Summary: The sequel to the story I was sure there
would never be a sequel to:
The Rebellion.
Spoilers: Through IWRY.
Disclaimer: Joss, who is in this story and deserves to be punished, made
the
characters. They're being stolen though, to co-star next to their evil
creator.
Rating: PG13
Feedback: It's adored.
Thanks to Tracy, Laura, and Karen. You guys rock.
Author's Note: This was written before SB and Heroes, and so I think I've
gone insane by starting yet *another* story in this series, using my grief
as
my inspiration. It'll be out soon.
by:
Amy
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Amy sobbed incoherently, clutching a pillow to her chest. Karen took a calm
bite of her cookie, and raised her eyebrows at the hysterical girl across
from her. "Are you going to eat your cookie?"
"How can you be so mean?" Amy cried, throwing her cookie at Karen.
"Angel.... And Buffy... And then..."
Karen heaved an impatient sigh. "Well, you know that my mean classes are
how
I manage it. And so what about Angel? Hey, at least you got to see him
shirtless. But live with it. I had to do that with Oz, right?"
"Yeah, but with Oz, there's hope," Amy shot back wearily. "He's coming back.
And until then, and even after, you have Spike to keep you company. It's
not like Buffy and Angel's relationship. God, how did this happen??" She
rubbed at her puffy eyes as Karen proceeded to eat her cookie.
Tracy and Laura walked in, their arms stacked with books. Stopping at the
sight of Karen cold-heartedly eating Amy's cookie, they looked at each other
and sighed. "Karen, are you being mean about Angel again?"
"Well..." She squirmed. "Not mean, exactly. Just unsympathetic."
Amy sniffled a little, and Laura and Tracy shrugged, no doubt feeling less
than sympathetic themselves. They had seen the heartbreaking Angel episode
over a month before, and Amy still wouldn't stop whining about it.
Laura sat down, and Tracy handed a small pile of books to Karen and Amy.
"Anyway. There's something funny going on here, and I think we should look
into it."
Amy blew her nose loudly. "Am I the only Angel lover?" she wailed.
"Shut up," the three other girls told her in unison, rolling their eyes.
Amy pouted. "Fine." Then she perked up. "So what did you guys find?"
Laura threw her an amused smile at her remarkable recovery. "Well, doesn't
it seem a bit strange? We've been running the Buffy universe for nearly a
year now, and things were going smoothly. Until Parker came along. Then
things started going a bit haywire. Willow and Oz breaking up, Oz
leaving..."
"Damn straight," Karen muttered.
"And the Angel thing," Tracy continued. "Besides, Xander hasn't gotten
nearly enough airtime."
"Giles hasn't either," Laura interrupted.
Karen nodded slowly. "I see your point. When we decided to let them take
their own routes a few months ago, so that there would be *just* enough
conflict to keep the shows alive and kicking, it wasn't like this."
"It was in reruns then," Amy threw in dryly.
Karen stuck her tongue out at her. "Yeah, but you know what I mean. Things
are different now, very different. What happened?"
Tracy gestured to her books. "That's what Laura and I have been wondering.
We've been researching it. This just isn't the way we had planned things
to
go when we formed the Rebellion. We were looking for happies, not...
saddies. And now, almost every episode makes us want to cry. Why is that?"
Amy sat up straight. Her eyes widened. "Who was the last one to check
on...?"
Laura's voice was low and dangerous. "Joss."
"My God," Tracy whispered, terror filling her tone.
"This just isn't possible," Karen muttered, polishing off her cookie. "Let's
see. I saw him... three months ago. Amy, you were on watch after that."
"Yeah, and two weeks after that, I *took* my turn," she defended. Then she
paused. "I wasn't... I wasn't supposed to look after him until now, was I?"
Karen's eyes fastened on the spork lying on the coffee table, and Amy quickly
took it out of her reach. Tracy's voice was quiet. "Yeah, sort of. We each
had three month watches."
"I thought that meant that we checked on him once every three months!" Amy
cried frantically. "I didn't mean it!"
Laura got up quickly. "Come on. Maybe we're wrong, maybe there's another
explanation."
They hurriedly got up and ran into the room where they kept the evil genius
tied up. Tracy fumbled a moment for the key in her haste, and then found
it,
quickly unlocking the door.
They gasped in unison. "He's gone!"
Karen licked a cookie crumb off her finger. "I guess we don't call him an
evil genius for nothing."
"Get the men!" Tracy shouted, panicked. "He didn't like being messed with
when Angel got all vamped, right? Get Angel! Get Xander and his shovel! Do
anything!"
Amy and Laura looked at each other and bolted off to find the characters
that
they so dearly loved, the characters who very well could be in jeopardy.
Tracy straightened her spine, looking at Karen. "Get me the laptop," she
whispered firmly, but reverently.
Karen looked at her once before nodding and running down the hall.
* * * * * * *
Laura's and Amy's shoulders were slumped as they walked back into the holding
room to find Tracy. Tracy didn't miss the fact that they were alone, nor
the
fact that Amy was barely holding back her tears. "We couldn't find them,"
Amy muttered over and over, numbly.
As Amy sank to the ground, Laura turned to Tracy and explained. "When we
tried to call them up, the phones had been disconnected. So we drove to into
Sunnydale, *our* Sunnydale... And they weren't there. The town was deserted.
Except for a sad little boy riding a bike."
"All gone," Amy mumbled. "Just all gone."
Karen burst into the room, her hair wild and her face flushed. "Found it!
Trace, what on Earth made you hide it under that pile of dirty laundry?"
Tracy shrugged. "Well, he hasn't taken it, has he now?" Taking the laptop
from Karen, she settled down and opened it slowly, a respectful silence
falling over the four girls. Tracy hit the keys, quickly typing in, 'Find
Joss.'
Instantly, the girls were transported to a small tent in the middle of the
desert. The hot air blew around them, and the sand stung as it flew into
their legs by the wind's power. Karen growled, low in her throat. Again
there was a Xena cry, such that has never been heard before or since. Karen
ran into the tent with her arms raised.
Then there was silence.
The three other girls exchanged worried looks. Stalking up to the flap in
the door silently, they peeked inside. They suddenly felt like they couldn't
breathe.
Joss, in his infinite evil brilliance, stood before a monstrous computer
entirely made out of... Sporks. He was cackling madly, waving his hands
around him in the evil delight that made him who he was.
There, in little chairs (the really uncomfortable kind that are used for
children's parties, the kind that adults have to squeeze to get into...),
sat
the entire group. Tied up. Their eyes were large and afraid.
Words began to melt into the sound of Joss's laughing, and the girls turned
to see who he was talking to. It was Karen, tied and gagged into being
quiet. "So you see, I couldn't let them be happy," Joss explained to Karen,
still waving his hands around in a way that made him look slightly like a
caricature. "I couldn't just let them.. Lead their own lives! What kind of
an evil genius would I be if I allowed that to happen?"
Karen shook her head, a muffled "I don't know," coming through her gag.
"Yes," Joss mumbled, to himself. "Yes, it wouldn't have been right. And now
that I've made this computer out of those sporks you girls cordially allowed
me to eat with, nothing can come in my way. Why, I saw you come in, and
typed 'tie,' and then you were. It's brilliant, isn't it?" He patted the
scary machine fondly.
Laura gritted her teeth. "We need to get him away from the computer. At
least for a moment."
"How are we going to do that, without letting him know we're here?" Amy asked
under her breath.
Tracy's eyes darted around. "The guys could help us."
"Yeah, but they're tied up," Laura pointed out. "All tied up and... Gee,
is
that sweat on Giles's forehead? How..." Her eyes got dreamy. "Nice."
Tracy and Amy followed her gaze to the men, who *were* all tied up and
sweaty. It was a very attractive sight, or would have been if not for the
imminent danger ahead of them. Finally they shook themselves out of the
trance and Tracy locked eyes with Karen, who noticed them peeking in through
the tent flap. She tried to smile.
Tracy mouthed, "Get him away from the computer."
Karen nodded, understanding. She mumbled something, and Joss leaned forward.
"What? What are you trying to say?" He took off the gag. "For Heaven's
sake..."
"I have to go to the bathroom," Karen informed him sweetly. "I had a lot
of
milk with my cookies."
"Oh, all right," he grumbled, untying her but staying close to the computer.
"Have one of them take you." Joss jerked his head in the direction of the
Sunnydale group. "But remember, I can tie you back up any time I like."
Karen's eyes were troubled, but then she calmed and walked toward Willow.
Quickly untying the redhead, she ignored Xander, who muttered, "Geez, why
do
girls always go in groups?" and helped Willow up.
Faking a stumble, Willow reached down and untied Buffy's restraints. Buffy
hid a smile, flexing her muscles to get her circulation going, and waited
in
the chair until they decided what to do.
Karen and Willow disappeared behind the back flap. Laura stood, brushing
off
her jeans. "I'll go see what's happening."
"Be careful!" Tracy called after her.
Amy didn't say anything. She decided it would be better to save her voice
for prayers.
* * * * * *
"So, what's the word?" Laura whispered, catching up with them behind the
massive tent.
"We knock him down," Willow explained simply. "With Buffy untied, which I'm
sure he won't notice now that he's gone *completely* insane, it shouldn't
be
too hard. Even if he manages to get to his computer to tie one of us back
up, there are still the other two. He won't be expecting that. One, maybe.
Not two."
Laura and Karen bowed their heads in obedience, curbing the strange impulse
to say, "It will be as you say, Oh Magnificent One."
Finally Willow smiled. "But, for now?"
"Yes?" they asked in unison, hanging on her every word.
"I really *do* have to go to the bathroom," she grinned. "Thanks for the
ploy."
* * * * * *
When Laura came back, Amy and Tracy pounced on her for information. She
raised her hands to slow them down. "When Buffy knocks him over... I think
it'll be Buffy... We go in there and kill the spork machine. Then we untie
the men, and get him back to where he belongs."
"In the cage?" Amy pressed, her eyes bright.
Tracy smiled. "I think, for this one, he *definatly* deserves the cage."
Just then they heard a crash. Racing in, they grinned broadly at the sight
of Buffy kicking Joss to the floor. His hand finally stopped that annoying
fluttering about, and he instead folded them, to plead for their mercy.
Tracy, Laura, Karen and Amy ran over to the rest of the group, hurriedly
getting them out of their restraints. The men dropped kisses onto their
cheeks before running to help Buffy with the strange and scary fight she
was
involved in.
Well, not completely scary. Joss wasn't doing anything more than sobbing
at
that point. But still strange. Still very, very strange.
After they had tied him up, Karen took out the bottom spork and watched the
entire computer topple over on itself. She held up the spork triumphantly.
"A new one for my collection!"
* * * * * *
The couples lay quietly entangled in front of the fireplace. Joss was gagged
and bound, laying on the floor of the cage that hung from the ceiling. He
was pouting, annoyed; he closed his eyes instead of watching Buffy kiss
Angel, and Amy kiss him after that, instead of acknowledging the kisses that
went from Willow and Oz and Xander and Giles to the kisses that went from
Karen to Oz and Tracy and Xander and Laura and Giles.
Happiness made him miserable.
He sighed angrily.
The group looked up at him, amused smiles flickering over their faces. They
spoke at the same time.
"Oh, shut up."
The End