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Authors Chapter Notes:
Sometimes a muse is like a refreshing breeze filling me with energy and ideas, other times it's more like an annoying little cartoon of Graham Norton dancing along the bottom of the television screen during an especially moving speech at the end of a Dr Who two-parter. This story is a result of the later. It came as a silly thought, a fun what if porn plot (silly, sexy and highly improbable) that got stuck in my head.I tried to fight it. I have two WIPs and an original story that I wanted to be working on. But the cartoon kept dancing, so I agreed to write it a one shot--then I fell in love. (So like me.) Anyway, it grew. It is now complete at four parts and will be updated quickly. It is not a parody exactly, but is not meant to be taken too seriously either. I hope you laugh. Let me know.
*If you read my LiveJournal- then you have probably seen this. I am in the midst of archiving a bit of my older fic.*


She’d hated him at first sight. Actually, Buffy had hated him on principle far before she’d ever even laid eyes upon him. That first sight was just the cherry on the top of a whole sundae worth of hating. The first sight was when she stopped feeling even a little bit guilty about hating him on principle.

William Pratt. Spike. Just the thought of his name was enough to make her shaking mad. He wasn’t supposed to be there. He was supposed to be back in England. He was never supposed to smile at her mother while they loaded his luggage into their car and he was definitely not supposed to staying in her brother’s former bedroom. She was supposed to move into her brother’s former bedroom.

Of course, her brother was supposed to be starting college and that hadn’t happened either. Nope, once again Liam Summers had charmed their parents and ruined her life. It had been two months, but Buffy Summers was just as pissed as she’d been the day it happened. This was supposed to be her year. Finally, she would be out from under her brother’s shadow. She’d have the school to herself just in time for a fabulous senior year. She’d worked her ass off to make the Cheerleading Squad and stay in her AP classes. This was supposed to be the year her parents noticed that Liam wasn’t their only star student. Instead, Liam had decided that he needed to travel and found a foreign exchange program that didn’t care that he was technically not a student. As long as his family would welcome a student into their home, he would be welcomed into someone else’s. He hadn’t even had to work hard to convince their parents. Nope, all Liam had to do was show some sad puppy eyes to their mom and tell their dad that he thought seeing the world a bit would make him more ready to settle down and study the following year and he was on his way to Dublin to work in a pub and flirt with the local girls. Her mom hadn’t even seemed bothered by the idea. She gotten all excited about “welcoming someone into the family”.

One minute Buffy had been weeks away from heaven and the next she’d been helping her mom freshen up the paint in her brother’s room. No one even mentioned that she’d been promised that room after Liam moved out. They did mention that their foreign exchange student would be enrolled as a senior at Sunnydale High, though. Oh yeah, and that Buffy would be expected to show him around and help him get settled.

Her final hope was that he’d be a quiet little nerd that stayed out of here way after the initial showing around. She’d still be on track to rule Sunnydale High. But, like everything else, that hadn’t worked out. Her jaw had dropped when he’d walked over and shook hands with her father at the airport. She couldn’t even get a shy, studious foreign exchange student. No, she got stuck with some kind of delinquent. His hair was white. Not blond, white like a punk rocker from a lame eighties band. He wore black from head to toe, including a pair of scuffed up boots that looked older than she was and a leather trench coat. It had been nearly one hundred degrees outside the day they’d collected him from the airport and he’d been wearing an ankle-length leather coat. He was a freak. Worst of all, he had a pierced eyebrow. When Buffy had asked her mother if she could get piercing in her upper ear she’d gotten a lecture about not mutilating the body her mother had carried for nine months and suffered through ten hours of delivery to produce. William Pratt had an eyebrow piercing and the best bedroom in her house. It was only fair that she hate him.

To make matters worse, no one else did. Her mother was charmed by him just because he insisted on helping with the dishes and told her that he’d never tasted better baked chicken in his life. He’d bonded with her father on his second night in town when he’d found her dad’s ancient record collection in the basement. The two of them had made so much noise singing along and pretending to play air guitars that one of the neighbors called. Buffy knew that seeing her father stick his tongue out and hold up his fingers to make the classic rock sign of the horns had scarred her for life.

The next night her father had given him a beer. Eighteen was the drinking age in England, he’d said, it seemed wrong not to let sample some American microbrews. Buffy wasn’t even allowed to drink champagne at her cousin’s wedding, not a single glass.

Her friends couldn’t understand why she hated him either. Cordy thought he was hot. As though that made a difference; he was totally ruining her life. He was in half her classes, which Willow thought was great since it meant that she had someone to study with right in her house and Buffy hated since it meant her teachers all thought it was a good idea to partner her with him for big projects. Then Oz found out that he could play guitar and invited him to join his band and just like that William “Spike” Pratt was the most popular guy at school. It was only October and he’d already gone out with three of the girls on her squad. Three different girls in one month and they all still fawned over him. It made Buffy sick.

She knew the whole nice guy thing was just an act. She’d seen the real Spike. Sure he’d tried to pull off the whole charming guy with a hot accent act with her at first too. He was all “pet” this and “love” that. Please. Buffy Summers was not going to fall for that. She’d made that clear on his third day here. He’d tried to get her to go with him to the carnival and she’d explained that she didn’t go places with strangers. He’d looked hurt for a moment and she’d almost felt bad, but then he’d sneered at her and said that he’d only asked her because her parents were such nice people and that he had no interest in spending time with a spoiled brat anyway. Like she was the spoiled one; he had her bedroom.

At least then she’d been able to stop pretending. They kept it all civil words and vacant smiles in front of her parents, but that was where the charade ended. Alone they were free to snap and bitch at each other as much as they wanted to. They wanted to a lot. She called him a pig and a loser and he referred to her as The Ice Bitch or Princess. That was the one that really pissed her off. Her father called her Princess. It was a totally sweet nickname until Spike made it sound like she was a snob. He was all “Is Your Highness nearly done in the loo.” She hadn’t timed him yet, but Buffy was sure that he took even longer to get ready than she did, especially when he piled on the eyeliner and black nail polish. She couldn’t believe her parents were letting him live with them. She’d sampled blue nail polish one time and her mother had nearly had a stroke. Dark colors aren’t ladylike.

She absolutely despised him. It made no sense that seeing him naked floored her, but it did.

The first time had been an accident. It was, Buffy assured herself, totally his fault. Everyone knew that you should close the bathroom door before changing, even if you think you are the only one home. Up until that day she had given very little thought to his body. Any thought she had given it hadn’t been very complimentary; he’d seemed kind of scrawny and pale. Then she saw him. Naked. Completely and totally naked. He was as pale as she’d expected. Only instead of looking pasty, he looked hot. Ridiculously hot. Pale was totally a good look for him. Her unexpected peek had only lasted for a moment; she was walking up the stairs just as he was stepping out of the shower. At the time she’d considered it her biggest blessing of the year that his drying his hair had given her a chance to escape unnoticed.

But then it haunted her. The image of his lean and tightly muscled form all wet and naked had burned itself into her retinas. She saw him every time she closed her eyes: his chest, his stomach, his cock. It wasn’t that she’d never seen one before, she totally had. But, it also wasn’t like she’d seen enough of them for it to be no big deal. She was fairly sure that even if she saw a bunch more that his would still qualify as a “big” deal.

After a few days she started thinking that she had glorified things too much. Surely he wasn’t as Adonis-like as she remembered. She knew that she would have to take another look. Not because she was attracted to him, because she simply needed to prove to herself that she’d merely been too surprised the first time to form a rational judgment. Luckily, he was staying in the attic room.

The attic room took up the whole third floor. It was absolutely the coolest room in the house; it was huge and had tons of windows. What it didn’t have was a bedroom door. Since the stairs curved and it was the only room on that level there really wasn’t much need for a door and really no place to put one. It didn’t really matter; no one went up there unless it was their room. It was totally private.

Except that it wasn’t. All Buffy had to do was sneak up the stairs and stay ducked just out of sight. His tendency to blare punk music made it almost too easy.

She realized now that she was addicted. The first time had been an accident and the second time was really just an extension of that first time in order to confirm her initial opinion. After that things got murky. Peeking in on him became an almost daily occurrence.

Buffy was careful not to let on when they spoke. If he’d noticed her blushing, she was sure that he had no idea what had caused it. He knew that she hated him. He’d never think that she’d started having sexy dreams about him.

She’d become a criminal in her own house. Every time, she swore that it was the last time and that she was definitely going to turn her back on what had become a perverted little habit; then she’d see him heading up the stairs and find herself following.

This time was no different. She was hanging out in her room, casually flipping through her closet to find something to wear while shopping with Cordelia the next day when he strolled by with a towel wrapped around his waist. He’d clearly just gone swimming and would obviously need to get changed out of his wet trunks. She was halfway up the stairs before she even realized what she was doing.

Buffy quickly tucked herself into her peeking spot and bit her lip. Sure enough, he’d already dropped the towel and the swimming trunks. He didn’t appear to be in any rush to get dressed though. She watched wide-eyed as he walked across the room to turn on the stereo and then over to his bed.

Unhurriedly, he rearranged the pillows against the headboard and lied down on top of the bedspread. Buffy nearly choked as she watched him run his hand down his chest and stomach. When he wrapped his hand around his cock she whimpered. She knew that she should leave. Watching this was much worse than sneaking a quick peek of his seriously hot body. She couldn’t look away. It was as though her gaze was glued on the sight of his hand gliding up and down his shaft. Her own hand clenched and tingled with its want to touch what she was seeing. She pressed her thighs together tightly and tried to ignore her aching center. After a moment, she heard him groan and she trembled. It was the sexiest sound she had ever heard. She hated him, even more so now that he’d unintentionally turned her on more than any of the fumbling and fondling she’d allowed her last boyfriend. She kept watching. He came pretty quickly and with a hoarse shout that made her own panties tellingly wet. Still, she couldn’t leave. She watched him clean up with a couple tissues and then stand up to pull on a pair of jeans. She’d seen him get dressed enough to know that he often skipped wearing underwear. It drove her crazy. How was she supposed to concentrate in class knowing that he was sitting just a couple of desks away with no underwear under his jeans?

She was just about ready to leave when he turned off the radio and started talking. “What do you suppose Joyce is going to say when I tell her about your little peeping game?”


Chapter End Notes:
Come on...show me some love. ;)




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