Summary: This is somewhat of a sequel to my story Consciousness. You need to know that Xander and Willow are married, Angel is human. He and Buffy are married, and Cordelia has died.
Spoilers: Takes place a few years after Becoming
Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine, no matter how much I wish they were. <sigh> They belong to Joss Whedon and the WB I have to live with borrowing them for my stories.
Rating: You watch the show, this is fine
Feedback: Please. I live off the stuff like Buffy lives off Angel... Like Angel lives off blood... Like Willow lives off the computer... I'll shut up now.

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"Hoo hoo hoo... hee hee hee..." Okay, this was harder than I thought it would be. But it was coming very fast. And it hurt. Xander gripped one hand and Buffy the other as my eyes flitted between their supportive faces.

"Breathe.... Breathe... You're doing so good, sweetie. You can do this. I love you... I love you." Xander's voice shook with love and awe. His words echoed in my head. He loved me. I could do this. It wasn't that hard. "AHHHH!" Xander's voice shook with pain, then. I let out a breath and grinned sheepishly at him, loosening my hold on his hand. He smirked and started breathing with me again.

"Concentrate. Will, this is gonna be so worth it." Buffy's voice was steady and strong and I believed her. I believed me. It was gonna be worth it. So I concentrated. Not on the pain, not even on the work, but on the past. On the love that made this happen, made this possible. On the love that bound everything together for this perfect, perfect moment. The doctor's head appeared.

"One last push. One last breath and one last push, and it will be done. Go for it, Mrs. Harris." The doctor sounded bright and cheerful, and utterly calm and for half a second I wondered how anyone could be calm. But then that moment passed and I found myself breathing in deeply and holding my breath once more. I spoke, pushing the words out, and squeezed my eyes shut as I felt the tears begin. "Xanderxanderxanderxanderxander!"

In a split second's time I saw Giles, Oz and Angel burst into the room, as per my request for them all to be there. "Did I miss it?!" The startled question came from all of them at the exact same moment. I tried my hardest to grin as I pushed, but to no avail. I think they thought I was glaring. "Do you not, uh, want us in here?" Oz had the same mellow quality to his voice, but he seemed a bit shaken at what he was seeing. Xander looked at my face and laughed.

"No, she's smiling at you all." Only Xander would have known that. Thank God for Xander. I wanted them all with me. Angel grinned at me and I tried to smile again as he slipped his right hand into Buffy's free one. He stared down at me, friendship and kinship lighting his eyes. And I was glad that Giles's plane had gotten in on time... I didn't just want them all, I needed them all.

I looked at Oz and was grateful yet again that I had been two days early from my due date so that he wouldn't have to miss because of his monthly uh, thing. Another crisis averted. All of them were there with me. All but one. But I felt that, since Cordy wasn't there, at least her love for us was. And I took that as a good sign.

I felt an agonizing tear and then the gracious feeling of release as I stared at the black spots in my eyes. Time seemed to slow and I felt my life pass before my eyes. I saw it all happen in that instant.

I saw my childhood meeting with Xander. I saw us growing up as precocious children. I saw us meeting Jesse. Jesse, our beloved friend who was gone, as was another quite beloved friend. I hoped they were together.

I saw myself meet Buffy. I saw my innocent life change forever. I saw myself acquire a friendship that would last forever, in hearts and in books. A friendship that would become famous among the selected.

I saw myself meet Giles, who I had learned to call Dad. As he was really the only one I had ever known. He was our father, and he tied the Slayerettes together in, if nothing else, the fact that he loved us and we loved him.

I saw myself in the library, that night I caught Xander and Cordelia kissing. And for the first time, no pain at all accompanied that memory. I was glad that she had had Xander. I was glad that he had had her.

I saw my first date with Oz, my first kiss with him. My first kiss, ever. He had taught me the joys of love, and he had taught me the things that you can receive if you let yourself go long enough to feel. To feel everything. I never wanted to feel any less after I did that. He was such a dear friend.

I saw Xander especially. I saw him with me, I saw the first time our lips met. I saw the first time we acknowledged all that was hidden in our hearts. I saw his proposal, silly, but down on one knee and honest. I saw his beautiful hazel-brown eyes locked with mine at our wedding, the world falling away as we pronounced our love, forever. I saw him on our wedding night, kissing me, and me kissing him, with all the passion and love built up over the years. I saw all that, and I saw more.

I saw our future. I saw us, down the line, training our Slayer daughter. For I knew that that is what she would be. I already knew. Mother's intuition, or my own reality, I knew that our daughter would one day be a Slayer. And I saw us. I saw us, old and withered, together. I saw our warm, wrinkled hands joining, and I saw the same sparkle of love in our eyes. I concentrated.

And all of a sudden, I was holding her. I was holding a tiny, red faced, *beautiful* little girl in my arms as Giles and Oz laughed and pounded each other on the back, and Buffy and Angel held each other, with mirroring soft smiles on their faces. I had a flash of something, and suddenly knew that Buffy was expecting. Something that she and Angel had been trying for ever since his humanity was restored. The day was full of blessings.

Xander reached out and placed a hand on our baby's blanketed stomach and she went quiet, though I hadn't heard her frustrated cries before. She went quiet and simply looked at him, at us. Our voices melded into one and Xander and I pronounced her name, never discussed before, but always known.

"Cordelia Rose." Tears broke free from my eyes and my vision blurred as Xander took our newborn daughter and held her gently. I was looking at my husband as a father. I was looking at my little girl. I felt so young and so old at the same time.

"You're beautiful, you did it. You're so beautiful, you did it. I love you so much." I wasn't sure if Xander was speaking to me or to our Cordelia. Probably both. Our love had proven so much and accomplished so many things.

This was the greatest yet.

The End.

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