Chapter One
“Hello, luv,” a deep voice rumbled in Buffy’s ear causing her to shiver. She spun around and green met blue. She furrowed her brow and took a step back to take in the person pressing so close against her.
She couldn’t help the happiness that flooded her at seeing her best friend. If he even was that anymore. “Spike?”
He grinned saucily and spread his arms open wide, “in the undead flesh.”
She broke out into a huge smile and took the opportunity of his arms open wide to fling her arms around him and hug him.
He gently embraced her and enjoyed the warmth of her body against his. He allowed himself a sigh. He had missed her.
She broke away from him and studied him. “It would be really dumb to say you look the same wouldn’t it?”
He rolled his eyes, “yeah, luv, I think so.”
“Hey, you could have changed your style.” She giggled, “so the jeans and t shirt haven’t yet welded themselves onto your body huh?”
“Ha bloody ha,” but he was smiling. “How I’ve missed your sarcasm.”
She shrugged, “how could you not? So, the last time I saw you was…last year? About this time?”
“Yes, I believe you were on your way to England for a vacation. I got a letter that said you were staying indefinitely. But, funny how I never got the return address.”
She looked down and away. Then, she shrugged. “I liked it there.”
He cocked his head to the side and she met his gaze straight on. He was doing the classic look of trying to get to the bottom of what she was thinking. The best way to not give him any fodder was to meet his gaze.
“Hiding something, pet?” He asked.
“No.”
“Why didn’t you want me to know where you were?”
She shrugged. “What does it matter?”
“I missed you. I wanted to know where you were, if you were all right.”
“Well, I’m here, aren’t I? And I’m all right. All in one piece.”
“You’re lucky I didn’t come after you.”
“Bit dramatic, don’t you think?” She raised her eyebrows.
His eyes flashed then, humor gone. “I had a half a mind to.”
“Why didn’t you then?” She challenged him.
“Figured you’d rather have me stay and protect those nearest and dearest.”
“You don’t have to do anything for me, Spike. You never had to.”
“No, but I choose to.”
“A vampyre with the deep-seated respect and desire for a family. How sweet.” She was being bitter now. Their reunion had gone from pleasant to horrid in seconds. It figured she wouldn’t be able to come back and have no questions asked. She had hoped that enough time had passed for her departure and her desire to not come back to be, if anything, forgiven.
“Don’t give me that. Just because you felt the need to abandon everyone-“
“Oh for Christ’s sake! I didn’t abandon anyone. I traveled. Everyone knew where I was—“she stopped then. Uh-oh. She hadn’t met for that last part to come out.
His eyes went from anger, to hurt and then back to anger. “You kept in touch with everyone? You mean to tell me I was the only one who was kept out of the loop as to where you were? How is that, Supergirl?”
“Don’t call me that,” she told him through clenched teeth. “I’m not Supergirl. I’m just Buffy.”
“Just Buffy, huh? Did visiting a different country zap you of your super powers then? Or can you still take out a few vamps, a demon and whatever else comes along without breaking a sweat?”
Her eyes flashed then, “shut up, Spike,” she hissed.
“Prefer Wonder Woman then?”
She glared at him, clenching her fists.
“I know you want to hit me,” he said darkly. “Why don’t you just do it?”
She straightened, “because I’m not that girl anymore. I left her here when I left. I became me and I don’t have any desire to be ‘wonder woman’ any longer. Good-bye Spike.” She stalked off, beer on the bar forgotten.
Spike watched her walk away and clenched and unclenched his jaw several times. Bloody chit. No, no this wasn’t right. There was no way she was going to walk away from him. There was no way she was going to up and leave for a year without telling him where she was and what she was doing. There was no way she was going to get away with keeping him out of the bloody loop. Not after he’d stood by her, fought by her side, been there for her…loved her. He stormed off in her direction. Pushing his way through the crowd he followed her scent outside. He took a right onto the sidewalk out of the bar and saw her halfway down the street, pulling her sweater tighter around her. He took off in a flash and grabbed her arm. She quickly twisted his arm so that she was the one grabbing his and flung him halfway across the street.
“Not Wonder Woman any longer huh?” He asked as he sat up on his elbows.
She narrowed her eyes at him, “Jesus Christ, Spike! What the hell are you doing?”
He got up, wiping blood away from his mouth and planted himself in front of his fuming Wonder Woman.
“Think I’d make it easy for you to just walk away from me?” He asked.
She rolled her eyes, “the real question is do you ever make anything easy? Which is exactly why I didn’t tell you where I was, specifically.”
He didn’t try to hide the hurt any longer. “Why? Why did you lie to me? Why did everyone else lie to me?”
“They were respecting my wishes.”
“And you? I can take their lying to me—sort of. But you? How could you do that?”
“I did what I had to.” She whispered.
“What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that I wanted to get away from here for a while Spike. Boston wasn’t my home anymore. It was becoming something entirely different. And goddammit, I’m not the damn Slayer. It’s not my job to clean up the streets. I’m not a Chosen One. I’m just a girl that happened to be born with powers—”
“A witch with the ability to kick ass.”
“Exactly. And I didn’t want to be her anymore. I wanted to be me. The me without the powers. The me who enjoys the sun and hanging out with her friends. The me who has choices.”
He folded his arms across his chest and studied her. She was shaking. Obviously upset. “You always have choices, Buffy. No matter who you are or what powers you have.”
“I protected them the best I could as I was gone. I still practiced my magic.” She sighed heavily. “And I knew that you were here. That was another reason I asked them to not say anything.”
“Bloody hell, woman!” He threw up his arms. “You mean to tell me that you used me?”
She looked away. “Part of going away to be me meant leaving behind the vampyre that was my friend. Not exactly part of the normal life I was trying to…try on.”
Now, his hurt was more than apparent. It was broadcasted for any to see. He looked as if she had driven a stake through his heart.
“How could you?” He whispered. “After all we’d been through?”
Her eyes welled up in tears. She hadn’t ever wanted him to know the truth. She couldn’t stand the hurt apparent on him. It rolled off of him in waves and made her want to break down and beg forgiveness. Which, she realized, was what she should do. Instead though, she looked straight at him.
“I always have choices, remember?” She told him and walked away again.
He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. “I should be the one walking away from you after what you did to me. Not the other way around.” He ground out.
“Then walk away,” she challenged him. She stared defiantly at him and nearly faltered when she saw tears forming. Instead though, he grabbed her and pulled her against him and kissed her hard. It was a wholly carnal, demanding and possessive kiss.
She pushed at him and still he kissed her. His canines nipped her tongue and she pushed with all her might, but his anger and hurt gave him strength greater than hers. Usually, they were equals, but when emotions were running high—especially with Spike—he had insane strength. He growled at her as she pushed and for once in her life, she was afraid of him. He left her mouth as blood spilled into it and within a second she felt his fangs sink into her neck. She tensed with shock—no, no, no—oh god.
“Mine!” He growled fiercely as he sipped her blood, “You’re mine.”
Oh, God. He didn’t. He just claimed her. Marked her as his mate. Her fear gave her back the strength that seemed to leave her body after his assault. She pushed with all she had in her and succeeded in shoving him clear away. He landed in a heap in the alley and hit the wall. He slid down, eyes fixed and glowing on her. She swiped at the blood she could feel trickling down her neck. His eyes went wide with shock as blood dripped off his canines.
“Oh god, no, I didn’t—Buffy, I didn’t—Oh god, I’m so sorry—“ He started to stand but this time she ran as hard and as fast as she could. Away from the monster who bit her; ran away from the monster who claimed her so savagely. Away from her once best friend.
Spike sank back down into the concrete floor and sobbed. He’d hurt her. He hadn’t meant to, he was just so hurt…he felt so betrayed and he loved her so much. He had missed her while she was gone. Missed her so much his undead heart seemed to constantly ache. When he had been told by her letter that she was not coming home any time soon, his whole world had fallen apart. The only thing that had kept him going was the thought that one day she would be back and that by staying beside her family, he was doing her good. It hurt to know that she hadn’t even sought him out when she’d arrived home. He tried to be casual about it, figured she’d tell him in her own time. But, there was something different about her and if there was one thing Spike wasn’t, it was patient. Her betrayal of him cut so deeply, and his fear of losing her completely obliterated all rational thought. With his claim on her, she would be bound to him forever. She belonged to him now. Oh God, what if she left again? She could. She could up and leave…but he could find her this time. She hated him now. There was nothing stopping her from staking him this time! His thoughts jarbled, his feelings strewn, there was only one thing he knew he had to do: get her to forgive him.
Chapter Two
Buffy ran as if Satan himself were on her heels. It pretty much felt like it. She ran so hard and so fast, she felt as if she were flying. Her feet never seemed to touch the ground. She could feel the blood on her neck beginning to dry and it was a reminder of what he’d done. Spike, how could you? She kept seeing his face, sweet Spike, caring Spike, fighting by her side Spike. Vicious Spike claiming her? No, no, no. It couldn’t be true. The stabbing pain she could now feel in her neck told her otherwise. How could he do something like this? He was always on her side, fighting with her, vowing to always be there for her. Tears marred her vision, now he’d gone and done the unspeakable. He’d bitten her. Claimed her. Chained her to him for all eternity. What had possessed him to do it? Was he unable to control his bloodlust? He’d never had a problem before. His soul…oh god, did he lose his soul?
“Giles! Giles, open up!” She pounded on her High Priest’s door. His place was the only sanctuary she could think of.
The door flew open and Giles stood there in his robe, looking quite shaken and groggy. “Buffy? What is it?” Then he saw her neck and his jaw dropped. He grabbed her hands and led her in quickly, stealing a glance to see if anyone was following.
“Dear God, what happened?” He asked as he went for first aid supplies. “Who got to you? Did you dust it?”
She shook her head and wiped her tears away. “I-I wasn’t prepared.”
Giles’ eyes went wide. “What do you mean you weren’t prepared? Just because you don’t want to be hunting demons anymore doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be prepared.”
“It was Spike, Giles.” At the look of pure shock on his middle-aged features, Buffy promptly burst into fresh tears. “He bit me. He-he claimed me, Giles.”
Giles looked about ready to fall over, “he did—what?”
“Claimed me. Made me his,” she spat ‘his’ out as if it were contaminated.
“What prompted him to do such a thing?”
“He found out about my trip. How I didn’t want him to know. How I tried to cut ties with him…”
“You told him?”
“It kind of came out. He freaked on me. He was so angry and hurt. . .he kissed me and then he… he bit me.”
“Did he say the words?”
She nodded glumly, “he said ‘mine. You’re mine.’”
“Oh Dear God.” He pushed her gently into his chair and started to clean the infected area. He apologized when she hissed at him. “He wasn’t very gentle.”
“There’s a gentle way to be bit?”
“Yes, there is. When vampires mate, it can be quite an erotic experience. What Spike did…his anger is apparent by the bite. Did you feel anything at all?”
“I couldn’t register anything beyond shock and…sadness.”
“Sadness?”
“It’s Spike, Giles. Spike, whom befriended me when he should have hated me.”
“Well, he had a soul. He knew right from wrong.”
“Spike who was there when the Slayer thought I was a demon and wanted to take me out.”
“He cares about you.”
Buffy glared at him then and moved away from him. “Cares about me? Cares? Does someone do this,” she pointed to the wound on her neck, “because they care? No, Giles. He doesn’t care about me, not anymore!”
“When a vampire claims a mate, it’s not merely about possession. It’s about love. Their inner nature, the demon, calls out for it.”
Buffy’s eyes widened. “Are you telling me that Spike claimed me because he and his demon love me?”
Giles looked down at the floor, guiltily. “I’m afraid so.”
“And you, Giles?” She pointed at him accusingly.
His head shot up, “me…what?”
“You don’t seem so surprised by this. Did you know about it all this time? Did you want it to happen?”
Giles stood and tried to go to her, but she stepped back. He stood rooted where he was and looked at her, pain evident on his face. “No, I didn’t know he would do this. I-I knew, well, suspected at least, of his feelings toward you.”
Her eyes widened, “and you kept it from me? All this time, you kept it from me?”
“I never thought he would take it to such extremes. You say he found out about your vacation?”
She nodded, wrapping her arms around herself. “He interrogated me. You know how he gets when he wants to know something. I let it slip and he was so hurt…so…angry.” Her voice trailed off and tears started to roll again at the memory of his deed.
“Despite that, he shouldn’t have done it. It is unforgivable. He never even gave you the choice.”
“There is a choice when a vampire claims?”
“Yes, always. It’s like a ritual for them. It’s usually done…in the act of…well, in the act of…um—“
“Sex?”
Giles blushed and took off his glasses to clean them. “Yes, in the act of sex. A vampire claims another vampire—not very often is it a human—by biting them and the claim is reciprocated by a bite. It’s like a marriage. A stronger marriage than those of humans.”
“I know that part. So, then, this claim…can it be reversed? Can it be undone? Is there a spell?”
Giles looked at his spiritual child sadly, “I’m sorry, Buffy. There isn’t. A vampire claim is the strongest magic there is. Anything that involves blood is infinitely strong.”
“This isn’t happening to me. I haven’t even been home a week and I’ve gotten into more trouble than when I was hunting demons. I…he can sense me, he’ll know when I’m in trouble and all that, right?”
“Yes, he can sense when you’re in trouble. He can sense where you are, when you’re close. He can call to you and you will go to him.”
“Can he sense that I hate him? Can he sense that?” She asked, her voice whispering hatred and loathing.
“I don’t think he needs sense to tell him that,” Giles said quietly.
“What am I going to do now? There has to be a way to keep him at bay. A way to keep him away from me. He claimed me, but I never claimed him. The claim can’t be so strong without the other side.”
“Well, there is a missing link, but it is strong nonetheless. The demon in him will hunt you if you run.”
“Are you condoning this, Giles? It sure sounds as if you are!”
He stood up and stalked over to her. He went to touch her, but she flinched and he stopped. “It’s like he raped you,” Giles muttered.
“That’s how it feels, Giles. He took something that didn’t belong to him. He attacked me, Giles. And you are acting as if you’re conducting a simple science experiment! He tore my flesh, drank my blood and staked his claim on me!”
“Buffy, I do not condone what he did at all! I am in shock of how he could…you know that Spike and I never started out on the right foot with each other. He was quite the vicious monster before his soul, I quite remember warning you of it when you became friends with him. Did you listen to me? No. He proved himself time and again. He stood by you, protected you and your family—me—time and again. I’m in shock that he could do something like this. Did he—did he lose his soul?”
“I didn’t ask. He didn’t seem any different. It wasn’t until after I told him that I didn’t want him to know where I was that he…changed.”
“What do you want me to do? I’ll do anything you ask of me. You know I will.”
“I don’t know what I want you to do Giles!” She burst out. “I want—I want the claim to be undone and you can’t do that!”
Giles hung his head sadly, “I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry! I want him to stay away from me. I don’t want to see him, I don’t want to be his…”she started to sob and sank into Giles’ couch. “I want to be normal. I want to be me again. I was so happy in England. I was afraid to come back…I knew the insanity would start all over again…I did miss him, you know? I did. And I didn’t want to. I tried so hard not to. I missed him and I tried so hard to shut him completely out. When I saw how hurt he was tonight, I felt so guilty. I wanted to cry for him, with him.” She sprang up then, “and then he bit me! He was so vicious and uncaring! He wasn’t the Spike I missed and the Spike that I felt so guilty over. He hurt me and I am so angry at myself for caring that I hurt him. I don’t want to see him, Giles. Ever. You have to help me. You have to help me fight the claim. There has to be a way. If he calls to me, you can stop me. You can stop him. Please, Giles, please…please." She sobbed in earnest now her constant plea forming as she was brought into the comfort of Giles’ arms. She didn’t see that, Giles too, wept.
Review Please!! TBC...
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!