Buffy seethed at the unwitting blond head at the bar. 'How dare he show up here,' she thought fiercely. 'It's even a Wednesday, not a drinking day, not a go out and party day. He knows it's my usual day to hang out with the gang. Why is he even here?' She glared daggers into his black clad back, but he remained oblivious, fixated on the amber whiskey in front of him, absently fiddling with the glass, swirling the alcohol moodily as though something important could be divined from its depths.
Hang out with the gang, yeah, that was kind of funny in a not terribly funny way, since Willow and Tara had begged tonight off, citing a busy following day; Oz was with his new girlfriend at some gig upstate and Faith had decided to join Oz and Bella; Dawn was dancing with her latest boyfriend, Steve, and Xander and Anya had spent the whole night practically having sex on the dance floor, leaving Buffy alone at the table, where she was definitely not watching her ex.
Ok, so maybe there was a little watching going on. Shooting a glance back to the bar, she was irrationally irritated anew to see two women perched on the bar stools near him. As she watched, the girl next to him tipped her drink over, sending a small flood Spike's way. 'Oh please, so obvious,' Buffy thought, rolling her eyes.
She watched as Spike deftly rescued his endangered cigarettes and shrugged off the girl's apology, accepting it gruffly and settling onto another stool further removed from the mess. The girl stood and caught his attention again, placing her hand on his leather sleeve and apparently continuing to make her apologies. Finally, Spike acquiesced and another whiskey was placed in front of him by the bartender.
Spike and the girl exchanged a few more words, his reluctance to converse further evident in the stiff lines of his body, but then…the girl said something else and leaned in a little and patted his sleeve again encouragingly and Spike's entire attitude changed. He looked the girl in the eyes for the first time, then down at the glossy surface of the bar for a moment. He seemed to come to a decision, because he snapped his head up, slid off the bar stool and shrugging his coat off, offered the girl his hand.
Buffy stared in disbelief as Spike shot the girl's companion a sexy smile, in thanks for watching his coat Buffy assumed, and the couple made their way onto the dance floor where they proceeded to drape themselves around each other.
'She's not even his type!' She thought furiously and took a quick inventory of her compet…Spike's new friend, she corrected herself swiftly. 'Tall, skanky ho with long dark hair...' Hmm, on second thought, the girl did bear a passing resemblance to Drusilla, Spike's ex, in build and coloring. Oh, except she wasn't as thin. No, she definitely had more curves than Drusilla, Buffy noted clinically. Ok, so she had a pretty nice figure. She certainly wasn't as pale as Drusilla, her skin had the healthy glow that tanning salons and creams promised and never provided.
The girl whispered something in Spike's ear and was rewarded with a wide, sunny grin that was familiar to Buffy, but had been a rare sight lately. He laughed at whatever it was she said next and Buffy added 'funny' to her growing list of details about the girl.
Spike's hand stroked the girl's long braid and looking mischievous, he pulled the band from the bottom of the braid and ran his fingers through it until it lay in long and loose curls down her back. He grinned again and said something to her, eliciting a giggle.
'Ok. Nice hair,' Buffy thought. 'Shiny and soft looking.' She absently ran her fingers down her own recently snipped to just below chin-length blonde hair. 'He does like long hair,' she thought crossly.
'Well, if you hadn't gotten mad at him and cut yours off to spite him, yours would still be long too!' Her inner voice chided her. 'Whatever! I like it this way! I do!' She smacked the voice back down where it belonged, all quiet and not so darn - talky. 'Yeah. Stupid voice. Whose side are you on, anyway?'
She looked away from them, suddenly feeling a little ill. 'Well, good.' She told herself. 'Spike's moving on and that's of the good, because he won't be bothering me anymore, won't be making things all confusing anymore. That's what I wanted, after all.' She put her head in her hands. 'Yeah, exactly what I wanted.'
"Hey, Buffy," Xander and Anya appeared at her side. "I'd like you to meet Jake, he's my friend from work. I think I've mentioned him."
Startled out of her contemplation of the tabletop, she looked up at the man standing next to Xander. He was tall and broad-shouldered, with brown hair and friendly eyes that were…peering at her waiting for her to acknowledge the introduction. 'Moving on. Right!'
She favored him with a brilliant smile, stood and held out her hand. "Hi Jake, nice to meet you. Xander's told me a lot about you." She wracked her brain trying to remember what exactly Xander had said about him, but came up with nothing more than, 'dammit, she's got her head on his shoulder,' and realized she'd again focused on Spike and his new friend. Cursing her one track mind, she dragged her eyes back to Jake.
"He's told me a lot about you, too. If I didn't know how much he loved Anya, I'd think he had a crush on you." He said, smiling as he took her hand.
She realized Xander and Anya had moved away again, not so subtly leaving her with Jake.
"Would you like to dance?" He asked.
She nodded and they moved onto the floor with the other couples swaying to the music. 'Ha,' she thought, 'I've got a cute guy to dance with and he seems nice and I can do the moving on thing too. No problem.' She peeked at Spike to see if he'd noticed her acquisition of said cute guy yet. He was still wholly absorbed in his companion. She frowned.
"Something wrong?" Jake asked curiously. "Did I step on your foot?" He smiled.
'Really beautiful smile,' Buffy thought absently. "Oh, no, no - everything's fine. Except..." Renewed pangs of outrage shot through her as she saw Spike and the girl leave the floor and head towards the bar. 'No…no…maybe they're just thirsty," she whispered internally as they retrieved their things, said their goodbyes and walked out, obviously planning to continue their evening elsewhere.
"Except?" Jake prompted her gently and she guiltily looked back at him.
"Oh, except I think I'm feeling a little sick. I think I should make it an early night." She backed out of his arms and they headed back to the table.
"I'm sorry, hope it's not the company." Megawatt smile again. "I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime, maybe this Friday night if you're feeling better."
"Oh! Sure, go out, sure, I'd love to. Friday's great. Would you mind telling Xander I'm heading out and asking them to give my sister a ride? They look like they're having fun and I don't want to interrupt." 'Ok, need to stop saying oh…where's my vocabulary gone, anyway?' Right out the door with Spike, she answered herself dully. Buffy conjured up a smile for Jake as she grabbed her purse and prepared to flee the club.
"Not at all, I'll do that." He grasped her arm gently as she turned to go, "Phone number?"
"Oh, right!"
'Dammit, words Buffy. People use them to communicate.' She chastised herself.
"Um, you'll see Xander tomorrow, right?" She rifled through her small bag. "I can't find a pen. He can give it to you then. It was really nice to meet you. Looking forward to Friday night. Goodnight!" She hastily glued herself back together long enough to flash him another smile and wave goodbye as she walked out.
'Ok, no question anymore, I can admit it. Still got a few things to work out over the breakup. No problem, that's totally normal,' she reassured herself silently. 'I was a little jealous, but that's totally normal. After all, you can break things off, but feelings aren't always so quick to get the message. There's always residual, awkward stuff at the end of a relationship - wait - thing - wait - oh, whatever we had.'
She nodded to herself encouragingly. 'Ice cream and movies and a good cry are completely normal requirements for any type of breakup. So that's what I'll do. Go home, relax, do the whole official relationship ending ritual and get it out of my system and then I can focus on Jake or whoever. It's fine. I'm just fine.'
But it wasn't Jake's friendly face she was thinking of as she walked across the parking lot. Instead, the sight of Spike's fingers woven into the other girl's soft dark hair flashed across her mind again and she didn't feel fine at all. A faint wave of nausea rippled through her and she leaned against her car for a moment before opening the door and driving home slowly.
Dawn turned the key in the lock, letting herself in quietly. She heard the television in the living room and headed in to find her sister clutching a pillow to herself on the couch. Noting her red and suspiciously glassy eyes, Dawn sighed.
"You ok?" She asked.
Buffy held the pillow tighter. "Sure, I'm fine. Just not feeling too well, is all." She stared resolutely at television. "You have fun?"
Dawn crossed in front of her to collapse on the other end of the couch. "Sure, Steve's a good guy. Ten dates and counting and not bored yet." She eyed her sister warily. "Talked to Spike tonight. He's pretty down."
Buffy sniffed. "Yeah, so upset that he left with some girl. He recovered from his bad mood fast."
"Not that you care, of course." Dawn said with a raised eyebrow.
Buffy sighed. "He lied to me, Dawn. It may hurt now, but I can't be with someone who lied to me." Another sniffle. "Just another guy who'll tell you anything you want to hear to your face and then turn around and rip your heart out by showing his true side later and abandoning you. Better to get out now. I did. I got out and it's better that way. I can find some nice, normal honest guy. That's what I need."
"Buffy, Spike is a nice guy." Dawn said. "Remember? The guy who's been our friend forever? The guy who stuck around and helped out when Mom died and our father didn't even show up for the funeral? I don't know what happened, but I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt you."
"Dawn, he did hurt me. You remember! I walked in on Dru and him at his place. He cheated on me. Tell me again how nice a guy he is, really, 'cause I need to hear that!" Buffy mangled the pillow, twisting it in her hands, but her voice softened, "I know you love him. I'm not going to tell you not to talk to him or see him because I know how much you care about each other." Her tone grew stronger and colder. "But don't tell me what a great guy he is. I know what he's really like."
"Buffy, I don't believe it. I don't believe he'd cheat on you."
"He would. He did. I saw…" her voice broke.
Dawn slid over and hugged her sister. "Did you even give him a chance? Did you give him a chance to explain, Buffy?"
"NO! I saw. It was clear. Do you think I'd think he'd do this? But no! I saw it with my own eyes." She sobbed and mumbled, “why, what did he say to you?"
"Nothing. He won't tell me anything. Gets that stubborn look on his face, his jaw sets and that little muscle twitches and he tells me it isn't my business, that it's between the two of you. He'll talk about the weather or my life or current events, but he won't say a word on that subject."
"See, he doesn't even defend himself to you. Because he can't. He's guilty. He cheated on me with that…that…druggie ho." Buffy scrubbed her wet eyes furiously.
"Buffy," Dawn said uncertainly, "if he wanted to be with Dru, why isn't he with her now? I mean, I haven't seen him with anyone until tonight. If he wanted to get back together with her, where is she?"
Buffy frowned. "I don't know. I don't know where she is. Isn't that just typical of her, though? Show up, wreak havoc and disappear into the woodwork again. So very Dru."
"We helped him put himself back together after her overdose and their breakup, Buffy; do you really think he'd have wanted to get back into that life? He was miserable with her." She rearranged her sister until she was looking at her, "He was happy with you. You were both happy."
Buffy wrenched herself out of Dawn's embrace and stood up, tossing the couch throw back onto her sister. "Well, we're not happy now!" She laughed bitterly. "No, wait, he probably is happy - with his new Dru clone. Let's just hope this one is more drug and drama free for his sake, huh?" With that, she stalked up the stairs to bed, having had enough conversation for the evening.
"Well, you told him to leave you alone and get out of your life! What did you expect? Did you think he'd just pine after you forever while you ignored him?" Dawn yelled after her.
Dawn shook her head. 'Spike, what the hell did you do?' She thought grimly. She loved him like a brother and this whole situation brought back miserable echoes of her parents’ divorce. To be torn between two people you loved was horrible. She felt her own eyes well up. 'I just can't do this again. This has to be fixable.' But she'd noticed Spike's activities tonight too and she wondered if he'd finally listened to her sister and decided to forget about Buffy.