Reviewer: lisa_dec Signed
Date: 03/15/2008
Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22. Classical Art
I’m so happy I took my time to read you story! (and a little irritated too because my other review disappeared when I had been writing on it for 15 minutes... *sighs*) I noticed that you’d completed this a couple of days ago, but didn’t read it, simply because I didn’t think find the summary that appealing (no offends, one can’t love everything). Anyway, I decided to give it shot and was caught after the first chapter! I have been reading for four hours straight now, and guess if my eyes are tired ;)
Let’s begin with the characters. At first I was a bit perplexed if you’d manage to keep S in character. B is a bit more simple, since you hadn’t changed much but the fact that she wasn’t the Slayer and liked art. I mean, her past was pretty much the same. S on the other hand. He didn’t kill his parents, nor did he turn his mother, instead he killed Dru and saved them. That ought to make him different – and it did. But not in a bad way, and I could see the difference as something good and a part of the story.
The plot is truly original. I always enjoy stories when S is a vamp and B human, and even more I got a weak spot for claims ;) You keep a good pace during the whole story and don’t have any slow parts. I especially enjoyed the claim/sex scene, of course, the one when B painted and when Riley tried to rape her. I really like it that B suggested the claim and not the other way around and can see why S refused at first. What I don’t really buy though is that B accepted the fact that S was a vamp so quickly and wanted the claim immediately. I think it’s a bit too much when it had just been a couple of days, even if they were in love and such.
You’re a very good writer, I especially like your metaphores. I will definetly be looking out for more of your work :) Hope you don’t mind my criticism, I think it’s important to hear that too to make one a better writer.
Thanks for sharing an absolutely great story!
ps. My apologizes if my English is a little bad, I’m kinda tired right now.