Chapter 1- Thank You
Buffy sat on a tombstone and looked up at the night sky, noticing all of the silvery orbs above her. She smiled softly as she focused on one.
“Hi, Mom,” she said quietly, her eyes watering a little. “I miss you.” She wiped a tear away as it rolled down her cheek. “Dawn misses you, too. She’s still taking it hard, but we’re okay. And we’ll continue to be- I promise. I’m going to take care of her until the end of the world. Glory won’t ever lay a finger on Dawn.” She paused. “But if for some reason she gets a hold of Dawn, will you watch out for her? Make sure Glory doesn’t do anything?” She looked down as more tears began to fall. “I know you’re watching over us right now- I’m just so worried. I can’t lose Dawn, not now. We’ve all worked so hard, and defeat isn’t something I could handle. Losing you was hard enough. Please don’t add Dawn to the list of people I lose. I’ll do anything, Mom, I swear. Just tell me how to protect her.” When a breeze passed by her, Buffy managed a weak smile. “I’ll take that as a sign. I don’t know of what, but it’ll do.” She sighed. “Do you know about anything behind the phrase ‘Death is your gift’? The First Slayer said it to me, and I didn’t understand what she meant. I still don’t.”
“Killing Glory would be a gift to the world,” a familiar voice said behind her. She quickly wiped off her cheeks again as she realized who it was. Spike appeared beside her and watched as she tried to hide the fact she was crying. “Everything okay, luv?” She nodded, looking down. “If you want to talk, I’ve been told I’m an excellent listener.”
“Who told you that? Your robot?” she asked, looking at him. He frowned and looked away. “I’m sorry. You’re being nice, and I’m being horrible.”
“I suppose I deserve it, don’t I?” he asked, looking at her.
“I think the beating Glory gave you was enough,” she said. “You’re healing up pretty well.”
“Yeah,” he replied, nodding. “I should be as good as new by tomorrow probably.” She nodded and looked down again. “So, felt like taking a short reprieve from slaying?”
“Just felt like sitting down and thinking,” she said before looking at the name on the tombstone. “I’m sure Mr. Thomas Grant doesn’t mind the company.” He smiled a little. “What brings you out here?”
“Was going to go get some more blood but saw you and thought I’d check in,” he said, studying her as he tilted his head. “Sure you don’t want to talk, Slayer? I know I’m not a Scooby and therefore shouldn’t be let in on whatever thoughts are running through your head, but-”
“You may not think you’re a Scooby, Spike, but I think you’ve earned a shot at membership,” she said. “I really can’t thank you enough for protecting Dawn and I. You could’ve saved your ass, but you helped us instead, and that means a lot.”
“Hence the kiss,” he said, and she looked away quickly. “I know it didn’t mean anything, just a thank you.” She nodded and sighed. “But if that’s my reward for being good, I’ll give up the evil side of me in a heartbeat.” She giggled quietly, and he smirked. “Okay, maybe not a heartbeat because I lack one, but you know what I mean.”
“I know,” she said, looking at him. They shared a smile for a moment before she looked up at the sky. “Do you know anything about astrology?”
“I think you mean astronomy, pet,” he said, and she frowned. “Astrology involves people’s signs, their horoscopes, and all that other rot. Astronomy is the study of stars, constellations, and planets.”
“Spike has an intelligent side- I’m impressed,” she replied jokingly, and he glared at her. “Sorry.” He shrugged and looked up. “I’ve always loved looking at stars- I just don’t know anything about them.”
“Me either,” he said, frowning. “You think over a century I would’ve picked up on something, but I guess I was too busy at night to really stop and look at the sky.”
“Mom used to sit outside with me before I’d go to sleep and point out things like the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper,” she said, tilting her head. “That’s the extent of my knowledge on the subject.” He chuckled and looked at her. “What? Who needs fancy names for stars and constellations? I’d rather just make something up.”
“Yeah, it’s probably more fun that way,” he said. “A lot easier than memorizing such trivial stuff.” She sighed and looked down. “What’s wrong?”
“You know the fight with Glory could be the end,” she said, not willing to look at him. “She could get Dawn and we could all die.”
“But we won’t,” he replied sternly. “No one is going to let that happen.”
“I know that,” she said. “But what if she takes us all down? What if I can’t protect Dawn? We’re all going to die, Spike. Even Dawn.”
“I won’t let anything happen to either of you,” he said sincerely, and she looked at him. “Even if I die, nothing is going to happen to you. I promise you, luv.”
“Why do you love me?” she asked quietly, and he smiled.
“Because you’re unattainable,” he said, and she frowned. “I like a challenge, and even though I’ll never have you, it’s still nice to think I have a shot.”
“What makes me different, though?” she asked curiously. “What about the two Slayers you killed? They were both ‘unattainable’, too, weren’t they?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t feel a certain spark with them,” he said before looking down. “I think I’ve loved you ever since I first saw you. Over three bloody years, I’ve loved you.” She put her hand on his arm, and he raised an eyebrow as he looked at her. He saw a soft expression on her face.
“Thank you,” she said before standing up and leaning over to kiss his cheek. She began to walk away, and he watched her, confused.
“For what?” he asked, loud enough for her to hear him. She smiled and turned back to look at him.
“For loving me when no one else did,” she said. “You’ve been the one guy who’s stayed around for me.”
“I’ve left you before, pet,” he said, still confused.
“Not after you told me you loved me,” she said. “Riley and Angel both did, but you haven’t. Thank you.” She continued to walk, and Spike watched her until she was no longer visible, a brilliant smile on his face.
A/N Ashlee, PJ, and I have started our own awards site, titled the Fool For Love Awards. It's set up on LiveJournal, and the site is: http://www.livejournal.com/community/_fool_for_love_/
Please take a look at it if you're interested and nominate your favorite fics in one of 51 categories:)
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!