Buffy Summers was one unhappy girl.
For one thing, she’d recently discovered that her sister was actually a fabrication made by a bunch of monks and sent to her to be protected. For another, she’d been staked the night before with her own weapon by a smelly vampire.
And to make things worse, she was therefore spending the evening with the last person she liked to spend any time with.
Make that two, she thought with a grimace as Anya approached the table she was sharing with Spike at the Bronze. But Anya was Xander’s girlfriend, and Buffy was trying to be a good friend, so she smiled brightly at the other girl and said, “Hey! What brings you to the Bronze?”
Anya made a face. “Well, I was going to go patrolling with everyone else, but Riley seemed to have it all under control.” She shuddered at Buffy’s boyfriend’s name, and Buffy squashed the urge to get annoyed with her. Xander’s girlfriend, Xander’s girlfriend, Xander’s girlfriend… she chanted to herself. “So what are you doing here?” Anya asked innocently.
Buffy nodded at the second chair at her table, where Spike sat languidly. “He’s going to tell me some things I need to know.”
Anya beamed. “Oh, a date!”
Spike smirked with smug calm. Buffy could only gape at Anya with horror as she prattled on. “I’ve always thought that you two would be good for each other. I mean, it’s not like you’d be happy with normal Riley! And you’ve got all that insecurity about your men leaving you, and Spike loves with his whole heart… He would never let you go.” Anya’s gaze took on a faraway look. “Well, not unless you pushed him away.”
Buffy was inordinately grateful to Spike, who was looking even paler than usual, when he finally stopped Anya. “As much fun as that might be, love, I think you’re getting the wrong idea.”
“Yeah. Much wrongness there,” Buffy said firmly. Only Anya would come up with an idea that ridiculous.
Anya’s face fell, and Buffy wondered at her distress at the situation. “But you’re perfect together!” She looked sheepish. “Fine. I get it. You’re just going to stick with the talkage. I’ll leave you two alone.”
She walked away with a strange spring to her step.
Buffy stared at Spike. Spike stared at Buffy. There was a long silence where neither one would look at the other, and Buffy was suddenly reminded of the awkwardness that had surrounded the first few days after their faux engagement.
Finally, Buffy couldn’t stand the quiet anymore. “So! The Slayers. Let’s hear it.”
Leave it to Anya to ruin a purely business arrangement with her big mouth. Buffy tried to force Anya’s pervasive words out of her mind, reminding herself that it was Anya, and she couldn’t be taken seriously, no matter how insightful she had seemed. But she noticed that Spike was a little less snarky than usual all night, and she herself wasn’t as much with the obnoxious as Spike usually brought out in her.
And by the end of the night, despite Anya’s words about their “date” ringing in her ears, she still didn’t object when Spike walked home with her.
It’s not like I’d ever think of Spike as a prospective boyfriend, she reminded herself. But he’s been staking out my house all the time lately. I’m just saving him a trip.
He did stake out her house, just like she’d expected. She could see him through her mother’s window while her mother broke the news about her planned visit to the hospital.
And later, when it was all too much too handle and she was in tears on her back porch, when Spike approached, she didn’t force him away. It seemed perfectly natural that he would sit down beside her, silently sharing in her anguish and easing the load, just a little.
--
Buffy wiped the grin off her face as she opened the door to Xander and Anya’s apartment. The night had gone on just as she’d planned. She’d sown some seeds of…something…between past!Buffy and Spike, and then spent the rest of the night training at the Magic Box, figuring out how to work with her skills in Anya’s body.
This shouldn’t have been that hard. Technically, she could just tell her friends who she was and, assuming they believed her, they could work together to stop Glory. But there was still the risk factor.
”I’ve set up the spell so that you’ll be transferred into your past self,” Willow had told her. “It’s the easiest way.”
“Why don’t you just send me back as I am now?” Buffy suggested. “I’m much more fit now. And then past!Buffy won’t lose a year of her life.”
Willow shook her head. “You can’t do that. It creates a temporal paradox. The instant that past!Buffy would be made aware that you were from her future, there would be a temporal collapse that would probably send you right back here, right now. Better that Buffy loses a year than we lose this window of opportunity.”
If she could persuade them not to tell Buffy, she’d be safe. But the odds of them even believing her long enough to help hide the truth were low.
So instead, she spent as much time as possible avoiding her friends.
She hadn’t realized just how hard it was to be Anya. Granted, Anya had gotten high-maintenance and whiny at times, but Buffy was beginning to understand why. Riley ignored her, which was a relief. She just felt awkward and uncertain around her onetime boyfriend. Willow hated her at this point, and that hadn’t improved much over the years. Xander treated her as though she was just a piece of fluff, quieting her whenever she spoke up and acting as if she was incapable of shaping intelligent thoughts. It was disturbing to realize that Xander treated her past self and Willow better than his own girlfriend.
Why did she stay with him? Buffy wondered. She had the nagging feeling that it was because Anya had no one else to go to. Poor, poor Anya…
Now came the hardest part of the night, better known as the Avoid-Physical-Contact-With-Xander dance. She inched the door open, careful not to let it squeak when she entered, and slid inside. Xander was nowhere in sight, but she could hear the shower. Perfect. She curled up on the couch, praying that she’d fall asleep before Xander emerged.
When Xander finally did come out of the shower, she was apparently fast asleep and snoring slightly. He sighed heavily when he saw her and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips, then turned to head for the bedroom. “What did I do?” he mumbled to himself as he vanished into their room.
Buffy, her eyes still tightly shut, bit her lip. She did feel guilty about doing this, but there were some lines she refused to cross.
It was time to plan the next few days.
--
Spike was awakened by the sound of his crypt door smashing open. “Come in, Slayer,” he called, not bothering to sit up on his sarcophagus to face her.
Instead, he heard the footsteps stop short and Anya’s voice saying interestedly, “Wow. I thought that I would be too weak to pull that off.”
Spike jerked up, mildly perplexed. “What can I do for you, Demon Girl?”
She shook her head. “You’re nice to me. Well, as nice as you are to any of us. Why can’t Xander be that nice?”
Oh, no. Was this Anya’s way of flirting with him? He’d have imagined that foreplay with Anya would consist of, “Do you want to make orgasms together?” or something similar.
Anya plopped down next to him on the sarcophagus. “Whatcha doing?”
“Well, I was sleeping,” Spike informed her. “Any chance you’ll let me get back to that?”
In response, Anya reached out to run her fingers up and down his arm.
“Anya?” Spike tried, a little concerned at the contact.
She didn’t appear to have heard him. She reached his neck and brushed against it with the back of her fingers, inhaling deeply.
“Anya!” Spike snapped his fingers in her face. She gasped, startled. “As flattering as this is, I think you’re getting the wrong idea. I’d love to stick it to the lackbrain, but…” But I’m going for blondes now? But I’m getting fuzzy feelings for your boyfriend’s best friend, and she wouldn’t handle this very well? But as stunning as you are, I’m a little afraid that you’ll get your vengeance demon friends to curse off my testicles?
“But you’re in love with Buffy,” she said absently, running her fingers through his hair.
“What?” Spike’s mouth went dry and he forced a wild laugh. “N-no I’m not! That’s ridiculous!” he said, sounding so absurdly false, he wanted to slap himself.
Anya grinned impishly. “You so are.”
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
“Am- Okay, enough. I don’t know what delusion you’re suffering these days, but I am most definitely not in love with the Slayer. I might want to shag her silly, yeah. But that doesn’t mean I won’t kill her afterwards!” he said emphatically.
“No, you won’t,” Anya informed him, her hands splaying out and tracing the lines of his chest as though she’d had them memorized.
He swatted her hands away, earning himself a brief shock from the chip. “Much as I know everyone wants to get a hold of my tight, hot bod, would you stop that?”
“Right,” she said, reluctantly pulling her hands away. “Sorry.” But she still kept gazing at him like he was the Holy Grail. “It’s just nice to…to talk to you. Get to know you.”
“So far, all you know is that I’m not in love with Buffy,” Spike reiterated, narrowing his eyes at her. “Why are you here, anyway?”
“Ha!” She pointed at him triumphantly. “You said Buffy, not Slayer! You are in love with her!”
“No, I’m not! That’s obscene, and sick, and wrong, loving a Slayer is. I would never become some sad little puppy-dog hanging on Bu- on the Slayer’s heels, like Angelus.”
Anya sighed. “Look, are you going to keep doing the denial thing, or are you finally going to accept that you’re in love with her so I can help you win her over?”
Spike blinked. “You want me to…”
“Be with Buffy, yes,” Anya said tiredly. “You two are perfect for each other, and the sooner you figure that out, the happier you’ll both be.”
Spike tilted his head, studying the ex-demon. “Why do you even care?”
She looked away then, for the first time since they’d begun the conversation. When she met his gaze again, she was smiling and blunt and looked more like herself than she had for the entire conversation. “Because I believe that the more sex you both have, the happier we’ll all be!” she informed him cheerily. “Now, here’s what you have to do.”
She moved toward the trapdoor leading to the bottom level as though she’d lived in his crypt for years. “How’d you know about that?” he asked suspiciously.
She looked flustered for a moment, but recovered quickly. “I notice things,” she said, her head help high. “No one bothers to listen to me, that’s all.” Spike could only stare. “Now, you’re probably setting up some freaky shrine down there, right?”
Spike frowned. “I wasn’t-“
She waved a hand airily. “Don’t worry about it. Just don’t do it. It’s disturbing and weird and so not the way to make her love you.”
“Then what do you suggest?” Spike snapped.
Anya held up a finger. “No stalking her.” Another finger. “No chaining her up and professing your love.” A third finger. “And no creepy Buffybots!”
“Huh?”
“Never mind.” She folded her arms. “What Buffy needs is someone she can count on. Someone she trusts, who also keeps her on her toes. Try sending her flowers or something.” She reconsidered. “Nah, I’d find that creepy, actually. Just… go with her on patrols. Keep her company. But don’t say stupid stuff or nasty things that’ll make her angry.“
Spike stared blankly at Anya. “Have you been sampling Magic Box herbs or something, love?”
She grinned, and rose onto her toes to press her lips against his. “Just follow my directions and you’ll be fine. I’ll work on Buffy.” Then she was gone again, leaving behind a very bemused Spike.
--
The taste of Spike still a shadow on her lips, Buffy was back at the Magic Box just in time to come face-to-face with Glory. Her eyes widened at the hellgod’s nerve, walking straight into their headquarters to get the supplies meant to take them down.
She bumped into her at full force, succeeding in knocking over Glory’s bags and spilling her wares all over the floor. “Hey!” she said loudly, staring at the wares. “Giles! You can’t sell those together!” She lifted one item, backing away as Glory’s eyes darkened.
“Why not?” Giles asked, frowning.
Buffy froze. Damn. I have no idea. “Because it could make a giant evil animal or something?” she tried. “I, uh… I forget the details.”
Glory tapped her foot impatiently. “I really don’t have time for this,” she decided, and grabbed Buffy, lifting her up by the neck and shaking her until Buffy dropped the amulet that she had been holding. She pushed Giles away when he tried to stop her, then dropped the ineffectually struggling Buffy in a heap on the floor. She was gone before they could make another move.
“That our evil girl?” Buffy suggested.
Giles swallowed. “It appears so.”
She sighed. “I’ll go get Buffy.”
“No!” Willow said quickly. “We can take care of it. Buffy’s got enough on her mind.”
Buffy rolled her eyes. “Yes, because she’d be totally fine if a giant lion shows up and murders us all.”
Xander came over to put a hand on her shoulder. “Ahn, I think that you should leave this to Buffy’s friends to decide.”
Buffy had had enough of this. “You know what? I’m sick of you always thinking you’re right! It’s up to Buffy. And I think she’d rather make the decision than have it made for her.” She turned sharply, throwing Xander’s hand away from her and stomping out of the Magic Box.
They all watched her go, speechless.
Buffy was furious. Were they really planning on hiding it from her? Now that she thought about it, she remembered that last time around, too, Anya had been the only one who’d tried to tell her anything. The rest had shushed Anya until she’d finally been able to clue Buffy in. If they hadn’t, Glory would have been able to find Dawn much faster, thanks to the transmogrified snake demon she was planning on constructing. And past!Buffy was not equipped to deal with her mother and sister both in that much danger at the same time.
Buffy slowed as she reached the hospital, frowning at the bleached-blond vampire who was carefully avoiding the waning sunlight and speaking to a wary past!Buffy.
“-Just thought I’d see how Joyce was doing, after last night and all,” Spike was saying quietly.
Past!Buffy frowned at him. “What’s your angle?”
“No angle!” Spike said indignantly. From behind them, Buffy smirked. Oh, really? “I like the lady!”
“Oh. Okay, then.” Past!Buffy looked down. “They found something. A tumor. It’s bad.”
Spike’s eyes darkened in concern. “Bugger.”
“Yeah.” Past!Buffy wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m…uh…I’m supposed to wait a few hours.”
“Here?” Spike asked doubtfully. “Seems like all you’ll end up doing is worrying yourself sick.”
Past!Buffy scowled at him. “Well, what am I supposed to do? Throw a party? My mother’s in the hospital! She has a one in three chance that-“ She stopped short, taking in a gasping, shuddering breath.
Spike picked up his hand to put it on her arm, then reconsidered and dropped it. “There’s nothing you can right now, pet,” he said soothingly. “C’mon. Sun’s nearly down. We can go kill some of that stress out of you.”
Past!Buffy laughed raggedly. “Sounds good.”
And it did. But much to Buffy’s regret, she was going to have to change their plans.
It’s just as well, she reflected. Knowing Spike, he’d probably say something terrible and past me would get all mad and totally forget how sweet he’d been beforehand. “Hey, guys,” she said finally, stepping forward to interrupt them. Past!Buffy looked surprised and a little defensive, which Buffy took as a good sign. If past!Buffy felt guilty about having a fuzzy moment with Spike, that probably meant that she was having guilt-inducing feelings. Spike looked embarrassed, but a little relieved that it was her and not a different Scoobie.
“What’s wrong?” past!Buffy asked immediately, seeing the look on her face.
Buffy sighed. “They didn’t want to tell you, but…” She explained about the spell and Glory.
Past!Buffy’s eyes widened. “I’ve got to go.” She tore off, leaving Spike and Buffy staring after her.
“You should meet her at the Magic Box,” Buffy informed Spike. “She may need some help. Would you rather Riley gave her a hand?”
He patted her head and tore off after past!Buffy.
Buffy leaned back against the wall, smiling. This was kind of like a vacation, being able to spend time with the long gone without having to do any of the Slayer work. She wasn’t worried. She believed in her past self.
She peeked in on her sleeping mother for a minute, smiling tearfully at the sight of Joyce, alive and still fairly healthy. Then she headed back to the Magic Box to find out what had happened.
She returned at the same time as past!Buffy and Spike did from slaying the giant snake. Spike was grinning with fierce triumph, past!Buffy was sedate but less distraught. She nodded to Buffy in acknowledgement, and Buffy was surprised at the warmth that ran through her at the recognition. Was I really that charismatic back then? I certainly didn’t think so…
“You’re back! How’d it go?” Willow asked, frowning.
Spike smirked. “All done, no worries.”
“Why did you go?” Riley asked, staring at Spike with intense dislike.
“He was around, that’s all,” past!Buffy said quickly, and Buffy felt a wave of disappointment in her past self. There was no real surprise, of course.
Spike looked wounded, and he slid out of the Magic Box without a word. Buffy moved to go after him, but before she could leave, Xander called, “Anya? You want to go back to the apartment?”
She stared blankly at him. “You do remember we had a fight before I left, right?”
“Oh. We’re still doing that?” Xander blinked.
Buffy sighed. “You know what? I really don’t feel like ‘going back to the apartment’ tonight. I’ll find somewhere else to go.”
She left them all gaping and headed after Spike. I really hope Harmony’s out…
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!