happened if…,’ he closed his eyes as he cracked his tense neck, and moved faster, the gang trailing after him. The guilt from the way he treated her earlier ran through his mind. He couldn’t lose her. Not now.


~


She groaned in pain as her eyes began to flutter open. Her face felt like it was pounding and she felt a sharp pull at her wrists. Buffy opened her eyes to find herself in a dimly lit cave.


Confusion spread over her face as she pulled and looked up to see the chains above her head. ‘What the hell?’ Her eyes shot around in panic, searching for any signs of her assailants, but it was dead quiet, except for the burning of a torch and the occasional echoed drop of water.


She pulled on her restraints, but the chains only creaked and jangled in resistance. After it wouldn’t seem to budge, Buffy gave it one last heave as she scrunched her face in effort. She slumped in defeat.


Buffy closed her eyes and exhaled. Then she heard a noise. Her eyes shot open as a humming/vibrating noise reached her ears. Looking over to her right, she saw a jewel of some sort, sitting in the wall of the cave, and it seemed to be glowing. She furrowed her brows in confusion, as the intensity of the light grew.


The sound of a footstep made her head snap up to look in front of her, at the opening of the cave. Standing just beyond the arch of the ‘doorway,’ was the dark, hooded figure.


Buffy instinctively began struggling with her chains as she demanded, “Who are you? Why the hell did you bring me here?”


The figure didn’t answer. It began to step forward across the arch, and a force field wavered as the form entered the main room. Buffy’s brows furrowed, and she began to panic inwardly. Obviously, she wasn’t just dealing with vampires, she was dealing with magic – two things she couldn’t handle on her own.


The figure’s hands went up to its hood, and slowly lifted it backwards, taking off the robe and revealing a raven-haired woman. She had sleek, long hair, and piercing grey eyes. She appeared to be an exotic-looking Indian woman. In a strange way, she seemed familiar, and Buffy couldn’t put her finger on why. Buffy glared at the woman suspiciously as she began to move toward her.


“Who are you? ‘I Dream of Jeanie?’” Buffy asked sarcastically as she eyed the woman’s outfit. She was wearing something that resembled the risqué outfits of a belly dancer.


“I’m Kerala,” she answered with a calculating smile. “And I’d be careful of what you say to me.” Her eyes darkened in warning.


“What the hell do you want?” Buffy spat out.


“A lot of things. World domination…the death of all petty do-gooders…which means, you, dead.”


“What?” Buffy looked annoyed. “What are you talking about? How do you have anything to do with me?”


“Oh plenty, slayer,” Kerala answered as she came to stand a few feet away from Buffy.


“Well do you mind explaining??” Buffy rolled her eyes in irritation. ‘This chick has got to be kidding me.’


“But it’s so much more fun to watch you reel around in confusion,” she answered with smirk, “I’ve gotta say, I do brilliant work.”


Buffy looked confused for a moment, until the words registered their meaning. Her eyes widened in disbelief. “You’re the one that did this to me? That sent me here??” Buffy’s voice was incredulous.


Kerala gave her a bitchy smile, “You’re welcome.”


Buffy lunged forward, only to be yanked back by her chains. She was glaring icily at Kerala. “Why are you doing this??”


“I told you. Rid the world of pesky humans,” she replied with annoyance.


“So what the hell are you supposed to be then?”


“I’m not a human, I’m the Goddess Kerala,” she snapped.


Buffy’s eyes seemed to scan the air as her mind tried to figure out all the conflicting thoughts. She looked up at her with furrowed brows, and asked, “Are you supposed to be that one goddess and her stupid gem thing-y?” She turned to look at the jewel that was still glowing in its place. “That…that Agenda Gem?”


“It’s Rajendra, you brainless human,” Kerala snapped.


“So what, you just did some magic with a gem and managed to suck me into an alternate dimension?” Buffy looked unconvinced.


“It’s not some gem. It’s thousands of years old, forged by the Gods themselves.”


“And anyone who finds it can just pop it in and flip my life around for a good laugh??”


“Ha, that’s the best part. I couldn’t have done it all on my own…”


Buffy gave her an impatient glare. Kerala continued, “The gem can work for either good or evil, but it must be ordered by a wish of justice. Meaning, your vampire wished you would stop being a bitch and see how it feels to be in his shoes, loosely translated, of course.”


Buffy’s mouth gaped open. Somehow she had guessed this would be Spike’s doing, but she never had enough proof, only a hunch. “Why am I not surprised?” she asked as she looked up in the air in exasperation. Looking back down to glare at Kerala, she asked bitterly, “So all of this is some kind of twisted vengeance spell??”


“Hardly. He has no idea that he did anything. I saw an outlet, I took it.”


“I don’t get it. Why didn’t you just try to kill me in the real world. Why go to all this trouble?” Buffy asked, thoroughly confused.


Kerala exhaled and rolled her eyes. “Because I didn’t come back to kill just you, I came back so I could alter the course of events that you caused.”


“Huh?” Buffy looked at her like she wasn’t making any sense.


“Let me spell it out for you. I’m. From. The. Future.” Kerala spoke as if she was talking to a five-year-old.


“You’re from the future?? What-,” Buffy paused in disbelief. Her mind flickered back to what Kerala had said. “Wait, what did I cause??”


“See for yourself,” she said with a calculating smile as she grabbed the side of Buffy’s head with both hands. Buffy cried out as a searing pain shot through her head. When her eyes closed in reaction, an image flashed through her mind.


She was standing in a graveyard, facing a group of young girls that she didn’t recognize. She started speaking to them.


“You're right. You don't have slayer strength. But that doesn't mean that you're not strong. You have inherent abilities that others do not have. You have the potential.”


Another flash, and Buffy’s body surged up in pain.


She stood before a gaping crater, observing the flood of creatures that seemed to crawling their way over to them. The first flood of ubervamps reached them, and all hell broke loose. Her mind was anticipating the moment when Willow’s spell would work. They needed it to work. And then something ran through the air, and she felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.


Buffy made an incoherent sound as Kerala’s hands remained firmly grasping her head.


They were standing there, staring at the ruin. Willow turned to her.


“We changed the world. I can feel them, Buffy. All over. Slayers are awakening everywhere.”


She didn’t answer, but inside, she was smiling.


Kerala retracted her hands, and Buffy slumped down, gasping for air. The chains kept her from collapsing, and she dangled down, out of breath. With involuntary tears in her eyes, she looked up at Kerala with a look of astonishment.


“That’s what happens?” Buffy’s voice was small, almost a whisper.


“Yes. You and your gang of friends unleashed all the potentials and made them slayers,” Kerala answered bitterly.


Still dazed, Buffy tried to process all the questions that were running through her head. The intense sense of relief she had gotten from the last image warmed her heart, but there was also another feeling there. One of sorrow – like she had lost something, and she didn’t quite understand it.


She spoke again. “So…you decided to come back to change it? So you could take over the world?”


“No. They sought me out so I could take care of you for them, and the line of potentials will stay powerless,” she smiled evilly.


“They?”


“The lords of the demon world.”


Buffy’s eyes blinked and her forehead scrunched in disbelief. “The lords of the demon world??? What the hell kind of lame ass title is that?? I bet that’s some kind of nerdy demon club.”


Kerala rolled her eyes. She stepped closer and her voice became dangerously low. “Call it whatever you want. The bottom line is, everyone wants you dead, and now you’re all alone with no way out.”


Buffy glared at her, refusing to be intimated by this woman.


Kerala just gave Buffy a quick bitchy smile and turned to leave.


“Hey! You can’t just leave me here!” Buffy screamed as she struggled against the chains.


Kerala was crossing the barrier at the arch, and Buffy stopped her yelling as her eyes widened in confusion. Slowly, Kerala’s hair turned blonde, starting from the top, and as she stepped over the barrier, her skin transformed from dark to light, her clothes changing as they touched the magic field.


“What the hell…” Buffy whispered as her face remained in shock.


The woman turned around, and her grey eyes shown with amusement. “I bet you didn’t see that one coming, did you?”


Buffy stuttered, “What…How…” She was at a loss for words.


“I’ll be back…to kill you,” Leanna answered with a cocky smirk as she turned and left a bewildered and livid Buffy chained in the cave.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I've been waiting to reveal that for forever! Anyone guess it??

--------------------------------------------------------------------


“Spike!” Leanna yelled as she ran up to them. “Spike!” She quickly caught up to him, but he didn’t stop. The others trailed behind, breathing unnecessarily in a dramatic display of exhaustion.


“I don’t have time for this, Leanna,” Spike ground out, mind set on one thing: Buffy.


Grabbing his free arm tightly, she yanked him around to face her. “It’s about Buffy, you idiot,” she stated with an annoyed voice.


Spike growled, eyes flashing yellow as he stepped closer to her and gripped her arm fiercely, while his other one held onto the axe, “What about Buffy?”


Leanna looked at where his arms gripped her, a pissed expression on her face. She pushed him off roughly and spat out, “Maybe you shouldn’t man handle the people who are trying to help.” She turned to walk away angrily, but Spike suddenly appeared in front of her.


“What. Do. You. Know.” Spike’s fists were clenched, his patience running very low.


Crossing her arms over her chest, Leanna put on a bitchy expression. “I was going to tell you that she’s in trouble, but since you’re being such a jackass, I’ll just let your little lover bunny get gutted into pieces,” she finished with a cold look in her eyes.


Her words made his stomach churn and he had to fight the intense anger that ran through his whole body. He rotated his neck in a tense motion, and clenched his jaw to hold himself back from lashing out at her.



In the background, Anya turned to Xander with a concerned look, “Why would she call Buffy a bunny? Why?? Why would she do that?”


Xander made soothing noises, trying to hush his worried girlfriend.


Emotions in control, Spike opened his eyes to look back at Leanna. His voice tight, but calmer, he said, “I’m sorry. Just tell me what you know.”


Leanna faked an indecisive expression, looking away from Spike as if considering whether to forgive him or not. The rest of the gang just rolled their eyes at her display. She sighed dramatically and relented, “I saw these guys ambush her when I was patrolling in the cemetery.”


“Did you see where they went?” Spike’s voice was impatient and urgent.


“I tried to run after them, but I lost them in the woods,” she explained. “And you better appreciate my effort because there are twigs all over my hair.”


“I don’t see anything,” Xander commented with a confused look.


“Well there were. Look, see,” Leanna added as she plucked an imaginary twig out of her hair and let it all to the ground.


“What? I don’t see any-,” Xander began.


“Oh who bloody cares!?” Spike yelled.


“Xander, shh,” Willow admonished with a whisper. He put up his hands defensively and shrugged, as if asking what he did wrong.


“Did you see anything else?” Spike asked tersely.


“No.”


“Alright, let’s go then. You can show us in which neck of the woods they went,” he stated, beginning to turn around and expecting them to follow.


When Leanna didn’t move, he stopped and turned around with an annoyed expression. “What?”


She rolled her eyes in disgust. “Why do *I* have to go? I hate the bitch, remember? You should give me a freakin’ medal for caring enough to tell you.”


“Leanna…,” Spike said in a warning voice.


She remained stubborn a minute, before exclaiming, “Oh alright! God! I’ll help you find the shrew.”


“Great, Leanna’s coming. It’ll be a class field trip,” Xander said sarcastically as they all began to walk toward the woods again.



Leanna walked next to Spike, a secret smirk on her face that no one saw.



Tara remained quiet, an uneasy feeling had washed over her ever since Leanna showed up with her news.


~


“Which way are we going?” Willow asked as the group approached the beginning of the caves.


“That way.” Leanna pointed to the right.


“Are you sure?” Tara asked tentatively, a worried look on her face. Something wasn’t right.


Leanna rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure. I saw them turn right and I was chasing them for a little while, but I couldn’t find where they disappeared to – they must have turned into an entrance I don’t know about.”


“You’re positive?” Spike pressed.


“You know what?? Go wherever the hell you want. It’s obvious no one thinks I’m smart enough to remember which direction I ran in!” Leanna exploded, her eyes shining with anger.


“I don’t have time for your bloody outbursts, Leanna,” Spike warned in a low voice.


The two were glaring at each other, and the others backed up in response. Tara’s eyes flickered back and forth between them, deciding to intervene lest they waste more time while Buffy was still in danger. “W-Why don’t we go right first and make our way over?”


“If we want to save Buffy, you two are going to need to cool it,” Xander reprimanded.


Spike and Leanna remained glaring at each other, and Leanna crossed her arms and raised her brow, challenging him.


“Let’s just go,” Spike’s voice was tight with anger.


After a last glare, she spat out in agreement, “Fine.” She stormed past him to lead the way.


Little did they know that on the inside, she was anything but angry. ‘This is so easy,’ she thought to herself happily. ‘Soon, the bitch will be dead.’


~


They wandered the caves, listening to the dead silence. Once in a while, they heard a rat scurry across the floor.


Spike didn’t have a good feeling. He was sensing that they were heading in the wrong direction. He furrowed his brow, looking at the ‘fork in the road.’ “I think we should go to the left.”


“Well, I think we should go to the right,” Leanna opposed.


Spike looked irritated. “How about you go to the right and I’ll go left?”


“How about I go home?” Leanna snapped.


“Look,” he exasperated, “I just have a feeling that she’s this way, ok?”


Leanna raised her brow, “You have a feeling?”


“Well, probably the clai-,” Xander opened his mouth before thinking. He didn’t finish his sentence, looking caught, his mouth still open. Spike shot him a deadly glare.


Leanna’s eyes widened in fury as she realized what Xander was about to say. “WHAT!? You CLAIMED her??”


Knowing it was useless, Spike exhaled. “Bollocks.” He turned to Xander again and gritted out, “I’m going to bloody kill you later.”


Xander laughed nervously and stepped back. Anya rubbed her hand on his back comfortingly, “I’m gonna miss you.”


Tara and Willow gave Xander a sad smile, making him gulp.


“Well??” Leanna badgered. “How could you?? A human for God’s sake! That is SO sick!” She yelled out in anger, hands fisted at her side.


“It’s really none of your bloody business, Leanna,” Spike snapped. “Can I hear you rant about this later? I have something more important to do right now.”


She moved her head back, as if he hit her. Narrowing her eyes, she replied coldly, “Fine. You go that way, I’ll go my way.” She stormed off, and the others visibly relaxed.


Spike stretched out his neck. All Leanna ever did these days was make him tense.


“Let’s go find Buffy,” Tara said softly, putting her hand on his arm gently, and snapping him out of his daydreams of strangling the chit.


At her soft tone, he closed his eyes as worry overtook his expression. If he didn’t get to Buffy in time, he would never be able to forgive himself.


~


‘Shit,’ Leanna thought to herself. She didn’t know that Spike had been love-whipped enough to claim Buffy, and now that would probably make it easier for him to find her. She wanted to lead them astray and then ditch them, but now it looked like her task had just gotten harder. She hurriedly worked her way through the caves, hoping to find her way back to the gem and the slayer before the others did.


~


Back in the cave, Buffy’s mind was reeling with angry thoughts. ‘That stupid little ho bag of a bitch! I KNEW she was evil!!’ She pulled on the chains, desperately wanting to get free and somehow kick Leanna’s ass. The blinding headache would be well worth it.


And then the devil herself appeared. There Leanna was, standing in the entrance way. She smirked as she crossed the force field, her features changing into Kerala, from blonde to black hair, from light skin to dark - but her grey eyes still showed the same ill intent.


“I knew you were evil,” Buffy gritted out, wanting nothing more than to snap her head off, no matter what form Leanna took.


“Then why are you here chained to a wall?” Kerala asked arrogantly. She stalked over to Buffy, hands behind her back.


Buffy eyed her arms, seeing she had something back there.


Bringing her hands to the front, Kerala held the knife up for Buffy to see. “Remember this?” she asked with a smirk.


Looking confused, Buffy tried to recall any recollection of the knife in front of her. It had a silver handle with intricate etchings on it, reminding her of…


Buffy’s eyes widened. “You bitch!” she exclaimed incredulously. “That’s the knife Drusilla stabbed me with!”


“Who do you think gave it to her?” Kerala rolled her eyes at the slayer’s stupidity.


“When I get my hands on you,” she gritted out, shaking her head slowly in anger.


Moving closer, she stopped mere inches away from Buffy’s reach. “You’re not going anywhere. And it’s time to have some fun,” she declared with a calculating look as she brought the knife closer slowly.


Feeling real fear, Buffy felt utterly alone.


~


“This way,” Spike said. “I think I feel her a little more.”


“It’s not a claim, alright,” Xander muttered under his breath.


Spike growled deep in his throat, causing Xander to look away and pretend he didn’t say anything. Catching a whiff of something in the air, Spike halted in his steps and suddenly vamped, a concentrated frown on his face.


“What is it?” Willow asked as the rest of them vamped out as well. As the faint scent reached their noses, their eyes widened and they looked over to Spike with concern.


Buffy’s blood.


Letting out a low guttural growl, he dashed off towards where the smell was coming from. His mind went into overdrive, thoughts jumbling together, but his body did nothing but run at full speed through the tunnels to save her.


Images of her, of them together flashed through his mind, and nothing seemed more important than getting her back. They way he treated her, slammed the door in her face – it all sent a flood of guilt through his body.


Coming to an open area, he stopped, not sure which of the three paths he should go down. He tried to hone in on his senses, but then he heard a pained scream.


‘Buffy.’ He quickly ran left, and prayed it wasn’t too late. If he were alive, his heart would be beating uncontrollably. The worry was eating him up, worse than ever before, because he knew that this could be it. He could lose her forever.


Finally reaching the entrance, he saw a dark-haired woman holding a knife against Buffy’s skin, her blood trickling down her arm. Spike roared in anger as his eyes flashed yellow, jumping through the force field and ignoring the weird sensation that coursed through him as he did so.


With no time to think about it, he ran forward, bringing the axe up in the air, determined to slash the bitch in half. As it came down, she whipped around and caught it in her hands expertly, dropping the knife she held.


“I don’t think so. I’m not that easy,” she smirked.


“Who the fuck are you?” he ground out, pulling the axe away violently and taking a step back, ready to strike at her again.
.

“Spike, it’s Leanna!” Buffy exclaimed.


A confused expression took over his features as he looked to Buffy for understanding. His eyes softened, distracted by the painful sight of Buffy chained to the wall with blood running down her arm.


Kerala smiled evilly, already having picked up the knife when he was distracted, and she lunged forward with it.


“Spike!” Buffy yelled in warning. He jumped back to the side automatically, avoiding the tip of the blade by a short hair.


He gave her a challenging look. Whoever she was, he was going to kick her ass. Spike lunged forward with a yell, determined to make her pay.


~


The others found the entrance, witnessing Spike’s fight and seeing Buffy in chains with blood flowing down her arm. They ran through the force field without seeing it, and a draining feeling coursed through them as their vamp features faded away.


Xander held his arms in front of him, examining himself. “What just happened?” he looked worried.


Anya was opening and closing her mouth, forehead scrunched in concentration. She stopped and turned to the group. “Why can’t I vamp?” she asked in a panicked tone.


They all concentrated and tried, to no avail. And then their eyes widened as they looked at each other.


“Uh guys?” Xander started nervously, “Why do I have a heartbeat?”


“Me too! Me too!” Anya cried frantically.


Anya put her hand on Xander’s chest over his heart, and Xander put his hand over hers. Willow and Tara did the same, expressions showing their shock. Looking worried, Willow turned to look at the entrance. She realized that in their hurry, they had failed to see what was there.


“Guys, there’s a force field of some kind,” she explained with a frown.


“Maybe it makes everyone human?” Tara offered weakly, a puzzled look on her face.


“Well look at Spike,” Xander pointed out. They turned to look at his vamped features, still battling it out, and apparently, losing. Kerala let out a harsh backhand that sent him crashing against the wall of the cave.


“Hello? Can you guys grope each other later? I need a little help here!” Buffy called out from the other side, not knowing what they were talking about but seeing them touch each other’s chests a few minutes ago.


“Right, sorry!” Willow called out to Buffy. She turned back to the others and said, “We’ll go. You guys help Spike.” Xander and Anya nodded, running over to the black-haired woman.


“A-Are you ok?” Tara asked as they approached her.


“Peachy. Can you get me out of these?” Buffy asked hopefully, pulling at the chains.


They brought their weapons up, hoping to cut the chains with one fierce swing. As they brought it down, it clanked against the chains and didn’t even make a dent. Their attempt was weak, and they looked at each other with a frown while Buffy had a confused expression on her face.


“What’s wrong? That was just pitiful,” Buffy frowned.


“There’s some kind of barrier over there that just, um, took our vampire strength and, uh…made us human?” Willow explained weakly.


“What!?” Buffy exclaimed, eyes widening. That couldn’t be right. “But Spike,” she began, as she looked over to his vamped face. She stopped herself, realization dawning on her.


The gang’s sudden humanness and Spike’s continuing vampy-ness. It all meant one thing – the cave must have the same properties as back home. The chip was gone.


A look of renewed hope crossed her face, and she turned to them with a determined smirk. “Get me out of these chains. It’s time to kick some ass.”


Chanting something, Willow waved her hands over the chains and they clicked open, freeing Buffy’s wrists.

Buffy rubbed them in relief as she muttered, “…bitch tied me up…”


At that moment, a small Indian guy appeared. He was slightly hunched over, adorned in a robe. Putting his hands up, he began to chant something in Hindi.


Willow and Tara whipped around at the feeling of magic forces tugging on them. Willow’s eyes turned angry and she put up her hand, beginning to chant in Latin and combating his magic.


Tara turned to Buffy, “Go. We’ll take care of this.” She turned back and joined in, chanting with Willow to combat the invisible force that was trying to steal their energy.


Buffy nodded, eyeing the magical exchange one last time before running to help Spike. She eyed Xander and Anya in the corner, getting up from Kerala’s harsh blows, but Spike was still fighting and had lost the upper hand.


“Hey, bitch!” Buffy called, coming up behind Kerala, “Get your skanky hands off of him.”


Kerala turned around, looking pissed, and Spike collected himself, wiping the trickle of blood away from the corner of his mouth.


“Why won’t you ever just stay put?” Kerala yelled out in frustration, throwing her hands up in the air.


“Because I just realized something, Leanna,” Buffy smirked as she put her hands on her hips.


“That I’m going to kill you?” Kerala offered with a raised brow.


“No, that I can do…,” she didn’t finish as she spun her body around to deliver a fierce roundhouse kick. Kerala flew back, hitting the wall with a crack. She looked up in shocked anger.


“…that,” Buffy finished with a victorious smile. It felt good to be back.


------------------------------------------------------------


A/N: Sorry about the lack of Buffy and Spike interaction this chapter. Oh you noticed? Wait, you say you skimmed the whole thing? Well, that’s depressing.

---------------------------------------------------------------


“Because I just realized something, Leanna,” Buffy smirked as she put her hands on her hips.


“That I’m going to kill you?” Kerala offered with a raised brow.


“No, that I can do…,” she didn’t finish as she spun her body around to deliver a fierce roundhouse kick. Kerala flew back, hitting the wall with a crack. She looked up in shocked anger.


“…that,” Buffy finished with a victorious smile. It felt good to be back.


With a confused expression, Spike looked to Buffy for an explanation.


“The chip doesn’t work in here,” she explained, not having time to say more. There would be time for all explanations later.


Spike accepted the answer with a hesitant nod, but his attention shifted to her bleeding arm. He moved to her, cupping her face with one hand and brushing his thumb across her cheek. “You ok?” he asked, concern evident in his eyes.


Closing her eyes, she nodded, savoring his touch. It just felt right, like a gaping hole was filled every time he stepped into the same room. And it didn’t matter where they were, or that now was not the time for this – everything else just seemed to slip away when they were together.


Moving even closer, Spike put his forehead against hers, and breathed deep, closing his eyes as the relief flooded through him. “I thought I lost you,” he said in a strained voice.


She kissed him, eyes closed, putting all of her feelings into it – the confusion, the relief, the despair, the love.


“You didn’t,” she assured.


“How touching,” Kerala spat out as she got back on her feet and started circling them, ready to fight.


Spike put his lips against Buffy’s ear and whispered, voice deep with affection, “I love you.”


Buffy’s heart swelled a little, his words hit her in a way that they failed to do before, before her whole life had been turned upside down.


Before she could answer, he pulled away and turned to Kerala, easily slipping back into his arrogant demeanor and glaring at their opponent challengingly.


Knowing they didn’t have time, Buffy got back into fight mode and stood next to Spike, both of them looking ready to kick ass.


“Let’s do this,” Buffy glared at Kerala.


Buffy launched herself at Kerala. She punched her in the face and then ducked, knowing that Spike was swinging the axe and aiming for a swift decapitation, but Kerala saw it coming and caught it again. She pushed it back forcefully and kicked Buffy back at the same time.


Laughing, Kerala said, “You two lovesick puppies are in way over your heads. I’m a goddess, you imbeciles.” She turned to look at her accomplice, who was still in a battle of magic with Willow and Tara.


“Sarath, weapon, now,” Kerala ordered.


Without letting go of the magic, he waved the other hand. Xander’s sword was taken out of his hands as it flew like a magnet over to Kerala. She got it and swung it vertically to test its strength. Smiling, she decided, “This will do.”


“Anya!” Buffy yelled, needing a weapon too. Anya understood and threw her sword to Buffy. Catching it, she smirked at Kerala, ready for action.


She brought the sword down diagonally, but Kerala blocked with her own weapon. Buffy quickly jumped up and kicked her, her foot connecting right underneath Kerala’s chin, sending her staggering backwards. Satisfaction ran though her body, and she began to let out a series of punches, not allowing Kerala to recover. She turned and backhanded Kerala, the force sending the goddess back several feet.


Spike smirked at her, raising his brow in question.


Surprised at her own sudden strength, Buffy realized it must have been from her pent up frustration at Leanna. She shrugged, and continued fighting. “Payback’s a bitch.”


~


Buffy and Spike double-teamed on Kerala, while Xander and Anya stood aside, not knowing what to do.


“Um, what should we do, Ahn?” Xander asked. They eyed the magical battle and then the super-powered one on the other side of the cave.


“I don’t know, but we’re human and we don’t have powers so I’m staying here where it’s safe,” Anya declared, folding her arms.


Xander was about to give Anya a speech about helping their own friends, but then at the human reminder, and the memory of the way Kerala flung them aside like rag dolls, he concluded, “Good plan.”


~


Kerala had gotten the upper hand back, expertly bringing brought her sword down. Buffy dodged, but she hissed as the sword grazed her arm, giving her a shallow cut.


Spike’s eyes flashed yellow and he roared, turning 360 and swinging the axe sideways to catch Kerala in the stomach. Kerala’s eyes widened, surprised as the metal sliced through her skin, axe imbedded deeply into her.


Stepping back with wide eyes, Spike was surprised that it had been that easy. Looking astonished as well, Buffy went to stand next to Spike. She opened her mouth to say something, but then Kerala looked up at them with a smirk.


They looked puzzled, as Kerala grabbed a hold of the handle and yanked it out of her stomach, wound healing immediately. “You think it’s that easy to kill me?”


Buffy’s face dropped. She got all excited there for a moment. And then the severity of the situation hit her. If the bitch couldn’t be wounded, what did it take? This could all be a hopeless cause…


Her mind flitted for ways to win. ‘What did the old woman say again? Discover what’s in my heart or something like that?’ Buffy questioned herself, as Spike kicked Kerala and flung her back into the wall.


She turned to Spike and blurted out, “I love you!”


Spike looked amused, but his eyes shone with affection. “Thanks, luv. Where did that come from?”


Buffy waited for something to happen. ‘Isn’t that the revelation I’m supposed to announce?’ she asked herself with a frown. “Never mind,” she muttered, disappointed that it didn’t work. ‘What else do they want me to do? Let him turn me into a vampire or something? Really reverse things up?’ she inwardly scoffed.


Spike didn’t understand her, giving her a raised brow. He took her hand gently, and asked her, “Are you ok?” Buffy seemed to be somewhere else.


“You know I love you too,” he said in a low voice, searching Buffy’s eyes for understanding.


Smiling at him softly, she said, “I know.” But her expression quickly turned into a distracted one, making Spike frown at her weird behavior.


It suddenly hit her. Leanna wasn’t a goddess.


She looked at Spike. “We have to get her outside that entrance way,” she urged, totally changing the subject.


He frowned, not understanding. “Ok…” He decided to put the conversation about her random outburst on hold, considering Kerala was about to attack them again. At Buffy’s determined look, Spike took her word for it.


~


“Hey, what’s that glowing thing over there?” Anya asked as she looked at the stone in the wall. It seemed to be radiating some sort of energy, noisily humming.


They walked over to it and looked at it curiously. Anya’s eyes lit up and she snapped her fingers. “The gem! That, that Rajendra Gem that we read about!”


Xander wagged an agreeing finger, “Right, the one that’s causing all this goofy-reverse crap!”


Sarath saw the two humans near the gem and he yelled, “No! Get away from that!” He let his hand drop, and Willow and Tara’s magical force hit his body like a ton of bricks, sending him flying into the stone wall. The witches sighed, energy wiped out.


Willow and Tara walked up to the gem, eyeing it curiously. “Is this what we’ve been researching about all this time?” Willow asked.


“I guess so,” Tara said, unsure.


Xander put out his hand to touch it, and he hissed when it burned him, retracting his hand. “Ow, that thing is on fire!” he complained as he sucked on his burnt finger.


“What do we do to it?” Willow questioned, worried look on her face.


“Magic minion is awake, guys,” Anya warned as she looked over Tara’s shoulder.


Sarath lunged at them, desperately trying to get them away from the gem. Anya, Xander, Willow, and Tara yelled out as they ganged up on him, hitting him ineffectively all over. But four humans letting out pathetic throws was enough, making him cower as he tried to fend off the pattering of punches.


~


Spike let out a fierce punch to Kerala’s face, and Buffy quickly kicked up as Spike got out of the way, causing Kerala’s head to snap back from the double impact.


“Are we messing up your hair?” Buffy patronized, as she kneed her in the gut and let out a right hook.


Kerala huffed, hair disheveled and strength wavering at the two blondes who kept overpowering her. She ran forward towards Buffy, but instead of going for the face, she threw her leg out, trying to swoop Buffy off her feet. Buffy saw it coming and jumped up easily, landing on one foot while the other came up to kick her in the head. “Lame,” Buffy rolled her eyes.


Spike picked her up by the neck and slammed his fist into her face violently before smirking and flinging her body to the right, closer to the entrance.


Buffy and Spike were almost there, standing only a few feet away from the entrance. Kerala’s control was lost as she couldn’t even take a moment to gain the offensive.


“You think any of this really hurts?” Kerala mocked as she wiped her mouth. “You’ll never beat me.”


Buffy’s eyes narrowed, and she ran forward, jumping into the air and throwing her body parallel to the ground, a slamming kick sending Kerala backwards.

Kerala flew back through the force field, automatically changing back into Leanna, and she landed with a hard thud, the pain in her body suddenly more evident. Her head shot up, eyes infuriated.


Spike looked shocked as he stared at the woman who used to be his girlfriend. Buffy had said it was her, but he didn’t stop to understand. Now seeing Leanna in front of him, his eyes grew dark, anger bubbling inside of him. It had been the bitch all along.


Leanna got up and ran forward, trying to get back through the force field, but Spike and Buffy rushed forward as well, punching her backwards and exiting the main cave themselves.


“You bloody bint,” Spike said in a low voice. “You were working for the other side all along, huh?” He gave her a look of accusing disbelief.


Leanna smirked. “No, you idiot. It was all fake.” She looked smug.


“You’re façade, fake? Yea, duh,” Buffy rolled her eyes.


Leanna looked at her challengingly. “I mean, it was all fake.” She turned to smile evilly at Spike. “None of it really happened. I implanted all those memories of ‘Leanna’ into your mind, you half-wits.”


Spike looked utterly confused. It didn’t make any sense. He remembered Leanna from years back, and it seemed as real as her standing before him today.


“The first real day I showed up in this world was when I killed Rack,” she added.


“Spike, can we just kill her now?” Buffy said in a bored tone, arms crossed. She didn’t care anymore. Who, what, where. She just wanted Leanna dead, once and for all.


Spike was still in slight shock, forehead scrunched.


Leanna gave Buffy a wide-eyed look of amusement. “But Buffy, you forgot something,” she said in a fake nice voice. Before Buffy could ask, Leanna threw a punch and a kick to her gut. Buffy staggered, and looked up with furious eyes.


“You bitch,” Buffy ran forward and threw a right hook toward Leanna’s face. As her fist came in contact with skin, a shattering pain exploded in her head and she screamed, closing her eyes. She had forgotten all about the chip. With a worried look on her face, she glanced to Spike for help.


Spike snapped back into reality as Leanna hit Buffy, and the possessiveness in him grew furious at the two-faced bint. It was one thing when Buffy could defend herself, but it pained him when she couldn’t. Grabbing Leanna, he slammed her against the wall and brought his fist back, punching her harshly in the face. “Don’t. Bloody. Touch. Her!” he roared in between blows.


Leanna pushed him off, glaring at him hatefully. She lunged forward, sending out a series of hits that he only half-blocked. She kicked him in the gut, but he grabbed her foot and flipped her up, sending her falling to the ground.


Sarath muttered something in Hindi, and the four humans were thrown back. Seeing that they appeared knocked out for the moment, he turned to the entrance and saw the slayer, apparently watching the battle between Spike and Kerala helplessly.


He stalked over to her, and quietly slipped past the force field, transforming into a large, bulky vampire with dark hair. Buffy frowned, beginning to turn around at her senses.


Sarath grabbed her by the neck, and put the other hand over her mouth, silencing her as she froze, eyes wide with fear. It seemed like he appeared out of nowhere.


Spike picked Leanna up with a guttural growl, hands choking her at the neck. He was about to rip her apart, or die trying, when he heard a deep male voice boom, “Put her down or the girl dies.”


He froze, turning his head with his hands still around Leanna’s neck. Leanna smiled arrogantly, despite his choking grip on her. Spike’s heart fell when he saw Buffy in the hands of a large vampire. He didn’t even know where he came from.


Spike let Leanna go, dropping her to her feet, not wanting to risk Buffy’s life by playing games. “Let her go,” Spike gritted out, fists clenched as he took a step towards him.


“That’s the thing about love,” Sarath began, “it always makes you weak.” He smirked and threw Buffy towards Leanna.


Spike reacted, about to lunge toward them, but Sarath put up his hand and an invisible force held Spike back as he roared in anger.


Leanna grabbed Buffy, who struggled, but couldn’t do much as long as she was outside the main cave. “Get your hands off me!” Buffy yelled, feeling utterly helpless. Braving it out and punching Leanna in the face, Buffy clutched her head as the sparks ignited in her brain. Leanna angrily grabbed her and put a bruising hold on Buffy’s neck while the other hand held Buffy’s wrists together behind her back.


Leanna looked up at a furious Spike who was still trying to move against the barrier and smirked as she held Buffy with her back to her own chest. “Ain’t love grand?” she said.


With that, Leanna vamped out again and bared her fangs, leaning down towards Buffy’s neck.


“NO!” Spike roared, panic screaming throughout his entire body.


Buffy felt the fangs pierce into her skin roughly, and she gasped in pain. Leanna began pulling deep gulps of blood out of her, and she bucked as her body went into shock at the loss. Her mind seemed to flash through all the moments of her life, and it landed on one in particular.


“No, look at me! I ... love you. You're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my gut ... my throat ... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning in you.”


“You can't tell me that there isn't anything there between you and me. I know you feel something.”


And at that moment, as the life was being drained out of her by her worst enemy, she realized that he had gotten it right. This reverse world didn’t implant feelings into her. They were there all along.


She was brought back to reality, by Spike’s choked scream, “Buffy!”


Leanna pulled back, knowing she had taken enough and feeling Buffy’s body slowly dying.


“Spike,” Buffy whispered, her eyes half-closed.


At the same time, Anya, Xander, Willow, and Tara had gotten up, and seen the chaos outside. “Hurry, smash the gem!” Anya urged.


Sarath heard them and he turned around in panic, letting go of the barrier that was holding Spike back. Leanna looked up with panicked eyes as well, and they both rushed back instead the main cave, appearance transforming back into their real beings.


Spike rushed to catch Buffy before she fell, absolute horror written all over his face. “Buffy, luv, are you ok???” He propped her up with his hands, feeling the tears stinging at the corner of his eyes. She was breathing weakly, and he could hear her heartbeat slowing down. He kissed her lips and her face, pouring his emotion into them and hoping it would make her ok.


“You’ll be ok, luv, I promise,” he babbled as he held a hand against her bleeding wound, hoping to stop the loss.


She closed her eyes, feeling the energy drain out of her body. Leaning her head against his arm and burying her face into it, she mumbled weakly, “…love you…I…know…now…”


Xander brought the axe up, seeing Kerala and Sarath running towards them. He brought it down as hard as he could on the gem. It shattered with an audible flash, sending them all flying back as a force was let out of it.


“No!!!!!!!!!” Kerala screamed, feeling a sharp pain jab into her as the shattering of the gem took her gained power. Her eyes widened, something moving in her gut.


The others looked up at Kerala and Sarath’s confused eyes - they froze in place, making chortled noises as they clutched their stomachs. They both cried out in pain as a visible hole opened up in their stomach, flesh turning inside out.


Everyone stared in disgust as their bodies caught fire and seemed to rip open. They burned, slowly, skin searing off before everyone’s eyes until they were nothing…but a shriveled pile of flesh.


“That is REVOLTING,” Xander said with a look of shocked disgust. “I have NEVER seen anything so puke-worthy in my entire li-,”


“Guys…” Tara whispered, staring into the outside part of the cave with a concerned look.


They whipped around, looking at Spike sitting on the ground outside the cave with a shocked appearance on his face. His arms were empty and no one was there with him. Buffy had disappeared into thin air.