Kiss the Stars was nominated for a 1999 Golden Frog Award in the category of Best Sappy/Love Fic.
Summary: W/X. I know that a lot of you hate that, but I couldn't help
myself.
< g >
Spoilers: Everything, to be safe.
Disclaimer: MINE MINE, The characters are all MINE!!! HAHAHAHA!!!
Well,
okay, they're not, but I like to pretend sometimes.
Rating: PG
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Kiss the Stars was nominated for a 1999 Golden Frog Award in the category
of Best Sappy/Love Fic.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by: Amy
The Bronze was packed. High schoolers and twenty-somethings alike roamed around aimlessly for something interesting to come across. People were ordering drinks, talking with their friends, dancing. Willow observed it all absently, not really seeing any of it. She was alone.
Breaking up with Oz had been one of the hardest things she had ever done, ever had to do. His face, in the second she had gotten the words out, had been so... Shocked. Shocked, angry, hurt. But worst of all, understanding. He knew that they couldn't be together if her heart wasn't really with him. That understanding sweetness in him brought her to tears every time she thought about it.
And it had been months.
He had left directly after, a side effect, Willow supposed of their break-up. He told her that it was because his mom wanted him to come live with her, and Willow knew that that was part of it, but she also knew the other reason. Because it hurt to be around her. It would for a long, long time. She felt the same way.
It's always that way with your first boyfriend, she thought. The first kiss, the first "I love you," the first time your heart explodes in your chest at the sight of someone who so obviously loves you back... the first everything wonderful. And Oz had treated her so good. There was just always someone else. He knew it long before she was ready to admit it.
It hurt to love Xander. With him, the love was deeper than anything she had ever felt before, running through her veins, something she had been designed to do. How could she not love him? But it was so different. With Xander, was hurting and wanting and never having. Wanting something so badly that your heart ached in your chest and your eyes stung with tears. Wanting something impossible. To be with Xander-- Really *be* with him-- be able to kiss him or tell him that she loved him whenever she wanted, would be like being able to kiss the stars, inhale the sweet scent of them.
For a while, he had wanted her too.
She had been his willing toy, his partner in pranks when they were little, his sounding board about girls she had to force herself not to resent, his Dear Abby, dutifully dolling out advice when he needed it. She tried to make him laugh when he was down, was there for him through everything.
And for a few, precious, secret weeks, it seemed to pay off. No longer was he looking past her to other girls. *She* was the one who caught his eyes when he walked into a room. *She* was the one making his heart burn inside his chest, making him be overcome with wanting to kiss her. And his kisses with her were urgent and sweet things, tentative and passionate all at once. Just like she knew they would be.
She had been so young once. Her dreams had been utterly unrealistic and romantic, nothing she could hope of achieving. If he were hers, she'd kiss the air that covered him, watch the moonlight dance in his eyes. She'd hold him safely in her arms. He would never want for love, he would have so much.
But why think about those things now? Willow took a dispassionate sip of her Pepsi and set it back down. Buffy was out slaying. Giles was researching. Oz and Cordelia were gone. Angel was too. She had been ordered to relax. And Xander... Who knew where he was? There was a time when Willow always knew where he was, knew what he was doing and who he was with.
Willow grinned sadly to herself at her thoughts. < I'd been stalking him. > Her smile grew until she was laughing, alone at her table, holding an empty cup.
And then, just as suddenly, she was crying.
People still milled around her, going here or there, completely oblivious to her tears. She slunk down in her chair, wiping her wet cheeks, trying to control her hysterical outburst over Xander. Over everything they had been together. Over everything they were never going to be.
Something suddenly rang inside her, shocking her with how strong the feeling was. She looked up.
And then, like a wish from a dream, he was there. The crowd parted and Xander was left standing there, looking around the room. Finally, after what seemed like years, his eyes rested on Willow, sitting there, so little and sad. eyes locked with his and he made his way over to her.
When he reached the table, his eyes widened at her tearstained face. Willow stared at Xander, wordless, letting him know with her eyes why she had been crying. He gave a long sigh, breathing out heavily and reached his hand up her cheeks, softly drying them with his fingers.
His fingertips trailed down her face to her swollen, pink lips and gently brushed over them. Willow gave a trembly sigh and leaned into his hand. His voice was soft and deep when he finally spoke, and for once, nothing but seriousness was in it.
He stretched out his hand.
"Dance with me?"
Willow sucked in her breath and nodded, chewing on her lip. She took his hand and he lead her to the dance floor. On the way there, she was struck by how he tried to protect her body from getting bumped or smashed into. He was shielding her. Willow's heart thundered.
They stopped in the middle of the dance floor and he wound his arms around her tightly, holding her close, swaying to the music. Willow's eyes fell shut as she was sweetly reminded of the first time they had danced like that, warm and cozy in her bedroom. Her hands slid up his shoulders to his neck and locked there. Willow pulled back a little and looked at him.
"Xander, we should talk about--" she started softly. He shook his head silently, effectively shushing her.
"Later. Do you know that my first memory is of you?" he asked her softly. Willow smiled. "It is," he continued. "I remember your hair... It sort of shined in the sunlight, and you were playing with your Barbie by the teeter- totter. And I loved you."
Willow fixed startled eyes on him, trying to gauge his sincerity. He simply nodded again and shrugged a little. "I made up my mind to do it. I wanted you to be my friend so badly that day. And when you became just that, my very *best* friend, I couldn't help but love you more. You were everything to me, Willow. You still are."
Willow's eyes shimmered with new tears, pleased and contented ones. Xander's lips curved into a warm smile, one meant only for her. His eyes searched her face for a long moment, and then he finally leaned back against the pressure of her arms, apparently happy with what he saw on her face.
"I love you, Xander." The words slipped from her, innocent in her mind, but scary once they were spoken. The air felt thick as Willow waited for his reaction.
But she knew what it would be.
And she was right. His smiled broadened and he gathered her closer, a willing rag doll in his arms, his strength and her submissiveness. "I love you, too."
His head dipped and hers lifted as their lips caught in a kiss that was as fiery as it was gentle. His arms found the small of her back, and he pressed her tightly against him, the kiss growing firmer. Willow ground her lips against his and was pleased when he reacted in turn, his tongue dueling with hers, their bodies pressed together on the crowded dance floor. She wound her fingers through his hair, pulling on it gently, sucking on his lips and tongue as he ran his fingers up and down her back. Willow groaned and leaned against him.
Neither of them noticed the people staring at the steamiest kiss they had ever seen. Neither of them heard the music stopping, heard the people begin to cheer as the kiss went on and on. They were in their own world, apart from the titles of the shy nerd and the class clown. Just two people, obviously in love and discovering it, nothing else mattering.
At length, Willow pulled away and Xander grinned at the smoky flicker in her green eyes. His heart turned with pride. He had done that to her, made her cheeks that flushed, made her eyes glow like that, brought that smile to her face. And she had done that to him.
He kissed her again, slowly, and then tugged her off the dance floor to the table where she had been before. Where she had been waiting for him to come and rescue her. They sat down, holding hands and smiling widely at each other, each knowing that they had a lot to talk about.
There was time.
The End