Prologue.
Vampires.
Everywhere she went, she’d find vampires. Of course it was her job to find vampires. But really. In Essex. It’s like there was no escaping them, even with the army of slayers by her side.
Right now Buffy was completely surrounded. No way out, other than making one from a path of dust. At least ten vamps were snarling in the room with her, and she could sense several more keeping guard outside. Looking around the abandoned house’s decaying living room, to check for any last survivors, they slowly began to approach. Each of them growling with hunger for the kill.
She knew fully well she could take them easily. After seven years fighting on the hell mouth, and a good few months away from it, she knew they wouldn’t even be able to get one hit on her.
In all honesty, she could take anything. Nothing the world threw at her since that fateful last day, had posed even a small amount of challenge to the longest living slayer in recorded history. She no longer felt like she was fighting for her life to save the world. Because nothing could kill her. Not anymore. She finally felt immortal.
She felt like a machine, being pointed at targets, and told to strike. She barely felt alive. Barely even real. And yet eternal.
Her friends were all gone. Each of them had all finally chosen to leave her. Everyone left her. In the end, everyone left.
Even when they didn’t want to.
Giles and Andrew were in London, setting up the new council. Robin and Faith were in Cleveland, keeping tabs on the hell mouth they had up there. Xander was being all world traveler guy, and picking up new slayers he found along the way. Willow and Kennedy had gone to a coven deep in South America, in hopes of finding out what after affects the slayer spell might have had on Willow and the rest of the world. And Spike…
All gone. All alone. Always.
But she still had her little sister… for now.
She and Dawn were just going anywhere Giles and the council were telling them to. At least until school would start back up again for Dawn anyway, and then she’d head back to Italy, were the two sisters had set up shop. Leaving Buffy completely alone.
Originally, Dawn was supposed to be staying in Italy anyway, whilst Buffy went out on her assignments. But she had refused to leave Buffy’s side for two main reasons. The first being, going with Buffy gave Dawn a chance to finally see the world. A world she’d been a part of for so very long and yet seen so very little of. And the other being Buffy needed someone right now. Desperately.
Ever since the hell mouth, she’d been stuck on auto pilot. And the fact all of her friends had left her to do ‘more important things’, wasn’t helping her at all. Right now Buffy needed someone. Anyone. And Dawn was gonna be that someone. For a while anyway.
Looking up at the vampires surrounding her, Buffy couldn’t help but smile. These guys were dust.
Pulling her stake swiftly from the back of her trousers, were it had carefully been tucked, Buffy quickly staked the first two standing in front of her. Going straight into battle mode.
No world existed except for the fight. No lost friends. No tragic past. No dead loved ones. Just her weapon, the target and her. And nothing could stand in her way. She was the slayer.
As she went to turn towards the others, three of the smaller, more eager vamps, ran at her from all sides. Not even flinching, Buffy went into a quick backflip and kick, throwing off the first one, as well as moving her swiftly out of the path of the others. Not suspecting her sudden movements, the two vamps crashed into each other, and comically fell to the floor in a heap.
Buffy laughed to herself as she dusted two more before any of them even had the chance to turn around. These were stupid fresh fledges. Who were too controlled by their blood lust and new found power to let their brains help them in the fight. They were acting on pure instinct and pure instinct alone.
She was just about to take down another growling monster, when she heard one of them speak.
There was nothing particularly interesting about this vamp. He wasn’t special. About the same age as the rest. About the same strength. He was the very embodiment of nothing special.
But he managed to stop her fighting, freeze her in place, with just one simple sentence.
“Come on slayer, you know you wanna dance.”
That sentence; those exact words, and she stopped. Just for a second.
And thought of him.
Spike.
How she had ever thought he was beneath her was stupid. If anything she was beneath him. Even before the soul, he had sometimes tried to be good. For her. He’d died for her. Saved the world, for her.
And in that instant she froze, slipping out of battle mode, just for a second. But it was enough for the vamp to her right to knock the stake straight from her hand.
She was about to swing back into the action, when her weapon slowly rolling across the floor caught her eye. And she was swept into another long forgotten thought.
‘Lesson the first, a slayer must always reach for her weapon.’
His words. They echoed threw her just long enough for a vamp to grab her from behind and pull her close to him; hungry for her life.
He was right. Spike was always right. Without her weapon, she could beat them to a bloody pulp. But she couldn’t kill them.
And that’s all she had been doing these past few months. Killing. Wake up, eat food, see Dawn, get mission from Giles, go out, kill. Night after night. Every night.
No team. No Scobbies. No life. Just the kill.
She’d lost almost all her ties to the world. No mum, nor friends. She’d even lose Dawn when school started up again. She wasn’t needed anymore. Not important anymore. Many more out there just like her. Why would one slayer matter in amongst hundreds?
And as the vamp behind her slowly began descending his fangs towards her bare neck, in a hold she could easily escape from. She had another thought. A devastating thought.
‘Lesson the second: Ask the right questions… Part of you is desperate to know, what's it like? Where does it lead you?.. Every Slayer has a death wish. Even you…’
And as the hard fangs tore into her neck, she gasped for breath, and she knew he’d been right. ‘Cause in that moment, Buffy didn’t even think about escaping the vampire behind her. Didn’t even struggle. She could feel the life being sucked out of her like a storm, and she couldn’t find it in her to care.
She just stood there and wished. Wished so hard she could do it again. Do it right.
No army of slayers. Or friends spread across the globe. Or the one she loved a pile of dust she couldn’t even reach.
And in that moment, the one place she wanted to be more than anything, was Sunnydale.
To have another chance.
To be back home.
To not be here anymore.
‘And the second - the second that happens, you know I'll be there.’
She just hoped he was right.
And she was gone.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!