Summary: Xander's pov in *the scene* in Lover's Walk.
Spoilers: Through Lover's Walk
Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine, no matter how much I wish they
were. <sigh> They belong to Joss Whedon and the WB I have to live with
borrowing them for my stories.
Rating: You watch the show, this is fine.
For Tracy, who is feeling ill. I hope you get better soon! :)
And for Seren. You know you like chocolate chip cookie dough. Reading the
first part of this story is like a guilty pleasure, isn't it? Muhahaha.
by: Amy
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I tried to get to my feet at the scared look on her face. "We'll get out of here as soon as I make my move," I assured her. Willow tried to let me lean on her, but at my weight and her frail shoulders, we tumbled back onto the bed. "As long as my move doesn't involve standing up, or the use of my limbs," I added, making her laugh. The first good thing since I woke up, that laugh. It made me smile. Even in the situation we were in, hearing her laugh warmed my heart like it always had.
Always. I think that means before I met her. Is that possible?
She smelled really good. Though I could smell the sweat and blood off of me, Willow still smelled like trees and wind. I suddenly wondered what a Willow smelled like. If we got out of this alive, I would make sure to find out.
Her soft, warm body was on the bed next to mine. She had fallen there, and though her mouth protested, her eyes told me she wanted to stay. I tugged her a little bit closer, not wanting her to leave. My head was hurting. I knew that if I didn't kiss her, it would hurt more. An excuse? Yeah, but even though I knew it, it didn't stop me from holding her as close as I could.
Willow's eyes wavered in doubt, but her skin warmed under my palm and she leaned in a little closer. "We're not supposed to," she protested weakly, unable to say what she really wanted to. I could tell-- I always could tell-- That her love for me stayed on the tip of her tongue at all times. Even when I was lying to myself about it, I could tell.
I waved away her uncertainty. "Exception for impending death situations." Her eyes got serious as her head drifted closer to mine. We kissed.
Everything about kissing Willow is amazing. The way she breathes, the little stutter she makes when she's really concentrating. Kind of like a murmur in sleep. The way her hands moved across my face left me feeling cold and hot at the same time. I wound my fingers through her hair and let out a sigh-- Of happiness, of sadness. Of relief over being held by her.
Her mouth moved softly against my own. Deepening the kiss, I felt her eyelashes graze my cheek. How was it that I had never noticed all these beautiful things about her until now? How was it that I had refuse to allow her heart access to mine? Though it wasn't like she wasn't the one who was always in it. Even through the various women and crushes I got myself into, I knew that Willow was the one steady woman in my life and always would be. Which might have been the reason I had never ventured to this place with her before. So many things can go wrong once something special and simple is complicated. I concentrated on the kiss... Wasn't hard to do, not being able to think of anything else.
I don't know how long we laid like that. Minutes and days sort of melted together and I felt her tongue explore my mouth with a gentle passion. She tasted like raspberries. Hand picked. Warmed by the sun. Everything that had ever tasted sweet and fresh to me came into my mind in those moments. None compared to her.
Suddenly she pulled back. My hand slid down to her hip in shock as she leaned around to look at the noise coming from behind her. Cordelia and Oz stood stock still as they stared at us. Cordelia was the first to find her voice.
"Oh, God."
In those two words, her voice sounded so small and shocked, like the one person in the world who she had trusted to never hurt her had done just that. I echoed her. "Oh, God." I could already see Cordelia's face start to crumple in the betrayal of all that I had promised her when we had been together.
Willow didn't take her eyes off her boyfriend. "Oh, God, Oz!"
Oz gathered his wits and muttered, "We have to get out of here." I looked at Cordelia who was still staring in horror. Glancing down, I realized that my hand was still on Willow's hip. I yanked it off as Cordelia started up the stairs at a pace that I recognized as dangerous.
"Cordy--" I lifted myself off the bed, somehow finding the strength to stand. Willow automatically started to help me up, but let go when she saw Oz's eyes harden. Cordelia was halfway up the stairs when we heard the crash.
I heard it before I saw it. The sound, noise vibrating off walls, made me cringe and I raced after her. An icy grip closed over my heart. I knew it was bad.
"Cordelia?!" I yelled. Kneeling over the hole in the floor, I looked down. She was smiling weakly, her hair full of dust and her face incredibly gray. My eyes wandered down the length of her to check for anything broken. They stopped when I saw the spike sticking up, stabbing through her stomach. My stomach tightened and I felt like throwing up. Willow gasped beside me and Oz muttered something under his breath before carefully racing up the remainder of the stairs.
I started looking at the hole, looking for a way to get down to Cordy. She was breathing shallowly. Willow discreetly gripped my hand and I felt the warmth course through me for a second before I let go, denying myself of her comfort and touch. Bracing myself on a bar just below me, I lowered myself down. Willow touched my leg uncertainly. "Be careful," she whispered. I nodded as I dropped heavily to the ground.
Crawling over to my girlfriend, my hands hovered uneasily in the air above the wound. I heard Willow call out. "Don't move, Cordy. Oz went to get help." I took her hand in mine and she turned her head my way.
"Cordelia, hang on." All I could think of to say... The words pounded through my head as being stupid and useless.
Her voice came out choked. "Xander?"
"I'm here," I assured her. She looked up at me with wide, blind eyes.
"I... I can't see you." I felt my eyes fill with tears and my chin start to move on it's own as her head fell back with a soft thud against the ground. Willow sucked in her breath, and I heard her lower herself down.
She grasped Cordelia's wrist, checking the pulse. "Okay.... The ambulance will be here soon. We need to keep her warm, but not move her." I looked at Willow helplessly and finally stretched myself beside Cordelia, her small, trembling hands between mine. Willow got on the other side of her, making as little movement as possible.
She reached over and placed her right hand over ours, not knowing what else to do. My tears spilled over as I met her eyes and silently thanked her and apologized in one glance.
She pulled her hand off ours and I felt a closing in my chest, a sudden loneliness travel down my spine. I followed Willow's eyes up, to where Oz was watching what was happening. I could tall that he was debating coming down himself to help. Willow and I shook our heads at the same time and his face took on a closed, cold look.
Willow sniffed softly, trying to hide her pain. She couldn't hide it from me. I gathered myself and began chanting in a low voice. "It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay." Horrible as it sounds, I'm not sure who I was talking to. Cordelia, Willow... Or myself. I quieted as I heard a soft sound in the background grow louder.
The ambulance was coming.
The End.