Vampires Aren’t Even Real
-Let’s just say.... “it’s a good story“-
The vampire, a strong, nocturnal creature and product of hell. A tough attitude and quick wit. Each and every one of them, a bloodthirsty killer. Spike was beginning to wonder what his problem actually was. Why he wasn’t feeling the need to just kill the next pathetic, whiney but totally adorable girl he came across. But then he saw her...and it hit him...hard.
“So we meet again. O’ so murderous one.” The slayer said as she gave Spike a good crack in the jaw. “What’s on the menu tonight? Teenager? Baby? Elderly?” She added a knee in the gut with her last word.
Bent over holding his stomach, Spike glared up at her. “None of the above, cutie.” He slowly stood up. “They’re all just a bunch of teases, you on the other hand. Oh you. You’d be like having a three-course meal all in one bite, sweetheart.” He grinned perilously with a small hint of admiration.
The slayer gave out a sarcastic laugh. “Fantasize all you want, Prince Peroxide. The only thing you’ll be biting is the dust.” She swung her stake at him, getting closer and closer to his heart with every fraction of a second, then he caught her wrist about an inch away from his chest and twisted it slightly.
Face to face the fated enemies stood, never breaking eye contact. Spike tilted his head just barely to the left and smirked at her. Something passed between them, something unknown, something... “Now now, Luv. If you killed me, who would you have to smash for fun?” He raised his eyebrow.
A look of annoyance and lust came over Buffy’s face...what a mix of emotion, she thought to herself. Not letting that stop her though, she kicked him in the shin and pulled her wrist out of his grasp. Holding eye contact for a few more breif seconds, she then turned around and began walking away, down the dark street, to her home, to her sister, to her friends, to the place that made her feel so...bored.
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“Buffy, why was Spike standing outside of the house last night?” Dawn curiously asked while stuffing an unusually large slice of pizza into her mouth. She wasn’t going to say anything, but being Dawn the girl who wanted to know all, she had to ask.
Peering over her newspaper, she searched her mind for the answer. “Maybe... he was looking for something that he lost...or something, I don‘t know.” Great, now he was hanging around outside her house, this was a vampire with some major confusion as to what role he played in life. Something had to be done.
Dawn and Buffy exchanged a look, both thinking the same thing, that he was planning some sort of attack, there could be no other logical explanation for him hanging around, it was just entirely too strange even for the Hell Mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With one forceful kick, Buffy had the crypt door swinging open. She walked inside with arrogance written all over her face. She saw him standing over a sarcophagus with a wine glass full of blood, and dim candles surrounding him. “Why’ve you been lurking around in my territory?” She got straight to the point, there was no need to start with small talk.
He raised both eyebrows as if to say she were making up this fact. “ ‘Scuse me?” He innocently asked. Dieing to hear how she found out. Sipping his pigs blooded, he listened to her.
“You know what I’m talking about. Dawn saw you outside of our house and I want to know what you were doing out there so I can decide if it’s worth killing you over.” Her voice echoed throughout the murky and musty crypt.
Spike grinned. “Heh...” Pausing as he walked towards her. Once he got about a half of a foot away from her face, he began again. “...well Slayer, I just figured since you can roam around in my crypt anytime you bloody well feel like it, I thought I could linger around your stomping grounds for a bit, keep a watch on things...” He quieted his voice to a seductive tone. “...but that’s not really what you’re here for, is it now?”
Catching on to what he was getting at, she smiled making him think he was right, and put both of her hands on his chest. Their noses almost touched when finally she shoved him away. “Dream on. It’s NEVER gonna happen. Need I define ‘never’?”
Regaining his footing, he glared at her out of the corner of his eyes. “Sod off, Slayer.” He was tired of her being such a bitch and denying her true feelings for him. If that’s how she wanted it then it was fine with him... until the next time he let himself get lured into the ‘Being attracted to the slayer’ trap.
“Stay away from my house. Cause if I catch you out there, I’ll hand Xander a mace so he can beat the undead life out of you.” Why she bothered threatening him anymore, she didn’t know. It never really did work anyway, but it was always worth the shot. The sound of her boots across the floor was all that was heard as she exited his crypt.
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The following night, when Buffy was returning home from patrol, she approached her walkway to the front door when not much to her surprise, he was there. Walking over to him she began her ranting as she usually did. “You are so lucky Xander isn’t...”
Spike interrupted her. “Shut up will you? Bloody hell.” He looked across the street, at a row of bushes that were being rustled by someone or something. “Look, over there.” He motioned to the animated shrubbery.
Buffy intently and silently watched. Within seconds she was slowly walking over to the bushes, hoping this wasn’t another vampire she had to put up with tonight.
As she approached with Spike following close behind, the bushes began to sway a little more, then suddenly, Dawn jumped out! “Boo!!!” She yelled, causing Buffy to not only jump a mile and scream, but also Spike to start cracking up.
“Slayer, oh hell your face was... priceless!” He was doubled over with laughter by then.
“Shut up!” She started to punch him in the arm and continued doing so until she started laughing herself. All three of them stood in the middle of the street forgetting for once who they were. No longer during those few mere minutes was Buffy the slayer, Spike a vampire, nor Dawn the key but they were all simply...friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I can’t wait to read more of that book later.” Said one bottle-blonde to the other. “It’s funny how vampires aren’t even real and yet there are hundreds of books written about them.” She pointed out to her beau, as they sat on the sunny California beach, watching dolphins, having a picnic and reading about the many tales of vampires and the slayer.
-Stand Alone Fic-
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!