Summary: Xander has an irrational fear that he's
hidden for years... His
friends have found a way to get him through it. ;)
Spoilers: Minor, through the fourth season.
Disclaimer: Joss made the characters. I'm just borrowing them for a little
while, putting them in weird and awkward positions (much like the action
figures), and then I'll give them back.
Rating: PG13
Feedback: It's a perfect yum.
Thanks to Tracy for beta-ing, and to Laura for being so strange that I get
these ideas.
by: Amy
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It was the kind of fear no one speaks of, the kind
of fear that envelops the
soul in a quiet panic, the terror of the mere thought closing up your throat.
This was Xander's fear. He didn't know how long it had been there, or when
it had stemmed, but it was always there, riding silent in his mind, casting
him away from real intimacy of any and all kinds.
What he *could* remember of his childhood darkness however, the little he
hadn't blocked out of sheer trauma, was that when he was young, he had an
aunt whose name was Lucy.
He never could remember whatever happened to Aunt Lucy.
That was probably for the best, anyway.
But when he was young, he had walked in on her changing. Aunt Lucy hadn't
been a large woman; she was petite and tidy, but she happened to have had
the
largest breasts he had ever seen.
They scared him.
So while he walked in on her with her shirt off and her bra on, and began
to
scoot out of the room with childlike embarrassment, he was surprised-- no,
shocked-- to hear her call him back.
"Xander?" she asked sweetly.
That was where it always got a little fuzzy in Xander's mind. What he could
pull out of the black spots behind his eyes, though, was that the woman had
had no shame. She wasn't molesting him or harassing him in any way-- that
wasn't her nature-- but instead was simply asking him to help unhook her
brassiere.
She had gotten a new one, she explained, and her arms were having a little
bit of trouble reaching back and unclasping the hooks. Could he do it for
her? She would appreciate it ever so.
And so, from the day that a seven year old Xander fumbled endlessly to help
unhook his aunt Lucy's bra, he had been afraid of the damn things.
Perhaps it was a deeper fear of failure that he was refusing to see. But
as
far as he knew, it was just bras, because it had taken him over three hours
to unhook the thing for her before he had run out of the room like a
frightened rabbit. Well, at least it had seemed that long.
For a long time, he had managed to avoid them. He even found himself smiling
on occasion when one of Buffy's bra straps showed on the outside of her
tank-top.
First there had been Cordelia who, surprisingly enough, though passionate,
wasn't ready to go any farther than kissing with him. That was and wasn't
a
relief to him for many obvious reasons. For, if he was going to be
frustrated with his girlfriend, at least he wouldn't be forced to face the
terror that he had been eluding for years.
And then there was Faith, who didn't even wear a bra. That was the best
thing about his night with her.
And Anya, who liked to undress herself. He always managed to keep his eyes
averted until the bra was on the floor. Then, of course, he would stare like
any other hot-blooded teenager.
But it had come to a stalemate now. And it was all because of Willow.
* * * * * * *
He didn't know how in the world she had found out. How in the world it had
been revealed, his fear of female underclothing. And she wasn't planning
on
telling him that it was Giles who had told her, after a little truth spell
had gone awry, and he had heard Xander confess his darkest secret.
Because, if she told him, she'd never find out anything through Giles
again.
That wouldn't be an easy way to live.
So, instead of telling him anything (why should she, when he had been keeping
this a secret for years?), she gathered up her resources, and brought them
down to his basement in the middle of the afternoon. She hoped this would
work. In a land of demons and fighting and death, Xander shouldn't be afraid
of a bit of lace or cotton or silk.
Unless it was possessed, of course. Which was possible in Sunnydale.
So when Xander looked up from reading his comic book to see four girls
(Willow's resources) marching resolutely down the stairs, he was confused.
And then he could see much more than their legs.
They all stood before him, wearing nothing but skirts or pants and a bra.
He was in serious trouble.
* * * * * * * * *
Finally her words penetrated Xander's brain. "So you see... We figure that
since there are so many *other* things to be afraid of, this one little fear
should be faced and expressed and then gone. This is an intervention,
Xander," Willow said gently, but with a firmness that brooked no room for
argument.
Xander had scooted as far back on his bed as he could manage, his back shoved
up against the back of the couch and the wall. He shook his head. He was
having trouble breathing. "I'm just fine, thanks."
Anya smirked. "You'd think he'd be more excited to see four girls dressed
in
next to nothing in his basement. Xander, isn't this the sort of thing you've
imagined a thousand times?"
"You were always naked," he told her hoarsely. "That's all. Just naked."
Cordelia looked bored. "I came all the way from LA to help Xander with his
fear of," a smile touched her lips, "Bras, and he's not going to cooperate?
This is too sad for even me to tease him about."
"Hey, let's not be so hard on him," Buffy said, looking at Xander-- who was
shutting his eyes tightly-- in concern. "I'm the Slayer, and I have fears.
Some of them aren't normal either."
"Like what?" Xander ventured.
"Like...." She paused, her brow wrinkling. "Like... Death. I guess that's
pretty normal, though, isn't it?"
"Thanks, Buff," he rasped out.
"Anyway," Willow said, glancing at the other girls quickly before pinning
Xander with her gaze. "There's only one way to deal with this. So I'm
putting away all self-consciousness and taking this as though it's a study
in
psychology. Which it is. Xander, come here."
He shook his head.
"Xander," she warned. "If you don't get up off that bed right now and come
here, I'm going to tell them what you *really* did with my Barbie when we
were five."
He scrambled off the bed, almost unknowingly, and then pursed his lips in
annoyance. "I should probably just let you. You're girls; you can't keep
secrets anyway."
Anya's eyes widened. "I'll have you know that there have been plenty of
deaths that I caused that you haven't heard about for certain reasons!
And..." She trailed off, defeated, looking at the other girls. "He's sort
of right."
"Well, I've been keeping that secret since we were little, and it's not going
to slip out now," Willow said sternly. "*Unless* someone gives me a reason
to let it." Her eyes slid to Xander.
"What do you want me to do?" he asked with a shaky voice.
"You get to see us naked," Cordelia said, smiling when his head jerked up.
She nudged Buffy, lowering her voice conspiratorially. "I knew that would
get his attention."
Buffy grinned and watched as Willow stepped forward. "One by one, you're
going to face your fears. You're going to take off our bras, do you
understand?"
Xander felt numb, but he nodded. "Who's first?"
Anya smiled sweetly, stepping forward and stroking her cheek with his hand.
She darted a well-concealed jealous glance behind her to the other girls
but
didn't comment on her jealousy-- This was to help Xander, and she would do
anything to help him out. "Me first."
She turned around.
Xander lifted his hands to the hooks, his hands shaking as soon as he touched
the metal. "I... I don't think...."
"Come on, Xander. Think of how good I look when it's not on," she said with
a smile.
His hands deftly unhooked the thing and he watched as it fell to the floor.
Anya spun around, completely topless, the skin of her assaulting his eyes
like rain assaults a drought. She threw herself into his arms, crushed
herself against his chest, and kissed him. "Are you healed?"
Xander started to smile and say yes like a good boyfriend.
And found himself instead being as quiet as he could and dropping his eyes.
There *were* three other girls in there, who wanted to get naked. For him.
After debating for a moment, he bit his lip and shook his head, shutting
out
all of his morals.
Cordelia sighed and stepped forward. Anya glared at her for a moment and
then stood back, giving them some room. Cordelia leaned forward and brushed
Xander's lips with her cheek. "Only for you, Harris, would I do something
this lamebrained. Get me?"
His heart began to beat wildly in his chest.
"Now lets do this. And no picturing me afterwards, while you're in your
shower or whatever," she added quickly, turning around.
Xander forced out a smile as his hands stilled on the smooth cream lace of
her garment. He stroked it for a moment, enjoying the feel, but stopped when
he realized that Cordelia-- who would allow for some stalling, as long as
he
was gathering his courage-- wasn't going to stand there and let him caress
her back for hours without saying anything. He disconnected the clasps and
watched in hidden delight as the pale, gorgeous skin of her back appeared
as
her bra fell to the ground. He held himself back from touching the silk of
her, and was surprised when she turned around to smile at him.
"Feeling better?"
"I... I don't know yet," he stuttered, his eyes fastened on her chest. She
rolled her eyes and gestured to Willow, who walked up to Xander with a gentle
smile.
"Okay. Here's hoping," she murmured, turning around. Xander gazed at her
petite frame, and the ribcage that was almost-- but not quite-- visible under
her skin. She was wearing a cotton, pinky bra, with two little roses on the
straps. Xander's hands slip up to touch them, as if in awe, before he
quickly-- and now, expertly-- undid the hooks. The bra slipped off, and
Willow turned back around, smiling broadly at him.
She leaned forward for a hug, but he pulled back, closing his eyes. In a
voice that only she could hear, he told her, "I think I'm back in naughty
land with you, Willow."
She blushed a little, moving next to Anya and Cordelia. Cordelia was now
grinning, knowing by the look on Buffy's face what was about to happen.
Xander looked at Buffy who was standing there in a flouncy black skirt and
a
black lace bra, and he smiled, waiting for her to come forward. She shook
her head with a smirk, and turned to the other girls.
"I think he's figured out that with every bra-dropping, there are presents
underneath," she laughed. Xander reddened, shaking his head.
"No... I just... I want to be healed," he told them all seriously.
Willow's mouth gaped open. Anya's eyes darkened. Cordelia joined in on
Buffy's laughter, leaning down to pick up her bra and quickly put it back
on.
Willow, shocked, followed suit, while Anya stared at him angrily. He dropped
his eyes, the blush becoming even more pronounced.
"So, no," Buffy continued. "I don't think I'll be letting Xander undress
me
at this moment." She smirked. "I might have, if I hadn't been watching his
face as he undid your bra, Will. Fascination overwhelms fear, I think."
Anya stood before him, still topless. Her lips tightened. "You wanted to
see them naked?" she demanded.
"I... ah... " He stumbled for words, knowing that he was dead where he stood
no matter what he said. "Like my dreams. The naked part. And...
opportunity. I've never. I think that I might... Can I pass out now?" He
was sweating. Four angry women-- well, really two, because Buffy and
Cordelia were simply amused-- were enough to scare the bravest of men.
Anya drew herself up to her full height and looked him in the eye. "I'm not
going to imagine having sex with you for at least a week," she informed him
indignantly. "And it'll be even longer before I'm up to anything besides
imagining at all," she added.
Xander blanched, and reached for her apologetically, but she dodged out of
his reach and stomped up the stairs, ignoring her nudity. He watched her
go,
crestfallen.
Willow was overcoming her shock, and her mouth opened, small sounds erupting
from her throat. "I... You!!! Was trying to help you!" she squeaked.
"Can't believe this! Bad, Xander! Bad!"
With that, she turned and bolted up the stairs, her face pale and her eyes
feverishly bright. Cordelia hid a grin as she watched the red-head go, and
then followed suit, casting an amused smile behind her to Xander on her way
out. "See you later, Dorkhead," she called.
"Yeah, later, Ice Queen," he said automatically, not hearing his words.
Buffy stepped closer to him, a sympathetic smile curving her lips. "You just
couldn't help it, could you, Xand?" she asked, genuinely curious.
He sighed. "If I'd had an army in front of me, I would have fought my way
through them for a chance like that," he muttered honestly.
"S'okay," she smiled. "Of course, Willow and Anya will take a while to get
over this, but it'll happen in time. I mean, don't you think that we *all*
pictured you naked at least once after we saw you in that speedo?"
Xander blinked, and then gave her a relieved smile. "So you're not mad?
Because I'd hate to have you go Buffy the Vampire Slayer on my sorry butt."
"Nope, I'm not mad," she agreed. "It is sort of sad, though."
She turned to leave, and Xander caught her arm, a question in his eyes.
"What's sort of sad?"
"Oh, you know..." She shrugged. "Now you have one more reason to be afraid
of bras."
The End