Buffy Summers fell asleep every night praying that she wouldn’t have the dream. The same dream she had off and on over the last four years, ever since she was almost raped by Parker Abrams, a boy she dated briefly during sophomore year of high school. Since that night, she had one particular dream, which consisted of her being raped by a man who she had never met before. A good-looking man with piercing blue eyes, shocking platinum blonde hair, sharp cheekbones, and a lean build haunted her constantly, and no matter what she did, she couldn’t stop his assault on her mind. She was helpless, and there wasn’t a trick that could save her from the dream. After it became common to have it at least twice a week, she learned to accept it, even as the images became more graphic and disturbing. She had grown used to the fact that she couldn’t control her dreams, and as much as she tried, it was a futile effort. The stranger was ingrained in her memory, and even if the dreams decided to stop one day, she’d never forget him and what he did to her.
‘I’m scarred for life,’ she thought on more than one occasion after waking up from the dream. ‘No amount of therapy or sleeping pills is going to help me. He might not have ever done any physical damage to me, but the emotional setbacks I endure are worse than that. Physical scars heal and fade, but emotional ones don’t. They stay with you.’
* * *
After spending a year in Los Angeles for college, Buffy returned home to Sunnydale in the middle of May for her summer break. She had barely been home for an hour when her doorbell rang. She opened the door to reveal Willow Rosenberg, her best friend since freshman year of high school. The redhead instantly hugged her, and Buffy couldn’t help but smile.
‘I’m home for the next three months,’ she thought. ‘Safe at home with my friends close by.’
“Hey,” Buffy said as the two girls separated, looking at each other. “I know it’s only been a month since I last saw you, but it seems like ages.”
“I know,” Willow agreed. “But I’m so happy you’re back! I can’t wait for you to meet someone.” Buffy raised an eyebrow, intrigued.
“A boyfriend?” she asked. Willow shook her head, blushing. “Then who is it?”
“A guy who was in my Elizabethan Literature class,” she answered. “He’s from London and had the opportunity to stay here and work with one of my professors on a project she’s undertaking.”
“So you offered to let him live with you?” Buffy asked, yawning. Willow frowned, nodding.
“You look like you didn’t get much sleep,” she said. “Did you have the dream last night?” Buffy nodded, looking away. Willow was the only person besides a therapist that she had confided in about the images that plagued her sometimes when she slept. “Is it getting any better?”
“Not at all,” Buffy answered quietly. “Things are starting to become more vivid, more clear. If anything, they’ve gotten worse.” She paused. “Dreams aren’t real. They don’t mean anything, right? They’re just something we subconsciously drum up while we sleep.”
“You’ve been telling yourself that for years now,” Willow replied. “And it doesn’t seem like you believe it any more than the last time I heard you say it.” Buffy’s shoulders slumped. “I know it’s hard for you, Buffy, and I’m going to do as much as I can to help. You know that.” Buffy managed a small smile.
“I know,” she said, sighing. “It’s just that I’ve tried as many resorts as possible- therapy, sleeping pills, dating Riley…nothing has helped.”
“Are you and Riley not together anymore?” Willow asked. Buffy nodded. “What happened?”
“I couldn’t sleep with him,” she shrugged. “I just got a little too freaked out, you know?”
“But you slept with Angel, didn’t you?” her friend asked.
“Yeah, and I was scared then, too,” Buffy said, looking down. “My idea of sleeping with someone just to try to forget about the dream didn’t work, and I couldn’t bring myself to go through with that again with Riley.”
“I don’t blame you,” Willow said. “I just wish I knew how to make things better for you.”
“Yeah,” Buffy said sheepishly before looking at her friend. “So, tell me about this guy you’re shacking up with.”
“It’s not like him and I are dating,” Willow mumbled, looking uncomfortable, causing Buffy to giggle. “He’s just a nice guy who needed a place to stay.”
“So why not live with a nice girl like you?” Buffy replied, smiling. Willow returned the gesture and looked at her watch.
“You know, I think he’s coming back from his Egyptian Mythology exam right about now,” Willow said.
“Wait- he took Elizabethan Literature and Egyptian Mythology?” Buffy asked, smirking. “He must be as much of a bookworm as you.” Willow giggled.
“No, I think I’m worse than he is,” she replied. “But he’s really intelligent. I think you’ll like him.”
“I’ll have to meet him sometime then,” Buffy said. Willow grinned and grabbed her friend’s hand. “What’re you doing?”
“Come on,” she replied. “Let’s go introduce you to William.” Buffy shook her head vehemently as Willow dragged her to her car.
“Please don’t do this,” Buffy pleaded as her friend playfully shoved her into the car. Buffy crossed her arms and pouted. “I hate when you get like this. Where’s sweet, laid-back Willow?”
“She’s around here somewhere,” Willow laughed, starting the car and heading towards her home.
“I look horrible,” Buffy muttered, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. “Couldn’t you have hostaged me when I actually looked good?”
“You always look good,” Willow replied. “Besides, he’s going to like you, I’m sure of it.”
“And what makes you so sure?” Buffy asked curiously, looking at her friend.
“Because you’re the type of girl that guys would die for,” Willow said, focusing on something outside. “And I think that when you meet the right guy, maybe the dream will go away.” She hesitated. “Well, maybe. I think you need to feel absolutely safe in order for that to happen.”
‘Which is highly unlikely,’ Buffy thought, frowning.
“And you think this William guy might be a potential Mr. Right?” she asked. Willow shrugged.
“You never know,” she answered, pulling up to her house minutes later. An old black car pulled in behind them as the girls got out, and when Buffy saw the driver of the car, her heart stopped and her body froze, panicked.
‘It can’t be,’ she thought, studying the man’s features. ‘There’s no way. I’ve never seen him before today…this can’t be happening. No, this isn’t real. I’m asleep, and it’s just a nightmare.’ She felt her eyes filling up with tears. ‘This isn’t real.’ It was seconds later when she blacked out.
***************************************************************************
A/N Okay, this is my second attempt at a story, and I wanted to go with a somewhat dark plot for this one. After reading several great fics based on dreams that either Buffy or Spike had, I decided that I wanted to do one, too, except this time, I wanted the dream to be horrible, unnerving. I hope everyone liked this first chapter, and I promise a lot of angst and some potentially disturbing situations. Reviews are encouraged and appreciated! Thanks!:)
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
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AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!