Save Me From Myself
Summary: On the surface Buffy Summers is your typical beautiful California girl Long blonde hair, nice tan, smiling face. However Buffy and her friends have a not so secret secret. They share a very close bond that no one can break, a bond that no one else understands. There are only three rules. One, you never say you’re sorry. Two you never lie. Three, you are always faithful to the friends.
Prologue
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Looking back, I can see how flawed we were. How naïve we were. We were young, wounded by the outside world, and to rebel we decided to shut the world out. We were always close, mind you. From the first day of school we all connected, the eight of us. That’s when there was eight of us. We were all inseparable from day one. We all stuck together through all of our parents splitting up, all of our broken hearts. We were more than friends, it was as if we were one person split into many.
It was years into our time together that things changed. When I was fifteen, Billy Fordham asked me to the spring dance. I was thrilled, the group however wasn’t as pleased. All of them were overly protective and concerned about his reputation and begged me not to go. But I was excited and convinced everything would be fine.
It wasn’t.
Oh, it started out great. He picked me up at eight in his mustang, heavy metal blasting and I was glowing. He mumbled something about my dress as I walked out alone to the car and opened the door for myself and climbed in. He drove to fast and didn’t turn the music down . We were only at the dance for about twenty minutes when he was ready to leave. He said he had other plans for the night. I was a little put off, but I was still to excited about being with a senior boy to be worried at all.
He drove me to a abandoned parking lot on the bad side of town. He didn’t ask permission, he didn’t even flinch when I scratched his cheek, or when I bit the hand he had covering my mouth. After it was over he turned the car around and drove me home, ignoring my sobbing . He sat silently as I walked up to my house, my head hung in shame.
Pressing charges was out of the question the D.A told me two days later as I sat in his office downtown. Faith, Cordelia and Anya sat on all sides of me, all three of them touching me in some way to offer comfort. The Fordhams were a very respected family in Sunnydale, and I had unintentionally destroyed all the evidence by showering.
He looked at me with kind eyes and told me that a trial would only serve to serve to prolong my suffering .
That night was the last time I have ever cried. Surrounded by my friends all of them, huddled in my bedroom, all of them squeezed onto my twin sized bed, comforting me.
Three days later I stood with Faith and watched as Billy was carried away in an ambulance. The story was that he had been jumped behind the gym. No one knew who the attackers were, just three masked guys in hoodies that seemed to be on drugs, said the witnesses. They were out of control, almost like they were possessed.
That night the girls and I sat quietly in the kitchen of Angels house and played nursemaid the cuts and bruises on Angel, Xander, Conner, and Doyle’s hands and elbows. The news said the next day that Billy was lucky to be alive. Last I heard Billy was still in a coma, his brain permanently mush. To this day no one found out who or why.
I know that was what sealed the deal for me. The rape, the justice, the sacrifice the group made for me. That’s what drove me deeper into their arms, that’s what made me take the final step. I was already there, before anything physical actually happened with the others, I was already in love with them. I belonged to them, completely.
For the others it was little things that drove them closer to the group. Cheating lovers, betrayal from other friends, rejections from the world, really horrible home lives. It all lead to the summer after we all turned sixteen.
We were all at Angels house once again, his being the biggest and most likely parent free, and laying out by the pool. It wasn’t something from a porn or anything. It didn’t start out as something sordid . We were just hanging out not swimming, not even all of us were in swimsuits, just being together.
We were talking about just random stuff when Cordelia made the announcement that made us all stop and think.
“I have come to a decision.” She said loudly, intending to draw everyone’s attention, just like always. And just like always everyone turned to her, all other conversations ceased. “I am not going to date anymore.” She said with a air of finality. Faith rolled her eyes and Anya snorted. But Cordelia wasn’t finished.
“No I’m serious, why should I. It’s pointless. Why go through the whole scene anymore. I mean it’s horrible. The nerves, the waiting, the groping, the slobbering, the strained conversation. The painful shoes, short skirts, tight tops. I’m sick of it. I hate having to put on lip gloss and expensive hair products to impress some mouth breather that thinks just because he has a nice car, he deserves a piece of ass.
Why should I keep wasting my time faking orgasms and telling some average Joe that it was good for me too while trying not to roll my eyes. Why go through the whole spill just to have a connection to someone. Why go through all of that when I really don’t need to look any further than you guys. I mean really, what can I get from some jock strap that I can’t get from this group. I mean, it’s pointless.” Cordelia finished with a sigh, flopping down onto the lounge chair beside her.
Anya raised her hand, when we looked at her, curious she coughed and looked a bit nervous. “Um, sex?” She said, her face a little pale. It threw us off, Anya was never nervous. “I, I, mean that’s what you don’t get from the group that you do from those miserable dates.”
We all looked to each other with curious eyes.
Two hours later and a few stolen bottles of beer and we had a new connection. Sex. But it wasn’t just the sex. It was all different. We were now lovers, together. We talked long into the night, out on the pool deck, the stars above us. We complied a list of rules, a list that was narrowed down to three. Number one, you never say you’re sorry in the group. Number two, you never lie to the group and finally number three, you always remain faithful to the group.
We all stuck together like that for two years. Then Xander and Anya left us. They broke our hearts, saying they wanted out, that they were in love yes, but not with the group anymore, but with each other. Cordelia demanded they be cut off completely, never spoken to again, erased.
You don’t leave the group, you are the group. That’s how it worked. We all knew it. We lived by it. Then the world can crashing down around us when a new family moved in next door to me. A new family with a horribly dangerous son with piercing blue eyes and magic hands.
~TBC~
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!